1
00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:05,879
Fellow warriors,
this is Sheldor the Conqueror.

2
00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:07,881
We are about to enter Atzel's fortress.

3
00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:11,885
Now, this is a long run,
so let's do another bladder check.

4
00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:17,975
All right, Barry, we'll wait for you again,
but you really should see a doctor.

5
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:20,728
[BANGING NEARBY]

6
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,898
Sheldor is AFK.

7
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:31,613
Penny, are you experiencing
some sort of difficulty?

8
00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:34,283
Yes, I can't get my stupid door open.

9
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:38,620
You appear to have put your car key
in the door lock. Are you aware of that?

10
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:40,789
Yeah.

11
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:43,042
All right, then.

12
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:47,421
PENNY:
Damn it, damn it, damn it.

13
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:50,632
Would it be possible for you
to do this a little more quietly?

14
00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:54,553
- I can't get the damn key out.
- That's not surprising.

15
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:58,098
That Baldwin lock on your door uses
traditional edge-mounted cylinders...

16
00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:02,394
...whereas the key for your Volkswagen
uses a center-cylinder system.

17
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,481
Thank you, Sheldon.

18
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,192
You're welcome.

19
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:12,237
Point of inquiry: Why did you
put your car key in the door lock?

20
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,490
I'll tell you why.
Today I had an audition.

21
00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:17,576
It took me two hours to get there.
I waited an hour for my turn.

22
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,913
Before I could start, they told me
I look too Midwest for the part.

23
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,290
Too Midwest.
What the hell does that even mean?

24
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:28,253
The American Midwest was mostly settled
by Scandinavian and Germanic peoples...

25
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:31,131
- ...who have characteristic facial...
- I know what it means.

26
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:35,344
God, I have been in L.A.
for almost two years now.

27
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,680
I haven't gotten a single acting job.
I've accomplished nothing.

28
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:41,934
Haven't gotten a raise at work.
Haven't even had sex in six months.

29
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:47,064
And when I was walking up those stairs
a fly flew in my mouth and I ate it.

30
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:51,026
Well, actually, insects are a dietary staple
in many cultures.

31
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,528
They're almost pure protein.

32
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:56,031
Oh, son of a bitch.

33
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,575
The condensation on your frozen foods...

34
00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:01,370
...weakened the structural integrity
of the bag.

35
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:09,169
But returning to your key conundrum,
you should call a locksmith.

36
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,213
- Have him open the door for you.
- I did.

37
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,507
He said he'll get here when he gets here.

38
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:17,261
You're frustrated because he phrased
his reply in a meaningless tautology?

39
00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:21,473
No. I am frustrated
because I am a failure at everything...

40
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,893
...and my breath smells like fly.

41
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:26,311
[CRYING]

42
00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:29,982
There, there.

43
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:40,200
Would you prefer to wait
in our apartment?

44
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:43,829
No, I'd rather sit on this freezing floor,
sobbing like a 3-year-old.

45
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,456
All right, then.

46
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,459
For God's sake.

47
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,840
Just when I think I've gotten
the hang of sarcasm.

48
00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:22,075
Make yourself comfortable.

49
00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:24,411
Not there.

50
00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:27,039
[SCOFFS]

51
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,692
Sheldor is back online.

52
00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:58,612
Sheldor?

53
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,948
The Conqueror.

54
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,200
What are you doing?

55
00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:05,911
AFK.

56
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:10,374
I'm playing "Age of Conan,"
an online multiplayer game...

57
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:13,710
...set in the universe of Robert E. Howard's
Conan the Barbarian.

58
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,545
Oh.

59
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,383
Sheldor back online.

60
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,427
- What's AFK?
- AFK.

61
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:27,182
Away from keyboard.

62
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,226
Oh, I see.

63
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:32,312
What does that stand for?

64
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:39,236
Oh, I see.

65
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:42,906
Yes, but what does it stand for?

66
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:59,131
And just click on the enchanted boots
to put them on.

67
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,509
I don't know.
Can I see them in another color?

68
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:04,720
Just click on them.

69
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:09,599
Now, congratulations,
you are now a level-three warrior.

70
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:12,811
- What's going on?
- Guess what? I'm a level-three warrior.

71
00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:16,732
Do you know there are groceries
outside of your apartment?

72
00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:18,317
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shh.

73
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:23,447
I only bring it up because your ice cream's
melting and it's starting to attract wildlife.

74
00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:26,658
Uh-huh. Do I stay in the jungle
or go towards the beach?

75
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:29,953
- Doesn't matter, you're looking for treasure.
- Okay.

76
00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,666
- Wait, where are you going?
- Go ahead. You're okay.

77
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:38,086
If you run into crocodiles,
just kick them with your boots.

78
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,632
Wanna catch me up?

79
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,762
Well, uh, let's see. She attempted
to open her apartment with her car key...

80
00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:50,349
...because her face is overly Midwestern.
Uh...

81
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,143
She hasn't had sex in six months.

82
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,645
And she ate a fly.

83
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:58,899
Uh-huh.

84
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,985
Seriously, six months?

85
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,196
Oh, my God, a treasure chest. I'm rich.

86
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:07,991
Level three and she thinks she's rich.

87
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:13,205
What a newb.

88
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:18,251
Okay, we're all set.

89
00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,128
Let her rip.

90
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,310
- Hi.
- Hey, check it out.

91
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,229
It's just corn starch and water.

92
00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:43,318
They make up a non-Newtonian fluid
which is liquid...

93
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:46,113
...but solid under the percussive action
of the speaker.

94
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:49,533
That's what makes it get all funky.

95
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:53,787
Yeah, okay.

96
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,831
Listen, I need to talk to Sheldon.

97
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,796
No, that's what she said, Sheldon.

98
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:06,883
Okay, I bought the game and I've been
exploring the Island of Tortage.

99
00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:08,969
I can't figure how to pass the guard.

100
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,847
- Do you have the enchanted sword?
- I have a bronze dagger.

101
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:13,890
You can't slay the guard with a dagger.

102
00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:17,227
Lord, it's like the car key
in your apartment door all over again.

103
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:20,313
- How do I get the sword?
- Have you been to the Temple of Mitra?

104
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:23,191
- Is that the place on the hill with the priest?
- No, it's...

105
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:24,985
Oh, for God's sakes, give me.

106
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,820
Thank you. I really appreciate this.

107
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,905
You have to learn to do these things.

108
00:07:29,073 --> 00:07:31,366
Don't patronize me. Just get the sword.

109
00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:35,537
What the frak?

110
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:39,541
Beats me.
They were playing all last night too.

111
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:43,044
It's like some kind
of weird comic-book crossover.

112
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:46,882
Like if Hulk
were dating Peppermint Patty.

113
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:49,217
I always thought Peppermint Patty
was a lesbian.

114
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:50,552
No, that's Marcie.

115
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,180
Peppermint Patty's just athletic.

116
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:56,016
There you go, one enchanted sword.

117
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:59,311
All right, give me, give me.
I wanna kill the guard captain.

118
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:05,901
That girl needs to get a life.

119
00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:16,411
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

120
00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:19,998
Sheldon.

121
00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:29,216
- Sheldon.
- Danger. Danger.

122
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:30,884
No danger, it's me, Penny.

123
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:34,221
Listen, I got to level 25
and reached Purple Lotus Swamp, right?

124
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:36,056
- You're in my bedroom.
- Yeah.

125
00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:40,268
- Leonard gave me an emergency key.
- People can't be in my bedroom.

126
00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:43,688
- Can we go talk in the living room?
- I'm not wearing pajama bottoms.

127
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:47,859
- Why not?
- I spilled grape juice.

128
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:49,694
Well, wear different pajamas.

129
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,739
Can't wear different pajamas.
These are my Monday pajamas.

130
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,659
Penny, people cannot be in my bedroom.

131
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:59,120
Just tell me, is it too soon
to join a quest to the Black Castle?

132
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:02,332
You were invited on a quest
to the Black Castle?

133
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:06,545
By some guys in Budapest. I'm just not
sure it's the right move for my character.

134
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:09,673
Of course it's not. You're only a level 25.

135
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,343
These Hungarians are just using you
for dragon fodder.

136
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:18,473
Really? Boy, you'd think you could trust
a horde of Hungarian Barbarians.

137
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,519
SHELDON:
Please, Penny, enough. I have to sleep.

138
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:27,649
PENNY:
Okay, well, you were great. Thanks.

139
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,488
Oh. Listen, don't go in Sheldon's room.
He's not wearing bottoms.

140
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,579
[KNOCKING]

141
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,164
Sheldon, you wanna catch me up again?

142
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,253
People, I am very busy today.

143
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:51,840
I realize that, but it is your job
as head of the department...

144
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,092
...to mediate all intra-departmental
disputes.

145
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,511
University Policy Manual, Chapter 4,
subsection 2:

146
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,180
"Mediation
of Intra-departmental Disputes."

147
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:00,348
[SCOFFS]

148
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:02,017
Fine.

149
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:05,854
Dr. Winkle, what colorful name
did you call Dr. Cooper this time?

150
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,356
Dr. Dumb-ass.

151
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,028
Dr. Cooper, Dr. Winkle apologizes.

152
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:14,613
- No, she doesn't.
- No, I don't.

153
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:19,701
Here's the problem. I was clearly signed up
to use the mainframe in Buckman 204...

154
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,787
...and Dr. Winkle just ripped
the sign-up sheet off the wall.

155
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:25,373
It wasn't an official sign-up sheet.
He printed it...

156
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:29,044
...and he put his name down
on every slot for the next six months.

157
00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:31,796
If it is a crime to ensure
the university's resources...

158
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,758
...are not being squandered
chasing subatomic wild geese...

159
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,593
...then I plead guilty.

160
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,428
[PHONE RINGING]

161
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,056
Oh, Penny.

162
00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:44,017
- You need to get that, Dr. Cooper?
- God, no.

163
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:46,853
Don't turn it off. You might miss
your call from Nobel...

164
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:50,732
...letting you know you've been nominated
as dumb-ass laureate of the year.

165
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:55,278
Oh, yeah, well,
you wouldn't even be nominated.

166
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:04,245
I have a series of important multi-loop
calculations and simulations to run.

167
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,373
She's reducing irrelevant data,
making a mock...

168
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:07,582
[PHONE RINGS]

169
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,209
Excuse me.

170
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,336
Gablehauser.

171
00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:13,588
It's for you.

172
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:18,593
Hello?

173
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,429
Penny, this is not a good time.

174
00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:25,433
No, I told you, you're not prepared
for the Sanctum of Burning Souls.

175
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:31,231
You need to be in a group of at least five
and one should be a level 35 healer.

176
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:33,024
No, I can't log on and help you.

177
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,986
We'll talk when I get home.

178
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,786
I'm not getting the computing time,
am I?

179
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:46,955
Dumb-ass.

180
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,628
Leonard, you have to do something
about Penny.

181
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,840
She is interfering with my sleep.
She is interfering with my work.

182
00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:59,300
If I had another significant aspect
of my life...

183
00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:01,845
...I'm sure she'd be interfering
with that too.

184
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:06,391
Why should I do something?
You introduced her to online gaming.

185
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:10,395
Well, yes, but you're the one
who said hello to her when she moved in.

186
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:14,482
If you'd simply restrained yourself,
none of this would be happening.

187
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:19,320
- Well, just tell her to leave you alone.
- I did. I told her. I texted her.

188
00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:21,364
I sent out a very emphatic Twitter.

189
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:25,326
I changed my Facebook status to "Sheldon
wishes Penny would leave him alone."

190
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:27,203
I don't know what else to do.

191
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,998
Well, what am I supposed to do?

192
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,500
If you don't figure something out,
I warn you...

193
00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:36,004
...I shall become very difficult
to live with.

194
00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:42,010
You mean, up until now we've been
experiencing the happy fun-time Sheldon?

195
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:44,637
- Yes.
- I'll go talk to her.

196
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:48,892
No, Fritz, I need you on my flank.

197
00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:50,351
No, I don't know German.

198
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:51,686
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

199
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:53,897
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

200
00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:57,525
- Hey, Penny?
- Busy.

201
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,361
Yeah, I see that.
Shouldn't you be at work?

202
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:01,905
I don't work on Mondays.

203
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:04,115
It's Thursday.

204
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:10,580
- Listen, Penny...
- Ugh. Queen Penelope AFK. What?

205
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,626
Okay. Uh...

206
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:15,919
Here's the thing.

207
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:20,340
Um, sometimes people, good people,
you know, they start playing these games.

208
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:24,552
They find themselves, through no fault
of their own, you know, kind of addicted.

209
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,597
Yeah, get to the point.
I'm about to level up here.

210
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:31,059
If a person doesn't have a sense
of achievement in their real life...

211
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:35,647
...it's easy to lose themselves in a world
where a false sense of accomplishment...

212
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:39,234
Yeah, jabber, jabber, jabber.
Okay, boys, Queen Penelope's back online.

213
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,320
Penny, you've got...

214
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,572
...Cheetos in your hair.

215
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:48,368
Oh, thanks.

216
00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:53,873
Wow.

217
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:03,258
LEONARD:
Hey, Penny, it's me again, Leonard.

218
00:14:03,592 --> 00:14:04,843
PENNY:
Leonard, I said, not now.

219
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,262
LEONARD: I'm just a little concerned
about you and...

220
00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:08,763
PENNY:
I said, not now.

221
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,849
LEONARD:
Okay, maybe later.

222
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,769
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

223
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,939
- Hey, what's with him?
- Penny's been keeping him up at night.

224
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:21,317
Me too.

225
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:27,657
But probably in a different way.

226
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:31,286
She's really hooked on "Age of Conan."
She's playing non-stop.

227
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:33,454
Oh, yes, online gaming addiction.

228
00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:37,792
There's nothing worse than having
that multiplayer monkey on your back.

229
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:42,130
- Sheldon, wake up.
- Danger, danger.

230
00:14:43,173 --> 00:14:46,134
Afternoon, men. Sheldon.

231
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:49,804
Oh, yeah, well, your attempt
at juvenilizing me...

232
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:55,143
...by excluding me from the set of adult
males just... Oh, I'm too tired to do this.

233
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:59,647
Right. I heard you've been pulling
all-nighters with Middle-Earth Barbie.

234
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:04,402
She comes into my room.
No one's supposed to be in my room.

235
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,238
I would postulate
she's escaping into the online world...

236
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,490
...to compensate
for her sexual frustration.

237
00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:10,909
I do that too.

238
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:16,164
But probably in a different way.

239
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:18,917
That's not what she's doing, Leslie.

240
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:22,670
She's trying to shore up her self-esteem.
It has nothing to do with sex.

241
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:24,255
Everything has to do with sex.

242
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:27,175
Mm. Testify.

243
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,011
I'm not touching that.

244
00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:35,391
- Leslie, you are way off base here.
- Now, hang on, Leonard.

245
00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:39,604
While I have no respect for Leslie as a
scientist or a human being for that matter...

246
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:43,191
...we have to concede
her undeniable expertise...

247
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:47,862
...in the interrelated fields of promiscuity
and general sluttiness.

248
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,989
Thank you.

249
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:53,201
My point is that Tinkerbell
just needs to get her some.

250
00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:57,872
Some what?
Oh, yes, some sexual intercourse.

251
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,583
I'll take the bullet.

252
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:06,547
- Excuse me, this whole idea's insane.
- Enough debate. I'm going to take action.

253
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:09,342
Excuse me.

254
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:13,054
Are you currently involved
in a sexual relationship?

255
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:16,557
- No.
- Would you like to be?

256
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,269
Uh...

257
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,397
Sure, why not?

258
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,399
- Sheldon...
- Yip, yip, yip.

259
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:28,403
Can I have your phone number?

260
00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,155
Uh...

261
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,282
Yeah.

262
00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:35,076
Yeah.

263
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,920
There, problem solved.

264
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:49,841
Dumb-ass.

265
00:16:57,641 --> 00:17:00,768
Okay, I'm at the gate to the Treasury
of the Ancients. I'm going in.

266
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:03,521
- Stay close to the wall. Avoid the mummies.
- Got it.

267
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:08,276
I must say, you're playing very well
for a woman of 23?

268
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,278
- Twenty-two.
- Right, 22.

269
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:17,785
Here come the mummies. Which spell do I
use? The hateful strike or the frenzy stance?

270
00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:21,748
- What happened to your group?
- Dumped them. They're a bunch of wussies.

271
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,125
Frenzy stance.

272
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:26,711
Frenzy, frenzy, frenzy.

273
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:31,799
So listen,
would you describe your ideal vacation...

274
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:36,804
...as a wild adventure to unknown lands
or staying at home with a good book?

275
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:39,682
- Wait, what?
- These are market-research questions.

276
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:42,643
I'm filling out the online registration
for your game.

277
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:44,479
Oh, okay, wild adventure.

278
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,522
Oh, frenzy stance isn't working.

279
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:49,650
- Die, you undead mummy, die!
- Drink a healing potion.

280
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:51,736
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

281
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:55,615
Anyhow, on a scale of one to five...

282
00:17:55,783 --> 00:18:00,787
...with one being, "always initiated by him"
and five being, "always initiated by you"...

283
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:04,415
...how do you prefer
your sexual encounters to begin?

284
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,375
That's on the registration?

285
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,753
Oh, yes, it's quite extensive.

286
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,172
If we complete it,
you get a free expansion pack.

287
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,174
Seventy-five additional quests.

288
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:16,594
Oh, awesome. Okay, I totally like to initiate.
I'm a big old five.

289
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:18,846
Good to know.

290
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:21,265
Big old five.

291
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,527
- Hello.
- Hi.

292
00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:34,028
Leonard, this is Tom.

293
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:38,866
Hi, Tom. Sheldon.

294
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:47,708
Didn't I explain to you
about your little mistake in the cafeteria?

295
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:51,212
Yes, you were very clear,
as was everyone else at the table.

296
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:57,552
Tom, however, has been chosen by science
as a suitable mate for Penny.

297
00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,053
Chosen by science.

298
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,639
Well, what passes for science
on dating sites.

299
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:06,811
They may claim to use heuristic algorithms,
but it may well be hokum.

300
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,939
You got Penny to sign up
for online dating?

301
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:14,402
No, no, of course not.
No, see, I used trickery and deceit.

302
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,655
This is bad.

303
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,824
Tom is a paramedic
with the fire department.

304
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,284
He's going to med school.

305
00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:26,247
Uh, he likes the outdoors
and, uh, strong women who initiate sex.

306
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:29,333
Really, really bad.

307
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:34,755
I'm surprised you struck out with Penny.
Apparently, she's a big old five.

308
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,594
- Sheldon, what do you want?
- Oh, good, you got my note.

309
00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:42,805
Penny, I'd like you to meet Tom.
Uh, Penny, this is Tom.

310
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:45,433
- Tom, may I present Penny.
- Hi, Penny.

311
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:49,854
Hi, as long as I'm here, I'm on a quest with
newbs, don't know what they're doing.

312
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,273
Got one assassin, three spell casters,
no tank.

313
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:54,275
- Can we talk later?
- No, I need you now.

314
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,485
Wouldn't you prefer
to socialize with Tom...

315
00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:59,488
...who is a sexually passive
outdoorsman?

316
00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:05,286
- Whatever, I'll figure it out myself.
- Bye, Penny.

317
00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:10,458
I'm sorry, dude,
she didn't look anything like her picture.

318
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:14,295
They never do.

319
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,553
HOWARD:
Hello, fair Penny.

320
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:26,140
PENNY: Who are you?
HOWARD: It is I, Sir Howard of Wolowitz.

321
00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:30,436
Can I interest you
in an afternoon of spirited questing...

322
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:33,147
...followed by a flagon of ale
at yon virtual tavern?

323
00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:35,316
PENNY:
Yeah, sure, why not?

324
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:40,947
Oh, my God, I need help.

325
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,396
[English - US - SDH]