1
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:04,836
- Kites ho!
- Kites ho!

2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,233
Kites ho!

3
00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:08,499
Kites ho!

4
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,838
Excuse me.
You're misusing the word "ho."

5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:16,543
It's an interjection used to call attention
to a destination, not an object.

6
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:20,346
As in, uh, "Land ho!"
or, uh, "Westward ho!"

7
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,915
Kites ho!

8
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,823
Hey, guys. What are you doing?

9
00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:29,724
Going out to discover electricity?

10
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:35,199
If you refer to the work of Benjamin
Franklin, he did not discover electricity.

11
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:38,930
He merely used a kite to determine
that lightning consists of electricity.

12
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:44,066
He also invented the Franklin stove,
bifocals and the flexible urinary catheter.

13
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:50,876
- Kites ho.
- We're heading out for some kite fighting.

14
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,678
- Kite fighting?
- Oh, yeah.

15
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:56,084
It's an extremely competitive,
cutthroat sport.

16
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,922
Well, actually,
the risk of throat-cutting is very low.

17
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:04,462
On the other hand, severe string burn
is a real and ever-present danger.

18
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:09,959
- Uh, you wanna come watch?
- Oh, gee, ha, sounds amazing.

19
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:12,128
But, um, I've got some friends
coming over.

20
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:14,570
We're just gonna watch
the Nebraska game.

21
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,868
Oh, football, sure.

22
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:18,875
Good guess.

23
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:23,078
I would've invited you,
but you're not a fan.

24
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,411
No. No, I'm not. So, great.

25
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:27,879
You've got plans
doing something you like...

26
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:30,717
...I've got plans doing something I like,
so it's good.

27
00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:33,223
Maybe we'll hang out
after everybody's gone.

28
00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:36,658
- Yeah, great.
- See you.

29
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,831
Well, this sucks.

30
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:45,334
I'm sorry, I got bored and drifted off.

31
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:51,140
Where exactly in the interaction
did the sucking lie?

32
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,406
Leonard realized Penny's hiding him
from her friends...

33
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:57,607
...because he's a tiny little man
who flies kites.

34
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,119
Oh, that certainly would suck.

35
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,848
Wolowitz is trying to outflank us.

36
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:35,318
Let out some string, add altitude,
I'll go under and cut his line.

37
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:38,120
Why wouldn't Penny
want her friends to meet me?

38
00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,553
Focus, Leonard, focus.

39
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:43,719
The heat of battle is upon us.
The dogs of war are unleashed.

40
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:46,866
Maybe Koothrappali's right,
maybe I embarrass her.

41
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,331
You're embarrassing me.

42
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,470
A grown man worrying
about such nonsense.

43
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:53,128
We're in the middle of flying kites.

44
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:57,343
- Sorry.
- Sorry won't bring their kites down.

45
00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:00,036
Ouch! String burn. String burn.

46
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:05,881
Oh, they think we're flanking.
They're playing right into our hands.

47
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:08,647
At the count of three,
we execute the flying scissor.

48
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:11,848
- One, two, thre...
- Whoa.

49
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,356
- You see that?
- See what?

50
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,825
- That chick. She smiled at me.
- No, she didn't.

51
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,930
- She did.
- Come on, scissors, scissors.

52
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:21,033
- Hold my line.
- What? I can't scissors by myself.

53
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,533
Howard, come back!

54
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,601
Victory!

55
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:29,198
Son of a bitch.

56
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:33,938
You're a sucky friend, you know that?

57
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:36,275
A sucky, sucky friend.

58
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:40,610
What was I supposed to do?
She gave me that come-hither look.

59
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:43,779
If she gave you any look at all,
it was a you-suck look.

60
00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:48,255
I would've caught up to her
if I hadn't pulled a hammy.

61
00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:52,057
Oh, please, you weigh 80 pounds,
you don't have a hammy.

62
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:56,024
So Penny doesn't want me around her
friends. I embarrass her. What else?

63
00:03:56,436 --> 00:04:00,463
Well, her actions could be
out of concern for your feelings.

64
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,972
Perhaps she's excluded you
from these gatherings...

65
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:06,909
...because she's scouting for a new mate
and doesn't wanna do it in front of you.

66
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:10,478
Oh, how kind of her.

67
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:14,250
Agreed. Most primates don't show
that sort of discretion.

68
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,982
A female bonobo will copulate with
a new male in front of the old one...

69
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:20,752
...without so much as a,
"How do you do?"

70
00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:24,659
You always do this. Ditch me
for a woman you don't have a shot with.

71
00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:27,766
- I totally had a shot.
- With a woman you were chasing in a park.

72
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,595
That's not a shot, that's a felony.

73
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:35,432
What's worse, it cost me
my prized Patang fighting kite.

74
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:39,467
I don't suppose there's any chance
you could give me my kite back?

75
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,905
I'm sorry, Raj,
but the rules of aerial warfare dictate...

76
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,074
...that the fallen kite go to the victor.

77
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,743
And without rules,
the competition has no meaning.

78
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:50,947
And without meaning, the following
would be an empty gesture:

79
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:55,417
<i>I have your kite, I have your kite</i>

80
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,129
- Hey.
- Hi.

81
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,636
How was your football party?

82
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,970
- It was pretty good, we won.
- Oh, wow, that's excellent.

83
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,838
Weird figure of speech, isn't it?

84
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,879
"We won,"
when you weren't actually playing.

85
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:19,619
<i>When we watch Star Wars, we don't say,
"W e defeated the Empire." Ha, ha.</i>

86
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,045
I'm glad to hear it.

87
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,355
Oh, hey, on a related subject...

88
00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:28,289
...are you embarrassed
to have me around your friends?

89
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:31,895
Oh, my God, no.
Why would you ask that?

90
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:35,899
Well, you know, I just noticed
I haven't really met any of them.

91
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,696
- Sure you have.
- Well, yeah, no.

92
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,862
I met the huge ex-boyfriend...

93
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:45,034
...and the smaller-yet-still-larger-than-me
ex-boyfriend.

94
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,070
By the way, were they here today?

95
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,579
- Of course not.
- Why would they? Why would I ask?

96
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:52,343
Why am I rambling?
Why don't you stop me?

97
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:56,082
Leonard, look, if you wanna meet
my friends, that would be great.

98
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:58,816
I just... You know,
I didn't want you to be bored.

99
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,358
I wouldn't be bored.
Why would I be bored?

100
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,928
Well, because they're not
genius scientists.

101
00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,592
Penny, I like all sorts of people.

102
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:10,099
In fact, some of my best friends
aren't geniuses.

103
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,062
Like who?

104
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:18,767
Okay, some of my Facebook friends
aren't geniuses.

105
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:21,505
But... My point is,
if we're gonna be a couple...

106
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:24,582
- ...I should be friends with your friends.
- Okay, great.

107
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:27,549
Why don't you come over next Saturday
and watch the game?

108
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,246
Another football game?

109
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,089
They have them every week.

110
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:34,393
Did not know that.

111
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,086
- You wanted to meet my friends.
- Sure.

112
00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,289
Just...
I don't know much about football.

113
00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:41,559
The guys' girlfriends
don't know football.

114
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:44,135
They just kind of drink
and talk in the kitchen.

115
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,470
Great.

116
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,734
<i>Looking left, he's got nothing.</i>

117
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,972
<i>- He drops off a screen, out of bounds...
- Okay, a completed pass.</i>

118
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:57,639
First down, New England.

119
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:02,050
- I think I'm starting to get this.
- Really?

120
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:05,749
The only thing I've learned is that
American men love drinking beer...

121
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,986
...pee too often,
and have trouble getting erections.

122
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:15,965
Focus on the game,
not the commercials, Raj.

123
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:19,264
If people cut back on the beer,
you could get out the bathroom...

124
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,408
...and satisfy your women
without pharmaceutical help.

125
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:26,403
Raj, what are you doing here?

126
00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:28,843
You were supposed to help me
pimp out my Vespa.

127
00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:32,410
Are you under the impression
that we're still friends?

128
00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:33,609
Ugh.

129
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:37,848
Come on, you're not still grinding
on the kite thing, are you?

130
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,457
It's not just the kite thing.

131
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,617
Every time we go someplace,
you dump me...

132
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:45,026
...whenever someone pretty comes
even though you don't have a shot.

133
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,189
I had a shot with that jogger.

134
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:51,167
Fine. Paint green flames
on your little scooter with her.

135
00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:53,862
It's not a little scooter.

136
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:57,032
It's the second-biggest Vespa
they make!

137
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,313
You're watching football?

138
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,642
There's no fooling you.

139
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:08,176
Now, what is this "sacks" statistic
they put up there?

140
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:11,882
All I know about Saks
is my mother shops there.

141
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,856
Sacks, sacks.

142
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,521
It's football nomenclature
for when a quarterback...

143
00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:21,792
...is tackled behind the line
of scrimmage.

144
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:23,458
Huh.

145
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,465
Scrimmage.

146
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:31,503
The line of scrimmage
is the imaginary transverse line...

147
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:34,169
...separating the offense
from the defense.

148
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,171
Oh.

149
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:39,046
Sheldon knows football?

150
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:44,146
- Apparently.
- I mean, Quidditch, sure. But football?

151
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:49,420
- Sheldon, how do you know this stuff?
- I grew up in Texas.

152
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:51,655
Football is ubiquitous in Texas.

153
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:55,733
There's pro football, college football,
high school football, peewee football...

154
00:08:55,902 --> 00:09:00,498
In fact, every form of football
except the original, European football.

155
00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:03,938
Which most Texans believe
to be a commie plot.

156
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,002
- Unbelievable.
- If interested...

157
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:11,674
...I also know all about frying meat
that isn't chicken as if it were chicken.

158
00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,784
So you could teach me?

159
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,693
Football or chicken-fried meats?

160
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:24,688
Football. I'm going to Penny's
to watch a game with her friends.

161
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:27,458
I don't wanna look like an idiot.
I wanna blend in.

162
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:28,965
If you wanna blend in...

163
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:32,400
...I'd think looking like an idiot
would be the perfect camouflage.

164
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,467
Sheldon, teach me football.
It'll be fun.

165
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,642
That's exactly what my father said.

166
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,712
"Come to the games.
Watch the games."

167
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,212
Week in and week out,
from the time I was 5...

168
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:47,615
...until I went off to college.
Longest seven years of my life.

169
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:50,616
Please, I'm asking you as a friend.

170
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:55,752
Are you making this
a tier-one friendship request?

171
00:09:56,896 --> 00:10:00,127
- Yes.
- Fine.

172
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,761
- I really appreciate this.
- Yeah, yeah.

173
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,996
All right, poindexter,
sit down, shut up and listen.

174
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:08,432
I'm sorry?

175
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:12,009
Oh, that's how my father
always began our football conversations.

176
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:15,312
And if you'd like, after the game,
I'll teach you...

177
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:18,508
...how to shoot close enough
to a raccoon that it craps itself.

178
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:44,600
When are you gonna stop
making Cylon toast?

179
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,542
When I have enough to destroy
the human toast...

180
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:50,114
...on the Battlestar
known as Galactica.

181
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,513
Is that what you're wearing
to watch football?

182
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,286
- What's wrong with a football jersey?
- Nothing.

183
00:10:57,457 --> 00:11:00,449
That, however,
appears to be a football cocktail dress.

184
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,624
It's the smallest size they had.

185
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:08,164
Except the one for dogs.

186
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:11,036
I can't believe they had one for dogs.

187
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:14,970
Oh, yes. Canine football fans
are a common sight in Texas.

188
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:18,372
Cats, however,
refuse to wear sporting apparel.

189
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,642
My sister found that out the hard way.

190
00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:25,377
- Anyway, wish me luck.
- Leonard, wait.

191
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:28,180
Am I correct in assuming
that your attempt...

192
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:32,552
...to be accepted by Penny's peers
is based on your desire to ensure...

193
00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:35,751
...your continuing mating privileges
with her?

194
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,888
Well, I wouldn't put it
exactly that way.

195
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,158
How would you put it?

196
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:44,561
Yeah, okay, like you said.

197
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:50,234
Huh. Seems like an awful lot of trouble
to go through for intercourse.

198
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:54,443
Don't you have access to women
who will do it for money?

199
00:11:57,417 --> 00:12:02,081
By the way, another accepted usage
for the term "ho."

200
00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:05,351
Goodbye, Sheldon.

201
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,556
Now, hold on.

202
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:11,060
I believe that social convention dictate
you not arrive empty-handed.

203
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,859
Would you like to bring
some Cylon toast?

204
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:18,133
Yeah, no, I'm trying to fit in,
not get laughed at.

205
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:24,609
What's funny about Cylon toast?

206
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,574
It's open.

207
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,886
Hey, pal.

208
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,085
What do you want?

209
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:38,918
I brought you a little gift.

210
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,423
New kite.

211
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:45,760
The kite you made me lose
was an authentic Patang.

212
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,423
An Indian kite my brother sent
to me from New Delhi.

213
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,900
It took me a day to put together
and two days to paint.

214
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:54,301
This is Hello Kitty.

215
00:12:56,776 --> 00:13:00,234
Yeah, but it comes
with a little coin purse.

216
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:02,438
Does a Patang?

217
00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:05,080
Wow, you just don't get it, do you?

218
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:09,347
Buying me something pretty isn't gonna
make our problem just go away.

219
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:14,520
Look, I admit I haven't always been
the best friend I could be.

220
00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:17,788
You've been a sucky friend.
A sucky, sucky friend.

221
00:13:18,197 --> 00:13:20,665
- Stipulated.
- And you do it all the time.

222
00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:25,031
Last week, we were looking for a phone
with giant numbers for your mother...

223
00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:27,695
- ...and I realize you're not even there.
- I know.

224
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:29,102
And where were you?

225
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:32,472
Getting shot down by the girl
at Hot Dog on a Stick.

226
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,304
But in my defense, she was gorgeous.

227
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,813
And working that squeezer
to make the lemonade...

228
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:41,112
...going up and down
and up and down...

229
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:45,617
It was like a free pole dance
right in the middle of the food court.

230
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,451
You're impossible.

231
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:51,619
Hey, at least I can talk to women
without being drunk.

232
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:55,700
Excuse me, I have selective mutism,
a recognized medical disorder.

233
00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:58,200
You're just a douche.

234
00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:00,330
No. You know what?

235
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,565
Maybe that's what this whole thing
is about.

236
00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:04,972
You're not mad at me.
You're mad at yourself.

237
00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:08,807
No, I'm mad at you.
I hate myself, but I'm mad at you.

238
00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:12,013
Look, fine. You're mad at me. I get it.
Now...

239
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:15,744
How about we go
spend the day together?

240
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,982
Just the two of us.
We'll go anywhere you want.

241
00:14:20,259 --> 00:14:21,817
I don't know.

242
00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:23,928
Come on.

243
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:27,089
Let me take you someplace nice.

244
00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:33,603
I do enjoy the La Brea Tar Pits.

245
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:38,105
Really? Now?
With the traffic and the parking? It...

246
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:42,003
Okay, fine. The Tar Pits. Let's go.

247
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,082
Oh, why can't I stay mad at you?

248
00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:51,086
- Yeah.
- Ha-ha-ha.

249
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:56,055
<i>- Breaks tackle.
- Go, go.</i>

250
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,060
<i>- He breaks another.
- Go! Yes!</i>

251
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:01,530
Are you people watching this?
Is this amazing or what?

252
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:05,860
Sweetie, that's a highlight
from the '98 championship game.

253
00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:09,030
Oh. Did not know that. Ha.

254
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,274
- How much beer have you had?
- None, why?

255
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:13,742
Oh. Just kind of hoping you were drunk.

256
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:17,146
- Now we're back live.
- Okay, yeah.

257
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:19,477
No, I can see the difference.

258
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,987
- That's intentional grounding.
- Totally.

259
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:25,420
Yeah...
That completely was a forward pass...

260
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:29,049
...which they threw intentionally
incomplete to avoid loss of yardage...

261
00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:30,957
...or to conserve time.

262
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:34,929
I can't believe they're not penalized
with the loss of a down...

263
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:39,333
...and by having to move the line of
scrimmage back to the spot of the foul.

264
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:45,770
- Here. Have some pizza, sweetie.
- Penny, you know I'm lactose intolerant.

265
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,072
I know.
I just need you to stop talking.

266
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:53,349
Penny. Penny. Penny.

267
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:56,780
- Sheldon, come in.
- Thank you.

268
00:15:56,956 --> 00:16:00,255
I'd like to make a sandwich,
but I'm out of bread.

269
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:05,156
- There's some in the fridge.
- You shouldn't keep bread in the fridge.

270
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:08,129
Staleness is caused
by crystallization of the starch...

271
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,428
...which occurs faster
at cool temperatures.

272
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:13,299
On Earth, we say, "Thank you."

273
00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:17,165
So, Leonard, how goes the mimesis?

274
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:22,042
- Mimesis?
- You know, mimesis.

275
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:25,013
An action in which the mimic
takes on the properties...

276
00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:27,982
...of a specific object or organism.

277
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,179
Mimesis.

278
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,054
What the hell are you talking about?

279
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:36,695
I'm attempting
to communicate with you...

280
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:40,526
...without my meaning becoming
apparent to those around you.

281
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:41,792
Let me try again.

282
00:16:43,202 --> 00:16:48,970
Have the indigenous fauna
accepted you as one of their own?

283
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:52,006
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

284
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,343
Oh, I guess so.

285
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,881
Good. Oh, FYI,
after I eat my sandwich...

286
00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:00,917
...I'm taking Koothrappali's Patang kite
out for a test run.

287
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:03,681
Would you get your Delta Wing Raptor
and join me?

288
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:07,348
I don't wanna fly kites, Sheldon.
Come on, we're watching football here.

289
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,690
I can see that.
I was providing you with an alternative.

290
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:16,160
A courtesy I was never offered
in similar circumstances.

291
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:21,164
Oh, look at that. The Oklahoma coach
has thrown down a red flag...

292
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:24,036
...indicating he's challenging
the ruling on the field.

293
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:28,010
Hope he's right, because if he's not,
it'll cost him one of his three timeouts.

294
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:35,214
You know, Leonard, honey...

295
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:39,222
...I wouldn't mind if you wanted
to go fly kites with Sheldon.

296
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,293
I'll watch the end of the game.
There's three minutes left.

297
00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:43,723
Until halftime.

298
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,363
This is just half?

299
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,359
We've been here for hours.

300
00:17:48,534 --> 00:17:51,128
- You're gonna be here for a couple more.
- Oh, you're kidding.

301
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,636
- No.
- Nice meeting all of you.

302
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:58,435
So, yeah, anyway,
that's my boyfriend.

303
00:18:00,112 --> 00:18:02,444
He is really smart.

304
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:14,749
I really like my saber-toothed cat.
Thank you.

305
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,394
My pleasure.

306
00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:20,328
Maybe after lunch we can go
to Marie Callender's and have some pie.

307
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,763
- I'd like that.
- Heh.

308
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,931
This is turning out to be
a perfect Saturday.

309
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,596
Good, I'm glad.

310
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:34,739
Oh, man. Did you see the way
she smiled at me?

311
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,510
Fine. Go ahead.

312
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,344
No. This is our day.

313
00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:42,817
If you wanna chase after her,
chase after her.

314
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:46,850
Oh, who am I kidding? I wouldn't
have a shot with a girl like that.

315
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:49,324
Don't put yourself down.
You're very attractive.

316
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,262
- You think so?
- Yeah.

317
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:54,695
It wouldn't kill you to take a Pilates class
with me now and then...

318
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:57,358
...but you have a certain wiry appeal.

319
00:18:57,536 --> 00:19:01,597
Yeah, well, it doesn't matter,
because she wasn't really smiling at me.

320
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:03,207
In this case, I think she was.

321
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:04,768
- Really?
- Yeah.

322
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,206
Bye.

323
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,839
What a douche.

