1
00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:04,545
[MUSIC]

2
00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:05,713
HEY, CHECK IT OUT.

3
00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:07,047
I GOT AN "F" ON MY REPORT CARD.

4
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AN "F"? WHAT'D YOU FAIL?

5
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:12,219
ENGLISH.

6
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:16,640
ISN'T THAT WHAT WE SPEAK?

7
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HEY, I GOT A "B" IN SPANISH.

8
00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:24,982
WHEN DID I START TAKING SPANISH?

9
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WHOA.

10
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DONNA, THAT'S A CIGARETTE.

11
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EVEN WORSE, IT'S A MENTHOL.

12
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YOU'RE GONNA GET
SUSPENDED, LITTLE LADY.

13
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:36,410
WHEN DID YOU START SMOKING?

14
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WHAT? YOU JUST SAW ME LIGHT IT.

15
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THAT'S HA HA HA.

16
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COME ON, DONNA.

17
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YOU KNOW SMOKING CAUSES CANCER.

18
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I KNOW, BUT IT MAKES
ME LOOK COOL,

19
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SO IT'S AN EVEN TRADE.

20
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HOLD THIS?

21
00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:52,968
OH, GEEZ, FORMAN,

22
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HOLD IT LIKE A MAN, WOULD YA?

23
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SHUT UP!

24
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WOW, DONNA, FIRST
YOU FAIL ENGLISH,

25
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NOW YOU'RE SMOKING?

26
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,147
CAN I ASK YOU WHAT...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

27
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SMOKING, FAILING.

28
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HEY, FORMAN.

29
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SMOKING ON SCHOOL PROPERTY?

30
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NO, THAT'S NOT HIS. THAT'S MINE.

31
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NO, IT'S, UH...

32
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IT'S MINE. YEAH.

33
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MMM. MENTHOL.

34
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ERIC, QUIT IT.

35
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YEAH, OKAY. LET'S GO, FORMAN.

36
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DIOS MIO.

37
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NO ES BUENO.

38
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CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER
PRODUCTIONS AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

39
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♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪

40
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♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪

41
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♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪

42
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♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪

43
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♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪

44
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♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪

45
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♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪

46
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HELLO, WISCONSIN!

47
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ERIC FORMAN'S FIRST SUSPENSION.

48
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I'M SO PROUD.

49
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,399
NO WAY. BACK UP.

50
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:31,692
WHY'D HE GET SUSPENDED?

51
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,652
BECAUSE HE'S STUPID.

52
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:38,574
THEY CAN DO THAT?

53
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,868
NO. HE TOLD THEM
IT WAS HIS CIGARETTE,

54
00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:42,244
AND THAT'S STUPID.

55
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,829
PLEASE, DONNA, STOP.

56
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,165
DON'T FALL ALL OVER
YOURSELF THANKING ME.

57
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,541
I DIDN'T NEED YOUR HELP.

58
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:48,876
YEAH, FORMAN.

59
00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:51,336
I THINK SHE WANTS
TO GET IN TROUBLE.

60
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IT'S DONNA'S
LITTLE CRY FOR HELP.

61
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HELP ME! HELP ME!

62
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WE HEAR YOU, DONNA,

63
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AND WE LOVE YOU.

64
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GET BENT. YOU GUYS ARE JERKS.

65
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WAIT. WHY AM I A JERK?

66
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:06,768
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON.

67
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:08,604
THIS IS GREAT.

68
00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:09,938
WHY'D I EVEN TAKE THE FALL?

69
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,315
I MEAN, DONNA DOESN'T CARE.

70
00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:13,650
AND, YOU KNOW,
RED'S GONNA KILL ME.

71
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:16,403
RELAX, FORMAN, HE'S NOT GONNA...

72
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,572
OH, WAIT. DID YOU SAY KILL YOU?

73
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[LAUGHS]

74
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:23,535
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

75
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:24,703
HYDE, THIS ISN'T FUNNY.

76
00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:25,913
ON RED'S LIST OF SCREW-UPS,

77
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,414
GETTING SUSPENDED FROM SCHOOL
IS RIGHT UP THERE WITH...

78
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,542
BACKING OVER MY MOM.

79
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HEY, MAN. HAVING A CHICK
IS ABOUT SACRIFICE.

80
00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:35,021
LIKE JACKIE. SHE WANTS
TO DECORATE MY VAN

81
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:36,757
WITH SOME OF HER
GIRLY STUFF, RIGHT?

82
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,967
SO I TELL HER SHE CAN
HAVE ONE STUFFED ANIMAL.

83
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IN THE GLOVE BOX.

84
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SEE? SACRIFICE.

85
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KELSO, REMEMBER
HOW YOU USED TO PUT

86
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:47,801
YOUR WHOLE FIST IN YOUR MOUTH?

87
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,102
YEAH.

88
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DO IT NOW.

89
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:55,150
DAMN, WHY IS EVERYBODY
SO CRABBY TODAY?

90
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,612
WHAT'S IN THE SUITCASE?

91
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:02,699
STUFFED ANIMALS FOR
THE VAN, REMEMBER?

92
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,910
LOOK, MICHAEL, I KNOW
WE AGREED ON JUST ONE,

93
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,245
BUT THEN I GOT TO THINKING,

94
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:09,373
AND WELL, I WANT THEM ALL.

95
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:10,832
BUT...

96
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,459
BUT WHAT, MICHAEL?

97
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:15,212
BUT...

98
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,715
OKAY.

99
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:21,677
OH, EASE UP ON HER, KELSO.

100
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:25,013
YOU KNOW, SACRIFICE IS HARD.

101
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:28,308
SO, MY HOST PARENTS

102
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SET ME UP ON A BLIND DATE,

103
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,771
AND SHE HAS A FRIEND
FOR YOU, HYDE.

104
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:37,150
FINALLY. SOMEBODY TO LOVE.

105
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:39,236
AND IT GETS BETTER.

106
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THEY'RE NOT EVEN BLIND.

107
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[LAUGHS]

108
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GET IT? BLIND.

109
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SCREW YOU. THAT'S FUNNY.

110
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OH, HI, HONEY.

111
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YOUR MOM AND I ARE
GOING OUT TONIGHT.

112
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IT'S HAPPY HOUR AT SWINGLES.

113
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WHAT'S SWINGLES?

114
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,681
IT'S A SINGLES' BAR.

115
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,433
NO, IT'S A SWINGERS' BAR.

116
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,519
YEAH, IT'S BOTH.

117
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,813
AND YOU'RE NEITHER.

118
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DON'T GET INVOLVED, DONNA.

119
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THIS IS GROWN-UP STUFF.

120
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WELL, BEFORE YOU GO,

121
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THERE'S MY REPORT CARD.

122
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[GASPS]

123
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,072
AN "F"?

124
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,615
DONNA, WE'RE VERY DISAPPOINTED,

125
00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,503
AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE A
LONG TALK ABOUT THIS.

126
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:28,869
YES, WE ARE.

127
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RIGHT AFTER HAPPY HOUR.

128
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:35,625
PROVIDED WE DON'T MEET ANYONE.

129
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ALL RIGHT.

130
00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:38,712
I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON,

131
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,120
AND I'LL BE SURE TO TRY HARDER.

132
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,798
THERE'S OUR GIRL.

133
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:44,926
OOH, WISH US LUCK.

134
00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:55,270
WELCOME HOME, SMOKER.

135
00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:57,647
OH, NO.

136
00:05:57,815 --> 00:05:58,982
THE SCHOOL JUST CALLED.

137
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,902
YOU'RE LUCKY I ANSWERED
THE PHONE AND NOT DAD.

138
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,487
YOU DIDN'T TELL?

139
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:06,907
ERIC, OF COURSE I DIDN'T TELL.

140
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,201
WELL...

141
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,621
IF IT ISN'T MR. SMOKER.

142
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:17,793
OH, WAIT. YES, I DID.

143
00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:20,295
I'M NERVOUS.

144
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,963
DON'T BE NERVOUS.
YOU'LL GET SWEATY.

145
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:25,008
OH, NO. TOO LATE.

146
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:26,259
I CAN'T HELP IT.

147
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:28,345
THIS IS MY FIRST
OFFICIAL AMERICAN DATE.

148
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,679
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE, FEZ.

149
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:31,598
TO HELP YOU OUT, MAN.

150
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:32,766
UNLESS THEY'RE UGGOS,

151
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,685
AND THEN I'M GONE.

152
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,354
THERE THEY ARE,

153
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,398
AND THEY'RE NOT EVEN UGGOS.

154
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:41,775
NO, THEY'RE HOT.

155
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,653
AND THE BLONDE'S BLONDE AND HOT.

156
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,488
YES, AND SINCE I SET
US UP ON THIS DATE,

157
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,198
SHE'S MINE, RIGHT?

158
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,117
WELL, I CAN SEE WHY
YOU'D THINK THAT,

159
00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:51,368
BUT ACTUALLY,

160
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,036
SINCE I CAME ALONG
TO HELP YOU OUT,

161
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,704
AMERICAN CUSTOM DICTATES

162
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,873
THAT I GET THE BLONDE.

163
00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:58,125
ONCE AGAIN,

164
00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:01,420
THE LOCAL CUSTOM
BONES THE FOREIGN GUY.

165
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,796
AMERICA, MAN.

166
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,549
LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT.

167
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,973
AND THIS... THIS IS
CHAMOMILE THE CAMEL.

168
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,766
HE CAN SIT IN THE BACKSEAT,

169
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,643
BUT LLAMA CASS HERE,

170
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:20,188
SHE HAS TO SIT UP
IN THE FRONT WITH US.

171
00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:22,816
WELL, JACKIE, UH,

172
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,067
IT'S JUST...

173
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,902
I THOUGHT ALL YOU WANTED

174
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,350
WAS TO PUT IN ONE LITTLE ANIMAL.

175
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,447
WELL, I KNOW, MICHAEL,

176
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:29,656
BUT THIS WAY

177
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,908
THERE'LL BE EVEN MORE
THINGS TO REMIND YOU OF ME.

178
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:34,661
DON'T YOU LIKE
THINKING ABOUT ME?

179
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,496
NO, OF COURSE I DO.

180
00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:38,123
UH, THE THING IS...

181
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,374
HOW CAN I SAY THIS

182
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,543
WITHOUT HURTING YOUR FEELINGS?

183
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,670
OH. OKAY.

184
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:47,424
I DON'T WANT YOUR STUPID
THINGS IN MY COOL VAN.

185
00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:50,051
OH!

186
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:51,219
WHAT?

187
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,262
NO! I DIDN'T SAY
YOU WERE STUPID.

188
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,223
JUST EVERYTHING YOU LIKE!

189
00:07:57,685 --> 00:08:00,729
CONGRATULATIONS, ERIC.
YOU GOT SUSPENDED.

190
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:04,524
ARE YOU GETTING DUMBER?

191
00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:07,110
GEE, I DON'T THINK SO.

192
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:11,156
LOOK, DAD, I... I DON'T SMOKE.

193
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,950
DADDY, IF ERIC'S A SMOKER,

194
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:15,368
AND HE LIES ABOUT SMOKING,

195
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:19,414
DOESN'T THAT MAKE
HIM A SMOKING LIAR?

196
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:21,818
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S ENOUGH.

197
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,126
ERIC, HAVE SOME MORE POT ROAST.

198
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,128
HERE, HERE'S SOME
MASHED POTATOES,

199
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:27,422
AND HERE'S A PHOTO
OF A CANCEROUS LUNG.

200
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,884
WHOA!

201
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,385
MOM, GROSS!

202
00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:33,929
LOOK, I DON'T SMOKE!

203
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,555
OKAY, WELL, EITHER WAY,

204
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:36,973
THAT IS WHAT'S GONNA
HAPPEN TO YOUR LUNGS

205
00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:38,975
IF YOU KEEP ON SMOKING.

206
00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:41,061
WELL, THE WAY HE'S
SCREWING UP HIS LIFE,

207
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:45,649
DEATH WILL BE A SWEET RELEASE.

208
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:54,658
SO I GOT THAT
TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

209
00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:57,035
YOU GOT SUSPENDED, PAL.

210
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,286
HOW DO YOU THINK

211
00:08:58,454 --> 00:09:00,872
YOUR COLLEGE INTERVIEWS
ARE GONNA GO?

212
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,418
WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE
A MODEL STUDENT HERE.

213
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,128
EXCELLENT GRADES,

214
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:10,298
SECRETARY-TREASURER
OF THE A.V. CLUB.

215
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:13,468
UH-OH, WHAT'S THIS?

216
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,220
YOU WERE SUSPENDED?

217
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,473
YES, SIR, FOR SMOKING.

218
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,267
[COUGHS]

219
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:21,518
WELL, WE CAN'T HAVE

220
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:22,926
A LOSER LIKE YOU AT OUR SCHOOL.

221
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,187
I'M SORRY TO SAY,

222
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:28,692
YOU'RE NOT PRINCETON
MATERIAL, DUMB-ASS.

223
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,652
OH, IF ONLY...

224
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:31,987
[COUGHS]

225
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:33,321
I'D LISTENED...

226
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:34,489
[COUGHS]

227
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:35,865
TO MY MOTHER.

228
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:39,327
[COUGHS]

229
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,749
SORRY.

230
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,045
WHAT A LESSON I HAVE LEARNED.

231
00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:50,380
CAN I GO?

232
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:51,548
SURE.

233
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:54,968
RIGHT AFTER YOU SMOKE THIS
ENTIRE PACK OF CIGARETTES.

234
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,972
YAY, DADDY!

235
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,058
OOH, TEAR OFF THE FILTERS.

236
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,145
DAD, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.

237
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:08,398
HAVE I EVER NOT BEEN SERIOUS?

238
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,400
DAD, I'M... I'M TELLING
YOU THE TRUTH.

239
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,694
OKAY, YOU HAVE TO
TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.

240
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:15,697
I DON'T SMOKE.

241
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,159
YOUR WORD, HUH?

242
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:22,662
IT'S ALL A MAN HAS.

243
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:25,749
WELL, NOW THAT'S NICE.

244
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,083
WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP.

245
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:29,794
LIGHT UP!

246
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,012
HEY.

247
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,347
I HEARD ERIC GOT SUSPENDED.

248
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:44,809
YEAH, AND WE'RE ALL REAL PROUD.

249
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,269
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, RED.

250
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:47,797
I THINK DONNA'S
BEEN HAVING TROUBLE

251
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:51,149
BECAUSE ERIC'S A BAD INFLUENCE.

252
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,360
COULD BE.

253
00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:54,611
BUT DID YOU EVER THINK

254
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,259
THE WAY YOU AND MIDGE
ACT LIKE IDIOTS,

255
00:10:56,405 --> 00:11:01,493
THAT MIGHT BE SCREWING HER UP?

256
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:05,246
NOPE. I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S ERIC.

257
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:07,957
WELL, THAT'S
KIND OF STUPID, BOB.

258
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,751
WELL, I GUESS THE TRUTH HURTS.

259
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:13,672
SO DOES A SWIFT KICK IN THE ASS.

260
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:15,465
ALL RIGHT. I'M GOING.

261
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:16,716
BUT A SWIFT KICK IN THE ASS

262
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,524
IS NOT THE SOLUTION
TO EVERYTHING, FORMAN.

263
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:23,556
I GOTTA DISAGREE, BOB.

264
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:27,644
GEE, DAD. THANKS...

265
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,521
KEEP SWEEPING, SMOKER.

266
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,357
WILL DO.

267
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,276
JACKIE, GET IN THE VAN!

268
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:36,736
NO!

269
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:37,987
JACKIE, GET IN THE VAN!

270
00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:39,280
NO!

271
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,448
GET IN THE VAN. NO!

272
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,533
JACKIE... NO!

273
00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:44,327
JACKIE, GET IN THE VAN!

274
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,299
HEY. HI.

275
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:00,051
SO, WHADDAYA WANNA DO?

276
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,511
YOU WANNA WATCH SOME T.V.

277
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,346
OR EAT SOME ICE CREAM

278
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:04,889
OR, I DON'T KNOW,

279
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:08,351
APOLOGIZE TO ME?

280
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:09,686
I'M SORRY.

281
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,855
WELL, YOU SHOULD BE.

282
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:13,231
OKAY. I'M SORRY.

283
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:17,068
I WAS EXPECTING MORE OF A FIGHT.

284
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,903
DID YOU GET IN A LOT OF
TROUBLE FOR THE CIGARETTE?

285
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:20,613
UH, SURPRISINGLY, YES.

286
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:23,116
TURNS OUT,
RED HAS A TEMPER, SO...

287
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:24,534
REALLY?

288
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:27,328
YEAH. WHO KNEW?

289
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:28,705
AND...

290
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,313
UH, YOUR DAD
DOESN'T LIKE ME ANYMORE.

291
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:33,334
THAT'S OKAY, 'CAUSE I DO.

292
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,009
WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?

293
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:45,764
WHO?

294
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,224
MAYBE... MAYBE YOU
SHOULD GET OFF ME

295
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:51,102
SO I COULD, LIKE, RUN AWAY.

296
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:53,062
YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE.

297
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:54,510
OKAY, FINE. I'LL
GET OUT OF HERE.

298
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:55,398
ACTUALLY, I THINK
HE WAS TALKING TO ME.

299
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:56,691
COME ON.

300
00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,443
OKAY. UH, BOY, THIS IS AWKWARD

301
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:02,405
WITH THE DONNA AND
THE YELLING AND THE...

302
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,035
SO THEN MY PASTOR SAID

303
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,661
IT'S OKAY TO GET A "B"
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.

304
00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:09,996
NOBODY'S PERFECT,

305
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,498
EXCEPT...

306
00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:14,083
YOU KNOW WHO.

307
00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:18,004
YOU KNOW, IT'S
JUST SO REFRESHING

308
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,632
TO MEET SOMEONE WHOSE BELIEFS

309
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,926
ARE THE COMPLETE
OPPOSITE OF MINE.

310
00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:24,552
I KNOW. WELL, I'M EPISCOPALIAN,

311
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,179
AND MY BEST FRIEND'S
PRESBYTERIAN,

312
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,223
BUT WE'RE STILL BEST FRIENDS.

313
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:32,602
IT'S HARD WORK,
BUT IT'S WORTH IT.

314
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:35,230
I BET YOU MAKE
REALLY GOOD PUNCH, HUH?

315
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:36,523
OH, MY GOSH.

316
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,024
THE BEST.

317
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,317
YEAH, I MEAN, THESE TEACHERS

318
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,325
THINK THEY DESERVE OUR
RESPECT, BUT THEY DON'T.

319
00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:44,197
I MEAN, WHO ARE THEY TO TEACH
US ABOUT HISTORY AND MATH?

320
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:49,953
HMM. I, TOO, AM FILLED WITH
REBELLIOUS SEXUAL TENSION.

321
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,121
YEAH.

322
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:53,373
I MEAN, IT'S LIKE
MALCOLM X SAID,

323
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:54,833
BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. RIGHT?

324
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,251
YOU LIKE MALCOLM X?

325
00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:57,585
HEY, WHO DOESN'T
LIKE MALCOLM X, HUH?

326
00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:59,003
[LAUGHS]

327
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,338
YOU'VE HEARD OF
MALCOLM X IN PANAMA?

328
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,131
OH, NO. I'M NOT
FROM PANAMA. I'M FROM...

329
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:06,094
HEY, FEZ, COME HERE.

330
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,846
AMERICAN CUSTOM BE DAMNED.

331
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,515
I WANT YOU TO HAVE THE BLONDE.

332
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:12,225
OH, MY GOD.

333
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,019
BLONDES ARE NOTORIOUS WHORES.

334
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:16,771
THANK YOU, HYDE.

335
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:19,107
NOT A PROBLEM.

336
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:23,945
HI.

337
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,531
BYE.

338
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:31,369
COME ON, JACKIE.

339
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:32,537
JUST GET IN THE VAN.

340
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:33,663
NO.

341
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:34,998
JACKIE, JUST GET IN THE VAN.

342
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:36,165
NO.

343
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,292
JACKIE... NO.

344
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:38,668
GET IN THE... NO.

345
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,712
JACKIE... NO!

346
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,046
JACKIE, GET IN THE VAN!

347
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:43,339
NO.

348
00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:44,507
ALL RIGHT.

349
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:46,551
I'M JUST GONNA LEAVE NOW.

350
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:47,927
BYE.

351
00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:50,221
AW, DAMN IT, JACKIE,
GET IN THE VAN!

352
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:53,099
NOPE.

353
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:56,436
SO THEN I HEARD G-11.

354
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:59,689
SO, NATURALLY I
YELLED OUT "BINGO!"

355
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:02,692
BOY, WAS THE PASTOR
CHEESED AT ME.

356
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:05,445
GREAT STORY.

357
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,530
SO YOU ARE A BLONDE?

358
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:12,452
YEAH. NATURAL.

359
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:13,786
YEAH? WOW.

360
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:14,954
I CAN'T BELIEVE

361
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:16,164
YOU LIKE ALL THE SAME
BANDS THAT I LIKE.

362
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,332
YEAH. I JUST LIKE MUSIC

363
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:18,698
THAT'S PASSIONATE AND REBELLIOUS

364
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,127
AND REALLY PISSES OFF MY DAD.

365
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,587
OH, PATTY, DON'T SAY PISS.

366
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,965
OH!

367
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:29,052
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT'D
REALLY PISS OFF YOUR DAD?

368
00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:30,511
YOU AND ME GRAB A 12 PACK

369
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,764
AND STAY OUT ALL NIGHT.

370
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:33,973
OH, I CAN'T.

371
00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:35,221
I HAVE A BIG TEST TOMORROW.

372
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,434
THAT'S FUNNY.

373
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:39,145
LET'S GO.

374
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,439
NO, REALLY. I'VE GOTTA GO STUDY.

375
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:42,941
STUDY?

376
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:46,069
YOU DON'T STUDY.
YOU'VE GOT A TATTOO.

377
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:47,862
LOOK, HYDE, REBELLION
IS COOL AND ALL,

378
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,530
BUT I WANT TO GET
INTO A GOOD COLLEGE

379
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,741
SO I CAN FIGHT THE
SYSTEM FROM THE INSIDE.

380
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,189
IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU, THOUGH.

381
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:54,452
MARY?

382
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,663
OH, NO. GO AHEAD WITHOUT ME.

383
00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,122
SO, FEZ, UM,

384
00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,415
MY PARENTS AREN'T HOME.

385
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:00,708
WANNA COME BACK TO MY HOUSE?

386
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:04,337
I HAVE A HOT TUB.

387
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:10,718
THAT WOULD BE SUPER.

388
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,479
DONNA, IS IT ME, OR...

389
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:25,233
DOES YOUR DAD HATING ME
MAKE ME EVEN MORE SEXY?

390
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:29,112
SURE.

391
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:30,571
YEAH...

392
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:33,950
I THINK HE SENSES
MY BAD-BOYNESS.

393
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,918
YEAH, ERIC, YOU'RE A
PARENT'S WORST NIGHTMARE.

394
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,578
YES.

395
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:40,957
YES, I AM.

396
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:51,300
MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

397
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,428
NOTHING.

398
00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:55,638
AND YOU... YOU JUST...

399
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:58,182
YOU DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO.

400
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:00,893
OH, HEY, MOM, COOL.

401
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,062
GIVE ME A DRAG.

402
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:05,148
OKAY, SEE? NOW LAURIE
IS DOING AS I DO.

403
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:08,484
THAT IS WRONG.

404
00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:11,529
Red: WHAT'S GOING ON OUT HERE?

405
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:15,491
ERIC, ARE YOU SMOKING AGAIN?

406
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:17,660
I THINK HE IS, DADDY.

407
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,287
NO, HE IS NOT.

408
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:20,747
I DON'T SMOKE!

409
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,331
I THINK THIS MIGHT BE MY FAULT.

410
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:23,499
I THINK HE IS...

411
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:27,837
HE'S JUST IMITATING ME
SO HE CAN LOOK COOL.

412
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:30,381
MR. AND MRS. FORMAN,

413
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,884
ERIC GOT CAUGHT HOLDING
MY CIGARETTE AT SCHOOL.

414
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:36,387
I'M THE ONE WHO WAS SMOKING.

415
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,432
OH?

416
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:41,893
WELL, DONNA,

417
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,144
THANK YOU FOR YOUR HONESTY.

418
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,353
WHAT?

419
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:45,801
YOU... HOW COME YOU BELIEVE HER?

420
00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:48,149
I TOLD YOU I DON'T SMOKE.

421
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,650
OKAY. I'M GONNA GO HOME NOW,

422
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:52,570
SO, UH, GOOD NIGHT.

423
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:56,574
ERIC'S NOT IN TROUBLE NOW?

424
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,452
FINE.

425
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,454
WELL, NOW.

426
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,165
I THINK YOU HAVE
SOMETHING TO SAY TO ERIC.

427
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,751
OH, YEAH, UH...

428
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:08,711
NICE JOB ON THE DRIVEWAY.

429
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,004
RED.

430
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:12,381
OKAY. JUST...

431
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,762
OKAY. I'M GONNA SAY I'M SORRY,

432
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:21,099
BUT, YOU KNOW, YOU DO LIE A LOT.

433
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,517
WHAT HAVE I LIED ABOUT?

434
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:24,102
YOU'VE LIED ABOUT THE BEER KEG,

435
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,978
THE DENT IN THE VISTA CRUISER.

436
00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:27,355
YOU LIED WHEN YOU SAID

437
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,357
YOU WEREN'T TAKING
THE CAR OUT OF TOWN.

438
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:30,733
WAIT. YOU KNEW ABOUT THAT?

439
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:31,943
I DO NOW.

440
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,529
OH! HAH!

441
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:35,696
WE'RE EVEN.

442
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:38,741
OH, DAD, YOU'VE
GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.

443
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:41,077
OKAY.

444
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,370
I'M SORRY I MADE YOU

445
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,622
SMOKE ALL THOSE CIGARETTES.

446
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,707
OKAY.

447
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:49,377
YEAH. THAT'S OKAY.

448
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:52,130
ACTUALLY, I KIND OF LIKED THEM.

449
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,132
WATCH IT.

450
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:57,260
NO, NO. I BET THEY'D
GO GREAT WITH BEER.

451
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:01,305
SO DOES A SWIFT KICK IN THE ASS.

452
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,188
JACKIE, GET IN THE VAN!

453
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,065
NO.

454
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,775
ALL RIGHT, FINE. I GIVE UP!

455
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:14,193
I GIVE UP!

456
00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:17,238
YOU CAN KEEP YOUR
STUFFED ANIMALS IN THE VAN.

457
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:20,158
DO YOU REALLY MEAN IT?

458
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:21,576
YEAH.

459
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:22,785
BUT JUST ONE.

460
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:23,953
5.

461
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:25,079
2. 4

462
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,164
3. 4

463
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,082
DEAL, HA!

464
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,458
5.

465
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:32,378
ALL RIGHT, 5.

466
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:33,546
6.

467
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:36,632
FINE!

468
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,805
SO, YOU HAVE ME IN YOUR TUB.

469
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,849
IF YOU ARE TRYING TO
SEND A SEXY MESSAGE,

470
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,894
THEN MESSAGE RECEIVED.

471
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,645
WELL, FEZ...

472
00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:51,453
I KNOW WE MADE OUT
IN MY PARENT'S BEDROOM,

473
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:54,066
AND I KNOW WE FRENCHED
IN THE POOL HOUSE,

474
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:57,570
AND I KNOW THAT MAY SEEM
ROMANTIC TO SOME PEOPLE...

475
00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,781
TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW.

476
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:03,951
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

477
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,623
SEE? THAT I DID NOT KNOW.

478
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,082
FEZ, I REALLY LIKE YOU, BUT...

479
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:11,459
HE'S IN COLLEGE,

480
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,127
AND WE'RE STILL FAITHFUL.

481
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:15,296
I SEE.

482
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,006
YOU KNOW...

483
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:19,050
THERE ARE MANY WAYS
TO REMAIN FAITHFUL

484
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,093
YET STILL HAVE FUN.

485
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:22,261
REALLY?

486
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,430
OH, YES.

487
00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:30,519
AHH...

488
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:33,105
THAT'S MUCH BETTER.

489
00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:41,280
HEY.

490
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:43,866
SO...

491
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,201
I TOLD BOB AND MIDGE

492
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,078
THAT IT WAS MY CIGARETTE.

493
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,746
AND HOW'D THAT GO?

494
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:52,208
REALLY GOOD. THEY GROUNDED ME.

495
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,293
COOL. HA HA.

496
00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:55,753
SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER HERE?

497
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:57,546
SNUCK OUT.

498
00:20:57,714 --> 00:20:58,756
BEING GROUNDED MAKES IT

499
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:02,218
SO MUCH NAUGHTIER.

500
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:05,012
YOU KNOW, DONNA,

501
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:07,473
I'M NOT GONNA
TELL YOU WHAT TO DO,

502
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:08,891
BUT...

503
00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:10,419
FAILING CLASSES
IS NOT THE ONLY WAY

504
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:11,727
TO GET ATTENTION
FROM YOUR PARENTS.

505
00:21:11,895 --> 00:21:13,020
I MEAN...

506
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:14,348
FOR INSTANCE, A LOT OF GIRLS,

507
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:15,606
WHEN THEY'RE HAVING
A BAD TIME AT HOME,

508
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:17,233
JUST...

509
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:20,152
GO SLUTTY.

510
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:24,115
YOU KNOW WHAT, ERIC?

511
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:25,700
YOU'RE RIGHT.

512
00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:27,368
LET'S HAVE SEX RIGHT NOW.

513
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:28,703
REALLY? NO.

514
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:31,372
STOP DOING THAT!

515
00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:41,841
MICHAEL, GET IN THE VAN.

516
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,050
NO.

517
00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:44,343
MICHAEL, GET IN THE VAN.

518
00:21:44,511 --> 00:21:46,053
NO.

519
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:47,013
GET IN THE VAN! NO.

520
00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:48,222
MICHAEL! NO.

521
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:49,432
GET IN THE VAN.

522
00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:51,559
NO!

523
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:54,312
FINE.

524
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:02,945
HEY.

525
00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:04,155
NO, WAIT! JACKIE!

526
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,407
JACKIE, IT'S MY VAN!

527
00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:08,534
JACKIE!!