1
00:00:02,377 --> 00:00:05,796
[PLAYING RED HOT CH ILI PEPPERS'
"UNDER THE BRIDGE"]

2
00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:11,176
[SINGING]
And I don't ever wanna feel

3
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:12,970
Like I did that day

4
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:16,849
Take me to the place I love

5
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,892
Take me all the way

6
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:22,730
[SINGING IN FALSETTO]
And I don't ever wanna feel

7
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:24,606
Like I did that day

8
00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:26,442
Take me to the place I love...

9
00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:27,651
[SQUEALS]

10
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:28,861
[MUSIC STOPS]

11
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,363
Fellas, please.

12
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:35,367
Penny, come on.
We were just finding our sound.

13
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:40,372
You found it. It's the sound of a cat
being run over by a lawn mower.

14
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,751
Well, I'm really very busy.

15
00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:47,212
Is there any way we can put this off
until I have more time to prepare?

16
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:51,050
Of course,
but, uh, you understand my trepidation.

17
00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:52,801
- What's that about?
- Not a clue.

18
00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,429
Can't we just postpone it till the spring?

19
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,139
Maybe next summer?

20
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,058
This should be fairly easy to deduce.

21
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:02,478
He's holding the phone to his left ear.
Ears do not cross hemispheres.

22
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:05,856
He's using the analytical,
rather than emotional side of the brain...

23
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:09,318
...suggesting that he has
no personal relationship with the caller.

24
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:12,654
No, I didn't realize it had been so long.

25
00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:15,908
Sure. I guess there's no other choice
but to go ahead and do it.

26
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,327
He's referring to an activity
he has done before.

27
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,579
It's unpleasant and needs to be repeated.

28
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:26,168
This suggests some sort of invasive
medical test, like perhaps a colonoscopy.

29
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:29,004
Aren't there any other options?
There's not a lot of room.

30
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:31,590
- It's gonna be uncomfortable.
SHELDON: Yes, yes.

31
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,718
I'm definitely going with colonoscopy.

32
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:36,637
Okay, bye.

33
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:42,184
My mother's coming to visit.

34
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,855
How about that? You were right.

35
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,680
It's out of order.

36
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:24,184
Yes, I can read the sign.
I'm just pondering the implications.

37
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:29,189
I think it implies
that the elevator doesn't work.

38
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,192
Again, I can read the sign.

39
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:36,071
But the sign and tape are covered
with a layer of dust which indicates...

40
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:39,449
...the elevator has been nonfunctional
for an amount of time...

41
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:42,744
...which suggests either a remarkable
passivity among the...

42
00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:46,081
...I assume 24 to 36 residents
of this building...

43
00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:50,169
...based on the number of mailboxes and
given typical urban population density...

44
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,714
...or a shared delusion of functionality.

45
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,551
You must be Leonard's mother.

46
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:01,972
Oh, I don't know if I must be, but yes.

47
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,100
- Uh, I'm Penny, I'm his neighbor.
- Oh, Dr. Beverly Hofstadter.

48
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,768
Oh, nice to meet you.

49
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,147
Oh, you're a hand shaker. Interesting.

50
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,109
Uh, come with me,
I'll walk you to the apartment.

51
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:18,238
Oh, all right. Would you like
to exchange pleasantries on the way?

52
00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:21,074
- Yeah, sure, I guess.
- All right, you start.

53
00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:25,704
I've always been curious.
What was Leonard like when he was little?

54
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:29,249
BEVERLY: Oh, I think you mean young.
He's always been little.

55
00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:31,752
Right.
What was he like when he was young?

56
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,712
You'll have to be more specific.

57
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,132
Oh, um, okay, like five or six.

58
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:45,098
- Five.
- Oh, well, at that age...

59
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:49,311
...he was in what Freud would call the
phallic stage of psychosexual development.

60
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:50,896
An outmoded theory, of course.

61
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:55,567
But the boy did spend most of his waking
hours with a tight grasp on his penis.

62
00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:58,570
Oh, yeah, Leonard mentioned
you were a psychiatrist.

63
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:02,491
Well, that is one of my degrees.
My primary field is neuroscience.

64
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,743
Oh. Well, I'm an actress.

65
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,036
[GIGGLES]

66
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,667
Why?

67
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,211
Ha. What do you mean, why?

68
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:17,673
There were studies that suggest
many who go into the performing arts...

69
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,634
...suffer from an external locus
of identity.

70
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:27,266
Yeah, I don't know what that means.

71
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:31,019
Well, it means you value yourself
only as others value you...

72
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:35,065
...which is often the result
of unmet childhood emotional needs.

73
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:38,652
Oh, well, I had a wonderful childhood.

74
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:40,696
Tell me about it.

75
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:45,409
I know my dad wanted a boy.

76
00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:47,744
[SOBBING]

77
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:53,041
I... I just... I tried being good at sports,
but I hated getting dirty.

78
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,378
And then, I'm assuming,
you entered adolescence.

79
00:04:56,546 --> 00:05:00,215
Uh-huh. He called me slugger
until I got my first training bra...

80
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:04,177
...and then he just stopped
playing catch with me.

81
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:07,681
I wasn't slugger anymore.

82
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,851
Your mother's here.

83
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:21,862
If you want to have intercourse with that
girl, find out what cologne her father wore.

84
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,825
Good to see you, mother.

85
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:30,454
Here's your tea, mother.

86
00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:31,663
- Oolong?
- Yes.

87
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,206
- Loose, not bagged?
- Yes.

88
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:36,043
- Steeped three minutes? Two-percent milk?
- Yes. Yes.

89
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,461
- Warmed separately?
- Yes.

90
00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,713
- One teaspoon sugar? Raw sugar?
- Yes. Yes.

91
00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:43,633
It's cold.

92
00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:49,097
I'll start again.

93
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,768
I have the same problem with him.

94
00:05:55,146 --> 00:06:00,442
My theory is that his lack of focus
stems from an over-developed sex drive.

95
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,070
Oh, I don't know where he got that.

96
00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:05,781
Aside from a pro-forma consummation
of our marriage...

97
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:10,077
...his father and I only had intercourse
for the purposes of reproduction.

98
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,164
That seems a fairly efficient arrangement.

99
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:17,000
Yes, we think so.
We've both done papers on it.

100
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:21,588
Mine from a neuroscientific point of view
and his from an anthropological.

101
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:24,925
Mine, of course,
was the only one worth reading.

102
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,134
Of course.

103
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:29,763
I would very much like
to read about your sex life.

104
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:34,518
Well, it's all online or you can order it
from the Princeton University Press.

105
00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,895
Here's your tea, Mother.

106
00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:39,314
So, what are you guys talking about?

107
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:42,943
The frequency with which your parents
had intercourse.

108
00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:45,695
Swell.

109
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:49,866
If you're lucky, maybe she'll show you
the PowerPoint presentation.

110
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,618
I'm sorry, it's on my other laptop.

111
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,328
[GROANS]

112
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,248
So, Mother...

113
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,000
- ...what's new?
- You'll have to be more specific.

114
00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:02,963
All right. Uh, what's new with you?

115
00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:07,676
Oh, well, I've been having some fascinating
menopausal symptoms recently.

116
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:10,178
Maybe something less personal?

117
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,222
Oh.

118
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,515
Your Uncle Floyd died.

119
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,143
Oh, my God. What happened?

120
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,395
His heart stopped beating.

121
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:20,814
I have to urinate.

122
00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:29,364
What a remarkable woman.

123
00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:33,827
Yeah, I... I thought
you guys might hit it off.

124
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:35,912
I envy you your childhood.

125
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,289
I hate to tell you...

126
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:42,335
...but the only warm memories I have
of my childhood are of my Uncle Floyd.

127
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:46,673
You're clearly misremembering. Your mother
is brilliant, analytical, insightful.

128
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:51,011
I'm betting she never hit you with a Bible
because you wouldn't eat Brussels sprouts.

129
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:54,347
Sheldon, you don't give
your mother enough credit.

130
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:58,059
She's warm, she's loving,
she doesn't glue electrodes to your head...

131
00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:01,438
...to measure your brain waves
while potty training.

132
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,190
You were lucky.

133
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:07,736
When I was a kid, if I wanted an EEG,
I had to attach my own electrodes.

134
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,532
So, Dr. Hofstadter...

135
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:16,870
...Leonard rarely talks about his
incredibly successful brother and sister.

136
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:20,081
- Please don't go there, Howard.
- You know, I understand...

137
00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:25,462
...that unlike Leonard,
they're at the top of their respective fields.

138
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:28,173
Boy, you suck.

139
00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:32,385
Leonard's younger brother, Michael,
is a tenured law professor at Harvard...

140
00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:37,265
...and his sister just successfully grew
a human pancreas in an adolescent gibbon.

141
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:41,144
So she's close to curing diabetes?

142
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:44,439
Why else would you grow
a pancreas in a teenaged gibbon?

143
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,400
Wow, you must be very proud.

144
00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:49,903
Why? They're not my accomplishments.

145
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:53,114
I have to urinate.

146
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,079
- Why are you doing this?
- You know the rules.

147
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,332
You brought your mom to work.
You must suffer.

148
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,792
[HOWARD CHUCKLES]

149
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,629
Leonard, I had no idea your siblings
were so much more successful than you.

150
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,130
[RAJESH CHUCKLES]

151
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:12,300
Yeah, you're like the Jar Jar Binks
of the Hofstadter family.

152
00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:18,139
[AS JAR JAR BINKS]
Oh, meesa think yousa looking so, so sad.

153
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,226
Rather than mock me...

154
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:25,021
...my friends might realize this is difficult
and try to help me through it.

155
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,524
Nope, I think mocking you is more fun.

156
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:33,613
Next time, don't yousa bring mama to work.
Okee-day?

157
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,116
That was fast.

158
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:39,286
Oh, the middle stall was occupied.
I'll have to try again later.

159
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:43,540
It's totally understandable.
In bladder voiding, as in real estate...

160
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:46,501
...it's location, location, location.

161
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:48,878
So where were we?

162
00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:53,675
Howard lives with his mother and Raj can't
speak to women unless he's drunk. Go.

163
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:59,139
Oh, that's fascinating.
Selective mutism is quite rare.

164
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:03,184
On the other hand, an adult Jewish male
living with his mother is so common...

165
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:06,187
...it borders on sociological cliché.

166
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,025
It's just temporary. I pay rent.

167
00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:12,652
He lives in the same room
where his bassinet was.

168
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:16,698
Both selective mutism and an inability
to separate from one's mother...

169
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,159
...can stem from a pathological fear
of women.

170
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:23,622
It might explain why the two of you have
created an ersatz homosexual marriage...

171
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:26,207
...to satisfy your need for intimacy.

172
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,342
Say what?

173
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:36,718
[WHISPERS INAUDIBLY]

174
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,262
That's basically what I just said.

175
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,182
You brought your husband to work,
you know the rules.

176
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,728
[AS JAR JAR BINKS]
Meesa thinking yousa looking pretty sad...

177
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:47,937
...now too, betcha, betcha.

178
00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:52,192
Leonard, it's 1:00. Weren't you going
to show me your laboratory at 1:00?

179
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,904
No hurry, Mother. Tell them more
about their secret love for each other.

180
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:59,240
But it's 1:00. You were going to show me
your laboratory at 1:00.

181
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:02,577
Her reasoning is unassailable. It is 1:00.

182
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,206
Fine. Let's go.

183
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,751
I think you'll find my work
pretty interesting.

184
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:11,294
I'm attempting to replicate...

185
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:14,923
...the dark matter signal found
in sodium-iodide crystals by the Italians.

186
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,758
So no original research?

187
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:18,968
No.

188
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,762
BEVERLY:
What's the point of my seeing it?

189
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:24,057
I could just read the paper
the Italians wrote.

190
00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:29,521
Okay, just for the record, we're not
in an ersatz homosexual relationship.

191
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,731
Well, then,
why didn't you say that to her?

192
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:35,777
- Why is it always my responsibility?
- Oh, it's not always your responsibility.

193
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:39,531
I swear, this is the same thing you did
at the comic book store last week.

194
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,994
I can't believe you're bringing that up.

195
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:50,083
- I didn't bring it up. You did.
- We'll talk about this later.

196
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:53,503
Well, you always say that,
but we never do.

197
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:01,261
You went to the comic book store
without me?

198
00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:10,979
- Hey.
- You got alcohol?

199
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:12,313
- Mom still here?
- Yep.

200
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:13,815
Come on in.

201
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:17,527
She's not gonna come here
looking for you, is she?

202
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:21,114
Oh, relax. She took Sheldon to the hospital
to get a brain scan.

203
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,658
- Oh, my God. What happened?
- Nothing.

204
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:27,996
Mother likes looking at brains
and Sheldon likes getting his brain scanned.

205
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:30,498
Jeez, what a fun couple.

206
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:33,126
Ugh. She's only here a day and a half...

207
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:37,464
...and I'm seriously considering alcoholism
as a new career path.

208
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:41,509
I talked to her for five minutes yesterday
and I've been half bombed ever since.

209
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,512
You can't let her get into your head.

210
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,223
- My head, what about yours?
- It's too late for me.

211
00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:49,934
My head is her summer house.

212
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,188
She was right, you know.

213
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:56,524
The locus of my identity
is totally exterior to me.

214
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:58,985
Oh, yeah, there she is. Hi, mom.

215
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:03,364
Do you know where I was all morning?

216
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:07,827
Auditioning with 50 other blondes
for some stupid antidepressant commercial.

217
00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:11,998
And for what?
So I'll finally get my daddy's approval?

218
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:13,875
Did you get the part?

219
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:17,378
No, they said I was too perky.

220
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,551
Wanna talk about not getting
love from a parent?

221
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:27,514
You know what I used to do when I was
little to have sensation of human contact?

222
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:30,016
Yeah, you grabbed your penis
and wouldn't let go.

223
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:36,314
Your mother told me.

224
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,607
[LEONARD SCOFFS]

225
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:40,193
Of course she did.
That's not what I was gonna say.

226
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:44,113
Uh... Uh, when I was 10-years old,
I built a hugging machine.

227
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,908
- A hugging machine?
- Yeah.

228
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:50,912
I got a mannequin, stuffed it
with an electric blanket so it'd be warm...

229
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:55,834
...and I built two radio-controlled arms
that would hug me and pat my back.

230
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,419
Oh, that is so sad.

231
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,755
- Know what the saddest part was?
- What?

232
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,091
My father used to borrow it.

233
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:09,430
Your scan data
will be very helpful to my research.

234
00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:11,349
You have a remarkable brain.

235
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,226
I know.

236
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:19,607
Although I've always hated
how my right frontal lobe looks in pictures.

237
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,317
Common complaint among men.

238
00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:23,570
Nothing's ever big enough.

239
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:27,574
Except when they get a tumor.
Then you never hear the end of it.

240
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:31,786
Yeah, I'd love to see
a scan of your brain sometime.

241
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:35,248
Oh, I'll send you a link,
but its physiology is fairly unimpressive.

242
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,250
Oh, I can't believe that.

243
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:42,171
Your unwillingness to accept empirical
evidence suggests an attempt at flattery.

244
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,300
My apologies.

245
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:49,345
I've been living with your son too long.
Gotten into some bad habits.

246
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,139
Understandable.

247
00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:53,516
Can I make you a cup of tea?

248
00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:57,478
I doubt it, but if anyone has a chance,
it's probably you.

249
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:03,443
I feel very comfortable around you.

250
00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:06,946
I feel very comfortable around you too.

251
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:11,284
It's surprising because I generally
don't feel comfortable around...

252
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:13,286
Well, anyone.

253
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,622
Nor I.

254
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,582
What are the odds...

255
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,293
...that two individuals
as unique as ourselves...

256
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:25,173
...would be connected by someone
as comparatively workaday as your son?

257
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,470
Is that a rhetorical point
or would you like to do the math?

258
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,640
I'd like to do the math.

259
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,019
I'd like that too.

260
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,690
[PENNY MOANS]

261
00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:44,192
BOTH:
Aah!

262
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,401
[LEONARD GIGGLES]

263
00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:49,030
[PENNY MOANS THEN COUGHS]

264
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:50,531
PENNY:
Mm.

265
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:51,783
- Oh.
- Heh-heh-heh.

266
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,202
[BOTH LAUGHING]

267
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:56,704
- Okay, now this time...
- Uh-huh.

268
00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:59,082
...you're gonna lick the salt...

269
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,250
...off my neck...

270
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,214
...do the shot... Whoops!

271
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,384
...and then bite the lime.

272
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,011
[CHUCKLING]

273
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:17,433
I'm sorry,
I didn't hear anything after "lick."

274
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:19,894
Neck.

275
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,229
Shot.

276
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,647
Lime.

277
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,900
[BOTH GIGGLING]

278
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,366
- Okay, shot, lime.
- Right.

279
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,791
Dah! Where's the lime?

280
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:45,461
[BOTH GIGGLING]

281
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,922
Oh, okay, we're sharing.

282
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,482
So, what do you think?

283
00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:10,278
I'm very tempted.

284
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:14,615
I'm just not sure it's appropriate
with my son's roommate.

285
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:17,201
Normally, I'd feel the same way.

286
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,954
But based on everything
I've observed about us...

287
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:24,000
...I can't help but speculate
we'd be very good together.

288
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,586
True. I've had a similar observation.

289
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:31,132
It's certainly something
I could never do with my husband.

290
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,887
I was hesitant the first time I tried it...

291
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:42,518
...but I experienced an unanticipated
and remarkable release of endorphins.

292
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,980
- It's quite satisfying.
- Mm.

293
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,648
I see what you're doing.

294
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:52,361
You're appealing
to the neuroscientific researcher in me.

295
00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:55,364
You see right through me, don't you?

296
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,951
Only when you're in a CAT scanner.

297
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:00,161
[SNORTS THEN LAUGHS]

298
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:06,292
[BOTH MOANING AND LAUGHING]

299
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:11,297
This is actually gonna happen.

300
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:13,633
Honey. Shush, shush, shush.

301
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,802
You shush. I'm happy.
I wanna talk about it.

302
00:18:15,969 --> 00:18:17,011
[LEONARD CHUCKLES]

303
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,305
You know what my mother would say?
She'd say...

304
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:22,683
...because you were not loved by your
father and I was not loved by my mother...

305
00:18:22,851 --> 00:18:27,021
...that having sex is our way of making up
for intimacy we didn't get as children.

306
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,857
Why would you bring that up right now?

307
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,860
I don't know. Foreplay?

308
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:37,782
So you're saying
you're not having sex with me...

309
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,742
...you're having sex with your mother?

310
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:44,038
Um, I'm gonna go with no.

311
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:46,958
That is the sickest thing
I have ever heard.

312
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:51,587
Uh, come on, you're trying to have sex
with your father, and I'm okay with that.

313
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:55,383
PENNY:
Get out!

314
00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:02,849
She said shush. I should have shushed.

315
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:08,062
[BOTH SINGING JOURNEY'S
"ANY WAY YOU WANT IT"]

316
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,231
- All night
- All night

317
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,942
- Oh, every night
- Oh, every night

318
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:17,280
- Hold tight
- Hold tight

319
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:19,824
SHELDON:
Baby, hold tight

320
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,492
[IN UNISON]
Any way you want it

321
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,954
That's the way you need it
Any way you want it

322
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:26,914
Oh, whoa

323
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,419
All right, Mother.

324
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:35,590
- Um, have a nice flight.
- That's not really in my control, is it?

325
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:38,968
Oh, uh, yes.

326
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:51,105
- Oh, good morning.
- Morning.

327
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:54,775
- I was just coming over to talk to you...
- You don't have to.

328
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:56,485
Ever.

329
00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:58,613
Gotcha.

330
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:00,990
- Goodbye, Mother.
- Goodbye, Leonard.

331
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:04,619
So, slugger, shall we pick up
where we left off last time?

332
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:06,621
[PENNY SOBBING]

333
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:12,043
I mean, my mom could've just said,
"Bob, get over it, she's a girl, move on."

334
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:14,337
But she didn't. Not one word.

335
00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:17,423
Interesting. Would you be willing
to fly to New Jersey...

336
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:21,636
...and discuss your relationship
with your parents during a brain scan?

337
00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:25,973
- Would it help?
- Well, it would help me.

338
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:53,834
[English - US - SDH]