1
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[MUSIC]

2
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A UNICEF CONTRIBUTION
OF 13 CENTS

3
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:10,050
"WILL FEED A CHILD FOR A MONTH."

4
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:13,303
MAN, LIVING IN AFRICA
MUST BE GREAT.

5
00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:15,222
EVERYTHING'S SO CHEAP.

6
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:18,017
IF YOU ASK ME, MAN,
UNICEF'S A SCAM.

7
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:20,894
IF WE ASK YOU,
EVERYTHING'S A SCAM.

8
00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:22,730
EVERYTHING IS A SCAM.

9
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:24,106
OH, LIGHTEN UP.

10
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,774
REMEMBER HOW MUCH FUN
HALLOWEEN USED TO BE?

11
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:28,068
MAKING COSTUMES,
TRICK-OR-TREATING.

12
00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,987
WHAT IS TRICK-OR-TREATING?

13
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:31,995
WELL, YOU PUT ON A COSTUME,
YOU GO DOOR-TO-DOOR

14
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,700
AND SAY, "TRICK OR TREAT,"
AND PEOPLE GIVE YOU CANDY.

15
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:38,829
OH, YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

16
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:41,206
THEY JUST GIVE YOU CANDY?

17
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:42,708
THE BEST PART OF HALLOWEEN
IS GETTING THE CRAP

18
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,209
SCARED OUT OF YOU.

19
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,586
ONE YEAR I SAW
THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW,

20
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:48,839
I COULDN'T SLEEP
FOR, LIKE, A MONTH.

21
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,511
THEY GIVE YOU CANDY?

22
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:57,014
JUST LIKE THAT? NO STRINGS?

23
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,766
YES, FEZ. GET OVER IT.

24
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,642
HEY, YOU GUYS, YOU KNOW WHAT?

25
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:02,269
MY CHURCH IS DOING
A HAUNTED HOUSE.

26
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:03,729
I REALLY DON'T THINK
ANYONE'S GONNA BE SCARED

27
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:07,024
BY A BUNCH OF EPISCOPALIANS.

28
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:09,902
UNLESS THEY HAVE CHAINSAWS.

29
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,529
LET'S GO SEE THE TEXAS
CHAINSAW MASSACRE.

30
00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:14,073
MICHAEL, I TOLD YOU,

31
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,950
I DON'T LIKE TEXANS.

32
00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,121
I KNOW. WE COULD GO TO OLD MAIN.

33
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:22,456
OUR OLD GRAMMAR SCHOOL?

34
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:23,749
YEAH, SURE, YOU KNOW.

35
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,168
A DARK, BURNT-OUT,
BOARDED-UP SCHOOL.

36
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:27,628
VERY CREEPY.

37
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:30,172
WE COULD... YOU KNOW,
WE COULD TELL GHOST STORIES.

38
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:35,219
FREE CANDY?

39
00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:37,888
EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT
FROM THIS COUNTRY?

40
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,974
YES!

41
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:43,185
HEY, WHY'D THEY
BURN DOWN THE SCHOOL, ANYWAY?

42
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:46,355
OH, THEY SAID IT WAS ARSON.

43
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:56,323
WHAT? I WAS OUT OF TOWN
THAT WEEK.

44
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:58,659
HMM.

45
00:01:58,827 --> 00:01:59,910
HOW CONVENIENT.

46
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:03,288
SO YOU'RE TELLING ME...

47
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,165
THAT IF I SHOW UP
AT SOMEONE'S HOUSE

48
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,209
AND SAY "TRICK OR TREAT,"
THEY'LL GIVE ME

49
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,753
A FREE PIECE OF CANDY?

50
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:12,798
All: YES!

51
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:16,135
OH, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

52
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:19,847
[DOORBELL RINGS]

53
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:22,891
TRICK OR TREAT.

54
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,396
AN APPLE?

55
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,189
WHERE'S MY CANDY,
YOU SON OF A BITCH?

56
00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:32,693
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER
PRODUCTIONS AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

57
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:36,363
♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪

58
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:40,033
♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪

59
00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:43,662
♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪

60
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,166
♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪

61
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:51,128
♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪

62
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:54,673
♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪

63
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:59,178
♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪

64
00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:02,139
HELLO, WISCONSIN!

65
00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:11,231
Woman in movie: AAAAH!

66
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:14,693
OH, SHE'S VERY GOOD.

67
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,695
I LIKE HER. I HOPE SHE LIVES.

68
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,698
Woman: AAAAHH!

69
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,074
HUH.

70
00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:24,077
OH, WELL.

71
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,663
WELL, WHY DOESN'T ANYONE
JUST SHOOT HIM?

72
00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:30,459
I MEAN, IT'S TEXAS.
EVERYONE HAS A GUN.

73
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,921
YEAH, YEAH.
THIS MOVIE'S SO LAME.

74
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:39,551
MAN, SHE DESERVED IT.

75
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:40,844
SHE HAD SEX.

76
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:44,681
AND LIKE ALL MOVIE SLUTS
BEFORE HER, SHE MUST DIE.

77
00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:46,683
Woman: AAAAAHH!

78
00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:50,395
NO. SHE WAS ABOUT TO
TAKE HER SHIRT OFF.

79
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,861
Kids: TRICK OR TREAT!

80
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,863
HA HA HA HA!

81
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,949
OKAY, HERE YOU GO.

82
00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:03,617
MMM!

83
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,619
RAISINS!

84
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,621
EEW! EEW! EEW!

85
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,289
NO, RAISINS ARE GOOD FOR YOU.

86
00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:12,960
RAISINS ARE NATURE'S CANDY.

87
00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:17,798
EGGS ARE NATURE'S HAND GRENADES.

88
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,591
KITTY, DON'T GIVE THEM RAISINS.

89
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,177
IT JUST PISSES THEM OFF.

90
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,637
JEEZ, I HATE HALLOWEEN.

91
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,098
WELL, YOU USED TO LOVE
HALLOWEEN.

92
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,808
REMEMBER THAT PARTY WE HAD

93
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,894
WHEN WE FIRST MOVED IN HERE?

94
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,857
OH. MOTHER FORMAN. HA HA.

95
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:39,528
I SEE THAT YOU
LET YOURSELF IN AGAIN.

96
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,655
BOY, THAT'S
AN AWFUL LOT OF FOOD.

97
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:45,242
I CAN'T IMAGINE THAT YOU HAVE
THAT MANY FRIENDS, KITTY.

98
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,494
OH.

99
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:48,996
WELL, SPEAKING OF FRIENDS,

100
00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:52,207
HOW ARE YOUR 4 CATS?

101
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,964
HEY, FRANK, UH, PULL MY FINGER.

102
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,258
NO WAY.

103
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:04,386
YOU WERE KILLIN' ME
IN THE CAR, MAN.

104
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:05,762
HA HA HA HA!

105
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,097
OH, GOOD, YOU'RE HOME.

106
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:08,348
HEY, KITTY.

107
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:09,683
I LIKE YOUR OUTFIT.

108
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,476
YOU'RE A KITTY.

109
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,020
YES, I AM, FRANK.

110
00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:14,521
AND WHAT ARE YOU?

111
00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:17,232
A BUM. I'M A BUM!

112
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,734
AND I KNEW THAT.

113
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,485
HA HA HA HA!

114
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,404
RED, HONEY, UM...

115
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:25,407
I... I... I COULD
USE SOME HELP HERE.

116
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,451
LOOK, UM...

117
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:28,785
GEE, KITTY,

118
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,193
I'D REALLY LIKE TO HELP YOU OUT,

119
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:33,582
BUT WE GOTTA TAKE THESE OUT
TO THE GARAGE AND GET PLOWED!

120
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,794
HE IS SUCH A GOOD BOY.

121
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,630
[RING]

122
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,134
HELLO.

123
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,511
OH, HI, DR. FARRELL.

124
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,221
HMM.

125
00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:52,893
[CHUCKLES] REALLY?

126
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:57,522
OH, MY GOD.

127
00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:59,566
OHH!

128
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:00,942
OH! THANK YOU.

129
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:02,986
THANK YOU, DOCTOR.

130
00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,571
[LAUGHING]

131
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,740
YEAH. THANK YOU.

132
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:14,289
WRONG NUMBER.

133
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:18,585
OH, GOD, NO!

134
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:21,004
YOU'RE PREGNANT.

135
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:23,090
YES, I AM.

136
00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:26,385
DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS?

137
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,515
YOU KNOW WHAT I HEAR IS NICE?

138
00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:33,767
FLORIDA.

139
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:41,108
LOOK AT THIS DUMP.

140
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,736
NO WONDER HYDE
TRIED TO BURN IT DOWN.

141
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,363
YOU KNOW, FEZ,

142
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,615
A MAN DIED IN THAT FIRE.

143
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:51,201
A GYM TEACHER.

144
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,495
COACH...

145
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,289
SMITH.

146
00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:57,749
SOME SAY HIS SPECTER

147
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,960
STILL ROAMS THE HALLS
TO THIS DAY.

148
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,546
[GHOSTLY VOICE]
TAKE A LA-A-A-P...

149
00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,798
GIVE ME 20.

150
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,883
WALK IT OF-F-F-F...

151
00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:10,971
ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
LET'S JUST CUT IT OUT, OKAY?

152
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:13,306
YOU'RE SCARING THE WOMEN.

153
00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:14,891
[WINDOW BANGS]

154
00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:16,726
OUT OF MY WAY!

155
00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:19,438
KELSO, IT WAS THE WINDOW.

156
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:22,149
YEAH, I KNEW THAT.

157
00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:24,025
OUT OF MY WAY?!

158
00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:25,777
NO, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

159
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:29,489
YES, YOU DID, JUST BEFORE
YOU KNOCKED HER OVER.

160
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,867
NO. I... I WAS PROTECTING YOU.

161
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:33,452
PROTECTING ME?

162
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:35,120
YEAH. I WAS TRYING
TO DRAW THE GHOSTS

163
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,663
AWAY FROM YOU.

164
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,111
GHOSTS ARE ATTRACTED
TO MOVEMENT.

165
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:40,000
THAT'S A SCIENTIFIC FACT.

166
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,793
YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T CARE.

167
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,212
YOU'RE AN IDIOT,
AND SCIENCE IS STUPID!

168
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,131
DONNA, LET'S GO.

169
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,468
GEE, WONDER WHAT
WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT.

170
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:52,721
YOU'RE DO-O-O-MED.

171
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,099
GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE
MICHAEL PUSHED ME

172
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:57,517
OUT OF THE WAY LIKE THAT.

173
00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:58,935
ME NEITHER.

174
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,812
I FIGURED HE'D USE YOU
AS A HUMAN SHIELD.

175
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:03,398
DONNA, THE MOST NOBLE THING
A MAN CAN DO

176
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:07,027
IS LAY DOWN HIS LIFE
FOR THE WOMAN HE LOVES.

177
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:11,823
IDEALLY, WHILE SHE'S STILL
YOUNG AND CAN REMARRY.

178
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:15,660
DO YOU KNOW
WHO PROTECTED ME THERE?

179
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:16,995
FEZ.

180
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,165
WELL, HE HAD TO. HE'S BATMAN.

181
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:28,006
AND THE MAN SAID...

182
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,467
HERE'S YOUR DAUGHTER'S SWEATER.

183
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,886
"SHE LEFT IT
IN MY CAR LAST NIGHT."

184
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,347
AND THE WOMAN SAID...

185
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,557
WHY, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

186
00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:40,477
MY DAUGHTER DIED 10 YEARS AGO...

187
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,270
WEARING THAT...

188
00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:45,023
VERY...

189
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,609
"SWEATER."

190
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,195
SO?

191
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,614
SO, SHE WAS DEAD.

192
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,742
AND... HE GAVE HER A RIDE.

193
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,745
AND SHE WAS DEAD!

194
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:00,330
WHEN I WAS 6,

195
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,375
THE MAYOR OF OUR TOWN
WAS HUNG FROM A TREE.

196
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,545
YOUR STORY WAS NOT SCARY.

197
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:07,879
NOT SCARY?

198
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:11,675
THE GHOST OF A DEAD GIRL
GAVE HIM HER SWEATER.

199
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:15,845
WHAT DOES A GHOST NEED
WITH A SWEATER, MAN?

200
00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:20,350
MAYBE IT'S TO KEEP HER GUTS
FROM FALLING OUT.

201
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:21,893
YOU CAN TELL IT WAS NOT SCARY

202
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:24,521
BECAUSE MICHAEL-INA HERE...

203
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:28,316
DID NOT RUN SCREAMING
FOR THE DOOR.

204
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:29,818
HEY. WHERE IS IT WRITTEN

205
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:32,445
THAT A GUY HAS TO PROTECT
HIS GIRL? HUH?

206
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:34,322
AND I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT
THE FEMININE FORM OF MY NAME

207
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:36,783
IS MICHELLE.

208
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,868
LOOK, MICHELLE...

209
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:41,371
I DON'T WANT TO COME OUT
IN FAVOR OF SAVING JACKIE,

210
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:42,831
BUT THAT'S THE PRICE YOU PAY

211
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:47,419
FOR DOCKING YOUR LOVE BOAT
IN JACKIE-VALLARTA.

212
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,755
OKAY. SO ICHABOD CRANE

213
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,967
LIVED IN THE VILLAGE
OF SLEEPY HOLLOW...

214
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,677
WAIT, DON'T TELL ME.

215
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:59,139
HE LEFT HIS JACKET SOMEWHERE.

216
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:01,182
OKAY, THAT'S IT.

217
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:02,642
HALLOWEEN'S OVER.

218
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,311
THERE'S JUST... THERE'S NOTHING
THAT SCARES US ANYMORE.

219
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:06,229
GUYS, WE FOUND SOMETHING SCARY.

220
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,732
YEAH, IT WAS IN
THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE.

221
00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:10,025
OH, MY GOD.

222
00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:11,651
THOSE LOOK LIKE...

223
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:13,194
LIKE...

224
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:14,904
THEY ARE.

225
00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:17,616
OUR PERMANENT RECORDS.

226
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:25,874
WOW!

227
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,501
OUR PERMANENT RECORDS.

228
00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:29,669
UH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

229
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:30,997
THEY PROBABLY LEFT THESE HERE

230
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,165
AFTER THE SCHOOL BURNED DOWN.

231
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:33,340
HEY.

232
00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:36,593
PINCIOTTI, DONNA.

233
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:40,138
WELL...

234
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,640
LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE WE KNOW
HAD A REAL HARD TIME

235
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:44,934
KEEPING THEIR CLOTHES ON
IN KINDERGARTEN.

236
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,561
WHAT?

237
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,105
IT WAS JUST A STUPID PHASE.

238
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:52,067
I'M SURE GLAD THAT'S OVER.

239
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,194
OH, LISTEN TO THIS.

240
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:57,989
I FEAR THAT DESPITE
STEVEN'S HIGH I.Q.,

241
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,574
HE IS A BORN TROUBLEMAKER

242
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:03,787
"AND IS DESTINED TO BE
THE SMARTEST MAN..."

243
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:08,541
IN HIS CELL BLOCK.

244
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:09,709
WHAT?!

245
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:12,837
THEY COULDN'T HAVE KNOWN THAT
IN SECOND GRADE.

246
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:16,758
STEVEN WILLFULLY AND MALICIOUSLY

247
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,176
DESTROYED CHRISTINE DEL BUENO'S

248
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:22,013
"SHOE BOX DIORAMA
OF THE 4 FOOD GROUPS."

249
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,765
YOU'RE A MONSTER.

250
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,726
A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE MONSTER.

251
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:28,687
YEAH, REAL FUNNY,
BUT I DIDN'T DO IT.

252
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,313
YOU KNOW WHAT'S
REALLY FUNNY, HYDE?

253
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:31,564
WHAT, FORMAN?

254
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:33,316
HEH HEH.

255
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,527
I BROKE THE DIORAMA.

256
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:36,945
YOU?

257
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,156
[THUNDER]

258
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,076
HERS WAS BETTER THAN MINE.

259
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:46,413
I HAD TO SMASH IT.

260
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:50,333
I LEFT OUT DAIRY.

261
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:53,336
YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHEN
EVERYBODY TURNED AGAINST ME.

262
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:55,672
THEY PEGGED ME AS A BAD KID.

263
00:11:55,840 --> 00:12:00,218
AND ONCE THAT HAPPENS,
YOU'RE LABELED FOREVER.

264
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,429
YOU RUINED MY LIFE, FORMAN.

265
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:04,222
NO, HE DIDN'T.

266
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,182
HYDE, NO OFFENSE,

267
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,143
BUT WITH AN ALCOHOLIC MOM
AND AN ABSENT DAD,

268
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:11,938
YOU WERE BOUND TO END UP
IN JAIL SOONER OR LATER.

269
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:14,816
HYDE, I SAID NO OFFENSE.

270
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,276
YEAH, RIGHT.

271
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:18,324
LET'S SEE WHAT THAT FILE
SAYS ABOUT YOU, JACKIE.

272
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:22,907
GO AHEAD. I HAVE
A PERFECT RECORD.

273
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:24,701
[SNORTING LAUGH]

274
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,370
WOULD ANYBODY LIKE TO KNOW
WHAT JACKIE'S MIDDLE NAME IS?

275
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:30,415
[PIERCING SHRIEK]

276
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:31,791
JACKIE'S MIDDLE NAME IS...

277
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:33,543
NOOO!

278
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:39,174
[WHACK WHACK WHACK]

279
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:46,848
AAH!

280
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:56,608
IT'S BEULAH.

281
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,948
[DOORBELL RINGS]

282
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:05,658
Kids: TRICK OR TREAT.

283
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,243
HA HA HA HA HA!

284
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:10,622
OH, YOU LOOK SO CUTE
IN YOUR LITTLE COSTUMES.

285
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:14,042
ARRRR!

286
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:16,085
[KIDS SCREAMING]

287
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:17,462
DAMN, FRANK, THAT'S FUNNY.

288
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,464
LOOK, HE LOST HIS CANDY.

289
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,049
HA HA HA HA!

290
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,425
OH, THAT WAS NOT FUNNY, RED.

291
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,760
THOSE WERE JUST LITTLE KIDS.

292
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,970
WELL, THAT'S WHAT
MAKES IT FUNNY.

293
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:27,430
WELL, THINK ABOUT IT, HONEY.

294
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:29,278
WOULD IT BE FUNNY
IF IT WERE YOUR OWN KIDS?

295
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:30,683
BUT I DON'T HAVE KIDS.

296
00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:31,935
WELL, YOU MIGHT.

297
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:34,729
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

298
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:37,023
I'M SAYING...

299
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,441
I'M PREGNANT.

300
00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:41,694
OH, NO!

301
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:44,531
NO, I MEAN, UH...

302
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:47,826
OH, CRAP.

303
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:50,745
YEAH.

304
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,008
OKAY, NOBODY MOVE.

305
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:08,888
SOMEBODY TOOK MY LAST BOX
OF SUGAR BABIES.

306
00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:15,395
OH, NO, WAIT.
I WAS SITTING ON THEM.

307
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:21,025
GEE, FEZ, YOU DIDN'T
GIVE FORMAN A CHANCE

308
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,443
TO PIN IT ON ME.

309
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:23,945
I DIDN'T PIN ANYTHING ON YOU.

310
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,113
NO?

311
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,364
WELL, WHEN MRS. HODGKISS

312
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,740
WAS YELLING AT ME
IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS,

313
00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:31,619
YOU DIDN'T EXACTLY STEP UP
AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.

314
00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:32,579
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

315
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,956
HMM. I GUESS I WAS THINKING
I'M 7!

316
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,499
HEY. HEY, HEY!

317
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,002
LET'S NOT FIGHT, ALL RIGHT?

318
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:41,546
IT'S HALLOWEEN, MAN.

319
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:45,258
IT'S TIME FOR PEACE ON EARTH
AND GOOD WILL TOWARDS MEN.

320
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,636
LET'S READ ANOTHER FILE.

321
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:50,346
YEAH, 'CAUSE THAT'S
WORKING OUT GREAT SO FAR.

322
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:53,641
ALL RIGHT, FINE. I'LL READ
FROM MY OWN, OKAY?

323
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,270
OH. OKAY.

324
00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,480
HERE'S A SECRET YOU GUYS
DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME

325
00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:01,065
BECAUSE IT HAPPENED THE
YEAR BEFORE I MOVED HERE.

326
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,400
WHEN I WAS IN FIRST GRADE,

327
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,694
I USED TO WEAR THIS
RED CAPE TO SCHOOL

328
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:06,529
AND PRETEND I WAS SUPERMAN.

329
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:10,825
YOU MUST HAVE LOOKED
REALLY STUPID.

330
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,583
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. FIRST GRADE?

331
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,084
YEAH.

332
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:21,669
NO, NO, NO. WHEN YOU MOVED HERE,

333
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,171
YOU AND I WERE IN FIRST
GRADE. THAT'S HOW WE MET.

334
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,299
NO, WE DIDN'T.

335
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:29,886
MAN, YOU HAD TO REPEAT
FIRST GRADE?

336
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,346
OH, MY GOD!

337
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:32,889
MICHAEL, SAY IT'S NOT TRUE.

338
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:36,184
IT WAS... IT WAS CURSIVE
WRITING, ALL RIGHT?

339
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,978
ALL THOSE STUPID SQUIGGLES
AND BUMPS.

340
00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:41,314
I WOULDN'T DO IT.

341
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,232
YOU MEAN YOU COULDN'T DO IT.

342
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:44,692
NO! I WOULDN'T DO IT!

343
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:47,362
AND THAT'S WHY
THEY HELD ME BACK.

344
00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:51,824
PLUS, I MIGHT HAVE
KILLED THE CLASS BUNNY.

345
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:54,702
WHY?!

346
00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:57,914
THAT'S OKAY, KELSO. LET IT OUT.

347
00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:00,083
I MEAN, IT SUCKED, YOU KNOW?

348
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:01,542
LIVING THIS LIE,

349
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,753
PRETENDING TO BE A YEAR
YOUNGER THAN I REALLY AM.

350
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:05,046
WAIT A MINUTE.

351
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,757
YOU'RE 18?

352
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,592
YEAH.

353
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:10,802
I MEAN...

354
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,178
THAT'S WHY I'VE ALWAYS
SEEMED MORE MATURE

355
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:15,682
THAN YOU GUYS.

356
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:17,183
ARE YOU TELLING ME

357
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:18,518
THAT ALL THIS TIME

358
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,937
YOU COULD HAVE BEEN
BUYING US BEER?

359
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:24,816
YOU BASTARD.

360
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:28,820
WHAT...

361
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:29,988
NO!

362
00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:31,030
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.

363
00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:33,574
YOU'RE DEAD TO ME.

364
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,618
BUT ERIC RUINED YOUR LIFE.

365
00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:40,164
AND IF I HAD A BEER, I COULD
BE GETTING OVER IT RIGHT NOW.

366
00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:46,629
BEER!

367
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,798
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,
JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE!

368
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:49,966
OKAY? BECAUSE HE MAY BE A LIAR,

369
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,467
BUT AT LEAST HE'S NOT
A BACKSTABBER LIKE ERIC.

370
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:53,970
STAY OUT OF THIS, BEULAH.

371
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:55,471
OH, DON'T CALL ME THAT.

372
00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:56,973
OH, SORRY...

373
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:59,642
BEULAH.

374
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,060
FINE.

375
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,520
YOU KNOW WHAT?

376
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,272
DONNA KISSED HYDE LAST YEAR.

377
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,648
WHAT?!

378
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,608
DON'T MESS WITH ME.

379
00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:08,860
THAT...

380
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,403
THAT'S A LIE. HYDE KISSED ME.

381
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:13,364
WELL, THAT IS JUST
SO MUCH BETTER.

382
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,116
HOW... HOW COULD YOU
DO THIS, MAN?

383
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:17,285
I GUESS I'M JUST
A BORN TROUBLEMAKER.

384
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:19,328
OR MAYBE YOU TURNED ME INTO ONE.

385
00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:20,788
YOU ARE SO DEAD, BEULAH.

386
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:23,666
HEY! LEAVE HER ALONE, ALL RIGHT?

387
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,084
OKAY. YEAH.

388
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:26,836
JACKIE TOLD ME
FEZ WAS A BETTER KISSER

389
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,379
THAN YOU, KELSO.

390
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:32,216
AAH!

391
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:34,104
HEY. WERE YOU EVER
GONNA TELL ME ABOUT HYDE?

392
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,054
IT HURTS WHEN YOUR FRIENDS
STAB YOU IN THE BACK, DON'T IT?

393
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,346
HOW WOULD I KNOW?!

394
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:38,973
I HAVE NO FRIENDS!

395
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,349
LET'S GO, PAL!

396
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,393
[ALL ARGUING
AND SHOUTING AT ONCE]

397
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:46,481
STOP IT!

398
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:51,069
CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING?

399
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:54,989
THOSE PERMANENT RECORDS
ARE TEARING US APART.

400
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:03,081
BATMAN'S RIGHT.

401
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:05,792
LOOK WHAT WE'VE BECOME.

402
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:08,169
WE'RE LIKE ANIMALS.

403
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,338
THOSE FILES

404
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,965
ARE EVIL, MAN.

405
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:14,300
WE'VE GOT TO DESTROY THEM.

406
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:15,718
BUT HOW, JACKIE?

407
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:18,554
HOW?

408
00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:21,307
OH, MY GOD.

409
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:24,102
NOW MY SUGAR BABIES
REALLY ARE GONE.

410
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,696
KITTY.

411
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:40,076
I'M REALLY SORRY
ABOUT WHAT I SAID.

412
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,661
YOU MEAN, "OH, NO"

413
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:46,374
AND "CRAP"?

414
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:49,085
RIGHT, THAT'S IT.

415
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:50,878
I'M SORRY. I...

416
00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:52,630
IT'S JUST...

417
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,633
WELL, IT WAS
A BIG SHOCK, YOU KNOW.

418
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,385
IT WAS A REALLY BIG SHOCK
FOR ME, TOO,

419
00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:01,389
AND I SAID, "OH, GOOD"
AND "YAY."

420
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,101
NO, I... I...
I FEEL LIKE THAT, TOO.

421
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:08,396
IT'S JUST THAT I...

422
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,523
WELL, I...

423
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:13,776
I NEEDED A MINUTE
FOR IT TO SINK IN.

424
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:17,738
BUT ONCE IT SUNK IN, I
REALIZED I WAS REALLY HAPPY.

425
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:22,326
YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?

426
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,036
OF COURSE I DO.

427
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:25,621
IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.

428
00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:27,248
I CAN'T WAIT TO BE A FATHER.

429
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:28,666
HEY, RED!

430
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,084
GREAT NEWS! I FOUND A WAY

431
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:33,421
TO DRINK BEER FASTER! COME ON!

432
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,175
GO HOME, FRANK.

433
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:38,801
I'M BUSY.

434
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:41,262
OKAY. YEAH.

435
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:44,599
OH, WOW.

436
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:46,017
HA HA.

437
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,352
I THINK YOU'RE MATURING.

438
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,062
WELL...

439
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:52,440
YOU KNOW, THE TRUTH IS...

440
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,859
FRANK'S GETTING ON MY
NERVES A LITTLE BIT.

441
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,445
I MEAN, HE'S... HE'S KIND OF...

442
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,989
HE'S AN ASS.

443
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,950
AND HE'S DUMB.

444
00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:04,785
HE'S A...

445
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:06,704
[HEAVENLY CHORUS SINGS]

446
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:11,751
DUMB-ASS.

447
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:15,838
HEY.

448
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:19,467
COME HERE.

449
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:32,813
AND THEN YOU GAVE BIRTH

450
00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:34,357
TO A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER.

451
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:35,816
AND THEN ERIC.

452
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:37,276
WHO IS JUST WONDERFUL.

453
00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:40,029
AND I'VE GROWN UP
A LOT SINCE THEN.

454
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:45,159
OH, YOU'RE DEAD, KID!

455
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:50,289
[WOLF HOWLING]

456
00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:56,587
MICHAEL, I'M COLD.

457
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:58,005
AND THIS IS STUPID.

458
00:20:58,173 --> 00:20:59,465
WE SHOULD JUST BURN THE FILES.

459
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,384
JACKIE, THEY'VE ALREADY
BEEN IN A FIRE.

460
00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:05,054
THEY CAN'T BE DESTROYED
THAT WAY.

461
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:08,474
SEE YOU IN HELL,
PERMANENT RECORDS.

462
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:14,313
AND WE HAVE TO SWEAR WE'LL
NEVER SPEAK OF THIS EVER AGAIN.

463
00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:18,567
EXCEPT THE PART ABOUT
KELSO BUYING US BEER.

464
00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:20,528
YEAH, NATURALLY.

465
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,405
BUT OTHERWISE, IT'S LIKE THIS
NIGHT NEVER HAPPENED, OKAY?

466
00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:24,115
OKAY.

467
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:27,952
YEAH.

468
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,247
BEULAH.

469
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:54,812
NOOO! NOOO! NOOO!

470
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:58,149
AAH!

471
00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,608
MMM.

472
00:21:59,776 --> 00:22:02,695
STOLEN SUGAR BABIES.

473
00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:06,949
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER
PRODUCTIONS AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY