1
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:05,803
So two years later,
there's a knock on the door.

2
00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:07,838
Guy opens it, and there is the snail...

3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,909
...who says,
"What the heck was all that about?"

4
00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:15,211
I don't really get it.

5
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:20,017
Well, see, it took two years
for the snail to...

6
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,886
Not important.

7
00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:27,585
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.

8
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:30,355
Where do you think this is going?

9
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,693
To be honest,
I was hoping at least second base.

10
00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:36,697
You're so funny.

11
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:40,365
You're like a standup comedian.

12
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:44,204
A Jewish standup comedian,
that would be new.

13
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:48,446
Actually, I think a lot of them
are Jewish.

14
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:52,379
No, I was just... Because... Never mind.

15
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:57,286
Look, Howard, this is our third date,
and we both know what that means.

16
00:00:57,457 --> 00:01:00,051
- We do?
- Sex.

17
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,393
You're kidding.

18
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:08,226
But I need to know whether
you're looking for a relationship...

19
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,960
...or a one-night stand.

20
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,930
Okay, just to be clear,
there's only one correct answer, right?

21
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:17,604
I mean, it's not like "Chicken or fish?"
on an airplane?

22
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,905
Maybe you need to think about it
a little.

23
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,911
Well, you know, it's not unheard of...

24
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,915
...for a one-night stand
to turn into a relationship.

25
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,253
Call me when you figure it out.

26
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,919
Three dates means sex?

27
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,728
Who knew?

28
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:47,231
Greetings, homeys.

29
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,140
Homette.

30
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,677
Why are you back from your date
so early?

31
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:57,511
Well, in romance, as in show business,
always leave them wanting more.

32
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:01,955
- What exactly does that mean?
- He struck out.

33
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:31,344
Hey, did you know
that three dates with the same woman...

34
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:33,543
...is the threshold for sex?

35
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:37,380
Actually, I've never had three dates
with the same woman.

36
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,615
With Penny and me, it took two years.

37
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:44,024
But now that I think about it,
that was three dates.

38
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,859
Okay, well,
before you and Penny hooked up...

39
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:49,298
...did she ask
for any kind of commitment?

40
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:54,202
No, she was pretty clear
about wanting to keep her options open.

41
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:58,075
I have something to announce,
but out of respect for convention...

42
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:00,907
...I will wait for you
to finish your conversation.

43
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,548
What are you talking about?

44
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,981
The cultural paradigm in which
people have sex after three dates.

45
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:07,211
I see.

46
00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:09,878
Now, are we talking "date"
the social interaction...

47
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:12,753
...or "date" the dried fruit?

48
00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:16,058
Never mind.
What's your announcement?

49
00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:17,321
Oh, good, my turn.

50
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:21,228
Well, this is very exciting, and I wanted
you to be among the first to know...

51
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,232
I hear you're gonna be on the radio...

52
00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:26,236
<i>...with Ira Flatow from Science Friday
next week.</i>

53
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:27,430
Thank you, Kripke...

54
00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:31,338
...for depriving me of the opportunity
to share my news with my friends.

55
00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:33,411
My pleasure.

56
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:37,516
- My thank-you was not sincere.
- But my pleasure is.

57
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:39,749
Let me ask you a question.

58
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,286
At what point
did National Public Radio...

59
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:46,187
...have to start scraping the bottom
of the barrel for its guests?

60
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,953
Eeh-eeh. Don't answer. It's rhetorical.

61
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:51,963
Well, why are you such a stupidhead?

62
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,697
That is also rhetorical.

63
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:59,437
I'm sorry you had to hear that.

64
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:01,471
Are you really gonna be on NPR?

65
00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:04,269
Yes, they're interviewing me by phone
from my office...

66
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:08,778
...regarding the recent so-called discovery
of magnetic monopoles in spin ices.

67
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:13,113
It's pledge week, and they're trying
to goose the ratings with controversy.

68
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:17,784
- Very cool. Congratulations.
- Thank you. My mother is very excited.

69
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:20,449
She's convening her Bible study group
to listen in...

70
00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:23,152
...and then pray for my soul.

71
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:25,462
I was on the radio once.

72
00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:27,725
I called into Fever 104 FM New Delhi...

73
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,903
...and was the fourth person
to say the phrase that pays:

74
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,231
"Fever 104:"

75
00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:40,942
That means "Fever 104:
Home of the really good current music."

76
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,248
It's much catchier in Hindi.

77
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:53,351
All right, these are the talking points
for my NPR interview tomorrow.

78
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:55,654
I need to make
sure they're simple enough...

79
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:59,026
...for the less educated in the audience
to understand.

80
00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:02,601
Howard, look this over
and tell me what's unclear to you.

81
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:06,865
I have a Master's in engineering from the
Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

82
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:11,374
It required the completion of 144 units
of grad work and an original thesis.

83
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,836
Yes.

84
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,346
Look this over
and tell me what's unclear to you.

85
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:22,121
You know, when Sheldon gives you
homework, you don't have to do it.

86
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:26,848
In fact, it's better if you don't.
Otherwise, the rest of us look bad.

87
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,624
- Hi, guys.
- Hello.

88
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:30,990
Yo, Raj, talk to me.

89
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:42,030
I'm sorry, just screwing with you.

90
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,478
Hey, Howard,
why haven't you called Bernadette?

91
00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:47,977
Did she say something?

92
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,810
Said she hasn't heard from you.
I thought you liked her.

93
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,144
I do, you know,
but she wants a commitment...

94
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,652
...and I'm not sure she's my type.

95
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:58,916
She agreed to go out with you for free.
What more do you need?

96
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:01,151
Look, Bernadette is really nice.

97
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:04,764
I just always thought when I finally
settled down into a relationship...

98
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:07,559
...it would be with someone,
you know, different.

99
00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:09,167
Different how?

100
00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:13,102
<i>Well, you know, more like Megan Fox
from Transformers...</i>

101
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:17,233
<i>...or Katee Sackhoff
from Battlestar Galactica.</i>

102
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,538
Are you high?

103
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:25,284
<i>You'd have a better shot with the
three-breasted Martian from Total Recall.</i>

104
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:30,920
Okay, now you're just being unrealistic.
Anyway, that movie was 20 years ago.

105
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,685
Imagine how saggy
those things would be.

106
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:40,259
You're gonna throw away a great girl
like Bernadette...

107
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:43,027
...because you're holding out
for some fantasy?

108
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:46,764
Hey, just because you settled
doesn't mean I have to.

109
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:51,276
Excuse me, I'm sitting here.

110
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,469
Hey, I did not settle for Leonard.

111
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:57,879
I mean, obviously, he isn't
the kind of guy I usually go out with.

112
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,450
You know, physically.

113
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,583
Again, I'm right here.

114
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:07,559
I do not judge a book by its cover.
I am interested in the person underneath.

115
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:09,718
I am here, right? You see me?

116
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:18,964
Hey, I'm interested
in what's inside people too.

117
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:22,302
But, you know, why is it wrong
to want those insides wrapped up...

118
00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:26,002
...in, say, the delicious caramel
that is Halle Berry?

119
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:30,412
Yes, you're delicious caramel too.

120
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:37,251
I will tell you why it's wrong...

121
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,824
- Excuse me, may I interject?
- What?

122
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:43,087
Biologically speaking,
Howard is perfectly justified...

123
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:47,427
...in seeking out the optimum mate
for the propagation of his genetic line.

124
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:48,658
Thank you, Sheldon.

125
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:51,599
Whether that propagation
is in the interest of humanity...

126
00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:54,001
...is an entirely different question.

127
00:07:56,142 --> 00:08:01,011
<i>This is Ira Flatow and
you're listening to NPR's Science Friday.</i>

128
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,843
<i>Joining us today by phone
from his office In Pasadena, California...</i>

129
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,879
<i>...Is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.</i>

130
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:09,647
Oh, this is gonna be a riot.

131
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,625
<i>Thanks for being with us today,
Dr. Cooper.</i>

132
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:16,386
My pleasure, Ira.

133
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:19,623
<i>Now, let's talk
about magnetic monopoles.</i>

134
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:24,236
<i>Can you explain to our audience
just what a monopole Is?</i>

135
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,803
Of course.

136
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:30,966
First, consider an ordinary magnet,
which has, as even the most uneducated...

137
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:34,011
...in your audience must know, two poles...

138
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:39,076
...a north and south pole.

139
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:42,312
If you cut that in half,
you have two smaller magnets...

140
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:45,322
...each with its own north
and south pole.

141
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:49,829
<i>Dr. Cooper, I think there might be
something wrong with our connection.</i>

142
00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:53,056
No, I hear you fine.

143
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:57,101
As I was saying,
an ordinary magnet has two poles.

144
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,602
The primary characteristic
of a monopole...

145
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:04,233
...is that it has only one pole,
hence, "monopole."

146
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:09,079
<i>A requirement for string theory,
or M-theory, If you will...</i>

147
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:11,774
<i>...is the existence of such monopoles.</i>

148
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:16,083
<i>I myself led an expedition to the
Arctic Circle In search of said particles.</i>

149
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,588
<i>Kripke, I found the nozzle.
I'm going to kill you.</i>

150
00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:30,626
So nice you could join me this evening.
You're looking lovely as always.

151
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,598
Thanks, Howard.

152
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:37,140
Always nice to be part
of your masturbatory fantasies.

153
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:41,437
Come on, Katee,
don't make it sound so cheap.

154
00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:46,449
I'm sorry. Fiddling with yourself
in the bathtub is a real class act.

155
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:49,277
Thank you.

156
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:52,948
So, ahem, shall we get started?

157
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:57,119
Sure, but can I ask you
a question first?

158
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,492
You wanna play Cylon and colonist?

159
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:02,499
No, I wanna know why
you're playing make-believe with me...

160
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:05,399
...when you could be out
with a real woman tonight.

161
00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:08,973
- You mean Bernadette?
- No, I mean Princess Leia.

162
00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:11,132
Of course I mean Bernadette.

163
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,745
She's a wonderful girl
and she really likes you.

164
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:18,641
- I know, but she's not you.
- I'm not me.

165
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:22,516
The real me is in Beverly Hills
with a tall, handsome rich guy.

166
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,657
- Really? Tall?
- Six-four.

167
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:26,155
Ouch.

168
00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:29,992
You've got a wonderful girl in your life,
and you're ignoring her...

169
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:35,032
...to spend your nights in the bathtub
with a mental image and a washcloth.

170
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:38,332
Howard!

171
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,530
What are you doing in there?

172
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:42,174
I'm taking a bath!

173
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:47,336
I hope that's all you're doing!
We share that tub!

174
00:10:49,048 --> 00:10:51,039
Don't remind me!

175
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,510
Oh, man.

176
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:59,681
All soaped up and no place to go.

177
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,197
How you doing, buddy?

178
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:11,963
I was humiliated on national radio.
How do you think I'm doing?

179
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:13,696
Come on, it wasn't that bad.

180
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,465
What do you want?

181
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:19,874
We represent
the Lollipop Guild, and we want you.

182
00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:28,815
- Okay, so Kripke played a joke on you.
- It wasn't funny.

183
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,046
I thought it was funny.

184
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,054
- Raj.
- You laughed.

185
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,891
Did you laugh?

186
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,263
I fell on the floor.

187
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:42,834
All right, he got you.
You can get him back.

188
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,903
- I refuse to sink to his level.
- You can't sink.

189
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:50,031
With all that helium in you,
you're lucky you don't float away.

190
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,579
Are you really admitting defeat?

191
00:11:54,747 --> 00:11:56,612
- I never admit defeat.
- Good.

192
00:11:56,783 --> 00:12:01,413
However, on an unrelated topic,
I'm never getting out of this bed again.

193
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:05,251
What if you could make Kripke
look even sillier than he made you look?

194
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,916
- I don't think that's possible.
- You're not helping.

195
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:10,858
I didn't come to help. I came to mock.

196
00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:13,254
Sheldon, what you need to do...

197
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:17,563
...is figure out a way
to exact vengeance on Kripke, like...

198
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,039
Like how the Joker got back at Batman...

199
00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:23,369
...for putting him in the Arkham Asylum
for the Criminally Insane.

200
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,773
He didn't stay and talk about his feelings
with the other villains.

201
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:30,279
He broke out
and poisoned Gotham's water supply.

202
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:33,977
Well...

203
00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:35,814
...I suppose I could poison Kripke.

204
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,957
- No, no.
- It's a simple matter.

205
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:42,288
There are several toxic chemicals
that would be untraceable in an autopsy.

206
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:45,661
Okay, that's the spirit...

207
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:51,327
...but let's dial it back
to a nonlethal form of vengeance.

208
00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:53,503
Oh.

209
00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:56,635
How about we put a whoopee cushion
on his office chair?

210
00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:01,478
He'll sit down and it'll sound
like he's flatulent even though he's not.

211
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:04,973
Let's keep thinking.

212
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,487
Oh, gee, you're too late.

213
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,922
Scarlett Johansson
and Wonder Woman were here...

214
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,652
...trolling around
for neurotic little weasels.

215
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:20,156
I came to talk to Bernadette.
She's working today, right?

216
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,097
- I don't think she wants to see you.
- Why not?

217
00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:26,170
Come on. You hurt her feelings
by not calling her all week.

218
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:29,433
Plus, I've been kind of talking
some smack about you.

219
00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:33,708
- Hello, Howard.
- Wait, Bernadette, I need to talk to you.

220
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,508
- I can't. I'm working.
- This will only take a second.

221
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:40,175
You asked me to think about
where our relationship was going...

222
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,014
...and I did.

223
00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:44,683
Bernadette...

224
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:50,021
...will you marry me?

225
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:55,193
Is this more comedy
that I don't understand?

226
00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:57,961
No, I'm serious.

227
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,696
I'm never gonna find another girl
like you...

228
00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:05,537
...who likes me and is, you know, real.

229
00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:09,705
- So this isn't a joke?
- No.

230
00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:12,043
Then you're insane.

231
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:15,551
I prefer to think of myself as quirky.

232
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:19,988
Howard, we've only been on three dates.
We haven't even had sex yet.

233
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:23,219
Fair enough. When's your break?

234
00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:25,329
Wow.

235
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:30,391
Don't you just hate
when this happens?

236
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,566
Wow.

237
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:40,509
All right, how's this for revenge?

238
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:46,913
A solution of hydrogen peroxide
and one of saturated potassium iodide.

239
00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:49,919
- What's this?
- Mountain Dew.

240
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,417
Ah. Refreshing.

241
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:57,927
Now, we're going to combine these
chemicals with ordinary dish soap...

242
00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:02,124
...creating a little exothermic release
of oxygen.

243
00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:16,441
- Foamy vengeance.
- Yes, exactly.

244
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,277
This is brilliant, Sheldon.

245
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,612
How are we gonna deploy it
in Kripke's office?

246
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:24,621
Already taken care of. Observe.

247
00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:29,985
This is a live shot of Kripke's lab
via a mini webcam I was able to install...

248
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:34,122
...thanks to a dollar bill discreetly placed
in the night janitor's shirt pocket.

249
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:37,667
At the same time, I also secured
large quantities of these chemicals...

250
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:40,738
...above the tiles in the drop ceiling.

251
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:44,809
Sheldon, you remind me
of a young Lex Luthor.

252
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,811
You flatter me, sir.

253
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:50,972
- Let me guess, motion sensors?
- Yes.

254
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:54,984
The reaction will be triggered when
Kripke reaches the center of the room.

255
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:57,620
Mwa, ha, ha.

256
00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:02,488
I gotta say, I am really impressed.

257
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,187
This is truly the Sheldon Cooper way
to get even.

258
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:12,595
It may be low-tech...

259
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:16,434
...but I still maintain
the whoopee cushion has comic validity.

260
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:18,841
Here comes Kripke.

261
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:20,945
Who's that with him?

262
00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:23,445
I believe that's the president
of the university.

263
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:26,380
- The board of directors. Abort! Abort!
- There is no abort.

264
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:30,352
- How could you not put in an abort?
- I made a boo-boo, all right?

265
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:34,857
<i>I think the board will really appreciate
how well we're using that NSA grant.</i>

266
00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:38,121
<i>Right here
we have a micro-controlled plasma...</i>

267
00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:48,532
Wow.
Looks like the Ganges on laundry day.

268
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,372
At least they don't know it was you.

269
00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:55,479
<i>Hello, Kripke.</i>

270
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,878
<i>This classic prank comes to you...</i>

271
00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:01,713
<i>...from the malevolent mind
of Sheldon Cooper.</i>

272
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:04,721
<i>If you'd like to see the look
on your stupid face...</i>

273
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:08,725
<i>...this video is being Instantly uploaded
to YouTube.</i>

274
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:13,730
<i>Oh, and a hat tip to Leonard Hofstadter
and Raj Koothrappali...</i>

275
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:18,496
<i>...for their support and encouragement
In this enterprise.</i>

276
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,407
Well, I'm going back to India.
What's your plan?

277
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,606
- Hey, here's your tip from Table 7.
- Oh, thanks.

278
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:33,752
- Mm-hm.
- Testing. Check. Check two.

279
00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:36,346
Oh, now what?

280
00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:39,514
- You want me to throw him out?
- No, that's okay.

281
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,922
Are you sure? He's small.

282
00:17:42,094 --> 00:17:45,291
Bet I could get a nice tight spiral
on him.

283
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:51,536
I wanna dedicate this number
to a great gal who I've done wrong.

284
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:55,531
<i>Bernadette</i>

285
00:17:56,242 --> 00:18:01,373
<i>I am so sorry
For trying to propose to you</i>

286
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:03,543
<i>Bernadette</i>

287
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:10,218
<i>You found It creepy
But that's just the kind of thing I do</i>

288
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:12,220
<i>Ahhh</i>

289
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:16,384
<i>I know now It was too soon
To talk of love</i>

290
00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:20,396
<i>It was just a crazy idea
That came to me In my tub</i>

291
00:18:20,566 --> 00:18:23,228
<i>But, Bernadette
Give me one more chance</i>

292
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:24,664
<i>Sweet Bernadette</i>

293
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:27,305
<i>I'll get the hang of this thing
They call romance</i>

294
00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:28,963
<i>Sweet Bernadette</i>

295
00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:31,666
<i>I dream to once again
Kiss your lips</i>

296
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,072
<i>Sweet Bernadette</i>

297
00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:37,181
<i>Sincerely yours, Howard Wolowitz</i>

298
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:38,408
<i>Bernadette</i>

299
00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:41,576
Oh, I am so sorry.

300
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:42,778
Are you kidding?

301
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,822
That's the most romantic thing
anyone's ever done for me.

302
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:47,984
<i>Bernadette</i>

303
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:49,684
Thank you, Cheesecake Factory.

