1
00:00:03,462 --> 00:00:04,589
It's pretty late.
2
00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:06,632
Think I've got time to
run some more simulations
3
00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:07,967
on the cooling system?
4
00:00:08,259 --> 00:00:10,803
Sure. I'm still figuring out
the thermo-acoustic expander.
5
00:00:10,970 --> 00:00:12,221
Yeah, while you do that
6
00:00:12,388 --> 00:00:16,350
lam going to pump cerebral spinal fluid
through my brain cells
7
00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:19,896
to remove the metabolic byproducts
of the day's thoughts.
8
00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:21,814
What?
9
00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:25,234
It's called sleep and it's my bedtime,
nighty-night, y'all.
10
00:00:25,818 --> 00:00:27,737
Hey, hey, hey, you're not going anywhere.
11
00:00:27,904 --> 00:00:29,906
And we only have two months
to deliver this to the Air Force
12
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:31,115
because of you.
13
00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:32,909
(YAWNING) I know, I was there.
14
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:35,286
Well, wake up!
15
00:00:35,453 --> 00:00:37,121
We're gonna put in a lot of late nights.
16
00:00:37,288 --> 00:00:38,581
How late?
17
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:41,542
Well, I don't know, midnight, 1:00.
18
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:44,337
One o'clock? I'm not a raccoon.
19
00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:48,007
If you're tired, have some coffee.
20
00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:49,550
What? You have some coffee.
21
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:50,927
I am having coffee!
22
00:00:51,636 --> 00:00:53,012
And look how irritable it's making you!
23
00:00:53,179 --> 00:00:54,388
Guys!
24
00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:57,099
We're not gonna get anything done
if we start fighting.
25
00:00:57,350 --> 00:00:59,310
Now, can you please
try to soldier through?
26
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:01,771
(SIGHS) Fine.
27
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,233
(CLOCK TICKING)
28
00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:18,537
I don't think I can go much longer.
29
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:20,790
It's been three and a half minutes,
wake up.
30
00:01:22,792 --> 00:01:24,835
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
31
00:01:48,651 --> 00:01:51,946
I had a bad dream
that my best friend became a tyrant
32
00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:54,198
and forced me to
stay up all night to work.
33
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,409
I had a good dream that
when I carried you to bed
34
00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:59,370
I let your head hit the wall
and I laughed.
35
00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:02,081
- Good morning.
- What is this?
36
00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:04,917
Well, we didn't see you last night,
we're not gonna see you today,
37
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:06,794
so we thought we could have
breakfast together.
38
00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:08,379
That is so nice.
39
00:02:08,546 --> 00:02:10,214
Ow! It does hurt!
40
00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:13,759
So, what are you guys gonna do today?
41
00:02:13,926 --> 00:02:16,429
Well, Sheldon was supposed to
go to this party with me this afternoon,
42
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:17,680
but I don't think that's happening.
43
00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:19,432
Oh, that was never happening.
44
00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:22,310
I'll go, I like a party.
45
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,062
Well, I mean, to be honest,
it's not like a "party" party,
46
00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:26,397
it's more like a gathering
47
00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:28,941
where scientists of different
disciplines get together
48
00:02:29,108 --> 00:02:31,569
to share their work and keep current
on what's going on in other fields,
49
00:02:31,736 --> 00:02:33,654
I don't know
why I called it a party, sorry.
50
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,614
It's okay, I'll still go.
51
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:36,907
You don't think you'll be bored?
52
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:38,326
I'll have some wine
53
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,703
and listen to people go on
about crap I don't understand.
54
00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:43,789
I mean, how is it any different
than every single day of my life?
55
00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:46,083
I won't be there.
56
00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:47,960
Look at that, it is a party.
57
00:02:48,127 --> 00:02:49,378
PENNY; Yeah.
58
00:02:51,422 --> 00:02:52,965
Sorry I have to work all weekend.
59
00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,216
It's okay.
60
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,801
Thanks again for breakfast.
61
00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:57,636
Well, I didn't get to see you last night.
62
00:02:58,888 --> 00:03:00,097
The least I could do.
63
00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:02,725
You shouldn't have
made the alarm code his birthday.
64
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:08,356
So, what should we do today?
65
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,900
I appreciate it, but you don't have to
spend your day off with me.
66
00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:12,443
Well, I don't mind.
67
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,612
Oh, you wanna go to the mall
and look at baby stuff?
68
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:15,863
Not really.
69
00:03:16,072 --> 00:03:17,698
Oh, come on, we could share a pretzel
70
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:21,369
and get sideways glances
from racist old ladies.
71
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,246
I get enough of that when I take Howard
72
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:25,873
to my grandmother's for Christmas.
73
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,292
Oh, I know.
74
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,961
Why don't we get started on
clearing out the baby's room?
75
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,463
Isn't it a little early for that?
76
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,173
You have to get to it eventually.
77
00:03:34,340 --> 00:03:36,842
(GROANS) There's so much junk in there,
it's embarrassing.
78
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,969
How can you be embarrassed around me?
79
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:41,180
I'm gonna be in the room with you
when you give birth.
80
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:49,980
I don't think you are.
81
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:53,234
You didn't think I was gonna be
in your kitchen this morning,
82
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:54,693
yet here I am.
83
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,661
- THE FLASH: Psst! Hey, ma.
{GASPS)
84
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,246
What?
85
00:04:08,124 --> 00:04:10,876
You look tired.
Why don't you have an energy drink?
86
00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:12,336
Everyone's doing it.
87
00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:17,258
Oh, no, thank you,
those have caffeine in them.
88
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,844
Oh, sorry, I thought you were cool.
89
00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:23,514
I am cool.
90
00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:25,057
This is Yoo-hoo,
91
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,810
chocolate milk's delicious, watery cousin.
92
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:31,981
All right, but if you ever wanna
feel like you have superpowers,
93
00:04:32,398 --> 00:04:33,858
try one of these.
94
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,403
Superheroes take
performance-enhancing chemicals?
95
00:04:37,570 --> 00:04:38,571
You bet.
96
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,489
You know why Hulk is so strong?
97
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,533
Steroids.
98
00:04:44,577 --> 00:04:48,164
You know why Batman wanders around
at night getting into fights?
99
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,124
Scotch.
100
00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:55,546
I am facing a great deal of work.
101
00:04:55,796 --> 00:05:00,050
And I do like things better when
famous people also like them.
102
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:03,262
Here. It's on the house.
103
00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:06,557
The first one's free?
104
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,852
Flash, how do you stay in business?
105
00:05:10,186 --> 00:05:11,687
You wanna know my secret?
106
00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:14,565
I bought stock in Marvel.
107
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,904
Hi, Bert. This is my friend Penny.
108
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,572
- Hi.
- Hey. Come on in.
109
00:05:21,739 --> 00:05:23,574
I'm gonna go turn on some rock music.
110
00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:25,576
- That's a geology joke.
-(PENNY CHUCKLES)
111
00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:27,870
Bert's a geologist.
112
00:05:28,037 --> 00:05:29,413
And a joker.
113
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:33,876
How early are we?
114
00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:35,753
Oh, actually, we're an hour late.
115
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:39,548
I suddenly wish Sheldon was here.
116
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,430
I don't even know where to begin.
117
00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:49,517
Well, in The Sound of Music,
Julie Andrews says,
118
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:53,229
"Let's start at the very beginning.
A very good place to start."
119
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,316
Huh. I was gonna start at the end,
thank God you're here.
120
00:05:59,777 --> 00:06:02,947
Well, I think the first thing
we should get rid of is that tone.
121
00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:05,324
Sorry.
122
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,661
I should probably keep this
in case we have a girl.
123
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:11,455
Ah, that's a nice one.
Was it yours when you were little?
124
00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:12,915
My dad built it for me.
125
00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:14,458
Wow, that's so cute.
126
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,294
This was the husband, this was the wife.
127
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:18,921
They'd go out on adventures together.
128
00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:21,590
Cruises, skiing, horseback riding.
129
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,510
That was really me just
duct taping them to our dog.
130
00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,763
- And did they have kids?
- They did.
131
00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:29,932
But the mommy and daddy didn't like them
132
00:06:30,099 --> 00:06:33,143
so they shipped them off to an orphanage
I made out of a shoebox.
133
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,772
Yeah, that's not worrisome at all.
134
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,568
Not every girl dreams about being a mom.
135
00:06:41,277 --> 00:06:43,279
Sometimes you think
you're never gonna have kids
136
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:45,072
and one day you wake up
and you're pregnant.
137
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:47,408
And it doesn't matter that your
career's going great right now
138
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:49,326
and that you and your husband
never even got to go anywhere
139
00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:50,661
taped to a dog!
140
00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:55,082
I skipped spin class for this.
141
00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:03,841
Why is it taking him so long
to get a drink out of a vending machine?
142
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,134
Well, it's complicated.
143
00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:07,886
He finds pushing that little door
and reaching up into the machine
144
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:09,638
uncomfortably intimate.
145
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,517
Gentlemen, I am ready to work.
146
00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:16,562
To quote The Martian,
"Let's science the feces out of this!"
147
00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:19,273
And that... That's The Martian the book
and The Martian the movie,
148
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,400
not Marvin the Martian.
Although, to quote Marvin the Martian,
149
00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:24,945
(AS MARVIN THE MARTIAN)
"I claim this planet in the name of Mars."
150
00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:26,864
Are you okay?
151
00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:28,449
Oh, I'm fantastic, never been better.
152
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,576
I had my first energy drink
and I feel great.
153
00:07:30,743 --> 00:07:32,077
Hey, you guys wanna wrestle?
154
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:34,079
We can do arm, thumb, mud, sumo.
155
00:07:34,246 --> 00:07:36,206
Nah, we're not fat enough
or wearing diapers.
156
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:40,711
You wanted him awake.
157
00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:49,887
(MUSIC PLAYING)
158
00:07:50,054 --> 00:07:53,265
So should we talk to each other or mingle?
159
00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:56,894
I don't know where everyone is.
160
00:07:57,061 --> 00:07:58,228
Yeah, I mean,
161
00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:01,607
I could see him eating one or two guests
but not a whole party.
162
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,027
Well, I guess this is kind of a bust.
163
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:06,904
You don't have to stay.
164
00:08:07,071 --> 00:08:08,405
I'm gonna start cleaning up.
165
00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:09,823
Okay.
166
00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:12,076
I feel so bad about leaving him here.
167
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:15,579
Well, that's funny, I was just
thinking the same thing about you.
168
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:17,665
Hey, listen,
169
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,168
could you not say anything about this
to the people at the university?
170
00:08:21,794 --> 00:08:26,048
You know, 'cause you're you and I'm me,
and it's kind of embarrassing.
171
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:28,258
Wait, what do you mean she's her?
172
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:31,261
Well, you know how Amy's
the coolest girl on campus, right?
173
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,013
- No!
- No.
174
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:35,057
Oh, yeah, everybody thinks so.
175
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:36,517
What?
176
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:39,561
You tell me about your foot fungus
but this is a secret?
177
00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:43,649
I'm sure it's just 'cause
I'm dating Sheldon.
178
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:47,277
Actually, I think Sheldon's popular
because he's dating you.
179
00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:52,574
Now Sheldon's popular? What is happening?
180
00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:56,704
(HOWARD GROANS)
181
00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:59,456
Maybe we should break for lunch.
What time is it?
182
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,959
(MOANING)
183
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:06,338
According to the world's
worst cuckoo clock, it's 2:00.
184
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:10,718
My head hurts
and I'm more tired than ever.
185
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,136
Why don't you just go home?
186
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,096
No, I can do this.
187
00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,849
I just... ljust need
another energy drink.
188
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:18,726
Oh, no.
189
00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:20,561
What?
190
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,146
I want another one.
191
00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:23,313
So?
192
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,773
That's a craving.
193
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,984
That's a sign of chemical dependency.
194
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,611
You only had one.
195
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:33,407
I know, but plenty of things are addictive
after a single exposure.
196
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:36,577
Crack cocaine, nicotine, Pringles.
197
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:40,164
You know once one pops
one just can't stop.
198
00:09:40,831 --> 00:09:42,750
You can't develop a problem that fast.
199
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,586
You wanna bet?
Oh, great, now I'm addicted to gambling.
200
00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:52,885
- We can't afford to lose any more time.
-(SIGHS)
201
00:09:53,177 --> 00:09:54,720
Well, this probably won't work
202
00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:57,681
but has anyone ever tried to just haul off
203
00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,641
and whoop the crazy out of him?
204
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,144
That's not helpful.
205
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,772
It's fun to think about
but it's not helpful.
206
00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:07,149
Hey ,
207
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,985
Sheldon, we are on a serious time crunch.
208
00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:12,821
We can't do this without you.
Can you please pull it together?
209
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:14,782
I'm sorry, yes, of course.
210
00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,200
Thank you.
211
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,535
Just please bear with me
212
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:21,371
if I display symptoms
of caffeine withdrawal.
213
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:23,916
No worries.
214
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:35,886
(INHALES SHARPLY)
215
00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:46,021
You guys stink.
216
00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:51,652
Sorry I flipped out on you.
I think it's just hormones.
217
00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:54,363
I think you were mean
before you were pregnant, but it's fine.
218
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,076
So, uh, instead of cleaning out the room,
219
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,620
why don't we just decide on a theme
for the nursery?
220
00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:03,163
Does it really need one?
221
00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:06,375
Of course it does, didn't your
baby room have a theme?
222
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,253
Well, it doubled as my dad's office
and he was a cop.
223
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:12,631
So, I guess the theme was
bloody homicide photos.
224
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,968
Oh. Mine was Winnie the Pooh.
225
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,179
But, anyway,
226
00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:23,267
why don't we just take a step back
and start with the color?
227
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,893
Right? There's so many amazing ones.
228
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:27,855
Red, blue, green, purple--
229
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,439
Are you just gonna name all the colors?
230
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:31,483
Well, not now.
231
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:35,904
I don't care what color the room is.
232
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:37,573
Okay, well, I'm just trying to help you.
233
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,616
Well, you're not. So just drop it.
234
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:46,373
I'm clearly upset,
why aren't you following me?
235
00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:48,792
Sorry, sorry!
236
00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:54,298
And when Amy started using a solution
of chromic acid and white vinegar
237
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,133
to clean all her lab equipment,
238
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,886
all of a sudden, everybody was doin' it.
239
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,764
You trendsetter!
240
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:05,475
It was just the right idea
at the right time.
241
00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:09,563
Okay, okay, so Amy's cool, Sheldon's cool.
Tell me about Leonard.
242
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,023
Who?
243
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,318
Leonard Hofstadter.
244
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:17,070
Oh, him. I guess he's all right.
245
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,823
Apparently he tricked some hot girl
into marrying him.
246
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:23,285
That's me! I'm her!
247
00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:27,372
And you know, he didn't trick me.
He just wore me down.
248
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:29,958
Makes sense you two are friends.
249
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,169
I mean, hot girls always stick together.
250
00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:38,383
And you thought this wasn't
gonna be a great party.
251
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:43,055
You know, I had no idea,
Caltech is exactly like my high school.
252
00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:45,015
Well, it's not exactly like it.
253
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:47,184
You know, we're all extremely smart.
254
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,188
Wow, you popular girls are mean.
255
00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:57,027
(GROANS) I'm gonna get some coffee.
You want some?
256
00:12:57,194 --> 00:13:00,030
Uh, you're really going to have caffeine
in front of me
257
00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:01,949
while I'm trying to get my life
back on track?
258
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,326
Okay.
259
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,411
Let's pretend you do have a problem.
260
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:07,663
- I do.
- You don't.
261
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:10,040
- Yeah, but I do.
- No, you don't!
262
00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:12,876
But let's say you do
and don't say you do because you don't!
263
00:13:15,379 --> 00:13:18,131
Well, wouldn't you think that
throwing yourself into your work
264
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,883
would be the best way to deal with it?
265
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,177
- With what?
- Your problem.
266
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:23,929
I thought I didn't have a problem.
267
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:30,894
That was painful to watch.
268
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,609
- So, where are we going?
- I don't know.
269
00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:39,319
Okay.
270
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,571
How Thelma and Louise of us.
271
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,784
Raj, why don't I care about anything?
272
00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:47,119
I'm sorry?
273
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:51,999
It's my baby, I should care about
nurseries and colors and I don't.
274
00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:53,500
What's wrong with me?
275
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:57,671
Well, crime scene photos
near your crib spring to mind.
276
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,717
I keep waiting to feel excited
but it's not happening.
277
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,553
(SIGHS) What if it never happens?
278
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:06,096
Bernadette,
279
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:09,266
come on, look,
you're over-thinking this, okay?
280
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,476
You're gonna be an amazing mom.
281
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:15,188
Even if you don't believe it,
I know you have maternal instincts.
282
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:17,858
Once I was supposed to
babysit my brothers,
283
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:20,944
our neighbor found them naked in
the backyard eating crickets.
284
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:26,366
Happy and well-fed. You see, that's
what I'm taking from that story.
285
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,623
Leonard, can I ask you a question?
286
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,293
Is it about the rotational symmetries
you should be figuring out
287
00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:37,753
or your fake caffeine problem?
288
00:14:40,589 --> 00:14:42,132
Howard, can I ask you a question?
289
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,509
No.
290
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:47,637
All right, I'll just toss this
out to the room.
291
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:51,141
Um, I was thinking that the best way
to fight my addiction
292
00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:53,143
is by weaning myself off in steps.
293
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,353
Now, I couldn't find a caffeine patch
294
00:14:55,687 --> 00:15:01,068
but I did find what claims to be
a mind-boosting caffeine suppository.
295
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:05,113
Yeah. You know, there's an
interesting fact about the rectum--
296
00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:06,573
Sheldon!
297
00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:10,577
We are dealing with an impossible deadline
298
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,162
from the Air Force because of you.
299
00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,831
So, have an energy drink,
don't have an energy drink.
300
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:18,627
Order suppositories and shove them
wherever you want, I don't care!
301
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:24,382
You don't shove them, they come
with an easy-glide applicator.
302
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,594
Right.
303
00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:30,972
Listen to me, we can't do anything
until you do your part.
304
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,642
So, get up in front of this whiteboard
and do it!
305
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,852
- I can't.
- Yes, you can.
306
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:37,104
No...
307
00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:39,648
I can't figure out the math.
308
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:43,235
I've been racking my brain for days
and I've got nothing.
309
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,404
Seriously?
310
00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:47,781
No, I can't do it.
311
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,866
I'm not as smart as I think I am.
312
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:52,953
I'm so sorry, this is all my fault.
313
00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:59,459
It's okay. We'll figure something out.
314
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,253
But what if we can't?
315
00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:03,380
It'll be fine.
316
00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:05,841
You'll see.
317
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,055
Sheldon?
318
00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:16,059
Buddy?
319
00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,187
(SNORING)
320
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:25,819
When the baby gets here
you gotta teach me that.
321
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:32,033
Thank you so much, Bert, this was great.
322
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,451
My pleasure.
323
00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:37,372
You girls wanna take home
a two-gallon tub of potato salad?
324
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,083
- I think we're good.
- Mmm.
325
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,711
Okay, well, thanks for coming by.
326
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,045
You're nice people.
327
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,047
Well, so are you.
328
00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:49,551
In fact, you know what?
We will never take you for "granite."
329
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:51,761
Did you get that?
330
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:55,223
Granite? It's a little geology joke.
(CHUCKLES)
331
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,768
You need to leave,
I'm in love with both of you now.
332
00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:00,103
- Okay.
- Bye.
333
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,442
Uh, pull over.
334
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,360
Why, who are you calling?
335
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:09,738
You're gonna rat me out to Howard,
aren't you?
336
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:12,657
You're such a snitch.
No wonder I don't like you.
337
00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:17,037
Whoa! I'm calling my dad. Okay?
338
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,414
He's got experience dealing
with pregnant ladies
339
00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:20,874
because he's an OB-GYN,
340
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,793
and experience with crazy ladies
because of my mom.
341
00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:25,462
(LINE RINGING)
342
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:27,589
Hello, Rajesh.
343
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,133
- Are you calling to ask for money?
- No.
344
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,302
Are you calling to ask for things
that cost money?
345
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,638
- No.
- Great, what's up?
346
00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:37,515
Okay, this is my friend Bernadette.
347
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:40,018
She's pregnant and she's a bit worried.
348
00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:41,561
So, I thought maybe you could talk to her.
349
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:44,064
Of course. What seems to be the trouble?
350
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,482
Something's wrong.
351
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:49,611
I don't care about any of the baby stuff
every other mom is so into.
352
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:52,864
Honestly, I'm not even sure I like babies.
353
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:57,327
Look, some people are baby people
and some people are not baby people.
354
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,829
It doesn't mean you won't
love your own baby.
355
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,707
But I thought I'd be more excited.
356
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:06,127
Being excited isn't
a guarantee of anything.
357
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:09,297
Rajesh's mother was thrilled
when she was pregnant with him.
358
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,634
After he was born,
she doted on his every move.
359
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,261
And you know what happened?
360
00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,388
He broke her heart,
moved halfway around the world
361
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:18,139
and dates only poor white women.
362
00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:23,019
So, you never know.
363
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,855
Thank you, I feel better now.
364
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,440
I don't!
365
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:30,694
Good. Bernadette,
I hope you have a daughter.
366
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:39,536
Uh, I don't really know how to say this...
367
00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:41,705
Well, you could try starting with "sir."
368
00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:43,748
Right, sorry, sir.
369
00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,167
He said start with it, not end with it.
370
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:49,296
Sir,
371
00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:51,506
we've hit a bit of a snag.
372
00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:53,383
We're already behind schedule.
373
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:57,887
The computations required to
overcome the deployability issues
374
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,223
are more significant than we thought.
375
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,559
I understand that we're under contract
376
00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:05,395
and I don't know what the
consequences of violating that are.
377
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:09,941
But, um, we're not gonna be able to
deliver in the time we promised.
378
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:13,903
(SIGHS)
379
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,450
How long do you need?
380
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:23,496
(CLEARS THROAT) We're thinking two years.
381
00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:27,542
All right.
382
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,213
That's it? You're okay with that?
383
00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:34,716
(SCOFFS) What, you think you're
the first government contractor
384
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:36,593
who isn't gonna deliver on time?
385
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,137
We're still waiting for
a big space laser Reagan ordered
386
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:40,680
to beat the commies.
387
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,392
Thanks for understanding, sir.
388
00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:46,061
Yes, thank you so much.
389
00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:48,355
We, we really appreciate it.
390
00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:50,982
LEONARD". All right, pressure's off.
391
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,068
HOWARD: (SIGHS) Wanna see a movie?
SHELDON: Popcorn's on me.
392
00:20:22,806 --> 00:20:23,807
English - SDH