1
00:00:00,959 --> 00:00:05,379
[MUSIC]

2
00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:10,676
ERIC, YOU'VE HARDLY
TOUCHED YOUR BREAKFAST.

3
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:14,304
THAT'S BECAUSE I DON'T
KNOW WHAT IT IS.

4
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:18,183
WELL, IT'S JUST... IT'S
EGGS AND HASH AND SOME...

5
00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:22,021
SURPRISES.

6
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:23,689
MOM, WHY AREN'T YOU EATING IT?

7
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:27,943
WELL, I JUST, I HAVE NEVER
BEEN A BREAKFAST PERSON.

8
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:30,404
IS THIS RABBIT?

9
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,239
NO.

10
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:33,490
MOM, IF DADDY GETS A JOB,

11
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:36,243
CAN WE STOP EATING DOG FOOD?

12
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,120
LAURIE, IT IS NOT DOG FOOD,

13
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:41,457
AND GOD, I HOPE SO.

14
00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:43,333
SO,

15
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:45,002
WOULD YOU HIRE ME?

16
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,378
I'D HIRE YOU, DADDY.

17
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:47,713
ESPECIALLY IF THE POSITION

18
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:51,133
WAS WORLD'S BEST FATHER.

19
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:54,511
AW, YOU MAKE ME SICK.

20
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:57,347
IS IT HORSE?

21
00:00:57,390 --> 00:01:01,894
NO, IT IS NOT HORSE.

22
00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:04,688
HONEY, NOW I KNOW,
I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN

23
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,315
JUST A LITTLE BIT BLUE

24
00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:07,816
SINCE THE PLANT CLOSED,

25
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:12,112
SO I GOT YOU A PRESENT.
HA HA HA.

26
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,574
♪ TA-DA! ♪

27
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,660
YOU'RE HIRED.

28
00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:21,580
THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE
FOR JOB HUNTING.

29
00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:23,123
KITTY...

30
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:24,875
I DON'T NEED THAT.

31
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,710
I'VE BEEN WORKING
SINCE I WAS 16,

32
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,378
I FOUGHT IN 2 WARS,

33
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:31,340
HELL, I KILLED PEOPLE.

34
00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:34,718
I'M NOT SAYING THAT
I DIDN'T ENJOY IT.

35
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,095
NO, NO, NO, NO.
I JUST, YOU KNOW,

36
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,805
I JUST THOUGHT
I'D GIVE YOU A LITTLE EDGE.

37
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,306
I DON'T NEED AN EDGE.

38
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:40,599
I'M RED FORMAN.

39
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:43,936
I'M EXPERIENCED,
LOYAL, HARD-WORKING.

40
00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:46,313
THAT'S THE TRIFECTA
OF EMPLOYABILITY.

41
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:49,233
WELL, THANKS, SWEETIE.

42
00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:51,485
GOOD LUCK, HONEY.

43
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:52,694
BYE, DADDY.

44
00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:53,904
Red: OKAY.

45
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:57,950
I'VE GOT IT. IT'S TONGUE.

46
00:01:57,992 --> 00:02:00,702
[WHISPERING] It's tongue.

47
00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:06,625
♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪

48
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:10,254
♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪

49
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:13,882
♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪

50
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:17,177
♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪

51
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:21,348
♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪

52
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:25,018
♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪

53
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:29,356
♪ WE ALL ALRIGHT ♪
♪ WE ALL ALRIGHT ♪♪

54
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,526
HELLO, WISCONSIN!

55
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,536
ALL RIGHT, IT'S OFFICIAL.

56
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,873
MY PARENTS ARE FREAKS.

57
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:49,793
WHICH ONE OF YOU IS MY
BOYFRIEND AGAIN?

58
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,378
RIGHT. IT'S YOU.

59
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:54,089
YOU'RE TAKING ME OUT OF
THIS STINKIN' TOWN TONIGHT.

60
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:55,507
W-W-WAIT, DONNA,

61
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:59,511
DON'T YOU WANNA KNOW
WHY FEZ IS IN HIS UNDIES?

62
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,597
NO.

63
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,391
IT IS A REALLY CRAZY STORY.

64
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,435
OH, OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

65
00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:08,020
I'LL TELL YOU A CRAZY STORY.

66
00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:11,857
IT ALL STARTED LIKE
4 MINUTES AGO...

67
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:15,944
Both: OOM.

68
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:21,283
OH, GOOD GOD. WHAT ARE
YOU GUYS DOING NOW?

69
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:24,828
YOGA. I'M TRYING TO ALIGN
YOUR FATHER'S CHAKRAS.

70
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:29,124
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE DAMN
THINGS WERE OUT OF WHACK.

71
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,835
WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS BE NORMAL?

72
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:35,380
DONNA, YOUR NEGATIVITY
IS BRUISING OUR AURAS.

73
00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:37,007
PLEASE LEAVE.

74
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,175
GLADLY.

75
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,384
OH, AND HONEY,

76
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:41,136
WE'RE ALSO EXPLORING
TANTRIC SEX.

77
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,638
SO, IF YOU HEAR
ANY STRANGE NOISES

78
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,181
COMING FROM MOMMY
AND DADDY'S BEDROOM...

79
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,016
EWW!

80
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,144
WHY MUST YOU GUYS FREAK
ME OUT ON A DAILY BASIS?

81
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,063
I DON'T WANT TO
PICTURE YOU NAKED,

82
00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:54,900
AND I'M LEAVING NOW. FOREVER.

83
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:58,403
Both: OOM.

84
00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:01,031
OUCH. OKAY, DONNA,

85
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,366
I THINK WE NEED TO TAKE YOU OUT

86
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:05,494
FOR SOME DIRTY BAD FUN.

87
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:07,204
THANK YOU, ERIC.

88
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,622
OH, YOU WANT DIRTY BAD FUN?

89
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,999
LISTEN TO THIS.

90
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,919
I CAME HERE FULLY CLOTHED.

91
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,921
OH! NO, NO, I KNOW.

92
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,965
THERE'S THIS NEW CLUB
THAT OPENED IN CHICAGO.

93
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,258
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE,

94
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,677
LIKE, THE HOTTEST SPOT
THIS SIDE OF STUDIO 54.

95
00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:23,720
GOD, YOU GUYS, THAT'S PERFECT.

96
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:26,139
NO, NO, MICHAEL, WE CAN'T GO.

97
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,141
MY PARENTS ARE GONNA
BE OUT LATE TONIGHT,

98
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:33,438
AND WE HAVE TO STUDY.

99
00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:38,193
STUDY? AH, WHAT A GYP.
I'M GOING TO THE CLUB.

100
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:39,945
NO. NO... NO, MICHAEL,

101
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,863
YOU'RE COMING OVER
TO MY HOUSE TONIGHT

102
00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:43,824
AND WE'RE GONNA...

103
00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:47,744
STUDY.

104
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,497
FINE.

105
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:54,167
I NEVER GET TO DO ANYTHING FUN.

106
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:57,379
GOD, YOU'RE DUMB.

107
00:04:57,422 --> 00:05:01,174
I GUESS THAT'S WHY
I'VE GOTTA GO STUDY.

108
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,347
[THINKING] HI. RED FORMAN.

109
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:10,517
EXPERIENCED, LOYAL,
HARD-WORKING.

110
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,478
YEAH.

111
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,690
All: HEY! THAT'S RED!

112
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,608
SO, ALL YOU GUYS FROM THE, UH,

113
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,153
FROM THE PLANT, HUH?

114
00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:24,948
SO, WE'RE ALL GOING
AFTER THE SAME JOB.

115
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:28,827
WELL. THAT'S, UH,
THAT'S TERRIFIC.

116
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,038
BOY, I WISH I HAD
YOUR CONFIDENCE, RED.

117
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,622
I GOT NOTHING.

118
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,041
ALL I CAN THINK
TO DO IS TELL THIS GUY

119
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:38,378
I'M EXPERIENCED,
LOYAL, AND HARD-WORKING.

120
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:43,300
[THINKING] SON OF A BITCH.

121
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:54,811
SO, I BROUGHT MY BOOKS.

122
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:58,023
MICHAEL, WE'RE NOT GONNA STUDY.

123
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,442
WE'RE NOT?

124
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:03,070
NO.

125
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:09,326
MY PARENTS ARE GONNA
BE GONE FOR HOURS.

126
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:13,789
OH!

127
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:18,919
SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

128
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,744
OH, CHECK IT OUT. BOWIE.

129
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,746
MAN, HE'S COOL.

130
00:06:54,789 --> 00:07:02,212
YEAH. ANDROGYNOUS
GUYS ARE SO MANLY.

131
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,630
MICHAEL?

132
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,633
DO YOU KNOW WHO WOULD LOOK
TOTALLY, TOTALLY SEXY,

133
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:09,177
GLAMMED UP LIKE BOWIE?

134
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,512
WHO?

135
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:12,472
YOU, MICHAEL.

136
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:15,851
YOU'RE CRAZY.

137
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:18,103
NO, I'M NOT GLAMMED.

138
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,063
N-N-NO, COME ON, MICHAEL.

139
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,107
YOU HAVE SUCH PRETTY EYES.

140
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,318
WELL, MY LASHES
DO GO OUT LIKE A MILE.

141
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:26,653
AND WITH THIS,

142
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,530
I CAN FLIP 'EM UP.

143
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,198
NO WAY!

144
00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:33,368
YEAH, YEAH.

145
00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:39,124
[THE BEE GEE'S
STAYIN'ALIVE PLAYING]

146
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,021
Donna: ERIC, YOU HERE?

147
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:05,317
YEAH, I'M IN THE LIVING
ROOM, BABY.

148
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,825
WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?

149
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,535
YOU'RE REALLY...

150
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,871
BRICK HOUSE.

151
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:19,206
THANKS, YOU WANNA...

152
00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:20,415
SHH.

153
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:21,750
LET ME JUST STARE
AT YOU FOR A SECOND.

154
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:22,959
CAN WE JUST...

155
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:24,461
IP.

156
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,964
OKAY, I'M READY.

157
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,306
GOD, THIS IS STUPID.

158
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,600
SHUT UP, MICHAEL.
I'M ALMOST DONE.

159
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:42,312
I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET
YOU TALK ME INTO THIS.

160
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:46,399
OKAY. HERE, TAKE A LOOK.

161
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,276
FINE.

162
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,820
OKAY, YEAH.
MY EYES ARE GORGEOUS.

163
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:53,865
SEE? SEE, I TOLD YOU.

164
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,785
MICHAEL, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU NEED NOW?

165
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:59,204
SOME BLUSH.

166
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,207
W-W-WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, JACKIE.

167
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,833
ALL RIGHT, GLAM IS ONE THING,

168
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:07,420
BUT I THINK WE'RE
CROSSING OVER INTO WEIRD.

169
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:09,965
NO, NO, TRUST ME,
MICHAEL. WE'RE NOT.

170
00:09:10,007 --> 00:09:11,758
WITH CHEEKBONES LIKE THAT?

171
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:15,971
BLUSH IS YOUR BEST FRIEND.

172
00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:19,224
YEAH, I DO HAVE
BITCHIN' CHEEKBONES.

173
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:22,269
OKAY, LET'S BLUSH.

174
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:34,656
PEOPLE ARE SO
FRIENDLY AROUND HERE.

175
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:36,116
2 WOMEN ON THE CORNER

176
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:39,160
JUST OFFERED TO
HAVE SEX WITH ME.

177
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:42,205
YEAH, FOR MONEY, FEZ.

178
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:46,251
I COULD NOT ASK THEM FOR MONEY.

179
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:48,920
OR COULD I?

180
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,630
WOW, GUYS, CHECK OUT THIS CROWD.

181
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:52,173
I KNOW. THIS IS
GONNA BE SO GREAT.

182
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:54,509
LET'S GO SEE
HOW LONG THE WAIT IS.

183
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:55,885
EXCUSE ME, HOW LONG...

184
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,095
YOU'RE IN.

185
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,388
OH, MAN. I'M SO UP FOR THIS.

186
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,057
NOT YOU.

187
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,392
WELL, THAT'S FINE.

188
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,768
I'LL JUST WAIT WITH YOU GUYS.

189
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:05,562
NO, WE'RE NEXT. GO IN.

190
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:09,441
YEAH? ALL RIGHT. I'LL
SEE YOU GUYS INSIDE.

191
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,151
YOU KNOW WHAT?

192
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:15,071
THIS IS PROBABLY JUST SOME
KIND OF FIRE CODE THING.

193
00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:17,198
YEAH, OKAY, WAIT.
WHAT'S GOING ON?

194
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:18,617
WE'RE NEXT.

195
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:21,286
NO, YOU'RE NOT.

196
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,413
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

197
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,916
WELL, ARCHIE.

198
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:29,002
I'M HERE TO LET
THE COOL PEOPLE IN

199
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,588
AND KEEP THE GEEKS OUT.

200
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:36,301
THOSE POOR STUPID GEEKS.

201
00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:42,140
OH, MY GOD, WE ARE GEEKS!

202
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,317
HEY.

203
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,027
DID SLIPPING THE
BOUNCER A 10 WORK?

204
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,403
YES, IT DID, HYDE.

205
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:59,532
THAT'S WHY I'M INSIDE THE CLUB.

206
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:01,076
THERE YOU ARE.

207
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:03,578
THIS PLACE IS AWESOME.
WHY AREN'T YOU INSIDE?

208
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:07,457
OH, WE WERE IN. WE
WERE ON THE INSIDE.

209
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,958
I DIDN'T SEE YOU.

210
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,293
OH, YEAH. WE WAVED AT YOU,

211
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,420
BUT YOU WERE, UH...

212
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,838
DANCING.

213
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:15,131
EXCELLENT.

214
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:16,549
UH, YOU WERE DANCING,

215
00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:18,093
AND THEN WE WENT THROUGH THIS...

216
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:19,469
DOOR.

217
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,012
YES. WE WENT THROUGH THIS DOOR,

218
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,681
AND WE WERE LOCKED OUT.

219
00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:24,099
UH, AND THEN WE HAD TO GET

220
00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:25,433
IN THE BACK OF THE LINE, SO...

221
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:28,603
ALL RIGHT, WELL, WHEN YOU GET
BACK INSIDE, FIND ME.

222
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,230
GO, YEAH.

223
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:31,773
YEAH, GO. YEAH, GO.

224
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,024
WE'LL MEET ON THE INSIDE.

225
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,317
OKAY.

226
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,985
All: YEAH, GO.

227
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,987
THAT WAS REALLY SMOOTH.

228
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,906
SMOOTH ENOUGH TO GET US IN?

229
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:42,867
NO.

230
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:45,578
OKAY, THAT'S IT.
YOU MUST LET ME IN.

231
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:47,080
WHY?

232
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,957
BECAUSE I FEEL THE
HOT RHYTHM OF DISCO

233
00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:53,002
BURNING IN MY LOINS.

234
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:58,341
WATCH.

235
00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:17,569
OKAY. YOU'RE IN.

236
00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:21,030
SO LONG, LOSERS.

237
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:25,910
SO, YOU'RE SAYING THAT
THIS STUFF WON'T COME OFF?

238
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,955
LIKE, EVEN IF I CRY?

239
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:31,249
MAN, THAT'S GREAT.

240
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:36,045
OH, MICHAEL, YOU ARE THE
BEST DOLL I HAVE EVER HAD.

241
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:37,213
YOU KNOW WHAT?

242
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,496
I HAVE THE PERFECT GOWN FOR YOU.

243
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:41,593
A-ALL RIGHT, JACKIE, SLOW DOWN.

244
00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:43,928
OKAY, WEARING LIPSTICK
IS ONE THING,

245
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:48,308
BUT A GOWN?
THAT'S KIND OF FRUITY.

246
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:50,477
NO, NO, IT'S NOT, MICHAEL.

247
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,103
BOWIE WEARS DRESSES.

248
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,022
JOE NAMATH WEARS PANTYHOSE.

249
00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:56,232
JACKIE. NO.

250
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,859
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

251
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:01,029
JACKIE, I SAID NO.

252
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:05,575
ALL RIGHT. NOTHING TOO
GIRLY, AND I MEAN IT!

253
00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:17,170
[GRUNTS]

254
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:22,550
WELL, SO MUCH FOR YOUR "HE
CAN'T STOP BOTH OF US" THEORY.

255
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:24,302
THIS BITES, MAN.

256
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,095
HE CAN'T KEEP US OUT OF
THERE. I MEAN, WHAT?

257
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:29,098
DID WE WAKE UP IN
RUSSIA THIS MORNING?

258
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:31,643
NO. WE DID NOT, IN FACT,

259
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:34,103
WAKE UP IN RUSSIA THIS MORNING.

260
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,606
I DIDN'T THINK SO.

261
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,733
HEY, LET ME TELL
YOU SOMETHING, PAL.

262
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,194
YOU'RE PROPPING UP
A DYING SYSTEM, MAN.

263
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:43,696
YOU SEE, SOMEDAY SOON,
PEOPLE ARE GONNA WAKE UP,

264
00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:46,324
AND THEY'RE GONNA REALIZE THAT
MOST OF US DON'T FIT INTO YOUR

265
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,993
HOLLYWOOD, MADISON AVENUE,
CANDY-COATED IDEAL

266
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,411
OF WHAT'S COOL.

267
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:52,664
AND WHEN WE DO,
WE'RE GONNA RISE UP,

268
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:54,457
WE'RE GONNA PUT YOU ON TRIAL,

269
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,000
THEN PARADE THROUGH THE STREETS

270
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:59,879
WITH YOUR HEAD ON A STICK.

271
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:04,259
RIGHTEOUS POLITICAL
OUTRAGE. YOU'RE IN.

272
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:12,642
ALL RIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU
LATER, FORMAN.

273
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:23,695
YEAH, WELL, WHEN THE
REVOLUTION COMES, MAN,

274
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:27,949
YOUR BACKS COULD BE
UP AGAINST THE WALL,

275
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,994
DAMN IT, LET ME IN! MY
GIRLFRIEND'S IN THERE!

276
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,871
THE FOXY REDHEAD?

277
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:36,124
I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOUR SISTER.

278
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:39,961
WHAT DOES SHE SEE IN YOU?

279
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:41,838
YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SEES, BUDDY?

280
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:46,217
YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SEES?

281
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:50,889
WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,

282
00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:52,140
IF SHE WAS THE BOUNCER,

283
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:54,058
I'D BE IN THAT STUPID
CLUB RIGHT NOW,

284
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,019
YOU BIG ASS.

285
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,813
YEAH. I SAID IT.

286
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:06,654
HI, HONEY.

287
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:12,410
UH-OH.

288
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,288
I DIDN'T GET THE JOB.

289
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:19,042
OKAY, WELL, YOU WILL
GET THEM NEXT TIME.

290
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,252
AH, KITTY.

291
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,713
THE WORLD'S CHANGING.

292
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:24,923
THINGS AREN'T TURNING OUT

293
00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:29,260
THE WAY I EXPECTED.

294
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:31,054
WELL, RED,

295
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:34,974
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?

296
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:38,186
WELL...

297
00:15:38,228 --> 00:15:41,022
I DON'T KNOW, I...

298
00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:44,734
Announcer: TAKE THAT, HIROHITO.

299
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,486
AND THAT.

300
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:48,780
YES, WITH AMERICA'S VICTORY
OVERSEAS NOW COMPLETE,

301
00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:50,740
OUR FIGHTING BOYS RETURN HOME,

302
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,158
WHERE THE AMERICAN WORKING MAN

303
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:55,328
TAKES HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE
ON THE THRONE.

304
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:58,206
"HI, HONEY. HOW WAS YOUR DAY?"

305
00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:01,209
"THEY GAVE ME ANOTHER RAISE."

306
00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:03,169
"OH, HONEY, WITH ALL
THE MONEY YOU MAKE,

307
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:06,047
IT'S NO WONDER
I DON'T HAVE TO WORK."

308
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,216
DAUGHTER LAURIE HAS A QUESTION.

309
00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:10,134
"DADDY, WHY IS
THE AMERICAN ECONOMY

310
00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:12,095
THE ENVY OF THE WORLD?"

311
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:14,263
"WELL," SAYS DAD,

312
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,807
"IT'S BECAUSE
THE AMERICAN WORKER

313
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:21,437
IS EXPERIENCED, LOYAL,
AND HARD-WORKING."

314
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,732
LOOKS LIKE JUNIOR
HAS SOME GOOD NEWS.

315
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:27,527
"SAY, DAD, YOU CAN STOP
GIVING ME MONEY NOW.

316
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:30,655
I JUST GOT A FOOTBALL
SCHOLARSHIP TO NOTRE DAME."

317
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:34,283
I GUESS EXPERIENCE,
LOYALTY, AND HARD WORK

318
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:37,328
"REALLY DO PAY OFF."

319
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,580
DAUGHTER LAURIE
HAS ANOTHER QUESTION.

320
00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:41,207
"DADDY, CAN YOU TELL ME

321
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,585
WHY GERMANY AND JAPAN'S
ECONOMIES NEVER RECOVERED?"

322
00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:48,339
"IT'S SIMPLE.
THEY ARE NOT EXPERIENCED,

323
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,425
"THEY ARE NOT HARD-WORKING,

324
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:52,427
"THEY ARE NOT LOYAL,

325
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:55,221
AND THEY DO NOT SPEAK ENGLISH."

326
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:58,349
SPEAKING OF WORK, MOM HAS
TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING.

327
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,518
"CAN I HAVE THE KEYS
TO THE CADILLAC?"

328
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:05,064
"HA HA. FORGET THE CADILLAC.
TAKE THE HOVERCRAFT."

329
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:12,864
THE HOVERCRAFT?

330
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:17,869
WHAT? THEY PROMISED US
HOVERCRAFTS.

331
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:22,206
JUST ANOTHER DAMN
BROKEN PROMISE.

332
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:30,006
OKAY, CREAM AND 2 SUGARS.

333
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,216
WELL, YOU JUST DRINK UP,

334
00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:35,261
AND I'LL JUST... I DON'T
KNOW, HEAD INSIDE.

335
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:36,888
YEAH. NO.

336
00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:39,515
OH, COME ON. YOU SUCK.

337
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,309
MR. BIG SHOT BOUNCER,

338
00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:43,227
MR. "I OPEN AND CLOSE THE ROPE,"

339
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:48,483
MR. BOAT MAN ON THE RIVER STYX,

340
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,693
JUST, GOD, I BET YOU'VE
NEVER BEEN EXCLUDED

341
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,403
FROM ANYTHING IN
YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

342
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:54,072
HEY, THAT'S NOT FAIR.

343
00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:55,907
I'VE BEEN EXCLUDED
FROM LOTS OF THINGS.

344
00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:59,827
YEAH? LIKE WHAT?

345
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:04,207
OH, NO, OKAY.

346
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,750
UH, WHEN I WAS IN KINDERGARTEN,

347
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:08,377
WE USED TO PLAY
DUCK, DUCK, GOOSE,

348
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:12,882
AND NOBODY EVER PICKED ME
TO BE THE GOOSE.

349
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:16,844
OH, WOW. THAT MUST
HAVE REALLY HURT.

350
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,806
I DIDN'T CARE.

351
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:22,350
YOU DIDN'T CARE, UH-HUH?

352
00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:23,768
SO, YOU'RE JUST SITTING THERE,

353
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,603
WATCHING THIS KID GO
AROUND THE CIRCLE,

354
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,021
DUCK, DUCK, DUCK.

355
00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,606
HE'D GET CLOSER AND CLOSER.

356
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,108
DUCK. YOU'D BE SHAKING
WITH ANTICIPATION.

357
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:31,692
DUCK. MAYBE HE'LL PICK ME.

358
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:33,236
DUCK. MAYBE I'LL GET
TO RUN AND LAUGH

359
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,612
WITH THE JOY OF BEING THE GOOSE.

360
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:35,822
AND THEN HE'D COME TO YOU,

361
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,073
PLACE HIS HAND ON YOUR
HEAD AND SAY "DUCK,"

362
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,699
AND YOU'RE TELLING
ME YOU DIDN'T CARE?

363
00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:40,034
OKAY, YEAH, IT HURTS.

364
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:42,286
YES, THANK YOU.
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.

365
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:43,871
AND NOW YOU...

366
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:46,541
HAVE MADE ME...

367
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:50,002
THE DUCK!

368
00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:52,213
WOW.

369
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,799
OH, MAN. I DIDN'T REALIZE.

370
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,801
DANCE, GOOSE.

371
00:18:56,844 --> 00:19:00,638
DANCE.

372
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:21,993
OH, GOD, MICHAEL.

373
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,828
IN THAT DRESS, YOU ARE
WAY PRETTIER THAN BOWIE.

374
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:27,790
HELL, I'M PRETTIER THAN YOU.

375
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,460
THAT'S NOT FUNNY, MICHAEL.

376
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,466
DID YOU JUST HEAR A CAR PULL UP?

377
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:39,093
NO, NOT YET.

378
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,511
YOUR PARENTS AREN'T
SUPPOSED TO BE HOME

379
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,555
FOR LIKE, ANOTHER HOUR.

380
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,474
HEH. SPIN.

381
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:53,107
HI, DADDY.

382
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:55,109
WE'RE STUDYING.

383
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:56,819
AAH!

384
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,321
DADDY, NO! DADDY, I LOVE HIM!

385
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,740
AAH!

386
00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:04,785
WOW. WHAT A NIGHT, RIGHT?

387
00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:08,164
OH, PHEW, EXACTLY.

388
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:15,922
DONNA, WHY ARE YOU WITH ME?

389
00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:20,801
UM, THE BOUNCER WANTED TO KNOW.

390
00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:24,055
WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?

391
00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:28,226
YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T
THINK OF A REASON.

392
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,687
HMM.

393
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:35,608
YOU KNOW, COME TO THINK
OF IT, I CAN'T EITHER.

394
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:37,235
WHAT I NEED TO DO IS FIND A GUY

395
00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:39,237
WHO'S LIKE, TOTALLY
DIFFERENT FROM YOU.

396
00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:43,407
MAYBE BIG AND DUMB AND,
YOU KNOW, NOT NICE TO ME.

397
00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:44,825
OH, AND NO SENSE OF HUMOR,

398
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:46,244
SO WHEN I TELL A JOKE,
HE DOESN'T GET IT.

399
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:47,578
THAT'S A REAL TURN ON.

400
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:48,746
OKAY, ENOUGH.

401
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,456
NO. NO, NO, NO,
SERIOUSLY. THANK YOU.

402
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,500
I MEAN, IF YOU HADN'T HAVE
POINTED THIS OUT TO ME,

403
00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:54,669
I MIGHT HAVE WASTED
YEARS WITH YOU.

404
00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:58,172
I MEAN, I ALMOST
HAD SEX WITH YOU.

405
00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:00,883
WHOO! THANK YOU.

406
00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:03,010
OKAY, I THINK
THE QUESTION HAS BECOME

407
00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:05,930
WHY AM I WITH YOU?

408
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,312
OH, RIGHT, OKAY.

409
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:17,692
I HAD A GREAT TIME.

410
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:21,320
GOOD NIGHT.

411
00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:30,413
[THE BEE GEE'S
STAYING ALIVE PLAYING]

412
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,757
Kelso: YEAH.

413
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,593
LAST NIGHT, I WAS WITH JACKIE,

414
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:48,472
TONIGHT, I'LL BE WITH LAURIE.

415
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:55,646
IT'S JUST THE KIND OF LIFE
A STUD LIKE ME LEADS.

416
00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:57,231
WHAT?

417
00:21:57,274 --> 00:22:01,235
Er¡c: KELSO,
YOUR MASCARA'S RUNNING.

418
00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:03,404
DAMN.

419
00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:06,073
SHE TOLD ME IT WAS WATERPROOF.

420
00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:09,827
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