1
00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:04,086
Oh, look. Saturn 3 is on.

2
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:07,464
I don't wanna watch Saturn 3.
Deep Space Nine is better.

3
00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:10,509
How is Deep Space Nine
better than Saturn 3?

4
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:14,263
Simple subtraction
will tell you it's six better.

5
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:17,975
Compromise. Watch Babylon 5.

6
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,184
[CHUCKLES]

7
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:22,271
In what sense is that a compromise?

8
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:26,567
Well, five is partway between three...
Never mind.

9
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,403
I'll tell you what.
How about we go Rock, Paper, Scissors?

10
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,030
Ooh, I don't think so.

11
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:34,450
Anecdotal evidence suggests
that in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors...

12
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:38,120
...players familiar with each other will tie
75 to 80 percent of the time...

13
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,289
...due to the limited number of outcomes.

14
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:44,626
I suggest
Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock.

15
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,088
- What?
- It's very simple.

16
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:50,674
Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock...

17
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,427
...rock crushes lizard,
lizard poisons Spock...

18
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:56,221
...Spock smashes scissors,
scissors decapitates lizard...

19
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,640
...lizard eats paper,
paper disproves Spock...

20
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:03,604
...Spock vaporizes rock,
and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

21
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,275
Okay, I think I got it.

22
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,988
Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock.

23
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,531
Oh...

24
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,664
Hello, boys.

25
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,501
Ahoy, matey.

26
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,503
Noticed the eye patch, did you?

27
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:31,173
It's all part of a technique
I've been studying for picking up women.

28
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:33,217
You employ a visual display...

29
00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:38,097
...designed to make yourself
distinctive and memorable.

30
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,974
Oh, yes, like the male peacock
with brilliant plumage...

31
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:44,353
...or the rutting baboon
with engorged hindquarters.

32
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:48,190
Or in this case,
the bar mitzvah boy with pink eye.

33
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,068
Mock me if you will, but it works.

34
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,070
You show up in something distinctive...

35
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,447
...scope out your target
and toss out some negs.

36
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:58,283
- What are negs?
- A neg is a negative compliment...

37
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:01,036
...that throws a pretty woman
off her game, like:

38
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:05,624
"Normally, I'm not turned on by big teeth,
but on you they work."

39
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:09,545
I got a whole list of them.
Who wants to be my wingman?

40
00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:13,215
You're not gonna need a wingman.
You're gonna need a paramedic.

41
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:16,635
Howard, your scooter's blocking my car.

42
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,304
Oh, did you get pink eye again?

43
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,517
Step one: she notices the eye patch.

44
00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:28,230
May I say, Penny, not a lot of women
could look as hot as you do...

45
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,983
...with such greasy hair.

46
00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:42,369
Yeah, just move your stupid scooter before
I pick it up and throw it in the dumpster.

47
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,580
[DOOR SLAMS]

48
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:46,915
Ow.

49
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:13,275
[MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

50
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:17,112
Yeah, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch
the Clone Wars TV series...

51
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,823
...until I've seen the Clone Wars movie.

52
00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:24,494
I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me
in the order he intended.

53
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:27,873
Well, I wanna watch it now.

54
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,833
Then I believe we've arrived...

55
00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:34,004
...at another quintessential Rock, Paper,
Scissors, Lizard, Spock moment.

56
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,136
Watch whatever you want.

57
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:43,972
I saw what you did there.

58
00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,141
What'd I do?

59
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,810
[PHONE RINGS]

60
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,565
Hello? Hey, Howard.

61
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,359
What's wrong?

62
00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:57,694
Uh, okay. Okay, we'll be right there.

63
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,739
- What happened?
- Howard's at the Mars-rover lab.

64
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,950
He says he's in trouble. DEFCON 5.

65
00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:06,870
DEFCON 5? Well, there's no need to rush.

66
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,040
- What?
- DEFCON 5 means no danger.

67
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,042
DEFCON 1 is a crisis.

68
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,211
How can five not be worse than one?

69
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,213
Well, Star Trek V, worse than 1.

70
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:21,218
First of all, that's a comparison of quality,
not intensity.

71
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:26,098
Secondly, Star Trek I is orders of
magnitude worse than Star Trek V.

72
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,307
Are you joking?

73
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:30,519
Star Trek V is the standard
against which all badness is measured.

74
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:31,728
No, no, no.

75
00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:35,232
Star Trek V has specific failures
in writing and direction...

76
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,484
...while Star Trek I fails across the board.

77
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:40,195
Art direction, costuming,
music, sound editing.

78
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:43,782
You know what? Can we just
forget I said "DEFCON" and go?

79
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:47,494
Star Trek V.

80
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:52,332
SHELDON: Will you at least stipulate
that Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home...

81
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,251
...is inarguably the best?

82
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:57,546
I have three words for you:
Wrath of Khan.

83
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,757
- Thank God you're here.
- What's the emergency?

84
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:03,969
I got the Mars rover stuck in a ditch.

85
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:06,221
- Where?
- On a dusty highway...

86
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:09,266
...just outside Bakersfield.
Where do you think? On Mars.

87
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:10,684
[DOOR OPENS]

88
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:14,438
- Howard, is everything okay?
- Yeah, baby, I'll be right in.

89
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:18,650
You brought a girl
to the Mars-rover control room?

90
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,153
Yeah, I picked her up in the bar.
She's a doctor.

91
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,487
One free barium enema...

92
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:25,198
...and my mother won't care
she's not Jewish.

93
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,328
Wait a minute, so the eye patch
and the insults worked?

94
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:32,956
No, there were three other guys
with eye patches. It was a fiasco.

95
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:38,503
What did work was, "How'd you like to visit
a secret government facility?"

96
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,672
So, what exactly do you want us to do?

97
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:45,010
You help me get the rover out, and you get
Stephanie out before somebody notices.

98
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,803
She doesn't exactly have clearance.

99
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:49,556
Really? They don't let strange women
from honky-tonks...

100
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:52,976
...play with $200 million
government projects on distant planets?

101
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:57,189
Yes, I was bad. Maybe she'll spank me.
Can we please move on?

102
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,611
Hey, Howard, it's getting late,
so do I get to drive this thing or what?

103
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,364
Yeah, no, I'm sorry,
but something's come up.

104
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,366
Kind of a Mars rover...

105
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:11,119
Mars-rover-can-Howard-come-over...

106
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:14,664
...kind of situation.

107
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,336
So my friend Leonard
is gonna take you home.

108
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:22,005
Oh, okay. Let's go, friend Leonard.

109
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:23,673
- Okay.
- I'll call you.

110
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,301
STEPHAN IE:
Yeah. So are you a scientist like Howard?

111
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:29,429
LEONARD:
No one's a scientist like Howard.

112
00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:32,682
My mother is so gonna love her.

113
00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:36,895
How nice. Maybe they can carpool
when they visit you in federal prison.

114
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:47,322
I'm sorry, I totally interrupted you.
What were you saying?

115
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:50,117
- Just said Howard's a terrific guy.
- Yeah.

116
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,912
He's got a great sense of humor.

117
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,706
He loves his mother a lot.

118
00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:58,750
Some people say too much.

119
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:04,005
- I really like that you're such a loyal friend.
- Yeah, I am loyal.

120
00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,216
You know, if you look at the big picture.

121
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:14,307
Just, uh, out of curiosity,
did he ever have a shot with you?

122
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:17,519
Are you insane?
The guy was wearing an eye patch.

123
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:22,732
- So then why did you...?
- He said that I could drive a car on Mars.

124
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,277
- Got it.
- Yeah.

125
00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:29,030
So can I see you again?

126
00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:31,658
You're not done seeing me now.

127
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,035
LEONARD:
Hm.

128
00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:35,787
Cool.

129
00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:39,875
[KEYS CLICKING]

130
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:42,711
Anything?

131
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,338
Actually, I was just checking my e-mail.

132
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,759
But, uh, no, the rover is not responding.

133
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:53,263
I believe the appropriate metaphor here
involves a river of excrement...

134
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:57,392
...and a Native American water vessel
without any means of propulsion.

135
00:07:57,768 --> 00:07:59,936
Hang on, there's gotta be other options.

136
00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:02,522
You could try calling AAA.

137
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:06,610
But based on NASA's latest timetable,
they won't get there for 35 years.

138
00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:12,741
Plus, I understand you have to be next to
the vehicle with your card when they arrive.

139
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:13,992
Oh, snap.

140
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,202
[CHUCKLES]

141
00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:16,411
Snap what?

142
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,290
- Okay, I guess we have to turn to plan B.
- What's plan B?

143
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:25,086
Erase the hard drives, grab the tapes, wipe
our fingerprints off every surface and run.

144
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:26,963
Why wasn't that plan A?

145
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:32,594
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: A NASA spokesman
states that due to the loss of data...

146
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,597
...they will most likely be unable
to determine the cause...

147
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,433
...of the Mars rover's malfunction.

148
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:43,313
Thank God for plan B.

149
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,858
Howard, didn't you say
you worked on the Mars rover?

150
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,236
No, you're mistaken.

151
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:50,946
Yeah, when we first met.

152
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:54,115
You said that if I went out with you
I could drive a car on Mars.

153
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:59,621
I don't know what you're talking about.

154
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,414
LEONARD:
Psst?

155
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,125
Will you all excuse me?

156
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:07,420
Leonard is signaling
that he'd like to talk to me in private.

157
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:11,383
No. Yeah, I remember specifically.

158
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:16,346
You started by asking if I was from Mars
because my ass was out of this world.

159
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,351
Well, that does sound like me, but no.

160
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:23,812
SHELDON:
Is there some problem?

161
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:27,983
Yeah, um, listen,
I have to kind of sneak out for a while.

162
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:31,444
- All right. Goodbye.
- No, wait.

163
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:34,197
If anyone asks you where I went,
you don't know.

164
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:37,284
- Where are you going?
- I can't tell you that.

165
00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:39,744
Well, who would ask me?

166
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,998
I can't tell you that either.

167
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,876
You brought me here to inform me
you can't tell me where you're going.

168
00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,754
And you can't tell me who might ask?

169
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:54,009
Yeah, I really didn't think this through.

170
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,971
- Leonard, a moment.
- What?

171
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,473
If someone...
And we don't know who this would be.

172
00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:03,059
...does ask where you've gone,
what should I say?

173
00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,478
I don't know.
Tell them I went to the office.

174
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:07,397
- Are you going to the office?
- No.

175
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:11,776
- Well, then how can I say it convincingly?
- Just say, "Leonard went to the office."

176
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:16,114
All right. Leonard went to the office.

177
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:22,662
What is...? No, not like that.

178
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,581
Just "Leonard went to the office."

179
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:28,126
Would have worked better if you
told me you were going to the office.

180
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,502
I'm going to the office.

181
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,255
See, why don't I believe you?

182
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,469
[MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

183
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,680
- I'm going out for a while.
- Okay.

184
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,311
[DOOR CLOSES]

185
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,859
Doesn't anyone wanna know
where he's going?

186
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,196
Okay, where is he going?

187
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:59,658
Leonard is going to the office.

188
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,633
- So how was work today?
- Busy.

189
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:21,179
I removed an appendix, a gall bladder
and about a foot and a half of bowel.

190
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,015
I'm hoping that was three different guys.

191
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:25,350
[CHUCKLES]

192
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,936
No, just the one.

193
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,939
He didn't make it.

194
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,858
So how was your day?

195
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:38,530
You know, I'm a physicist,
so I thought about stuff.

196
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:43,535
- That's it?
- I wrote some of it down.

197
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,869
[LAUGHS]

198
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,746
- Are you done eating?
- Yeah.

199
00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:48,581
Oh, good.

200
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:55,296
If I knew you were waiting,
I would have swallowed that lasagna whole.

201
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:56,965
[PHONE RINGS]

202
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,801
STEPHANIE [ON RECORDING]:
You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett.

203
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,010
Leave a message.

204
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:02,220
[PHONE BEEPS]

205
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,305
HOWARD:
Hey, Steph, it's me again, Howard.

206
00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:07,892
If you're free Friday, maybe we could
have something to eat at my place.

207
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,937
My mom cooks a hell of a brisket.

208
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,023
Let me know. It's Howard.

209
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,567
[CLICKS]

210
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:19,487
- I've had her brisket. Melts in your mouth.
- Mm-hm.

211
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:27,162
Maybe we should think about
going to the bedroom.

212
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:31,833
That's a good idea, because there's a bed
there, and I'm very, very, very pro-bed.

213
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,210
[PHONE RINGS]

214
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:37,464
STEPHANIE: You've reached
Dr. Stephanie Barnett. Leave a message.

215
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:38,673
[PHONE BEEPS]

216
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,134
HOWARD:
Hey, it's me again.

217
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:45,680
Just wanna let you know the head count
for dinner Friday has gone up.

218
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:49,726
My Aunt Betty and Uncle Elliot are coming
in from Palm Springs.

219
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:54,689
Oh, and if anybody should ask,
you're half Jewish on your mother's side.

220
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:58,318
Okay, call me. It's Howard.

221
00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,736
[CLICKS]

222
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:03,573
Don't you think you should tell him
you're not interested?

223
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:06,743
You want me to stop
and call him back right now?

224
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,703
Dear God, no.

225
00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:12,540
STEPHANIE [GIGGLING]:
Oh, Leonard.

226
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:13,750
[LEONARD LAUGHING]

227
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,960
[PHONE RINGS]

228
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:19,214
STEPHANIE: You've reached
Dr. Stephanie Barnett. Leave a message.

229
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,381
[PHONE BEEPS]

230
00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:24,052
HOWARD:
Hey, it's me again. Howard.

231
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:28,097
Listen, my cousins from Fort Lauderdale
are flying in to meet you...

232
00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:32,143
...so that means we're gonna have to
move the dinner to a restaurant.

233
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:36,397
MRS. WOLOWITZ [SHOUTING OVER PHONE]:
Tell her we're going to the Olive Garden.

234
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:39,567
I have a coupon from the paper.

235
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:44,155
HOWARD:
We're not going to the Olive Garden, Ma.

236
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:48,910
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Oh, Mr. Big-Shot with his Red Lobster.

237
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:53,081
HOWARD: I'll call you back
when we firm up the details.

238
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,750
It's Howard.

239
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,590
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.

240
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,384
- New shirts?
- Yeah, a couple.

241
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,427
PENNY: Nice.
- Thank you.

242
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:08,304
So who's the girl?

243
00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:12,100
- I'm sorry?
- Well, last time you bought a new shirt...

244
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,518
...was when we were dating.

245
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,771
So, what we did was in fact dating?

246
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,358
Well, yeah, we did have a date.

247
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,610
Exactly. Thank you.

248
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:27,115
Do me a favor, tell Koothrappali that
next time you see him.

249
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,367
So who is she?

250
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:32,787
- Oh, she's a doctor.
- Oh, nice.

251
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:36,332
A "doctor" doctor,
or a you kind of doctor?

252
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:39,460
"Doctor" doctor. Surgical resident.

253
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:41,462
Smart, pretty.

254
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,632
Let me ask you something.

255
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,636
If your friend thinks
he's dating someone...

256
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:51,306
...but he's not, because in fact,
you're dating her...

257
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,224
...does that make you a bad person?

258
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,476
- Well, that depends.
- On what?

259
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:57,812
Is that friend Wolowitz?

260
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,649
- Yeah.
- Screw him, you're fine.

261
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:07,989
- Are you sure?
- Well, have you slept with her yet?

262
00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:12,076
You dog.

263
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:14,495
Good for you.

264
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,582
- Does that change things?
- No.

265
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:22,503
- So why'd you ask?
- I'm nosy. See you.

266
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,345
MRS. WOLOWITZ [SHOUTING]:
Howard, get the door!

267
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:34,265
HOWARD [SHOUTING]: Really? Is that
what you do when someone knocks?

268
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,435
Thank you, I had no idea!

269
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:43,524
[IN NORMAL TONE] Hey, buddy.
What brings you to my little slice of hell?

270
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:46,778
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Who is it?
- It's Leonard!

271
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,322
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
You're gonna have to play outside!

272
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:53,034
I'm not dressed to receive!

273
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,370
No one cares, Ma!

274
00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:57,246
So, what's up?

275
00:15:57,873 --> 00:16:00,458
Listen, I need to talk to you
about something.

276
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,585
[CELL PHONE RINGS]

277
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,420
Momentito.

278
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,547
Hello?

279
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:10,134
Oh, Stephanie, thanks for calling me back.
I was worried.

280
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,554
Oh.

281
00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:16,641
Uh-huh.

282
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,519
Uh-huh.

283
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:22,146
Uh-huh.

284
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:26,401
No, I understand.
Sure, we can be friends. Absolutely.

285
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:27,986
Thanks for calling.

286
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,905
Yeah, you have a nice day too.

287
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:33,449
You are dead to me.

288
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:42,041
Okay, who gets the extra dumpling?

289
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,965
Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock.

290
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:55,430
Okay, one of us is going to have to stop
putting up Spock.

291
00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:56,931
How do we decide that?

292
00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,726
Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock.

293
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,144
[ALL GRUNT]

294
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,647
- Oh, hey, guys.
SHELDON & RAJESH: Hey.

295
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:07,817
Hi, Howard.

296
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,905
- Howard?
- Sheldon.

297
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,324
Howard is employing
a schoolyard paradigm...

298
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:18,953
...in which you are
for all intents and purposes deceased.

299
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,790
He intends to act on this
by not speaking to you...

300
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,418
...feigning an inability to hear you
when you speak...

301
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:28,463
...and otherwise refusing to acknowledge
your existence.

302
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:31,466
That's ridiculous.
Why are you cooperating with him?

303
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:34,302
I don't make the rules, Leonard.

304
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:38,056
Howard, come on. I didn't plan on this.

305
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:42,727
These things just happen.
Usually not to me, but they do happen.

306
00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:46,439
Did someone just feel a cold breeze?

307
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:49,650
I believe this is an extension
of the death metaphor.

308
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:53,112
The cold breeze
is a so-called ectoplasmic issue...

309
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,156
...of a disembodied soul passing by.

310
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:59,118
You know, screw it.
I'm just gonna eat the dumpling.

311
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,121
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

312
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,208
- Oh, hi, Steph.
- Hey.

313
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:07,251
- Come on in.
- Oh, is this a bad time?

314
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:10,505
Yeah, but I don't see a better one
on the horizon, so...

315
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,425
Oh, if it isn't Mrs. Dead-To-Me.

316
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:16,260
Hello, Howard.

317
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,513
- Sheldon?
- I'm sorry, you violated...

318
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,266
...the terms of your metaphor
by acknowledging her existence. I'm out.

319
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,353
He just won't listen to me.

320
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,064
Okay, well, I guess
it'll just be the three of us then.

321
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:31,442
- Yeah. Lisa's gonna be disappointed.
STEPHANIE: Yeah.

322
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,027
Lisa?

323
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:36,114
Yeah, my roommate.
She just went through a bad breakup.

324
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:39,033
I thought she might like to meet
somebody fun like you.

325
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:44,705
Leonard, Stephanie, you're alive.
It's a miracle.

326
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,877
So anyway, Lisa,
I just wanted to tell you again...

327
00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:54,966
...how much I enjoyed the other night,
and again, I'm sorry for how it ended.

328
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:59,011
But again,
if you could let me know about Friday...

329
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:02,723
...my mother needs a head count
so she can know how big a brisket to get.

330
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:04,142
Howard. Look at this.

331
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:05,393
[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV]

332
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:08,646
Anyway, call me. It's Howard.

333
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:13,025
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: It's unclear how
the Mars rover got into the crevice...

334
00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:14,652
...but one thing's certain:

335
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:18,573
The data which it has sent back
contain the first clear indications...

336
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:22,034
...that there may have been life on Mars.

337
00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:24,829
It's a scientific discovery...

338
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,832
...that has staggering implications
for all mankind.

339
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,211
Unfortunately,
we'll never know who's responsible.

340
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:39,510
Son of a bitch.

341
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,289
[English - US - SDH]