1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,044 [MUSIC] 2 00:00:04,212 --> 00:00:05,546 WELL, BOYS, THERE SHE IS... 3 00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:07,589 OUR BRAND-NEW WATER HEATER. 4 00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:09,133 AIN'T SHE A BEAUTY? 5 00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:12,845 YEP. THIS IS THE BEST WATER HEATER EVER. 6 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,348 GOD BLESS US EVERY ONE. 7 00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:20,686 YOU KNOW WHY TINY TIM WALKED WITH A CRUTCH? 8 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:24,440 'CAUSE HE HAD A SMART MOUTH? 9 00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:27,693 THAT'S RIGHT. 10 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,279 SO, GUYS, TOMORROW IS THE ANNIVERSARY 11 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,281 OF DONNA'S AND MY FIRST KISS. 12 00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:34,283 AND JUST FOR THAT, I'M GONNA GIVE HER 13 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:36,452 SOMETHING REALLY SPECIAL. 14 00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,037 YOU'VE BEEN TRYING TO GIVE HER THAT FOR A YEAR, 15 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:42,124 AND SO FAR... 16 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:45,544 NOT THAT. SOMETHING NICE. 17 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,171 FORMAN, MAN, TRUST ME, OKAY? 18 00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:49,089 JUST PICK HER SOME FLOWERS. 19 00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:50,737 THE FACT THAT YOU EVEN REMEMBERED WILL 20 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,761 GUARANTEE YOU SOME ACTION. 21 00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:56,889 AND WHO DOESN'T LOVE THE ACTION, HUH? 22 00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,436 CHECK OUT THIS NECKLACE. 23 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:03,937 WOW, MAN, IS THAT REAL GOLD? 24 00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:06,356 NO. 25 00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:07,691 REAL DIAMONDS? 26 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,777 NO. 27 00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:11,904 BUT IT COSTS 60 BUCKS. 28 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,115 NICE! NICE! 29 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:16,283 YEAH, THANKS. 30 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:17,743 SO, IF YOU'LL ALL PLEASE AVERT YOUR EYES, 31 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,703 I HAVE TO, UH, GET MY SECRET STASH OF CASH. 32 00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:24,124 WHAT, YOU MEAN YOUR CANDYLAND STASH? 33 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:25,667 MY CAN... 34 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,169 I DON'T KEEP MY MONEY IN THE... 35 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:28,712 CANDYLAND BOX. 36 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,214 YOU MOVED YOUR MONEY FROM THE CANDYLAND BOX? 37 00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:33,425 OH, SHUT UP AND TURN AROUND! 38 00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:40,182 OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS... 39 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,142 SOMEONE STOLE ALL MY MONEY. 40 00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:45,854 FROM CANDYLAND? 41 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:54,530 HOW COULD SUCH A SAD THING HAPPEN IN SUCH A HAPPY PLACE? 42 00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:58,408 ♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪ 43 00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:01,954 ♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪ 44 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:05,707 ♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪ 45 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:09,128 ♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪ 46 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:12,965 ♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪ 47 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,844 ♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪ 48 00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:21,140 ♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪ ♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪ 49 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,642 HELLO, WISCONSIN! 50 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,212 TV: AND THE WINNER, AND STILL CHAMPION, 51 00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:34,361 MUHAMMAD ALI. 52 00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:35,612 HEH HEH. 53 00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:36,780 ALL RIGHT, FEZ, YOU LOSE. 54 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,699 GIVE ME 5 BUCKS. 55 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,659 HEY. WHAT'S GOIN' ON? 56 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,745 I JUST LOST 5 BUCKS ON THE MUHAMMAD ALI FIGHT. 57 00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:48,876 FEZ, THAT'S A RERUN. THAT FIGHT HAPPENED A WEEK AGO. 58 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,674 SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 59 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,468 WE'RE PLAYING CANDYLAND. 60 00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:02,556 AND I'M STUCK IN THE MARSHMALLOW MOUNTAIN AGAIN. 61 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:04,725 WHERE'S ERIC? 62 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,101 I DON'T KNOW. HE'S SEARCHING THE HOUSE. 63 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,477 HE CAN'T FIND HIS MONEY STASH. 64 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:10,314 IT'S NOT IN THE CANDYLAND BOX? 65 00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:13,150 OH, MY GOD. YOU GUYS... 66 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:16,862 GUESS WHO'S GONNA BE IN THE MISS DAIRY PRINCESS PAGEANT. 67 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:20,115 OH, I KNOW. A COW? 68 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,454 NO. 69 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,372 ME! 70 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:28,749 A BEAUTY PAGEANT? 71 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,209 YEAH! I MEAN, LOOK, DONNA, 72 00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:31,585 IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT WE KNOW 73 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,033 I'M PRETTIER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. 74 00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:35,881 I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW! 75 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,424 AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO DO IT 76 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:40,260 THAN GO ON STAGE AND PARADE AROUND LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT. 77 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,638 I KNOW! I KNOW! 78 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,140 AND GET THIS... 79 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:49,937 MICHAEL IS GONNA BE MY PAGEANT BOY! 80 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,439 HA HA HA HA! 81 00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:57,778 PAGEANT BOY. 82 00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:00,113 JACKIE, I AM NOT A PAGEANT BOY. 83 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:03,200 I'M A BEAUTY COACH. 84 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:06,161 YEAH, THAT'S A LOT BETTER, KELSO. 85 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,956 SO, DONNA, YOU WANT TO GO SEE MY GOWN? 86 00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:11,250 LET'S GO. 87 00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:13,794 OH, I WILL HELP. 88 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,630 I HAVE A WAY WITH WOMAN'S HAIR. 89 00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:23,512 LET'S GO, GIRLS. 90 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,015 MAN, A BEAUTY COACH? 91 00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:28,600 WHAT'S GOIN' ON WITH YOU? 92 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:29,977 WHEN JACKIE WINS THIS PAGEANT, 93 00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:32,187 I AM GONNA BE THE GUY WITH THE HOTTEST CHICK 94 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:35,315 OF ALL OF THE HOT CHICKS. 95 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,235 YEAH, KELSO, THAT... THAT'S GENIUS. 96 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:41,071 YEAH. JUST PICTURE IT. 97 00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:46,243 AND... THIS YEAR'S MISS DAIRY PRINCESS IS... 98 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:49,413 KELSO'S GIRLFRIEND! 99 00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,039 YES! 100 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,083 HOO HOO HOO! 101 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,793 OH, THANK YOU! 102 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,086 THANK YOU. 103 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:57,546 THANK YOU, BOB EUBANKS. 104 00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:58,964 MR. KELSO, NOW THAT YOU'VE BEEN CROWNED, 105 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,424 WHAT'S GOING TO BE YOUR FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS? 106 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:02,134 WELL, AS MR. DAIRY PRINCESS, 107 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,677 I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE MILK PRODUCTS 108 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:06,221 TO ALL OF THOSE IN NEED. 109 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:07,597 AND THEN SOMEDAY, 110 00:05:07,765 --> 00:05:08,974 I WOULD LIKE TO RULE 111 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:12,769 AN ENTIRE HOT CHICK DAIRY KINGDOM! 112 00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:16,023 HO HO HO HO HO... 113 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:17,566 SETTLE DOWN, GIRLS. 114 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:20,986 THERE'S PLENTY OF ME TO GO AROUND HERE. 115 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,702 OOH... 116 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:29,953 WELL... 117 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,581 OKAY, I GOTTA GO WIN THIS THING. 118 00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,127 ALL RIGHT, WHERE'S MY MONEY? 119 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,545 WHAT MONEY? 120 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:42,883 THE MONEY YOU STOLE FROM MY... 121 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,761 SPECIAL PLACE. 122 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,180 [LAUGHING] 123 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,868 YOU MEAN... THE PATHETIC BUNDLE OF ONES 124 00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:52,726 YOU KEEP IN YOUR LITTLE CANDYLAND GAME? 125 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:55,812 SO YOU ADMIT YOU KNEW WHERE IT WAS. 126 00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:57,647 OKAY, ERIC, FIRST OF ALL, 127 00:05:57,815 --> 00:05:59,066 YOU WERE A MISTAKE. 128 00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:03,737 ASK MOM AND DAD. 129 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,739 AND SECOND, IF I DID STEAL IT, 130 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:09,868 I'D TELL YOU TO YOUR FACE, AND THEN I'D STEAL IT MORE. 131 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,276 YEAH, THAT DOES SOUND LIKE YOU. 132 00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:14,081 DAMN! WHO TOOK MY MONEY? 133 00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:16,083 ISN'T IT OBVIOUS WHO TOOK IT? 134 00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,542 I MEAN, THINK ABOUT IT. 135 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,920 NO MORALS. LACK OF CHARACTER. 136 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,130 BAD REPUTATION. 137 00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:25,342 SO YOU DID TAKE IT. 138 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,135 NO, YOU IDIOT. HYDE. 139 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:28,762 HE'S STAYING DOWN IN THE BASEMENT, 140 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:32,766 HE'S POOR, HE STEALS STUFF. 141 00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,267 NO. 142 00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:35,936 NO. HYDE WOULDN'T DO THAT TO ME. 143 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,939 I'M SURE YOU'RE RIGHT, ERIC. HE'S A REAL GOOD FRIEND. 144 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,441 SO... 145 00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:44,027 KELSO TELLS ME HYDE TRIED TO STEAL DONNA LAST YEAR. 146 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,529 IS THAT TRUE? 147 00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:48,407 NO. 148 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:49,866 I MEAN... WELL... 149 00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,953 HE TRIED, BUT HE DIDN'T SUCCEED. 150 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,581 HMM... THAT'S NOT MUCH BETTER, IS IT, ERIC? 151 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:02,629 WAS I REALLY A MISTAKE? 152 00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:05,715 THEY SUED THE CONDOM COMPANY. 153 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,223 SO... 154 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,392 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? 155 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,893 JACKIE, IF YOU WANT TO WIN, 156 00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:19,855 THAT DRESS HAS TO BE A LOT SHORTER. 157 00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:23,608 GIVE TO FEZ. 158 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:27,237 OKAY, JACKIE, LET'S GET TO WORK. 159 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:29,322 WELL, MICHAEL, WE'VE ALREADY DONE A LOT. 160 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,949 I MEAN, I DECIDED ON THIS DRESS, 161 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,993 AND FEZ IS GONNA DO MY HAIR. 162 00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,744 ALL RIGHT. BUT I'M GONNA TELL YOU SOMETHING, JACKIE. 163 00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:39,791 I'VE SEEN PICTURES OF HIS PEOPLE, AND THEY AREN'T PRETTY. 164 00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:46,006 BITE ME, PAGEANT BOY. 165 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:49,593 COACH. 166 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,178 ALL RIGHT, FINE. 167 00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,054 I GUESS WE COULD USE THE HELP. 168 00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:55,223 FEZ, YOU CAN HANDLE JACKIE'S BODY, 169 00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:58,518 AND I'LL TAKE CARE OF HER MIND. 170 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,192 SO, JACKIE, DOES THE WINNER GET A SCHOLARSHIP OR SOMETHING? 171 00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:06,943 WHO CARES? COLLEGE IS FOR UGLY GIRLS 172 00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:10,530 WHO CAN'T GET MODELING CONTRACTS. 173 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,033 NO. COLLEGE IS FOR WOMEN 174 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,784 WHO DON'T WANT TO MARRY THE FIRST IDIOT THEY MEET 175 00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:19,247 AND SQUEEZE OUT HIS BASTARD MORON CHILDREN. 176 00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:22,209 HEY, MOM. 177 00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:23,502 WHEN YOU WERE CLEANING UP DOWNSTAIRS, 178 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,378 YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN TO COME ACROSS 60 BUCKS, DID YOU? 179 00:08:25,546 --> 00:08:31,343 OH, ERIC, DID YOU LOSE YOUR CANDYLAND CASH? 180 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,012 DOES EVERYONE KNOW WHERE I KEEP MY MONEY? 181 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:37,766 OH, I'M SORRY, HONEY. IT WAS A GOOD HIDING PLACE. 182 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:41,436 OH! MAYBE YOU PUT IT IN CHUTES AND LADDERS. 183 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:47,108 NO. I CHECKED. 184 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,246 I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW WHO COULD HAVE TAKEN IT. 185 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,738 AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS LAURIE, BUT... 186 00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,365 OH, HONEY, NO. LAURIE WOULDN'T STEAL FROM YOU. 187 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,159 SHE STEALS FROM ME. 188 00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:58,828 RIGHT. 189 00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:01,373 SO THAT ONLY LEAVES ONE PERSON. 190 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:05,335 I MEAN... HE DOES LIVE IN THE BASEMENT. 191 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,045 OH, OKAY, NOW, 192 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,381 IF YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT STEVEN, I'M GONNA GET MAD. 193 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,633 HE IS A GOOD APPLE, AND HE IS YOUR FRIEND, 194 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:15,053 AND YOU CAN TRUST HIM. 195 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,930 CAN I? I MEAN... 196 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:18,848 NO, MOM, I HATE THINKING THIS. 197 00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:20,433 IT'S JUST... 198 00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:21,768 IT ALL ADDS UP. 199 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,136 I MEAN, IF NOT HYDE, THEN WHO? 200 00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:26,022 WELL, IT COULD BE... 201 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,943 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 202 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,696 I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE. 203 00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:35,949 OKAY. 204 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,701 OH... HA HA HA. 205 00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:39,202 HERE COMES A DUMB QUESTION. 206 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,787 UH... 207 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:44,124 I WASN'T A MISTAKE, WAS I? 208 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:45,792 OH, FOR... 209 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,546 FOR... 210 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:53,216 OKAY! WHO WANTS SOME COCOA?! 211 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:55,927 HA HA HA HA! 212 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:01,516 OKAY, JACKIE, IN 30 SECONDS OR LESS, 213 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,143 WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH 214 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,645 AS MISS DAIRY PRINCESS? GO! 215 00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:07,230 UM... 216 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,482 [MAKES TIMER CLICKING SOUND] 217 00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:12,527 UM... 218 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,029 BRRRNNNG! 219 00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:18,700 YOU JUST LOST, LADY! 220 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,243 MICHAEL, I WAS THINKING. 221 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,578 OH, REALLY? 222 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:24,331 WELL, IN 1974, MISS ALABAMA STARTED THINKING. 223 00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:25,707 DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS NOW? 224 00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:29,419 ALABAMA. 225 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,963 EEW! 226 00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:34,966 GOD, MICHAEL, I DON'T WANT TO ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING. 227 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,927 I JUST WANT THE TITLE SO I CAN LORD IT OVER PEOPLE. 228 00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:41,806 THAT'S ALL I WANT, TOO, JACKIE. 229 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:43,266 [CHUCKLES] 230 00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:45,268 OKAY, SO THE NEXT CATEGORY'S TALENT. 231 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:46,978 I CAN SING. 232 00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:50,649 OH, NO, YOU CAN'T. 233 00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:56,613 SO... 234 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:57,989 BOY, AM I DISAPPOINTED. 235 00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:00,992 I WENT TO GET MY MONEY, BUT SOMEONE STOLE IT. 236 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,704 SO FORGET THE FAKE GOLD NECKLACE FROM SEARS. 237 00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:07,791 NOW I GOTTA GET DONNA A CRAPPY GIFT. 238 00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:11,503 HEY, WHAT WOULD YOU GUYS RATHER SEE JACKIE DO, 239 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:15,048 WALK A TIGHTROPE OR RIDE A MECHANICAL BULL? 240 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,426 WELL... 241 00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:20,220 EITHER WAY, SHE'LL FALL ON HER ASS, 242 00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:24,432 SO... I LIKE 'EM BOTH. 243 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:29,062 SO, ERIC, WHICH RAT BASTARD... 244 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,856 DO YOU THINK STOLE YOUR MONEY? 245 00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,359 WELL, I MEAN, IT'S ANYONE'S GUESS. 246 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,027 FOR ALL I KNOW, I MEAN... 247 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,613 IT COULD BE SOMEONE IN THIS VERY ROOM. 248 00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:40,448 HO HO HO. 249 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,242 HOW EXCITING. 250 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,202 A MYSTERY. 251 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:47,997 IS FEZ A SUSPECT? 252 00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:51,167 YEAH... PROBABLY NOT, FEZ. 253 00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:54,254 WHY NOT? I CAN BE EVIL. 254 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:57,298 I HATE YOU. 255 00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:59,884 SEE? 256 00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:04,431 OH, ERIC, I DON'T HATE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I'M SORRY. 257 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,268 THAT'S OKAY, FEZ. 258 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:11,271 AND, UH, I'M ALSO PRETTY SURE KELSO HERE DIDN'T TAKE IT. 259 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:17,736 HEY, HOW LONG DO YOU GUYS THINK JACKIE COULD HOLD HER BREATH? 260 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,447 GEE, INSPECTOR... 261 00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:22,866 SO IF IT ISN'T KELSO... 262 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:25,201 AND IT ISN'T FEZ... 263 00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:27,871 I WONDER WHO YOU COULD SUSPECT... 264 00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:31,291 DILLHOLE. 265 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:34,169 UH-OH. 266 00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:37,505 HYDE... I DIDN'T SAY HE TOOK IT. 267 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:41,718 HEY... 268 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,052 YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT A FUNNY WORD IS? 269 00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:46,306 PICKLE-WEASEL! 270 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:50,810 HA HA HA HA! 271 00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:53,146 FORMAN, THEN SAY I DIDN'T TAKE IT. 272 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:56,274 YOU ARE BOTH BRINGING ME DOWN. 273 00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,234 HYDE, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY 274 00:12:58,402 --> 00:13:01,029 YOU DIDN'T TAKE IT. 275 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,198 HA HA HA HA! 276 00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:06,409 I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SAY I DIDN'T. 277 00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:09,537 [BREATHING RAPIDLY] 278 00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:11,748 LOOK, JUST TELL ME YOU DIDN'T 279 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:14,334 AND I'LL TOTALLY TRUST YOU. 280 00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:16,795 YOU KNOW WHAT'S A FUNNY WORD? 281 00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,130 PICKLE-WEASEL! 282 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:20,757 HA HA HA HA! 283 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,050 HOW ABOUT I TELL YOU THIS? 284 00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:24,636 GO TO HELL, FORMAN! 285 00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:26,763 OH, MY GOD! 286 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,097 JACKIE SHOULD CLOG DANCE! 287 00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:31,059 WE CAN'T LOSE! 288 00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:38,942 BEAUTY PAGEANT, HERE WE COME! 289 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,861 HA HA HA! 290 00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:49,160 [ENGINE STALLS] 291 00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:53,414 AWW, YOU RAN OUT OF GAS, YOU IDIOT. 292 00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:55,124 YOU FORGOT TO GET GAS? 293 00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:57,293 GOD, JACKIE, SOMEONE HAD TO HEM YOUR OUTFIT 294 00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:59,087 FOR THE CLOG DANCE. 295 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,547 MICHAEL, I TOLD YOU, 296 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,173 I'M NOT DOING A CLOG DANCE! 297 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,759 GOD, YOUR STUPID VAN HAS RUINED MY LIFE! 298 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,511 YOUR LIFE? 299 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,429 WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? 300 00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:10,682 WHAT ABOUT YOUR LIFE?! 301 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,351 JACKIE, WE ARE A TEAM. AND PART OF BEING A TEAM 302 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,938 IS THAT YOU HAVE TO DO EXACTLY WHAT I TELL YOU. 303 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,524 I... YOU KNOW, JACKIE, 304 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,485 THERE IS NO "U" IN "TEAMWORK"! 305 00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:29,868 [CRYING] 306 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:32,495 OH, JACKIE, YOU'RE UPSET. 307 00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,956 COME, SIT ON MY LAP. 308 00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,673 AHH... 309 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,258 TA-DA! 310 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,593 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! 311 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,469 OH, MY GOD. 312 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:51,890 WOW, THEY'RE... THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. 313 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,641 I GOT YOU SOMETHING, TOO. 314 00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,435 HERE, OPEN IT. 315 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,729 OH, MY GOD. 316 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,689 IT'S A WATCH. 317 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:03,860 AND IT'S ALL DIGITAL AND STUFF! 318 00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:05,945 OH, GEE, LOOK AT THAT. 319 00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:07,530 YOU HAD IT ENGRAVED. 320 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,449 WHAT, YOU DON'T LIKE IT? 321 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:10,867 NO. NO, I LOVE IT. 322 00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,827 IT'S JUST... 323 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,746 MAN, YOU SPENT A LOT OF MONEY ON THIS. 324 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:18,207 YEAH, WHICH MEANS YOU BETTER START PUTTING OUT. 325 00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:22,503 OKAY, IT'S KIND OF HARD TO BE A TEASE 326 00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:26,966 IF YOU'RE NOT PLAYING ALONG. 327 00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:29,969 DONNA, I WAS GOING TO GET YOU SOMETHING REALLY GREAT, BUT... 328 00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:33,723 YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THE CRIME SPREE IN CANDYLAND. 329 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,017 YEAH. 330 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,602 OH! YOU WANT TO SEE A PICTURE 331 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,145 OF WHAT I WAS GOING TO GET YOU? 332 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,522 SURE. 333 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,402 YOU WERE GONNA GET ME THAT? 334 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:49,781 MY GOD, THAT'S SO PRETTY. 335 00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:51,574 WHAT DO YOU THINK, BY CHRISTMAS MAYBE, 336 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,826 IF YOU SAVE YOUR MONEY? 337 00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:55,119 DONNA... 338 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,487 WELL, ERIC, AFTER SEEING THIS, 339 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:59,666 I MEAN, I HATE THESE CRAPPY FLOWERS. 340 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:03,086 I KNOW. I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE YOU CRAPPY FLOWERS. 341 00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,755 I'M KIDDING. I'M KIDDING. 342 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:10,009 I LOVE THE FLOWERS. 343 00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:17,266 BUT, YOU KNOW... 344 00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:20,103 MAYBE IF I RETURN THAT WATCH, I CAN GET THIS FOR MYSELF. 345 00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:21,354 GIMME THE WATCH BACK! 346 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:22,522 NO WAY! 347 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,524 GIMME IT! 348 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:27,026 COME AND GET IT! 349 00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:30,697 I DON'T KNOW, FEZ, 350 00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:31,531 MAYBE MICHAEL WAS RIGHT. 351 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,116 MAYBE I DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES 352 00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:34,742 TO WIN THE PAGEANT BY MYSELF. 353 00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:35,994 THAT IS NONSENSE. 354 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,955 YOU ARE PRETTY AND NICE AND TALENTED AND SWEET, 355 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:42,083 AND EVERYTHING GOOD IN THE WHOLE WORLD IS YOU. 356 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:44,502 I KNOW, I KNOW. 357 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:47,046 THAT'S WHAT I TOLD MICHAEL. 358 00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:48,381 BUT THEN HE SAID... 359 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,967 WHO CARES WHAT MICHAEL SAID? 360 00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:52,510 HE WAS USING YOU FOR YOUR BEAUTY 361 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:55,263 SO HE COULD BECOME POPULAR. 362 00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:58,433 HE MAKES ME SICK. 363 00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:00,977 GOD... 364 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:03,771 I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY. 365 00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:09,068 OKAY, JACKIE... 366 00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:10,653 I'VE HAD SOME TIME TO THINK, 367 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,488 AND, UH... 368 00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:15,158 I'M STILL DISAPPOINTED IN YOU... 369 00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:16,659 BUT I'M WILLING TO TALK ABOUT... 370 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:17,910 OKAY, STOP. 371 00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:19,245 MICHAEL, STOP. 372 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:20,413 I'VE BEEN TALKING TO FEZ, 373 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:23,666 AND I HAVE ONLY ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU. 374 00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,044 I LOVE YOU! 375 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:27,628 WHAT?! 376 00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:29,005 SEE, MICHAEL, YOU MUST HAVE 377 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,256 REALLY BELIEVED IN ME TO THINK YOU COULD 378 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,717 RIDE MY COATTAILS TO THE TOP. 379 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:38,806 OKAY, GET OFF ME, 380 00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:40,266 BOTH OF YOU. 381 00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:44,145 YOU MAKE ME SICK. 382 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:50,860 [CLEARS THROAT] 383 00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,320 HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN', RED? 384 00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:53,946 AH, I BORROWED ERIC'S CANDYLAND MONEY 385 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:57,116 TO PAY FOR THE WATER HEATER. 386 00:17:58,577 --> 00:17:59,952 YOU, UH... 387 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,412 YOU TOOK ERIC'S MONEY? 388 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,415 SHH. HE DOESN'T KNOW A THING ABOUT IT. 389 00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:08,211 IT'S BACK NOW. HE'LL BE NONE THE WISER. 390 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:12,173 HEY-HEY! HOW YA DOIN'? 391 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,176 LOOK, HYDE, I JUST GOT BACK 392 00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:16,552 FROM HANGING OUT WITH DONNA, 393 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,513 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? HYDE, I DON'T EVEN CARE 394 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,014 WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MONEY. 395 00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:22,600 'CAUSE MONEY DOESN'T MAKE THE WORLD GO AROUND. 396 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,018 YOU KNOW WHAT DOES? 397 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,854 SCREW YOU. YOU CALLED ME A THIEF. 398 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,482 IT'S LOVE. 399 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:34,362 THAT'S RIGHT. 400 00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:37,240 LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO AROUND. 401 00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:38,699 WELL, THAT'S GREAT. 402 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:41,577 BECAUSE RED TOOK YOUR MONEY. 403 00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:43,037 [LAUGHS] 404 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:45,206 RIGHT, HYDE. MY DAD TOOK IT. YEAH. 405 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,583 WHY DON'T YOU ASK HIM, FORMAN? 406 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,711 UH, DAD... 407 00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:52,380 HYDE SAID YOU TOOK MY MONEY? 408 00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,674 OH, YEAH. I WAS A LITTLE SHORT ON THE WATER HEATER. 409 00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:57,426 THANKS FOR HELPING OUT. 410 00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:02,849 GOOD NEWS, BUDDY. YOU'RE CLEARED. 411 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,561 WHY DON'T YOU GET BENT, MAN? 412 00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:07,979 WAIT A MINUTE. 413 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,565 YOU ACCUSED STEVEN OF STEALING YOUR MONEY? 414 00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:12,483 WELL... YEAH, BUT TO BE FAIR, DAD, 415 00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:15,778 THAT WAS BEFORE I FOUND OUT YOU STOLE IT. 416 00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,989 WHICH BRINGS UP WHY YOU DIDN'T ASK ME, 417 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:22,201 AND ALSO, YOU KNOW, YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME. 418 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,079 WELL, YOU COULD'VE. 419 00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:27,623 OKAY... 420 00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:30,459 I'M SORRY THAT I... 421 00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:35,256 TOOK SOME MONEY OUT OF YOUR LITTLE BOX... 422 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,550 WHEN I FEED YOU AND CLOTHE YOU 423 00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,595 AND PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD. 424 00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:43,931 SOR... RY. 425 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,727 NOW... 426 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,687 HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO STEVEN? 427 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,148 HE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND. 428 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,734 WELL... HE MADE A MOVE ON DONNA. 429 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,653 OH, COME ON. 430 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,323 OKAY. 431 00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:03,242 [CLEARS THROAT] 432 00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:04,577 WELL, THEN, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING THAT WE CAN DO. 433 00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:08,164 9 ROUNDS OF BARE-KNUCKLE BOXING. 434 00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,125 COME ON. 435 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:14,045 HELP ME MOVE THE COUCH. 436 00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:16,422 WAIT, UH, DAD, I DON'T... 437 00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:17,798 NO, NO, NO, NO. 438 00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:19,133 I'LL REFEREE. 439 00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:20,468 BELIEVE ME, WHEN IT'S OVER, 440 00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:23,346 YOU'LL BOTH FEEL GREAT. 441 00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:26,349 I KNOW I WILL. 442 00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:27,808 RED... 443 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,478 LOOK, IF YOU'RE NOT MAD ENOUGH TO BARE-KNUCKLE BOX, 444 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:33,773 THEN YOU'RE NOT MAD. 445 00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:35,316 NOW, BOTH OF YOU 446 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:39,403 NEED TO JUST GET THE HELL OVER IT. 447 00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:47,495 ONCE AGAIN, RED'S SIMPLE, EARTHY WISDOM 448 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,957 SAVES THE DAY. 449 00:20:51,124 --> 00:20:54,001 YEAH. AIN'T HE A PEACH? 450 00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:57,630 LOOK, HYDE... 451 00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:00,466 I JUST... 452 00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:03,511 GOD, I'M SO SORRY. 453 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,179 YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN? 454 00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,390 YOU EITHER FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT HAPPENED WITH DONNA, 455 00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:09,183 OR YOU DON'T. 456 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,978 YOU CAN'T KEEP THROWING THAT IN MY FACE. 457 00:21:13,146 --> 00:21:14,397 YEAH. 458 00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:15,982 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 459 00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:17,275 UM... IT'S OVER. 460 00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:20,736 I'M NEVER GONNA BRING IT UP AGAIN. I PROMISE. 461 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,532 YEAH, ALL RIGHT. 462 00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,742 WHOA. 463 00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:28,327 MAN, SHE GOT YOU THIS WATCH, 464 00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:31,914 AND ALL YOU GOT HER WERE THOSE CRAPPY FLOWERS? 465 00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:33,416 YOU LOSER! 466 00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:36,294 YOU LOSER. WHOA. 467 00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,588 [CLOG DANCING MUSIC PLAYS] 468 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:45,261 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 469 00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:50,016 YEAH! DANCE, BABY, DANCE! 470 00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:56,439 GO, JACKIE! 471 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:03,112 LOOKING GOOD, BABY!