1 00:00:05,216 --> 00:00:07,467 Joe: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MEL. 2 00:00:07,468 --> 00:00:12,092 WOW, SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD. I THINK I'M HAVING A NOSE-GASM. 3 00:00:12,093 --> 00:00:15,726 OH... OH... ACHOO! 4 00:00:19,810 --> 00:00:24,104 OKAY, IS THE BIRTHDAY GIRL READY TO START HER SPECIAL DAY? 5 00:00:24,105 --> 00:00:25,565 YES, SHE IS! 6 00:00:25,566 --> 00:00:28,448 OKAY, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO. 7 00:00:28,449 --> 00:00:30,820 AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 8 00:00:30,821 --> 00:00:32,533 CAKE FOR BREAKFAST! CAKE FOR BREAKFAST! 9 00:00:34,415 --> 00:00:35,705 DID YOU MAKE A WISH? 10 00:00:35,706 --> 00:00:37,617 YES, BUT IT ALREADY CAME TRUE... CAKE FOR BREAKFAST! 11 00:00:37,618 --> 00:00:39,619 IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY, HONEY. 12 00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:41,791 YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FOOD GROUPS COVERED RIGHT THERE. 13 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:44,124 IT'S GOT, YOU KNOW, YOUR FROSTING GROUP. 14 00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:45,545 IT HAS THE WHITE FLOUR GROUP. 15 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,297 AND. OF COURSE, THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL... 16 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:48,759 THE CANDLE GROUP. 17 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,173 - IS IT WRONG TO SUCK THE FROSTING OFF? -YES. 18 00:00:53,764 --> 00:00:55,175 EH, TOO BAD. 19 00:00:55,176 --> 00:00:56,846 IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT. 20 00:00:56,847 --> 00:00:59,559 AW, I HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL HUSBAND IN THE WHOLE WORLD. 21 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,482 HE BAKES ME A FANCY CAKE, HE... WAIT, WHERE'S MY PRESENT? 22 00:01:02,483 --> 00:01:04,774 DO YOU WANT IT NOW? OR DO YOU WANT TO SAVE IT FOR LATER? 23 00:01:04,775 --> 00:01:06,107 PRESENT NOW! PRESENT NOW! 24 00:01:07,148 --> 00:01:08,149 OKAY, ALRIGHT, HOLD ON. 25 00:01:10,241 --> 00:01:11,321 - HERE IT IS. - OOH! 26 00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:12,323 Joe: OOH! 27 00:01:14,325 --> 00:01:18,328 OH! IT'S ONE OF THESE... THINGS. 28 00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:19,829 WHAT IS THIS? 29 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:22,622 - WELL, HONEY, THAT IS A... -OH, NO, NO, WAIT! DON'T TELL ME. 30 00:01:22,623 --> 00:01:24,043 IS IT A WAITRESS TASER? 31 00:01:24,044 --> 00:01:25,545 YOU KNOW, THEY'RE ABOUT TO TAKE YOUR FOOD AWAY 32 00:01:25,546 --> 00:01:28,548 AND YOU'RE LIKE, "WAIT, I'M NOTE DONE WITH THAT YET!" (taser sound) 33 00:01:28,549 --> 00:01:31,551 - NO, NO IT'S NOT... -OH, IS IT ONE OF THOSE NEW SWEDISH CORKSCREWS? 34 00:01:31,552 --> 00:01:33,513 I SAW IT ON GOOD MORNING AMERICA. 35 00:01:33,514 --> 00:01:35,425 YOU KNOW, IT'S CALLED THE GRRGLE. 36 00:01:35,426 --> 00:01:37,307 YEAH, LET'S TEST IT OUT. 37 00:01:37,308 --> 00:01:40,350 BECAUSE THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN CAKE FOR BREAKFAST IS WINE FOR BREAKFAST! 38 00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:42,522 HONEY, HONEY, COME HERE LOOK, I'M JUST GONNA TELL YOU. 39 00:01:42,523 --> 00:01:46,356 OKAY, THAT RIGHT THERE, IS A LIFEHAMMER. 40 00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:48,568 A LIFE WHO? 41 00:01:48,569 --> 00:01:50,360 IT'S A LIFEHAMMER. 42 00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:51,571 YOU KEEP THAT IN YOUR CAR, ALRIGHT? 43 00:01:51,572 --> 00:01:53,733 AND IF THERE'S AN EMERGENCY, LIKE SAY, YOU KNOW, YOUR CAR 44 00:01:53,734 --> 00:01:57,737 PLUNGES OFF THE ROAD INTO A LAKE BECAUSE YOU WERE PUTTING ON MAKEUP INSTEAD OF DRIVING 45 00:01:57,738 --> 00:02:00,870 WITH THIS LITTLE THING RIGHT HERE YOU CAN CUT THE SEATBELT 46 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:03,082 AND THEN YOU CAN SMACK OPEN THE WINDOW WITH THAT 47 00:02:03,083 --> 00:02:05,335 AND YOU CAN ESCAPE. IT'S COOL, HUH? 48 00:02:05,336 --> 00:02:07,667 AW, I LOVE IT! 49 00:02:07,668 --> 00:02:10,171 NOW GIVE ME MY REAL GIFT SO I CAN US MY LIFEHAMMER TO CUT THE RIBBON. 50 00:02:12,092 --> 00:02:14,464 NO, THAT IS THE REAL PRESENT. 51 00:02:14,465 --> 00:02:18,097 LOOK, HONEY, I LOVE YOU. YOU KNOW? 52 00:02:18,098 --> 00:02:22,102 AND IF YOU WERE EVER IN A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE ACCIDENT, I'D WANT YOU TO SURVIVE. 53 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:29,729 YOU KNOW, NO ONE HAS EVER CARED ENOUGH ABOUT ME TO BUY ME A LIFEHAMMER. 54 00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:31,482 THAT WAS REALLY THOUGHTFUL, JOE. 55 00:02:33,324 --> 00:02:35,905 IT IS. SO THOUGHTFUL. THANK YOU. 56 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,078 I CAN'T WAIT TO BE TRAPPED UNDER WATER. 57 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,120 (theme music playing) 58 00:02:41,121 --> 00:02:42,492 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 59 00:02:42,493 --> 00:02:44,414 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 60 00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:46,416 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 61 00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:48,127 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪ 62 00:02:48,128 --> 00:02:49,589 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 63 00:02:49,590 --> 00:02:51,341 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 64 00:02:51,342 --> 00:02:54,053 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 65 00:02:54,054 --> 00:02:57,217 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 66 00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:58,219 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 67 00:03:02,012 --> 00:03:05,805 I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT. I PAID EXTRA TO HAVE ONE WITH THE FLORAL PATTERN ON IT. 68 00:03:05,806 --> 00:03:07,307 I GOT ONE, TOO. 69 00:03:07,308 --> 00:03:10,480 - YOU DO? -YEAH, I DO. WELL, I HAVE THE EXECUTIVE LIFEHAMMER. 70 00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:13,443 IT'S LEATHER, WITH BRASS ACCENTS AND A LASER POINTER ON IT. 71 00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:16,736 SO NOW, YOU AND I, WE ARE THE SAFEST COUPLE THAT I KNOW. 72 00:03:16,737 --> 00:03:20,910 - YEAH. -YEP. YOU KNOW, SAFETY IS WHAT EVERY NEW BRIDE DREAMS OF. 73 00:03:20,911 --> 00:03:24,705 BECAUSE BETTER THAN DIAMONDS... IS SAFETY. 74 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:28,207 YOU BET IT IS! 75 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,381 NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME I HAVE TO GO GET SWEATY WITH A GUY IN A GARAGE. 76 00:03:32,383 --> 00:03:35,425 THAT SOUNDED REALLY WEIRD. I HAVE TO GO TRAIN A CLIENT. 77 00:03:35,426 --> 00:03:36,797 - SEE YA. - SEE YOU. 78 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,051 AW, WHAT'S THE MATTER? 79 00:03:42,052 --> 00:03:44,103 I DON'T MEAN TO SOUND UNGRATEFUL, BUT 80 00:03:44,104 --> 00:03:46,225 THIS IS THE WORST GIFT I'VE EVER GOTTEN. 81 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,608 I MEAN, WE'RE BARELY MARRIED AND THIS IS HOW JOE SEES ME? 82 00:03:48,609 --> 00:03:53,313 NOT AS HIS HOT SEXY WIFE, BUT AS SOMEONE THE POLICE DIVER IS LOOKING FOR. 83 00:03:53,314 --> 00:03:56,696 I WOULDN'T GET TOO UPSET ABOUT IT. THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING ELSE LATER. 84 00:03:56,697 --> 00:03:58,358 OH WHAT? A TOOL BELT? 85 00:03:58,359 --> 00:04:00,360 A FIRE EXTINGUISHER? 86 00:04:00,361 --> 00:04:03,533 A CARBON MONOXIDE DETECTOR? OH NO, WAIT, THAT'S THE FIFTH ANNIVERSARY GIFT. 87 00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:06,667 ALL I'M SAYING IS, THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF YOUR BIRTHDAY. 88 00:04:08,038 --> 00:04:09,709 HOLD ON, MISSY. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 89 00:04:09,710 --> 00:04:11,581 WHAT? NOTHING. 90 00:04:11,582 --> 00:04:15,505 ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT YOUR BIRTHDAY GOES ALL DAY. AND IN TO THE NIGHT. 91 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:18,428 OOH... YOU KNOW SOMETHING. 92 00:04:18,429 --> 00:04:21,140 - I'VE GOT TO GET TO CLASS. - NO, NO, NO, HOLD ON! 93 00:04:21,141 --> 00:04:23,843 SIT DOWN, YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, SISTER! 94 00:04:23,844 --> 00:04:26,145 SISTER? MISSY? YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE NICKNAMES. 95 00:04:26,146 --> 00:04:28,097 WHAT IS MY REAL GIFT, LENNY-PENNY? 96 00:04:28,098 --> 00:04:30,560 AND DON'T BOTHER LYING BECAUSE YOU HAVE A "TELL." 97 00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:33,523 - WHAT'S A "TELL"? -EVERY TIME YOU LIE, YOUR NOSE TWITCHES. 98 00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:35,355 - NO, IT DOESN'T. - YES, IT DOES. 99 00:04:35,356 --> 00:04:38,197 ALRIGHT, SO, SPILL IT! WHAT'S MY REAL GIFT? 100 00:04:38,198 --> 00:04:40,610 UH... (sighs) 101 00:04:40,611 --> 00:04:43,032 I PROMISED SOMEBODY I WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING. 102 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:46,616 WELL, TELL THAT TO YOUR TWITCHING NOSE. SPILL IT! WHAT DO YOU KNOW? 103 00:04:46,617 --> 00:04:48,458 NOTHING, NOTHING. 104 00:04:48,459 --> 00:04:51,581 THEN WHY ARE YOU COVERING YOUR NOSE AND AVOIDING EYE CONTACT? 105 00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:53,373 I AM NOT. 106 00:04:53,374 --> 00:04:57,797 I'M LOOKING RIGHT IN THE CORNER OF YOUR EYE, WHERE YOU STILL HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF SLEEP. 107 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,759 NO, THAT'S FROSTING. 108 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,881 COME ON, IS IT A PLANE TICKET? 109 00:05:01,882 --> 00:05:04,344 WILL I NEED TO PACK A BIKINI OR A PARKA? 110 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:05,725 SWIM FINS OR STILETTOS? 111 00:05:05,726 --> 00:05:07,387 OH, THIS IS EXCITING. IT'S LIKE A LITTLE GAME SHOW! 112 00:05:07,388 --> 00:05:09,849 OKAY, CALM DOWN. LOOK, I CANT TELL YOU WHAT YOUR GIFT IS 113 00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:11,522 BECAUSE IT WOULD TOTALLY BETRAY JOE'S TRUST. 114 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:15,355 - BUT... -OH, GOOD, THERE'S A "BUT." GO ON! 115 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:18,648 OKAY. IF YOU GUESS, I WILL NOD. 116 00:05:18,649 --> 00:05:21,320 THAT WAY I CAN SAY TRUTHFULLY THAT I DIDN'T TELL YOU. 117 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:26,245 OKAY, LET'S SEE... IT'S PROBABLY SOMETHING I'VE HINTED THAT I WANT. 118 00:05:26,246 --> 00:05:29,409 - WHICH IS ANYTHING SHINY. - I LOOK GOOD IN SHINY. 119 00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:31,541 OOH, OOH! 120 00:05:31,542 --> 00:05:34,544 IS IT THE HARRY WINSTON BRACELET THAT ANGELINA JOLIE WORE LAST YEAR TO THE OSCARS? 121 00:05:34,545 --> 00:05:37,667 TRY TO KEEP YOUR GUESSES IN THE UNDER-ONE-MILLION-DOLLAR RANGE. 122 00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:40,630 HEY, I CAN'T HELP IT IF I HAVE EXPENSIVE TASTE. 123 00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:44,093 OOH, IS IT THE BIRKIN BAG I SAW ON GWYNETH PALTROW THAT WOULD LOOK SO MUCH BETTER ON ME 124 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,516 BECAUSE SHE IS JUST TOO SKINNY AND IT MAKES HER HEAD LOOK HUGE? 125 00:05:46,517 --> 00:05:50,470 OKAY, I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY. WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST GUESS A CUSTOM-MADE WEDDING RING? 126 00:05:50,471 --> 00:05:54,604 - SHUT UP! IS IT A CUSTOM-MADE WEDDING RING? - HOW'D YOU GUESS? 127 00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:57,356 - WHERE DID HE HIDE IT? - WHOA, STOP THAT! 128 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,739 YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING TO JOE. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS. 129 00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:02,402 OH, OF COURSE. I'LL ACT SURPRISED. I'M GOOD AT THIS. WATCH. 130 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:07,488 (gasps) JOE, I LOVE IT! 131 00:06:08,449 --> 00:06:09,870 SEE, I EVEN SQUEEZED OUT A LITTLE TEAR. 132 00:06:11,792 --> 00:06:14,204 - NO, THAT'S FROSTING. - OH! EVEN BETTER. 133 00:06:18,799 --> 00:06:22,381 - HEY! -HEY, IT'S THE BIRTHDAY GIRL. HOW WAS WORK? 134 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,385 WONDERFUL. I WAS SHOWERED IN BIRTHDAY LOVE AND... CAKE FOR LUNCH! 135 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:30,099 NO, YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING. RATHER THAN ME COOKING AN AMAZING MEAL FOR YOU TONIGHT 136 00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:32,472 WHY DON'T WE DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT? I'LL TAKE YOU OUT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY. 137 00:06:32,473 --> 00:06:34,564 I THOUGHT WE COULD TRY THAT NEW THAI PLACE. 138 00:06:34,565 --> 00:06:36,566 I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. 139 00:06:36,567 --> 00:06:39,899 YOU'RE THE MOST WONDERFUL MAN IN THE WHOLE WORLD! AND I LOVE MY UNDERWATER HAMMER. 140 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,572 I JUST LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. 141 00:06:42,573 --> 00:06:47,157 - YOU TOLD HER. - I DID NOT. TECHNICALLY. 142 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:50,740 LENNOX! 143 00:06:50,741 --> 00:06:54,794 SHE JUST GUESSED THAT SHE WAS GETTING A RING, OKAY? SHE'S A REALLY GOOD GUESSER. 144 00:06:54,795 --> 00:06:56,996 SHE GUESSED THAT ALL ON HER OWN? REALLY? 145 00:06:56,997 --> 00:06:59,999 I AM NOT TAKING QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME. 146 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,633 DON'T BE MAD AT LENNOX. SHE RESISTED FOR CLOSE TO THIRTY SECONDS. 147 00:07:03,634 --> 00:07:07,426 WELL, I WAS GOING TO GIVE IT TO YOU TONIGHT, BUT OKAY, FINE, I CAN GIVE IT TO YOU NOW. 148 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,679 I MEAN, IT'S BEEN RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU ALL WEEK. 149 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:10,970 OH, HOW DID I MISS IT? 150 00:07:10,971 --> 00:07:14,514 BECAUSE I HID IT BETWEEN LEAVES OF KALE. 151 00:07:14,515 --> 00:07:16,766 THE LAST PLACE I WOULD EVER LOOK! GENIUS! 152 00:07:16,767 --> 00:07:18,018 YOU KNOW, I HAVE MY MOMENTS. 153 00:07:19,109 --> 00:07:22,482 MMM... VELVETEEN. LIKE PETTING A FANCY LITTLE PUPPY. 154 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:24,944 YEAH. WELL, YOU KNOW, HONEY, I FELT REALLY BAD WHEN WE GOT MARRIED 155 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,617 AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE A SUPER NICE WEDDING RING. 156 00:07:27,618 --> 00:07:29,448 THAT JUST DIDN'T SEEM RIGHT TO ME. SO! 157 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,572 I DESIGNED THIS AND HAD IT MADE FOR YOU. 158 00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:36,996 JOE, IT'S... 159 00:07:36,997 --> 00:07:39,288 SO... 160 00:07:39,289 --> 00:07:41,340 - SO... - I KNOW. 161 00:07:41,341 --> 00:07:43,252 I'VE BEEN WORKING WITH A PROFESSIONAL JEWELER 162 00:07:43,253 --> 00:07:44,674 FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS ON THIS THING. 163 00:07:44,675 --> 00:07:47,847 SO THAT YOU WOULD HAVE A RING LIKE NO ONE ELSE'S. 164 00:07:47,848 --> 00:07:50,350 WELL, I DEFINITELY HAVE ONE OF THOSE NOW. 165 00:07:51,682 --> 00:07:52,932 YEAH, YOU SEE, HONEY... 166 00:07:52,933 --> 00:07:54,934 THE MOON, THERE, REPRESENTS YOU. 167 00:07:54,935 --> 00:07:56,766 RIGHT, YOU'RE MYSTERIOUS AND SEDUCTIVE. 168 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:59,599 THE SUN REPRESENTS ME, BRILLIANT AND POWERFUL. 169 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:03,564 AND THE TIDE, RIGHT HERE, REPRESENTS THE NEVER-ENDING RHYTHM OF OUR LOVE. 170 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,736 WOW. IT'S LIKE A MEANING JAMBALAYA. 171 00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:09,198 IT IS. IT WAS A LOT OF PRESSURE COMING UP WITH SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 172 00:08:09,199 --> 00:08:12,573 I MEAN, SOMETHING THAT YOU WERE GONNA WEAR EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 173 00:08:14,575 --> 00:08:18,748 OH, JOE, I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. 174 00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:21,831 OH, LENNOX, I HATE IT. I HATE IT SO MUCH. 175 00:08:21,832 --> 00:08:24,124 I'D RATHER WEAR THE LIFEHAMMER. WHAT DO I DO? 176 00:08:29,630 --> 00:08:32,633 I'M TRAPPED. NOW I HAVE TO WEAR THIS HIDEOUS THING FOREVER. 177 00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:36,225 - COME ON, THE RING'S NOT SO BAD. - REALLY? 178 00:08:36,226 --> 00:08:38,598 HAVE YOU SEEN IT UP CLOSE? YEAH, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THIS THING? 179 00:08:38,599 --> 00:08:41,852 IT'S GOLD, IT'S PLATINUM... AND WHAT IS THAT METAL RIGHT THERE? IS THAT WROUGHT IRON? 180 00:08:43,143 --> 00:08:44,855 IT'S LIKE A LITTLE JAIL FOR MY KNUCKLE. 181 00:08:46,486 --> 00:08:48,608 JOE DOESN'T KNOW ME AT ALL. 182 00:08:48,609 --> 00:08:51,491 I LOVE JOE, BUT I GOTTA SAY... I HATE THIS RING. 183 00:08:52,613 --> 00:08:54,414 WELL, YOU HATED JOE AT FIRST. 184 00:08:55,535 --> 00:09:00,660 SO, REALLY, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, THAT RING IS A GREAT SYMBOL FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP. 185 00:09:00,661 --> 00:09:02,792 COME ON, JOE POURED HIS HEART AND SOUL INTO THIS. 186 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:05,925 YEAH, AND HIS LIVER AND HIS PANCREAS AND THE KITCHEN SINK. 187 00:09:05,926 --> 00:09:08,047 WHAT DO I DO? 188 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,720 I DON'T KNOW. IF YOU TELL HIM YOU DON'T LIKE IT, IT'S REALLY GOING TO HURT HIS FEELINGS. 189 00:09:10,721 --> 00:09:13,803 - I KNOW... -I THOUGHT YOU LIKED SURPRISES. 190 00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:14,934 YEAH. GOOD SURPRISES. 191 00:09:14,935 --> 00:09:17,136 YOU KNOW, LIKE FINDING MONEY IN AN OLD PAIR OF PANTS. 192 00:09:17,137 --> 00:09:19,600 NOT RINGS THAT MAKE IT LOOK LIKE I WON THE SUPER BOWL OF BLECH. 193 00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:24,734 COME ON, AUNT MEL, JUST WEAR THE RING, FOR JOE. 194 00:09:24,735 --> 00:09:26,896 YEAH, I KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT. 195 00:09:26,897 --> 00:09:28,818 I CAN DO IT. 196 00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:31,570 I CAN LIE. I CAN LIE EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. 197 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,573 THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE JOE. 198 00:09:35,656 --> 00:09:37,036 YEAH. 199 00:09:37,037 --> 00:09:41,661 YOU KNOW WHAT? IN THIS LIGHT IT DOESN'T LOOK HALF BAD. 200 00:09:41,662 --> 00:09:47,046 IT'S UNIQUE. IT MAKES A STRONG STATEMENT, IT HAS A BEAUTY ALL OF IT'S OWN. 201 00:09:47,047 --> 00:09:49,048 SEE, IT'S GROWING ON YOU ALREADY. 202 00:09:49,049 --> 00:09:51,170 HA! FOOLED YOU! 203 00:09:51,171 --> 00:09:53,923 - IF THERE WAS AN OSCAR FOR BEST REAL LIFE ACTING... -IT'S CALLED LYING, AUNT MEL. 204 00:09:53,924 --> 00:09:56,175 I'D LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY. 205 00:09:56,176 --> 00:09:57,597 BUT NOT REALLY. BOOM, THAT'S TWO. 206 00:10:03,563 --> 00:10:06,395 ALL RIGHT I'M READY TO GO OUT FOR MY HAPPY BIRTHDAY DINNER. 207 00:10:06,396 --> 00:10:08,027 HEY, HEY, I AM READY TOO. 208 00:10:08,028 --> 00:10:09,729 ALMOST, YOUR TIE IS CROOKED. 209 00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:11,030 OH. 210 00:10:11,031 --> 00:10:13,492 HEY, YOU'RE NOT WEARING THE RING. 211 00:10:13,493 --> 00:10:16,285 WELL, YEAH, IT'S JUST SO NEW. 212 00:10:16,286 --> 00:10:19,739 AND SO... EXPRESSIVE. 213 00:10:19,740 --> 00:10:22,041 AND I WANTED TO SAVE IT FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION. 214 00:10:22,042 --> 00:10:24,413 ISN'T YOUR BIRTHDAY A SPECIAL OCCASION? 215 00:10:24,414 --> 00:10:28,168 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING. 216 00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:33,252 YEAH, THERE IT IS. LOOK AT THAT! TWENTY-FOUR CARATS OF LOVE, BABY. 217 00:10:33,253 --> 00:10:36,055 YEAH, AND IF SOME GUY TRIES TO MUG US IN THE PARKING LOT, 218 00:10:36,056 --> 00:10:38,257 ONE PUNCH WITH THIS DIAMOND STUDDED BAD BOY AND HE'S OUT COLD. 219 00:10:38,258 --> 00:10:40,139 (laughs) 220 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,141 I'M SO HAPPY YOU LIKE IT, HONEY. I MEAN, I HAVE TO ADMIT, I'M PRETTY RELIEVED. 221 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,643 I WAS NERVOUS, 'CAUSE I'VE NEVER DESIGNED JEWELRY BEFORE. 222 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,646 GET OUT! I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED. 223 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:50,730 YEAH, WELL, I JUST REALLY WANTED TO CREATE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL 224 00:10:50,731 --> 00:10:53,693 THAT, YOU KNOW, WOULD JUST MAKE YOU HAPPY. 225 00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:56,116 - WELL, YOU OUTDID YOURSELF, JOE. - SO YOU REALLY LOVE IT, HUH? 226 00:10:57,828 --> 00:11:01,831 YES. YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT MAKES A STRONG STATEMENT. 227 00:11:01,832 --> 00:11:03,953 AND IT HAS A BEAUTY ALL OF IT'S OWN. 228 00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:07,207 AND IS UNLIKE ANYTHING I HAVE EVER SEEN BEFORE. 229 00:11:09,129 --> 00:11:10,589 THAT'S SO SWEET. 230 00:11:10,590 --> 00:11:11,791 COME HERE. 231 00:11:11,792 --> 00:11:14,964 SO GO ON. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART? 232 00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:18,137 MY FAVORITE PART? WELL, YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T WANT TO PICK A FAVORITE PART 233 00:11:18,138 --> 00:11:21,931 BECAUSE THAT JUST WOULDN'T BE FAIR TO ALL OF THE OTHER AWESOME PARTS. 234 00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,303 THEY WOULD JUST FEEL BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES. 235 00:11:24,304 --> 00:11:27,146 WELL, THAT'S OKAY. YOU CAN JUST COMPLIMENT ALL OF THE PARTS. 236 00:11:27,147 --> 00:11:28,938 I CAN TAKE IT. 237 00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:32,652 WELL, OKAY, FIRST... I LIKE... 238 00:11:36,817 --> 00:11:38,447 WHAT WAS THAT FOR? 239 00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:41,620 WELL, YOU KNOW, I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR THE RING AND... 240 00:11:41,621 --> 00:11:44,785 YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES, THERE ARE NO WORDS. 241 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,090 GUESS WHO DELIVERS? 242 00:11:51,091 --> 00:11:54,754 - I DO. -I WAS THINKING THE THAI PLACE, I'M GONNA PUT IN THE ORDER. 243 00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:58,137 OKAY, WELL, YOU DO THE ORDERING OF THE TAKE OUT, AND I WILL DO THE ORDERING IN HERE. 244 00:11:58,138 --> 00:12:01,181 HEY-O, THAT SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 245 00:12:05,846 --> 00:12:07,396 YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ANY OF MY PANCAKES? 246 00:12:07,397 --> 00:12:09,398 COME ONE, I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU TURN DOWN MY PANCAKES BEFORE. 247 00:12:09,399 --> 00:12:12,021 OH, NO, I'M STILL A LITTLE QUEASY FROM THE THAI FOOD LAST NIGHT. 248 00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,775 I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE STOPPED EATING WHEN I FOUND THE BAND-AID IN THE PAD THAI. 249 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,487 OKAY, THROWING OUT ALL OF THE LEFTOVERS. 250 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,070 NO, WAIT, BUT EVERYTHING AROUND THE BAND-AID WAS SO GOOD. 251 00:12:21,071 --> 00:12:23,742 OKAY, YEAH, YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT. ANYWAY, I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT, HONEY. 252 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,744 HEY, HEY, HEY. ARE YOU WEARING THE RING? 253 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:29,498 OF COURSE! I'M GOING TO MAKE MY COWORKERS JEALOUS! 254 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,171 - I LOVE YOU. - LOVE YOU. 255 00:12:38,969 --> 00:12:40,299 CRAP. 256 00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:41,341 (sighs) 257 00:12:42,302 --> 00:12:44,094 CRAP, CRAPPITY CRAP, CRAP. 258 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:50,850 - OOH, DIBS ON THOSE PANCAKES. -GO AHEAD, YOUR AUNT DIDN'T WANT THEM. 259 00:12:50,851 --> 00:12:53,062 SO, HOW DID EVERYTHING GO LAST NIGHT? 260 00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,814 YOU, KNOW, ACTUALLY, IT REALLY DIDN'T GO THAT GREAT. 261 00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:57,857 I MEAN, I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING SOMETHING FOR MEL THAT SHE WAS REALLY GONNA LOVE, 262 00:12:57,858 --> 00:13:00,860 AND IT TURNED OUT I WAS WRONG AND IT LITERALLY MADE HER SICK. 263 00:13:00,861 --> 00:13:02,491 - SHE SAID THAT? - YEAH. 264 00:13:02,492 --> 00:13:04,703 AS A MATTER OF FACT, SHE SAID THAT SHE FELT SO NAUSEOUS 265 00:13:04,704 --> 00:13:06,035 THAT SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA THROW UP. 266 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:07,907 BECAUSE OF THE RING? 267 00:13:07,908 --> 00:13:09,788 NO, BECAUSE OF THE BAD THAI FOOD WE... 268 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,251 WHY DID YOU JUST SAY THE RING? 269 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:13,914 NO REASON. 270 00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:19,758 YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M ACTUALLY LATE FOR... NOT BEING HERE. 271 00:13:19,759 --> 00:13:23,382 LENNOX, SHE DIDN'T... SHE DIDN'T LIKE THE RING? 272 00:13:23,383 --> 00:13:26,055 UGH! PEOPLE SHOULD REALLY STOP TELLING ME STUFF. 273 00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:28,928 IT'S NOT FAIR TO ANYONE. ESPECIALLY ME. 274 00:13:28,929 --> 00:13:31,270 WHAT DID SHE SAY ABOUT THE RING, LENNOX? 275 00:13:31,271 --> 00:13:33,313 NOTHING. NOTHING YOU'D WANT TO HEAR. 276 00:13:35,525 --> 00:13:37,277 SHOW ME YOUR NOSE. 277 00:13:39,439 --> 00:13:41,941 WELL, SHE MIGHT HAVE SAID... 278 00:13:41,942 --> 00:13:44,865 "OH MY GOD, MY HUSBAND DOESN'T KNOW ME, IT'S HORRIBLE." 279 00:13:46,286 --> 00:13:47,868 SHE SAID THAT I DON'T KNOW HER? 280 00:13:49,039 --> 00:13:50,619 SHE SAID IT WAS HORRIBLE? 281 00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:53,793 NO, NO, NO, SHE DIDN'T SAY HORRIBLE. SHE SAID HIDEOUS. 282 00:13:57,457 --> 00:13:58,758 THANKS FOR TELLING ME. 283 00:14:01,051 --> 00:14:04,263 ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, AUNT MEL PROMISED TO PRETEND TO LIKE IT. 284 00:14:04,264 --> 00:14:07,726 SHE'S WILLING TO LIE TO YOU EVERYDAY, FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE. 285 00:14:07,727 --> 00:14:09,269 HOW SWEET IS THAT? 286 00:14:24,784 --> 00:14:25,825 NO! 287 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,914 JOE, I'M SO SORRY. 288 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:37,666 I WAS RUNNING THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL AND IT JUST SLIPPED OFF. 289 00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:40,129 I TRIED TO TURN IT OFF, BUT IT JUST KEPT GRINDING AND GRINDING. 290 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:44,094 UNTIL THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT BUT SPARKLING BEAUTY AND THOUGHTFUL SYMBOLISM. 291 00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:46,967 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S GONE. 292 00:14:50,770 --> 00:14:53,182 OOH, NO, I CAN'T DO IT. 293 00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:56,276 WAIT, YES I CAN. NO, I CAN'T. OH! WHY AM I SUCH A GOOD PERSON? 294 00:14:58,278 --> 00:15:00,279 OH, HEY, HONEY. I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COME HOME. 295 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,282 YEAH, I WAS JUST WASHING THE DIRT OFF MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT. 296 00:15:03,283 --> 00:15:05,904 YOU KNOW, WHY COULDN'T THE GANG AT WORK GIVE ME A GIFT CARD? 297 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:09,079 BECAUSE GIFT CARDS DON'T GET DIRTY AND THEY DON'T DIE WHEN I FORGET TO WATER THEM. 298 00:15:11,081 --> 00:15:15,164 YEAH, SO, DID EVERYONE GO NUTS FOR THE RING AT THE OFFICE THERE, HUH? 299 00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:17,296 - DID YOU GET A LOT OF COMPLIMENTS? - ARE YOU KIDDING? 300 00:15:17,297 --> 00:15:19,379 EVERYONE NOTICED, LOTS OF COMMENTS. 301 00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,091 HAVE YOU POSTED ANY PICS OF IT YET? 302 00:15:22,092 --> 00:15:25,214 NO, YOU KNOW HOW OBNOXIOUS ALL OF THOSE BRAGGING SELFIES ARE. 303 00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:27,216 LIKE, LOOK AT MY RING, BITCHES! 304 00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,178 YOU KNOW WHAT, LET ME TAKE A PICTURE OF IT NOW. 305 00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:31,310 NO, NO, NO, THE LIGHTING IN HERE ISN'T THAT GREAT. 306 00:15:31,311 --> 00:15:33,222 OH, IT'S OKAY, HONEY, LET'S... 307 00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:36,185 LET'S JUST GET ONE OF YOU SHOWING THE WORLD EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK OF THAT RING. 308 00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:38,017 YOU KNOW, HOW MUCH YOU LOVE IT BECAUSE YOUR HUSBAND 309 00:15:38,018 --> 00:15:41,151 REALLY PUT HIS HEART AND SOUL INTO MAKING IT, YOU KNOW, JUST TO SHOW YOU 310 00:15:42,522 --> 00:15:44,823 HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU. 311 00:15:44,824 --> 00:15:46,525 LENNOX RATTED ME OUT, DIDN'T SHE? 312 00:15:46,526 --> 00:15:48,197 WHY DO WE TELL HER ANYTHING? 313 00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:51,240 YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW YOU? YOU SAID THE RING IS HORRIBLE. 314 00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:53,332 AND THEN YOU LIED TO ME. 315 00:15:53,333 --> 00:15:56,335 I WASN'T LYING. I WAS JUST TRYING TO SPARE MY SWEET, ADORABLE HUSBAND'S FEELINGS. 316 00:15:56,336 --> 00:15:58,877 NOW LOOK, THE SWEET STUFF'S NOT GONNA WORK ON ME. ALL RIGHT? 317 00:15:58,878 --> 00:16:02,211 LOOK, YOU LOOKED ME RIGHT IN THE EYE, MEL, AND TOLD ME THINGS THAT WERE NOT TRUE. 318 00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:04,173 BUT IT WAS JUST A WHITE LIE. 319 00:16:04,174 --> 00:16:07,506 A DAZZLING, SPARKLING WHITE LIE WRAPPED IN A PLATINUM SETTING 320 00:16:07,507 --> 00:16:09,389 THAT WOULD LOOK GREAT WITH ANY OUTFIT I WEAR. 321 00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:14,763 WAIT A MINUTE. SO, YOU PRETEND TO LIKE THINGS YOU DON'T. 322 00:16:14,764 --> 00:16:16,725 IS THAT WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT WHEN WE WERE IN BED, HUH? 323 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:19,058 WHEN YOU CALLED MY NAME OUT LIKE THAT? 324 00:16:19,059 --> 00:16:21,310 HOW DO I KNOW YOU WEREN'T JUST SCREAMING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER? 325 00:16:21,311 --> 00:16:22,941 I WOULD NEVER DO THAT! 326 00:16:22,942 --> 00:16:25,864 OH, COME ON, MEL. YOU CALLED OUT MY MIDDLE NAME, TWICE! 327 00:16:25,865 --> 00:16:28,527 THAT'S HOW GOOD THE SEX WAS! I'VE NEVER CALLED OUT A GUY'S MIDDLE NAME BEFORE. 328 00:16:28,528 --> 00:16:29,609 I DON'T THINK... 329 00:16:31,071 --> 00:16:35,204 OH, HEY, I HATE TO BREAK IN TO THIS SUPER NONE-OF-MY-BUSINESS CONVERSATION 330 00:16:35,205 --> 00:16:37,706 BUT I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT IF YOU DON'T LEAVE NOW 331 00:16:37,707 --> 00:16:40,789 YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE TO THAT MOVIE THAT YOU GUYS WERE SO EXCITED TO SEE. 332 00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:43,172 GO TO A MOVIE? IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT? I DON'T THINK SO. 333 00:16:43,173 --> 00:16:45,294 NO, NO, NO, WE HAVE TO GO TO THIS MOVIE, HONEY. 334 00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:48,387 - WE CAN SEE IT TOMORROW. - NO, WE HAVE TO SEE IT TONIGHT. 335 00:16:48,388 --> 00:16:51,181 - IN FACT, SHE'S RIGHT, WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW. -WHY? 336 00:16:52,392 --> 00:16:54,474 - I CAN'T TELL YOU. - WELL, IT'S BECAUSE... 337 00:16:56,596 --> 00:16:59,188 NOTHING, I'M DONE SAYING STUFF. 338 00:16:59,189 --> 00:17:01,440 OKAY, WHAT IS GOING ON? 339 00:17:01,441 --> 00:17:03,942 LISTEN, WE HAVE TO GO TO THE MOVIE RIGHT NOW. 340 00:17:03,943 --> 00:17:06,855 OKAY, AND THEN WE'RE GONNA GET THERE BUT WE'RE GOING TO BE A LITTLE EARLY FOR THE SHOW 341 00:17:06,856 --> 00:17:09,948 SO, WE'RE GONNA DECIDE TO GO ACROSS THE STREET AND GRAB A DRINK AT THE NEW HOTEL. 342 00:17:09,949 --> 00:17:13,282 WHERE THERE WILL BE SIXTY PEOPLE HIDING IN A DARK BANQUET ROOM 343 00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:16,035 READY TO JUMP OUT AND SCREAM "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" 344 00:17:17,157 --> 00:17:21,290 - A SURPRISE PARTY? -LET THE RECORD SHOW, I SAID NOTHING ABOUT THE PARTY. 345 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:24,124 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO GO HIDE IN THE DARK WITH YOUR WEIRD FRIENDS. 346 00:17:26,666 --> 00:17:29,338 SERIOUSLY? YOU PLANNED A SURPRISE PARTY? 347 00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:31,300 WAIT, BUT MY BIRTHDAY WAS YESTERDAY. 348 00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:32,971 I KNOW! IT WAS PART OF MY STRATEGY. 349 00:17:32,972 --> 00:17:36,175 OOH, JUST LIKE THE KALE. AGAIN, GENIUS. 350 00:17:36,176 --> 00:17:38,347 WELL, I'VE BEEN WORKING ON IT FOR LIKE SIX MONTHS. 351 00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:40,349 I LOVE SURPRISE PARTIES, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ONE! 352 00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:42,771 I KNOW, I KNOW. GUESS WHO I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM? 353 00:17:42,772 --> 00:17:45,354 SARAH MILSTEIN WHO JUST GOT OFF THE PLANE. 354 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:47,025 MILTIE? MY FRESHMAN ROOMMATE? I LOVE HER! 355 00:17:47,026 --> 00:17:48,777 I KNOW. 356 00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:51,900 AND THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE EVENING, HONEY, AN ICE LUGE FOR THE VODKA BAR. 357 00:17:51,901 --> 00:17:54,153 AN ICE LUGE? YOU MEAN WHERE THE DRINKS GO ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND 358 00:17:54,154 --> 00:17:56,785 AND COME OUT CHILLED AT THE BOTTOM? OH, I LOVE THOSE! 359 00:17:56,786 --> 00:18:00,749 A SURPRISE PARTY? AN ICE LUGE? JOE... 360 00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:03,582 - YOU REALLY DO KNOW ME. - YEAH, WELL, MOST OF THE TIME. 361 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,205 ALL RIGHT, JUST HURRY UP AND GET READY SO WE CAN "GO SEE THE MOVIE." 362 00:18:06,206 --> 00:18:07,966 - WE CAN FIGHT LATER. - NO, NO, NO. 363 00:18:07,967 --> 00:18:10,088 WHY WOULD I WANT TO FIGHT WITH MY THOUGHTFUL, WONDERFUL HUSBAND? 364 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:13,512 - YOU REALLY MEAN THAT? - I DO, OF COURSE I DO! 365 00:18:13,513 --> 00:18:16,215 I SWEAR ON THIS BIG, UGLY RING. 366 00:18:16,216 --> 00:18:18,387 YOU DON'T NEED TO BE THAT HONEST. 367 00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:22,311 COME ON, LET'S GET READY FOR MY PARTY. THERE'S AN ICE LUGE WITH MY NAME ON IT. 368 00:18:22,312 --> 00:18:24,223 ACTUALLY, IT DOES HAVE YOUR NAME ON IT. 369 00:18:24,224 --> 00:18:27,066 FOR REAL? THIS IS ALREADY THE BEST PARTY EVER! 370 00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:33,822 THAT WAS SO FUN AND CRAZY! 371 00:18:33,823 --> 00:18:37,075 YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW? BECAUSE I CAN'T REMEMBER A THING ABOUT IT. 372 00:18:37,076 --> 00:18:39,077 WAIT, WAIT! 373 00:18:39,078 --> 00:18:42,622 DID SARAH MILSTEIN SKINNY DIP IN THE ICE LUGE? 374 00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:48,126 - YES, SHE REALLY DID. - CLASSIC MILTIE. 375 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,630 I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S LEAVING HER HUSBAND FOR HER CHIROPRACTOR. 376 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:55,384 - SHE'S WHAT? - NOTHING. 377 00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:56,966 I DID NOT TELL YOU THAT. 378 00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,349 GOOD NIGHT. 379 00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:04,102 I LOVE MY CUTE, BIG-MOUTHED NIECE. 380 00:19:04,103 --> 00:19:06,435 THAT ONE WILL NEVER BE A MOB WIFE. 381 00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:09,818 HEY, HOW COME YOU DIDN'T LET ME TAKE HOME THE LAST OF THE ICE LUGE? 382 00:19:09,819 --> 00:19:12,941 BECAUSE, HONEY, IT WAS A PUDDLE AND YOU WERE DRINKING VODKA OUT OF A BUCKET. 383 00:19:12,942 --> 00:19:15,073 I LOVE BUCKET VODKA! 384 00:19:15,074 --> 00:19:16,275 I LOVE ALL VODKA. 385 00:19:16,276 --> 00:19:21,370 OOH, OOH, OOH, IF WE GET A PUPPY, LET'S NAME IT VODKA. 386 00:19:21,371 --> 00:19:23,332 YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? NOT, MERLOT? 387 00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:26,044 NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. MERLOT IS BETTER. 388 00:19:26,045 --> 00:19:27,376 - OH. - AW. 389 00:19:27,377 --> 00:19:31,380 YOU KNOW ME SO WELL. I HAVE THE BEST HUSBAND IN THE WHOLE WORLD. 390 00:19:31,381 --> 00:19:34,713 YOU THREW ME THE BEST BIRTHDAY PARTY, EVER! 391 00:19:34,714 --> 00:19:37,716 I MEAN, YOU REALLY THREW ME OFF THE SCENT 392 00:19:37,717 --> 00:19:39,598 WITH THAT HORRIBLE LIFEHAMMER. 393 00:19:39,599 --> 00:19:41,560 THAT WAS A GREAT DECOY, RIGHT? 394 00:19:41,561 --> 00:19:44,893 NO, BUT SERIOUSLY? DON'T GET RID OF THAT THING. 'CAUSE IT COULD HONESTLY SAVE YOUR LIFE ONE DAY. 395 00:19:44,894 --> 00:19:48,518 AND THE RING? SO FREAKING THOUGHTFUL! 396 00:19:49,649 --> 00:19:53,071 YEAH, NO, I MISSED THE BOAT WITH THAT ONE. 397 00:19:53,072 --> 00:19:54,943 - WHAT? -YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR IT, HONEY. 398 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:57,277 NO, I'M WEARING IT RIGHT NOW. 399 00:19:58,408 --> 00:20:02,080 YOU... YOU REALLY SEE A RING ON THAT FINGER? 'CAUSE IF YOU DO I'M... 400 00:20:02,081 --> 00:20:04,032 I'M EVEN HAPPIER NOW THAT I JUST DROVE HOME. 401 00:20:04,033 --> 00:20:07,287 NO, I TOLD YOU I'D WEAR IT AND I ALWAYS KEEP MY PROMISES. 402 00:20:09,419 --> 00:20:11,750 - YOU'RE HIDING IT? - NO, I'M NOT HIDING IT. 403 00:20:11,751 --> 00:20:13,592 I'M KEEPING IT CLOSE TO MY HEART. 404 00:20:13,593 --> 00:20:17,547 THAT WAY IF I EVER NEED TO FEEL THE DEPTH OF YOUR LOVE IJUST GO LIKE THIS... WHOOO! 405 00:20:21,301 --> 00:20:22,722 YOU REALLY DO KNOW ME. 406 00:20:26,806 --> 00:20:29,147 - GOOD MORNING. - GOOD MORNING! 407 00:20:29,148 --> 00:20:31,810 - WHAT'S ALL THIS? -THIS, IS ANOTHER SPECIAL BREAKFAST. 408 00:20:31,811 --> 00:20:33,402 BECAUSE IT'S MY BIRTHDAY WEEK? 409 00:20:33,403 --> 00:20:34,903 OH, HONEY, COME ON, WE BOTH KNOW YOU'RE GOING 410 00:20:34,904 --> 00:20:36,695 TO BE RIDING THIS BIRTHDAY TRAIN FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH. 411 00:20:36,696 --> 00:20:41,069 OH, YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU DO KNOW ME. ALL ABOARD! 412 00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:45,494 ALRIGHT, IN THIS DINING CAR WE'VE GOT EGGS FLORENTINE. 413 00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:48,076 WE'VE GOT POTATOES ANNA. 414 00:20:48,077 --> 00:20:50,419 THANK YOU, ANNA. WHOEVER YOU ARE. 415 00:20:50,420 --> 00:20:54,172 AND WE HAVE A BELGIUM WAFFLE WITH CREME FRAICHE. 416 00:20:54,173 --> 00:20:55,964 OH, SAY IT LIKE YOU'RE FRENCH. 417 00:20:55,965 --> 00:20:59,508 (French accent) WE HAVE THE BELGIUM WAFFLE WITH THE CREME FRAICHE. 418 00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:01,140 IF I DIDN'T WANT TO JUMP THIS WAFFLE, I'D JUMP YOU. 419 00:21:02,382 --> 00:21:05,844 AND TO TOP IT ALL OF, HONEY, A LITTLE FRESHLY SQUEEZED PASSION FRUIT JUICE 420 00:21:05,845 --> 00:21:08,807 WITH A SPLASH OF CHAMPAGNE. 421 00:21:08,808 --> 00:21:11,059 WHAT? NO CAKE? 422 00:21:11,060 --> 00:21:16,104 I'M KIDDING. I'M KIDDING, SO KIDDING. AW, THIS IS WONDERFUL! 423 00:21:16,105 --> 00:21:18,777 YEAH, THERE ACTUALLY IS A LITTLE CAKE LEFT OVER FROM YESTERDAY. 424 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,279 OH, THANK GOD! 425 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,282 CAKE FOR BREAKFAST! CAKE FOR BREAKFAST!