1 00:00:00,834 --> 00:00:03,961 [MUSIC] 2 00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:05,295 HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE 3 00:00:05,463 --> 00:00:06,743 TO GET TO THE TOOTSIE ROLL CENTER 4 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,967 OF A TOOTSIE POP? 5 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:12,261 ONE... 6 00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:16,557 TWO! 7 00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,892 AH, SCREW IT. 8 00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:21,520 OW, MY TOOTH. 9 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:24,481 WHY DID I BITE? 10 00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:27,651 ERIC, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO WEAR YOUR ASS FOR A HAT, 11 00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:31,405 YOU'LL GET UP HERE, PRONTO. 12 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:32,823 YOU'D BETTER GO. YOU KNOW HOW 13 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,784 THAT ASS-HAT SCREWS UP YOUR HAIR. 14 00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:41,248 POOR FORMAN, HUH? WORKING FOR RED LIKE THAT? 15 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,833 I WOULDN'T WISH THAT ON MY ENEMIES. 16 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,918 I WOULD. 17 00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:48,380 THOSE SUCKERS MUST PAY. 18 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,634 HEY, JACKIE. 19 00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:54,219 MICHAEL, WHY DON'T YOU 20 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:55,907 SAVE THE SWEET STUFF FOR THE NEXT IDIOT 21 00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:58,015 WHO'S DUMB ENOUGH TO DATE YOU? 22 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:01,852 YOU KNOW, JACKIE... 23 00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:06,315 IF YOU'RE IN THE MARKET FOR A NEW LOVER... 24 00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:10,986 THEY SAY ONCE YOU GO FEZ, YOU NEVER GO BACK. 25 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:19,495 IN MY LANGUAGE, THAT RHYMES. 26 00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:24,666 OKAY. UH, WHERE'S DONNA? 27 00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:27,753 SHE'S UPSTAIRS WITH FORMAN. 28 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,089 AND DON'T FOLLOW ME, MICHAEL. 29 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:32,549 WE'VE BROKEN UP, AND I MEAN IT! 30 00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,384 OH, I WASN'T. 31 00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:37,429 IT'S A GOOD THING WE'RE BROKEN UP, BECAUSE... 32 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:40,516 DAMN IT. I MISS HER. 33 00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,810 JEEZ, MAN. WHO WOULDN'T? 34 00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:44,561 SPARE ME THE SARCASM, HYDE. 35 00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:45,979 I AM REALLY HURTING HERE, 36 00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,481 AND I'M TOTALLY LONELY. 37 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,316 MAN, I'VE SEEN PEOPLE GUT-SHOT 38 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:52,486 WHO COMPLAIN LESS THAN YOU. 39 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,363 OKAY, SO WHAT DO YOU MISS ABOUT HER? 40 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:56,698 ALL SHE EVER DID WAS CALL YOU NAMES. 41 00:01:56,866 --> 00:02:00,077 HEY, I CAN DO THAT FOR YOU. 42 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,664 YOU IDIOT. SEE? 43 00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,124 OH. THANKS, FEZ. 44 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:08,168 NO PROBLEM, FART-FACE. 45 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:14,716 ♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪ 46 00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:18,220 ♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪ 47 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,849 ♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪ 48 00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:25,269 ♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪ 49 00:02:25,436 --> 00:02:29,314 ♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪ 50 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:32,901 ♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪ 51 00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:37,281 ♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪ ♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪ 52 00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:39,658 HELLO, WISCONSIN! 53 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:50,002 [WHISTLING] 54 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:56,008 DO YOU KNOW THE GREAT THING ABOUT WHISTLING? 55 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,886 YOU CAN STOP WHISTLING. 56 00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,596 SORRY. 57 00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,306 ERIC? BEND YOUR KNEES, 58 00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:03,765 AND LIFT WITH YOUR LEGS, 59 00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,184 OR ELSE, I'M GONNA... 60 00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:06,791 KICK MY ASS, PUT YOUR FOOT IN MY ASS, 61 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,606 MAKE MY ASS A HAT. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 62 00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:14,526 JEEZ, AND I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE LISTENING. 63 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:15,974 OH, AND I NEED YOU TO RE-STICKER 64 00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,946 THOSE CLOCK RADIOS. THEY'RE ON SALE. 65 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:19,406 YEAH, I SAW THE FLYER. 66 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,949 I ALREADY TOOK CARE OF IT. 67 00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:23,493 REALLY? WELL... 68 00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:26,371 WAY TO SHOW INITIATIVE. 69 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,292 WAY TO SHOW INITIATIVE? 70 00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:33,629 WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? 71 00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:36,757 NOTHING. I THINK YOU DID A GOOD JOB. 72 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:40,802 OKAY, BUT I'M WATCHING YOU. 73 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:44,973 HEY, GUYS. SORRY I'M LATE, RED. 74 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,309 MY, UH, DOG GOT HIT BY A CAR. 75 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,853 I HAD TO RUSH HIM TO THE VET. 76 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,355 EARL. 77 00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:54,608 YOUR DOG GOT HIT ON TUESDAY, TOO. 78 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:57,736 HOW DUMB IS THAT DOG? 79 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,364 OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY, RED. 80 00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:01,907 I KNOW YOU GAVE ME A BREAK 81 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,742 'CAUSE WE WORKED AT THE PLANT TOGETHER, 82 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,870 AND I APPRECIATE IT. I SWEAR IT'S THE LAST TIME. 83 00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,581 EARL, WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE ERIC? 84 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,376 I MEAN, HE'S... HE'S 18, AND HE'S... 85 00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:14,336 DAD, I'M, UH, I'M 17. 86 00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:17,673 ERIC. I'M TALKING HERE. 87 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,092 AND HE'S ALREADY GOT A BETTER WORK ETHIC THAN YOU. 88 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,302 OH, NO DOUBT THERE, RED. 89 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:23,804 UH, YOU CAN TELL HE'S YOUR SON. 90 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,555 HE'S A SUPER, UH... 91 00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:27,266 EARL. MMM? 92 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:28,809 LET'S JUST GO TO WORK, OKAY? 93 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,686 SURE. RIGHT AFTER A CUP OF JOE. 94 00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:33,772 I'M USELESS WITHOUT MY COFFEE. 95 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,151 WOW. 96 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:40,988 HE MUST NOT HAVE HAD COFFEE IN YEARS, HUH? 97 00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:42,656 [LAUGHS] 98 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,075 THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY. 99 00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:49,037 OKAY, WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? 100 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,170 HEY, KELSO. HOW'S IT GOING? 101 00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:58,880 HOW'S IT GOING? GREAT. 102 00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,648 JUST 'CAUSE A GUY SHOOTS HOOPS BY HIMSELF 103 00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:01,925 DOESN'T MEAN HE'S LONELY. 104 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,803 NO, FAR FROM IT. 105 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,263 OKAY, THAT'S GOOD. 106 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,765 HEY, DONNA? UM... 107 00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:11,435 YOU KNOW, ALL THIS TALK ABOUT BEING LONELY 108 00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:15,897 KIND OF REMINDS ME OF ME, YOU KNOW? 109 00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:20,485 KELSO, ARE YOU GONNA GET ALL EMOTIONAL? 110 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,029 'CAUSE JUST 'CAUSE I'M A GIRL 111 00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:25,741 DOESN'T MEAN I WON'T TOTALLY MAKE FUN OF YOU. 112 00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:27,659 FAIR ENOUGH. OKAY. 113 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:30,370 I KNOW I KEEP THINGS BOTTLED UP, 114 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:34,958 BUT, YOU KNOW, UNDERNEATH THIS COOL EXTERIOR, 115 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:38,170 THERE'S A REALLY SAD HUMAN BEING. 116 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,422 MY GOD. THIS IS ABOUT JACKIE. 117 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:44,009 YES. ALL RIGHT. WHAT GAVE IT AWAY? 118 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,635 THE FACT THAT IT'S ALL YOU EVER TALK ABOUT, 119 00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:48,638 YOU STUPID DILLHOLE. 120 00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:52,809 LOOK, KELSO. YOU'VE GOT TO GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD. 121 00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:55,270 JACKIE IS NOT COMING BACK TO YOU. 122 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,897 WHY? 123 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,858 BECAUSE YOU SLEPT WITH SOMEONE ELSE! 124 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:03,236 YEAH, LIKE, A MONTH AGO. GOD! 125 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:11,703 I JUST REALIZED JACKIE'S SHORT. 126 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,747 AND I DON'T LIKE SHORT PEOPLE. 127 00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:15,540 THEY'RE CREEPY, YOU KNOW? 128 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:18,668 ALWAYS SNEAKING UP ON YOU. 129 00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:22,422 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I WAS WITH HER. 130 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:27,010 MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S A TINY LITTLE WHORE. 131 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,179 OH. I MEANT TO HURT YOU, 132 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:32,641 BUT I HURT MYSELF BECAUSE I LOVE HER. 133 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,519 HEY, GUYS. I REALLY CRACKED RED UP TODAY, 134 00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:39,689 AND NOT BY TRIPPING OR GETTING WET OR VOMITING. 135 00:06:39,857 --> 00:06:42,234 DID YOU BUMP YOUR HEAD? 136 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,611 THAT'S GOOD STUFF. 137 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:48,824 NO, I JUST MADE A JOKE, AND HE JUST GOT IT. 138 00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:51,284 I MEAN, IT WORKED. WE'RE LIKE, JUST TWO GUYS 139 00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:52,828 BROUGHT TOGETHER BY THE COMMON GOAL 140 00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:57,249 OF SLASHING PRICES ON ALL YOUR HOUSEHOLD NEEDS. 141 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,709 PLUS, I MEAN, IT IS SO GREAT 142 00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:02,921 TO SEE HIM CHEW OUT OTHER PEOPLE. 143 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,840 YEAH, FORMAN. NOW YOU KNOW 144 00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:07,801 HOW WE FEEL WHEN HE YELLS AT YOU. 145 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:10,262 YEAH. IT REALLY IS HILARIOUS, MAN. 146 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:14,057 YOU GET ALL BUG-EYED AND STUTTERY. 147 00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:18,186 FELLAS... 148 00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:19,813 I'VE BEEN THINKING. 149 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:22,441 THERE'S A LOT OF LADIES OUT THERE, RIGHT? 150 00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:25,735 NOW, I HAVEN'T SEEN NEARLY ENOUGH OF THEM NAKED. 151 00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:28,572 SOMETIMES, I AM LOOKING AT NAKED LADIES, 152 00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:31,324 AND THEN I GET EXHAUSTED. 153 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,535 AND THEN, I GET A SECOND WIND, 154 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,455 AND THEN, I'M READY FOR MORE NAKED LADIES. 155 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:39,291 IT'S LIKE, AT WORK, THERE'S THIS GUY EARL, 156 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,959 AND HE'S A REAL SCREW-UP, RIGHT? 157 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,211 SO, RED GETS PRETTY P-O'd, 158 00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:47,382 BUT THAT DEFLECTS ALL OF RED'S ANGER FROM ME. 159 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,677 SO, I MEAN, EARL'S LIKE... 160 00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:54,222 A DUMB-ASS LIGHTNING ROD. 161 00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:57,017 I HEAR THAT, MAN. YEAH. 162 00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,686 I'LL ONLY WORK WITH THE BARELY COMPETENT. 163 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:03,023 IT TAKES THE STRESS OUT OF SLACKING OFF. 164 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:07,861 MAN, IT FEELS GREAT TO BE FREE OF THAT MIDGET. 165 00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:11,323 YEAH, UH... IT'S LIKE THE WORLD IS MY OYSTER, 166 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,201 AND I'M READY TO SHUCK IT. 167 00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:16,411 NOTHING BUT HOT NEW LADIES FROM HERE ON IN. 168 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:17,871 I WANT TO BE BOLDLY GOING 169 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,290 WHERE NO MAN'S GONE BEFORE. 170 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:21,958 [DOORBELL RINGS] 171 00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:24,419 HELLO, MRS. FORMAN. I'M HERE TO PICK UP LAURIE. 172 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,088 [LAUGHS] 173 00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:28,465 NO, NO, NO. 174 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,008 YOU MEAN ERIC. 175 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,802 NO, UH, LAURIE. YOUR OTHER KID. 176 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:36,515 BUT WHY? 177 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,308 YOU'RE DATING LAURIE? 178 00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:39,976 THAT'S NOT DIFFERENT, MAN. 179 00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:44,022 YOU'RE BOLDLY GOING WHERE EVERY MAN'S GONE BEFORE. 180 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,193 STEVEN, IT IS NOT NICE 181 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,528 TO BE SO... 182 00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,030 TRUTHFUL. 183 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,616 HI, KELSO. 184 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,993 DID YOU BUY ME THOSE? 185 00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:59,246 YEAH, JUST LIKE YOU TOLD ME. 186 00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:01,623 NO. I TOLD YOU ROSES. 187 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,543 COME ON, DOOFUS. 188 00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:09,881 NO OFFENSE, MRS. FORMAN, BUT... 189 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:13,760 THOSE TWO COULD MAKE THE DUMBEST BABIES EVER. 190 00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:17,055 [LAUGHS] 191 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:21,726 THAT'S NOT FUNNY. 192 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,860 [CLEARS THROAT] SPEAKING OF WORK. 193 00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:32,228 WE WEREN'T TALKING ABOUT WORK. 194 00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,155 WORK. RIGHT. 195 00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:35,532 DAD AND I REALLY PUT IN 196 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,284 SOME HARD HOURS TODAY. DIDN'T WE, POP? 197 00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:40,120 YEP. ERIC'S REALLY BUSTING HIS HUMP DOWN THERE. 198 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,454 WELL, I AM JUST SO HAPPY 199 00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:44,666 MY TWO FELLAS WORK SO WELL TOGETHER. [LAUGHS] 200 00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:46,835 HEY, HOW'S EARL DOING? 201 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,795 OH, HE'S OKAY. BUT HIS DAMN DOG 202 00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,923 CAN'T GO A DAY WITHOUT GETTING HIT. 203 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,398 AT LEAST I'VE GOT ONE GOOD MAN DOWN THERE. 204 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,304 RIGHT BACK AT YOU, BIG GUY. 205 00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:59,389 WELL, THAT EARL'S ALWAYS BEEN A CHARACTER. 206 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,641 YEAH, LIKE TODAY, HE WAS LATE, 207 00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,393 AND DAD SAID, GET TO WORK, 208 00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,687 AND HE SAID, SORRY, RED, 209 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,314 "I'M USELESS WITHOUT MY COFFEE." 210 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:09,357 AND THEN, I SAID... 211 00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:12,110 HE MUST NOT HAVE HAD COFFEE IN YEARS. RIGHT? 212 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,695 YEAH. [CHUCKLES] 213 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,614 [LAUGHS] 214 00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,240 WELL, THAT'S CUTE. 215 00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,743 YEAH, AND THAT'S NOT EVEN MY BEST EARL JOKE. 216 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,245 OKAY, READY? KNOCK-KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? 217 00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,831 WELL, IT'S NOT EARL, 'CAUSE HE'S LATE. 218 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:29,294 YEAH, I'M GUESSING EARL'S NOT SHORT FOR EARLY. 219 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,837 THAT'S A GOOD ONE, RED. 220 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,255 I GOT ONE. UM... 221 00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:33,943 THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL FROM NANTUCKET... 222 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,968 OKAY, OKAY. LET'S JUST ALL EAT. 223 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,188 HEY, UH, LAURIE? 224 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,690 YEAH, COULD YOU, UH... 225 00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:53,735 GET OUT! 226 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,988 THANKS. 227 00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:00,325 COME ON, KELSO. COME UP TO MY ROOM. 228 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,495 I NEED YOU TO, UM, HELP ME MOVE MY BOOKCASE. 229 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,460 THAT MEANS WE'RE GONNA HAVE SEX. 230 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,005 YEAH, THANKS FOR CRACKING THAT CODE. 231 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,466 HEY, MAN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 232 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,218 THEY'RE GOING UP TO HAVE SEX. 233 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,804 GET THE WAX OUT OF YOUR EARS. 234 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,641 MAN, YOU CAN'T BRING MY SISTER 235 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,017 DOWN TO THE BASEMENT. 236 00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,103 THIS IS OUR FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE. 237 00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:31,564 WELL, I'M SORRY, BUT SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND, AND I LOVE HER. 238 00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:34,275 NO, YOU DON'T. 239 00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:36,903 WELL, I LIKE HER. 240 00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:40,323 NO, YOU DON'T. 241 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,826 I THINK SHE IS OKAY, 242 00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:47,247 AND THE LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND OKAY IS PRETTY FINE. 243 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,255 BUT THE LINE BETWEEN DOING IT AND NOT DOING IT, 244 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:53,086 THAT'S NOT FINE AT ALL. 245 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,922 JUST LIKE THE LINE BETWEEN MORON AND IDIOT? 246 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:59,008 EXACTLY. YOU KNOW, IT TOOK ME MONTHS 247 00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:00,593 TO GET JACKIE IN THE SACK. 248 00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:02,554 WELL, LAURIE, SHE ALREADY LETS ME DO IT, 249 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:03,888 AND PLUS, I'M OVER HERE 250 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:05,306 ALL THE TIME, ANYWAY, 251 00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:10,729 SO THERE'S LIKE, THE CONVENIENCE FACTOR. 252 00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:16,401 KELSO, MY BOOKCASE ISN'T GOING TO MOVE ITSELF. 253 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,948 OR MAYBE IT WILL. 254 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,786 DAMN, I GOTTA GO. 255 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,959 DUMBEST BABIES EVER. 256 00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:41,968 JACKIE? IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU SO HAPPY. 257 00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:46,306 AND STRONG. AND OVER KELSO. 258 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:49,768 YOU'RE LIKE A ROCK. YOU'RE LIKE A TINY LITTLE ROCK. 259 00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:53,438 DONNA, ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME BAD NEWS, 260 00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,941 OR ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF MY BUTT? 261 00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,069 NO, YOUR BUTT'S FINE. 262 00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:01,321 FINE? 263 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:06,159 GLORIOUS. WHATEVER. LOOK. 264 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,119 KELSO'S DATING LAURIE. 265 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,829 [GASPS] 266 00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:12,457 I DON'T CARE. 267 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,501 OH, COME ON. HOW CAN YOU 268 00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:15,960 STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM? 269 00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,837 DONNA, I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM. 270 00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:21,591 I JUST HATE THAT BITCH FOR MAKING HIM HAPPY. 271 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,176 OH, BELIEVE ME. SHE WILL MAKE HIM 272 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,637 MORE MISERABLE THAN YOU EVER DID. 273 00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,973 OH, DONNA. THANK YOU. 274 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:33,228 I'M GONNA PRAY TO GOD THAT YOU'RE RIGHT. 275 00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:43,404 LAURIE, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU. 276 00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:48,493 KELSO, WE GOTTA CONFAB, MAN. 277 00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:52,288 OKAY. 278 00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:53,736 TOO MANY TIMES I HAVE SAT IDLY BY 279 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,113 AND WATCHED YOU MAKE BAD CHOICES. 280 00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:57,669 I'VE SEEN YOU SCREW UP AN AWFUL LOT. 281 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:02,173 AND SURE, I'VE ENJOYED IT. 282 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,217 Both: BUT NOW, YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR. 283 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,803 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT? 284 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,055 DUH. I'M NOT AN IDIOT. 285 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:12,350 UH-UH. 286 00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:17,689 MICHAEL HAS SOME NICE QUALITIES, BUT... 287 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,941 LAURIE'S GOT GREAT LEGS... 288 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:23,403 AND A FINE RACK, BUT... 289 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,154 HE'S JUST A BOY. 290 00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:28,700 SHE'S A MAJOR SKANKOID. 291 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:29,993 AND YOU DON'T KNOW 292 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,870 WHERE A BOY LIKE THAT WILL END UP. 293 00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:33,162 AND YOU DON'T KNOW 294 00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,874 WHERE A GIRL LIKE THAT HAS BEEN. 295 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,917 NOW, I KNOW. I KNOW YOU WANT A BOYFRIEND 296 00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:42,547 WHO'S WEAK AND EASILY MANIPULATED. 297 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,090 NOW, I KNOW YOU'RE WEAK 298 00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:46,718 AND EASILY MANIPULATED. 299 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:47,886 BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO LEARN 300 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:49,721 TO THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE. 301 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:54,684 BUT YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN TO THINK. 302 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,311 AND... 303 00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:58,646 Both: AND MAKE SMART CHOICES. 304 00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:00,064 'CAUSE WHAT'S CONVENIENT 305 00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:01,733 ISN'T ALWAYS WHAT'S BEST. 306 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,568 IF IT WERE, I'D JUST 307 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:07,614 THROW ON A MUUMUU AND EAT OUT OF A CAN. 308 00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:10,450 IF IT WERE, THIS FROZEN PIZZA 309 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:13,995 WOULDN'T TASTE LIKE MONKEY BUTT. 310 00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,123 OKAY. ARE YOU DONE 311 00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,667 WITH THIS LITTLE LECTURE? 312 00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:22,879 OKAY. YOU DONE WITH THAT PIZZA? 313 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,257 Both: YES. 314 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:29,302 AND I THINK I'VE MADE MY POINT. 315 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,598 [THINKING] OH, GOD. 316 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,475 I'VE GOT TO GET MY OWN PLACE. 317 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:36,851 [THINKING] THIS DOESN'T TASTE 318 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:39,687 LIKE MONKEY BUTT. 319 00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:42,398 OH, JEEZ, RED. I'M SORRY I'M LATE 320 00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:44,400 FOR OUR LITTLE MEETING. 321 00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:46,361 MY, UH, DOG GOT... 322 00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:49,155 UH, CAR GOT HIT BY A, UH... 323 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:53,368 CAR. ACCIDENT. THAT'S THE WORD. 324 00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,287 ERIC? TAKE YOUR BREAK ANYWHERE BUT HERE. 325 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,044 EARL... 326 00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,963 YOU'RE FIRED. 327 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:09,258 WHAT? WHAT DID I DO? 328 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,594 WHAT DID YOU DO?! 329 00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,972 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU DID. 330 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:19,018 [ANGRY GIBBERISH] 331 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,332 AND ANOTHER THING. 332 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:45,503 [ANGRY GIBBERISH] 333 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:51,050 HI. HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 334 00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:53,302 I HAD TO LET EARL GO. 335 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,179 LET EARL GO? 336 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:58,474 YOU YELLED AT HIM UNTIL HE CRIED. 337 00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,978 HEY. WHAT KIND OF A MAN CRIES 338 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,772 AFTER ONLY 15 MINUTES OF YELLING? 339 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,358 WELL, I'M SORRY. I DON'T LIKE 340 00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:08,943 THE WAY YOU HANDLED EARL. 341 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,446 DAD, HE WAS YOUR FRIEND. 342 00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:13,656 ERIC, HUSH, HUSH, HUSH, HUSH. 343 00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:18,453 ERIC, WORK IS WORK. 344 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:21,039 YOU DON'T SHOW UP LATE, YOU DON'T MAKE EXCUSES, 345 00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,291 AND YOU DON'T NOT WORK. 346 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:26,502 IF IT WASN'T WORK, THEY WOULDN'T CALL IT WORK. 347 00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:31,591 THEY'D CALL IT SUPER-WONDERFUL, CRAZY-FUN TIME. 348 00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:34,302 OR SKIPPITY-DOO. 349 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,804 OH, JEEZ. WHY THE HELL AM I EVEN TALKING TO YOU? 350 00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:40,933 OH, ERIC. 351 00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:44,103 WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO AND UPSET YOUR FATHER? 352 00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:46,022 I CAN'T HAVE MY OWN OPINION 353 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,648 WITHOUT HIM TEARING MY HEAD OFF? 354 00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:49,609 NO. 355 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,862 AND I THINK AT YOUR AGE, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW. 356 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:56,074 WELL, NO, MOM, NO. UH-UH. 357 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,159 MAN, WE HAD SUCH A GOOD THING GOING AT WORK, 358 00:17:58,327 --> 00:17:59,827 AND HE JUST WRECKED THAT. 359 00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:01,621 AND BY THE WAY, WITHOUT EARL, 360 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:06,250 I'M BACK TO DUMB-ASS. 361 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:10,046 HE'S JUST... HE'S JUST MEAN. 362 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,965 OH, YOU SHUT YOUR PORKY MOUTH, MISTER. 363 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,592 WELL THEN, IT JUST STINKS 364 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,135 BECAUSE, YOU KNOW WHAT? 365 00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:17,303 THIS IS THE FIRST TIME 366 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:21,057 WE WERE EVER LIKE, YOU KNOW, COOL WITH EACH OTHER. 367 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,017 MAN, WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE 368 00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,435 SUCH A HARD-ASS ALL THE TIME? 369 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,062 OH, COME ON, ERIC. 370 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,189 THAT'S HOW HE EXPRESSES HIMSELF. 371 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:31,484 THAT'S HOW HE'S ALWAYS EXPRESSED HIMSELF. 372 00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:35,488 YOUR FATHER YELLS AT YOU BECAUSE HE CARES. 373 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,491 YEAH, RIGHT. WELL, IF THAT'S TRUE, THEN... 374 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,034 THEN... 375 00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,327 STAND UP STRAIGHT. 376 00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:42,870 YOU'RE A DUMB-ASS. 377 00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:45,081 YOU CALL THIS A REPORT CARD? 378 00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:49,335 HANDS ABOVE THE COVERS. 379 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,213 HUH. 380 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:55,216 I GUESS HE REALLY, REALLY CARES. 381 00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,009 AND... 382 00:18:57,177 --> 00:19:00,429 IF NOT, YOU'RE... YOU'RE MOVING OUT SOON. 383 00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:13,776 SO. YOU KNOW WHO I HATE? 384 00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:16,612 LAURIE. 385 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,406 OH, JACKIE. I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET 386 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,950 AND... AND IN PAIN, 387 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:22,368 BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TALK 388 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:25,371 DURING HOLLYWOOD SQUARES, ARE YOU? 389 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,290 NO, I MEAN, I REALLY DO HATE HER. 390 00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:29,417 NO OFFENSE, ERIC, BUT YOUR SISTER... 391 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,752 SHE'S A SLUT. 392 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,337 OH, MY GOD. 393 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,548 JACKIE, NOT SINCE THE SMOKY VS. BANDIT DEBATE 394 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,718 HAVE YOU AND I SO BEEN ON THE SAME PAGE. 395 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,344 YEAH, I THINK WE'RE ALL ON BOARD. 396 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:41,721 GOD, THIS IS SO GREAT. 397 00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:46,976 YOU GUYS ALL HATE LAURIE AND LOVE ME. 398 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:53,482 YEAH, WE ALL HATE LAURIE. 399 00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:58,029 SHH. OH, GREAT. 400 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,616 LAMBCHOP HAD A JOKE, AND I MISSED IT. 401 00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:06,454 HEY, GUYS. 402 00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:09,040 OH, HI, MICHAEL. 403 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:12,210 KELSO, AS YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND, 404 00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:13,502 I'M REALLY NOT COMFORTABLE 405 00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:15,046 WITH YOUR OLD GIRLFRIEND 406 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,381 HANGING OUT DOWN HERE. 407 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,759 OKAY. 408 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,802 UH, HEY, JACKIE, DO YOU MIND? 409 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:24,931 NO. NO, I DON'T MIND IF YOU LEAVE. 410 00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:30,478 SHE'S NOT LEAVING. 411 00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:33,814 WELL, I'M NOT, EITHER. 412 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:36,442 SHE'S NOT, EITHER. 413 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:43,699 FINE. 414 00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,409 HEY! THIS IS MY HOUSE. 415 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,870 SO WHAT? ERIC WANTS ME HERE. 416 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,622 DON'T YOU, ERIC? 417 00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:53,417 WHY, YES, I DO. 418 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,879 YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK. 419 00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:58,756 REALLY? 'CAUSE YOU... 420 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,926 SHOULD STOP SPENDING SO MUCH TIME ON YOURS. 421 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:06,180 OHH. BURN! 422 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,891 [LAUGHS] 423 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,436 HEY, I'M SORRY. I JUST GOT SWEPT AWAY 424 00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:15,064 BY THE SUPERGOOD BURN. 425 00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:16,565 SHUT UP! 426 00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:18,818 AAH... AAH... AAH. 427 00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,321 JACKIE? 428 00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:23,990 THAT WAS AN EXCELLENT BURN. 429 00:21:24,157 --> 00:21:25,616 THANK YOU, FEZ. 430 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:28,911 NOW, PLEASE. SIT NEXT TO FEZ. 431 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,250 MOVE IT. 432 00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:41,424 WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING 433 00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:42,967 IN THE SHOWER SO LONG? 434 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,468 YOU KNOW IT WASTES WATER, 435 00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:45,886 AND IT MIGHT MAKE ME LATE. 436 00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:47,555 IN FACT, I AM DEFINITELY 437 00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:50,433 NOT GONNA BE THE FIRST PERSON THERE. 438 00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,227 YOU KNOW HOW THAT MAKES ME LOOK? 439 00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:57,315 DAMN IT. YOU'VE GOT TO GROW UP AND LEARN SOME RESPONSIBILITY. 440 00:21:57,482 --> 00:21:59,442 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 441 00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:02,737 I LOVE YOU, TOO, DAD. 442 00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:05,990 WHAT? STOP BEING WEIRD. 443 00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:08,784 THANKS.