1
00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:03,377
[PAINTBALLS FIRING]

2
00:00:03,753 --> 00:00:05,587
HOWARD:
That was close.

3
00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:10,426
God, I love the smell of paintballs
in the morning.

4
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:12,928
Yeah, still funny, Raj.

5
00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,264
[PAINTBALLS FIRING]

6
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,307
No way we can get to the ridge.

7
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,643
The Chemistry Department
has us cut off.

8
00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,020
What about the creek bed?

9
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,105
The Pharmacology Department
controls that.

10
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,941
And they're all hopped up
on experimental steroids.

11
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:27,526
That's it then, we're doomed.

12
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,320
Time to acknowledge
that we are paying the price...

13
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:34,283
...for some failing to attend Physics
Department paintball strategy meeting.

14
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:37,119
I told you, my mom has spider veins.

15
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:40,497
I had to take her to the laser clinic.

16
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:44,668
And I told you I wanted
to see a doctor's note.

17
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:48,672
We need a plan.
How about Operation Hammer of the Gods?

18
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,466
Which one is Hammer of the Gods?

19
00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:54,553
We hide in the parking lot
and ambush people when they come to pee.

20
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,640
No, the dumpsters are deep
in Astronomy Department territory.

21
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:01,143
Shouldn't be a problem,
Venus is up during the day.

22
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,479
They're probably
just all staring at the sky.

23
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:05,898
All right, what we need now
is a tactical retreat.

24
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,359
Did you see Stargate
where they found themselves on a planet...

25
00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:12,529
...with a culture based loosely
on Earth's Athens and Sparta?

26
00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:15,157
Not important.

27
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:18,160
Leonard, Raj and I are gonna burst out
the door and run away.

28
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,369
Howard will cover us.

29
00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:21,997
But why don't I run away
and you cover me?

30
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,625
Because you chose your mother's veins
over victory.

31
00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,336
On three. One, two, three, go!

32
00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:29,963
[ALL SCREAMING
AND PAINTBALLS FIRING]

33
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:35,177
I had to take her.
It's almost bathing-suit weather.

34
00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,137
[PAINTBALLS FIRING]

35
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:39,723
[HOWARD SHRIEKS]

36
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:43,310
I surrender, don't shoot.
They went that way.

37
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,896
LESLIE:
Howard, I'm on your team.

38
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:47,731
Oh, Leslie, thank God.

39
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:51,485
- Where's the rest of your squad?
- Uh...

40
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:54,113
They left me here to die.

41
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,614
What about yours?

42
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:58,283
- Dead. All of them.
- Sorry.

43
00:01:58,451 --> 00:01:59,868
Don't be.

44
00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:02,329
It was friendly fire.

45
00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:05,541
They just wouldn't listen.

46
00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:09,378
Well, we're surrounded.

47
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:14,758
So I guess there's nothing for us to do
but wait to be captured or killed.

48
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,302
Hm. That's the worst part.

49
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:18,595
The waiting.

50
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:24,184
All the while knowing that there's a paint
pellet out there with your name on it.

51
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,019
Yeah.

52
00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:29,398
The big wet ball of death.

53
00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:31,733
[PAINTBALLS SPRAYING SHED]

54
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:36,071
Kind of makes you feel more alive,
doesn't it?

55
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,740
It kind of does.

56
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:42,244
I say we make every moment count.

57
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,830
I agree.

58
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,499
How exactly do we do that?

59
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,003
[PAINTBALLS FIRING IN DISTANCE]

60
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,796
LEONARD:
Howard, why aren't you covering us?

61
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:55,591
We're getting slaughtered out here.

62
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,509
War is hell.

63
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:26,788
Did you see the new budget memo
this morning?

64
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:28,332
Yeah, more cutbacks.

65
00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:30,834
Unacceptable. It baffles me...

66
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:35,380
...why they don't simply let some of you go
so there's money available for my research.

67
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,634
You know what baffles me, Sheldon?

68
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:42,262
Based on your academic record,
any number of things, I would imagine.

69
00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,514
LESLIE: Hey, guys.
- Hi, Leslie.

70
00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:47,017
I got the approval
for the rapid prototyper.

71
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:49,228
That's great, Leslie. Thanks.

72
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,480
You scratch my back, I scratch yours.

73
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:52,731
[GROWLS]

74
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,610
What was all that about?

75
00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:58,403
Oh, uh, no big deal.

76
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:01,573
They gave Leslie control
over some unrestricted grant money.

77
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:06,662
Yeah, okay, but what's with
the back scratching and the meow?

78
00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:11,250
I believe the back-scratching metaphor
describes a quid pro quo situation...

79
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:14,127
...where one party provides services
to the second party...

80
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:17,714
- ...in compensation for a similar action.
- Thank you.

81
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:22,552
The meow, that sounded to me
like an African civet cat.

82
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,430
- Are you done?
- No.

83
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:28,684
Despite what the name suggests...

84
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:33,146
...the civet cat is not a true cat.

85
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,109
Now I'm done.

86
00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:41,321
You know what? I'm thinking Howard
wasn't making a back-scratching metaphor.

87
00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:44,283
I'm thinking there was some
actual scratching involved.

88
00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:49,329
What about it, Howard?

89
00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,498
Okay, I didn't wanna say anything...

90
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:54,334
...because I know you and Leslie
have a little history.

91
00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:57,838
- I don't care about that.
- Great, I'm dying to say something.

92
00:04:58,381 --> 00:04:59,423
You and Leslie?

93
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,591
In the paintball shed. Twice.

94
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:06,972
Is that why you didn't cover our escape
and let us get cut down like animals?

95
00:05:07,765 --> 00:05:09,599
Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.

96
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,185
My good man.

97
00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:16,273
Dereliction of duty in the face of
the enemy is a court-martial offense.

98
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,400
Court martial, schmort martial.

99
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:22,821
Leslie Winkle is the fifth girl
I've ever had sex with.

100
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,031
I mean, for free.

101
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:30,287
And plus you got a rapid prototyper.
That's an expensive piece of equipment.

102
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,998
The rest of us have had our budgets
cut to the bone.

103
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:37,502
Okay, one way to look at this is that
I'm getting new equipment and you're not...

104
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,296
...and that's unfair.

105
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:43,091
But a better way to look at this
is that I'm getting sex and you're not.

106
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:44,968
And that's delightful.

107
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:50,015
The whole thing froze.
I don't know what happened.

108
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,475
Calm down. We'll figure it out.

109
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:54,144
How can I calm down?
I'm gonna lose my shopping cart.

110
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:58,190
That's three hours of picking out shoes
just shot to hell.

111
00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:00,359
- Hello, Penny.
- Hello, Sheldon.

112
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,486
You're in my spot.

113
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,990
- Are you planning on sitting here?
- No, I'm going to the comic-book store.

114
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,743
- What difference does it make?
- What difference?

115
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,536
Here we go.

116
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,163
That is my spot.

117
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:16,875
In an ever-changing world,
it is a single point of consistency.

118
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,669
If my life were expressed as a function...

119
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:22,381
...on a four-dimensional
Cartesian coordinate system...

120
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:28,178
...that spot at the moment I first sat on it
would be zero, zero, zero, zero.

121
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:32,557
What?

122
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,144
Don't sit in his spot.

123
00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:37,604
[EXHALES SHARPLY]

124
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:40,357
Fine. Happy?

125
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,901
I'm not unhappy.

126
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:50,367
Boy, I love him,
but he is one serious whackadoodle.

127
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,701
Okay, that should do it.

128
00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:54,538
Oh, thank you. You are a lifesaver.

129
00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:56,665
That's a lot of shoes you ordered.

130
00:06:56,833 --> 00:07:00,293
Yeah, you know the sad thing is,
it's really not.

131
00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:04,673
Ooh, is this one of those paintball guns?

132
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,550
You ought to come with us sometime.

133
00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:08,510
Oh, no, thanks. I'm from Nebraska.

134
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,554
When we shoot things,
we wanna eat them...

135
00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:13,014
...or make them leave
our boyfriends alone. Ha, ha.

136
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,308
[PAINTBALLS FIRE]

137
00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:17,144
PENNY:
Oh.

138
00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,576
Boy, your heart's racing.

139
00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:35,162
I must have really gotten you going.

140
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,663
Well, it's partly you.

141
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:40,417
Partly my transient, idiopathic arrhythmia.

142
00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:43,211
Sexy.

143
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:48,800
Can I assume that
you've likewise found the experience...?

144
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,886
Satisfactory?

145
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:54,055
That wasn't quite the word
I was looking for...

146
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:56,391
...but sure, I'll do this pass-fail.

147
00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,729
Hey, are you enjoying
that prototyper I got you?

148
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:05,317
Oh, it's great. Everybody in the Engineering
Department is eating their hearts out.

149
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:09,488
Isn't it nice when your good fortune
makes others miserable?

150
00:08:11,073 --> 00:08:13,950
You know, most people don't get that.

151
00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:18,497
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Howard, I'm home!

152
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:22,042
- Oh, great.
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Book club was canceled.

153
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:26,254
That thing on Phyllis' neck
opened up again.

154
00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:28,840
I'm busy, Ma.

155
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:32,302
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Too busy to help
your mother with her zipper?

156
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,054
Don't come in, Ma.

157
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:38,475
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Why not?
- He's got company!

158
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:46,066
Oh, there's the arrhythmia.

159
00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,610
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Is she Jewish?

160
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,363
- Are you Jewish?
- No.

161
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,448
Yes!

162
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,993
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Okay, then you kids have fun.

163
00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,498
Use protection.

164
00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:12,884
You think he'll notice?

165
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,179
There's a chance.

166
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,848
Oh, what are we gonna do?

167
00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:20,350
"We"?

168
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:25,689
No, no, no, you had your chance to be "we"
for like a year and a half now.

169
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:30,443
Right now, you are you,
and you are screwed.

170
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:36,199
- Why do we have to tell him I did it?
- Not gonna tell him I did it.

171
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,118
Okay, okay, how about this?

172
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:42,622
We tell him somebody broke in.

173
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:48,003
Just to shoot the couch
with a paintball gun?

174
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:51,047
I'm sorry, I buy it.
All those people are on drugs.

175
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:55,885
We could tell him they wanted the couch
to stay away from their boyfriend.

176
00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:00,974
Okay, fine.
Well, what if we just flip it over?

177
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,269
There. Looks fine, right?

178
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:09,107
Butt print.
There's no discernible butt print.

179
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:12,444
Oh, come on.

180
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:15,780
There. Butt print.

181
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:19,367
It's too small and too perfect.

182
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:23,455
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

183
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:25,790
Shh. Act normal.

184
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,001
Sheldon!

185
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:33,006
- How was the comic-book store?
- Fine. The new issue of Flash is out.

186
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,549
Great, great.

187
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:37,344
Did you walk the whole way?
It's a little chilly.

188
00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:40,597
- Koothrappali picked me up.
- Isn't that terrific?

189
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,390
He is such a good friend.

190
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:45,101
You know what the best thing
about friends is?

191
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:48,688
They don't talk incessantly
for no particular reason?

192
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:52,025
No, no, friends forgive the little things.

193
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,944
- I'm gonna go home and wash my hair.
- Don't you dare, missy.

194
00:10:57,406 --> 00:11:00,825
Hello, fastest man alive.

195
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:04,412
Wanna see me
read your entire comic book?

196
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,748
Wanna see it again?

197
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:28,144
Something's wrong.

198
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:32,440
- What do you mean?
- I'm not sure.

199
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,993
It doesn't feel right.

200
00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:47,580
I don't know what you're talking about.

201
00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:56,256
Oh, that. Penny did that.

202
00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:13,481
[WHINES]

203
00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:20,321
Excuse me.

204
00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:26,953
[MUMBLING]

205
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,505
Oh, God.

206
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:41,342
Why don't you just eat
in your desk chair?

207
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,803
Why don't I just eat in my desk chair?

208
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,847
Here we go.

209
00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:48,850
That is my desk chair.
That is where I work.

210
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:52,645
I don't eat in my desk chair
and I don't work in my spot.

211
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:56,357
I work in my desk chair
and eat in my spot.

212
00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:58,234
Whackadoodle.

213
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:02,697
You know, there's kind of
an obvious solution here. Get up.

214
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:08,703
There, problem solved.

215
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,873
Nobody cares where you're gonna sit.

216
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,416
You're not crazy.

217
00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:18,922
Excuse me,
but the problem is not solved.

218
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:21,800
If your head
had been accidentally amputated...

219
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:24,302
...and we transplanted a dog's head
in its place...

220
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,221
...would that be "problem solved"?

221
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:28,389
If it were your head, it would be.

222
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,727
Sheldon, I am really, really sorry,
but it's only for a week.

223
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,562
Can't you be a little bit flexible?

224
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:41,361
Yeah, sorry,
I didn't really think that through.

225
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:44,572
You claim it's going to be a week.
I have no faith in your cleaner.

226
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:47,325
- Why not?
- Did you notice the sign on his counter?

227
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,828
He's not a full-time dry cleaner.

228
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,372
He also makes keys.

229
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,415
Oh, for God's sake, Sheldon.

230
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:55,875
Focus is important.

231
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:59,504
Was Michael DeBakey a wedding
planner in between heart transplants?

232
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,048
Did Alexander Fleming
moonlight as a hair dresser?

233
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:06,302
Thanks for discovering penicillin.
Now how about we try a bouffant?

234
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,764
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

235
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:13,226
Oh, looks like
I'm gonna have sex tonight.

236
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:17,564
HOWARD: Hey, baby.
- His right hand is calling him?

237
00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:22,902
No, it's Leslie Winkle. It's a long story.

238
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:25,446
[SHELDON MOANING]

239
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:29,409
Sure. I'll pick you up in 10 minutes.

240
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,411
Gentlemen, adieu.

241
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,746
I thought we were gonna play
"Halo" tonight.

242
00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:35,123
What am I supposed to do?

243
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,001
There's a woman out there
anxious to have sex with me.

244
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:40,420
You understand, right?

245
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:46,009
No, not at all.

246
00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,052
Nevertheless, I must depart.

247
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:52,348
By the way, did I tell you Leslie pulled
strings and got me on the trip to Geneva...

248
00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:54,475
...to check out the CERN super collider?

249
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:56,936
That's not fair.
You're not even a physicist.

250
00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:58,980
There are two ways
of looking at this...

251
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:01,190
- Get out.
- Bye.

252
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:06,571
You're improving.

253
00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:08,990
Thank you.

254
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:12,577
It helps when I get to practice
with a real woman.

255
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:16,789
Hey, listen.
Saturday, my sister's getting married.

256
00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:19,959
I want you to come with me.
It's black tie.

257
00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:24,005
Yeah, gee, I'd really rather not.

258
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,214
Why not?

259
00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:29,594
When I go to weddings
it's to scam on chunky bridesmaids.

260
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,305
I don't know
what I would do with a date.

261
00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:34,432
Oh, all right.

262
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,142
I understand.

263
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:37,977
Thanks.

264
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:42,023
Hey, I'm really sorry
about that Geneva trip.

265
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:44,609
- What about it?
- Oh, didn't you hear?

266
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:48,446
I had to reduce the number of people going
and you didn't make the cut.

267
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,490
When did that happen?

268
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,951
About 12 seconds ago.

269
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:59,874
Hold on. Are you saying if I don't go
to the wedding, I can't go to Geneva?

270
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,710
Well, actually, I'm trying not to say it.

271
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:06,589
Okay, I'm sorry,
but that makes me a little uncomfortable.

272
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:09,175
- How so?
- Because it's like you're controlling me...

273
00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:12,053
...with new equipment
and research trips.

274
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:16,099
If I weren't controlling you with equipment
and trips, I'd be uncomfortable.

275
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:18,851
- How so?
- Because we'd be in a real relationship...

276
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,312
...with feelings and all that crap.

277
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:29,570
So bottom line,
I'm just a bought-and-paid-for sex toy.

278
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:32,490
No.

279
00:16:32,866 --> 00:16:34,659
No, no, not at all.

280
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,161
You're also arm candy.

281
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:41,457
So, what do you think?

282
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,585
Hey, Ma, you gotta rent me a tux!

283
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,088
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Right now?

284
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:51,050
What kind of sex
are you having up there?

285
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,269
Why are you crouching there?

286
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,938
This is my spot.

287
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,441
Where else am I supposed to crouch?

288
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,067
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

289
00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:10,653
I don't know, Texas.

290
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,616
Here. Fresh from the cleaners.
Good as new.

291
00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:17,869
Really? Great.
Sheldon, look. Good as new.

292
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,955
From that key maker? I highly doubt it.

293
00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:24,584
Come on, Sheldon. Just give it a try.

294
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,254
All right.

295
00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:34,135
There. Nice and comfy-cozy.
Zero, zero, zero.

296
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:37,305
There's one more zero.

297
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:40,099
You forgot the time parameter.

298
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:41,809
Sit on the damn couch.

299
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,293
Nope.

300
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:11,172
What do you mean "nope"?
What's wrong with it?

301
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,133
Nothing, it's what's wrong with him.

302
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:17,345
- It's exactly the same...
- Penny, Penny.

303
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:18,638
I know what to do.

304
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,724
Sheldon, I have some bad news.

305
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,893
More?

306
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,394
I'm afraid so.

307
00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:28,022
You know the cashew chicken
I get you on Monday nights?

308
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,857
Yes, from Szechwan Palace.

309
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,736
Szechwan Palace closed two years ago.

310
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:37,865
What?

311
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:41,702
- Where did my cashew chicken come from?
- Golden Dragon.

312
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,751
No.

313
00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:52,713
No, this isn't right.

314
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:56,175
No, our food always comes
in Szechwan Palace containers.

315
00:18:56,343 --> 00:19:01,180
Yeah, well, before they went out of
business, I bought 4000 containers.

316
00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:05,017
I keep them in the trunk of my car.

317
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,395
But...

318
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:10,940
Oh, this changes everything.

319
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:15,444
I thought that might take
his mind off the cushion.

320
00:19:15,612 --> 00:19:18,948
What's real? What isn't?
How can I know?

321
00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:23,536
- You did make that up, right?
- Oh, God, I wish I had.

322
00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:27,206
- Leonard?
- Yeah, buddy?

323
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:29,083
I still don't like this cushion.

324
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,381
Okay, first of all...

325
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:38,718
- ...Penny, thank you for coming.
- Oh, thanks for the shoes.

326
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:42,430
Penny is an amazing shot. I think
we have a chance to win this week.

327
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,016
- What's the plan?
- Okay. Now, we all run out...

328
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,935
...Sheldon and I will cut to the left
behind these trees.

329
00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:51,063
Raj, Howard and Leslie
flank to the right behind the rocks.

330
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:54,734
We'll all have a great view as Penny
runs out and kills everyone in sight.

331
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,737
All right, just one thing before we start.

332
00:19:57,905 --> 00:19:59,488
What is it, Sheldon?

333
00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:00,656
Oh!

334
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:03,659
What the hell?

335
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,787
That was for my cushion.

336
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:09,373
Sheldon, Penny was our only hope.

337
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:14,629
I'm sorry, Leonard.
But revenge is a dish best served cold.

338
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,715
Screw that.

339
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:21,802
She can't shoot me. She's dead.

340
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,722
He's right. You can't.

341
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:34,065
Well, if we're going to descend
into anarchy...

342
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,446
Okay. See you.

343
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:43,157
Where are you going?

344
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,785
Surrender, then Denny's.

345
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,068
[English - US - SDH]