1
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[ENGINE ROARING]

2
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[TIRES SQUEALING]

3
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CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY WERNER
PRODUCTIONS AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

4
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ERIC, IT IS TIME.

5
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WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?

6
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IT'S YOUR HOUSE.

7
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YOUR HOUSE.

8
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LISTEN TO THEM UP THERE.

9
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THE PARTY HAS REACHED
CRITICAL MASS.

10
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:31,405
IN 10 MINUTES, THERE WILL BE
NO MORE BEER OPPORTUNITIES.

11
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IF MY DAD CATCHES ME
COPPING BEERS, HE'LL KILL ME.

12
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I'M WILLING TO TAKE THAT RISK.

13
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DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

14
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JUST REMAIN CALM,

15
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KEEP MOVING...

16
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AND ABOVE ALL,

17
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DON'T GET SUCKED
INTO MY DAD'S HAIR.

18
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:46,823
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YOUR DAD'S HAIR?

19
00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:49,465
JUST DON'T LOOK AT IT.

20
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AND, ERIC...

21
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COLD.

22
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DEFINITELY COLD.

23
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[CAPTAIN AND TENILLE'S
LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER]

24
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♪ YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL ♪

25
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♪ SOMEDAY YOUR LOOKS
WILL BE GONE ♪

26
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,525
OH! OH! WATCH IT, ERIC.
HOT PIZZA ROLLS.

27
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COMING THROUGH. HOT. HOT.

28
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KITTY, WHERE ARE YOU?

29
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OK. TAKE TWO. THERE'S PLENTY.
THERE'S PLENTY COMING.

30
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IS EVERYBODY GOOD?

31
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I KNOW. I KNOW.

32
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VIENNA SAUSAGES
ARE SO VERSATILE.

33
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♪ LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER ♪

34
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,876
HI THERE, ERIC. HA HA HA HA HA!

35
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,336
Eric: MR. PINCIOTTI.

36
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SO, ERIC, HOW DO YOU
LIKE BOB'S NEW HAIR?

37
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ISN'T IT GROOVY?

38
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IT'S INCREDIBLY GROOVY,
MRS. PINCIOTTI.

39
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AH, YEAH.

40
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IT WAS MIDGE'S IDEA.

41
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IT'S A PERM.

42
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ERIC.

43
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HI, DAD.

44
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WHAT THE HELL
HAPPENED TO BOB'S HAIR?

45
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,399
BEATS ME.

46
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:52,903
HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE
A POODLE'S ASS.

47
00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:55,823
BOY, JUST WHEN YOU THINK
YOU'VE SEEN EVERYTHING...

48
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A POODLE'S ASS
WALKS INTO YOUR PARTY.

49
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,284
ERIC, DON'T USE THE "ASS" WORD.

50
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YOU'RE STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL.

51
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:02,287
YES, SIR.

52
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:05,624
OK. PIGS IN A BLANKET. HOT. HOT.

53
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,210
KITTY, IS THAT YOUR
TOYOTA IN THE DRIVE?

54
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RED...

55
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:10,546
A TOYOTA?

56
00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:12,297
YEAH, IT'S MINE.

57
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,132
I'LL TELL YA, THE LAST TIME

58
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I WAS THAT CLOSE TO
A JAPANESE MACHINE,

59
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IT WAS SHOOTING AT ME.

60
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WELL, HONEY, IT IS THE
GAS CRISIS. WHAT CAN YOU DO?

61
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:21,890
AND YOU KNOW, BOB,

62
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,213
THOSE S.O.B. S AT THE DEALERSHIP

63
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:26,770
OFFERED ME A LOUSY $400 TRADE-IN
ON THE VISTA CRUISER.

64
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,856
AH, WHAT YOU GONNA DO?

65
00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:32,067
IT'LL RUST IN THE DRIVEWAY
BEFORE I TRADE IT IN.

66
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HONEY, IT IS RUSTING
IN THE DRIVEWAY.

67
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HEY, POP, I'LL TAKE
THE CRUISER OFF YOUR HANDS.

68
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I DON'T CARE
IF IT'S A PUMP SUCKER.

69
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:40,659
WHAT YOU GOT THERE, ERIC?

70
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BEER.

71
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:46,123
I FOUND IT JUST SITTING...

72
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YOU KNOW...

73
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AROUND.

74
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WELL, PUT 'EM AWAY, SON.

75
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:54,047
WHY, I INTEND TO, SIR.

76
00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:57,426
OH, HONEY, HONEY,
ON YOUR WAY TO THE BASEMENT,

77
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:58,927
COULD YOU POP THESE
IN THE FRIDGE?

78
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THEY'RE WARM.

79
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HA HA HA HA!

80
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[MUSIC PLAYING]

81
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,521
CHECK THAT OUT.

82
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I SEE THAT EVERY DAY.

83
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HE'S ALIVE!

84
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GOOD NEWS.

85
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:21,992
MY DAD...

86
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:24,286
IS THINKING OF GIVING ME...

87
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,662
THE VISTA CRUISER.

88
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,039
YOU'RE GETTING A CAR?

89
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,832
OOH. HAVE I TOLD YOU HOW

90
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INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE
YOU ARE, ERIC?

91
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,461
NO.

92
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,421
Michael: YOU TOLD ME
HE WAS CUTE.

93
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:35,380
NO, I DIDN'T.

94
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:36,173
I REMEMBER, 'CAUSE YOU SAID

95
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,635
NOT TO SAY ANYTHING
IN FRONT OF ERIC.

96
00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:41,845
LET'S FOCUS ON WHAT'S
IMPORTANT HERE, PEOPLE.

97
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,055
FORMAN STOLE SOMETHING.

98
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:43,889
TO FORMAN!

99
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,725
- ALL RIGHT!!

100
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,602
YOU KNOW WHAT'S SAD?

101
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:52,189
THIS IS THE PROUDEST
DAY OF MY LIFE.

102
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♪ HANGING OUT ♪

103
00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:01,156
♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪

104
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:04,826
♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪

105
00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:08,247
♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪

106
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:12,334
♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪

107
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:15,754
♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪

108
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,882
♪ WHOA, YEAH ♪♪

109
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:23,887
HELLO, WISCONSIN!

110
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,516
WOW, MARCIA.
A FOOTBALL IN THE FACE.

111
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THAT'S GOTTA HURT.

112
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,602
OUCH! MY NOSE!

113
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,187
THAT'S GONNA BE HUGE
IN THE MORNING.

114
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,355
HUGER THAN MY BOOBS?

115
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:36,108
WELL, BIGGER THAN THE LEFT ONE.

116
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,068
WHY ARE WE WATCHING
THIS WITHOUT THE SOUND?

117
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:41,363
I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED.

118
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,490
HERE. USE THE EARPHONE.

119
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,244
SO...

120
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,954
WHAT'S THE DEAL
WITH THE VISTA CRUISER?

121
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,580
THE DEAL IS,
THERE IS NO DEAL YET.

122
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,332
SHH!

123
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,503
HOW ARE WE GONNA
GET TO THE CONCERT?

124
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:57,754
SHH! SHUT UP.

125
00:04:57,922 --> 00:04:59,172
WHAT CONCERT?

126
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:00,632
UH...

127
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:01,842
TODD RUNDGREN.

128
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,218
WHEN?

129
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,553
THIS WEEKEND.

130
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,305
OH, WHO'S GOING?

131
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,683
UH...

132
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,685
ERIC AND DONNA AND ME AND HYDE

133
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,603
AND THE FOREIGN KID, FEZ.

134
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PRETTY MUCH EVERYBODY.

135
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:17,983
AND YOU.

136
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:18,900
OH.

137
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,527
GOOD. GOOD. GOOD. GOOD.

138
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,572
THANK YOU
FOR TELLING ME, MICHAEL!

139
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:24,531
WELL, I'M GETTING A SODA.

140
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:25,449
YEP. ME TOO.

141
00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:27,200
SIT DOWN.

142
00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:35,042
YOU DON'T WANT ME TO GO
TO THE CONCERT, IS THAT IT?

143
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:37,836
I DIDN'T KNOW
IF YOU LIKED MUSIC.

144
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,463
MICHAEL!

145
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:40,950
I DIDN'T INVITE YOU
TO THE CONCERT

146
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:44,301
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU REALLY
DON'T LIKE MY FRIENDS.

147
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:45,552
DID YOU TELL THEM THAT?

148
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:46,345
NO.

149
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:48,513
MICHAEL, DON'T TELL
OUR PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS

150
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:49,806
TO OTHER PEOPLE, MICHAEL.

151
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:54,144
WE HAVE TO HAVE OUR OWN
PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS.

152
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:57,105
ALSO, I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BE
INTERESTED IN TODD RUNDGREN.

153
00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:59,858
I MEAN, LIKE YOU SAID,
HE'S NO FRAMPTON.

154
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,277
I LOVE TODD RUNDGREN.

155
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:06,823
I HAVE THE 45 OF HELLO, IT'S ME.

156
00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:08,450
REMEMBER THE NIGHT
WE LISTENED TO IT?

157
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,035
WE CAN HAVE FUN AT THE CONCERT,

158
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,995
ESPECIALLY IN THE CAR
ON THE WAY BACK.

159
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,373
OK, YOU CAN GO.

160
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:15,957
ONLY IF YOU WANT ME TO.

161
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:17,709
OH, I WANT YOU TO.

162
00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:21,463
JACKIE...

163
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,351
I GUESS YOU'RE GOING
TO THE CONCERT WITH US.

164
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,634
YEAH!

165
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,345
MM-HMM. I CAN'T WAIT.

166
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,888
SO, MICHAEL,

167
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,556
YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO MY HOUSE

168
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,600
AND LISTEN TO
TODD RUNDGREN RECORDS?

169
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:35,352
YEAH. SURE.

170
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,104
OK. BYE.

171
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,107
YOU KIDS HAVE FUN! BYE!

172
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,775
BYE-BYE NOW!

173
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:43,026
OH, THEY'RE SO DARN CUTE.

174
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:43,944
THE MINUTE YOU TURN YOUR BACK,

175
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,278
THEY GO AT IT LIKE DOGS.

176
00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:46,905
OOH, THEY'RE FRISKY.

177
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:47,823
YOU CAN'T LEAVE THEM ALONE.

178
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:50,075
NO.

179
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,785
YOU KNOW...

180
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:53,703
MY SISTER THINKS THAT WE...

181
00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:55,872
SHOULDN'T BE LEFT ALONE.

182
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,249
US?

183
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,000
YES.

184
00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:05,215
WE'RE ALONE NOW.

185
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,342
WELL...

186
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,094
YEAH.

187
00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:13,056
ERIC...

188
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,224
RELAX.

189
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,475
WE'VE LIVED NEXT DOOR
TO EACH OTHER FOREVER.

190
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:19,646
YOU COULD HAVE HAD ME
WHEN I WAS 4.

191
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,606
REALLY?

192
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:25,277
AND THERE I WAS ALL DAY LONG
ON THE HIPPITY-HOP.

193
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,029
STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!

194
00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:30,031
STUPID!

195
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:31,783
STUPID.

196
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:39,374
EVER SINCE YESTERDAY,

197
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,377
I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU.

198
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:43,879
I MEAN,

199
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:47,549
I'VE KNOWN YOU
PRACTICALLY MY WHOLE LIFE.

200
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:50,427
I WANT YOU.

201
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:53,555
I WANT YOU SO BAD.

202
00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:57,309
ERIC, IT'S A CAR.

203
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:02,522
LET'S JUST LEAVE
THESE TWO KIDS ALONE.

204
00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:04,316
YEAH.

205
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,234
SAY, HEY THERE, DONNA.

206
00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:08,069
HEY, DAD.

207
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:09,446
AH, YOU KIDS.

208
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,282
STANDING AROUND THE DRIVEWAY.

209
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:15,410
IT'S SO DARN CUTE.

210
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,162
YOU KNOW,
YOU MAY NOT REALIZE IT,

211
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:22,584
BUT THIS IS THE MOST FUN
YOU'RE EVER GONNA HAVE.

212
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,003
SO IT'S ALL DOWNHILL
FROM HERE, SIR?

213
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,755
YEAH.

214
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,721
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR DAD'S HAIR?

215
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,849
HE GOT A PERMANENT.

216
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,728
SO THAT'S PERMANENT?

217
00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:47,192
♪ BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY,
BABY, OH ♪

218
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:53,865
I MAY NOT SAY THIS RIGHT
BECAUSE I AM NEW TO ENGLISH...

219
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:57,327
BUT SHE HAS
TREMENDOUS BREASTS, YES?

220
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:02,082
MICHAEL, WHO IS THIS GUY?

221
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,250
OH, THAT'S FEZ.

222
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:05,377
HE'S A FOREIGN EXCHANGE STUDENT.

223
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,504
WHO DO WE EXCHANGE FOR HIM?

224
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:12,342
DONNA, I HAVE TO GO
TO THE LADIES' ROOM.

225
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,469
DONNA!

226
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:20,517
I, TOO, MUST GO TO THE BATHROOM.

227
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:24,354
ERIC?

228
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:27,482
NO, IT... DOESN'T WORK
THAT WAY WITH GUYS.

229
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,737
KELSO, HOW MUCH LONGER

230
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:34,656
ARE WE GONNA HAVE
TO DEAL WITH THE WHOLE

231
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,408
JACKIE EXPERIENCE?

232
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,784
DON'T WORRY.

233
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:38,952
I'M BREAKING UP WITH HER.

234
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:39,703
NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.

235
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,580
IT'S OVER.

236
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,331
SHE'S CUTTIN' IN
TO MY FREE TIME.

237
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,629
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICES] ♪ I... ♪

238
00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:53,300
♪ AM HOOKED ON A FEELING ♪

239
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:56,636
♪ I'M HIGH ON BELIEVING ♪♪

240
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:01,474
SO, IS RED STILL THINKING ABOUT
GIVING YOU THE CAR MAYBE?

241
00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,226
[SNORT SNORT]

242
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,438
HA HA.

243
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,647
EVEN IF WE DO GET IT,

244
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:10,108
WE'RE GONNA NEED
SOME SERIOUS GAS MONEY,

245
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,445
'CAUSE THE CRUISER'S A BOAT.

246
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,656
I KNOW IT'S A BOAT.

247
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:19,618
THIS WHOLE GAS SHORTAGE BITES.

248
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,580
WHO'S GETTING A BOAT?

249
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,791
THERE IS NO GAS SHORTAGE, MAN.

250
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,835
IT'S ALL FAKE.

251
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:31,588
THE OIL COMPANIES
CONTROL EVERYTHING.

252
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:34,466
LIKE, THERE'S THIS GUY
WHO INVENTED THIS CAR...

253
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,593
THAT RUNS ON WATER, MAN.

254
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,595
IT'S GOT A FIBERGLASS,
AIR-COOLED ENGINE

255
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:41,431
AND IT RUNS ON WATER.

256
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:44,726
SO IT IS A BOAT.

257
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:52,233
NO, IT'S A CAR.

258
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:55,904
ONLY YOU PUT WATER IN
THE GAS TANK INSTEAD OF GAS.

259
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:57,864
HA HA HA HA.

260
00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,784
AND IT RUNS ON WATER, MAN!

261
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:10,335
I NEVER HEARD OF THIS CAR.

262
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,088
HEY, JACKIE'S GOOD
FOR GAS MONEY.

263
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:17,342
YOU ARE SUCH A WHORE.

264
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:21,554
WHEN DOES THE BOAT
GET HERE, WHORE?

265
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:25,850
ERIC!

266
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:26,810
YEAH, DAD?

267
00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:28,561
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!

268
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:31,398
ERIC...

269
00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:34,609
YOUR MOTHER AND I
HAVE BEEN TALKING.

270
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:39,030
SINCE I'VE BEEN CUT BACK
TO PART-TIME AT THE PLANT...

271
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,783
AND THE, UH, THE HOSPITAL
IS SO CLOSE,

272
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,284
I CAN TAKE THE TOYOTA TO WORK,

273
00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:46,996
AND YOUR MOM CAN TAKE THE BUS.

274
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,667
HONEY...

275
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,377
HONEY, REALLY, I'D RATHER WALK.

276
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,337
WHEN I RIDE THE BUS
IN MY NURSE'S UNIFORM,

277
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:57,549
PEOPLE ALWAYS SHOW ME
THEIR SCARS.

278
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,217
THEN I'LL DROP YOU OFF
ON MY WAY TO THE PLANT.

279
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,010
WELL, NO. I DON'T WANT
TO BE ANY TROUBLE.

280
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:01,886
THEN ERIC CAN DROP YOU OFF.

281
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,054
OH HONEY, HE'S A TEENAGER.

282
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:03,722
HE DOESN'T WANT TO DROP OFF-

283
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,849
WELL, IF HE CAN'T DROP HIS
OWN MOTHER OFF AT WORK,

284
00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:07,896
WELL THEN, I'LL BE DAMNED
IF HE'S GETTING A CAR.

285
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:08,727
OK.

286
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,061
EXCUSE ME.

287
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,521
AM I GETTING THE CAR?

288
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:14,399
WE DIDN'T SAY THAT.

289
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,569
THINGS DON'T JUST DROP
INTO YOUR LAP, ERIC.

290
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,863
NOT IN THIS LIFE.

291
00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:24,033
A CAR IS A RESPONSIBILITY.

292
00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:25,201
YOU'LL NEED INSURANCE.

293
00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:28,288
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW MUCH INSURANCE IS?

294
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,081
A CAR IS A PRIVILEGE.

295
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:33,209
OIL CHANGES, ROAD FLARES...

296
00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:36,504
FLUIDS. THAT'S YOUR JOB!

297
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:40,633
A CAR IS NOT
A BEDROOM ON WHEELS.

298
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:43,344
ALWAYS YIELD. ALWAYS.

299
00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:48,767
LAURIE'S FRIEND GOT PREGNANT
IN A CAR. DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN.

300
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:52,812
IF I FIND ONE BEER CAN
IN THAT CAR, IT'S OVER.

301
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:57,692
AND NO DOUGHNUTS, EITHER.

302
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,444
ANTS.

303
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:03,031
SO...

304
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:05,325
DO I GET THE CAR?

305
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:15,084
BITCHING!

306
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:16,795
ERIC.

307
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,506
NOT IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER.

308
00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:21,674
THANK YOU, POP...

309
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:22,967
SIR.

310
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,929
YEAH. WELL...

311
00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:28,389
CLEAN THE ATTIC.

312
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:37,232
KELSO, THAT'S SWEET.

313
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:38,900
ACTUALLY, I'M RIDING SHOTGUN.

314
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,068
NO, YOU'RE NOT.

315
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,861
WELL, I'M NOT RIDING
IN THE BACK.

316
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:43,905
WHY DON'T WE LET ERIC DECIDE?

317
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,073
ERIC?

318
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,491
KELSO...

319
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,618
GET IN THE BACK.

320
00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:53,414
TAKING IT FOR A SPIN, EH?

321
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:54,374
YES, SIR.

322
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,543
WELL, HAVE A GOOD TIME.

323
00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:57,836
OH, UH...

324
00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:58,711
ONE MORE THING.

325
00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:01,214
VERY IMPORTANT. ABOUT THE CAR.

326
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,716
SHE'S OLD, SO...

327
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:05,426
NO TRIPS OUT OF TOWN.

328
00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:07,345
EVER.

329
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:08,888
UNDERSTOOD?

330
00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:10,348
WELL...

331
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:14,686
HAVE FUN.

332
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,564
WELL, I GUESS THAT'S THAT.
WE'RE NOT GOING.

333
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:19,315
ERIC, DO YOU WANT TO GO?

334
00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:20,775
HE SAID NO TRIPS OUT OF TOWN.

335
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,111
IT'S YOUR CAR.
DO YOU WANT TO GO?

336
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,280
HE'S GOD.

337
00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:29,075
I THINK GOD WOULD WANT US
TO GO TO MILWAUKEE.

338
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:32,495
ERIC, YOU ARE A 17-YEAR-OLD MAN.

339
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,330
I'M GONNA GO WITH
WHATEVER YOU SAY.

340
00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:37,458
IT'S YOUR DECISION.

341
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,919
IT IS MY DECISION.

342
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:42,797
AND MY DECISION IS...

343
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:43,965
WE'RE GOING TO A CONCERT.

344
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,550
YEAH!

345
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,219
[CAR LEAVING]

346
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:49,679
OH.

347
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:51,180
THE KIDS ARE OFF.

348
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,057
I WONDER WHERE THEY'RE GOING.

349
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:57,395
OUT OF TOWN.

350
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,897
ARE YOU SURE?

351
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:00,440
OF COURSE.

352
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,567
I TOLD THEM NOT TO.

353
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:10,408
SO I GUESS THEY'LL BE GONE
FOR A WHILE.

354
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,160
YEAH.

355
00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:17,749
LET'S GO.

356
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,884
I'M TELLING YOU,
WE'RE OUT OF GAS.

357
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,260
WE'RE NOT OUT OF GAS.

358
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,638
IT'S THE BATTERY.

359
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:33,556
IT'S 6 YEARS OLD
AND SHOT TO HELL.

360
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:35,183
I KNOW WHAT.

361
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,351
I'LL JUST CALL MY DAD.

362
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,478
KELSO, TELL HER.

363
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,188
HE CAN'T TAKE THE CAR
OUT OF TOWN.

364
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:42,023
I'M NOT CALLING HIS DAD.

365
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,441
JACKIE...

366
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:44,984
PARENTS TALK TO EACH OTHER

367
00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:48,988
ABOUT HOW WE SCREW UP.

368
00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:50,740
WHY WOULD THEY TALK ABOUT THAT?

369
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:51,908
THEY CAN'T HELP IT.

370
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:53,785
LOOK, SAY THERE'S A PARTY, SEE.

371
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,371
AND ALL OF OUR PARENTS
ARE THERE. TOGETHER.

372
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:58,122
HI, RED. SAY, ISN'T IT GREAT

373
00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:02,001
ALL OUR KIDS
ARE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS?

374
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:04,045
YES, JACKIE'S DAD.

375
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:08,633
THEY'RE QUITE THE GANG OF
YOUNG PEOPLE. HA HA HA HA!

376
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,928
[HIGH-PITCHED] KITTY, I LOVE WHAT
YOU'VE DONE WITH THE KITCHEN!

377
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:15,974
YES. AQUA AND YELLOW.
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

378
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:18,851
YAK, YAK, YAK.

379
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:19,811
SPEAKING OF KIDS,

380
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,981
WASN'T IT LUCKY AAA PULLED
ERIC'S BUTT OUT OF THE FIRE

381
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,428
WHEN HE TOOK
THE CAR TO MILWAUKEE

382
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:27,360
WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION?

383
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:28,528
WHAT?

384
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,113
WHY, THAT TWISTED LITTLE MONKEY.

385
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,699
I'M GROUNDING HIM FOR 10 YEARS.

386
00:16:32,866 --> 00:16:35,118
KIDS. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

387
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:36,285
I SAY WE TORTURE THEM

388
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:41,249
WITH PLENTY OF POINTLESS
RULES AND ADVICE.

389
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:42,417
HEY, EVERYBODY,

390
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:44,961
LET'S HUSTLE.

391
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:53,129
[ALL HUMMING FROM SONG
DO THE HUSTLE]

392
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,433
NOW... WE ARE IN
THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE,

393
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:02,270
AND I HAVE TO GO
TO THE LADIES' ROOM.

394
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,397
DONNA?

395
00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:06,983
SO...

396
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,609
WHERE YOU GOING?

397
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:09,861
RUNDGREN CONCERT.

398
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,446
COOL.

399
00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:13,489
SO... WHAT, DO YOU
WANT A BATTERY?

400
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:15,116
'CAUSE I CAN GET YOU A BATTERY.

401
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,743
ARE THEY CHEAP?

402
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:19,037
OR POSSIBLY FREE?

403
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:20,997
32 BUCKS. MINIMUM.

404
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:22,457
ALL RIGHT. I TELL YOU WHAT.

405
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:23,750
WE'LL TRADE YOU OUR BATTERY,

406
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:27,628
PLUS 5 BUCKS FOR ONE
OF YOUR BATTERIES.

407
00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:30,715
WELL, THAT'S A REALLY
SWEET DEAL, MY FRIEND...

408
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,133
BUT HOW ABOUT THIS?

409
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:35,887
HOW ABOUT ONE BATTERY
FOR TWO CONCERT TICKETS?

410
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,014
NO, WE CAN'T GIVE UP
TWO TICKETS.

411
00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:41,976
OK.

412
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:44,062
IT'S EITHER THAT
OR NONE OF US GO.

413
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:45,229
SO WHO'S OUT?

414
00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:47,398
WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS JACKIE.

415
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:50,610
OF COURSE JACKIE.
I MEAN, JACKIE'S GONE.

416
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,487
BUT WHO ELSE?

417
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:53,863
OH, I DON'T KNOW.

418
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:57,784
JACKIE'S DATE?

419
00:17:57,951 --> 00:18:01,120
COME ON. YOU KNOW
I'M BREAKING UP WITH HER.

420
00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:02,955
YOU GUYS ARE CHOPPING ME OUT!

421
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:04,916
I'VE HAD TO LISTEN TO HER
FOR A GOOD HOUR.

422
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,043
A REALLY LONG HOUR.

423
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,130
GOD HATES ME.

424
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:15,843
HOW CAN YOU SAY GOD HATES YOU?

425
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:19,097
AT LEAST YOU HAVE
A WOMAN'S LOVE.

426
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:20,264
BE HAPPY...

427
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:22,266
WHORE.

428
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,230
THIS SUIT IS FOR LEISURE.

429
00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:31,359
BUT MANY TIMES I WEAR IT
TO GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.

430
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,284
HEY, GUYS,

431
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,745
HIS DATE IS A MAN.

432
00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:44,497
I'M OK WITH IT.

433
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:48,084
WE ARE SO COOL TO BE OK WITH IT.

434
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:51,003
I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

435
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,924
KEVIN.

436
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,721
I'LL EXPLAIN LATER.

437
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,897
THIS ISN'T WORKING.

438
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,732
NO. IT'S A BOY SCOUT BELT.

439
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,484
THE BUCKLE'S GOT A BIG...

440
00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:16,988
NO. MICHAEL, BEFORE YOU SPEAK,
PLEASE HEAR MY WORDS.

441
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,533
I THINK WE SHOULD BREAK UP.

442
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:21,701
NOW?

443
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:23,995
YOU'RE NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME.

444
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,164
I'M HAVING A GOOD TIME.

445
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:27,081
REALLY?

446
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,457
YEAH!

447
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:31,794
OH, MICHAEL, I AM SO GLAD
YOU DON'T WANT TO BREAK UP.

448
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,129
YOU WERE SO NICE
TO GIVE YOUR TICKET AWAY

449
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:34,714
SO YOU COULD BE WITH ME.

450
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:36,382
WELL...

451
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:37,967
YEAH.

452
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:41,137
THAT SAYS YOU DON'T NEED MUSIC,

453
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,722
CONCERTS,

454
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,932
FRIENDS...

455
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:47,685
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED, MICHAEL?

456
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:51,772
I DON'T KNOW.

457
00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:54,525
ME. YOU NEED ME! M-E, MICHAEL!

458
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:55,693
YEAH.

459
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,195
I... I GUESS.

460
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:59,614
YEAH. YOU'RE JUST
TOO SHY TO SAY THAT...

461
00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:03,492
LOVER.

462
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:04,702
SO...

463
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,621
WHEN WERE YOU A BOY SCOUT?

464
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,672
♪ HELLO, IT'S ME ♪

465
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,925
WHAT A GREAT NIGHT.

466
00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,176
YOU KNOW, IT'S AMAZING

467
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:24,138
WHAT ONE ACT OF CIVIL
DISOBEDIENCE CAN DO FOR YOU.

468
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:26,265
I MEAN, THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD
THAT'S WAITING TO BE DRIVEN TO.

469
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:27,850
WE COULD GO TO...

470
00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:30,019
CANADA.

471
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:33,147
WE GOT A NEW BATTERY.
WHAT'S STOPPING US?

472
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,483
YOU KNOW, I THINK
CANADA CLOSES AT 9:30.

473
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:37,235
YEAH.

474
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:40,738
YOU KNOW, I NEVER
WOULD HAVE DONE THIS

475
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:43,282
IF YOU HADN'T TALKED ME INTO IT.

476
00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:47,870
I DIDN'T TALK YOU INTO ANYTHING.

477
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,747
WELL...

478
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:52,833
I'M GONNA CALL IT A DAY.

479
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:56,212
GOOD NIGHT.

480
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:04,512
BY THE WAY...

481
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,639
THANKS FOR THE RIDE.

482
00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:16,732
WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

483
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:21,279
I JUST... WANTED TO SEE
WHAT IT WAS LIKE.

484
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:24,490
WHAT WAS IT LIKE?

485
00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:27,618
YOU WERE THERE.

486
00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:30,079
YEAH, I... I WASN'T
READY FOR IT.

487
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:32,123
WHAT WOULD YOU
HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY?

488
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,291
I DON'T KNOW.

489
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,460
SOMETHING WITH MY LIPS.

490
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:37,878
SOUNDS GOOD.

491
00:21:38,046 --> 00:21:41,299
LET'S TRY THAT NEXT TIME.

492
00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:45,219
WHEN EXACTLY IS NEXT TIME?

493
00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:46,971
GOOD NIGHT.

494
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:51,726
YEAH, I'M REALLY GONNA
SLEEP AFTER THAT.

495
00:21:57,232 --> 00:22:01,068
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY WERNER
PRODUCTIONS AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

496
00:22:01,236 --> 00:22:05,072
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE
NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.

497
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:10,536
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT
PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

498
00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:15,499
♪ THAT YOU GOT TO HAVE FREE... ♪

499
00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:16,667
♪ FREEDOM ♪

500
00:22:16,793 --> 00:22:21,797
♪ 'CAUSE I NEVER WANT
TO MAKE YOU CHANGE ♪

501
00:22:21,965 --> 00:22:25,217
♪ FOR ME ♪

502
00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:27,011
BOY, WE'RE GOOD! HA HA!

503
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:28,554
WE ARE REALLY GOOD!