1
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:05,197
Yeah, but I think by the end
of the honeymoon,

2
00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:07,511
we really started to feel
like a married couple.

3
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,839
Yeah, but the good kind, like on TV,
not like my parents.

4
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:11,960
Yeah.

5
00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:14,536
You're not a real married couple
until you can pee with the door open

6
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:15,710
and she's okay with it.

7
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:18,560
I told you I'm not okay with it.

8
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,236
She loves it.

9
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:26,033
So, we got everybody gifts.

10
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:27,120
Aww.

11
00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:31,235
Did you forget about us
until you were at the airport?

12
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,509
No, we forgot about you
until we were on the plane.

13
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,275
Luckily there was Wi-Fi,
and I have Amazon Prime.

14
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:44,037
"I heart New York." Aww, the baby's
gonna love throwing up on this.

15
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,959
Look, it doesn't have to just be
New York, that's the beauty of it.

16
00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:51,078
The initials "N.Y." can stand
for anything you like.

17
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:52,760
For instance, I understand that there is

18
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,350
an elderly rock and roll musician
named Neil Young, perhaps you heart him.

19
00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:02,156
Or if not him, Egyptian table tennis
silver medalist Noha Yossry, yup.

20
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:06,996
Or Nana Yamaguchi, the Japanese voice
actress who starred in <i>Sally the Witch.</i>

21
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:10,551
Did you just google the initials "N.Y."?

22
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,360
I had Wi-Fi and a long plane flight,
draw your own conclusions.

23
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,434
Well, guys, that was very,
very thoughtful of you. I...

24
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,679
Did you get me a double XL?

25
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,199
- I told you.
- You were right, dear.

26
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,237
<i>Our whole universe
was in a hot dense state</i>

27
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,797
<i>Then nearly fourteen billion years ago
expansion started...</i>

28
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:34,800
<i>Wait!</i>

29
00:01:34,801 --> 00:01:35,759
<i>The earth began to cool</i>

30
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:36,955
<i>The autotrophs began to drool</i>

31
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,554
<i>Neanderthals developed tools</i>

32
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,359
<i>We built a wall
We built the pyramids</i>

33
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,035
<i>Math, science, history
Unraveling the mystery</i>

34
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,873
<i>It all started with the Big Bang!</i>

35
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,000
<i>Bang!</i>

36
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,714
Sheldon, that's not how
you write a thank you card.

37
00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,276
What's wrong with it?

38
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,875
"Dear Aunt Helen, thank you so much
for the lovely place setting.

39
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,475
If my handwriting looks strained,
that is because

40
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,439
this is the 16th thank you card
Amy has forced me to write.

41
00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,554
The muscles in my wrist are cramping
as I struggle to finish this sentence.

42
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:20,033
Ow, ow. Oh, the pain. Love, Sheldon."

43
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:22,556
Fine.

44
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:24,909
"And Amy."

45
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,680
Ow.

46
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:32,437
This one is from Leonard and Penny. Aww.

47
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:34,951
"The perfect gift
for the perfect couple."

48
00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:37,600
Oh, save that card, we may need
to throw it back in their faces.

49
00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,039
I wonder what could it be?

50
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,875
Oh, it could be anything,
a flute, a letter opener.

51
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,879
One of those pens where you
put the bikini back on the naked lady.

52
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:50,840
Oh.

53
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,480
Isn't this nice.

54
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:57,116
What is it?

55
00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,997
You know, it's, uh, it's one of those...

56
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:04,876
Nope, doesn't do that.

57
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,032
Oh, maybe it's candy. Lick it.

58
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,640
I don't wanna lick it, you lick it.

59
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,920
What? I'm not going to lick it,
I just brushed my teeth.

60
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,672
Is it from one of
your dumb sci-fi shows?

61
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,520
None of the sci-fi shows
I watch are dumb.

62
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,114
- Sheldon...
- Okay, <i>Westworld.</i>

63
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:25,353
But this has nothing to do with that
show, other than it's also inexplicable.

64
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,696
Well, Leonard and Penny
are our best friends,

65
00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:29,000
they know us better than anyone.

66
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,034
They said it's the perfect gift.
We must be missing something.

67
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:44,718
You don't think it's
a marital aid, do you?

68
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:48,760
What? Don't be silly, Amy.

69
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,514
How is this big glass shaft
going to aid our marriage?

70
00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,280
Do you think when
Krypto the Superdog is out flying,

71
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,636
Superman has to fly
after him with a little baggie?

72
00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,360
Hmm. I've never really thought
about it before,

73
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,400
but he doesn't need a baggie because

74
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,477
he just blasts the poop
with his heat vision.

75
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,920
- You've thought about it before.
- Oh, I've thought about it a lot.

76
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:21,878
What is wrong with Stuart's face?

77
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:24,470
I think he's smiling.

78
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,880
Oh, my God. Are they flirting?

79
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:29,960
They're way past flirting.

80
00:04:29,961 --> 00:04:32,271
I caught them making out
at Sheldon's wedding.

81
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,640
Are you sure she wasn't trying
to breathe life back into him?

82
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:38,440
I don't think so.

83
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,393
When I used that much tongue
at CPR training, I had to buy the dummy.

84
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,479
Ooh, I have class, I should go.

85
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,155
Oh, okay. Bye.

86
00:04:58,400 --> 00:04:59,470
See you, guys.

87
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:00,755
- Bye.
- Bye.

88
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:02,996
So...

89
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:06,357
what's her deal? Is she into you
or does she just hate her parents?

90
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:12,232
I dunno, we kissed a little
at the wedding and it was great.

91
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,216
But we haven't really
talked about it since then,

92
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,357
so I don't know how she feels about me.

93
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,432
Well, she patted you on the head,

94
00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:21,592
so I'm guessing she feels like,
"You're such a good boy."

95
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,956
Seriously, do you think
I should ask her out?

96
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:29,272
Yeah. Absolutely.
Don't let love get away.

97
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,034
It is the most important
thing in the world.

98
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,514
Without it, life is dark and meaningless

99
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,920
and all you're left with is
the judgmental gaze of your dog

100
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,037
as you finish off
a bag of Doritos on the toilet.

101
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,791
Thanks. You're a real good pal.

102
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:48,869
And now you're a good boy.

103
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,275
I can't stop thinking about
that present. It's driving me crazy.

104
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,635
Yeah, me, too.

105
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,712
The card said it was the perfect gift,

106
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,754
but it's not a dinosaur fossil
or matching pocket watches,

107
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:07,000
so I don't see how it can be.

108
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,954
Maybe we're trying too hard.
Maybe it's something simple.

109
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,117
Like Leonard and Penny.
Yes, good.

110
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,352
We just need to think like them.

111
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,711
Okay.

112
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,669
What gift can I get us

113
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,720
to express how grateful we are
to have us in their lives?

114
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,515
Way to make it simple.

115
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,696
You know, I'm just going to ask them.

116
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,757
No, you can't,
it'll hurt their feelings.

117
00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:34,196
I'm okay with that.

118
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:36,256
And they'll know
you weren't smart enough

119
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:37,440
to figure it out on your own.

120
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,189
You're right. Oh, this is awful,

121
00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:41,959
and I can't even comfort myself

122
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,430
by stroking the fossilized tibia
of a <i>Pentaceratops.</i>

123
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,470
Let's just go to sleep.

124
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,400
We'll look at it in the morning
with fresh eyes

125
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:50,596
and maybe it'll come to us.

126
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:51,950
Fine.

127
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,710
Or we go tear apart that box
and look for a clue.

128
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,635
Staying up past my bedtime
and solving mysteries,

129
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,320
who knew married life
could be this good?

130
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,680
What's wrong with his face?

131
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,440
A lot of people have been asking that.

132
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,795
He's smiling.

133
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,072
Hey, Stuart, you look pretty happy.

134
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:26,916
Oh, yeah. I asked Denise out on a date,
and she said yes.

135
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,480
Aww, that's great,

136
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,077
but don't smile like that
in front of Halley.

137
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,880
She just started
sleeping through the night.

138
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:37,549
Sorry. I'm excited. I haven't
been on a date in a long time.

139
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,200
You know, back when I was dating,
I'd always wear

140
00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:41,800
a new pair of underwear. Just in case.

141
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,436
It's also been a long time
since I bought new underwear.

142
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:49,396
And I probably should because
these are no longer tighty nor whitey.

143
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:51,870
Okay, I'm out.

144
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,576
You know, if there's a chance
someone's gonna see you naked,

145
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,832
it's also polite to make sure
you're well groomed down there.

146
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,639
I get it, Howard. I've been busy!

147
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,000
- Hello.
- Hey.

148
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:11,154
I just wanted to pop over
and hand deliver this thank you note,

149
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,516
for your very thoughtful wedding gift.

150
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,000
- Oh.
- Oh, good, you guys liked it?

151
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,595
Yeah, well, we liked it
a lot more than things

152
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,194
that aren't it, I'll tell you that.

153
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,616
Well, you know, that's great
because when we saw it, we thought,

154
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:24,313
"Amy and Sheldon
just have to have that."

155
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:25,440
Oh, do tell.

156
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,194
Now, paint a picture for me,
like where you were when you found it

157
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,277
and what you thought
we'd enjoy doing with it.

158
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,634
Do you not know what it is?

159
00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:36,598
Oh, of course he knows what it is.

160
00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:38,273
He's the smartest man in the world.

161
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,038
Well, I don't know about the world.

162
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,430
Now, some of those
Chinese fellas are pretty clever.

163
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,193
Uh, now if you'll excuse me,

164
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:47,919
I'm going to return home

165
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,834
and use your gift in the manner
which it was intended.

166
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,470
- He's never gonna figure it out.
- I know.

167
00:08:58,720 --> 00:08:59,995
What are you?

168
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,000
- Gosh this makes me happy.
- Yeah.

169
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,632
Howard. Look, I don't
often say this, but good, you're here.

170
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:15,192
Now, do you know what Leonard
and Penny got us for our wedding gift?

171
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:16,710
- Well...
- Don't answer.

172
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,156
I don't want to know.
I just want to know if you know.

173
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:20,356
I do know.

174
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,353
Okay, great. I believe that Amy
and I have figured it out.

175
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:27,593
Is it a clue to a scavenger hunt
that will lead us to the actual present?

176
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,357
If you're asking if you and Amy
should spend the next couple days

177
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,796
running all over town,
searching for the next clue,

178
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,837
I'm gonna have to say yes.

179
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,070
I knew it! This is so much fun!

180
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,435
Oh, it really is.

181
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,394
Oh, Leonard, thank you again.
We love the gift.

182
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:46,520
Aww.

183
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:48,716
Does he know what it is?

184
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,474
No, not even close. He thinks
it's a clue to a scavenger hunt.

185
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,394
So, so happy.

186
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,096
Well, what is it?
What did you give them?

187
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,510
It's just this dumb crystal wand

188
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,751
that Howard and Bernadette
gave us for our wedding.

189
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,752
Penny and I made each other miserable

190
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,752
trying to figure out what it was
and we thought,

191
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,355
"Why not pass that fun
along to Sheldon and Amy?"

192
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:13,355
Wait a minute. Did you give them
the crystal chakra wand

193
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:14,954
that I gave you for your wedding?

194
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,598
Yeah, that's exactly what we did.

195
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,311
What the... You said you liked it.

196
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,199
Yeah, that's exactly what I said.

197
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,079
Wow. A scavenger hunt,

198
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:35,795
that's exciting.

199
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,594
I had a bit of a scavenger hunt
myself last night.

200
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,480
I was trying to find the remote.

201
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,199
I looked under one of the cushions,

202
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,075
wasn't there.

203
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,958
Then I lifted the cushion
a little higher,

204
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,230
bingo.

205
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,233
Riveting. So, do you know what it is?

206
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,034
Of course I know what it is.

207
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,032
It's a silicon dioxide crystal,

208
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,038
otherwise known as quartz.

209
00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:59,349
But are you sure?

210
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:00,715
Am I sure?

211
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,759
Is basalt a mafic extrusive igneous rock

212
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:07,277
formed by the rapid cooling
of magnesium and iron-rich lava?

213
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:08,360
Yeah, I'm sure.

214
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,638
Okay, so it's quartz.

215
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,389
It's got to mean something.
What do we know about quartz?

216
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:15,480
I'll google it.

217
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:19,157
Or you can ask me, the geologist
who won the MacArthur Genius Grant.

218
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:20,280
Got it.

219
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:24,149
Quartz, from the German "quarz,"

220
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,312
which sounds the same
but is spelled without a "T."

221
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:33,278
Interesting. No "T." What is not "T"?

222
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,040
Coffee.

223
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:37,233
The coffee shop where we first met.

224
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,669
All right, let's go.

225
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:43,874
Sorry, I think I just had an
adrenaline rush from having visitors.

226
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,117
Hey, Raj, will you
smell something for me?

227
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,918
Uh... That depends.
Actually it doesn't depend, just no.

228
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:59,432
I'm trying out some new colognes
for my date with Denise.

229
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,638
Oh, and you just came over here to
rub it in my face that you have a date?

230
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,519
No, I came over here
because I need advice

231
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,195
and you've gone out with more women
than anybody I know.

232
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:09,794
Huh. I guess you're right.

233
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,800
Sheldon's the smart one,

234
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,475
Howard's the funny one
and apparently I'm the ladies' man.

235
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:17,556
Which one's Leonard?

236
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,200
Oh, yeah, right. I guess
Leonard's the forgettable one.

237
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,200
Okay, let's have a whiff.

238
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,000
Hmm.

239
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,594
Smells like Paco Rabanne.

240
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,797
Oh, you're good.
I bought it at a swap meet.

241
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,236
It's actually called
"Smells Like Paco Rabanne."

242
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,640
It's great, she's gonna love it.

243
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:39,358
I hope so. I really like Denise
and I don't want to screw this up.

244
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:40,669
Hey, relax.

245
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,277
Trust your instincts. That's what I do.

246
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,200
And that works for you?

247
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,436
Actually,

248
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:51,790
no.

249
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,957
I've made a mess of my life and I'm...

250
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:56,670
I'm all alone.

251
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,272
Okay, I think it'd be
best for both of us

252
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,239
if I pretend to get a phone call
and just walk away.

253
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:09,955
Yeah, that would be best.

254
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,269
Hello, this is Stuart.

255
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:14,960
Sorry, I got to take this.

256
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,200
Why, yes, I'd love to take a survey.

257
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:27,637
Okay, this is where we first met.
There's got to be a clue here somewhere.

258
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,040
We sat at that table.

259
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,076
- Excuse me!
- I'm sorry. We're on a scavenger hunt.

260
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,280
Just pretend we're not here.

261
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:38,277
- Oh, I found something.
- It's gum.

262
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:43,633
Maybe they left it behind the counter.

263
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:47,917
I met my wife here
and we sat at this very table.

264
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,600
Now, so, if you play your cards right,

265
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:51,360
in eight years,
you could marry this woman.

266
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,280
That's my sister.

267
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,238
Well, don't tell people.
That's not okay.

268
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:00,754
Sheldon, look.

269
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,309
I asked the barista if anyone
left anything for us

270
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,636
and she said to look in
this lost and found box.

271
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,717
But why would it be
in the lost and found box?

272
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,199
Because we were lost
and then we found each other.

273
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,834
It makes perfect sense.

274
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,472
Oh. And look at this.

275
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:18,989
A locket.

276
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,396
And that stone in front,
I bet it's quartz.

277
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,632
This must be it. This must be the
actual gift. Open it up. What's inside?

278
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:26,835
Nothing. It's empty.

279
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,000
Of course.

280
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,392
Our life together is just starting

281
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,280
and they want us to fill it
with our memories.

282
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,715
This might be
the best wedding gift ever.

283
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,195
They also left us
a pair of sunglasses

284
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:42,760
because our future's so bright.

285
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,159
They thought of everything.

286
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,111
Oh, look what Halley drew.

287
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,714
Yeah, she made it at daycare.

288
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,155
It's pretty good, huh?

289
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,036
Is it?

290
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,793
Wow, gentile moms are tough.

291
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:06,560
Guys,

292
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,438
I need to show you something,

293
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,876
but you have to promise
not to make fun of me.

294
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,154
Of course.

295
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:20,715
Whoa.

296
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,910
Yeah. I was worried about the date,

297
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,437
so I got my hair colored
to make me feel a little more confident.

298
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:31,070
But that just made me look paler,
so I got a spray tan.

299
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:34,592
Have you tried showering?
Seeing if you could scrub it off?

300
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,270
I did.

301
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,474
You're gonna need some new towels

302
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:41,719
and a bathmat

303
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:44,435
and toilet seat.

304
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,318
I'm picking her up in an hour.

305
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:55,749
What am I gonna do?

306
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,630
You mean what are you gonna
"Oompa Loompa doompety do"?

307
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,756
You said you weren't
gonna make any jokes.

308
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,752
I'm sorry, I'll stop.

309
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,559
It's only a spray tan.
It'll fade in a couple days.

310
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,632
Why don't you cancel
the date and reschedule?

311
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,200
But I was really
looking forward to tonight.

312
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,956
You know what, then go.
Tell her what happened.

313
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,230
Maybe she'll be flattered.

314
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,073
And if not, swing
by the chocolate factory

315
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,117
and see if they're hiring.

316
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,600
What? That wasn't a joke,
that was a legitimate suggestion.

317
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,080
<i>Hello.</i>

318
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,674
- Hey, Dad.
- Rajesh!

319
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,559
What a nice surprise,
calling me on my birthday.

320
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,355
Yes. That's why I'm calling.

321
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:48,839
And what better gift to give you than
the gift of marrying an Indian woman.

322
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,136
Just like you've always wanted.

323
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:53,312
My goodness, Rajesh,
this is exciting news. Who is she?

324
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:54,675
You tell me.

325
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:56,635
What?

326
00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,918
I want you to arrange a marriage for me.

327
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:04,230
I'm just so tired of being single
and I'm finally...

328
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,239
Just I'm ready to settle down.

329
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,836
I can't just call up some girl's dad
and make her marry you.

330
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,119
It's not 2015 anymore.

331
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,474
I know that, but I can't do this
on my own. I need your help.

332
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:21,272
Well, then I'm going to
need your help, too.

333
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,390
If I'm going to find a woman
to set you up with,

334
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,917
you're going to
need to stop instagramming

335
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,754
pictures of you and your dog
wearing matching sweaters.

336
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,760
Fine, if that's what it takes
to show you that I'm serious.

337
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,750
Quick question,
do you mean just Instagram

338
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,240
- or all my social...
- All of them!

339
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,440
Okay, deal.

340
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:42,840
All right,

341
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:44,589
let me ask you a question.

342
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,480
What do you think of this woman?

343
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,155
Oh, my God, she's beautiful.

344
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,920
Is that who you're going to
set me up with?

345
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,351
No! That's who I'm dating.

346
00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,553
But maybe she has an older sister.

347
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:05,919
So, we put a little picture of me

348
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:07,880
and a little picture of Sheldon in it.

349
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,199
In the locket?

350
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,515
Yes.

351
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,515
That was in a lost and found box?

352
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,275
Exactly.

353
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,200
Where we hid it?

354
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,357
You see, really, you gave us
three amazing gifts.

355
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:32,480
You gave us the locket, the adventure
and the realization that Amy and I

356
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:34,916
can do anything
as long as we work together.

357
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,476
- We wrote you a special thank you note.
- Oh.

358
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:42,749
Are those words?

359
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:46,640
No.

360
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:51,270
It's a secret code that
you two get to figure out together.

361
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:58,316
Hint, it's based on Sanskrit, but not
the Sanskrit you're thinking of.

362
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,071
And best of all, you can't
use the Internet to cheat.

363
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,312
Because we locked you out of your Wi-Fi,

364
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,198
and the answer to this
is your new password.

365
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,274
I'm no longer happy.

366
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:18,680
Hey, guys.

367
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,035
Great news.

368
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:21,990
I'm getting married!

369
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,080
- What?
- No.

370
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,957
Well, I haven't met her yet,

371
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,952
but her name is Anu.

372
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,896
My father says she comes
from a good family,

373
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,833
she's in her 30s,
she works in hospitality management.

374
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,640
So, as long as I can get through
six to ten dates

375
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,598
without revealing my true self,

376
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:42,676
this is happening.

377
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,150
I know just what we're
giving them for a wedding gift.

378
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,440
Oh!

379
00:19:58,440 --> 00:19:59,635
Oh, my God!

380
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:01,756
Yeah.

381
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,674
I wanted to look my best for our date,

382
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,473
and I made a series of bad decisions.

383
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:14,071
One of which is hidden by my pants.

384
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:17,480
Wow.

385
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,876
Do you still wanna go out with me?

386
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,076
Absolutely.

387
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,997
Hey, maybe we can go find Nemo together.

388
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:27,870
That's a good one.

389
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,232
Mmm. Do your 63 other crayon friends
know you're out?

390
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,536
Are you just gonna
make fun of me all night?

391
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:35,596
Probably.

392
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,353
Great! So,
what are we thinking, Chinese?

393
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,477
Yeah, I'm in the mood
for orange chicken.