1
00:00:02,252 --> 00:00:05,087
Okay.
Are you from the Star Wars universe?

2
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:06,255
Yes.

3
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:08,549
- Were you in the original trilogy?
- Yes.

4
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:12,761
Is there a picture of you in my wallet
wearing a metal bikini?

5
00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:15,681
God, I hope not.

6
00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:20,269
- No, I'm not Princess Leia.
- Okay, my turn.

7
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,604
Are you in all six Star Wars movies?

8
00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:24,189
- Yes.
- Interesting.

9
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,608
- Are you a droid?
- Yes.

10
00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:29,528
Do you kind of look like a shiny Sheldon?

11
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,740
Yes.

12
00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:35,743
- C-3P0.
- You got it.

13
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:40,205
That's preposterous.
I do not resemble C-3P0.

14
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:43,751
Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered,
I just don't see it.

15
00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:47,087
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

16
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,674
Leslie Winkle. Ahem.

17
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,677
You've reached Friends with Benefits.

18
00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:57,723
For a booty call, press 1 now.

19
00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:03,103
What exactly does that expression mean,
"friends with benefits"?

20
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:06,065
Does he provide her
with health insurance?

21
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,275
No.

22
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:12,154
Look, imagine you maintained a friendship
with someone you had sex with...

23
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:15,157
...but you were free to date
whoever you wanted.

24
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:18,660
I'm sorry, I can't imagine any of that.

25
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,538
All right, back to the game.

26
00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:22,915
I believe it's my turn.

27
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,334
You may begin your questions
whenever you're ready.

28
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:27,294
Are you Spock?

29
00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,467
I don't like this game.

30
00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:36,428
So where were we?

31
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:39,765
- Aren't you leaving for your booty call?
- No, it was something else.

32
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,684
Why does everything
have to be about sex with you? Come on.

33
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:44,061
Whose turn is it?

34
00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:45,479
- We're up to you.
HOWARD: Great.

35
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,856
- Just start.
- Okay, let's see.

36
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:50,609
Are you from a TV series?

37
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,194
She dumped me.

38
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:54,613
[CRYING]

39
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:58,992
I bet he's someone from Babylon 5.
We're never gonna get it.

40
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:26,395
What happened with Leslie?
Why did she dump you?

41
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:31,275
I don't know. She just said,
"Howard, Mama's a rolling stone."

42
00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:36,488
Then her call waiting beeped,
and she was gone.

43
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,491
I don't understand.

44
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:42,077
If you were in a non-emotional
relationship...

45
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:46,081
...then why are you having
what appears to be an emotional response?

46
00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:48,917
Sheldon,
he obviously had feelings for her.

47
00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:54,089
Of course I had feelings for her.
I saw her naked for God's sake.

48
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,842
Okay, look,
you just need to get your mind off it.

49
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,761
Do you wanna go to the comic-book store,
maybe see a movie?

50
00:02:59,929 --> 00:03:01,972
I don't wanna go anywhere.

51
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,724
You know...

52
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:07,186
...I'm given to understand
that there's an entire city in Nevada...

53
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:12,107
...designed specifically to help people
like Howard forget their problems.

54
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,903
We can replace them
with new problems such as alcoholism...

55
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:19,448
...gambling addiction
and sexually-transmitted diseases.

56
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:26,455
Is it me or was that Sheldon's way
of saying, "Vegas, baby"?

57
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,125
- I've never been there, have you?
- Me? No.

58
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:34,087
I just got "Vegas, baby!"
from Vince Vaughn in Swingers.

59
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:39,676
That could be fun, and I know
my weekend's wide open now that...

60
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:42,137
[SIGHS]

61
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:45,390
Okay, let's do this. Let's go to Las Vegas.

62
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,850
Now? Right now?

63
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,311
Why not?
People do things right now all the time.

64
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,355
Why can't we be "right now" people too?

65
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:54,483
Go home, pack a bag,
and we'll be "right now" people.

66
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,361
I have to stop at the drugstore
to refill a prescription...

67
00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:59,905
...but after that, we'll go right now.

68
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:05,202
- What do you say, Howard?
- I say, Vegas, baby.

69
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:09,039
- What are you gonna tell your mother?
- SeaWorld, baby.

70
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,795
Hey, Sheldon, are you coming?

71
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:20,300
I'd rather have a blowfly lay eggs
and hatch larvae in my auditory canal.

72
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:24,346
Great, we'll bring you back a T-shirt.

73
00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:29,351
SHELDON:
Thank you.

74
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:32,354
Hello, neighbor.

75
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,356
Hello, Sheldon.

76
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,692
And how are you this fine evening?

77
00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:39,861
- Great.
- Good, I'm glad.

78
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:42,531
PENNY:
Really? Are you drunk?

79
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,199
I'm just in a good mood.

80
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,702
While my compatriots are in Las Vegas...

81
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:51,373
...I will be enjoying a blissful evening
in my personal Fortress of Solitude.

82
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,751
That's Superman's big ice thingy, right?

83
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:58,547
You know, I'm in such a good mood,
I'm actually finding your tenuous grasp...

84
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:02,175
...of the English language
folksy and charming today.

85
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,220
Mmm. What smells so good?

86
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:09,558
That is the intoxicating aroma
of Kadhai Paneer.

87
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:12,894
A perfect culinary representation
of the freedom this evening holds.

88
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:16,023
Not only is it Indian cuisine,
which Koothrappali loathes...

89
00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:18,317
...it contains a generous helping
of peanuts...

90
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:22,571
...which would reduce Wolowitz
to a wheezing 97-pound blister.

91
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,658
And finally,
its main ingredient is paneer...

92
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:29,911
...a farmer's cheese that would cause
Leonard to render any room...

93
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:32,914
...uninhabitable within minutes.

94
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,710
Yum.

95
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:40,589
- Well, enjoy your big evening.
- Penny?

96
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,425
I realize you're also on your own tonight.

97
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,386
So if at some point
you find yourself with nothing to do...

98
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:48,597
...please do not disturb me.

99
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:53,185
- Have fun, Sheldon.
- Oh, I shall.

100
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,354
[HUMMING "SUPERMAN" THEME SONG]

101
00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:06,948
No!

102
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:11,787
What's wrong, Superman?
Locked out of your big ice thingy?

103
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:21,630
Look at this.

104
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:25,133
Mouthwash, lotion, body wash,
shampoo and conditioner...

105
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:28,303
...together in one tiny bottle.

106
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:30,305
I love Las Vegas.

107
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,725
Hey, Howard,
can I borrow some aftershave?

108
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,477
Black case, top compartment.

109
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:42,901
That's a lot of cologne.

110
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,986
HOWARD:
First row are your musks.

111
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:47,739
Second is woods, leathers and botanicals.

112
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:51,952
Third is assorted pheromones.
Tread lightly.

113
00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,794
That's the spirit, Howard.

114
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,839
Yes, we can.

115
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,426
Come on, let's go.

116
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:10,637
You guys go ahead.
I just have to finish up an e-mail.

117
00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:14,182
That's not an e-mail,
that's Leslie's Facebook page.

118
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,351
Okay, fine.
I'm checking her Facebook page.

119
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:17,727
Look at her status update.

120
00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:20,730
She's saying she dumped me.
People need to know I dumped her.

121
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,275
But she did dump you.

122
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:28,196
Grow up, Raj.
There's no place for truth on the Internet.

123
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,993
Just go. I'll catch up with you.

124
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,036
All right.

125
00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:37,664
We should have a plan
in case one of us gets lucky.

126
00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:41,960
Okay, uh...

127
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,630
If I get lucky, I'll take her to my stately
manor outside Gotham City...

128
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:50,635
...and if you get lucky,
I'll sleep on the moon.

129
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:53,221
Sounds like a plan.

130
00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:58,059
Hang on, I think the emergency key
is around here somewhere.

131
00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:00,520
We have a bowl.

132
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,231
Our keys go in a bowl.

133
00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:05,525
You should get a bowl.

134
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:09,988
So how did the beautiful mind of Sheldon
Cooper forget his key in the first place?

135
00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:13,241
I left them in the bowl.

136
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,411
Uh-oh. I remembered
where the emergency key is.

137
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,580
- Where?
- In your apartment.

138
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,248
What's it doing in my apartment?

139
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:23,793
I went in there a few weeks ago,
and you guys weren't home, and I forgot it.

140
00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:27,547
You went in my...? Why would...?
What are you saying?

141
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:30,091
Not a big deal.
I was making coffee and ran out of milk.

142
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,844
You're the milk thief.

143
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:38,600
Leonard said I was crazy,
but I knew that carton felt lighter.

144
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,937
All right, Sheldon, calm down.
I'll call the building manager.

145
00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:44,981
He'll come open your door.
Just eat here while you're waiting.

146
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:48,485
Eat my dinner in your apartment?

147
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,530
- Yeah, why not?
- Sure, why not?

148
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,324
And after the sun's down,
we can all pile in my pickup...

149
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,785
...and go skinny-dipping
down at the crick.

150
00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:01,289
Because today's the day
that stopped making sense.

151
00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:07,796
- Thanks.
- I'm telling you, Leonard.

152
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:12,217
Video slots, free drinks brought to us
by a bosomy barmaid...

153
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,511
...and all-you-can-eat shrimp for 3.95?

154
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:18,932
Disneyland can suck it.

155
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,521
This is the real happiest place on Earth.

156
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,982
[COINS JINGLING]

157
00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:30,819
Dude, check it out.
That's laundry for a month.

158
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,739
Hi.

159
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,581
Hello.

160
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:47,961
- What's your name?
- Rajesh Ramayan Koothrappali.

161
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,547
Hello, Rajesh Ram...

162
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,591
Hi, Rajesh.

163
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,260
- I'm Mikayla.
- Hello, Mikayla.

164
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,846
So are you interested in a little party?

165
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:01,891
Oh, my, yes. I love to party.

166
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,435
"Party" is my middle name.

167
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,688
Or it would be if it weren't "Ramayan."

168
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:11,067
- Uh, Raj, can I talk to you for a moment?
- Not now, Leonard...

169
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:13,069
...Mikayla's inviting me to a party.

170
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:16,865
You'd better call the moon
and make sure they have a bed for you.

171
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,995
Yeah, I really need to talk to you.

172
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:25,373
Excuse me. I'll be right back.
Don't go anywhere. Don't move.

173
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:29,711
Just stay the beautiful unspoiled
American flower that you are.

174
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:34,633
What's wrong with you, dude?
That woman is all up on my jammy.

175
00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:39,888
Okay, I hate to break this to you
and whatever your jammy is...

176
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,432
...but I'm pretty sure she's a prostitute.

177
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,017
What?

178
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:48,229
- No.
- Okay, let me put it this way.

179
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:52,025
In your entire life, how many gorgeous
women have walked up to you at a bar...

180
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,778
...and asked if you wanted to party?

181
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,741
Maybe I can save her.

182
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:06,289
Maybe. But I'm guessing it'll cost you
about $500 an hour to try.

183
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:15,090
It was lovely meeting you.
Best of luck in your future endeavors.

184
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:18,385
Whatever.

185
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,888
Oh, I miss her already.

186
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:24,349
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]

187
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,268
Oh, Howard's losing it.

188
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,562
Check out his latest Twitters.

189
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:33,358
"I'm at the bottom of a black hole
staring into the abyss.

190
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,986
My life is meaningless.
My future is without hope."

191
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:39,823
Why don't we take him
to see the Blue Man Group?

192
00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:41,825
You think that'd help?

193
00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:45,787
USA Today calls them
"Exuberant fun for the whole family."

194
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:49,582
I don't know. Howard isn't really
the "family fun" kind of guy.

195
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:52,669
It's too bad he wasn't here
for that hooker.

196
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,879
She's exactly his type:

197
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,715
A hooker.

198
00:11:57,633 --> 00:12:01,136
You know, I bet if we hired her,
that would cheer him up.

199
00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:03,930
We're not going to get
Wolowitz a hooker.

200
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,557
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]

201
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:10,103
"I'm so lonely and horny...

202
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:14,774
...I may open this $20 jar of peanuts
and end it all."

203
00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:22,240
I suppose it wouldn't hurt
to get an estimate.

204
00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:29,205
So how was your day?

205
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,959
Are you trying to make small talk?

206
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,545
Oh, sweetie, you really don't have to.

207
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,882
No, it's the accepted convention.

208
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,052
How was your day?

209
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:48,600
Well, uh, they shifted my schedule around
at the restaurant, so my hours are different...

210
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,728
I'm sorry, that's not going to
interest me at all. Just eat.

211
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,530
Hello, again.

212
00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:05,784
- Oh, hi.
- Yeah, hi. Listen, um...

213
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:09,579
...if you're not busy,
we were thinking maybe you could...

214
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:14,209
- We were wondering...
- If you're really a prostitute.

215
00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:17,086
- You guys cops?
BOTH: No.

216
00:13:17,254 --> 00:13:19,005
I'm a prostitute.

217
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:22,342
- Okay, great. Um...
- Heh, heh.

218
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:34,395
The thing is, we've got this friend,
and he's kind of down in the dumps...

219
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:37,232
...and we thought
maybe you could cheer him up.

220
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:39,275
With sex.

221
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,695
I think she knows what I meant.

222
00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:44,739
How can she
when you beat around the bush?

223
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:48,409
She's from the mean streets, where
they shoot from the hip and keep it real.

224
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:52,413
Don't worry,
I can take good care of your friend.

225
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:55,375
Okay, terrific. Um...

226
00:13:55,543 --> 00:14:01,172
Listen, is there a way that we can do this
where he doesn't know that you're a...

227
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,800
- You know...
- A prostitute.

228
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:06,302
You want the girlfriend experience.

229
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:09,764
Yes, yes. Exactly.
The girlfriend experience.

230
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,766
Actually, if it's not too much to ask...

231
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:15,353
...could we have
the Jewish girlfriend experience?

232
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,983
Okay, that's question 20.
You have to guess.

233
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,945
I don't know, Sheldon.

234
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,531
Are you Star Wars?

235
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:31,244
How can one person be a whole movie?

236
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,330
Okay, I give up.
Can we just do something else?

237
00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:35,832
Fine.

238
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,084
I was Spock.

239
00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:45,216
Are you and Leonard
friends with benefits?

240
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,176
What?

241
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:49,429
Are you and Leonard
friends with benefits?

242
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:50,972
Where did that even come from?

243
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,308
- Did he say we were?
- No, Leonard said nothing.

244
00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:57,604
But who knows what goes on over here when
he pretends your mail was misdelivered?

245
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,773
Just mail, no benefits.

246
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:02,775
I see.

247
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,569
Why are you asking?

248
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,572
I'm curious about
the whole social construct.

249
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:11,701
On its face, the idea of satisfying
one's sexual appetite...

250
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,703
Assuming one is afflicted with such.

251
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:18,249
...without emotional entanglement,
that seems imminently practical.

252
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:23,880
What I've observed, however,
is Howard Wolowitz crying like a little girl.

253
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:28,051
Well, some people just can't handle
that kind of relationship.

254
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,720
Can you?

255
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,182
Excuse me?

256
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,978
Are you able to have sex with men without
developing an emotional attachment?

257
00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:43,650
Sheldon, I really don't wanna
talk about this with you.

258
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,860
Is this conversation
making you uncomfortable?

259
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:48,446
Of course it's making me uncomfortable.
Can't you tell?

260
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,031
I really have no idea.

261
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,951
I don't particularly excel
at reading facial expressions...

262
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,453
I'm uncomfortable, Sheldon!

263
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:59,290
Thank you, that's very helpful.

264
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,629
All right,
where are these amazing shrimp?

265
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,839
Behold.

266
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:12,762
Seriously?
You think this is the size of a baby's arm?

267
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,598
A little baby.

268
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:17,934
I'm going back to the room.

269
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:22,021
Boy, would it maybe kill them
to put out a nice brisket?

270
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:36,202
Hi, there. Howard Wolowitz.

271
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:38,371
Ester Rosenblatt.

272
00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:48,464
I don't think the manager's coming tonight,
so here.

273
00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:51,634
Are you suggesting I sleep on the couch?

274
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:54,429
Well, it wasn't the first suggestion
that came to mind...

275
00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:56,431
...but it's the one I'm going with.

276
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,934
I can't sleep on your couch.
I sleep in a bed.

277
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:02,770
Given its dimensions,
I have no intention of living out...

278
00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:06,649
...E.M. Snickering's beloved children's book,
The Tall Man From Cornwall.

279
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,610
What?

280
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:13,614
There was a tall man from Cornwall
Whose length exceeded his bed

281
00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:18,661
My body fits on it, but barely upon it
There's no room for my big Cornish head

282
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:25,293
[SIGHS]

283
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,546
All right, I will give you my bed
on one condition.

284
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:32,300
That you promise to zip your hole
for the next eight hours.

285
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:36,512
- May I say one last thing?
- Only if it doesn't rhyme.

286
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,349
All right.

287
00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:46,147
Good night.

288
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,694
Turn-ons, let me see.

289
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:54,197
Reading a good book in front of the fire...

290
00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:56,532
...long walks on the beach...

291
00:17:56,700 --> 00:18:00,870
...and getting freaky on the Sabbath
with a bacon cheeseburger.

292
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:07,043
Really? Me too.

293
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,339
Oy gevalt, you're hot.

294
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,342
Yeah.

295
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,803
Excuse me for a moment.

296
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:24,060
- Hey. How's it going?
- Cut the crap. You set this up, didn't you?

297
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,647
- Yes.
- She's a hooker, isn't she?

298
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:30,691
A prostitute, yes.

299
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:34,779
- And you already gave her the money?
- Yes.

300
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,573
Thank you.

301
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:46,207
Penny?

302
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,836
What?

303
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:52,213
I can't sleep.

304
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:56,551
Maybe that's because
your hole is still open.

305
00:18:57,928 --> 00:18:59,804
I'm homesick.

306
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:04,058
Your home is 20 feet from here.

307
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:07,228
Twenty feet, 20 light years.
It doesn't matter.

308
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:10,606
It's in a galaxy far, far away.

309
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,568
Damn it.

310
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,073
What do you want me to do?

311
00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:22,243
Sing "Soft Kitty."

312
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:26,330
That's only for when you're sick.

313
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:31,043
Homesick is a type of being sick.

314
00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:36,799
Come on, do I really have to?

315
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,135
I suppose we can stay up and talk.

316
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,890
[SINGING]
Soft kitty

317
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:45,474
Warm kitty

318
00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:48,477
Little ball of fur

319
00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:50,646
Happy kitty

320
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,232
Um...

321
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:54,609
Sleepy kitty.

322
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:55,776
Sleepy kitty...

323
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:57,403
No.

324
00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:00,531
Start over.

325
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:06,787
Soft kitty

326
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:08,372
Warm kitty

327
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,000
Little ball of fur

328
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,044
Happy kitty

329
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,795
Sleepy kitty

330
00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:17,465
Purr, purr, purr

331
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:21,636
- Penny?
- Yeah?

332
00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:25,097
Thank you for letting me stay here.

333
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:28,768
Oh. You're welcome, sweetie.

334
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:35,107
Okay, I'm sleepy now. Get out.

335
00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:48,537
Oh, good, you're finally home.

336
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,414
What were you doing at Penny's?

337
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:54,502
Well, we had dinner, played some games,
and then I spent the night.

338
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:55,920
Oh.

339
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:59,340
You'll be happy to know that I now
have a much better understanding...

340
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:00,925
...of "friends with benefits."

341
00:21:32,332 --> 00:21:34,333
[English - US - SDH]