1
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:12,678
YOU AND JACKIE DID NOT DO IT.

2
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,930
NO, WE SO DID IT.

3
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:18,017
YOU'RE ALWAYS SAYING
THAT YOU DID IT.

4
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,019
KELSO, SHE WEARS THE PANTS,

5
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,354
AND THEY HAVE NEVER COME OFF.

6
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,689
LOOK AT MY FACE.

7
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,817
THIS IS A FACE THAT DID IT.

8
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:31,488
HOLY SMOKES. I THINK HE DID IT.

9
00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:33,615
[TOGETHER] KELSO DID IT!

10
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:41,040
YEAH. CONGRATULATIONS, MAN.

11
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:42,487
PLUS, YOU DID IT IN RECORD TIME.

12
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:45,586
YEAH, YOU THINK?

13
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:46,920
NO, YOU MORON.

14
00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:49,715
YOU'VE BEEN KISSING HER
ASS FOR OVER A YEAR.

15
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,759
YEAH, BUT THAT'S OVER, MAN.

16
00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:53,218
IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN TO YOU KIDS

17
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,888
THAT HAVE NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE,

18
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,389
BUT WHEN YOU'RE WITH A WOMAN,

19
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,600
SOMETHING CHEMICAL
HAPPENS TO HER.

20
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,351
NOW JACKIE'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

21
00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:04,563
SHE'S LIKE MY LOVE SLAVE.

22
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,816
OH YEAH. I'M THAT GOOD.

23
00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:10,069
HEY, GUYS.

24
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:13,155
HI, SWEETIE. HOW ARE YOU?

25
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:14,990
WELL, ACTUALLY,
I'M A LITTLE BIT CHILLY,

26
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,992
BUT I LEFT MY COAT
UP IN THE CAR.

27
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,620
I'LL GO GET IT FOR YOU. MISS ME.

28
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,499
HANDY LITTLE THING, ISN'T SHE?

29
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,001
OKAY, THAT WAS SO COOL.

30
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:27,336
COOL?

31
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,171
AND BY COOL, I MEAN
WRONG AND STUPID.

32
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:30,923
SHUT UP, SHUT UP.
WRESTLING'S BACK ON.

33
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,383
OH, I LOVE WRESTLING.

34
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,807
COME ON. YOU'RE NOT EVEN
FIGHTING BACK.

35
00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,059
WHY WOULD HE FIGHT BACK?

36
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,393
(MALE TV ANNOUNCER)
DON'T FORGET, FANS,

37
00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:44,881
THIS SATURDAY NIGHT,
PRO WRESTLING

38
00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:46,459
IS COMING TO
THE NATIONAL GUARD ARMORY

39
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:47,731
IN KENOSHA, WISCONSIN.

40
00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:50,442
WATCH ROCKY JOHNSON TAKE ON
20 SNARLING MIDGETS.

41
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,069
NOW BACK TO THE ACTION.

42
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,779
ROCKY JOHNSON'S
COMING TO KENOSHA?

43
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,280
OH, MAN. WE GOT TO GO.

44
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:59,535
I'M IN. I LOVE MIDGETS, MAN.

45
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,620
(RED) ERIC, I NEED
TO SEE YOU UP HERE.

46
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:05,249
OKAY, I'LL BE RIGHT UP.

47
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:08,460
YOU'RE NOT GOING UP?

48
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,295
I'LL GO UP WHEN I'M READY.

49
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:13,423
[TOGETHER] OHH.

50
00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,092
SO I JUST SAID TO MYSELF,

51
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,469
I DON'T CARE IF ALL I HAVE
IS DIRTY LAUNDRY AND

52
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,305
NO MONEY, I'M GOING HOME
TO SEE MY PARENTS,

53
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:24,393
BECAUSE I LOVE THEM VERY MUCH.

54
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,562
AW.

55
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,814
OH MY.

56
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,566
OH, WELL,

57
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,152
WILL YOU LOOK AT THESE?

58
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,486
YEAH, MOM.

59
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,655
ALL THE GIRLS ARE WEARING THEM.

60
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,157
ERIC, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

61
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:39,844
YEAH, ERIC, I CALLED YOU
5 MINUTES AGO.

62
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,160
I WAS WATCHING WRESTLING.

63
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,047
DID YOU TAKE THOSE BOOKS
BACK TO THE LIBRARY

64
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,705
LIKE I ASKED YOU?

65
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,039
UH, YEAH. I TOOK THEM BACK.

66
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:47,499
WELL, THEN, WHY DID I SEE THEM

67
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,501
IN THE BACK SEAT OF YOUR CAR?

68
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,044
WELL, I TOOK THEM BACK...

69
00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,755
TO THE CAR.

70
00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:57,759
WHICH MEANS THAT THEY'RE
PRACTICALLY AT THE LIBRARY.

71
00:02:57,927 --> 00:02:59,219
YOU KNOW, DAD, I FEEL SORRY

72
00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:04,308
FOR ALL THE GOOD KIDS WHO
WANTED TO READ THOSE BOOKS.

73
00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:07,102
THAT'S WHO I FEEL SORRY FOR.

74
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,729
OKAY, IT'S FIVE BOOKS,

75
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,063
A NICKEL A BOOK,

76
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,523
UH, BIG DEAL. I'M OUT A QUARTER.

77
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,025
IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY, SON.

78
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,568
IT'S ABOUT THE RULES,

79
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,111
AND WITHOUT RULES,
WE MIGHT AS WELL

80
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,071
ALL BE UP IN A TREE
FLINGING OUR CRAP

81
00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:21,325
AT EACH OTHER.

82
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:28,248
UH, OKAY.

83
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:30,834
LIBRARY CLOSES IN HALF AN HOUR,

84
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,211
SO GET YOUR ASS OVER THERE.

85
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,658
DAD, YOU KNOW, ALL MY FRIENDS...

86
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,089
HEY, HEY, HEY, PAL.
I'M NOT THE BAD GUY HERE.

87
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,097
NOW YOU SCREWED YOURSELF
WHEN YOU DIDN'T RETURN

88
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,719
THOSE BOOKS, NOW GO.

89
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,679
OKAY.

90
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:44,806
NO.

91
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:53,565
DID YOU SAY "NO"?

92
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:56,401
ARE YOU TELLING ME NO?

93
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,612
IS THAT WHAT I'M HEARING?

94
00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:03,492
YEAH.

95
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:08,872
[THEME MUSIC PLAYS FROM "THE
GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY"]

96
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,879
OH, DEAR.

97
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:23,553
♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪

98
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:27,266
♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪

99
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:30,936
♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪

100
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:34,439
♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪

101
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:38,318
♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪

102
00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:41,613
♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪

103
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:44,741
♪ WHOA, YEAH ♪

104
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,912
HELLO, WISCONSIN!

105
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,750
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER AND FOX BROADCASTING

106
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:01,425
YOU KNOW WHAT'S INTERESTING?

107
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:06,638
NO.

108
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:07,973
WHEN YOU TALK TO LAURIE,

109
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,017
YOU ACTUALLY HAVE
A CONVERSATION,

110
00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:12,644
BUT WITH ERIC,
YOU JUST GIVE ORDERS.

111
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,982
KITTY, HE SAID NO TO ME.

112
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,859
WELL, HE'S GETTING OLDER, RED.

113
00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:21,486
I THINK IT'S TIME YOU TWO
DEVELOPED A FRIENDSHIP,

114
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,054
'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T,
HE'LL MOVE AWAY

115
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:24,323
AND WE'LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.

116
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,533
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

117
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,205
RED.

118
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,251
I CAN'T BE FRIENDS WITH ERIC.

119
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,170
HE'S TOO...

120
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:41,298
TWITCHY.

121
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,799
WELL, RED, UNTIL I SEE YOU

122
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:44,176
MAKE SOME KIND OF EFFORT,

123
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,261
I'M JUST GOING TO KEEP
BRINGING IT UP.

124
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,138
THREATS AREN'T GOING
TO WORK, KITTY.

125
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,474
IN THE MIDDLE OF EVERY
NEWSPAPER YOU'RE READING,

126
00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:53,018
EVERY NAP YOU'RE TAKING,
EVERY FOOTBALL GAME

127
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,062
YOU'RE WATCHING, I'LL BE THERE

128
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:57,814
TALKING, TALKING,
TALKING, TALKING.

129
00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:17,250
BOB, I'M THINKING OF
STARTING THERAPY.

130
00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:20,879
OKAY, I'M GONNA BE...

131
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,548
BYE.

132
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:24,883
THERAPY?

133
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:27,761
THAT'S FOR CRAZIES.

134
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:31,556
YOU KNOW, THE UNEXAMINED SELF
IS AN UNFULFILLED SELF.

135
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,892
HOW CAN YOU BE UNFULFILLED?

136
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,477
I PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD,

137
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:38,230
I PAY THE BILLS,
I TAKE CARE OF YOU.

138
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,773
YEAH, BUT WHAT DO I DO?

139
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,526
YOU FILL OUT THAT SWEATER
REAL NICE.

140
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,448
UGH!

141
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:52,035
WHAT? THAT'S A COMPLIMENT.

142
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:57,207
SIT DOWN, LAURIE.
HAVE SOME RIBS.

143
00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:01,586
MOM, YOU KNOW I'M ON MY
WATER AND YOGURT DIET.

144
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:02,921
OKAY.

145
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,256
WELL, ISN'T THIS NICE?

146
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,216
MY WHOLE FAMILY TOGETHER...

147
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,510
MOSTLY.

148
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:11,388
HAVING FAMILY FUN, BECAUSE
THAT'S WHAT DINNER'S FOR,

149
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,640
RIGHT, RED?

150
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,601
OKAY.

151
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:21,189
[CLEARS THROAT] SO, ERIC...

152
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,112
WHAT HAPPENED IN SCHOOL TODAY?

153
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,614
WHY? WHAT'D YOU HEAR?

154
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,160
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

155
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:34,786
I CAN'T ASK A SIMPLE QUESTION?

156
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,330
RED, RED, YOU NEED
SOME POTATOES.

157
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,376
UM,

158
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:43,503
[CLEARS THROAT]

159
00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:47,048
GOOD JOB ON RETURNING
THOSE BOOKS.

160
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,802
WELL, YEAH, I RETURNED
THE BOOKS.

161
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,138
EVEN THOUGH IT WAS
KIND OF STUPID.

162
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,473
WHAT?

163
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,600
HE SAID IT WAS STUPID, DADDY.

164
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,437
OKAY, OKAY. HA, HA, HA, HA.

165
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,399
ERIC, WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO THIS WEEKEND?

166
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,734
OH, ME AND THE GANG
ARE GOING TO CATCH

167
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,945
THAT WRESTLING MATCH IN KENOSHA.

168
00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:11,656
OH, WELL, NOW,
ISN'T THAT SOMETHING?

169
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,700
BECAUSE A CERTAIN MR. RED FORMAN

170
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:16,661
USED TO WRESTLE IN HIGH SCHOOL.

171
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:18,955
NO, NO, NO.
WHAT I DID THEN WAS REAL.

172
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,999
THAT STUFF ON TV, THAT'S, UH,

173
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,667
THAT'S ALL AN ACT.

174
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,044
OH, I DON'T KNOW.

175
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,879
I BET IF THE TWO OF YOU
WENT TOGETHER,

176
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,631
YOU'D REALLY ENJOY YOURSELVES.

177
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:30,133
RIGHT, GUYS?

178
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,510
[PROTESTING]

179
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:34,137
[HITS TABLE] CLANK!

180
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,056
SO YOU'RE GOING.

181
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:38,225
[LAUGHS]

182
00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:40,936
AND I THINK EVERYONE
HAS ROOM TO GROW,

183
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:43,522
BUT BOB IS PERFECTLY SATISFIED

184
00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:46,316
AND SAYS JUST BEING HIS
WIFE SHOULD MAKE ME HAPPY.

185
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:49,653
MIDGE, LET ME STOP YOU
RIGHT THERE.

186
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:51,988
I KNOW WE'VE HAD
ONLY ONE SESSION,

187
00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:53,949
BUT FROM WHAT I'M HEARING,

188
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:57,077
EVERYTHING YOU SAY
IS COMPLETELY RIGHT,

189
00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:00,622
AND EVERYTHING BOB SAYS
IS COMPLETELY WRONG.

190
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,794
I THINK I'M GOING
TO LIKE THERAPY.

191
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:08,880
I THINK THERAPY'S
GOING TO LIKE YOU.

192
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,832
JACKIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

193
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,053
YOU HATE WRESTLING.

194
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,388
MICHAEL LIKES IT,

195
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:20,517
AND ANYTHING THAT MICHAEL LIKES,
I LIKE, BECAUSE I LIKE MICHAEL.

196
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,604
YEAH. THAT'S MY GIRL.

197
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,817
OH, BARF.

198
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,569
WATCH YOUR LEGS.

199
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:34,406
HEY, TAKING THE GANG TO
THE WRESTLING MATCHES, HUH?

200
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,782
AH.

201
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,576
I GUESS I'LL JUST SIT HOME
ALONE TONIGHT

202
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:41,496
SINCE MIDGE IS GOING
TO SOME THERAPY THING.

203
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,373
I'LL BE ALONE.

204
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:47,377
GET IN THE CAR, BOB.

205
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,131
ERIC, GIVE ME THE KEYS.

206
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,465
WHY CAN'T I DRIVE?

207
00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:55,385
BECAUSE I WANT TO GET THERE
IN ONE PIECE.

208
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,137
HEY, CAN WE GET A MOVE ON, HUH?

209
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,847
IF I MISS THAT
20-MIDGET FREE-FOR-ALL,

210
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,725
I'M GOING TO BE SUPER PISSED.

211
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,812
FINE. YOU DRIVE.

212
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,939
RED.

213
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,274
[CLEARS THROAT]

214
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,151
YOU KNOW, ON SECOND THOUGHT, UH,

215
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,361
YOU SHOULD DRIVE.

216
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:17,532
AFTER ALL, TONIGHT I'M
JUST ONE OF THE GANG.

217
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,497
THIS ISN'T GOING
TO WORK, YOU KNOW.

218
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,625
WE'RE GOING TO KILL EACH OTHER.

219
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,251
WELL, FINE, KILL EACH OTHER.

220
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,378
JUST DO IT TOGETHER.

221
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:36,926
♪♪♪

222
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,304
BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL, ERIC.

223
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:42,766
TEN AND TWO. TEN AND TWO.

224
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,351
DAD, IF YOU WANT TO DRIVE...

225
00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:45,935
NO, NO, NO. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

226
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:49,064
I'M JUST ONE OF THE GANG.

227
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:52,609
YIELD, DAMN IT.
THAT SIGN SAYS YIELD.

228
00:10:54,153 --> 00:11:01,951
♪♪♪

229
00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:05,664
AH. THAT'S BETTER.

230
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,792
♪♪♪

231
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:15,340
♪ BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY,
BABY, BABY, OH! ♪

232
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:19,219
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

233
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:20,679
WHEN WE GET HOME TONIGHT,
YOU BETTER TELL YOUR MOTHER

234
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,556
WE HAD A DAMN GOOD TIME.

235
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,351
WELL, SO FAR, SO GOOD.

236
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,977
YEAH, YEAH.

237
00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:30,021
AND NOW I GOT TO GO AND SPEND $2

238
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,649
FOR A 10-CENT BEER.

239
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,487
GEE, I'M SO GLAD OUR DADS CAME.

240
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,114
AT LEAST YOURS
IS LEAVING YOU ALONE.

241
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,074
YEAH.

242
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:44,035
POOR FEZ, HUH?

243
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,955
THERE I WAS,
SITTING IN THE KITCHEN,

244
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,748
SITTING IN THE KITCHEN,
WHEN BOOM!

245
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:51,376
SHE TELLS ME SHE NEEDS THERAPY.

246
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:54,212
YEAH, MIDGE AND I HAD
A BEAUTIFUL THING, FEZZY,

247
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:58,842
THEN IT ALL WENT WRONG.

248
00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:02,220
YEAH, BOB, WOMEN ARE HELL.

249
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:03,888
WHY DON'T YOU GRAB US
ALL A BEER,

250
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,975
AND WE'LL TALK IT OVER?

251
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,351
I COULD GET YOU SODAS,

252
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,687
'CAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE UNDER AGE.

253
00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:17,485
BOB, THIS ISN'T ABOUT US,
IT'S ABOUT YOU.

254
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:20,363
AND YOU NEED FRIENDS.

255
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,282
AND BEER.

256
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,410
HEY, HOW STUPID
DO YOU THINK I AM?

257
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,329
WHY DON'T WE GRAB A BEER,
AND WE'LL TALK IT OVER?

258
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,166
AH.

259
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:33,835
NO.

260
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:37,630
WELL, THEN, BOB,
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

261
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:40,258
SEE HOW YOU DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY?

262
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,347
I'M TELLING YOU,

263
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:50,059
AFTER MY THERAPY SESSION,
I FELT SO LOOSE.

264
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:52,437
LOOSE IS GOOD.

265
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:56,065
IF YOU ASK ME, WE COULD ALL
DO WITH A LITTLE TIGHTENING.

266
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:59,694
AND... AND TONIGHT,
MY THERAPIST IS HOSTING

267
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,571
AN ENCOUNTER GROUP,

268
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,908
BUT I'M TOO SHY TO GO ALONE.

269
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:09,120
OH WELL. TOO BAD.

270
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,664
OH, KITTY, PLEASE COME WITH ME.

271
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:15,043
I DON'T THINK SO.
NO, THANK YOU, NO.

272
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:17,086
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS
IS A LOT LIKE?

273
00:13:17,254 --> 00:13:19,714
LIKE WHEN YOU ASKED ME TO HELP
YOU HOST THE BAKE SALE.

274
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:24,969
ONLY IT'S DIFFERENT,
BECAUSE I SAID YES.

275
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,429
ALL RIGHT.

276
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,181
OH, GREAT.

277
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,809
IT'S A GATHERING OF
SOULS-IN-PROGRESS

278
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:32,310
OVER DRINKS.

279
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,313
FREE DRINKS? I'M IN.

280
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:36,689
OH, THAT'S NICE.

281
00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:39,609
THAT'S MUSIC TO A MOTHER'S EARS.

282
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:43,988
OKAY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

283
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,865
OKAY, YOU SEE THE GUY
GETTING IN THE RING?

284
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,826
THAT'S ROCKY JOHNSON.

285
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,619
MAN, HE'S THE BEST.

286
00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:51,579
[AUDIENCE] OOH!

287
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:54,374
THE BEST?

288
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,460
THEY'RE NOT EVEN FIGHTERS.
I MEAN, THESE ARE ALL TRICKS.

289
00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,712
I COULD GET UP THERE
RIGHT NOW AND...

290
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,047
[THUD]

291
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,382
HOT DAMN.

292
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,050
HE DROPPED THAT GUY
RIGHT ON HIS HEAD.

293
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,511
YEAH!

294
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:10,682
♪♪♪

295
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,183
THIS IS WHERE I GOT HIM.

296
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,686
HE AIN'T GOIN' ANYWHERE.

297
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:18,189
AAH.

298
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:21,818
OHH. OHH.

299
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:30,611
♪♪♪

300
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:50,471
ONE, TWO, THREE. THE WINNER.

301
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:51,973
GET OFF ME.

302
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,183
I'M THE WINNER HERE.

303
00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:58,479
MAN.

304
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,398
IT'S HOT IN HERE, HUH?

305
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,318
[GASPS] YOU POOR THING.

306
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,612
IS THAT BETTER, SWEETIE?

307
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:08,197
OH, YEAH.

308
00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:10,283
JACKIE, CAN I TALK
TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

309
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:13,369
YEAH, YEAH, SURE.
MICHAEL, IS IT OKAY... OW!

310
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,499
JACKIE, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING
ON BETWEEN YOU AND KELSO?

311
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:22,462
LOOK, MICHAEL KELSO AND I
HAVE MADE BEAUTIFUL LOVE.

312
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,923
EWW!

313
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,674
I MEAN...

314
00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:30,011
NO, EWW.

315
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,138
WHY ARE YOU BEING
SUCH A DOORMAT?

316
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,474
LOOK, I HAVE TO BE NICE.

317
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,184
WHAT IF HE GETS BORED NOW?

318
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,518
BORED?

319
00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:41,022
JACKIE, HE'S GOING TO WANT
TO DO IT AGAIN.

320
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:44,609
SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS
I'M TOTALLY IN CHARGE.

321
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:45,977
WELL, I MEAN, A PARTNERSHIP...

322
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,445
NO, NO, NO. I OWN HIM.

323
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:48,947
I'M THE MAN.

324
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:50,281
WELL, JACKIE...

325
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:52,408
NO, NO. THANK YOU, DONNA.

326
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,081
GOOD EVENING, SIR.

327
00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:00,917
I WOULD LIKE A REFRESHING
COLA, PLEASE.

328
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:05,088
[FEZ IN DEEP VOICE]
AND GET ME A BEER, SON.

329
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,591
OKAY, DAD. SURE.

330
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:11,928
AND A BEER FOR MY DAD.

331
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,310
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET ME
THAT BEER, ARE YOU?

332
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:24,565
WHAT SEEMS TO BE
THE PROBLEM, SON?

333
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:34,291
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
DON'T JUST SIT THERE.

334
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,119
GET UP, YOU BIG BAD MOOSE.

335
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:37,870
LOOK, HE'S LAUGHING AT YOU.

336
00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:42,083
I GIVE AND I GIVE AND I GIVE.

337
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:43,793
OH, BOO-HOO.

338
00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:46,546
GET BACK IN THE RING.

339
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:57,974
HEY, THIS IS FUN.

340
00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:00,059
HEY, ROCKY JOHNSON.

341
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:01,853
HEY, MR. JOHNSON, SIR,
MAY I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

342
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,980
AARRRGH!

343
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,775
ERIC, GO IN THERE
AND GET YOUR AUTOGRAPH.

344
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,694
NO WAY, DAD.
THE SIGN SAYS WRESTLERS ONLY.

345
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,112
SO?

346
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,948
SO, THAT'S A RULE.

347
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,992
AS I REMEMBER, A GREAT MAN
ONCE SAID TO ME,

348
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,535
IF WE WERE TO BREAK THE RULES,

349
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:18,903
THE WORLD WOULD JUST BE FILLED

350
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,706
WITH TREE-CLIMBING
CRAP-FLINGERS.

351
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,541
YEAH.

352
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:24,876
NOW FOLLOW ME.

353
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,170
YOU WANT YOUR AUTOGRAPH OR NOT?

354
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:35,219
THERE HE IS.

355
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,027
MR. JOHNSON, YOU GAVE
THAT TEAM OF MIDGETS

356
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,890
AN ASS-WHOOPING, SIR.

357
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,349
YOU PILE DRIVE A LITTLE GUY,

358
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,143
AND THE WHOLE CROWD
TURNS ON YOU,

359
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,478
AND THEN WHEN
YOU'RE STANDING THERE

360
00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,045
WONDERING WHAT
THEY'RE BOOING ABOUT,

361
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,731
YOU GET BIT ON THE KNEECAPS.

362
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:50,026
LOOK AT MY KNEES. MIDGET BITES.

363
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:53,362
I WONDER IF YOU'D MIND, UH,
GIVING MY SON AN AUTOGRAPH.

364
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:54,906
NO.

365
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,909
NO AUTOGRAPHS.

366
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:01,162
LOOK, PAL, I MIGHT BE
THE ONLY GUY IN HERE

367
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:04,248
WHO'S ACTUALLY KILLED A MAN.

368
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,501
GIVE THE KID AN AUTOGRAPH,

369
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:09,712
AND THEN NO MORE AUTOGRAPHS.

370
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,172
THAT'S REALLY NICE,

371
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,882
BRINGING YOUR KID
TO A WRESTLING MATCH.

372
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,217
YOU KNOW, I GOT A SON,

373
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:16,010
AND ONE DAY HE'S GOING TO BECOME

374
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:21,933
THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN
IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT.

375
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,143
YEAH, WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

376
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:27,355
UH, CAN YOU MAKE
THAT OUT TO RED FORMAN?

377
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,815
NO, NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

378
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:30,149
UM, IT'S ERIC FORMAN.

379
00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:31,818
CAPITAL E-R-l-C...

380
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:33,778
YEAH, BUT SEE,
HIS NICKNAME IS RED.

381
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,655
NO, IT'S NOT. IT'S ERIC.

382
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:38,991
STOP KIDDING AROUND, RED.

383
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:43,538
YOU KNOW, BABE, A SODA
WOULD TASTE PRETTY GOOD

384
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,373
RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

385
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:46,707
YEAH, YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

386
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,075
A SODA DOES SOUND PRETTY GOOD.

387
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,377
I'LL HAVE A DIET.

388
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:52,338
YEAH, I'LL HAVE A ROOT BEER.

389
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:57,844
OH, DON'T YOU WANT
TO GO GET IT FOR ME?

390
00:18:58,011 --> 00:18:59,470
SWEETIE?

391
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:04,016
OKAY, LET ME CLEAR IT UP
FOR YOU, HMM?

392
00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:10,022
GET... ME... A SODA. NOW!

393
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,319
DID YOU SEE THAT? I'M THE MAN.

394
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:36,924
IT ALL STARTED
ABOUT 6 MONTHS AGO

395
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:40,845
WHEN MIDGY GOT A SUBSCRIPTION
TO COSMO.

396
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:45,641
THESE GROUP SESSIONS
ARE ABOUT TESTING

397
00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:50,021
YOUR BOUNDARIES,
LOSING YOUR INHIBITIONS,

398
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:53,399
REALLY SHARING WITH THE GROUP.

399
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,693
KITTY, ARE YOU READY?

400
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,696
OH, UM, WELL...

401
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,198
SHARE A LITTLE, MOM.

402
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,533
TELL US HOW FOLDING THE DISH
TOWELS JUST RIGHT MAKES

403
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:06,787
ALL OUR PROBLEMS GO AWAY.

404
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:11,292
YOU WANT ME TO SHARE?

405
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,419
OKAY.

406
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:17,715
LAURIE, YOU'RE MEAN
TO YOUR BROTHER,

407
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,884
AND YOU'RE SCREWING
AROUND AT COLLEGE.

408
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,510
WE DON'T EVEN SEE YOU
UNLESS YOU'VE RUN OUT

409
00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:23,721
OF CLEAN CLOTHES OR NEED CASH.

410
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:27,308
THE FACT IS, YOU'RE
AN UNGRATEFUL, SPOILED BRAT.

411
00:20:33,857 --> 00:20:36,234
WELL, THANK YOU. THAT WAS NICE.

412
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,237
I LOVE YOU, HONEY.

413
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:43,783
WELL, I HOPE WE'RE ALL AS
EXCITED ABOUT THIS JOURNEY

414
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,868
AS I AM.

415
00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:48,079
LET'S PAIR OFF.

416
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,333
OKAY, OKAY.

417
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,085
I DON'T GET IT, KITTY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?

418
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,173
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON.
HE'S A BAD DOCTOR.

419
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,881
A VERY, VERY BAD DOCTOR.

420
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,772
HEY, DAD, THANKS FOR
LETTING ME DRIVE HOME.

421
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,887
THANKS FOR NOT KILLING ME.

422
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,808
YOU KNOW, I JUST HAD
A LOT OF FUN TONIGHT

423
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:10,476
WITH YOU, DAD.

424
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:13,271
YEAH, ME TOO.

425
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,481
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.

426
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,066
OH, YOU WANT SOME, HUH?

427
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:18,567
YEAH, I WANT TO HAVE A PIECE.

428
00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:19,902
HUH? HUH?

429
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:21,237
WHOA.

430
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,364
AHH.

431
00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:28,911
YES!

432
00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:32,206
WHO'S THE KING? WHO'S THE KING?

433
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:34,292
OW. AH.

434
00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:36,502
MY NECK. OH.

435
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:37,962
GOSH, DAD, I'M SORRY.

436
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,297
I'M SO SORRY.

437
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,048
LOOK, I HAD NO IDE...

438
00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:45,720
AHH.

439
00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:49,682
NOW WHO'S THE KING, HUH?

440
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:51,809
YOU ARE.

441
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,896
MM-HMM.

442
00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:57,732
AND IT TURNED OUT THIS
THERAPIST WAS JUST OBSESSED

443
00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:00,484
WITH SEX.

444
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,653
AND THIS IS A REALLY
DIFFICULT TIME FOR ME.

445
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,363
THE LAST THING I NEED
IS A DOCTOR

446
00:22:04,531 --> 00:22:06,824
WHO DOESN'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY.

447
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:09,493
I NEED TO FIND SOMEONE
I CAN TALK TO,

448
00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:11,537
SOMEONE WHO'LL REALLY LISTEN.

449
00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:14,623
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER AND FOX BROADCASTING

450
00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:18,044
SO... DO YOU WANT TO GO
TO A PARTY?

451
00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:21,505
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE
NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.

452
00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:23,341
OKAY.

453
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:27,188
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT
PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE