1 00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:04,837 [MUSIC] 2 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:20,804 ♪ WHO'S THE BIRTHDAY BOY? ♪ 3 00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:29,862 THE, UM, GOOD-LOOKING GUY TO YOUR LEFT? 4 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,947 THAT'S RIGHT. 5 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:35,909 ♪ HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RED ♪ 6 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,871 WOULD THE SPECIAL BIRTHDAY BOY 7 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:44,293 LIKE A SPECIAL BIRTHDAY PRESENT? 8 00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:48,797 OH... IT'S ALREADY UNWRAPPED. 9 00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:53,135 AND, UH, JUST MY SIZE, TOO. 10 00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:04,480 OH, MY. 11 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:07,900 WELL. 12 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:11,904 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. 13 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:16,909 ♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪ 14 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:20,412 ♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪ 15 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:24,083 ♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪ 16 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:27,544 ♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪ 17 00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:31,548 ♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪ 18 00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:35,302 ♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪ 19 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:39,473 ♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪ ♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪ 20 00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:42,226 HELLO, WISCONSIN! 21 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:49,817 [KNOCKING] 22 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:51,401 YEAH? 23 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:52,945 HEY, MAN. HEY, WHAT'S UP? 24 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,780 WELL, IT'S RED'S BIRTHDAY 25 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,366 AND I GOTTA GET HIM A PRESENT, SO... 26 00:01:57,534 --> 00:02:00,244 WHERE DO YOUR PARENTS KEEP THEIR BOOZE? 27 00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:03,539 PRETTY MUCH EVERYWHERE. 28 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,999 COOL. 29 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,836 OKAY 30 00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,088 RED FORMAN: YOU KNOW HIM, YOU LOVE HIM. 31 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:14,216 WHAT DO YOU THINK, BLUEBERRY BRANDY OR PEACH SCHNAPPS? 32 00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,009 HMMM... 33 00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:17,302 DEFINITELY THE SCHNAPPS. 34 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,972 MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY. 35 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,142 THIS ONE'S FOR ME. 36 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:27,146 OH, I SEE YOUR FATHER LEFT ME ANOTHER MESSAGE. 37 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,731 GOD, HE'S AN ASS. 38 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,693 HELLO, MOM? I HAVE COMPANY. 39 00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,236 OH, I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE, STEVEN. 40 00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:36,822 ISN'T BOB AN ASS? 41 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,951 OKAY, UM, MY PARENTS ARE FREAKS 42 00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:43,495 AND I'M SORRY YOU HAD TO SEE THAT. 43 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:48,292 OH, YEAH? 44 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:52,129 DONNA, I DON'T WANT YOU READING THIS. 45 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:54,173 DAD, HYDE'S HERE. 46 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:55,465 WELL, YOU CAN READ IT 47 00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:56,753 'CAUSE YOU'LL APPRECIATE IT. 48 00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:59,219 BUT NOT YOU. 49 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,180 THIS SUCKS. 50 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,547 WELL, YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT IT? 51 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,808 NO. 52 00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:07,102 YOU KNOW, THEY WANT TO DATE OTHER PEOPLE. 53 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,855 YOUR MOM'S DATING? MM-HMM. 54 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:13,233 SO WHERE AM I? DO I HAVE A SHOT? 55 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,403 OH, COULD YOU PLEASE DATE MY MOM? 56 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,331 THAT WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH BETTER, HYDE. 57 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:21,909 HEY, CALL ME DAD. 58 00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:24,328 YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST PART IS? 59 00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:25,954 WATCHING YOUR PARENTS SPLIT UP AND KNOWING 60 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:27,497 THERE'S NOT A DAMN THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. 61 00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:28,832 EXACTLY. 62 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,250 AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? 63 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:31,543 MY MOM MOVED OUT OF THEIR BEDROOM, 64 00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:32,961 INTO THE GUEST ROOM. 65 00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:35,088 YEAH, IT SUCKED WHEN MY DAD SPLIT. 66 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:36,673 BUT I CAN HONESTLY SAY 67 00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,133 THAT MY PARENTS' DIVORCE 68 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:41,511 MADE ME THE MAN I AM TODAY. 69 00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,096 OH, MAN, AM I GOING TO GO CRAZY 70 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:47,559 AND THINK THE GOVERNMENT'S OUT TO GET ME, TOO? 71 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:51,104 THE GOVERNMENT IS OUT TO GET YOU. 72 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,066 OKAY, NOW I WANT YOUR FATHER TO ENJOY THIS BIRTHDAY, 73 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:58,654 SO WE'RE ALL GOING TO TRY OUR BEST TO MAKE IT GOOD. 74 00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:01,031 EXCEPT FOR LAURIE, WHO'S GOING TO STUMBLE IN 75 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:03,909 SMELLING LIKE CIGARETTES AND BEER. 76 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,827 HEY, AT LEAST I'M HERE. 77 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,287 WELL, YOU BETTER BE HERE WITH A PRESENT. 78 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:10,040 I GAVE YOU $20 YESTERDAY. 79 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,750 GOD, RELAX. 80 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,293 OH, YOU CAN IT, LAURIE. 81 00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:14,920 CAN IT, LAURIE. CAN IT, ERIC. 82 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,338 YEAH, CAN IT, ERIC. 83 00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:17,714 I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO CAN IT. CAN IT. 84 00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,174 WHY DON'T YOU BOTH CAN IT? 85 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,842 CAN IT! CAN IT! CAN IT! 86 00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:23,095 OH, LOOK, IT'S THE BIRTHDAY BOY. 87 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,638 DADDY! 88 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,014 COME ON IN, BIRTHDAY BOY. 89 00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:29,434 OPEN YOUR PRESENTS. 90 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:33,313 I WONDER WHAT'S IN THE BIG ONE? 91 00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:37,109 IS IT A... CORVETTE? 92 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:48,453 NO, IT'S, UH, 2x4s. 93 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:54,042 FOR THE ROOF. 94 00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,086 OH, YEAH. 95 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:58,922 THANKS FOR REMINDING ME. 96 00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:03,051 HERE YOU GO, RED. THIS WILL HELP YOU FORGET. 97 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,887 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAN. 98 00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:07,222 DADDY! 99 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,724 THIS IS FOR YOU. 100 00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:12,561 WELL. LET'S SEE HERE. 101 00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:17,441 WELL! $7. 102 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,193 ISN'T THAT SOMETHING. 103 00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:21,820 THANKS, SWEETIE. 104 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,448 [LAUGHING HUMORLESSLY] 105 00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:27,951 IF I DON'T HAVE $13 ON MY DRESSER BY TONIGHT, 106 00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,619 THEN SO HELP ME GOD... 107 00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:31,079 THE CARD COST 50 CENTS. 108 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:33,790 FINE, $12.50 AND I WANT A RECEIPT. 109 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,667 WHATEVER. 110 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,003 OKAY, BOYS, THANK YOU FOR THE... THE WOOD 111 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:41,923 AND... AND THE BOOZE. 112 00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,925 OKAY, NOW... NOW, 113 00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:46,386 ONE MORE PRESENT. 114 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:49,264 OOH. 115 00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:51,975 UNDERWEAR! 116 00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:54,311 OH, DAMN IT. 117 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,939 WELL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 118 00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:01,943 SO, IS THE "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" FUN OVER YET? 119 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:05,197 NO. 120 00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:08,909 BOB AND MIDGE WANT TO TAKE US OUT TO DINNER TONIGHT. 121 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,620 BOB AND MIDGE! 122 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,164 KITTY, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. 123 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:15,665 I KNOW, BUT THEY LIKE YOU, 124 00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:17,376 AND THEY WANT YOU TO HAVE FUN ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, 125 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:18,835 LIKE I DO. 126 00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:22,798 IF THEY REALLY LIKED ME, THEY'D LEAVE ME ALONE. 127 00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:29,930 MAN, LAST NIGHT WE COULD HEAR THE PINCIOTTIS FIGHTING 128 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,473 ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE DRIVEWAY. 129 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:32,849 IT WAS HORRIBLE. 130 00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:34,476 IT WAS ALL, 131 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,604 [DEEP VOICE] YOU'RE THE DEVIL, MIDGE! 132 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:41,024 [BREATHY VOICE] OH, BOB, SHUT UP. 133 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:47,155 [BREATHY VOICE] OH, BOB, SHUT UP! 134 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,574 THAT'S CLASSIC. 135 00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:50,909 MAN, IF YOU GET ANY DUMBER 136 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:54,663 YOU'RE GONNA NEED A HELMET. 137 00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,124 WHAT A BUMMER FOR DONNA, HUH? 138 00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,042 I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE SLEEPING IN SEPARATE BEDROOMS. 139 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,336 YEAH, I KNOW. 140 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:02,587 WAIT, I DON'T KNOW. 141 00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:03,922 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 142 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,298 WELL, HYDE KNOWS SOMETHING ABOUT DONNA 143 00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:07,175 THAT ERIC DOES NOT KNOW. 144 00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:08,703 THIS IS AN INTERESTING DEVELOPMENT. 145 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:11,972 LET'S WATCH. 146 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,266 MIDGE IS SLEEPING IN THE GUEST BEDROOM, MAN. 147 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,725 HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? 148 00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,310 DID... DID DONNA TELL YOU THAT? 149 00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:18,854 LOOK, FORMAN, IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. 150 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:20,381 I GUESS SHE'S JUST TELLING ME STUFF 151 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:23,358 THAT SHE'S NOT TELLING YOU. 152 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,737 SEE, THIS IS WHY COMMUNICATION IS SO IMPORTANT. 153 00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:29,197 NOW, MICHAEL AND I... 154 00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,491 UH, EXCUSE ME, WE WERE TALKING ABOUT DONNA AND ME AND HOW... 155 00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:34,077 OH, HUSH. NO ONE CARES. 156 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,830 NOW, MICHAEL NEVER KEEPS SECRETS FROM ME. 157 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,665 DO YOU, SWEETIE? 158 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,417 HUH? 159 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:42,711 OH, NO, NO. NEVER. 160 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,296 MICHAEL, YOU HESITATED. 161 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,797 WHY DID YOU HESITATE? 162 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,340 NO, I DIDN'T HESITATE. 163 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:48,550 DID I, HYDE. 164 00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,927 YEP. 165 00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:52,262 FEZ? 166 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:53,763 OH, YES. IF YOU REALLY LOVED HER, 167 00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:56,558 YOU WOULD NOT HAVE HESITATED. 168 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:57,767 AH! 169 00:07:57,935 --> 00:07:58,935 CONVERSATION, MICHAEL. 170 00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,312 THE VAN, NOW. NO! 171 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,147 NO, I DIDN'T HESITATE! 172 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,691 YOU GUYS ARE DEAD! 173 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,029 WELL, SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, BIRTHDAY BOY? 174 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,573 'CAUSE I THINK IT'S GONNA BE FUN. 175 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:15,869 WELL, YOU KNOW, GOOD FOOD, OLD FRIENDS. 176 00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,996 THIS MIGHT NOT BE TOO BAD, KITTY. 177 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,124 Bob: HEY, HEY, THE GANG'S ALL HERE! 178 00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:23,877 THIS IS MY DATE CAROL. 179 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:27,005 AND THIS IS MY DATE TED. 180 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:31,426 YOU BROUGHT DATES? 181 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,970 WE SURE DID. 182 00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:37,265 [LAUGHING] 183 00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:40,477 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 184 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,944 YEAH, CAROL HERE IS JUST TERRIFIC. 185 00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:50,946 SHE LOVES HORSES. 186 00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:54,616 I LOVE HORSES! 187 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:58,036 AND TED'S A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR. 188 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:04,042 WELL, YOU HAVE JUST DONE A LOVELY JOB WITH THESE TWO. 189 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,921 HEY, THANKS. HOO-HAH. 190 00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,632 RIGHT. 191 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,134 SO YOU TWO ARE GOING TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE 192 00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:16,304 BY DATING STRANGERS. 193 00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:17,597 GREAT. 194 00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:19,099 WHEN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT, RED, 195 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,559 IT SOUNDS STUPID. 196 00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:21,935 OKAY, MIDGE. 197 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,729 SAY IT SO IT DOESN'T SOUND STUPID. 198 00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,064 OKAY, HERE. 199 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,816 NOW MAYBE THIS CHEESE TOAST 200 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,694 WILL MAKE YOUR BIRTHDAY HAPPY. 201 00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:34,573 WELL, KITTY, I THINK I'VE LOST MY APPETITE. 202 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,911 GOD, THAT IS A GREAT-LOOKIN' T-BONE. 203 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,997 IS THERE BUTTER ON THIS? 204 00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:44,583 HOO-HAH. 205 00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:46,960 RIGHT. 206 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,421 NOW, I'M GONNA EAT THIS STEAK, 207 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,424 BUT FIRST I'M GONNA MAKE A BIRTHDAY WISH. 208 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,009 HERE IT IS. 209 00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:55,677 I WISH... 210 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:59,764 EVERYONE WOULD SHUT UP. 211 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,278 SOMETHING WRONG? 212 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,280 NO. 213 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,866 SO, IS THERE ANYTHING ON YOUR MIND? 214 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,514 SOMETHING YOU MIGHT WANT TO, YOU KNOW, 215 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,995 TALK TO YOUR B... NO. 216 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,683 [THINKING] DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. 217 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:24,831 SHE TALKED TO HYDE, 218 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:26,041 GET HER TO TALK TO YOU. 219 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,334 GET HER... ON, MY GOD, 220 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:28,781 THAT CAN'T BE HER TONGUE, CAN IT? 221 00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:29,878 HOW IS SHE DOING THAT? 222 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,005 SO... SOFT, SO... 223 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:34,924 WAIT! FOCUS! TALK! 224 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:38,595 SO, UH, NOTHING ON YOUR MIND. 225 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:41,640 NOTHING... 226 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:44,351 THAT'S A PRETTY LITTLE SHIRT. 227 00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:47,979 HOLY GOD, SHE'S SUCKING MY TONGUE. 228 00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,273 SHE IS SUCKING MY TONGUE. 229 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,275 OH MY GOD, EVEN HER SPIT IS SWEET. 230 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,444 IT'S LIKE LIQUID JOLLY RANCHERS. 231 00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:55,945 THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. 232 00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:57,322 NO THERE'S NOT, I'M 17. 233 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,990 WAIT! 234 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,617 SO, NOTHING... 235 00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:03,578 UH, TO CONFIDE IN ME? 236 00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:07,707 ERIC. YOUR BOYFRIEND. 237 00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,168 WELL, OKAY, HERE'S SOMETHING. 238 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:13,338 I LOVE MAKING OUT WITH YOU. 239 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,966 THERE. SO WE TALKED. 240 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:19,678 THAT WAS NICE. 241 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,723 HORSES ARE BEAUTIFUL. 242 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,141 AND THEY'RE VERY SMART. 243 00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:28,978 THEY CAN COUNT, YOU KNOW. 244 00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:30,438 OH, HONEY, HONEY, 245 00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:34,359 YOU... YOU JUST... YOU JUST GOTTA SHUT UP. 246 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,611 SPEAKING OF, HAS ANYONE READ EQUUS? 247 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:37,987 I GAVE A COPY TO MIDGE, 248 00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:39,447 BUT... NO OFFENSE, SWEETIE... 249 00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:42,575 IT MAY BE A LITTLE TOO DEEP FOR HER. 250 00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:44,077 WAIT A MINUTE. 251 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,704 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO OFFENSE? 252 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,997 WELL, I MEAN, DON'T BE OFFENDED. 253 00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:50,959 OH. 254 00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,336 LISTEN, YOU INSULT MY WIFE ONE MORE TIME, 255 00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:56,464 YOU'RE GONNA BE WEARING YOUR STEAK AS A HAT. 256 00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:58,341 HEY, I... I'M SORRY. 257 00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:01,219 OH, BOB, THAT WAS SO SWEET. 258 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,267 LIKE IN HIGH SCHOOL, WHEN YOU USED TO HIT PEOPLE 259 00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:05,473 JUST FOR LOOKING AT ME. 260 00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:06,808 REMEMBER? 261 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,017 OF COURSE I REMEMBER. 262 00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:09,185 I STILL HAVE THE SCAR 263 00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:11,354 FROM JOE ABBRUZZI'S DENTAL PLATE. 264 00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:14,607 YOU BIG BEAR. 265 00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:17,402 RROOWWRR. 266 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:25,034 I, UH, LEFT MY WALLET IN THE CAR, MIDGE. 267 00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:31,207 I LEFT MY... SEX WITH BOB IN THE CAR. 268 00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,713 CHECK, PLEASE! 269 00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,632 AH. 270 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,968 THERE YOU GO, THAT'S FOR YOU. 271 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,346 COME ON, KITTY. 272 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,339 DONNA WOULDN'T EVEN TALK TO ME. 273 00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:51,269 SHE JUST KEPT STICKING HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT. 274 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:54,147 OH, BOO-HOO, FORMAN. 275 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,940 YOU GET TO FOOL AROUND WITH A TOTALLY HOT CHICK 276 00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,818 AND YOU NEVER HAVE TO TALK ABOUT HER FEELINGS? 277 00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:02,739 YOU POOR, FRENCH-KISSING BASTARD. 278 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:03,907 YEAH, HYDE'S RIGHT. 279 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:05,784 ONE TIME I ASKED JACKIE WHAT WAS WRONG, 280 00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:10,330 AND SHE DIDN'T SHUT UP FOR, LIKE, 3 STRAIGHT DAYS. 281 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:12,165 YOU KNOW, KELSO, 282 00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:13,416 SOMETIMES YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE 283 00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,001 UNTIL IT IS GONE. 284 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,289 AND THEN SOMEONE ELSE HAS IT 285 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:17,629 AND IT IS NOT YOU. 286 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:21,424 AND THEN THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS REALLY HAPPY. 287 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:22,884 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 288 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,260 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT? 289 00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:26,596 THAT'S IT. GET THE HELMET. 290 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,265 KELSO, PUT THIS ON. 291 00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,643 SHUT UP. I'M NOT PUTTING THE HELMET ON. 292 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,394 NOW WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 293 00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,002 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT 294 00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:38,483 IF YOU PUT THE HELMET ON. 295 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,903 FINE. 296 00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:47,575 IF YOU DON'T TAKE CARE OF JACKIE, 297 00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:49,786 YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE HER. 298 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:53,081 THAT'S JUST STUPID. 299 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,457 LOOK, HYDE, ALL I KNOW 300 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,185 IS THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO MY GIRLFRIEND, 301 00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:57,961 AND I DON'T LIKE IT. 302 00:13:58,128 --> 00:13:59,754 HEY, MAN, I WAS FRIENDS WITH DONNA 303 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,642 BEFORE YOU EVER BECAME HER LITTLE BOYFRIEND. 304 00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:03,508 HYDE, YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF. 305 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,468 WHY DON'T YOU THINK, FORMAN? 306 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:06,845 YOU GET TO MAKE OUT 307 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,429 WITH ONE OF THE HOTTEST CHICKS IN WISCONSIN, 308 00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:09,889 WHILE I'M BEING ALL SYMPATHETIC 309 00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,432 AND RELATING MY CRAPPY LIFE TO HER, 310 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,434 AND I'M PISSING YOU OFF? 311 00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:14,978 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE FRIEND 312 00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:18,439 AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAKE OUT GUY. 313 00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:19,858 NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, 314 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,610 YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF! 315 00:14:27,324 --> 00:14:29,993 WHAT THE HELL KIND OF A WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN? 316 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,661 HEY, LET'S DATE OTHER PEOPLE! 317 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,288 HEY, LET'S DATE OTHER PEOPLE 318 00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:36,165 "BUT DITCH 'EM AND DO IT IN A CAR!" 319 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:37,792 THAT'S ENLIGHTENED? 320 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,211 IN MY DAY, WE CALLED THEM DEGENERATES, 321 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,589 AND WE STONED THEM. 322 00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:46,509 WITH BIG ROCKS. 323 00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:48,344 OH, YOU DID NOT. 324 00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:51,764 WELL, WE SHOULD HAVE. 325 00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:53,725 WELL, YOU KNOW... 326 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:57,896 YOUR BIRTHDAY'S NOT OVER FOR ANOTHER 2 HOURS. 327 00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:01,357 OH, KITTY. 328 00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:04,861 WE HAVE NO CEILING ON OUR BEDROOM. 329 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:07,822 WHAT IF A PLANE FLEW OVER? 330 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:12,160 OKAY. WELL, THE KIDS ARE OUT. 331 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:16,414 THERE'S A BIG COMFY COUCH IN THE LIVING ROOM. 332 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:24,589 YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YOU? 333 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,591 WHAT? 334 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,344 LOTS OF STUFF. 335 00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:32,180 COME ON. 336 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:35,350 I'LL RACE YOU. 337 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,646 HEY, RED, MRS. FORMAN. 338 00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:41,022 HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT? 339 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,107 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY LIVING ROOM? 340 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,943 WATCHING STAR TREK. 341 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,111 IN COLOR. 342 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:50,198 SEE, THAT GUY IS ONE SIDE BLACK AND ONE SIDE WHITE. 343 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:54,577 AND THE OTHER GUY IS ONE SIDE WHITE AND ONE SIDE BLACK. 344 00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:57,705 IN COLOR! 345 00:15:57,873 --> 00:16:02,418 THIS HOUSE IS ALWAYS LITTERED WITH KIDS. 346 00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:05,463 IT'S LIKE WE'RE MORMONS. 347 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:09,467 OKAY, COME ON, FOLLOW ME, SAILOR. 348 00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:11,719 RED NEEDS TO CONTROL HIS ANGER. 349 00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:15,348 I HEARD THAT! 350 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,019 OH, I KNOW! 351 00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,396 LET'S GO TO THE BASEMENT. 352 00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:23,231 OH, KITTY. 353 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:26,609 I JUST WANT THIS DAY TO BE OVER. 354 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,903 NO. 355 00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,447 THIS DAY IS NOT OVER. 356 00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:33,950 I WANTED YOU TO HAVE A NICE BIRTHDAY. 357 00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:36,198 YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES BIRTHDAYS ARE NOT JUST ABOUT YOU. 358 00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,079 THEY ARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU 359 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,456 WHO WANT YOU TO HAVE A NICE BIRTHDAY. 360 00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:42,667 SO, IT'S ABOUT ME. 361 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,252 NOW GET DOWNSTAIRS 362 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:47,755 AND GET THOSE PANTS OFF, MISTER! 363 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,887 DONNA. 364 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,264 I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 365 00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:57,640 I... I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS A LOT, 366 00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,642 AND, UH... 367 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:05,106 I'M NOT MAD ANYMORE. 368 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,858 OKAY. MAD ABOUT WHAT? 369 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,444 OH, WELL, UH, HYDE TOLD ME THAT YOU TWO TALKED 370 00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:10,903 ABOUT YOUR HOME SITUATION... 371 00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,363 YOU GUYS TALKED ABOUT ME? 372 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,948 YEAH... 373 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,451 WELL, SEE, BUT KELSO WAS WEARING A HELMET, 374 00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:19,078 SO HE ONLY HEARD, LIKE, HALF OF IT. 375 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:21,706 AND I'M NOT REALLY SURE ABOUT FEZ'S GRASP OF ENGLISH. 376 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,208 I MEAN, HE NODS A LOT, BUT... 377 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,336 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS TALKED ABOUT ME. 378 00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:30,673 WELL, TO BE HONEST, 379 00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:33,009 IT WAS A LOT OF HYDE WITH THE, UH, 380 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,511 DONNA AND THE PARENTS AND THE SEPARATE BEDROOMS. 381 00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:38,431 AND I'M ALL LIKE, WHOA, HOLD UP THERE, HYDE. 382 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,359 I DON'T THINK SHE'D LIKE YOU TALKING ABOUT... 383 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:41,768 GOD! 384 00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:44,103 NO, I... JUST HEAR ME OUT. 385 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:47,857 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU TALKED TO HYDE, 386 00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,777 BUT... 387 00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:56,157 I FORGIVE YOU. 388 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,284 YOU FORGIVE ME? 389 00:17:58,452 --> 00:17:59,702 NO, WHAT I'M SAYING... 390 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,190 YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT ANYMORE. 391 00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:04,415 BECAUSE I'M HERE FOR YOU. 392 00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,167 OKAY, THANKS LOADS, ERIC, 393 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,711 BUT YOU CAN'T HELP ME WITH THIS. 394 00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:11,297 YOUR FAMILY IS... A FAMILY. 395 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,257 DONNA, TO BE FAIR, YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A CHANCE. 396 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,635 YOU NEVER CAME TO ME WITH THIS. 397 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:17,043 ALL RIGHT, FINE. YOU KNOW WHAT? 398 00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:18,387 YOU WANT TO BE PART OF THIS WHOLE THING? 399 00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:19,639 YOU DO? FINE. 400 00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:22,975 MY PARENTS, THEY'RE ON A FREAKIN' DATE RIGHT NOW. 401 00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:26,646 WELL, YOU KNOW, THAT'S NICE. 402 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,564 WITH OTHER PEOPLE. 403 00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:30,024 YOU KNOW, THE MORE THE MERRIER. 404 00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,026 IT TAKES SOME OF THE PRESSURE OFF. 405 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,112 THEY'RE EACH DATING THE OTHER PEOPLE. 406 00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:35,863 BUT THEY'RE MARRIED. 407 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:38,908 OH, GOD! 408 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,035 SEE? I MEAN... 409 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:42,787 I DON'T KNOW. 410 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,497 HEY, DONNA, ERIC, GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 411 00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:46,249 GREAT NEWS. 412 00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:48,209 YOUR FATHER AND I HAD SEX. 413 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:51,629 OH, MY GOD. 414 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,422 IN THE CAR. 415 00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:54,966 OH, MY GOD! 416 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,592 WELL, THAT'S... SUPER! 417 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,553 HEY, ISN'T THAT... IS THAT SUPER, DONNA? 418 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,179 SO, 419 00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:01,681 ARE YOU GUYS, LIKE, BACK TOGETHER? 420 00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,015 OH, NO. 421 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:06,644 YEAH, WHY RUIN A GOOD THING? 422 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:15,570 OKAY, SO... 423 00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:20,491 WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON THAT? 424 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:24,996 I GOT NOTHING. 425 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:28,791 WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 426 00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:32,879 I DON'T KNOW. 427 00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:39,093 SO, HEY, WHO'S YOUR STUPID BOYFRIEND? 428 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:43,264 UHH, YOU ARE. 429 00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:46,767 HEY, AT LEAST I'M TRYING TO GET SMARTER, RIGHT? 430 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,981 THANK YOU. 431 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,403 SAY IT. 432 00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:59,655 I DO NOT KEEP SECRETS FROM YOU. 433 00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,115 AGAIN. 434 00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,242 I DO NOT KEEP SECRETS FROM YOU. 435 00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:04,535 AGAIN. 436 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:05,786 I DO NOT KEEP... 437 00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:08,664 AllYY! SHUT UP! 438 00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:10,583 I AM GOING INSANE. 439 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,919 KELSO, IF YOU WANT TO POSSESS A WOMAN, 440 00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:16,088 THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. 441 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:22,595 I, AS A MORTAL, AM NOT WORTHY OF YOUR LOVE. 442 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:25,848 YOU ARE A GODDESS AND I WORSHIP YOU. 443 00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:28,684 AND I DEDICATE EVERY MOMENT OF MY WAKING LIFE 444 00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:31,646 TO YOUR JOY. 445 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:37,985 OKAY, WHAT HE SAID. 446 00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:41,405 OH, MICHAEL. 447 00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:59,465 I DON'T KNOW ANY MORMONS THAT DO THAT. 448 00:21:00,550 --> 00:21:03,552 NOT WITHOUT A PERMIT, ANYWAY. 449 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:09,433 YOU KNOW, KITTY, 450 00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:11,060 THIS ENDED UP BEING A PRETTY GOOD BIRTHDAY 451 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,646 AFTER ALL. OH, YEA! 452 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:17,108 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. THANKS. 453 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:18,734 [CRACKLING] 454 00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:20,486 WHAT IS THIS? 455 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,781 AHH, CORN CHIPS. 456 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:26,575 BIRTHDAY BOY. 457 00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:31,205 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WARNER PRODUCTIONS AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 458 00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:39,297 SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT HERE, MAN. 459 00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:40,744 I'M GETTING A REALLY WEIRD VIBE, 460 00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:43,759 LIKE BEFORE A TORNADO. 461 00:21:43,927 --> 00:21:45,720 OR DRACULA. 462 00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:50,349 SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED HERE. 463 00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:52,476 SOMETHING HORRIBLE. 464 00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:56,105 MICHAEL... MICHAEL, I'M FRIGHTENED. 465 00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:57,690 WELL, WHATEVER IT WAS 466 00:21:57,858 --> 00:22:03,070 MADE THE COUCH NICE AND WARM. 467 00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:06,073 SOMEONE'S BEEN EATING MY CHIPS.