1 00:00:02,295 --> 00:00:04,380 HOWARD: Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 2 00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:13,764 Hello. 3 00:00:14,599 --> 00:00:16,267 I'm looking for a Howard Wolowitz. 4 00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,269 May I ask what this is about? 5 00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:19,687 - No, you may not. - Oh. 6 00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,731 Very well. 7 00:00:24,442 --> 00:00:26,903 Hi, Colonel Williams. How can I help you? 8 00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,823 Okay, sure, I can meet with you on Thursday. 9 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:35,620 Caltech is fine. Yeah, and may I ask what this is about? 10 00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:38,039 I may not? 11 00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:40,291 That's what he said to me. 12 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:44,295 Look at this. 13 00:00:44,629 --> 00:00:46,297 Elon Musk has a theory 14 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:47,632 that we're all just characters 15 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,509 in some advanced civilization's video game. 16 00:00:50,927 --> 00:00:52,720 So, some alien kid spent his money 17 00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:55,431 on the asthma and glasses upgrade for me? 18 00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:00,645 Well, he doesn't say it's a good game. 19 00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:04,482 - All right, we got a problem. - What's up? 20 00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:07,068 The Air Force contacted me about our quantum gyroscope. 21 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:08,569 - They wanna have a meeting. - Really? 22 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,655 Yeah, this military guy showed up at Howard's door. 23 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,156 He was terrifying. 24 00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:13,491 Oh, what did he say? 25 00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:15,493 He gave me his business card and asked me to 26 00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,745 please pass it along to Howard. 27 00:01:19,038 --> 00:01:21,290 (STAMMERS) That doesn't sound terrifying. 28 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,668 To a white guy born here, no. 29 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,339 To a brown guy whose name has a lot of syllables in it, 30 00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:29,840 terrifying. 31 00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:34,178 You realize if the military declares our research classified, 32 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,471 they can take the whole thing away from us. 33 00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:38,224 Yeah, and if that happens, we'll never be able to sell it commercially. 34 00:01:38,391 --> 00:01:39,475 There goes our big payday. 35 00:01:39,642 --> 00:01:41,811 I was counting on that money. I need to make as much as my wife 36 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:44,146 so I don't have to try so hard in bed. 37 00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:46,857 - You do that, too? -(SCOFFS) Yeah. 38 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,901 How do you think I stay this thin? 39 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:52,363 Gentlemen, I think we are losing sight of the real issue. 40 00:01:52,697 --> 00:01:53,906 We are on the precipice 41 00:01:54,073 --> 00:01:55,616 of becoming faceless cogs 42 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,868 in the military-industrial complex. 43 00:01:58,202 --> 00:01:59,537 Isn't that exciting? 44 00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:02,581 - Well, you're kidding, right? - Not at all. 45 00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:04,000 Look, look... In Star Wars, 46 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:07,044 when the stormtroopers would march in perfect formation, 47 00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:08,337 harassing civilians, 48 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,881 didn't you ever think, "Hey, that could be me"? 49 00:02:12,091 --> 00:02:14,677 Sheldon, we could be contributing to a weapons system 50 00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:18,180 that oppresses mankind for the next 1,000 years. 51 00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:20,391 Okay, Howard's on board. What do you think, Leonard? 52 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:24,228 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 53 00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:49,462 I'm worried about Howard. 54 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:51,130 Ever since that guy from the Air Force showed up, 55 00:02:51,297 --> 00:02:52,631 he's been a nervous wreck. 56 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:54,592 All right, we work at a giant pharmaceutical company. 57 00:02:54,759 --> 00:02:56,177 Get him some anti-anxiety meds. 58 00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:58,179 He won't take any pills that aren't chewable 59 00:02:58,346 --> 00:03:00,056 and shaped like a Flintstone. 60 00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:02,600 You know, when Leonard's feeling anxious, 61 00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:04,060 I make him take a long walk. 62 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,437 - Does that help? - Uh, for a while, 63 00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:08,272 then he comes back. 64 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:11,442 - I don't believe this. - What's wrong? 65 00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:15,321 This guy from the office just congratulated me on being pregnant. 66 00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:17,323 You did already know, right? 67 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:20,659 (SCOFFS) No one at the office did. 68 00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:23,287 - Did you tell anyone? - No, you told me not to. 69 00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,915 I bet it was Barbara Chen in retrovirus. 70 00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:28,084 She might've heard me throwing up one morning. 71 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,418 Ever since she got that hearing aid, 72 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,003 she thinks she's so great. 73 00:03:33,506 --> 00:03:35,132 Why don't you want anyone to know? 74 00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,426 Because, I'm up for a major immunotherapy study 75 00:03:37,635 --> 00:03:40,012 and if they find out I'm pregnant, they might give it to someone else. 76 00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:41,514 Would they really do that? 77 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,724 I know they would. They did it to Barbara Chen last year 78 00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,351 when I told everyone she was pregnant. 79 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,606 Wait till I Snapchat 80 00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:54,068 that my friends might be working on a top secret government project. 81 00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:58,155 Are you crazy? You can't put that on Snapchat. 82 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:01,826 Fine, I'll put it on Facebook like a caveman. 83 00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:06,247 You know, maybe before our meeting, 84 00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,456 we should talk to a lawyer. 85 00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:08,666 That's not a bad idea. 86 00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:10,835 Yeah, you must have someone in your family that's a lawyer. 87 00:04:11,544 --> 00:04:13,003 Why? Because I'm Jewish? 88 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,755 That's like me saying, "Hey, you're Indian. 89 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,174 "Doesn't your cousin work in a call center?" 90 00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:21,220 My cousin does work in a call center. 91 00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:25,516 And my cousin's a lawyer. 92 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,645 We don't need Howard's cousin. 93 00:04:29,854 --> 00:04:31,188 We have me. 94 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,442 You're not a lawyer, Sheldon, you're just a know-it-all. 95 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:35,860 I am not a know-it-all. 96 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:38,279 I'm a person who knows lots of things 97 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:41,031 and likes to correct other people when they're wrong. 98 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,701 That's the definition of being a know-it-all. 99 00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,745 Or in German, a Besserwisser. 100 00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,376 How did you think you were gonna hide your pregnancy? 101 00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:55,463 I had a plan. I kept leaving DOVEBAR wrappers around 102 00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:57,047 to explain any weight gain. 103 00:04:58,674 --> 00:05:00,926 Where did you get empty DOVEBAR wrappers? 104 00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:03,137 From all the DOVEBARs I ate. 105 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:05,097 I'm pregnant, try to keep up! 106 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,561 I'm sorry, I have to go find out if my boss knows. 107 00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,897 Well, whatever happens, we're here for you. 108 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,148 Thanks, you guys are the best. 109 00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:15,816 Drive safe, we love you, and give us a call when-- 110 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,026 Oh, my God, it was me, it was me. 111 00:05:17,193 --> 00:05:18,527 I'm the one who blabbed she's pregnant! 112 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,237 - What? - I didn't mean to. 113 00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:22,323 It just slipped out in front of her assistant one day. I feel-- 114 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,575 - Excuse me, I forgot my coat. - Oh! Here's your coat, honey. 115 00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:26,702 That's such a cute jacket. (WHINES) 116 00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,080 God, I feel so bad. ljust lied to her. 117 00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:33,584 Oh, but you did it so well. That's amazing. 118 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,295 It's like watching a sculptor 119 00:05:36,462 --> 00:05:38,714 but your clay was lies. 120 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,175 Is that really what's important right now? 121 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,385 Seriously, you have got to let me 122 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:45,012 scan your brain when you're being dishonest, 123 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,139 so I can see what lights up. 124 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,350 That's just super helpful, Amy. 125 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:50,643 Thanks a lot, I can't wait to do that. 126 00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,854 I can see a clump of bitch cells lighting up from here. 127 00:05:58,484 --> 00:06:00,903 Gimme a second to call my cousin. 128 00:06:01,237 --> 00:06:04,114 I don't see how a tax lawyer from Fort Lauderdale 129 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:06,492 could be helpful regarding intellectual property. 130 00:06:06,659 --> 00:06:08,452 First of all, he's in Boca Raton 131 00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,329 which is better than Fort Lauderdale. 132 00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:12,831 But, more importantly, 133 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:14,875 he lasted two days on Jeopardy, 134 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,418 so he's clearly a smart guy. 135 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,880 (RINGING ON MONITOR) 136 00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:21,799 Hello. 137 00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:24,468 Hey, Marty. Thanks for talking to us. 138 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:26,387 Yeah, no problem. Thanks for going to outer space 139 00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:29,473 so no matter what I do my mom will be disappointed in me. 140 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,476 Well, I married a little Catholic girl, 141 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:33,852 so, we're even. 142 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:37,147 Anyway, this is Leonard and Sheldon. The three of us 143 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:38,816 -came up with the guidance system. - Hi. 144 00:06:38,983 --> 00:06:40,401 - Hello. - And this is my friend, Raj. 145 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,027 Oh, I'm not on the patent. I'm just here 146 00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:44,488 because there's a bumblebee in my office. 147 00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:48,325 I saw it. It's big. 148 00:06:49,827 --> 00:06:51,370 Anyway, like I said in the email, 149 00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:52,788 this meeting's on Thursday. 150 00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:54,582 Do you have any advice for us? 151 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,500 Well, I don't know much about patent law. 152 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,335 But my advice is 153 00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:00,963 hear them out, offer as little information as possible 154 00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:03,382 and whatever you do, don't sign anything. 155 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,343 Don't sign anything? That's your advice? 156 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,387 Okay, so, if during this meeting 157 00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:09,847 one of us were to, say, 158 00:07:10,014 --> 00:07:11,473 complete an oil painting, 159 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,892 you'd recommend that we leave that unsigned? 160 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:17,396 - That's not what I meant. - That's what you said. 161 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,148 That's not what I meant. 162 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,400 This must be how you practice law in Boca Raton. 163 00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:24,361 By saying things you don't mean and meaning things you don't say. 164 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:26,530 Howard, why is he yelling at me? 165 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:29,783 All right, you were on Jeopardy. 166 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,870 Allow me to Alex Trebek this and put it in the form of a question. 167 00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,998 Who has been a complete waste of our time? 168 00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:39,209 Marty, let me call you back. 169 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:40,794 Someday, when I'm up on murder charges, 170 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,379 you'll be hearing from me. 171 00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:45,716 You don't need him. I'll represent you. 172 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,221 - Hi. - Hey, what brings you by? 173 00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:54,350 Oh! I had to go to a sales seminar on our new sleeping pill. 174 00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:55,934 - Oh, how was it? - Great! 175 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,062 - Fall asleep? -In, like, two minutes. 176 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,065 So, how is everything going around here? 177 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:03,525 You still upset about people finding out you're pregnant? 178 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,361 I'm furious. 179 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,404 Sure. Sure. 180 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,657 Uh, did you ever figure out who told? 181 00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:11,784 No. I confronted Barbara Chen, 182 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:14,119 but she claimed she didn't know what I was talking about. 183 00:08:14,578 --> 00:08:15,913 Hmm, well, I guess it's just gonna 184 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,790 remain a mystery, you know, 185 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:21,418 like, whatever happened in that seminar after they dimmed the lights. (LAUGHS) 186 00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:23,837 It had to be Barbara. 187 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,881 I've been trying to figure out a way to get back at her. 188 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:29,802 Do you think using her work computer to Google "how to be a prostitute" 189 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,553 is over the line? 190 00:08:33,097 --> 00:08:34,765 Um, you know, when I was in high school, 191 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:37,810 there was this girl who was talking about me behind my back. 192 00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:40,270 So, me and all my friends, we cornered her in the bathroom 193 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,772 and forgave her. 194 00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:45,150 What kind of revenge is that? 195 00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,653 This woman screwed with my job. She's gotta pay. 196 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:51,156 Okay. All right, honey, you know what? (SIGHS) 197 00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:54,034 There was something I was too scared to tell you yesterday 198 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,496 and now, I'm just balls-out terrified to tell you. 199 00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:59,206 But the truth is 200 00:08:59,415 --> 00:09:02,084 it wasn't Barbara Chen, it was me. 201 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,627 I'm the reason everyone knows. 202 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,171 - Why would you do that? - No. It was an accident. 203 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,173 I am so sorry I lied. 204 00:09:09,425 --> 00:09:10,467 Get out. 205 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:14,722 (PENNY SIGHS) 206 00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:18,183 Oh, you know, I also 207 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:19,685 lied about the girl in the bathroom. 208 00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:21,729 Yeah, we actually dunked her retainer in the toilet 209 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,814 and put it back in her mouth. 210 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,822 I don't understand why I can't talk at this meeting. 211 00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,450 'Cause when you talk, it enrages people. 212 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,829 Okay. Quick question, 213 00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:41,123 am I allowed to exchange pleasantries 214 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:42,499 upon meeting this colonel? 215 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,210 - Yes. - Am I allowed to inform him 216 00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:48,172 that Colonel Sanders was never actually in the military? 217 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,550 - L'm getting enraged. - Fine. 218 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,471 Ooh, can I use text-to-speech software? 219 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,181 - No! - Don't speak. 220 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,142 AUTOMATED VOICE: AW, nuts. 221 00:10:01,477 --> 00:10:03,061 Gentlemen, I'm Colonel Williams. 222 00:10:03,479 --> 00:10:04,605 Thank you for meeting with me. 223 00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:06,315 - Hi. - Hello. 224 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:11,737 So, which one of you is the brains behind all of this? 225 00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:13,864 (STUTTERS) It's a group effort, 226 00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:16,492 but I guess if we had to pick a main brain 227 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:17,868 that would be me. (CHUCKLES) 228 00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:19,495 Mmm-mmm. 229 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,756 And, because of the quantum vortices this can run perpetually? 230 00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:33,634 Exactly. Yeah, you have a good grasp of the physics. 231 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,803 Well, I'm a scientist by training. 232 00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,387 Really, you're a physicist? 233 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,014 Better. I'm an engineer. 234 00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:46,939 Where did you go to school? 235 00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,733 - MIT. - What? Hey, me, too. 236 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:52,778 I should have known. Behind every great invention is an MIT mind. 237 00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:58,951 I'll cut to the chase. 238 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:02,412 The Air Force believes there's an application for this technology 239 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,540 and we're interested in funding your research. 240 00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,793 Well. Thanks, but you should know, 241 00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:10,921 we're a little concerned about this being used in weapons. 242 00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:13,257 Oh, well, let me put your mind at ease. 243 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,717 What we use it for is none of your business. 244 00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:21,098 I don't know how I feel about this. 245 00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:23,433 Look, guys, it's just a guidance system. 246 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,770 It's not like you're handing us the Death Star from Star Trek. 247 00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:34,444 All you need to worry about is, 248 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,530 right now it's this big, 249 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:40,409 and we need it to be this big. 250 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,411 That's a lot less big. 251 00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:47,457 Yes. It's this much less big. 252 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,168 I'm not even sure that's possible. 253 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:52,588 Well, I ran it by some colleagues at MIT 254 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:55,090 and they thought they could get it done in four months. 255 00:11:55,299 --> 00:11:58,051 - Four months? - Yeah, we'll do it in two! (CHUCKLES) 256 00:11:58,802 --> 00:11:59,970 Hi. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 257 00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:02,431 I'm the actual brains behind this project. 258 00:12:02,598 --> 00:12:04,474 Also, engineers aren't real scientists, 259 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:05,934 MIT's a trade school, 260 00:12:06,143 --> 00:12:08,896 and the Death Star is from Star Wars, not Star Trek. 261 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,482 Otherwise, thank you for your service. 262 00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,742 Hi, Howard told me you were working late, 263 00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:23,994 -so I brought dinner. - Oh, thanks. 264 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,454 You know, I just wanted to get some work done 265 00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:26,955 without people congratulating me 266 00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,457 about the baby every five minutes. 267 00:12:28,624 --> 00:12:31,960 I spent my day alone in the lab waiting for a rat to die of anthrax. 268 00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:36,256 Did you come here to bring me dinner or to gloat? 269 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,635 Well, I came to see how you were feeling 270 00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,970 - but I'm guessing still angry? - (SIGHS) 271 00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:45,349 I'm sorry, my boss wants to meet with me and I'm stressing. 272 00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,851 You really think they're gonna start treating you differently? 273 00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:51,271 Are you kidding? I've always been treated differently! 274 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,649 Look at me! Listen to me! 275 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:56,151 I mean, the first thought when you see me isn't, 276 00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:57,361 "That's a scientist," 277 00:12:57,569 --> 00:13:00,197 It's, "I wonder if her mommy knows where she is." 278 00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:05,369 I am really regretting that I got you a Happy Meal. 279 00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,166 I've worked so hard to get where I am, 280 00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:13,377 and I don't want to get sent back to square one 281 00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:14,962 -because I'm pregnant. -(SIGHS) 282 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,588 I understand how you feel. 283 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:18,340 Thank you. 284 00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:20,926 I wish there was some way I could make it better. 285 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,387 Well, you brought me French fries, that's a start. 286 00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:27,391 Uh, actually I got you apple slices, 'cause you're pregnant. 287 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:30,852 Apple slices? 288 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:34,314 What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit? 289 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:36,608 I'll be right back. 290 00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:38,235 And a chocolate shake! 291 00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:46,201 - H i. - Hello. 292 00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:49,371 - What are you doing? - Oh, Leonard's mad at me 293 00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:50,956 so I'm making him lemon bars. 294 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,251 Does he even like lemon bars? 295 00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:56,044 Hmm, not really. 296 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,171 But I'm mad at him, too, 297 00:13:58,380 --> 00:13:59,506 so, lemon bars it is. 298 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,426 Something happen at the meeting? 299 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,803 They made me promise I wouldn't talk. 300 00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:06,638 - And you talked. - Well now, see? 301 00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:09,224 You knew what was gonna happen, why didn't they? 302 00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,102 Anyway, now we're committed to completing this project 303 00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:13,937 in a ridiculously short time frame 304 00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:15,564 and everyone's upset with me. 305 00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:18,900 Well, if it makes you feel any better, Bernadette's mad at me, too. 306 00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:21,278 Mmm. If it makes you feel any better, 307 00:14:21,445 --> 00:14:22,779 a parasitoid wasp 308 00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,364 known as Oobius depressus 309 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,783 has been rediscovered after 101 years 310 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,368 of presumed extinction. 311 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,289 Why would that make me feel better? 312 00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:34,750 Well, why would your Bernadette thing make me feel better? 313 00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,253 - At least mine was educational. - Okay. 314 00:14:38,462 --> 00:14:40,797 - Never mind. - Look, I'm sorry. 315 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,300 Tell me why Bernadette is upset with you. 316 00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:46,386 Well, I told people at work that she's pregnant. 317 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,096 She wasn't ready for them to know. 318 00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,724 - Why would you do that? - Well, it just slipped out. 319 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,852 - I feel terrible. - See, that's exactly what happened to me. 320 00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:56,813 Except that I said it on purpose and I have no regrets. 321 00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:01,985 Is it even possible to get this done in two months? 322 00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:03,695 Maybe, I don't know. We'll have to work 323 00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,655 12 hours a day, seven days a week. 324 00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:08,075 Which means I won't be able to make Penny breakfast every day, 325 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,160 and she'll realize my brioche French toast 326 00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:12,704 was the only thing keeping her in the marriage. 327 00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,916 - I love your French toast. - Oh, thanks, man. 328 00:15:17,501 --> 00:15:19,961 So, why did you guys even agree to the deadline? 329 00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:21,505 We didn't, Sheldon did. 330 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,173 And you just let him? 331 00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:25,008 Well, the colonel said it was for the good of the country 332 00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:26,676 and the funding is substantial-- 333 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,428 But, mostly there was an awkward pause 334 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:31,181 and I broke it by saying, "Okay." 335 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:35,602 So, I guess I won't be seeing you guys for a while. 336 00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,145 Oh, looks like it. 337 00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:39,481 Wow, you're going off to work with the military 338 00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:40,816 leaving me behind. 339 00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:43,443 Now, I know how all those army wives feel. 340 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:48,073 (SCOFFS) Would you stop? We're just gonna be on the other side of campus. 341 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,866 And, right here. 342 00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,371 You are a deeply silly man. 343 00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,750 He is so afraid of his feelings. 344 00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:05,715 Oh, hi. 345 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,051 - Got a minute? - Yeah. Come on in. 346 00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,347 I just wanted to apologize. 347 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,724 I know what you did was an accident. 348 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:18,061 Oh, thank you. And I'm sorry I lied about it. 349 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,063 Well, for what it's worth, you're a great liar. 350 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:22,357 Aw, that's what Amy said. 351 00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,735 So, what's going on with the research project? 352 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,154 Are they going to let you run it? 353 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,322 Well, my boss said he hadn't decided yet. 354 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,200 So, I gently reminded him that he's an old rich white guy 355 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:33,743 and I'm a sweet little pregnant lady 356 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,121 who's not afraid to cry in front of a jury. 357 00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,499 You threatened to sue? 358 00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,543 Hey, I learned a long time ago 359 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,337 when you're 4'11" and eye level with every guy's crotch, 360 00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:46,631 that's where you punch. 361 00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:51,303 That's funny, I learned something totally different. 362 00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:56,183 You know what? It's just a research project. 363 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,436 The most important job in the world is gonna be raising this child. 364 00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:01,396 It's all I need to give my life meaning. 365 00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:03,440 Aw, that's so beautiful. 366 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,192 You believe me? Oh, good. 367 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:08,445 Eleven more chumps like you, I'll have the jury eating out of my hand. 368 00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:14,576 I never realized this building was classified. 369 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:17,454 Maybe that's because it's classified. 370 00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,626 Wish we weren't so far from my parking space. 371 00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,377 The way you put away those lemon bars, 372 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,129 perhaps that's a good thing. 373 00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:29,633 I'd like to reinstate the "you not talking" rule. 374 00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:32,093 Why? It clearly doesn't work. 375 00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,473 I guess this is it. (CHUCKLES) 376 00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,141 LEONARD". Is that a retinal scanner? 377 00:17:38,642 --> 00:17:39,935 Let's find out. (CHUCKLES) 378 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,396 FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Howard Wolowitz, access granted. 379 00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,482 - No way! -Impressive. 380 00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:46,942 My turn, my turn! 381 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:50,153 Leonard Hofstadter, access granted. 382 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,656 I didn't even have to take my glasses off! 383 00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:58,870 Access denied. 384 00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:00,330 - It knows! - It knows! 385 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,673 Oh, oh, oh, guys, hold me upside down! 386 00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:19,140 Howard Wolowitz, access granted. 387 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:20,850 ALL: Yay! 388 00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,087 English - SDH