1
00:00:05,250 --> 00:00:06,289
Mel: RYDER,

2
00:00:06,290 --> 00:00:08,039
YOU'RE JOINING THE NAVY?

3
00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:09,040
YEP.

4
00:00:10,290 --> 00:00:14,040
JUST SO I'M CLEAR, THE
UNITED STATES NAVY?

5
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,379
THAT'S THE ONE. IT
WAS LENNOX'S IDEA.

6
00:00:17,380 --> 00:00:18,999
WHOA, YOU CAN'T PIN THIS ON ME.

7
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,379
NO, I TOLD YOU TO PUT ON PANTS
AND GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

8
00:00:21,380 --> 00:00:23,329
OKAY, THAT SOUNDS NOTHING
LIKE, "JOIN THE NAVY."

9
00:00:23,330 --> 00:00:25,169
YOU TOLD ME TO GET
MY OLD JOB BACK.

10
00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:27,080
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE,
"JOIN THE NAVY" EITHER.

11
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,419
RIGHT, BUT WHEN I WENT DOWN
TO THE LASER TAG PLACE

12
00:00:30,420 --> 00:00:32,669
TO GET MY OLD JOB BACK,
IT'D GONE OUT OF BUSINESS

13
00:00:32,670 --> 00:00:36,119
AND INSTEAD, EXACTLY WHERE IT USED
TO BE WAS A NAVY RECRUITING CENTER.

14
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,170
I MEAN, IF THAT'S NOT FATE,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT...

15
00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:40,920
YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU
DON'T KNOW WHAT.

16
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,169
RYDER, YOU CAN'T BE IN THE NAVY!

17
00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:45,080
YOU DON'T THINK I
COULD HANDLE IT?

18
00:00:45,081 --> 00:00:46,119
NO!

19
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:47,879
DON'T YOU REMEMBER
YOU WERE TELLING ME

20
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:49,329
ABOUT THAT TIME YOU
WERE IN THE SHOWER

21
00:00:49,330 --> 00:00:51,169
AND YOU WERE FASCINATED
BY THE SHOWER HEAD

22
00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:53,079
AND YOU WERE STARING AT IT AND
FORGOT TO CLOSE YOUR MOUTH

23
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:54,539
AND YOU ALMOST DROWNED?

24
00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:56,210
YOU ALMOST DROWNED IN
THE SHOWER, RYDER!

25
00:00:57,210 --> 00:00:59,329
YEAH, AND PLUS A
GIRL DUMPS YOUR ASS

26
00:00:59,330 --> 00:01:00,379
AND YOU JOIN THE NAVY?

27
00:01:00,380 --> 00:01:01,959
I MEAN, THAT'S SO CLICHE.

28
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,499
OKAY, MAYBE THIS WHOLE THING
STARTED ABOUT A GIRL,

29
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:07,419
BUT I GOT DOWN THERE AND THE
RECRUITER STARTED TALKING TO ME

30
00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:11,039
ABOUT GOALS AND DIRECTION AND
DOING SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE.

31
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:12,829
IT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU
GUYS WERE TALKING ABOUT.

32
00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:13,919
LISTEN, RYDER...

33
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:14,960
WHAT IS THAT, A DRUG TEST?

34
00:01:16,540 --> 00:01:17,750
LOOKS LIKE IT'S NEGATIVE.

35
00:01:20,170 --> 00:01:21,460
I'M NOT PREGNANT.

36
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,460
MY NEPHEW WANTS
TO JOIN THE NAVY.

37
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,880
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO CRY ABOUT FIRST.

38
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:30,119
I'M HERE FOR YOU, BABY.

39
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,790
AW, AUNT MEL.

40
00:01:32,790 --> 00:01:34,669
(sighs) I'M HERE FOR YOU, TOO.

41
00:01:34,670 --> 00:01:36,710
HEY, ME TOO.

42
00:01:40,330 --> 00:01:41,790
SO, WHO ELSE IS HUNGRY?

43
00:01:42,790 --> 00:01:44,539
(theme music playing)

44
00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:46,079
- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪
- ♪ All good ♪

45
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,079
- ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪
- ♪ Okay ♪

46
00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:49,829
- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪
- ♪ All right ♪

47
00:01:49,830 --> 00:01:51,329
♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪

48
00:01:51,330 --> 00:01:53,499
- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪
- ♪ All good ♪

49
00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:55,039
- ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪
- ♪ Okay ♪

50
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,419
- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪
- ♪ All right ♪

51
00:01:57,420 --> 00:02:00,039
♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪

52
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:02,290
♪ WITH ME ♪

53
00:02:05,170 --> 00:02:07,249
WELL, I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING.

54
00:02:07,250 --> 00:02:08,250
ME NEITHER.

55
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,880
WHICH THAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

56
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,249
RYDER AND THE NAVY,
THAT'S JUST CRAZY!

57
00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:17,670
YES, YES. NO, OF COURSE THAT'S
WHAT I THOUGHT YOU MEANT.

58
00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:20,039
YOU THOUGHT I MEANT
THE NON-PREGNANCY.

59
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,789
YOU KNOW, IT'S OKAY, JOE.

60
00:02:21,790 --> 00:02:22,919
YOU CAN SAY IT.

61
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:25,079
I'M NOT GOING TO BREAK INTO
A MILLION LITTLE PIECES.

62
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:26,960
(sobs) OH, JOE!

63
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:29,959
OH, HONEY, COME ON. LOOK,
IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.

64
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,209
HERE.

65
00:02:31,210 --> 00:02:35,829
I KNOW, IT'S JUST THE STRESS OF MONTHS
OF TRYING AND THE DISAPPOINTMENT.

66
00:02:35,830 --> 00:02:36,919
I KNOW, I FEEL IT TOO.

67
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:39,040
HEY, I DID SOME OF MY BEST WORK.

68
00:02:40,420 --> 00:02:43,919
MAYBE WE NEED TO SEE SOMEBODY,
LIKE A FERTILITY SPECIALIST.

69
00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:45,669
NO, NO, NO, HONEY.
WHAT WE NEED TO DO

70
00:02:45,670 --> 00:02:46,919
IS JUST FORGET ABOUT
THE WHOLE THING.

71
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,670
YOU MEAN, NO SEX?

72
00:02:50,580 --> 00:02:51,880
I WOULD NEVER MEAN THAT.

73
00:02:53,460 --> 00:02:54,499
NO. NO, HONEY,

74
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:55,619
IT'LL HAPPEN WHEN IT HAPPENS.

75
00:02:55,620 --> 00:02:56,669
HOW ABOUT THIS?

76
00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:59,959
WE SHOULDN'T EVEN MENTION THE WORD
BABY FOR LIKE THE NEXT MONTH.

77
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:00,999
OKAY.

78
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,039
BUT FIRST,

79
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:03,119
I HAVE TO GET IT ALL
OUT OF MY SYSTEM.

80
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,419
OKAY.

81
00:03:04,420 --> 00:03:06,039
(clears throat) BABY, BABY, BABY.
BABY, BABY, BABY.

82
00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:07,789
(repeatedly shouts
rapidly) BABY!

83
00:03:07,790 --> 00:03:08,829
DONE.

84
00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:09,879
BABY!

85
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:10,880
HMM.

86
00:03:10,881 --> 00:03:12,580
SORRY, THERE WAS JUST
ONE MORE LEFT IN THERE.

87
00:03:13,830 --> 00:03:14,879
(clears throat)

88
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,249
OKAY, GOOD, GOOD. NOW,
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

89
00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:17,829
IS COME UP WITH SOMETHING
TO DISTRACT YOU.

90
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:19,329
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,
SOMETHING CALMING.

91
00:03:19,330 --> 00:03:20,379
SOMETHING RELAXING.

92
00:03:20,380 --> 00:03:22,579
WELL, HOW ABOUT WE FOCUS
ALL OF OUR ENERGIES

93
00:03:22,580 --> 00:03:24,079
ON KEEPING MY NEPHEW
FROM JOINING THE NAVY.

94
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,829
I MEAN, THAT CAN'T HAPPEN.

95
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:28,039
HONEY, YOU SAY THAT LIKE JOINING
THE NAVY'S A BAD THING.

96
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,459
IT IS...

97
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:30,789
FOR THE NAVY!

98
00:03:30,790 --> 00:03:31,829
I MEAN,

99
00:03:31,830 --> 00:03:34,789
CAN YOU IMAGINE IF RYDER TRIED TO DO THE
STUFF THEY DO IN THOSE NAVY COMMERCIALS,

100
00:03:34,790 --> 00:03:36,619
HE'D BE STEERING
JETS INTO THE OCEAN

101
00:03:36,620 --> 00:03:38,249
AND CAPSIZING BATTLESHIPS AND...
(gasps)

102
00:03:38,250 --> 00:03:40,249
JOE, ALL THOSE
PEOPLE IN SAN DIEGO.

103
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:43,040
I MEAN, THEY'LL
BE SITTING DUCKS.

104
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,329
HONEY, LOOK, MY COUSIN NUNZIO
WENT INTO THE AIRFORCE.

105
00:03:46,330 --> 00:03:48,379
ALL RIGHT, HE WASHED OUT OF
BASIC TRAINING AFTER ONE MONTH.

106
00:03:48,380 --> 00:03:51,169
THERE IS NO WAY RYDER IS GONNA
MAKE IT THROUGH NAVY BOOTCAMP.

107
00:03:51,170 --> 00:03:52,879
YEAH, BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT.

108
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,250
WELL, HE'S ABOUT TO FIND OUT.

109
00:03:57,540 --> 00:03:58,829
STOP!

110
00:03:58,830 --> 00:04:00,459
QUIT YOUR SNOOZE AND
GRAB YOUR SHOES.

111
00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:02,959
JOE, WHAT THE HELL?
IT'S FIVE A.M.

112
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:03,830
THAT'S RIGHT, RECRUIT.

113
00:04:03,831 --> 00:04:05,209
WELCOME TO LONGO BOOTCAMP.

114
00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:07,079
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, IF YOU
CAN SURVIVE A WEEK WITH ME,

115
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,119
MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE WHAT
THE NAVY CAN DISH OUT.

116
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:10,169
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, FINE.

117
00:04:10,170 --> 00:04:12,619
WHATEVER, JUST... WAKE
ME UP IN TEN MINUTES.

118
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:13,959
YEAH.

119
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:14,999
SURE, OKAY.

120
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,789
TEN MINUTES WORKS. YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE, UM...

121
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,380
THE NAVY'S FAMOUS FOR
ITS SNOOZE BUTTON.

122
00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:21,540
AH!

123
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,170
MAN OVERBOARD.

124
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,120
- HEY.
- HEY.

125
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,459
THE "NEEDLE EXCHANGE"?

126
00:04:31,460 --> 00:04:33,789
ISN'T THAT THE KNITTING
PLACE ON HIGH STREET?

127
00:04:33,790 --> 00:04:36,079
YEAH, MY FRIEND BETH HAS
BEEN TRYING TO GET ME

128
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,619
TO JOIN HER KNITTING CLASS FOR
YEARS NOW, SO I FINALLY DID.

129
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:39,829
LOOK WHAT I MADE.

130
00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:41,289
VERY NICE.

131
00:04:41,290 --> 00:04:43,329
WHAT IS IT?

132
00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:44,379
IT'S A BEDSPREAD.

133
00:04:44,380 --> 00:04:45,710
FOR AN ELF?

134
00:04:46,710 --> 00:04:48,249
MY FINGERS GOT TIRED.

135
00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:50,879
SO, WHY'D YOU LET YOUR FRIEND
BETH TALK YOU INTO KNITTING NOW?

136
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,829
OH, WELL, JOE SUGGESTED I DO
SOMETHING TO TAKE MY MIND

137
00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:56,500
OFF THE SUBJECT WE
AGREED NOT TO MENTION.

138
00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:59,920
THAT JOE SECRETLY EATS
CANDY BARS IN THE GARAGE?

139
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:02,329
NO, I'M TALKING
ABOUT THE "B" WORD.

140
00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:03,709
BABIES?

141
00:05:03,710 --> 00:05:06,830
SHH, DO NOT UTTER
THE FORBIDDEN WORD.

142
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:08,880
- WHOO!
- HEY, HON.

143
00:05:08,881 --> 00:05:10,169
I THOUGHT RYDER WAS WITH YOU.

144
00:05:10,170 --> 00:05:11,619
YEAH, WE JUST RAN THREE MILES.

145
00:05:11,620 --> 00:05:13,789
WELL, ACTUALLY I
RAN THREE MILES.

146
00:05:13,790 --> 00:05:16,879
HE RAN ONE, CRAWLED
ONE, AND UM...

147
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,080
HE CRIED ONE.

148
00:05:19,290 --> 00:05:20,539
SO WHERE IS HE?

149
00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:23,120
RIGHT NOW? HE'S DOWN THE BLOCK PUKING
IN THE HENDERSON'S BIRD FOUNTAIN.

150
00:05:24,710 --> 00:05:25,920
IT'S BEEN A GOOD DAY.

151
00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,499
OH, KNITTING I SEE.

152
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:31,330
SO... OKAY, SO YOU FOUND SOMETHING
TO KEEP YOUR MIND OFF OF UM...

153
00:05:32,330 --> 00:05:33,829
- BABIES.
- LENNOX!

154
00:05:33,830 --> 00:05:35,580
I'M SORRY, IT JUST CAME OUT.

155
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,619
HEY, THERE HE IS!

156
00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:39,709
HOW'D YOU LIKE THAT RUN?

157
00:05:39,710 --> 00:05:41,330
IT WAS REFRESHING. (grunts)

158
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,079
NOW, COME ON.

159
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,079
LET'S GO, I WANT YOU TO PUT
YOUR SWIMSUIT ON, ALL RIGHT?

160
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,919
'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA BE HEADING
OUT INTO THE GARAGE.

161
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,879
AND THEN WE'RE GONNA GO TO
THE DRIVEWAY AND I'M GONNA

162
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:51,379
HOSE YOU DOWN WHILE
YOU DO SOME BURPEES.

163
00:05:51,380 --> 00:05:52,380
WHY?

164
00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:54,750
THERE'S NO "WHY"
IN LONG BOOTCAMP.

165
00:05:55,710 --> 00:05:56,749
WHY?

166
00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:58,880
HEY! DON'T ASK ME WHY, RECRUIT!
JUST DO IT.

167
00:06:01,210 --> 00:06:02,709
BUT IT'S 50 DEGREES OUTSIDE.

168
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,079
IS THAT A LITTLE
TOO COLD FOR YOU?

169
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,669
OKAY. 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF THAT'S THE CASE,

170
00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:09,289
YOU CAN JUST RING THE CHICKEN AND WE'LL
BE ALL DONE WITH THIS WHOLE EXPERIMENT.

171
00:06:09,290 --> 00:06:10,789
OKAY? REALLY. GO AHEAD.

172
00:06:10,790 --> 00:06:12,119
COME ON, BOY.

173
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,709
HIT THAT QUITTIN' CHICKEN.
I KNOW YOU WANNA DO IT.

174
00:06:13,710 --> 00:06:14,710
LET'S GO.

175
00:06:15,830 --> 00:06:17,209
NO.

176
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,170
I'M NOT GONNA TOUCH
THE CHICKEN, JOE.

177
00:06:21,420 --> 00:06:22,620
PUTTING ON MY SWIMSUIT.

178
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,749
JOE, THIS IS CRUEL AND
UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT.

179
00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:30,789
YOU'RE KILLING HIM.

180
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:32,330
THANK YOU.

181
00:06:40,170 --> 00:06:42,579
OUT OF BED OR I BREAK YOUR HEAD!

182
00:06:42,580 --> 00:06:44,329
I CAN'T MOVE!

183
00:06:44,330 --> 00:06:45,829
IT EVEN HURTS TO THINK.

184
00:06:45,830 --> 00:06:47,999
CAN WE MAYBE SKIP TODAY

185
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,709
AND JUST DO MORE
BOOTCAMP STUFF TOMORROW.

186
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,499
YEAH, BECAUSE... THE NAVY.

187
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:54,669
I MEAN, IT'S NOT JUST A
JOB, IT'S AN ADVENTURE...

188
00:06:54,670 --> 00:06:56,580
EVERY OTHER DAY.

189
00:06:57,580 --> 00:06:59,539
SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.

190
00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:00,579
YEAH.

191
00:07:00,580 --> 00:07:02,119
YEAH, I THINK YOU'RE
ON TO SOMETHING.

192
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,669
'CAUSE WE SHOULD ONLY FIGHT OUR
WARS ON ODD-NUMBERED DAYS.

193
00:07:04,670 --> 00:07:07,619
OBVIOUSLY, WE JUST HAVE TO TEXT OUR ENEMY,
SO WE KNOW WHICH DAY'S THEY SLEEP IN ON

194
00:07:07,620 --> 00:07:08,669
AND ALL THAT STUFF.

195
00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:10,289
ON YOUR FEET, RECRUIT!

196
00:07:10,290 --> 00:07:11,419
(groans) I CAN'T!

197
00:07:11,420 --> 00:07:13,420
I DON'T THINK I
HAVE FEET ANYMORE.

198
00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:16,459
IT'S ALL RIGHT, BUDDY.

199
00:07:16,460 --> 00:07:18,039
YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M PROUD OF
YOU FOR AT LEAST TRYING.

200
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:21,539
I MEAN, NOT A LOT OF GUYS ARE CUT
OUT TO BE IN THE NAVY. YOU KNOW?

201
00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:23,669
SO YOU WASHED OUT ON
THIS ONE, IT'S OKAY.

202
00:07:23,670 --> 00:07:24,670
YOU KNOW WHAT?

203
00:07:24,671 --> 00:07:26,999
YOU'RE GONNA FIGURE OUT WHAT
YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE,

204
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,039
AND I'M GONNA BE HERE FOR YOU.

205
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:31,040
SLEEP IN, HAVE A GREAT
REST OF YOUR MORNING.

206
00:07:34,540 --> 00:07:36,499
WASHED OUT?

207
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,289
WHO'S WASHED OUT?

208
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:39,540
(groans) OH, GOD.

209
00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:42,669
TELL ME AGAIN HOW YOU
CRUSHED HIS SPIRIT.

210
00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,709
IT RELAXES ME.

211
00:07:44,710 --> 00:07:47,619
WELL, HONEY, I TOOK HIM FOR A
LITTLE RIDE ON THE PAIN TRAIN.

212
00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:49,959
ALL RIGHT? RIGHT NOW, RYDER
CAN'T EVEN STAND UP.

213
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,209
THANK YOU, JOE LONGO.

214
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:53,379
YOU'RE A GOOD MAN.

215
00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:55,079
HEY, KEEPING THAT
KID OUT OF THE NAVY

216
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,919
SAYS THAT I'M NOT JUST
A GOOD MAN, HONEY.

217
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,380
I'M A GOOD AMERICAN.

218
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:01,619
LET'S GO, LONGO!

219
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:02,920
WHAT'S ON TODAY'S TORTURE MENU?

220
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,209
YOU'RE NOT QUITTING?

221
00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:06,249
NOPE.

222
00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:07,499
YOU KNOW, IT FINALLY HIT ME.

223
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,579
YOU'RE PUSHING ME SO HARD

224
00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:09,789
BECAUSE YOU CARE.

225
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,459
SO I'M GONNA GET THROUGH THIS.

226
00:08:11,460 --> 00:08:13,460
I'M GONNA GET THROUGH
THIS FOR YOU, JOE.

227
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,079
YOUR LITTLE PLAN BACKFIRED.

228
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,750
I'M OFFICIALLY UN-THANKING YOU.

229
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,669
IT'S NOT OVER YET.

230
00:08:20,670 --> 00:08:21,879
ALL RIGHT, TOUGH GUY.

231
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,119
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

232
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:24,329
HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO;

233
00:08:24,330 --> 00:08:25,919
WE'RE GONNA GO OUT
INTO THE DRIVEWAY,

234
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,079
YOU'RE GONNA HOLD THESE JUGS
OUT TO YOUR SIDES LIKE THIS

235
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,119
UNTIL I SAY STOP.

236
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,879
- EASY.
- YEAH?

237
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,419
SAY THAT WHEN THEY'RE
FILLED UP WITH WATER.

238
00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:33,619
LET'S GO! (chuckles)

239
00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:34,620
YEAH.

240
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:42,250
OW!

241
00:08:46,710 --> 00:08:47,959
OH, WHAT YOU GOT THERE?

242
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,079
WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU... WHY
AREN'T YOU IN SCHOOL?

243
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:51,709
IT'S SATURDAY.

244
00:08:51,710 --> 00:08:54,579
(scoffs) THAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?

245
00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:57,459
YOU KNOW, THOSE LOOK
AMAZINGLY LIKE CLOTHES

246
00:08:57,460 --> 00:08:59,329
FOR ONE OF THOSE
CUTE LITTLE THINGS

247
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,539
WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO TALK ABOUT.

248
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,579
WHAT? NO!

249
00:09:02,580 --> 00:09:04,419
THAT WOULD BE CRAZY

250
00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:08,459
TO BUY CLOTHES LIKE THESE
WHEN I'M NOT EVEN PREGNANT.

251
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:11,459
OH, WAIT SO YOU KNITTED THOSE
IN YOUR KNITTING CLASS?

252
00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:13,749
WOW, YOU'RE REALLY GOOD.

253
00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:15,750
YES, I AM. (giggles)

254
00:09:16,830 --> 00:09:18,289
OH! TEACH ME.

255
00:09:18,290 --> 00:09:19,459
NO, I WON'T.

256
00:09:19,460 --> 00:09:20,669
WAIT, WHAT? WHY NOT?

257
00:09:20,670 --> 00:09:22,119
BECAUSE I'M VERY BUSY.

258
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,539
WELL, PLEASE!

259
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:24,789
BUT YOU'RE SO GOOD AT THIS.

260
00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:26,499
COME ON, SHARE YOUR KNOWLEDGE.

261
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:27,539
(sighs)

262
00:09:27,540 --> 00:09:29,289
OKAY, UM... YEAH, SURE.

263
00:09:29,290 --> 00:09:31,419
I GUESS I COULD SQUEEZE
IN A QUICK LESSON,

264
00:09:31,420 --> 00:09:33,379
TEACH YOU SOME BASICS.

265
00:09:33,380 --> 00:09:36,419
SO, THESE ARE YOUR
KNITTING NEEDLES.

266
00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:38,919
WE CALL THEM NEEDLES.

267
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:40,709
YEAH, UM...

268
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:43,419
SO YOU WANT TO FEEL
THEM, YOU KNOW, LIKE...

269
00:09:43,420 --> 00:09:47,579
LIKE, RELAX YOUR WRISTS, AND JUST...
YEAH, LIKE THIS.

270
00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:48,619
LIKE...

271
00:09:48,620 --> 00:09:50,619
LIKE THIS?

272
00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:51,420
GOOD! GOOD!

273
00:09:51,421 --> 00:09:53,539
YOU KNOW, LIKE
YOU'RE EATING PASTA.

274
00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:54,579
AHH!

275
00:09:54,580 --> 00:09:55,749
UH-HUH.

276
00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:57,619
YEAH! LOOK AT YOU,
YOU'RE A NATURAL.

277
00:09:57,620 --> 00:09:59,119
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S
ENOUGH FOR ONE DAY.

278
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,169
WAIT, WHAT?

279
00:10:00,170 --> 00:10:01,459
WHY DON'T I GET TO
TRY IT WITH YARN?

280
00:10:01,460 --> 00:10:03,499
WHOA, SLOW DOWN SPEEDRACER.

281
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,959
OKAY, WE DON'T GET TO
YARN FOR A LONG TIME.

282
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,079
AUNT MEL, YOU HAVE SO
MUCH YARN RIGHT HERE.

283
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,790
NO. NO, NO, NO. NO, DON'T!

284
00:10:10,790 --> 00:10:14,619
WOW! LOOK AT
EVERYTHING YOU CAN DO.

285
00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:15,879
- MM-HMM.
- OH!

286
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,710
YOU CAN EVEN KNIT...

287
00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:20,420
LEATHER.

288
00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:23,210
WELL, I AM THE
FIRST IN MY CLASS.

289
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,289
OKAY, LOOK, WHEN I GOT
TO THE KNITTING CLASS,

290
00:10:27,290 --> 00:10:28,919
IT WAS RIGHT NEXT
DOOR TO ONE OF THESE

291
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,119
"B" WORD STORES.

292
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:32,579
AND SO, I WENT INSIDE
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW...

293
00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:34,329
THE CLOTHES ARE ADORABLE,

294
00:10:34,330 --> 00:10:37,710
AND BECAUSE I WANT A
"B" WORD, DAMMIT!

295
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,079
WHY ARE YOU HIDING ALL THIS?

296
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:43,379
BECAUSE... I DON'T
WANT JOE TO KNOW.

297
00:10:43,380 --> 00:10:44,499
YOU KNOW, WE HAD AN AGREEMENT

298
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:45,919
AND HE'LL JUST THINK I'M CRAZY.

299
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,539
AUNT MEL, NOBODY'S GONNA
THINK THAT YOU'VE GONE CRAZY

300
00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:50,329
JUST BECAUSE YOU BOUGHT
A FEW BABY THINGS

301
00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:51,830
TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER.

302
00:10:58,330 --> 00:10:59,330
(toy squeaks)

303
00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:11,499
("Rock-A-Bye-Baby" plays)

304
00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:15,079
HOW MUCH BABY STUFF DID YOU BUY?

305
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:16,619
HEY, I DON'T HAVE
A PROBLEM, OKAY?

306
00:11:16,620 --> 00:11:17,829
I CAN STOP WHENEVER I WANT.

307
00:11:17,830 --> 00:11:21,329
OKAY, SO WE CAN RETURN ALL THIS?

308
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:23,329
YES. WELL, BUT NOT THIS.

309
00:11:23,330 --> 00:11:26,209
OR THIS, OR THIS...
OH, WHO AM I KIDDING?

310
00:11:26,210 --> 00:11:27,380
I'M KEEPING IT ALL!

311
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,669
JOE, ISN'T RYDER SUPPOSED
TO BE ON THE FRONT PORCH,

312
00:11:32,670 --> 00:11:34,039
HOLDING UP THOSE WATER JUGS?

313
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,040
HE'S NOT?

314
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,419
HA HA! HE WENT AWOL.

315
00:11:37,420 --> 00:11:38,749
I KNEW I COULD BREAK HIM.

316
00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:40,499
I KNEW HE COULDN'T HANDLE IT, HONEY.
I KNEW IT. LISTEN,

317
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,039
I DON'T WANT YOU TO
TAKE OFFENSE TO THIS,

318
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:45,379
BUT, UM... YOUR NEPHEW?
HE'S A LITTLE SOFT.

319
00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:47,210
(chuckles) OH, WHO AM I KIDDING?
HE'S A LOT SOFT.

320
00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:50,669
I TELL YOU, HE'S LIKE A
BIG BOWL FULL OF PUDDING.

321
00:11:50,670 --> 00:11:52,079
YOU KNOW? (chuckles)

322
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,829
I MEAN, I SHOULDN'T
MAKE FUN, YOU KNOW?

323
00:11:53,830 --> 00:11:56,169
HONESTLY, I MEAN HE'S PROBABLY CURLED
UP SOMEWHERE CRYING RIGHT NOW.

324
00:11:56,170 --> 00:11:57,959
UM, JOE?

325
00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,669
DOES THAT LOOK BROKEN TO YOU?

326
00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:01,169
DOES WHAT LOOK...

327
00:12:01,170 --> 00:12:02,380
HOLY CRAP.

328
00:12:08,250 --> 00:12:09,419
OKAY.

329
00:12:09,420 --> 00:12:11,919
ALL RIGHT, SO HE'S A LITTLE
STRONGER THAN I THOUGHT.

330
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,419
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY?

331
00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:15,619
BOOTCAMP IS NOT JUST ABOUT USING
THESE MUSCLES, ALL RIGHT?

332
00:12:15,620 --> 00:12:17,750
IT'S ALSO ABOUT USING THE
MOST IMPORTANT MUSCLE.

333
00:12:18,750 --> 00:12:20,750
HIS WEINER?

334
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,289
NO! NO, THE MUSCLE IN HERE.

335
00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:26,329
HIS BRAIN.

336
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:28,499
DO IT, JOE.

337
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,250
BREAK HIS BRAIN.

338
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,749
OKAY, AUNT MEL, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GOING TO STOP BUYING BABY STUFF.

339
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:42,919
YES, BUT THIS WAS
HANDCRAFTED BY THE AMISH.

340
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:47,419
THE AMISH? AND YOU DIDN'T
PICK ONE UP FOR ME?

341
00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:49,329
HA HA HA, LOOK JOE
IS BUSY WITH RYDER,

342
00:12:49,330 --> 00:12:51,959
SO WE HAVE A VERY SHORT WINDOW TO GET
THIS IN TO THE HOUSE AND HIDDEN.

343
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,039
OKAY, AUNT MEL. AUNT MEL,

344
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,249
LISTEN TO THE WORDS I'M SAYING:

345
00:12:55,250 --> 00:13:00,709
YOU DON'T HAVE A BABY.

346
00:13:00,710 --> 00:13:02,249
I KNOW.

347
00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:04,879
THAT'S WHY WE HAVE
TO HIDE THE BOX.

348
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,079
COME ON, GIVE ME A HAND.

349
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,670
LET'S GO, PULL IT. OH!

350
00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:11,039
COME ON, LET'S DO IT.

351
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,749
JOE, IT'S MIDNIGHT,

352
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:13,879
I'M EXHAUSTED.

353
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,209
YOU'VE BEEN WORKING
ME SINCE 5 A.M.

354
00:13:15,210 --> 00:13:16,249
I KNOW, I KNOW.

355
00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:17,999
BUT DON'T WORRY, THIS IS
GONNA BE A PIECE OF CAKE

356
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,039
'CAUSE ALL YOU HAVE TO DO

357
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,329
IS TURN THIS INTO THIS,

358
00:13:22,330 --> 00:13:24,209
AN ORIGAMI CRANE.

359
00:13:24,210 --> 00:13:25,249
OKAY.

360
00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:26,289
1,000 TIMES.

361
00:13:26,290 --> 00:13:27,829
- WHAT?
- YEP.

362
00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:29,499
ALL RIGHT, AND THEY ALL
HAVE TO BE IDENTICAL.

363
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:31,500
AND YOU HAVE TO GET
IT ALL DONE BY DAWN.

364
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,499
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

365
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:35,919
OH, OKAY.

366
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:37,500
WHY DON'T WE GO TELL THAT
TO THE QUITTIN' CHICKEN?

367
00:13:40,330 --> 00:13:41,330
NO.

368
00:13:43,420 --> 00:13:44,459
GOOD.

369
00:13:44,460 --> 00:13:46,879
WHOA, LOOK AT THE TIME, MAN.

370
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:47,880
I GOTTA GET TO BED.

371
00:13:52,380 --> 00:13:56,169
SO THE CRANE TEST IS HOW THE JAPANESE WEED
OUT APPLICANTS FOR THEIR SPACE PROGRAM.

372
00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:58,749
FOLDING A THOUSAND OF
THESE THINGS ON NO SLEEP,

373
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:02,119
REQUIRES ALMOST A
ZEN-LIKE CONCENTRATION.

374
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,329
OH, I LIKE IT.

375
00:14:03,330 --> 00:14:05,209
RYDER CAN'T EVEN
FOLD HIS T-SHIRTS.

376
00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:07,879
YEAH. SO, LOOK I WANT
YOU TO PREPARE YOURSELF

377
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,709
TO SEE A BROKEN MAN WHEN
YOU GO DOWNSTAIRS, OKAY?

378
00:14:09,710 --> 00:14:12,329
AND HONEY, I'M JUST
WARNING YOU NOW,

379
00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:14,080
IT'S NOT GONNA BE PRETTY.

380
00:14:15,290 --> 00:14:17,709
YOU'RE RIGHT, JOE.
IT'S NOT PRETTY.

381
00:14:17,710 --> 00:14:19,710
IT'S FRICKIN' BEAUTIFUL!

382
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,709
RYDER DID ALL THIS?

383
00:14:25,710 --> 00:14:26,959
OVERNIGHT?

384
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,960
ON NO SLEEP?

385
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:31,120
THEY'RE...

386
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,120
THEY'RE PERFECT.

387
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,079
HEY.

388
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:43,379
"SORRY, JOE. THERE
ARE ONLY 999 CRANES.

389
00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:46,459
"I HAD TO SNEEZE AND
DIDN'T HAVE A TISSUE.

390
00:14:46,460 --> 00:14:50,120
"SINCERELY, RYDER SCANLON,
UNITED STATES NAVY, FUTURE."

391
00:14:51,460 --> 00:14:52,749
I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS.

392
00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:56,289
I THOUGHT FOR SURE THAT
THIS WOULD BREAK HIM.

393
00:14:56,290 --> 00:14:59,619
BUT IT... IT LOOKS LIKE
HE'S GOT THE BRAINS,

394
00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:01,619
THE BRAWN, AND THE SPIRIT.

395
00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:04,079
WELL, YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO
COME UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE.

396
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:05,289
I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE.

397
00:15:05,290 --> 00:15:06,329
ARE YOU SAYING...?

398
00:15:06,330 --> 00:15:07,959
YEAH.

399
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,960
HE DID IT.

400
00:15:11,750 --> 00:15:13,460
THAT MAGNIFICENT
BASTARD BROKE ME.

401
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,459
HE REALLY SURPRISED ME, MEL.

402
00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:22,289
I MEAN, MAYBE RYDER REALLY
DOES HAVE THE RIGHT STUFF.

403
00:15:22,290 --> 00:15:23,789
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

404
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,379
MY LITTLE NEPHEW IS NOT
JOINING THE NAVY, OKAY?

405
00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:26,709
HE'S STILL A LITTLE BOY.

406
00:15:26,710 --> 00:15:30,079
HE'S THE THIRD TALLEST
BUILDING IN TOLEDO.

407
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,669
OKAY, FINE, HE'S A
VERY LARGE LITTLE BOY.

408
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:34,249
BUT SINCE YOU FAILED... FAILED!

409
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:35,539
- WAIT!
- JOSEPH LONGO,

410
00:15:35,540 --> 00:15:37,169
IT IS MY TURN.

411
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,999
REALLY? WHAT COULD YOU DO TO HIM
THAT I HAVEN'T ALREADY TRIED?

412
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,079
OH, I'M GONNA CRY.

413
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,209
I'M GONNA CRY SO HARD,

414
00:15:42,210 --> 00:15:43,669
HE IS GONNA FEEL SO GUILTY

415
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:45,119
HE IS NEVER GONNA LEAVE
THIS HOUSE AGAIN,

416
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:46,249
EVER.

417
00:15:46,250 --> 00:15:48,789
MEL, THAT'S LIKE
EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL.

418
00:15:48,790 --> 00:15:52,499
FINE, JOE. THEN WE'LL JUST LET
HIM GO OFF AND JOIN THE NAVY

419
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,079
AND I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO ENJOY
MYSELF FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AGAIN.

420
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,079
OKAY, HONEY, I'M SORRY.
GO TRY IT, GO AHEAD.

421
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:58,040
I'M GOOD, AREN'T I?

422
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,120
GLAD SHE'S ON MY SIDE.

423
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,170
MOST OF THE TIME.

424
00:16:14,670 --> 00:16:17,119
(sobbing)

425
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,250
(cries) RYDER.

426
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,419
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

427
00:16:22,420 --> 00:16:24,999
YEAH, SOMEBODY HID THIS
CRIB IN MY CLOSET.

428
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,379
YEAH, THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ME.

429
00:16:28,380 --> 00:16:31,289
OH, HEY. THE INSTRUCTIONS.

430
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,709
COULD HAVE USED THOSE.

431
00:16:33,710 --> 00:16:35,039
UH, LISTEN, RYDER,

432
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:38,619
I JUST CAME UP HERE TO TALK TO
YOU ABOUT THIS WHOLE NAVY THING.

433
00:16:38,620 --> 00:16:40,209
OH, YEAH, ABOUT THAT...

434
00:16:40,210 --> 00:16:41,669
YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING,

435
00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:44,119
AFTER I SHIP OUT, YOU GUYS CAN
USE THIS ROOM AS A NURSERY.

436
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,919
YOU KNOW, WHEN THE BABY COMES.

437
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,789
IT'S LIKE, THE OLD KID MOVES
OUT, THE NEW KID MOVES IN.

438
00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:50,619
CIRCLE OF LIFE.

439
00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:53,169
OH, RYDER.

440
00:16:53,170 --> 00:16:55,789
OH, NO.

441
00:16:55,790 --> 00:16:57,169
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

442
00:16:57,170 --> 00:16:58,459
THAT CRYING ACT'S
NOT GONNA WORK.

443
00:16:58,460 --> 00:17:00,959
I HELD WATER JUGS
UP FOR FIVE HOURS

444
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:05,079
AND I JUST SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT FOLDING
FREAKING JAPANESE ASTRONAUT CRANES.

445
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,209
TEARS ARE NOT GONNA
CHANGE MY MIND.

446
00:17:07,210 --> 00:17:08,579
(sighs)

447
00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:10,999
I'M NOT CRYING TO
CHANGE YOUR MIND NOW.

448
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:16,619
I'M CRYING BECAUSE YOU'VE
GROWN INTO A REAL MAN.

449
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:19,039
YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD
JOIN THE NAVY.

450
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:22,169
AND THE NAVY WOULD BE
LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.

451
00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:26,120
YOU'RE GONNA LOOK SO HANDSOME
IN YOUR POPEYE SUIT.

452
00:17:28,790 --> 00:17:30,790
SCRUNCH DOWN, I CAN'T REACH YOU.

453
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:35,829
SO, MAYBE THIS NAVY
THING IS A GREAT IDEA.

454
00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:37,289
RYDER'S MATURED.

455
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:38,579
HE'S A MAN NOW.

456
00:17:38,580 --> 00:17:41,959
HE'S GOT THE RIGHT STUFF.

457
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,999
HOW IS THAT DIFFERENT
FROM WHAT I SAID EARLIER?

458
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,169
IT'S ENTIRELY DIFFERENT.

459
00:17:47,170 --> 00:17:49,169
NOW I AM SAYING IT.

460
00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:51,669
THANKS FOR CLEARING THAT UP.

461
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:56,329
("Rock-A-Bye-Baby" plays)

462
00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:58,039
WHAT IS THAT?

463
00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,119
OH, THAT'S MY PHONE.

464
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,290
THAT'S MY PHONE
AND NOTHING MORE.

465
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:06,960
SHOULDN'T YOU ANSWER IT?

466
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,289
NOPE.

467
00:18:09,290 --> 00:18:12,379
THAT'S NOT YOUR PHONE. NO.

468
00:18:12,380 --> 00:18:14,039
THAT'S NOT YOUR PHONE,
THAT'S COMING FROM

469
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,079
SOMEWHERE OVER HERE
NEAR THE WINDOW...

470
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:16,420
NO!

471
00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:20,879
WOW, HONEY, I'M SO
GLAD YOU STOPPED ME

472
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,329
BECAUSE NOW I'M NOT
THE LEAST BIT CURIOUS

473
00:18:22,330 --> 00:18:23,620
AS TO WHAT'S IN
THIS WINDOW SEAT.

474
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,960
- WHAT?
- ("Rock-A-Bye-Baby" plays)

475
00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:33,119
ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME?

476
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:36,079
(inhales deeply) YES.

477
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,999
THESE, UM, BABY THINGS...

478
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,419
I'M DONATING THEM TO THE POOR

479
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,000
AND I WANTED TO SURPRISE THEM.

480
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,959
ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TELL
ME THAT'S THE TRUTH?

481
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:52,249
LOOK, THERE'S A PERFECTLY GOOD REASON
WHY I BOUGHT ALL THIS STUFF, OKAY?

482
00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:54,289
I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D FIND OUT.

483
00:18:54,290 --> 00:18:55,879
MEL...

484
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:56,959
LOOK, I KNOW. I KNOW.

485
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,119
I KNOW WE AGREED TO PUT
BABIES ON THE BACKBURNER,

486
00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:00,999
WHICH SOUNDS VERY
DANGEROUS, BY THE WAY,

487
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,459
BUT I DON'T WANT TO.

488
00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:05,999
AND I COULDN'T, YOU KNOW?

489
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,959
I WANT TO KEEP THINKING
ABOUT BABIES, JOE.

490
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:12,829
THAT'S WHY I COULDN'T STOP
BUYING ALL THIS BABY STUFF.

491
00:19:12,830 --> 00:19:14,749
I GET IT.

492
00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:16,169
YOU DO?

493
00:19:16,170 --> 00:19:18,749
YES, OF COURSE I DO.

494
00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:20,919
LOOK, WHEN I LOST
MY JOB AT SCANLON,

495
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,169
I KEPT BUYING NECKTIES.

496
00:19:23,170 --> 00:19:24,829
I BOUGHT A WHOLE BUNCH OF
THEM, LIKE THREE DOZEN.

497
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,039
THE REALLY NICE ONES, THE SILK ONES.
I DON'T KNOW WHY.

498
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,459
I GUESS I JUST, YOU KNOW,
WANTED TO FEEL LIKE I WAS

499
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,080
STILL IN THE GAME.

500
00:19:32,670 --> 00:19:33,919
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

501
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,459
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO JUDGE ME.

502
00:19:35,460 --> 00:19:36,919
WHY WOULD I JUDGE YOU

503
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,249
FOR BUYING A BUNCH OF BABY TOYS

504
00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:39,790
AND SMUGGLING THEM
INTO THE HOUSE?

505
00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:43,080
I UNDERSTAND.

506
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:45,829
DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY FAVORITE?

507
00:19:45,830 --> 00:19:47,830
ABSOLUTELY.

508
00:19:48,790 --> 00:19:50,249
IT'S A BABY BUSINESS SUIT.

509
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:51,789
OH!

510
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:54,119
WHAT? WITH A BRIEFCASE
AND EVERYTHING?

511
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:55,289
- IT'S A RATTLE.
- IT'S A...

512
00:19:55,290 --> 00:19:56,619
- (rattles)
- HEY!

513
00:19:56,620 --> 00:19:58,749
OH, THIS IS GONNA BE
PERFECT FOR MY KID.

514
00:19:58,750 --> 00:19:59,789
I MEAN, OUR KID.

515
00:19:59,790 --> 00:20:00,919
I'M TELLING YOU
SOMETHING, HONEY,

516
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,829
HE'S GONNA BE A CEO
BY THE TIME HE'S 12.

517
00:20:02,830 --> 00:20:05,710
MMM. YES, SHE WILL.

518
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:17,879
I CAN'T BELIEVE RYDER'S ACTUALLY
LEAVING TO JOIN THE NAVY.

519
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:18,919
YOU KNOW,

520
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,209
YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE SOME OF HIS
FAVORITE FOOD TO TAKE WITH HIM!

521
00:20:21,210 --> 00:20:23,829
I KNOW, EXCEPT I THINK THE NAVY
ONLY LETS YOU BRING LASAGNA

522
00:20:23,830 --> 00:20:25,460
IF YOU HAVE ENOUGH
FOR EVERYBODY.

523
00:20:27,290 --> 00:20:29,079
HEY, HEY. COME ON. BUCK UP, NOW.

524
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,879
ALL RIGHT? LOOK, NO GUY
LIKES TO SEE CRYING

525
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,670
WHEN HE'S ABOUT TO START A
NEW CHAPTER IN HIS LIFE.

526
00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:40,789
ALL RIGHT. WELL,
THIS IS IT, HUH?

527
00:20:40,790 --> 00:20:42,919
ANCHORS AWAY.

528
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,749
WELL, I'LL DRIVE HIM TO
THE RECRUITING STATION.

529
00:20:45,750 --> 00:20:48,289
THAT WAY AUNT MEL WON'T
EMBARRASS AMERICA.

530
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:51,079
NO, NO, I'M FINE. I'M FINE.

531
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,789
WE ARE ALL SO PROUD
OF YOU, RYDER.

532
00:20:52,790 --> 00:20:53,959
RIGHT JOE?

533
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,539
ABSOLUTELY. ABSOLUTELY ARE, MAN.

534
00:20:55,540 --> 00:20:56,829
LOOK, WE DID SOME
GREAT WORK TOGETHER

535
00:20:56,830 --> 00:20:59,249
AND, YOU KNOW... I
THINK YOU'RE READY

536
00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:00,749
BECAUSE... WELL, I
KNOW YOU'RE READY.

537
00:21:00,750 --> 00:21:04,919
BECAUSE... YOU KNOW, IT'S...
IT'S THE...

538
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,960
(cries) GOODBYE.

539
00:21:08,420 --> 00:21:11,829
AW, JOE, NOW YOU
GOT ME ALL UPSET.

540
00:21:11,830 --> 00:21:12,959
HEY, LISTEN, I'LL SEE YOU ALL

541
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,209
IN A COUPLE MONTHS.

542
00:21:14,210 --> 00:21:15,999
THAT'S RIGHT, IT BETTER NOT
BE A COUPLE OF DAYS, BUDDY.

543
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,209
- NO, NO IT WON'T.
- I KNOW IT WON'T.

544
00:21:17,210 --> 00:21:18,249
YEAH.

545
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:19,419
'CAUSE I TAUGHT YOU SO GOOD.

546
00:21:19,420 --> 00:21:20,710
OKAY.

547
00:21:22,210 --> 00:21:23,210
(Lennox and Mel weep)