1 00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:05,879 Mel: LENNOX, 2 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,919 YOU WANT TO DO SOME REALITY TV BINGING WITH ME? 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,379 I WAS THINKING WE'D START WITH THE KARDASHIANS, 4 00:00:09,380 --> 00:00:11,419 INTO NAKED BEVERLY HILLS, INTO PREGNANT GRANDMAS. 5 00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:13,999 AND THEN, CAP IT ALL OFF WITH ADORABLE ANIMAL FRIENDS 6 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,419 SO WE DON'T DWELL ON THE DOWNFALL OF HUMANITY. 7 00:00:15,420 --> 00:00:17,459 AUNT MEL, I CAN'T. OKAY? 8 00:00:17,460 --> 00:00:19,619 I'M TOO BUSY COORDINATING THE NEXT SHOOT FOR THE CASSANDRA MOVIE. 9 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,959 IS EVERYTHING OKAY? YOUR TYPING SOUNDS VERY ANGRY. 10 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,209 (scoffs) WELL, HONESTLY IF YOU MUST KNOW, 11 00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:26,169 WE'RE HALFWAY THROUGH SHOOTING THE MOVIE AND ZANDER IS STILL 12 00:00:26,170 --> 00:00:29,079 DATING THE ACTRESS WHO'S PLAYING A CHARACTER BASED ON ME. 13 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,379 (chuckles) BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, I AM SO OVER IT. 14 00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:33,580 (pounds keys) I DO NOT CARE. 15 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,120 THE MORE YOU SAY IT, THE MORE I BELIEVE YOU. 16 00:00:38,420 --> 00:00:39,749 HEY THERE, I'M BACK. 17 00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:41,119 AND YES, IT WENT GREAT. 18 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,959 WHAT WENT GREAT? 19 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,249 OH, MY, UM, BOOKING AGENT, MORRIS, 20 00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:47,379 SET ME UP ON AN INTERVIEW WITH THE EARLY MORNING TALK SHOW 21 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,669 (deep voice) WAKE UP, TOLEDO! 22 00:00:48,670 --> 00:00:50,539 (normal voice) YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT BECAUSE IT'S ALL CAPS 23 00:00:50,540 --> 00:00:51,790 WITH A LITTLE EXCLAMATION POINT. 24 00:00:52,790 --> 00:00:54,999 ANYWAY, IT WENT REALLY WELL AND I GOT THE JOB. 25 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,039 SO IT TURNS OUT I'M GOING TO BE THEIR NEW LIFESTYLE CORRESPONDENT. 26 00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,919 YOU'RE GOING TO BE ON WAKE UP, TOLEDO!? 27 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,419 NO, NO. HONEY, I'M GOING TO BE ON 28 00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:03,499 (deep voice) WAKE UP, TOLEDO! 29 00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:05,000 THAT'S NOT GONNA GET OLD. 30 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,959 AND BY THAT, I MEAN CONGRATULATIONS. 31 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:10,329 YOU'LL BE FANTASTIC! 32 00:01:10,330 --> 00:01:13,169 AW, THANKS, HONEY. YEAH. LISTEN, HAVE YOU SEEN MY OLD ALARM CLOCK? 33 00:01:13,170 --> 00:01:15,789 THE REALLY LOUD ONE, BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE THERE BY 3:30, 34 00:01:15,790 --> 00:01:17,249 SO I DON'T WANT TO TAKE ANY CHANCES. 35 00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,169 WAIT, 3:30 AM? 36 00:01:19,170 --> 00:01:23,289 YEAH, STRANGELY ENOUGH, THE MORNING SHOW IS SHOT ENTIRELY IN THE MORNING. 37 00:01:23,290 --> 00:01:25,119 ANYWAY, IT GOES ON LIVE AT FIVE. 38 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,419 THAT'S NOT GONNA BE A PROBLEM, IS IT? 39 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,459 WELL, (scoffs) 40 00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:28,709 OF COURSE NOT. 41 00:01:28,710 --> 00:01:31,540 YOU KNOW, WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU IS GOOD FOR ME. 42 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,209 (alarm ringing) 43 00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:36,329 OH, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE! SAVE THE VALUABLES! 44 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:38,379 THE HOUSE IS NOT ON FIRE, HONEY. 45 00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:39,419 (alarm stops) 46 00:01:39,420 --> 00:01:40,999 IT'S MY FIRST DAY AT WORK. 47 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,959 OH. OH, THANK GOD. 48 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,040 OKAY. 49 00:01:45,290 --> 00:01:48,080 THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IN THIS HOUSE IS YOUR SHOES? 50 00:01:49,170 --> 00:01:51,790 WELL, I WAS ALSO GOING TO SAVE OUR SEX TAPE. 51 00:01:52,790 --> 00:01:54,749 IT'S OKAY, SWEETIE. JUST GO BACK TO SLEEP. 52 00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:55,789 - OKAY? - OKAY. 53 00:01:55,790 --> 00:01:56,919 ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT. I LOVE YOU. 54 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:57,920 - SHH. - MMM. 55 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:00,419 (sighs) 56 00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:01,459 (clatter, glass breaks) 57 00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:02,460 DAMN! I... 58 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,249 IT'S OKAY, SWEETIE. 59 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,830 GO BACK TO SLEEP, NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT OVER HERE, OKAY? SHH. 60 00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:12,080 (vacuum whirs) 61 00:02:13,670 --> 00:02:14,999 FOR THE LOVE OF... 62 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,499 JUST A LITTLE BROKEN GLASS HERE, 63 00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:18,250 I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO GET HURT IN THE MORNING, HONEY. 64 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:21,250 I LOVE YOU! 65 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,579 (theme music playing) 66 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:27,169 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 67 00:02:27,170 --> 00:02:29,209 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 68 00:02:29,210 --> 00:02:31,039 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 69 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:32,579 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪ 70 00:02:32,580 --> 00:02:34,789 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 71 00:02:34,790 --> 00:02:36,329 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 72 00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:38,749 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 73 00:02:38,750 --> 00:02:41,169 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 74 00:02:41,170 --> 00:02:43,670 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 75 00:02:46,170 --> 00:02:47,209 (Mel yawns) 76 00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:48,249 DID I MISS IT? 77 00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:49,709 WAS HE ON YET? 78 00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:51,919 NO, THE LADY FROM THE ZOO BROUGHT IN THE NEW BABY MEERKAT. 79 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:54,579 BUT SO FAR, HE HASN'T PEED ON ANYBODY. 80 00:02:54,580 --> 00:02:56,000 OH, LOOKS LIKE YOU SPOKE TOO SOON. 81 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,119 - OH, IT'S JOE. - OH. 82 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,169 Joe: Thank you, Amber. 83 00:03:00,170 --> 00:03:01,669 Later on, I'm gonna tell you how 84 00:03:01,670 --> 00:03:03,169 to get that stain out with just a little bit of club soda. 85 00:03:03,170 --> 00:03:04,459 Morning, everybody. 86 00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:07,329 I am Joe Longo, I am the new lifestyle correspondent 87 00:03:07,330 --> 00:03:09,419 right here at (deep voice) Wake up, Toledo! 88 00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:13,169 (normal voice) I'm gonna be offering you unique tips on diet and exercise, 89 00:03:13,170 --> 00:03:16,169 plus we are gonna amp up your positive attitude 90 00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:18,669 so you too can live the Longo life. 91 00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:20,999 Are you excited, Toledo? 'Cause I'm excited. 92 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,119 In fact, I'm stoked. 93 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,709 Who's stoked? 94 00:03:24,710 --> 00:03:25,749 YEAH, I'M KINDA STOKED. 95 00:03:25,750 --> 00:03:27,459 HOW ABOUT YOU, AUNT MEL? 96 00:03:27,460 --> 00:03:28,500 AUNT MEL? 97 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:30,539 AUNT MEL! 98 00:03:30,540 --> 00:03:31,960 OH, SAVE THE SHOES! SAVE THE SHOES! 99 00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:36,329 This is who I am, Sergio. 100 00:03:36,330 --> 00:03:39,459 Either accept it, or go find yourself a new girlfriend. 101 00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:41,120 (chuckles) 102 00:03:42,170 --> 00:03:43,329 I HAVE TO SAY, MCKENNA... 103 00:03:43,330 --> 00:03:45,289 SORRY, CASSANDRA, 104 00:03:45,290 --> 00:03:47,379 OUR MOVIE'S TOTALLY COMING TOGETHER. 105 00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:49,119 YOU GAVE A GREAT PERFORMANCE IN THAT SCENE. 106 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:50,169 THAT WAS A TOUR-DE-FORCE. 107 00:03:50,170 --> 00:03:51,539 I KNOW, THANKS. 108 00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:54,119 I MEAN, IT WAS A TEAM EFFORT. 109 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,540 OR WHATEVER. 110 00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:59,289 ALL RIGHT, I'M OUT. I GOTTA GO TO CLASS. 111 00:03:59,290 --> 00:04:02,039 OH, OKAY. WELL, WE'LL BE HANGING OUT LATER, RIGHT? 112 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,079 YEAH, MAYBE WE CAN RUN A FEW SCENES. 113 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:05,749 DO A LITTLE IMPROV. 114 00:04:05,750 --> 00:04:07,209 - OH. - MMM. 115 00:04:07,210 --> 00:04:08,619 OKAY. 116 00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:12,040 (giggles) 117 00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:15,040 (sighs) IMPROV IS CODE FOR SEX. 118 00:04:16,540 --> 00:04:18,750 IT'S NOT CODE IF YOU EXPLAIN IT. 119 00:04:22,380 --> 00:04:23,749 - HEY! - HEY! 120 00:04:23,750 --> 00:04:25,209 THERE HE IS. 121 00:04:25,210 --> 00:04:28,169 THE WORLD'S MOST ATTRACTIVE TV CORRESPONDENT. 122 00:04:28,170 --> 00:04:30,249 WELL, OTHER THAN ANDERSON COOPER. 123 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:31,379 THERE HE IS! 124 00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:35,120 THE WORLD'S MOST ATTRACTIVE, HETEROSEXUAL TV CORRESPONDENT. 125 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,789 YOU KNOW, I GOT TO TELL YOU IT FELT GREAT TO BE ABLE 126 00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:39,169 TO CONNECT WITH SO MANY PEOPLE AT ONCE. 127 00:04:39,170 --> 00:04:40,499 SO, WHAT'D YOU THINK OF THE SEGMENT? 128 00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:41,789 AWESOME. 129 00:04:41,790 --> 00:04:43,419 SO AWESOME. 130 00:04:43,420 --> 00:04:46,079 I MEAN, WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE THE AWESOMENESS. 131 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:47,880 YOU DIDN'T WATCH IT, DID YOU? 132 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,000 WELL, NOT WITH MY EYES BUT WITH MY HEART. 133 00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:55,039 IT'S ON SO EARLY. I PROMISE I'LL WATCH TOMORROW. 134 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:56,499 IT'S OKAY, HONEY. 135 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:57,830 DINNER'S ON. 136 00:04:58,830 --> 00:05:00,209 WHERE'S YOUR PLATE? 137 00:05:00,210 --> 00:05:02,249 OH, UM, I ATE AT THREE. I HAVE TO HIT THE SACK. 138 00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:05,119 IT'S NOT EVEN DARK OUT AND THE MAIL HASN'T COME YET. 139 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:08,329 I HAVE TO GET TO BED EARLY. COME ON, I HAVE TO BE THERE AT 3:30 IN THE MORNING AGAIN. 140 00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:10,669 BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU ALL DAY, 141 00:05:10,670 --> 00:05:13,710 AND I HAVE OTHER NEEDS BESIDES MY NEED FOR FOOD. 142 00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:16,879 ALL RIGHT, COME ON. 143 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:17,880 I'LL THROW YOU ONE. 144 00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:24,210 SO, I JUST GOT THE ODDEST EMAIL FROM IVANA. 145 00:05:25,170 --> 00:05:27,329 SHE WANTS ME TO ADD MORE CASSANDRA SCENES. 146 00:05:27,330 --> 00:05:29,709 YOU KNOW, I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY SHE'D WANT TO DO THAT. 147 00:05:29,710 --> 00:05:30,710 CAN YOU? 148 00:05:31,830 --> 00:05:34,619 YOU KNOW, I'LL BET IT'S BECAUSE CASSANDRA, 149 00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:36,379 THAT BRILLIANT CREATION OF YOURS, 150 00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:38,619 IS A MULTI-LAYERED CHARACTER AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN REALLY BEGUN 151 00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:39,749 MINING HER TRUE POTENTIAL. 152 00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:41,289 HUH. 153 00:05:41,290 --> 00:05:44,380 THAT'S INTERESTING, BECAUSE IVANA USED THE EXACT SAME WORDS. 154 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:48,880 GREAT MINDS. 155 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:50,919 OH, PLEASE. 156 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:52,419 YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO PUT OFF THE INEVITABLE. 157 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,289 CASSANDRA TURNING BACK INTO MCKENNA. 158 00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:56,789 (scoffs) THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME AND CASSANDRA. 159 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,249 THIS IS ABOUT MINING CASSANDRA'S TRUE CHARACTER. 160 00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:01,209 YOU KNOW, DELVING DEEP, DEEP INSIDE HER. 161 00:06:01,210 --> 00:06:02,170 TAPPING HER, EVERY BIT OF HER. 162 00:06:02,170 --> 00:06:03,170 OKAY, STOP. 163 00:06:04,540 --> 00:06:07,039 I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOU TAPPING CASSANDRA. 164 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:08,499 I'LL JUST WRITE MORE SCENES. 165 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,209 THANK YOU. 166 00:06:10,210 --> 00:06:11,500 ON BEHALF OF IVANA. 167 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,999 WELL, AT LEAST YOUR JOB DOESN'T SEEM TO BE AFFECTING OUR ROMANCE. 168 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,379 HONEY, NOTHING IS EVER GOING TO AFFECT OUR ROMANCE. 169 00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,879 YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE WE ARE HOT. 170 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:21,919 HOT. 171 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:22,959 - (Mel giggles) - HOT. 172 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,619 (Joe giggles) SEE YA. 173 00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:26,789 WAIT, WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 174 00:06:26,790 --> 00:06:29,119 WELL, I'M GONNA GO SLEEP IN MY OLD ROOM. 175 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,039 WHAT IS THIS, SOPHOMORE YEAR OF COLLEGE? I WANTED TO SPOON. 176 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,169 NO, HONEY, LOOK, 177 00:06:33,170 --> 00:06:35,499 I DON'T WANT YOU WAKING ME UP WHEN YOU GET IN BED, 178 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,079 I DON'T WANT TO WAKE YOU UP WHEN I GET OUT OF BED. 179 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,170 YOU KNOW? IT'S REALLY THE BEST THING FOR BOTH OF US. 180 00:06:40,170 --> 00:06:42,669 YOU'RE ACTING LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF CHEAP BOOTY CALL. 181 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:45,419 WHAT? COME ON. OF COURSE I'M NOT. 182 00:06:45,420 --> 00:06:46,749 NO, HONEY. 183 00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:49,289 YOU'RE MY BOOTY FOR LIFE. 184 00:06:49,290 --> 00:06:52,289 YOU KNOW? YOU'RE MY PERMA-BOOTY. 185 00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:53,879 (chuckles) YOU'RE MY, UH... 186 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,379 MY BOOTY AND CHAIN. 187 00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:57,249 (chuckles) NO, I LOVE YOU. 188 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,919 HEY, LOOK, THIS WAS, UH... 189 00:06:58,920 --> 00:06:59,959 THIS WAS... 190 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,209 THIS WAS NICE. 191 00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:02,290 I'LL TEXT YOU. 192 00:07:03,830 --> 00:07:04,830 WHAT? 193 00:07:04,831 --> 00:07:06,289 THAT CAME OUT SO WRONG. 194 00:07:06,290 --> 00:07:07,919 THAT ISN'T EVEN WHAT I MEANT. WHAT I MEANT WAS... 195 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,919 I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. ALL RIGHT? 196 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,379 HERE, YOU KNOW WHAT, 197 00:07:11,380 --> 00:07:12,959 YOU CAN HAVE MY GOOD PILLOW. 198 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,169 WHY DON'T YOU SPOON WITH THAT? 199 00:07:14,170 --> 00:07:16,750 IT SMELLS LIKE ME, WHICH IS, YOU KNOW, WHY I LOVE IT SO MUCH. 200 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,879 NOPE, CAN'T DO IT. SORRY, SWEETIE. 201 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:22,880 GOTTA HAVE MY GOOD PILLOW. 202 00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,329 WHEW, IT'S BACK! OKAY. 203 00:07:26,330 --> 00:07:28,040 I LOVE YOU. NIGHT. 204 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:34,919 HI, HONEY. 205 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:35,920 HEY. 206 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,499 IT'S 2:45, WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP? 207 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:41,079 WELL, I REALIZED THAT IF I WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOU, 208 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,289 I'M GONNA HAVE TO MAKE SOME SACRIFICES. 209 00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:45,879 BUT, IT'S WORTH IT IF I GET TO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME WITH MY MAN. 210 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,620 AW, THANK YOU, HONEY. 211 00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:49,669 I GOT TO GO. 212 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:50,709 WHAT? 213 00:07:50,710 --> 00:07:52,119 YEAH, I HAVE TO BE IN EXTRA EARLY TODAY. 214 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,579 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WAIT. ARE YOU KIDDING? 215 00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:55,830 I MEAN, IF IT WAS ANY EARLIER, IT WOULD BE YESTERDAY. 216 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,079 WHAT CAN I SAY? I HAVE TO STOP AT THE MARKET ON MY WAY IN. 217 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:02,079 I'M DOING A SEGMENT TODAY ON HOW TO WORKOUT WITH A WATERMELON. 218 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,169 IT'S CALLED, "LIFT IT, THEN EAT IT." 219 00:08:04,170 --> 00:08:07,119 YEAH, IT'S FROM A FARM TO TABLE TO MOUTH 220 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,210 TO MUSCLES. 221 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,079 LOVE YOU. SEE YA. 222 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,249 YEAH, SEE YA. 223 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:14,210 ONE OF THESE DAYS. 224 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,120 (groans) 225 00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:19,669 HEY, I GOT YOUR TEXT 226 00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:22,249 THAT YOU FINISHED THE CASSANDRA SCENES. HAND THEM OVER. 227 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:23,750 YOU WROTE THOSE IN RECORD TIME. 228 00:08:24,830 --> 00:08:27,249 LET'S JUST SAY I WAS INSPIRED. 229 00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:28,670 WELL, THANKS FOR DOING THIS. 230 00:08:29,670 --> 00:08:32,499 FOR IVANA, 'CAUSE IVANA THINKS IT'LL BE A GOOD MOVE. 231 00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:35,579 I MEAN, THERE'S NO LIMIT TO THE AMOUNT OF STORIES THAT WE CAN TELL 232 00:08:35,580 --> 00:08:38,249 ABOUT THIS CHARACTER. I MEAN, NOTHING CAN STOP CASSANDRA. 233 00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:40,040 YOU KILLED CASSANDRA? 234 00:08:41,670 --> 00:08:42,959 YEP. 235 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,169 AND WHO KNEW HOW FUN IT IS TO WRITE A DEATH SCENE? 236 00:08:45,170 --> 00:08:48,080 I MEAN, IT'S NO WONDER GEORGE R. R. MARTIN IS ALWAYS SMILING. 237 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,289 IVANA'S GONNA HATE THIS. 238 00:08:50,290 --> 00:08:54,209 YEAH, WELL, IVANA READ IT AND SENT ME THIS TEXT: 239 00:08:54,210 --> 00:08:57,750 "GREAT ENDING. I LOVE A GOOD DEATH SCENE. DON'T CHANGE A WORD." 240 00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:00,960 THERE'S MANY WAYS TO INTERPRET THAT. 241 00:09:02,210 --> 00:09:04,579 ADMIT IT, THE ONLY REASON YOU WANTED ME TO WRITE MORE 242 00:09:04,580 --> 00:09:07,379 WAS SO YOU COULD KEEP YOUR SHAM RELATIONSHIP WITH MCKENNA GOING. 243 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,249 YOU'RE DATING A CHARACTER. 244 00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:10,919 OKAY, WHEN THE FILM WRAPS, 245 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:12,669 MCKENNA'S GONNA GO BACK TO BEING THE SAME BUBBLY CHEERLEADER 246 00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:14,790 WHO SAID HER FAVORITE COLOR IS GLITTER. 247 00:09:15,790 --> 00:09:17,249 (scoffs) 248 00:09:17,250 --> 00:09:18,250 SO? 249 00:09:19,460 --> 00:09:20,749 GLITTER IS BEAUTIFUL. 250 00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:22,710 AND IT NEVER, EVER GOES AWAY. 251 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,170 WHO DOESN'T LOVE GLITTER? 252 00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:29,459 MCKENNA WANTED TO GO TO THE ZOO TO PET THE UNICORN. 253 00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:31,209 BECAUSE SHE BELIEVES IN BEAUTIFUL MAGIC. 254 00:09:31,210 --> 00:09:32,710 IS THAT SO WRONG? 255 00:09:38,170 --> 00:09:39,170 MAN! 256 00:09:40,210 --> 00:09:42,790 I CANNOT WAIT TO CRASH OUT. I'M TELLING YOU. 257 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,119 7:15! WHAT AM I STILL DOING UP? HONEY? 258 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,459 I GOT TO GO TO BED RIGHT NOW, ALL RIGHT, THIS IS ME KISSING YOU GOOD NIGHT. 259 00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:49,460 MWAH! 260 00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:53,460 WHOA. 261 00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:55,420 SOMEONE GOT A DATE? 262 00:09:56,420 --> 00:09:57,829 DON'T YOU REMEMBER? 263 00:09:57,830 --> 00:10:00,039 THE CAMPAIGN INVESTOR IS COMING OVER TONIGHT 264 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:01,209 TO DECIDE IF HE'S GONNA GIVE ME MONEY. 265 00:10:01,210 --> 00:10:02,749 OH, YEAH. RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. 266 00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:03,879 FOR YOUR CONGRESSIONAL CAMPAIGN. 267 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,579 EXPLORATORY CAMPAIGN. 268 00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:07,289 WELL, WISH ME LUCK. 269 00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:09,379 WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT. I THOUGHT THAT HE WANTED TO MEET BOTH OF US. 270 00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:11,879 YOU KNOW, TO SEE IF WE HAD WHAT IT TOOK TO BE AN ELECTABLE POWER COUPLE. 271 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,169 WELL, YEAH, JOE. BUT YOU'RE ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP. 272 00:10:14,170 --> 00:10:15,829 NO, I'M GONNA SPLASH SOME WATER ON MY FACE 273 00:10:15,830 --> 00:10:17,709 AND I'M GONNA WAKE UP BECAUSE I NEED TO BE THERE FOR YOU. 274 00:10:17,710 --> 00:10:19,379 - (doorbell rings) - OH, THAT'S HIM. 275 00:10:19,380 --> 00:10:21,079 ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER. I'M READY, LET'S GO MEET HIM. 276 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,169 WHOA, HEY. YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR PAJAMAS. 277 00:10:23,170 --> 00:10:24,170 YES I AM. 278 00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:28,080 OKAY, CASSANDRA, ACTION. 279 00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:33,209 WELL, THIS SUCKS. 280 00:10:33,210 --> 00:10:36,539 EVEN THOUGH I CAN SEE THE FUTURE, I COULD NOT SEE MY OWN DEATH. 281 00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:40,919 OH, HERE'S A TIP: IF YOU'RE FIGHTING WITH HYENAS OVER THE LAST CHICKEN LEG, 282 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,249 LET THE HYENAS WIN. 283 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,000 LATER. 284 00:10:44,250 --> 00:10:45,080 AND... 285 00:10:45,081 --> 00:10:46,329 DON'T SAY CUT. 286 00:10:46,330 --> 00:10:48,209 MAYBE SHE CAN PULL THROUGH. 287 00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:50,169 NO. SHE DIES. 288 00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:51,420 CUT! 289 00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:55,040 ALL RIGHT, GUYS, WE ARE WRAPPED ON CASSANDRA. 290 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:58,619 OH, AND IF YOU'RE HUNGRY, 291 00:10:58,620 --> 00:11:00,249 PLEASE FEEL FREE TO HELP YOURSELF 292 00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:03,170 TO THE EXTRA BLOOD AND GUTS MARINARA, COURTESY OF KAYLA'S GRANDMA. 293 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:06,789 NICE WORK. 294 00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:08,750 YEAH, YOU DID GREAT, HONEY. 295 00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:11,750 (bubbly voice) THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN! 296 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,250 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S OVER. 297 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:16,709 WELCOME BACK, MCKENNA. 298 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,459 ARE WE STILL GOING OUT TONIGHT? 299 00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,329 YEAH, OF COURSE. 300 00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:21,789 WHY WOULDN'T WE? 301 00:11:21,790 --> 00:11:22,790 (giggles) 302 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,329 (gasps) OH MY GOD! 303 00:11:25,330 --> 00:11:28,000 MY GLITTER LIP GLOSS, HOW I'VE MISSED YOU. 304 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,500 (chuckles) HAVE FUN ON YOUR DATE. 305 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,169 WELL, MEL, WHAT I'VE LEARNED IN POLITICS 306 00:11:36,170 --> 00:11:38,749 IS THAT PEOPLE AREN'T JUST VOTING FOR THE CANDIDATE, 307 00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:40,119 THEY'RE VOTING FOR THE FAMILY. 308 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:43,329 AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE TO MEET MY FAMILY. RIGHT, JOE? 309 00:11:43,330 --> 00:11:46,919 (snores) 310 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,209 DID HE JUST FALL ASLEEP WHILE I WAS TALKING? 311 00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:51,750 NO, HIS EYES ARE OPEN. 312 00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:54,170 (snores) 313 00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:57,000 THE MAN IS SNORING. 314 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,709 YEAH. UH-HUH. 315 00:11:59,710 --> 00:12:02,080 HEY, JOE. YOU DIDN'T FALL ASLEEP, RIGHT? 316 00:12:03,210 --> 00:12:04,290 NO. 317 00:12:05,460 --> 00:12:07,959 WHAT? NO, I WAS CONCENTRATING. 318 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:11,209 I WAS LISTENING, UM, TO EVERY SINGLE WORD. 319 00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:13,249 THAT, UH... THAT, UM... 320 00:12:13,250 --> 00:12:14,289 HANK. 321 00:12:14,290 --> 00:12:15,420 HANK WAS SAYING. 322 00:12:16,580 --> 00:12:18,459 WILL YOU EXCUSE US FOR A SECOND? 323 00:12:18,460 --> 00:12:19,539 - LISTEN... - YEAH? 324 00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:21,419 YOU EITHER GO UPSTAIRS TO BED, OR YOU PERK UP. 325 00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:23,289 PERK UP. PERK UP. THAT'S... 326 00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:24,290 ACTUALLY A GOOD IDEA. 327 00:12:25,750 --> 00:12:27,289 GOTTA PERK UP, GOTTA PERK UP. 328 00:12:27,290 --> 00:12:28,879 GOTTA... OW! 329 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,919 YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T THINK COFFEE'S GONNA DO THE TRICK. 330 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:32,709 WHAT ELSE DO WE GOT? LET ME SEE. 331 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,079 OKAY, ENERGY DRINKS. 332 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,670 LET'S SEE, THE CAFFEINE IN ONE CAN IS EQUIVALENT TO NINE CUPS OF COFFEE. 333 00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:41,540 OH, YEAH. 334 00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:45,669 BABY. 335 00:12:45,670 --> 00:12:47,040 ALL RIGHT. 336 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,709 I'M TELLING YOU, HANK, 337 00:12:51,710 --> 00:12:53,539 YOU CAN NOT GO WRONG WITH MEL BURKE AS YOUR CONGRESSMAN... 338 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:56,289 CONGRESSWOMAN... CONGRESSPERSON... REPRESENTATIVE. 339 00:12:56,290 --> 00:12:57,709 OKAY, BECAUSE MEL BURKE, 340 00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,039 MEL BURKE, MAN, SHE IS REPRESENTATIVE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATIVE 341 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,959 YOU WANT REPRESENTING YOUR CONSTITUENCY. 342 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,079 JOE, IF I MAY... 343 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:04,539 NO, I'M NOT DONE HERE, HONEY. 344 00:13:04,540 --> 00:13:07,289 (stuttering) SEE, SEE, SEE, MEL, MEL, MEL BURKE, HANK, 345 00:13:07,290 --> 00:13:09,539 HAS THE CONSTITUTION TO DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION 346 00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:12,289 ON BEHALF OF THE CONSTITUENCY, CONSISTENTLY. ALL RIGHT? 347 00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:14,039 INSISTENTLY, PERSISTENTLY. 348 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,460 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 349 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,040 JOE, THERE'S A FIRE IN YOUR EYES. 350 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,580 LIKE SOME SORT OF LUNATIC ASYLUM IS BURNING DOWN. 351 00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:25,539 (laughs) STOP TALKING. 352 00:13:25,540 --> 00:13:27,169 YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY? I GOT ONE MORE THOUGHT. 353 00:13:27,170 --> 00:13:28,080 - ONE MORE THOUGHT. - NO, YOU DON'T. 354 00:13:28,081 --> 00:13:30,039 NO, YOU DON'T. GO GET THE CANNOLI. 355 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,459 YES! 356 00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:34,249 YES! THE CANNOLI. OH! 357 00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:35,289 I MADE CANNOLIS. 358 00:13:35,290 --> 00:13:37,289 YESTERDAY, I MADE RAVIOLI, BUT TONIGHT... 359 00:13:37,290 --> 00:13:38,500 CANNOLI. 360 00:13:41,210 --> 00:13:43,119 UH, LOOK, JOE'S JUST OVERTIRED. 361 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,119 I KNOW HIS BEHAVIOR MAY SEEM A LITTLE ODD. 362 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:46,830 I HADN'T NOTICED. 363 00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:50,789 OH, YEAH. 364 00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:53,289 COME ON, BABY. OH, LET ME SMELL THESE. 365 00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,579 (sniffs) BEAUTIFUL! 366 00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:55,580 (sneezes) 367 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:00,379 OH, WELL. 368 00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:01,380 (grunts) 369 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,459 SORRY, GUYS. THERE WAS A LITTLE INCIDENT WITH THE DESSERT. 370 00:14:05,460 --> 00:14:08,209 (sniffing) THERE'S A VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. 371 00:14:08,210 --> 00:14:09,379 ALL RIGHT. 372 00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:11,289 I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE. 373 00:14:11,290 --> 00:14:14,119 LOOK, MEL, THERE'S A LOT OF PRESSURE ON A CAMPAIGN, 374 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,919 AND IT'S NO PLACE FOR A COKE ADDICT. 375 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,539 A W... A WHAT? 376 00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:20,500 NO! (sniffs) WHERE ON EARTH WOULD YOU GET THAT IDEA? 377 00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:26,959 WELL, THANK YOU FOR TONIGHT. 378 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,709 IT'S BEEN INTERESTING. 379 00:14:28,710 --> 00:14:30,620 IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. I TOLD YOU, JOE IS JUST SLEEP DEPRIVED. 380 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:32,879 CAN I PLEASE HAVE MY COAT? 381 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,619 YEAH, AS SOON AS YOU LET ME EXPLAIN. 382 00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:36,579 I'LL EXPLAIN, I'LL EXPLAIN. ALL RIGHT, LOOK, THE TRUTH IS, FRANK, 383 00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:38,539 I MIXED SOME SUBSTANCES THAT I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE. 384 00:14:38,540 --> 00:14:39,540 - HANK. - HANK! 385 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,379 WELL, ADMITTING YOU HAVE A PROBLEM IS A GOOD FIRST STEP. 386 00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:44,829 (stammers) WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 387 00:14:44,830 --> 00:14:46,379 CAFFEINE SUBSTANCES. 388 00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:48,039 HANK, CAFFEINE. 389 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,999 YEAH. I'VE HAD COFFEE BEFORE, 390 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,290 AND IT NEVER LOOKED LIKE THIS. 391 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,919 NOW, CAN I PLEASE HAVE MY COAT? 392 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,619 UNTIL WE CLEAR THIS UP, THIS COAT IS MY HOSTAGE. (chuckles) 393 00:14:57,620 --> 00:14:59,249 LOOK, MEL, 394 00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:01,709 I STILL THINK THAT YOU'RE A GREAT CANDIDATE, 395 00:15:01,710 --> 00:15:04,379 JUST CALL ME WHEN HE GETS CLEAN AND SOBER. 396 00:15:04,380 --> 00:15:05,419 - BUT... - NOW. 397 00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:07,459 WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE ME MY COAT? 398 00:15:07,460 --> 00:15:09,120 MY KEYS ARE IN THERE. 399 00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:14,249 HE'S NOT A DRUG ADDICT! 400 00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:16,670 HE'S A MORNING LIFESTYLE CORRESPONDENT! 401 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,459 JOE, WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN? 402 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:25,619 WHAT CAN I DO? YOU KNOW, YOU TOLD ME TO PERK UP. I PERKED UP. 403 00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:28,539 ALL I HAD, HONEY, WAS THE EQUIVALENT TO 18 TO 20 CUPS OF COFFEE. 404 00:15:28,540 --> 00:15:29,750 I DON'T FEEL GOOD. 405 00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:34,249 (both giggling) 406 00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:35,539 YOU KNOW WHAT? 407 00:15:35,540 --> 00:15:37,419 IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE GONE OUT WITH SOMEONE 408 00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:39,619 WHO DIDN'T MAKE SARCASTIC COMMENTS ABOUT EVERYTHING. 409 00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:40,999 INCLUDING ME. 410 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,669 (giggles) ZANDER, YOU'RE SO FUNNY. 411 00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:47,080 YOU KNOW, I THINK I COULD REALLY GET USED TO THIS. 412 00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:49,919 WHAT DO YOU MEAN "GET USED TO THIS"? 413 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,249 WE'VE BEEN GOING OUT FOR A MONTH. 414 00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:53,079 BUT WE WEREN'T REALLY GOING OUT. 415 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,879 YOU WERE PLAYING CASSANDRA THE WHOLE TIME, 416 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,579 WHO'S BASED ON LENNOX, WHO WAS MY GIRLFRIEND. 417 00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:58,079 SO, NATURALLY, THAT APPEALED TO ME. 418 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,250 HOLD ON. THAT WAS WHY YOU WERE ATTRACTED TO ME? 419 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,119 WELL, YEAH. 420 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,379 BUT NOW I'M GETTING TO KNOW THE REAL YOU, AND I REALLY LIKE THAT PERSON. 421 00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:08,750 SO THIS WHOLE TIME, I WAS JUST A LENNOX SUBSTITUTE? 422 00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:11,500 YOU SAY THAT LIKE IT'S A BAD THING. 423 00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:15,040 NOW, CAN WE JUST GO TO BED? WE CAN GET OUR MINDS OFF THIS, CASSANDRA. 424 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,169 I MEAN, LENNOX. 425 00:16:17,170 --> 00:16:19,080 I MEAN, UM, UM... MCKENNA. 426 00:16:21,420 --> 00:16:22,420 OH, BOY. 427 00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:25,789 (sighs) 428 00:16:25,790 --> 00:16:27,289 WHAT CAN I SAY? I'M SORRY I MESSED THINGS UP, MEL. 429 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,379 I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE THERE FOR YOU. 430 00:16:28,380 --> 00:16:30,169 THAT WASN'T YOU. THAT WAS SOME KIND OF 431 00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:31,920 SWEATY, CANNOLI-SNORTING, COFFEE MONSTER. 432 00:16:33,170 --> 00:16:34,829 LOOK, MAYBE WE JUST CAN'T BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER 433 00:16:34,830 --> 00:16:36,119 WHILE OUR SCHEDULES ARE LIKE THIS. 434 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,330 YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT. 435 00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:41,119 HEY, I HOPE YOU'RE NOT ASKING ME TO QUIT MY JOB, HONEY, 436 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,379 BECAUSE A LOT OF VIEWERS RELY ON ME. 437 00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:45,289 WELL, THEN I GUESS YOU SHOULD GET TO BED. 438 00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:47,119 YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT. 439 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:48,959 I GUESS, YOU KNOW, I PROBABLY SHOULD. 440 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,539 ALTHOUGH, WITH A BLOOD CAFFEINE LEVEL 441 00:16:50,540 --> 00:16:52,879 OF 9.0, I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA BE SLEEPING TILL NEXT WEEK. 442 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,210 (giggles) 'CAUSE I'M... WHOO, JITTERY. 443 00:16:57,460 --> 00:16:59,539 WELL, MISS LENNOX, YOU WERE WRONG. 444 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,999 I WENT OUT WITH MCKENNA, 445 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,459 AND SHE WAS HERSELF, AND I LIKED HER FOR HERSELF, AND SHE LIKED ME, 446 00:17:03,460 --> 00:17:06,040 AND I HAD A GREAT TIME. SO THERE. 447 00:17:07,170 --> 00:17:08,459 THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 448 00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:10,000 I DIDN'T SAY SHE HAD A GREAT TIME. 449 00:17:11,670 --> 00:17:12,709 MCKENNA DUMPED ME. 450 00:17:12,710 --> 00:17:14,379 WHAT? WHY? 451 00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:16,079 BECAUSE I REALIZED YOU WERE RIGHT. 452 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:19,329 I WAS DATING A CHARACTER AND THE ONLY REASON I WAS DRAWN TO HER 453 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:20,919 WAS 'CAUSE SHE WAS A VERSION OF YOU. 454 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,119 AND WHEN I TOLD HER THAT... 455 00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,459 YOU TOLD HER THAT? 456 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,379 HOW CAN MEN BE SO STUPID IN AN AGE WHERE YOU CAN JUST 457 00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:28,420 GO ONLINE AND SEARCH WHAT NOT TO DO? 458 00:17:29,670 --> 00:17:31,119 I WAS TRYING TO BE HONEST WITH HER. 459 00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:33,039 WELL, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET 460 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,169 FOR GOING OUT WITH A LESSER VERSION OF ME. 461 00:17:35,170 --> 00:17:36,999 (scoffs, chuckles) 462 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,789 I WAS GOING OUT WITH THE NICER VERSION OF YOU. 463 00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:39,829 UGH! 464 00:17:39,830 --> 00:17:41,789 OH, LIKE IT'S SOME SECRET THAT YOU'RE DIFFICULT? 465 00:17:41,790 --> 00:17:43,459 I AM NOT DIFFICULT. 466 00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:45,670 OKAY, I AM DEEP. 467 00:17:46,670 --> 00:17:49,499 AND APPARENTLY, ALL YOU CAN HANDLE IS SOMEONE SHALLOW. 468 00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:52,289 THIS, COMING FROM THE GIRL WHO DATED MARCO, THE WELDER. 469 00:17:52,290 --> 00:17:54,000 I'VE EATEN YOGURT SMARTER THAN THAT GUY. 470 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,169 YEAH, WELL, HE WAS HOT. 471 00:17:56,170 --> 00:17:57,209 YEAH, WELL, MCKENNA WAS HOT. 472 00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,459 THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE I'M HOT. 473 00:17:58,460 --> 00:18:00,330 - OF COURSE YOU'RE HOT. - WELL, SO ARE YOU. 474 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,039 THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THE ORIGINAL. 475 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,749 JUST BECAUSE WE HAD SEX, 476 00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:08,499 DOES NOT MEAN WE ARE BACK TOGETHER. 477 00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:11,040 GOTCHA. LOUD AND CLEAR. 478 00:18:13,170 --> 00:18:15,379 BUT THAT BEING SAID, MAYBE WE SHOULD DO IT AGAIN. 479 00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:17,119 JUST TO GET IT OUT OF OUR SYSTEMS. 480 00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,169 I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING. 481 00:18:19,170 --> 00:18:20,790 GREAT MINDS. 482 00:18:31,170 --> 00:18:32,669 GREAT NEWS, JOE. 483 00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:34,999 WE ARE UP 40% OVER LAST MONTH. 484 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,119 NO WAY, THAT'S FANTASTIC! 485 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:37,879 AND WE OWE A LOT OF THAT TO YOU. 486 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,079 800 NEW VIEWERS IS BIG. 487 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,709 (chuckles) OKAY. WOW. EIGHT HUN... 800? 488 00:18:42,710 --> 00:18:43,749 YEAH. 489 00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:45,169 HOW MANY PEOPLE WATCH THIS SHOW? 490 00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:47,080 WELL, NOW, TWO... 491 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:49,289 MILLION? 492 00:18:49,290 --> 00:18:50,829 THOUSAND. 493 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:54,039 WE ARE FINALLY CLOSE TO BEATING OUR COMPETITION. 494 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,879 WE HAVE COMPETITION AT 5 A.M.? 495 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,709 OH, YEAH. KNIVES, KNIVES, KNIVES 496 00:18:57,710 --> 00:18:59,830 HAS BEEN KICKING OUR BUTTS FOR YEARS. 497 00:19:00,830 --> 00:19:02,459 PEOPLE LOVE KNIVES. 498 00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:03,540 (chuckles) 499 00:19:11,210 --> 00:19:12,670 - HEY. - HEY. 500 00:19:13,790 --> 00:19:15,499 WHY ARE YOU SETTING THE TABLE FOR TWO? 501 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:17,169 DIDN'T YOU HAVE DINNER AT LUNCHTIME? 502 00:19:17,170 --> 00:19:19,249 NO, I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN DOING A LOT OF THINKING 503 00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:20,619 ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID. 504 00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:22,079 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I REALIZED, HONEY, 505 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,579 THAT NO JOB IS WORTH MISSING OUT ON TIME WITH YOU. 506 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,039 SO, TODAY, 507 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,119 I TOLD THE SHOW THAT I QUIT. 508 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,999 OH, JOE. 509 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,289 I'M SO TOUCHED, BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO QUIT YOUR JOB FOR ME. 510 00:19:33,290 --> 00:19:34,999 YOU SHOULD GO RIGHT BACK THERE AND GET THAT JOB BACK. 511 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,329 HEY, LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME. 512 00:19:36,330 --> 00:19:38,829 MY FAMILY IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THAN SOME TV SHOW. 513 00:19:38,830 --> 00:19:40,669 BUT JOE, THIS IS YOUR BIG BREAK. 514 00:19:40,670 --> 00:19:42,039 THIS IS EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED. 515 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,539 I'M GONNA CALL THEM RIGHT NOW AND TELL THEM THAT 516 00:19:43,540 --> 00:19:45,289 YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND AND YOU WANT YOUR JOB BACK. 517 00:19:45,290 --> 00:19:47,880 ONLY 2,000 PEOPLE WATCH THE SHOW! 518 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,619 MORE PEOPLE ARE WATCHING SOME GUY CUT THROUGH A TIRE WITH A KNIFE. 519 00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:54,170 OH, KNIVES, KNIVES, KNIVES? 520 00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,169 IT'S ON AT 5 A.M. HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT? 521 00:19:57,170 --> 00:19:59,000 I RECORD IT. 522 00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:02,169 YOU... LOOK, THE POINT IS, HONEY, 523 00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:04,209 I AM NOT GONNA SACRIFICE OUR RELATIONSHIP 524 00:20:04,210 --> 00:20:06,079 FOR ONLY 2,000 VIEWERS. 525 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,119 OH. 526 00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:09,379 SO YOU FOUND OUT NOT AS MANY PEOPLE 527 00:20:09,380 --> 00:20:10,709 WATCH THE SHOW AS YOU THOUGHT THEY DID 528 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:11,749 AND THAT'S WHY YOU QUIT? 529 00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:12,789 NO, HONEY. 530 00:20:12,790 --> 00:20:14,459 NO, WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT 531 00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:17,999 WAS THAT 2,000 PEOPLE WAS A VERY LOW NUMBER. 532 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,419 AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, 533 00:20:19,420 --> 00:20:23,329 SELF... 2,000 IS SO LOW. 534 00:20:23,330 --> 00:20:25,619 THAT REMINDS ME OF THE LOW NUMBER OF TIMES 535 00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:27,999 - THAT ROMANTICALLY... -OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU ARE GONNA HURT YOURSELF 536 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,669 TRYING TO PUT THOSE TWO THOUGHTS TOGETHER. 537 00:20:29,670 --> 00:20:31,119 HONEY, LISTEN TO ME... 538 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:32,710 BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE STUPID, JUST KISS ME. 539 00:20:37,750 --> 00:20:39,959 YOU KNOW, HONEY, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU QUITTING YOUR JOB... 540 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,499 FOR US, BUT TELL ME, 541 00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:42,959 IF THERE HAD BEEN 10,000 VIEWERS, 542 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:43,999 WOULD YOU STILL HAVE QUIT? 543 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,039 YES, OF COURSE. 544 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:46,040 WHAT IF IT HAD BEEN 10 MILLION? 545 00:20:48,170 --> 00:20:49,419 YES, OF COURSE I'D QUIT. 546 00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:51,499 YOU TOOK TOO LONG TO ANSWER. 547 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,249 LOOK, LOOK, THE POINT IS 548 00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:55,209 I KNOW MY JOB MADE A SACRIFICE 549 00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:56,789 AND WE HAD TO MISS OUT ON A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER. 550 00:20:56,790 --> 00:20:58,999 SO, TELL ME, HOW CAN I MAKE IT UP TO YOU? 551 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,169 WELL, THERE IS ONE THING THAT I'VE MISSED THE MOST 552 00:21:01,170 --> 00:21:02,579 SINCE YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING IN YOUR OLD ROOM 553 00:21:02,580 --> 00:21:04,169 AND WAKING UP EARLY. 554 00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:06,079 OH, I BET I CAN GUESS WHAT IT WAS. 555 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:07,329 MMM, YOUR SPOONING. 556 00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:08,749 AW, BABY. 557 00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:11,249 (giggles) YOUR SPOONING COFFEE INTO THE COFFEE MAKER. 558 00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:13,829 YEAH, I HAVEN'T HAD A DECENT CUP SINCE YOU TOOK THAT DAMN JOB. 559 00:21:13,830 --> 00:21:15,329 BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE STUPID, 560 00:21:15,330 --> 00:21:16,919 - SHUT UP AND KISS ME. - NO. 561 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,420 COFFEE. 562 00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:21,120 OKAY.