1 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:14,189 Howie? Howie, wake up. 2 00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:15,478 It's time. 3 00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:18,360 - Did your water break? - No. 4 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,187 Are you feeling any contractions? 5 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:21,487 No. 6 00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:23,816 Wait. Well, where are you going? 7 00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:24,991 To the hospital. 8 00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:28,287 Today's my due date, and this crap needs to end now. 9 00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:33,702 Honey, babies don't always come on their due date. 10 00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:35,832 Halley was two weeks late. 11 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,465 But this baby's a boy. 12 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:41,675 They don't take as long to get ready. 13 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,002 (CHUCKLES) 14 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,253 What are you doing? 15 00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:47,135 I'm making the situation better with humor. 16 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:48,715 Are you? 17 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,803 Would you rather me make it better with magic? 18 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,021 - Go back to sleep. - Ta-da! 19 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,317 You know, I hear that sex can induce labor. 20 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,448 Anything for my family. 21 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,239 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 22 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:39,100 I believe today is Bernadette's due date. 23 00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:40,355 Yeah. 24 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,606 How do you know that? 25 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,521 Easy. 40 weeks from the date of her last period. 26 00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,651 And why do you know that? 27 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:52,074 Well, excuse me for taking an interest in people. 28 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:53,655 (SCOFFS) 29 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:56,413 - So, any day now. - Oh, I don't know. 30 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:57,492 We went to the doctor this morning, 31 00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,453 and she said it could still be another week or two. 32 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,289 How's Bernadette holding up? 33 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,381 It's pretty rough. 34 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,341 She's having a hard time. 35 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:09,504 Why are you smiling? 36 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,556 I had sex twice last night. 37 00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,930 That's not fair! She's on bed rest. 38 00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:15,602 She can't run away. 39 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:17,804 It was her idea. 40 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,640 She read that it can start labor. 41 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,100 Mm, is that true? 42 00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:24,403 Well, I would have googled it, but I was busy taking my pants off. 43 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,316 Yeah, not to brag, but Amy's last birthday 44 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,027 brought my coital tally up to four. 45 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,330 Whatever you're doing, it's not bragging. 46 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,082 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 47 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,910 Hey, I was just talking about you. 48 00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:42,208 - Oh, should I ask? - You should not. 49 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,715 I'm trying to get our grant proposal together. 50 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,589 Any chance you've finished up those mechanical drawings? 51 00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,512 Sorry. I was gonna do it last night, but I got kind of busy. 52 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,180 Yeah, you did. 53 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,718 What are they talking about? 54 00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:56,893 I'll give you a hint. 55 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,980 It's something that we have done four times. 56 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:01,974 Watched La La Land? 57 00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,276 (GASPS) What? No. No. 58 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,649 I've not watched La La Land four times. 59 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:08,613 If you find the soundtrack on my phone, 60 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,862 that's just 'cause our iTunes accounts are linked. 61 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,281 Looks like I might have a little more time 62 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,487 before the baby gets here, 63 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,447 so why don't we just stay late and get it done? 64 00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:19,249 Well, I don't want you to leave Bernadette alone. 65 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,326 Oh, we can hang out and keep her company. 66 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,583 - Yeah, absolutely. - See, see. Look at my Netflix queue. 67 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:26,165 There's two documentaries and the movie Friends with Benefits, 68 00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:27,792 which I thought was a documentary 69 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,002 about employer health care plans. 70 00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,798 Hey, Bernie, it's me. 71 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,596 I let myself in. 72 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:38,351 Hey. 73 00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:40,387 What are you doing? 74 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,063 I thought you were supposed to be on bed rest. 75 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:43,982 That's done, but I've been on stair rest 76 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,900 for the last 45 minutes. 77 00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,153 - Here, let me help you. - Yeah. 78 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,105 If you really want to help, put on a rubber glove, 79 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,190 reach on up there and start pulling. 80 00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:54,826 I know you're joking, but I grew up on a farm. 81 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,153 I'll do it. 82 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,739 Uh, ljust want this to be over. 83 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:00,829 You know, when my yoga instructor was pregnant, 84 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,329 she told me there are tons of poses 85 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,661 that put her right into labor. 86 00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:04,874 I'll try, 87 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:08,082 but I feel like bendy poses are what got me into this mess. 88 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:13,212 Okay, we're gonna start with some nice breathing exercises. 89 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,547 (EXHALES) 90 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:18,054 Sorry. I can't think of anything except how flat your belly is. 91 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,303 Oh, thank you. 92 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,348 Go put on some more clothes, you bitch. 93 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,980 Okay, we go down 94 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,817 and back up. 95 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,038 And back up! 96 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,457 Yeah, hearing you is not the problem. 97 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,504 - Hey, put that phone away! - Smile. 98 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,634 I'm telling you, there's an acupressure point 99 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,588 right above your ankle that can induce contractions. 100 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:57,510 All right, but just a warning. 101 00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,011 My feet are a little swollen. 102 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:02,685 Oh, please, Bernadette. I'm sure this... Okay. 103 00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:05,605 - What? - Nothing. 104 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,308 Your ankles look fine, and not at all 105 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,814 like ljust popped open a can of crescent rolls. 106 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,824 My mother believes that if you're not prepared mentally, 107 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,697 it can delay your body from going into labor. 108 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:20,157 So what are you trying to say? It's my fault? 109 00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,076 (SIGHS) 110 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,293 Raj is crazy. Your ankles aren't that gross. 111 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,421 Hello. 112 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,379 Let me guess. You're here to try to get me to go into labor. 113 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,882 Oh, please. I'm disgusted when people sneeze, 114 00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,717 and that's just stuff coming out of their nose. 115 00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:46,848 No. I am here to sit with you and keep you company. 116 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,397 Oh, that's nice. 117 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:51,443 Yeah, by playing the most complicated board game 118 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,692 ever invented Campaign for North Africa. 119 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,028 I bought it off eBay. 120 00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,987 It smells a little like chili, but all the pieces are there. 121 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,201 Come on, baby. 122 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:06,534 Get out here right now, and I'll buy you a pony. 123 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,048 Are there any engineers on the grant committee? 124 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,256 I don't know. Why? 125 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:17,051 I didn't have time to figure out the three-input hydraulic manifold, 126 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:19,346 so this diagram is really just a flux capacitor 127 00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:20,889 from Back to the Future. 128 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,810 I'm sorry this is on such short notice. 129 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,388 Hey, ljust wish I could be there when you present it. 130 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:28,809 That's okay. 131 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,812 It's more important that you spend time with Michael. 132 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:32,938 Who's Michael? 133 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,942 Uh, your son? 134 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,113 No, it's not. 135 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:39,031 My son doesn't have a name yet. 136 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,614 Okay, well, then, Bernadette's son. 137 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,249 I can't believe her. 138 00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:51,454 She knows I don't want to name the baby after her dad. 139 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:54,047 - What did you want to name him? - I don't know. 140 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,216 We were gonna wait until we saw what he looked like. 141 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,884 Well, it's a baby. 142 00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:01,547 Her dad's a wrinkly bald man. That wasn't gonna break your way. 143 00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:12,690 Oh, come on! 144 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,564 Welcome to the next five to eight weeks of your life. 145 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,117 Sheldon, I said I didn't want to play your game. 146 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,118 Well, then don't think of it as a game. 147 00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,947 Think of it as a source of information 148 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:30,625 about one of the lesser known campaigns of World War ll. 149 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:33,711 You're right. That's so much better. 150 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,131 I know, right? 151 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:39,543 Okay, first, we need to roll to determine the weather. 152 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,171 It's a desert. Isn't it gonna be hot? 153 00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,191 Yes. 154 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,480 (DOOR OPENS) 155 00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:02,611 (DOOR CLOSES) 156 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,785 Michael? Really, you think we're naming him Michael? 157 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:09,035 Not now, Howard. I'm in the middle of a game. 158 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,539 You wish. You are hundreds of hours away from the middle. 159 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,845 I can't believe you're trying to hijack our son's name. 160 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:25,881 Bernie? 161 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,894 BERNADETTE: This is as fast as I move! Calm down! 162 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,771 So you're just gonna name him Michael? 163 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,481 (SCOFFS) Were you even gonna tell me? 164 00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,907 I told you. 165 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,154 When? 166 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,819 Oh, right. That was Amy. 167 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,157 What's wrong with Michael? It's my dad's name. 168 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,744 I don't want to name our son after your father. 169 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,424 I didn't want to say this, but he's dying. 170 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,002 He is? 171 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:07,631 Eventually. I mean, you see the way the man eats. 172 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,308 Okay, is this the hormones, 173 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,681 or have you always been a lunatic? 174 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:15,897 I don't even know anymore. 175 00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:20,068 Bernie, this is our kid's name. 176 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:22,779 I think we should both agree. 177 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:25,198 You're right. We both made this baby. 178 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,782 Thank you. 179 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:29,236 And I carried it, had to stay in bed for four months, 180 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:30,571 sacrificed my body and my job, 181 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,451 and soon it's gonna burst its way out of me 182 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,248 like the Kool-Aid Man. 183 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:37,710 Exactly. Fifty-fifty. 184 00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:44,543 I think I got Bernadette in trouble. Maybe we should go. 185 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,132 I can't. 186 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,714 She and I are playing Campaign for North Africa. 187 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,259 She doesn't want to play that. 188 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:55,638 Neither did the Egyptians, but that didn't stop Rommel. 189 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,353 Hey! I brought Chinese. 190 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,979 And I brought Indian. 191 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,104 What are you guys doing here? 192 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:07,282 Sheldon texted and said Bernadette wanted us all to come over. 193 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,284 The game's best with five to ten players. 194 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,831 Okay, if it's not Michael, then what do you want to name him? 195 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:22,380 Harry, like Potter or Houdini. 196 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,210 It doesn't bother you that I have an old boyfriend named Harry? 197 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,137 Okay. 198 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,890 How about Al or Max or 199 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,601 Ted or Kevin? 200 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,637 Same answer. 201 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,272 Hey, Bernadette, it's your turn. 202 00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:43,193 Uh, Penny's air force is strafing your supply line in Tobruk. 203 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,312 We're kind of busy. 204 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,898 Oh, okay. But you're being pretty rude. 205 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,279 Everyone did come over to play this game with you. 206 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,747 You know, I always thought Christian was a nice name. 207 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,410 I don't know. Sounds a little too uncircumcised. 208 00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:03,079 Bernadette, it's your turn. 209 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,289 What about Greg? 210 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:05,965 All right, I'll just roll for you. 211 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,169 Oh, that is a good one! 212 00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,675 Your troops' morale rating is pretty high. 213 00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,381 Now, Leonard, as the defender, 214 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,341 we need to subtract your morale rating 215 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,930 from Bernadette's to get a final 216 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,853 adjusted morale rating for the assault. 217 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,977 And I will just check the assault differential column. 218 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,310 Oh, who said war was hell? 219 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:28,279 Yeah, that's a rhetorical question. Sherman said it. 220 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,568 What about Sherman? 221 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,149 Like, Sherman Wolowitz. 222 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:34,031 Yeah, that's a kid who's gonna take his mother to prom. 223 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,994 Hey, Howard, you did that, right? 224 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,289 I didn't take her. She chaperoned. 225 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,829 We slow-danced once. 226 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,006 What about Paul? 227 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,256 Paul. Paul Wolowitz. 228 00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:52,383 I like it. 229 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,297 Like "Koothra-paul-i." 230 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,142 Okay, you ruined it. 231 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:02,268 All right, that moves us on to the tactical shipping phase. 232 00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:05,191 Penny, I believe, as logistics commander, that's you. 233 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,939 - Okay. I surrender. - Uh... 234 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,022 Nice try, Penny. 235 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,232 It takes more than everybody not enjoying it 236 00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:14,113 to stop a game with Sheldon Cooper. 237 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,570 Sheldon, we're talking about something important here. 238 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:21,249 (SIGHS) Fine. If you pick a baby name, can we get back to playing? 239 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,209 - Sure. - All right, here we go. 240 00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,127 Ranatanata. 241 00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,706 You can't name him Ranatanata. 242 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,418 Oh, right, it's a boy. That'd be ridiculous. 243 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,387 (EXHALES) What about Ozymandias? 244 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,966 Are you making these up or having a stroke? 245 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:42,346 Ozymandias is from a poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley. 246 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,523 Oh! Oh! Bysshe Wolowitz. Solved. Back to the game. 247 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,736 Heyo! Sandstorm! 248 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,735 Uh, some people name their kids after places. 249 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:56,489 Like what, Walla Walla Wolowitz? 250 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,281 If you think that is better than Ozymandias Wolowitz, 251 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,082 then you have been breathing in the poisonous gas 252 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,750 that my troops illegally dispersed. 253 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:06,870 Oh... 254 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,794 - You okay? - I think that was a contraction. 255 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,129 Is it time? Do we need to go to the hospital? 256 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,300 No. We've been through this before. 257 00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:14,844 My water hasn't even broken yet. 258 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,591 Never mind your water. 259 00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,673 Has your mucus plug popped out? 260 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,559 Ew, no! 261 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,891 Oh, you're right. We probably would've heard that. 262 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,851 It's not a champagne cork. 263 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,103 Although that would be festive. 264 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,228 You know what, maybe we should go. 265 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,858 Did you have another contraction? 266 00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:34,564 No. I'm just worried that Sheldon's gonna say 267 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,365 "mucus plug" again. 268 00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,820 And I'm worried one's gonna hit me in the eye. 269 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:41,700 Yep, it's time. 270 00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:42,826 Should we take two cars? 271 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,158 Uh, actually, could you stay here and watch Halley? 272 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,289 That way we don't have to wait for Bernadette's parents. 273 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:48,620 Yeah, you guys go. We'll take care of her. 274 00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:49,955 You have nothing to worry about. 275 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,506 Uh... Well, not nothing. 276 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:54,755 There are U-boats approaching the Suez Canal. 277 00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:58,464 It's too late for us. Go, go! Save yourselves! 278 00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:02,767 Suez? Birth? It's a big night for canals. 279 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,273 How you feeling? 280 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,851 Eh... 281 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,895 But I am really excited to meet our son. 282 00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:16,986 Me, too. I thought I'd be super freaked out. 283 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:20,285 But I'm ready for this. 284 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,654 Well, not the part where you're in labor 285 00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:25,035 and you squeeze my fingers till they turn blue. 286 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,200 I'm sorry. 287 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,877 That must be really painful for you. 288 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,961 It is. I mean, last time, I... 289 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,213 Oh, okay, I see what you're doing. 290 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,509 (CHUCKLES) 291 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:39,591 (GRUNTING) 292 00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,681 It's a big one. 293 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,679 Just breathe. 294 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:44,933 (EXHALES) 295 00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:47,061 (SIGHS) okay- 296 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,230 Okay, I'm good. 297 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,185 I'm sorry I tried to sneak the name past you. 298 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,523 That's okay. 299 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:57,655 I'm sorry I used up so many good names in college. 300 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,986 I was really competitive with my roommate. 301 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,536 (CHUCKLES) 302 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,998 Forget about it. 303 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,041 Please. 304 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,914 You know what, maybe we're putting too much pressure on this. 305 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,589 It doesn't matter what we name him. 306 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,045 He's gonna be amazing. 307 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,593 You're right. 308 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,546 This kid is part you and part me. 309 00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:25,804 Yeah. He's gonna be smart and kind and funny. 310 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,727 If he cracks five-foot-six, it'll be a miracle. 311 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,606 I've always liked the name Elliott. 312 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,776 Sorry, can't have it. That's my boy name. 313 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,611 I said it first. 314 00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,484 It's not like calling dibs. 315 00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,356 Yes, it is. It's exactly like that. 316 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,113 Dibs on Elliott. 317 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:45,195 I'm just saying, we might get there first. 318 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,621 You only have sex once a year. 319 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,573 I'll probably have sex tonight. 320 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,744 Fine, you can have Elliott. 321 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,001 When did you pick out our kids' names? 322 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,128 Remember that day you moved into the building? 323 00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,880 Yes. 324 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:04,597 A non-creepy amount of time after that. 325 00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:07,676 Yeah, I like the name Elliott. 326 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,510 That wasn't on my list, but I like it. 327 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,601 We've heard your names. They're ridiculous. 328 00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,983 And I have a cousin named Dilip. 329 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:18,353 Well, I wasn't going to give them any of the good names. 330 00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,904 I'm saving those for us. 331 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:23,024 Really? You've thought about our kids? 332 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:26,406 Of course. I think you and I will have exceptional children. 333 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,449 Oh... Well, I think so, too. 334 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,117 How many kids do you guys want? 335 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:34,248 - Fifteen. - Two. 336 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,001 - What? - Well, don't worry. 337 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,878 I don't expect you to bear them all. 338 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:43,131 I'm sure we can find a suitable uterus to rent. 339 00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,464 - No! - Uh-huh! 340 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,050 We weren't thinking about you. 341 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,180 Of course not. 342 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,102 (GRUNTS) I am going to the kitchen. 343 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,555 Can I get anybody anything? 344 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:56,315 Penny, nice glass of milk and a multivitamin? 345 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:09,908 SHELDON: Guys. 346 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:12,366 Guys, wake up. Terrible news. 347 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:13,574 Oh, my God. What, what, what? 348 00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:16,002 - Is it the baby? - No. No, no, we miscalculated 349 00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:17,545 our unassigned armor class units. 350 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,042 We need to start over. 351 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,254 - What? - No, no, no, not from the beginning. 352 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,880 Just from when the tanks started moving. 353 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,508 That was five hours ago. 354 00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:31,434 No. No, that was two hours ago. It only feels like five. 355 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,262 - What time is it? - It's almost 2:30. 356 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:35,809 Don't you think we should've heard something? 357 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,437 - L'm sure they're fine. -l'm calling them. 358 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,356 (PHONE RINGING) 359 00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:42,770 Hey! 360 00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:43,945 Hell, everything Okay? 361 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:47,275 Yeah! The baby was born about an hour ago. 362 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:50,070 Dude, why didn't you call me? 363 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,330 The only way I would see my son for the first time 364 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,374 and immediately think "I need to call Raj" 365 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,247 is if he came out brown. 366 00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:01,626 You know, it can take some time for pigment to form. 367 00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,458 You're still not out of the woods. 368 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,177 - Well, congratulations! Yeah. - Hey, what'd you name him? 369 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,803 Neil Michael. 370 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,797 Neil for Armstrong, 371 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,390 Gaiman, and Diamond. 372 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,636 Michael because Bernie had to get six stitches. 373 00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:16,846 Neil. That's cute. 374 00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:18,806 BERNADETTE". But we're calling him Michael! 375 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,191 (SIGHS) I'm not gonna fight her. 376 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,611 That kid's head was the size of a cantaloupe. 377 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,069 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 378 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:51,756 English - SDH