1
00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:06,672
[MUSIC]

2
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,174
YEAH. EVEN THE RADIO WORKS.

3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,051
AND ALL THE DOORS...

4
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:13,262
THEY OPEN!

5
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:14,763
AND IT'S GOT BRAKES TOO.

6
00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:16,974
I MEAN, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

7
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,143
I MEAN, MY UNCLE,
HE JUST GAVE IT TO ME.

8
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,145
HE GAVE IT TO ME, FOR FREE!

9
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:23,147
THAT IS INSANE.

10
00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:27,484
I WOULD PAY
TENS OF DOLLARS FOR THIS.

11
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:31,613
[COUGHS] OR NOT.

12
00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:34,408
DID HE OWN A CAT?

13
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,035
YEAH. I'M GETTING
AN AIR FRESHENER.

14
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:37,745
YEAH. GET A BIG ONE.

15
00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:41,957
GUYS, GUYS, THIS THING IS
LIKE A BEDROOM ON WHEELS.

16
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,710
NO MORE, "MICHAEL, THE
BACKSEAT'S TOO SMALL."

17
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,546
MICHAEL, YOU'RE ON MY HAIR.

18
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,591
MICHAEL, YOU'RE CHOKING ME.

19
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,342
THAT'S OVER.

20
00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:56,972
WOW, LOOK AT THIS PIECE OF JUNK.

21
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,640
THIS IS MY VAN.

22
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:01,685
[LAUGHS]

23
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,687
YEAH? WELL, YOU KNOW,

24
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:05,981
I HAD A FORD DELIVERY VAN
IN HIGH SCHOOL.

25
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:09,985
YEAH, IT'S A LOT OF FUN
TILL SOMEBODY GETS PREG...

26
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,487
YOU GOT TO BE CAREFUL
IN THIS VAN, KELSO,

27
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:13,113
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

28
00:01:13,281 --> 00:01:16,575
AN IDIOT WOULD KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN.

29
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,578
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

30
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,997
SELL THE VAN, KID.

31
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:23,874
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

32
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,501
OH, I'M HAPPY.

33
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:26,960
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

34
00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:30,839
SHOULDN'T YOU GUYS
BE MEDITATING OR SOMETHING?

35
00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:32,966
HEY, COME HERE, FORMAN.

36
00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:35,636
I WANT YOU TO FEAST YOUR EYES
ON THIS VERY LARGE

37
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:39,640
AND FLAT CARGO AREA.

38
00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:42,559
WOW, YOU COULD HAUL
PLYWOOD IN THIS.

39
00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:44,228
RIGHT...

40
00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:48,023
OR DONNA.

41
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:52,152
WHY WOULD I WANT TO
HAUL... OH, RIGHT! OKAY.

42
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,488
NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?
SHE WOULDN'T DO IT IN A VAN.

43
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,490
SHE WANTS IT TO BE SPECIAL.

44
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:57,950
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKIN' ABOUT?

45
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,535
OH, UH...

46
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,703
PLYWOOD.

47
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,372
GOOD, GOOD.

48
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:04,832
'CAUSE I'M NOT DOING IT
IN A VAN.

49
00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:06,542
OH.

50
00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:08,627
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT'LL
MAKE IT REALLY SPECIAL?

51
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:14,842
NOT TALKIN' TO YOUR FRIENDS
ABOUT US DOING IT.

52
00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:18,262
♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪

53
00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:21,849
♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪

54
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:25,644
♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪

55
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,939
♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪

56
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:33,068
♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪

57
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:36,864
♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪

58
00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:40,409
♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT,
WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪

59
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,370
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER AND FOX BROADCASTING

60
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:46,707
HELLO, WISCONSIN!

61
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,963
OKAY, ERIC, IT'S YOUR FATHER'S
LAST DAY AT WORK,

62
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,339
BUT DON'T MENTION IT.

63
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:55,867
IN FACT, MY ADVICE
TO BOTH YOU KIDS

64
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,969
IS JUST EAT AND GET OUT.

65
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,221
MRS. FORMAN, I COULD
HIDE IN THE BASEMENT.

66
00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,182
NO, NO, I AM NOT GONNA
HAVE YOU KIDS LEAVE

67
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,683
WITHOUT YOUR BREAKFAST.

68
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,393
YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUN?
A BACON SANDWICH.

69
00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,146
HERE. YOU CAN EAT IT IN THE CAR.

70
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,522
MORNING.

71
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,941
OH, GREAT.

72
00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:17,196
NOW YOUR FATHER'S GOING TO SEE
3 MOUTHS HE HAS TO FEED.

73
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:18,530
OH, YOU'RE WEARING YOUR

74
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,782
UNIVERSITY OF
WISCONSIN SWEATSHIRT.

75
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,576
YEAH, MOTHER, I WENT THERE.

76
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:26,330
NO, YOU FLUNKED OUT OF THERE.

77
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:27,956
YOU KNOW,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST WEAR

78
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:31,084
YOUR UNIVERSITY OF I-WASTED-
MY-FATHER'S-MONEY SWEATSHIRT.

79
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:34,838
HA HA HA HA. TAKE IT OFF.

80
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:37,674
OH, COME ON! NO.

81
00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,343
LEAVE IT ON.

82
00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:42,095
SHE LACKS CHARACTER,
MRS. FORMAN.

83
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,806
SHUT UP! YOU ARE LUCKY
TO EVEN LIVE HERE.

84
00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:46,767
YOU'RE AN ORPHAN.

85
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,977
SHE CALLED ME AN ORPHAN.

86
00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:51,230
HEY, HE'S NOT AN ORPHAN.
HIS MOM JUST ABANDONED HIM.

87
00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,357
SHUT UP, FORMAN!

88
00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:54,608
OKAY, THAT'S IT.

89
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:58,278
EVERYBODY HIDE IN
THE BASEMENT. GO!

90
00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:01,907
MORNING.

91
00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:11,500
AMEN.

92
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:15,337
EVERYBODY SIT AND EAT.

93
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,563
HOW ARE YOU?

94
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:37,234
GREAT.

95
00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:44,074
SO, UM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

96
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,576
READING.

97
00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:49,705
HAVING SOME COFFEE.

98
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:53,000
IS THE COFFEE GOOD?

99
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:54,751
OKAY.

100
00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:59,089
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT TODAY
IS MY LAST DAY AT WORK.

101
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:02,843
LAST DAY THAT THE PLANT IS OPEN.

102
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,970
SO...

103
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,180
I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU ALL...

104
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:10,017
THAT EVERYTHING
IS GOING TO BE...

105
00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:12,436
GREAT.

106
00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:15,105
SO...

107
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:18,608
GREAT.

108
00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:20,986
DADDY, THAT IS SUCH GOOD NEWS.

109
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,405
CAN I HAVE $20?

110
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:26,742
YOU GET IN THE BASEMENT.

111
00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:31,997
SO...

112
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,332
JACKIE...

113
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:36,126
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

114
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,628
OH, MICHAEL, IT'S HORRIBLE.

115
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,547
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

116
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,466
YOU SAID IT WAS COOL
ON THE PHONE, MICHAEL,

117
00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,885
BUT IT'S NOT. IT'S HORRIBLE.

118
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,678
I CAN'T BE SEEN IN THIS.
IT'S LIKE...

119
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:50,766
UGH! IT'S LIKE HAVING A STY.

120
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:54,936
UH-OH, THIS VAN
WILL NOT BE ROCKING.

121
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,564
OH, SURE IS SOMETHING.

122
00:05:57,732 --> 00:06:00,400
23 YEARS OF WORKING HERE,
AND NOW IT'S ALL GONE.

123
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:01,985
OF COURSE YOU'RE
GONNA FIND WORK.

124
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,488
YOU'RE A SUPERVISOR.

125
00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:08,533
WELL, THAT'S TRUE. EXCUSE ME.

126
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,243
SAD AS HELL, AIN'T IT, RED?

127
00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:12,412
GEE, IT'S A REAL BAD TIME
FOR ME TO BE GETTING LAID OFF.

128
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:17,167
YOU KNOW, MY HUSBAND BUCKY,
HIS SKIN GRAFT DIDN'T TAKE.

129
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:21,129
YEAH, THAT'S, UH, THAT'S,
UH, REAL, UH, SAD, AMY.

130
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:22,798
HEY, RED, DALE, AMY.

131
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:25,217
HEY, I'M STEALING
OFFICE SUPPLIES.

132
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,302
RED, YOU DIDN'T WANT
YOUR STAPLER, DID YA?

133
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,637
NO.

134
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,932
GOOD, 'CAUSE I ALREADY
STOLE IT. HA HA HA.

135
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:33,850
HEY, RED, YOU KNOW, UH,

136
00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:35,936
WE'RE ALL GOING TO GO OVER TO
CHARLIE'S FOR ONE LAST DRINK.

137
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,979
THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD
POP IN FOR ONE.

138
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,898
OH, NO, I, UH... HA HA.

139
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,525
I DON'T... POP...

140
00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:47,197
TOLD YA HE WOULDN'T COME
WITH US. HE HATES US.

141
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:50,325
WELL, I...

142
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,999
HEH HEH. YEAH, BABY.

143
00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:00,043
YUP...

144
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:02,838
YOU AND ME ARE GOIN' PLACES.

145
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:04,714
♪ HAVIN' MY BABY ♪

146
00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:06,550
♪ IT'S ANOTHER WAY ♪

147
00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:09,136
♪ OF SAYIN' HOW MUCH
I LOVE YOU ♪

148
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,680
♪ HAVIN' MY BABY ♪

149
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:14,015
[APPLAUSE]

150
00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,976
YEAH! HEH HEH. PAUL ANKA.

151
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:19,396
MAN, YOU KICK SOME
SERIOUS MUSICAL ASS.

152
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,939
THANK YOU, KELSO.

153
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,524
MAN, I KNEW ONCE I GOT MY VAN,

154
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:25,068
I'D BE HAVIN' SOME
BITCHIN' HOLLYWOOD PARTIES.

155
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,654
RIGHT ON, KELSO.

156
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,656
I LOVE THE VAN.

157
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:33,326
IT'S A REAL LYLE WAGGONER
PLACE TO BE.

158
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:35,620
YEAH, YEAH...
WITH A RIDE LIKE THIS,

159
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:38,206
YOU MUST GET
A BUTT-LOAD OF LADIES.

160
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:42,002
ACTUALLY, PAUL, I'M JUST
WITH JACKIE AT THE MOMENT.

161
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,421
JUST JACKIE? HA HA.

162
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:47,007
WHAT ARE YOU, AN IDIOT?

163
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:50,719
WELL, LYLE, PAUL...

164
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,679
I KNOW THAT
A FINE MACHINE LIKE THIS

165
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:57,893
WOULD... WELL,
SNAG ME LOTS OF PELT...

166
00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:00,562
BUT I LOVE JACKIE...

167
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:04,566
AND A REAL MAN CAN DENY
HIS MAN INSTINCTS.

168
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,359
Laurie: WHO YA TALKIN' TO?

169
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,862
OHH!

170
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,614
AHH.

171
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:11,865
OH.

172
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,575
HELLO...

173
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,285
LAURIE.

174
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,162
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

175
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,290
I'M BORED.
THERE'S NOTHING ON TV.

176
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:21,958
SO, THIS IS YOUR NEW RIDE, HUH?

177
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:24,169
IT IS.

178
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:29,007
IT'S REALLY, UH, ROOMY.

179
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,928
LISTEN, LAURIE, UH...

180
00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:35,680
I... I DON'T THINK
YOU SHOULD BE IN HERE.

181
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:40,227
I MEAN, I KNOW WE'VE MADE
OUT A COUPLE DOZEN TIMES.

182
00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:41,811
TWICE.

183
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:43,647
OKAY, UH...

184
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:46,024
BUT THAT'S OVER. HEH HEH.

185
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:51,613
GOSH, I SURE DO FEEL
CLOSE TO YOU, KELSO.

186
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:57,035
AHH... HA HA HA. HA HA...

187
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,703
UH, LISTEN, LAURIE,

188
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:02,999
I... I... I, UH, I DON'T THINK
MY GIRLFRIEND JACKIE

189
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:06,503
WOULD LIKE YOU SITTING
ON ME. HEH HEH HEH.

190
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,880
I THINK YOU LIKE ME
SITTING ON YOU.

191
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:12,551
IN FACT, I KNOW YOU DO.

192
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:18,056
OKAY, HA HA, BUT THAT'S
NOT THE POINT. HEH HEH.

193
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:22,477
SHUT UP, KELSO.
THIS IS YOUR LUCKY DAY.

194
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,731
Kelso: LAURIE, DON'T. STOP.

195
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:29,776
HEY... UH... THOSE ARE MY PANTS!

196
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,736
NO!

197
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:36,157
YES.

198
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:57,721
SO, WHAT'S NEW?

199
00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:59,514
KELSO?

200
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:04,853
OH, MAN... I MEAN, NOTHING.

201
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:11,985
SO, ERIC, ISN'T YOUR SISTER HOT?

202
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:13,737
NO.

203
00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:15,572
IN FACT, KELSO, I THINK
YOU'RE THE ONLY LOSER HERE

204
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,283
WHO THINKS SHE IS HOT.

205
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,619
NOT TRUE.

206
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:24,080
I HAVE PICTURED HER NAKED
HUNDREDS OF TIMES.

207
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:27,334
WHY, JUST THIS MORNING
I WAS TAKING A SHOWER...

208
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,461
COME ON, FEZ, MAN,

209
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,922
IT IS ABSOLUTELY INAPPROPRIATE
AND DISRESPECTFUL

210
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:36,259
TO TALK ABOUT HOW HOT
SOMEBODY ELSE'S SISTER IS.

211
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:39,471
NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU
WANT TO GIVE IT TO HER.

212
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:43,099
RIGHT, KELSO?

213
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:44,392
OH, MAN.

214
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:47,604
OH, MAN. I...

215
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,606
WHAT IS IT, BOY?

216
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,524
IS IT TROUBLE?

217
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:55,278
IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO
TELL US ABOUT ERIC'S SISTER?

218
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:58,448
I TOTALLY DID IT WITH HER!

219
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,575
I'M SORRY, MAN.

220
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:04,162
WHAT?!

221
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,997
I... I MEAN,
SHE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME.

222
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,917
I'M... I'M VIOLATED.

223
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:13,046
YOU IDIOT,
YOUR THUMBS ARE STILL UP.

224
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,548
HEH HEH. ACTING'S HARD.

225
00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:17,425
HEY, SHUT UP, PERV.

226
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:20,387
THAT'S MY SISTER. COME ON!

227
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:22,514
I KNOW.

228
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:27,519
IT IS FORBIDDEN,
TABOO, TITILLATING.

229
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,771
ISN'T IT IRONIC THAT
TITILLATING HAS

230
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,816
THE WORD "TIT" IN IT?

231
00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:35,443
OH, MAN, THAT REMINDS ME.

232
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:38,071
OH, SHUT UP!

233
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,322
LOOK, I SWEAR TO GOD,

234
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,199
YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD
ABOUT MY SISTER,

235
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:44,452
AND I'M GONNA TELL JACKIE.

236
00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:49,332
MAN...

237
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:53,920
I FORGOT ABOUT JACKIE.

238
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,296
RIGHT, RIGHT.

239
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,674
YOU FORGOT YOU HAVE
THIS HUGE, BITCHY ANCHOR

240
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,342
TIED AROUND YOUR NECK.

241
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:03,054
[SCOFFS] IT COULD HAPPEN.

242
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:08,059
SO, I GUESS THE FIRST TIME
IT ACTUALLY REALLY HAPPENED,

243
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:12,230
WAS WHEN I WAS HORSEBACK RIDING.

244
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:20,739
HUH.

245
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,866
SO, YOU KNOW...

246
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:25,201
I THINK THIS VAN
COULD BE PRETTY NICE.

247
00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:26,809
DO YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M GLAD HE GOT IT.

248
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,330
AT LEAST IT'S A STEP
TOWARDS RESPONSIBILITY.

249
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,291
MAYBE MICHAEL'S MATURING.

250
00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:34,127
YEAH, HANG ONTO
THAT DREAM, JACKIE.

251
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,045
DONNA, I'M SERIOUS.

252
00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:37,839
I THINK HE'S GROWING UP.

253
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:39,549
GOD, I'M SO PROUD OF HIM THAT,

254
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,009
IF I WEREN'T ALREADY
SLEEPING WITH HIM,

255
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:44,012
I'D SLEEP WITH HIM.

256
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,305
SO...

257
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:48,224
HAVE YOU AND ERIC DONE IT YET?

258
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:50,727
YEAH, WE DID IT, AND
I FORGOT TO MENTION IT.

259
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,979
OH.

260
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:56,441
SO WHAT'S THE HOLDUP?

261
00:12:56,609 --> 00:13:00,028
WHATEVER.

262
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,363
IT'LL HAPPEN WHEN IT HAPPENS.

263
00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:04,449
SURE.

264
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,368
YEAH, I GUESS IF
I WERE ERIC'S GIRLFRIEND,

265
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:10,914
I WOULD NOT BE IN A HURRY
TO DO IT EITHER.

266
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:16,961
♪ I'M IN LOVE WITH A GIRL... ♪

267
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,671
[LAUGHS]

268
00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:21,090
YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE
YOU SHOULD ASK KELSO

269
00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:24,385
IF YOU COULD BORROW
HIS VAN SOME NIGHT.

270
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:33,895
COOL.

271
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:38,024
SO, LIKE, UH...

272
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:40,777
WHICH NIGHT? [CLEARS THROAT]

273
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,905
I DON'T KNOW. SOME NIGHT.

274
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:48,409
IS THAT LIKE A WEDNESDAY?

275
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:51,538
COULD BE.

276
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,792
COULD TONIGHT BE SOME NIGHT?

277
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,044
NO.

278
00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,505
WELL...

279
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,257
I DON'T KNOW.

280
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,342
MAYBE. HA HA.

281
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,845
YOU SURE? YOU SURE?

282
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:09,722
HEY, WHERE ARE THE CUSHIONS?

283
00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:21,234
[BIG STAR SINGING
I'M IN LOVE WITH A GIRL]

284
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:30,285
LOOK AT ME.

285
00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:32,203
I'M ALMOST 50.

286
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,914
YOU'RE NOT OVER 50?

287
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,374
AW, YOU GOT TO...

288
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:39,210
SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

289
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:40,879
I ONLY KNOW HOW TO DO ONE THING.

290
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,631
I'VE BEEN DOING IT
MY WHOLE LIFE.

291
00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:45,508
IT'S NOT LIKE ANOTHER
ONE OF THESE PLANTS

292
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,594
IS GONNA OPEN UP
IN THIS CRAP HOLE.

293
00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:51,431
HOW AM I GONNA
SUPPORT MY FAMILY?

294
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:54,976
AH... TO HELL WITH IT.

295
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,687
AT LEAST I GOT YOU GUYS...

296
00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:01,983
AND I LOVE YOU GUYS.
HEH HEH HEH HEH.

297
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,322
OKAY, UM, THANK YOU
FOR CALLING, AMY.

298
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,115
YEAH, BYE.

299
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:12,243
ERIC, YOU HAVE TO GO PICK YOUR
FATHER UP AT CHARLIE'S BAR.

300
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:15,413
AT CHARLIE'S... OH, IS HE DRUNK?

301
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:20,043
NO, HE'S NOT DRUNK.
HE'S... HE'S NOT FEELING WELL.

302
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,420
RED'S DRUNK.

303
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,214
HE IS NOT. HE IS JUST...
HE'S NOT FEELING WELL.

304
00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:27,717
COME ON, FEZ. MY DAD'S DRUNK.

305
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:32,013
HE IS NOT DRUNK.
HE IS NOT FEELING WELL!

306
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:34,891
MMM!

307
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:36,267
MICHAEL, THESE CUSHIONS
ARE REALLY NICE.

308
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:39,854
WHERE'D YOU GET 'EM?

309
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:43,399
UH... I FOUND 'EM.

310
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:47,904
YOU'RE NESTING, MICHAEL.
THAT IS SO MATURE.

311
00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:52,492
ALL RIGHT. LISTEN,
JACKIE, WE HAVE TO TALK.

312
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,244
THIS VAN IS CHANGING ME.

313
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:57,413
I KNOW, MICHAEL, I KNOW.

314
00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:59,582
YOU DO?

315
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,126
GREAT. 'CAUSE I WANT YOU
TO BE ON BOARD

316
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:06,172
WITH WHAT I'M GONNA SAY.

317
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:10,593
TRANSPORTATION
IS A BIG RESPONSIBILITY.

318
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,971
THAT IS SO TRUE.

319
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,639
YEAH.

320
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:19,727
SO, I'D LIKE
TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE.

321
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:22,563
NO.

322
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:24,524
WHAT... WHAT I MEAN TO SAY IS

323
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,651
THAT YOU AND I SHOULD
SEE OTHER PEOPLE.

324
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,612
NO.

325
00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:34,701
OKAY... WHAT IF JUST
I SEE OTHER PEOPLE?

326
00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:37,286
NO.

327
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:43,251
OKAY... OKAY.

328
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:47,296
HEY.

329
00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:50,925
HEY, HEY. THE GANG'S ALL HERE.

330
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,552
HOW YA DOIN', FEZ?

331
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:56,514
OH, MY GOD. HE KNOWS MY NAME.

332
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,142
HEY, ARE THOSE SIDEBURNS?

333
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,477
SINCE 8th GRADE.

334
00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:03,896
HEY, BRING THESE GUYS A BEER.

335
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:06,024
UH, NO, DAD, I'M SUPPOSED
TO TAKE YOU HOME.

336
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,817
MOM SAID SO.

337
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:12,196
NORMALLY, YOU DO WHAT
YOUR MOTHER SAYS.

338
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:14,866
SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW...

339
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:18,745
YOU'RE A DUMBASS.

340
00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:22,915
BUT MOSTLY, YOU'RE A GOOD KID.

341
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,460
THANK YOU, SIR.

342
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:29,422
BUT THIS IS
MY LAST DAY OF WORK...

343
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,632
AND I DIDN'T GET A PARTY,

344
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,635
AND I DIDN'T GET A GOLD WATCH,

345
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:38,347
AND I DIDN'T GET CRAP.

346
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:43,561
SO... LET'S DRINK!

347
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:51,319
[RINGING]

348
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:53,571
HELLO.

349
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:54,989
HELLO, MOTHER.

350
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:59,368
All: HELLO, MOTHER!

351
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,830
THIS IS YOUR SON, ERIC.

352
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:06,125
I'M NOT FEELING WELL.

353
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:15,343
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

354
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:25,144
OH, RED.

355
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:31,192
I LOVE YOU, KITTY.

356
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:34,654
UH-HUH.

357
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,657
BARTENDER, COULD
I HAVE 2 COFFEES, PLEASE?

358
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,659
AND I'LL HAVE 2 MORE BEERS.

359
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,119
RED...

360
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:44,872
OKAY, OKAY, I'LL JUST
HAVE THE ONE BEER.

361
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,041
THIS ISN'T LIKE YOU, RED.

362
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,836
WHAT, I CAN'T HAVE A BEER?

363
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:51,295
NO, HANGING AROUND WITH PEOPLE.

364
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:54,966
YOU HATE PEOPLE.

365
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,094
[LAUGHING]

366
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:01,848
YEAH, I DO. HA HA HA HA.

367
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,309
YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA
GET THROUGH THIS.

368
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,562
YEAH, I KNOW.

369
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:11,816
OH, HECK, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH
WORSE TIMES THAN THESE.

370
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:16,445
JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT, KITTY...

371
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:21,159
WHEN WAS THAT?

372
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:25,454
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

373
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:27,748
ARE YOU WORRIED?

374
00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:29,834
NOPE.

375
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:34,213
ARE YOU WORRIED?

376
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,924
NAH, I'M NOT WORRIED, KITTY.

377
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:44,056
I'M TOO DRUNK TO BE WORRIED.

378
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:49,187
♪ UP AGAINST THE WALL,
REDNECK MOTHER ♪

379
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:50,938
♪ YAHOO ♪

380
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:56,444
♪ MOTHER, WHO HAS RAISED
HER SON SO WELL ♪

381
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:59,113
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET'S TURN THAT OFF.

382
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:04,035
HEY, I GOT AMY'S PHONE NUMBER.

383
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,078
GOOD FOR YOU, STEVEN.

384
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,039
WELL...

385
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:11,250
I HOPE SHE'S STILL
PRETTY TOMORROW.

386
00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:13,044
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET'S JUST TURN THAT

387
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:17,298
REDNECK MOTHER SONG BACK ON.

388
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:23,471
♪ HE'S 34 AND DRINKIN'
IN A HONKY-TONK ♪

389
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,598
♪ OH, PLAY IT FOR MAMA ♪

390
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:31,103
♪ KICKIN' HIPPIES' ASSES
AND RAISIN' HELL ♪

391
00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:34,357
HEY.

392
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:37,818
GOD, WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT?

393
00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:41,572
I WENT AND HAD A FEW
BEERS WITH THE OLD MAN.

394
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:47,578
IT WAS PRETTY SPECIAL.

395
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,122
OH, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, I...

396
00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:54,377
I CAME BY.

397
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:59,840
YOU CAME BY?

398
00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:01,550
YEAH.

399
00:21:01,718 --> 00:21:04,262
I CAME BY 'CAUSE
I WAS THINKIN'...

400
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:07,723
LAST NIGHT WAS THE NIGHT.

401
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:17,858
LAST NIGHT?

402
00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:19,735
MMM.

403
00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:23,072
I WILL DEFINITELY
BE HERE TONIGHT.

404
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,366
NAH, TONIGHT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT.

405
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:26,867
RIGHT.

406
00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:28,494
NOT THE WAY LAST NIGHT FELT.

407
00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:32,039
OH, RIGHT.

408
00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:34,917
OH, MY GOD.

409
00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:38,421
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER AND FOX BROADCASTING

410
00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:40,548
I REALLY DO LOVE JACKIE,

411
00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,883
AND SHE SAYS THAT WE
CAN'T SEE OTHER PEOPLE.

412
00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:45,011
SO...

413
00:21:45,178 --> 00:21:47,305
OH, SWEET KELSO.

414
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:51,934
YOU'RE A TOOL, AND I WILL
USE YOU WHEN I PLEASE.

415
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:54,061
OKAY, BABY?

416
00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:56,480
OKAY.

417
00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:57,940
HI, DADDY.

418
00:21:58,108 --> 00:22:00,276
HI, SWEETIE.

419
00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:03,904
OH, KELSO.

420
00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:07,158
YOU WATCH YOUR ASS.