1 00:00:00,875 --> 00:00:04,670 [MUSIC] 2 00:00:05,588 --> 00:00:07,756 OH, MAN! WHERE THE HELL IS ERIC? 3 00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:09,883 I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE JACKIE FINDS ME. 4 00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:11,218 WHAT'D YOU DO NOW? 5 00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:12,469 OH, SHE'S MAD 6 00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:15,347 'CAUSE I DIDN'T SAY, LOVE YOU, AFTER LUNCH. 7 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,725 I SAY IT ALL DAY LONG: AFTER GYM, "LOVE YOU, JACKIE"; 8 00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:19,309 AFTER ALGEBRA, LOVE YOU, JACKIE; 9 00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:20,677 AFTER I SAY, LOVE YOU, JACKIE, 10 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:23,439 I SAY, "LOVE YOU, JACKIE." 11 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:26,817 IT SICKENS ME! 12 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,569 HEY, MAN, CHECK IT OUT. 13 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:31,572 FOGGY WINDOWS. 14 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:32,906 BUMMER. 15 00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:35,951 SOMEONE MUST HAVE LEFT THEIR HOT LUNCH IN THE CAR. 16 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:40,581 NO, YOU IDIOT. SOMEONE'S IN THERE MAKIN' OUT, MAN. 17 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,334 PATTY! 18 00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,920 HYDE! HEY, H-HOW YOU DOIN'? 19 00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:50,549 SUPER. 20 00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:54,678 OKAY, WELL, I'LL SEE YA. 21 00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:58,599 HEY, DIDN'T YOU GO OUT WITH THAT GIRL? 22 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,225 I DON'T THINK SO. 23 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,977 YEAH. THAT'S THE GIRL THAT DOGGED YOU 24 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,396 ON THAT BLIND DATE. 25 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,148 KELSO, WHO CARES? 26 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,036 HEY, LET'S SEE WHAT LOSER SHE ENDED UP WITH. 27 00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,235 YEAH. 28 00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:17,034 HELLO. 29 00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:19,912 BURN! 30 00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,749 HEY, MAN, THAT'S A BURN. 31 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,922 ♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪ 32 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,383 ♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪ 33 00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:37,096 ♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪ 34 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:40,516 ♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪ 35 00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:44,478 ♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪ 36 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:48,232 ♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪ 37 00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:52,111 ♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪ ♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪ 38 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,572 HELLO, WISCONSIN! 39 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:05,624 ERIC, HONEY, I WAS THINKING MAYBE TOMORROW NIGHT 40 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:11,296 WE COULD GO SHOPPING, JUST THE TWO OF US. 41 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,465 WHY? 42 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:14,913 WELL, BECAUSE WE NEED TO GET YOU 43 00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:17,803 SOME NEW SHOES AND SOME UNDERWEAR. 44 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,682 KITTY, WE BOUGHT HIM SHOES LAST YEAR. 45 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,768 YEAH, AND I CAN SHOP FOR MY OWN UNDERWEAR. 46 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:28,147 OH, NO, YOU CAN NOT. 47 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,399 THE LAST TIME YOU WENT, YOU BOUGHT THEM TOO SNUG, 48 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:34,778 AND I WANT GRANDCHILDREN. 49 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:37,447 YEAH, WELL, I HAVE TO... 50 00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:40,409 BYE. 51 00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:44,705 YOU KNOW, HE USED TO LOVE GOING SHOPPING WITH ME. 52 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,331 LOOK, KITTY, HE'S 16. 53 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:47,624 17. 54 00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:49,459 WHATEVER. 55 00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:51,628 THE POINT IS THAT WHEN A BOY HITS THAT AGE, 56 00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:54,047 THEY DON'T WANNA SPEND TIME WITH THEIR MOTHER. 57 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:55,632 AND IF THEY DO... 58 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,051 THEY'RE WEIRD. 59 00:02:58,219 --> 00:02:59,678 IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. 60 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,389 WELL IT IS A BIG DEAL TO ME, RED FORMAN. 61 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:05,309 IT IS A BIG DEAL! 62 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,773 OKAY. 63 00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:13,317 WELL, I JUST... 64 00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:14,818 I JUST WISH SOMETIMES, 65 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:17,362 HE... HE... HE WOULD WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH ME. 66 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,906 WELL, FORCE HIM! 67 00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:20,866 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HE WANTS. 68 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,202 AS LONG AS WE'RE PAYING HIS WAY... 69 00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:26,038 WE OWN HIM. 70 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:29,875 FEZ HAS A GIRLFRIEND? 71 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,460 OUR LITTLE FEZ? 72 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,296 YOU'RE KIDDING? 73 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,632 I MEAN, GOOD! 74 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,842 GOD, HE WAS SO IN LOVE WITH ME, 75 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,594 IT WAS GETTING EMBARRASSING. 76 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,305 RIGHT. 77 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,558 SO... ANYWAYS, YOU GUYS, HOW DO YOU KNOW 78 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:50,395 WHEN YOU NEED NEW UNDERWEAR? 79 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:54,316 UH, HMM. IF YOU'RE ASKING, YOU NEED NEW UNDERWEAR. 80 00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:58,153 OH, GOOD. PEOPLE ARE HERE. 81 00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:02,199 I WANT YOU TO MEET MY GIRLFRIEND PATTY. 82 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:04,868 HEY, YOU GUYS. 83 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,328 THIS IS ERIC. ERIC, THIS IS MY... 84 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,872 GIRLFRIEND. 85 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,249 THIS IS DONNA. 86 00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,708 DONNA, THIS IS MY... 87 00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:13,794 GIRLFRIEND. 88 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,295 SO YOU GUYS ARE JUST FRIENDS? 89 00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:16,755 NO, DONNA. 90 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,382 FEZ, I'M KIDDING. I'M KIDDING. 91 00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:20,133 SO, HOW'S IT GOIN', PATTY? 92 00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:21,385 GOOD. 93 00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:22,636 I HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, PEOPLE, 94 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:25,180 PATTY AND I WERE JUST OUTSIDE MAKING OUT... 95 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:28,058 BECAUSE PATTY'S MY GIRLFRIEND. 96 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,311 HI, I'M JACKIE. 97 00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:33,146 I'M SURE FEZ HAS TOLD YOU ALL ABOUT ME. 98 00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:35,774 UM, NO. NO, YOUR NAME NEVER CAME UP. 99 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,526 WHAT? 100 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:41,863 WELL... WHATEVER. 101 00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:44,449 OKAY, ISN'T THIS PLEASANT? 102 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,994 UM, PATTY, HAVE A SEAT. 103 00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:52,708 FEZ, SHE'S LOVELY. I'M IMPRESSED. 104 00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:55,085 UM, JACKIE, I'M A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW, OKAY? 105 00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,713 THANK YOU. 106 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,845 SO, HYDE, WHAT'S WITH FEZ AND THAT GIRL? 107 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,596 DID YOU REALLY GO OUT WITH HER? 108 00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,140 YEAH, NO BIGGIE. 109 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:11,643 SHE SUCKED, ANYWAY. HE CAN HAVE HER. 110 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,145 SO FEZ HAS A GIRLFRIEND? 111 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,688 STILL, I MEAN, WHAT'S THAT ABOUT? 112 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,523 FEZ SNAGGIN' A GIRL AWAY FROM YOU? 113 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:19,443 I... NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY. 114 00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,069 SO WHAT'S SHE LIKE? 115 00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:24,031 IT'S JUST SO TWILIGHT ZONE, I MEAN, TO SEE FEZ... 116 00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:31,163 ERIC! YOUR MOTHER ASKED YOU A QUESTION ABOUT THE FOREIGN KID. 117 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,878 WHAT? OH. 118 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,713 WHAT? NO. NEVER MIND. 119 00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,048 OKAY, THAT'S IT. 120 00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:44,926 ERIC, YOU'RE GONNA SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOUR MOTHER. 121 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,971 WHAT'D I DO? 122 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:50,265 RED, DON'T MAKE IT SOUND LIKE A PUNISHMENT. 123 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:51,475 WELL, IT IS. 124 00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,560 RED! 125 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,604 YOU CAN LOOK AT IT ANY WAY YOU WANT, 126 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,190 BUT IT'S GONNA HAPPEN, DAMN IT. 127 00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:00,108 WAIT... WAIT, IS THIS... 128 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,611 BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANNA GO SHOPPING WITH MOM? 129 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,864 YOU DON'T WANNA GO SHOPPING WITH YOUR MOM? 130 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:09,326 BOY, I TELL YA, IF I HAD A MOM, 131 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,870 I WOULD GO SHOPPING WITH HER EVERY SINGLE DAY, 132 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,622 BECAUSE NO ONE LOVES YOU... 133 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,583 LIKE YOUR MOM. 134 00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:19,461 THAT'S TRUE. 135 00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:23,840 ERIC, HONEY, WE DON'T HAVE TO GO SHOPPING. 136 00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:25,175 WE COULD GO SEE A MOVIE. 137 00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,677 IT'LL BE LIKE A LITTLE DATE. 138 00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:29,262 NO, NO, NO, NO. SHOPPING'S GREAT. 139 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:31,890 YOU KNOW, I, UM, I NEED NEW UNDERWEAR, SO... 140 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,934 I THINK A DATE IS A GREAT IDEA. 141 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,228 HEY, YOU GUYS SHOULD GO SEE ANNIE HALL. 142 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,146 I THINK YOU'D JUST LOVE IT, MRS. FORMAN. 143 00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:39,940 SEE? STEVEN'S HELPING OUT. 144 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,109 THANK YOU, STEVEN. 145 00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:43,402 NOW, ANNIE HALL. 146 00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:44,820 I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT MOVIE. 147 00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:46,547 OH, ERIC'S JUST DYIN' TO SEE THAT MOVIE. 148 00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:49,449 BUT I DON'T... JUST DYIN'. 149 00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:57,416 UM, I GUESS FEZ REALLY GOT ME 150 00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,419 WITH ALL OF THE POEMS THAT HE LEFT IN MY LOCKER. 151 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,046 OH, THAT IS SO ROMANTIC. 152 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,923 WELL, DOESN'T KELSO WRITE YOU POEMS? 153 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,509 NO. NO, BUT HE'S NOT FOREIGN. 154 00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:10,429 HEY, CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING INTERESTING? 155 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,807 LIKE... DONNY OSMOND? 156 00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,602 HEY, YOU GUYS, 157 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,271 THE EAGLES ARE ON DON KIRSHNER'S 158 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,939 ROCK CONCERT TONIGHT. 159 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,427 OH, MAN, I'M GONNA MISS THE EAGLES 160 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:25,360 BECAUSE I GOTTA... I GOTTA... 161 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,700 I'M BUSY. 162 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,952 DO WE HAVE A DATE TONIGHT? 163 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,204 NO. I WISH. 164 00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:40,250 I'M GOIN' TO A MOVIE. 165 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:43,086 WITH MY MOM. 166 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:46,673 HE'S GOT A SPECIAL NIGHT OUT WITH MOMMY. 167 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:50,135 HEY, MAYBE YOU'LL GET LUCKY. 168 00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:58,643 AND YOUR MOM'LL PAY FOR THE MOVIE! 169 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:02,522 GOD, YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK. 170 00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:04,733 PATTY, YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD REALLY 171 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,276 GO TO THE MALL TOGETHER SO I CAN INTRODUCE YOU... 172 00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:07,819 ARE YOU READY, DARLING? 173 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,696 EXCUSE ME, FEZ. I WAS TALKING. 174 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:12,449 OH, I KNOW, JACKIE. YOU ARE ALWAYS TALKING. 175 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,786 OH! BURN! 176 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:23,502 SORRY, I JUST APPRECIATE A GOOD BURN. 177 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,129 SO, WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOIN'? 178 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,048 UM, WE ARE GOING TO THE RED LOBSTER 179 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:31,134 FOR A ROMANTIC DINNER OF RED LOBSTER. 180 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,970 I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER. 181 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,682 OKAY, I DON'T LIKE HER. 182 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,730 AND I DON'T SEE WHY WE HAVE TO BE SO NICE TO HER 183 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,312 JUST BECAUSE SHE'S DATING SOMEONE IN OUR GROUP. 184 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,357 BITES THE BIG ONE, DOESN'T IT? 185 00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:49,778 WELL, I GOTTA GO TO WORK. 186 00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:52,781 GOD, AM I RIGHT, DONNA? DON'T YOU HATE HER? 187 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,784 NOT REALLY, JACKIE. I KINDA LIKE HER. 188 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,331 HEY, WHAT WAS THAT FOR? 189 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:04,876 THAT'S FOR NOT WRITING ME POEMS, MICHAEL! 190 00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:10,757 UH, LOVE YOU, JACKIE. 191 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,348 LEO, DID YOU TAKE YOUR TURN YET, MAN? 192 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,016 NO, MAN. 193 00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:24,729 I... I CAN'T DECIDE BETWEEN COLLEGE OR A CAREER. 194 00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,856 WELL, WE CAN'T START UNTIL YOU DECIDE. 195 00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,025 SO CHOOSE, MAN, OR I'LL START WORKIN'. 196 00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:32,112 HEY, DON'T RUSH ME, MAN. 197 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:36,199 THIS DECISION'S GONNA AFFECT THE REST OF MY LIFE. 198 00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:40,495 GO TO COLLEGE. 199 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:41,913 OKAY. 200 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,206 HEY, BUT... 201 00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:46,293 WHAT IF THOSE FRAT GUYS MAKE FUN OF MY HAIR? 202 00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:50,755 AND BEAT ME UP LIKE... LIKE FASCISTS AND STUFF? 203 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,049 WELL, THEN JUST START A CAREER. 204 00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:57,512 I CAN'T LET THOSE FRAT GUYS GET AWAY WITH IT, MAN. 205 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,348 LEO, MAN, IT'S JUST A GAME! 206 00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:04,311 YEAH. LIFE IS HARD. 207 00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:17,073 WELL, NOW, SEE, I DIDN'T KNOW 208 00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:18,867 THAT YOU LIKED GREEN PEPPERS. 209 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,578 WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? 210 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:25,457 AUGUST 5, 1972. 211 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,417 I MEAN... 212 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,753 I MEAN, DO YOU LIKE GREEN PEPPERS? 213 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,296 WHY, YES I DO. 214 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:35,216 VERY MUCH. 215 00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:36,551 SO HOW'S DONNA? 216 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,345 WHAT? WE HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING YET. WHAT? 217 00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:40,180 RELAX. 218 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:44,184 I AM NOT HERE TO GRILL YOU ABOUT YOUR LIFE, ERIC. 219 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,849 BUT, YOU KNOW, YOUNG ADULTS DO HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY. 220 00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,730 MOM! 221 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,358 PLEASE. 222 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,453 HONEY, YOU MAY NOT REALIZE IT RIGHT NOW, 223 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,830 BUT I AM ACTUALLY DOING YOU A GIANT FAVOR 224 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:08,958 BY MAKING YOU SPEND TIME WITH ME. 225 00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:11,628 WELL, THANK YOU. 226 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,546 NO, NO, NO. I MEAN IT. 227 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,131 BOYS WHO REJECT THEIR MOTHERS 228 00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:16,966 GROW UP TO HAVE HUGE PROBLEMS. 229 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:19,594 YOU WILL HATE YOURSELF. 230 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,262 AND EVERY RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE WITH A WOMAN 231 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:22,972 WILL JUST BE A MESS. 232 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,100 SO, IF YOU DON'T SPEND TIME WITH ME NOW, 233 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:28,937 YOU MAY NEVER HAVE SEX. 234 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,898 [LAUGHING] 235 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,276 I'M TEASING! 236 00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:39,072 A LITTLE. 237 00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,700 AHA. HEY... 238 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:45,370 LOOK HOW FAR FLORENCE IS FROM... VENICE. 239 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,580 ERIC... 240 00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,332 HONEY, I JUST... 241 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,751 I JUST WANTED TO SPEND A LITTLE TIME ALONE WITH YOU 242 00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:55,380 OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE. THAT'S ALL. 243 00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:57,590 MOM, IT'S FINE. 244 00:11:57,758 --> 00:12:01,428 AND, IN FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS GREAT. 245 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:08,268 HEY, FORMAN'S OUT ON A DATE WITH HIS MOM! 246 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:14,023 FORMAN AND HIS MOM! 247 00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:20,488 [THINKING] MY GOODNESS, THAT WOODY ALLEN IS NEUROTIC. 248 00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,736 WELL, IF I LIVED IN NEW YORK, I'D BE IN THERAPY, TOO. 249 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,660 THE STREETS ARE FILTHY. 250 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:28,872 [THINKING] WHOA! DIANE KEATON IS NOT WEARING A BRA. 251 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,708 OKAY, DON'T LET YOUR MOM SEE YOU LOOK. 252 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,334 BUT I HAVE TO LOOK. 253 00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:34,961 I'M LOOKIN'. 254 00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:37,964 I'M LOOKIN', AND I DON'T CARE! 255 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:39,799 OH, PLEASE. 256 00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:41,176 HE EXPECTS HER TO MAKE LOVE 257 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:44,471 WHILE HE'S WEARING THOSE BLACK SOCKS? 258 00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:48,767 NOTE TO SELF: THROW AWAY ALL BLACK SOCKS. 259 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,311 MAH-JONGG? 260 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:54,230 WHAT THE HELL IS MAH-JONGG? 261 00:12:54,398 --> 00:12:55,482 MAH-JONGG? 262 00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:58,777 WHAT THE HELL IS MAH-JONGG? 263 00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:04,073 OKAY. "AN ASPIRIN THE SIZE OF A BRICK." 264 00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:07,410 NOW, THAT IS FUNNY. 265 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,079 FINALLY, A SCENE WITHOUT SEX. 266 00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:12,791 OH, GREAT. DRUGS. 267 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,251 THANK YOU, WOODY ALLEN. 268 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:19,506 HUH. I GUESS COCAINE IS EXPENSIVE. 269 00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:21,841 I'M FINALLY GETTING THE FEELING BACK IN MY JAW? 270 00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,718 I DON'T GET THAT. I MEAN, HE WAS JUST 271 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,846 IN BED WITH HER AND... OH! OKAY. 272 00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:28,014 I SEE. 273 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,433 OH, GOD. I HOPE MY MOM DOESN'T GET THAT. 274 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:33,686 OOH. I WONDER IF ERIC GETS THAT. 275 00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:37,565 WELL, I AM NOT GONNA EXPLAIN IT TO HIM. 276 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:46,032 SO NOW PATTY'S SEEIN' FEZ, AND I JUST DON'T GET IT. 277 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,452 'CAUSE SHE COULDA HAD ME. 278 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:53,122 I'M A REAL CATCH, MAN. 279 00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:57,377 ALL RIGHT! I HAD TWINS, MAN! 280 00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:01,422 OH, LOOK. THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL! 281 00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,551 CONGRATULATIONS. 282 00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,427 THANKS, MAN. 283 00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:08,595 HEY, I DON'T WANNA BE COMPETITIVE OR ANYTHING, MAN, 284 00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:14,269 BUT, UH, I'VE GOT TWO KIDS, AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANY. 285 00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:18,231 YOU'RE JUST A LONELY PLUMBER, DUDE. 286 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,233 IT WOULDN'T BE SO BAD, 287 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,901 BUT IT'S FEZ. 288 00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:24,153 I TAUGHT HIM EVERYTHING HE KNOWS. 289 00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,447 IT'S ALL BACKWARDS, MAN. 290 00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:29,409 I GUESS YOU JUST CAN'T DWELL ON THINGS, MAN. 291 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:30,785 YEAH. 292 00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,412 MAYBE I SHOULD JUST BE HAPPY FOR FEZ. 293 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,122 I MEAN, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN HIS WHOLE LIFE 294 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:37,041 THAT HE'S EVER HAD A GIRL, YOU KNOW. 295 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:40,169 NOW, YOU KNOW, A WHILE BACK, I PICKED UP A CARD 296 00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:43,506 THAT, YOU KNOW... AND I HAD A CAR ACCIDENT... 297 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:48,261 AND, UH, I WAS DWELLING ON THAT, MAN. 298 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:53,850 I'M SORRY, WHAT WERE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? 299 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:56,060 MAYBE I SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK. 300 00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:59,898 IF YOU GET BACK TO WORK, YOU'RE FIRED, MAN. 301 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:06,195 HEY, I GOT TWINS AGAIN, MAN! 302 00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:10,742 JUST ADMIT IT, DONNA. 303 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,869 PATTY IS TOTALLY WRONG FOR FEZ. 304 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,621 WELL, JACKIE, WE'VE NEVER SEEN YOU 305 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:17,457 QUITE THIS TRANSPARENT BEFORE. 306 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,208 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 307 00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:21,544 SHE'S SO AWFUL, DONNA! 308 00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:25,006 LET'S HATE HER FOREVER, DONNA! 309 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,466 LET'S SHAVE HER HEAD AND RUN HER 310 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:29,010 "OUT OF TOWN, DONNA!" 311 00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,179 FOCUS, DONNA! 312 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,890 WE'RE RAGGING ON PATTY, REMEMBER? 313 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,498 JACKIE, DID YOU EVER THINK THAT MAYBE 314 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,685 YOU HATE PATTY BECAUSE YOU LIKE FEZ? 315 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:42,649 OH, YOU ARE IN DANGEROUS TERRITORY, PINCIOTTI. 316 00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:44,901 NO, I MEAN, IT'S TRUE. 317 00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:47,320 YOU HATE SEEING FEZ DROOL OVER SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOU. 318 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,822 YOU'RE CRAZY. I DON'T LIKE FEZ. 319 00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:51,366 I THINK YOU DO. 320 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:54,494 OH, SHUT UP. 321 00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:57,664 JACKIE, YOU'RE BLUSHING! 322 00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:00,583 OW! 323 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,126 I'LL ADMIT THAT, UH... 324 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,420 FEZ WOULD BE OKAY FOR A QUICK FLING 325 00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:06,268 IF I WAS OFF ON A VACATION WITH MY PARENTS, 326 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:10,385 LIKE IN MICHIGAN OR CUBA. 327 00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:12,595 WHERE NO ONE WOULD EVER FIND OUT! 328 00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:14,764 EVER, EVER, EVER. 329 00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:18,351 FEZ AND JACKIE, SITTIN' IN A TREE. 330 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:22,397 MR. AND MRS. FEZ... 331 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,816 FEZ. 332 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,860 DONNA, PLEASE, PLEASE SHUT UP. 333 00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:29,946 JACKIE, YOU ARE SO TOTALLY HOT FOR HIM. 334 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:33,116 I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES. 335 00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:36,119 OH, MY GOD. 336 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,037 OH, MY GOD! 337 00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:40,206 I LIKE FEZ! 338 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:43,918 [SCREAMING] NO! 339 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:51,050 NO! 340 00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,309 WELL, BOY, WASN'T THAT FUN, SEEING ALL THOSE 341 00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:04,272 SEX SCENES WITH YOUR MOTHER? 342 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:08,151 OH, IT WAS SUPER-SEXY. 343 00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:10,820 I'M SO GLAD WE COULD ENJOY THAT TOGETHER. 344 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,030 REALLY, I AM. 345 00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:15,366 SO, I GUESS WOMEN IN NEW YORK DON'T WEAR BRAS. 346 00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,953 UM, IT'S DISGUSTING... 347 00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:22,457 AND WE SHOULD MOVE THERE IMMEDIATELY. 348 00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:23,958 WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, 349 00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:27,378 BUT I'VE SEEN ENOUGH NIPPLES FOR ONE DAY. 350 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,797 MOM. 351 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,174 WHAT? 352 00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:35,136 I DON'T EVER WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY, "NIPPLES," OKAY? 353 00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:39,015 WHY NOT? MEN HAVE NIPPLES. 354 00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,309 YOUR FATHER HAS NIPPLES. 355 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:44,604 NO! HE DOES NOT! 356 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:51,611 OKAY. SO, WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF THE MOVIE? 357 00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:55,948 EH, I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU. 358 00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:58,743 OH, COME ON. 359 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,621 OKAY, UM... 360 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,164 DIANE KEATON'S NIPPLES. 361 00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:07,418 [LAUGHING] 362 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:10,213 [CAR HORN HONKS] 363 00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,968 OKAY. PAY ME. 364 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,970 LEO, I GOTTA HELP THE CUSTOMER, MAN. 365 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:19,806 I THINK HE'S GONNA DRIVE AWAY. 366 00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,140 EH, LET HIM GO. 367 00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:24,018 I DON'T NEED HIS STINKIN' PHOTO MONEY. 368 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,522 I'M A DOCTOR. 369 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,941 OKAY, MAN, YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S IT. 370 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,818 THIS GAME IS OVER, MAN. 371 00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:35,321 THIS IS NOT LIFE. THIS IS LIFE! 372 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,449 YEAH, BUT THIS LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER 373 00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:42,161 THAN THIS LIFE, MAN. 374 00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:46,082 IN THE... IN THE GAME, I GOT KIDS, MAN. 375 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,751 IN REAL LIFE, MY KIDS SPLIT ON ME. 376 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:52,380 REALLY, MAN? YEAH. 377 00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:56,551 MY PARENTS SPLIT ON ME. 378 00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,429 OH, WOW. NOW WE FOUND EACH OTHER. 379 00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:03,307 HEY, DO YOU WANNA BE MY FATHER? 380 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,400 SURE. 381 00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:15,903 OKAY. GO AHEAD. SPIN, DAD. 382 00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:24,453 I GOT A 10. 383 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:30,418 WELL, MAYBE MAH-JONGG IS A TYPE OF FOOD. 384 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:31,836 OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU COULD BE RIGHT. 385 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,204 IT'S PROBABLY CHINESE NOODLES. 386 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,590 YES. 387 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,634 HEY, YOU WANNA GO SEE CLOSE ENCOUNTERS SOMETIME? 388 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:41,053 YEAH. I'D LOVE TO. 389 00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:43,598 VERY COOL. GOOD NIGHT, MOM. 390 00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:55,443 WHAT DID HE DO? 391 00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:58,696 I SWEAR I'LL KICK HIS ASS. 392 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:05,995 NO. HE WAS JUST... HE WAS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL. 393 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,957 OH. AHEM. 394 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:17,632 OKAY. 395 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,185 IS SOMETHING WRONG? 396 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,770 NO. WHY? 397 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:35,650 I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST YOU... YOU SEEM VERY REMOVED. 398 00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,277 WELL, NO. I'M FINE. 399 00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,279 ARE YOU SURE? 400 00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,865 UH-HUH. 401 00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:46,244 I... YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT'S ME, BUT Y-Y-YOU DO, 402 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:49,789 YOU SEEM VERY REMOVED. 403 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,751 ERIC, HAVE YOU SEEN MY GEOMETRY BOOK? 404 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,127 'CAUSE WHILE THE TWO OF YOU ARE DOING THAT, 405 00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:56,837 I THINK I'M GONNA DO SOME HOMEWORK. 406 00:20:57,005 --> 00:21:00,758 SEE? THIS IS WHAT I CALL BEING REMOVED. 407 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,796 DONNA, WHEN WE'RE MAKING OUT, YOU'RE NOT THINKING ABOUT, 408 00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:11,352 LIKE... GEOMETRY AND STUFF, ARE YOU? 409 00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:13,729 NEVER. 410 00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:17,108 UNLESS I HAVE A TEST THE NEXT DAY. 411 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:19,068 OKAY. 412 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:20,152 YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'RE JUST THE SWEETEST 413 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,404 THING IN THE WORLD 414 00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:23,531 TO GO OUT WITH YOUR MOM. 415 00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,533 THANK YOU. 416 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:29,370 SO, DID MOMMY BUY YOU NEW UNDERPANTS? 417 00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,372 OKAY, GET OFF ME. 418 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:32,820 DID MOMMY BUY YOU NEW UNDERPANTS? 419 00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:34,125 OOH, LET ME SEE THE UNDERPANTS. 420 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,293 GET OFF ME. 421 00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:37,086 LET ME SEE THE UNDERPANTS. 422 00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:39,672 B-3. 423 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:43,217 HIT. DAMN! YOU SANK MY BATTLESHIP! 424 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,012 YOU KNOW, A WELL-MAINTAINED FLEET 425 00:21:46,179 --> 00:21:48,806 IS THE BACKBONE OF ANY MILITARY STRUCTURE, 426 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,534 AND WITH YOUR FLOATING ARSENAL DEPLETED, 427 00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:52,143 YOUR TROOPS ARE LIKELY TO SUFFER SOME 428 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:55,396 SERIOUS COLLATERAL DAMAGE. 429 00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:58,065 HUH. 430 00:21:58,233 --> 00:22:00,609 WOW. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN? 431 00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:02,820 I THINK I MIGHT HAVE BEEN IN THE NAVY. 432 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:06,365 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY