1 00:00:03,412 --> 00:00:06,040 All right. I'm ready for my next question. 2 00:00:06,682 --> 00:00:09,549 In a world where rhinoceroses are domesticated pets... 3 00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:11,516 who wins the Second World War? 4 00:00:15,091 --> 00:00:16,991 - Uganda. - Defend. 5 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,220 Kenya rises to power on the export of rhinoceroses. 6 00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:24,423 A central African power block is formed colonizing North Africa and Europe. 7 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,899 When war breaks out, no one can afford the luxury of a rhino. 8 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,334 Kenya withers, Uganda triumphs. 9 00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:34,804 Correct. My turn. 10 00:00:36,946 --> 00:00:41,007 In a world where a piano is a weapon, not a musical instrument... 11 00:00:41,184 --> 00:00:44,745 on what does Scott Joplin play the "Maple Leaf Rag." 12 00:00:45,955 --> 00:00:48,617 - Tuned bayonets. - Defend. 13 00:00:48,824 --> 00:00:51,952 - Isn't it obvious? - You're right, my apologies. 14 00:00:54,697 --> 00:00:57,222 What the hell are you guys playing? 15 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,733 It's a game we invented. It's called Counterfactuals. 16 00:01:00,903 --> 00:01:04,304 We postulate an alternate world that differs from ours in one aspect... 17 00:01:04,473 --> 00:01:09,274 then pose questions to each other. It's fun for ages 8 to 80. Join us. 18 00:01:10,246 --> 00:01:13,374 All right. I like a good brainteaser. I'll give it a whirl. 19 00:01:13,549 --> 00:01:15,278 You're in luck. This is an easy one. 20 00:01:15,451 --> 00:01:20,787 In a world where mankind is ruled by a giant intelligent beaver... 21 00:01:20,957 --> 00:01:23,585 what food is no longer consumed. 22 00:01:24,427 --> 00:01:25,758 Uh... 23 00:01:25,928 --> 00:01:29,557 A BLT where the B stands for beaver? I don't know. 24 00:01:30,866 --> 00:01:33,391 Leonard, be serious. We're playing a game here. 25 00:01:33,970 --> 00:01:35,597 Ahem, I can figure this out. Let's see. 26 00:01:35,771 --> 00:01:36,795 Um... 27 00:01:36,973 --> 00:01:39,271 Well, beavers eat tree bark. 28 00:01:39,442 --> 00:01:42,502 The only tree bark I know that humans consume is cinnamon. 29 00:01:42,678 --> 00:01:44,839 - So I'll say cinnamon. - Incorrect. 30 00:01:45,014 --> 00:01:48,472 Obviously, the answer is cheese Danish. 31 00:01:49,485 --> 00:01:52,784 - What? - In a world ruled by a giant beaver... 32 00:01:52,955 --> 00:01:56,015 mankind builds many dams to please the beaver overlord. 33 00:01:56,192 --> 00:01:59,525 The low-lying city of Copenhagen is flooded, thousands die... 34 00:01:59,695 --> 00:02:03,756 devastated, the Danes never invent their namesake pastry. 35 00:02:06,702 --> 00:02:09,000 How does one miss that? 36 00:02:10,306 --> 00:02:12,831 This is ridiculous. You're just making stuff up. 37 00:02:13,409 --> 00:02:15,172 Is he always like this when he loses? 38 00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:20,281 Oh, yes. You should have been here for the great Jenga tantrum of 2008. 39 00:02:22,051 --> 00:02:24,349 You bumped the table and you know it. 40 00:02:28,624 --> 00:02:32,492 Perhaps it would be kinder to play a game more suited to his abilities. 41 00:02:32,662 --> 00:02:36,359 We'll close our eyes and count to ten while you hide. 42 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:38,324 I'm going to my room. 43 00:02:38,501 --> 00:02:42,301 Very good, Leonard. But next time, don't tell us where you're hiding. 44 00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:14,264 See the paper in The American Physics Journal on supersolids? 45 00:03:14,437 --> 00:03:16,735 This guy's working from a hypothesis where... 46 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:19,568 - Spoiler alert, spoiler alert. - What? 47 00:03:19,742 --> 00:03:23,337 Don't ruin it for me, man. I printed out a PDF to read on the potty. 48 00:03:23,512 --> 00:03:25,503 On the potty? What are you, 5? 49 00:03:25,681 --> 00:03:27,808 - It's a potty. What do you call it? - Toilet. 50 00:03:27,983 --> 00:03:30,611 A little vulgar for the dinner table, don't you think? 51 00:03:30,786 --> 00:03:32,754 Oh, and potty is okay? 52 00:03:32,922 --> 00:03:34,822 Potty is innocent. Potty is adorable. 53 00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:37,525 What do you do in the potty, wee-wee? 54 00:03:38,327 --> 00:03:40,921 If I don't have to boom-boom. 55 00:03:41,097 --> 00:03:42,121 Greetings. 56 00:03:42,298 --> 00:03:45,028 - Uh, you all remember Amy Farrah Fowler. - Sure, hi. 57 00:03:45,201 --> 00:03:46,793 - Hello. - Sorry we're late. 58 00:03:46,969 --> 00:03:49,995 I must take responsibility. I had to stop for feminine hygiene supplies. 59 00:03:50,172 --> 00:03:51,605 - Ah! - Okay. 60 00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:53,537 I believe she's experiencing her menses. 61 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,608 Actually, I'm not. In order to avoid surprises... 62 00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:58,679 - ...I wear them all the time. - Okay. 63 00:03:59,949 --> 00:04:02,144 Toilet's sounding pretty good now, huh? 64 00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:05,712 Hey, look, it's Shamy. 65 00:04:05,955 --> 00:04:09,982 - Shamy? - A juvenile amalgamation of our names. 66 00:04:10,159 --> 00:04:12,787 Sheldon, Amy. Shamy. 67 00:04:13,162 --> 00:04:14,186 Oh. 68 00:04:14,363 --> 00:04:16,126 I don't like that. Don't do that. 69 00:04:17,233 --> 00:04:19,360 Heh. Alrighty. What's new? 70 00:04:19,535 --> 00:04:23,027 Recently, I learned that you refer to us as Shamy and I don't like that. 71 00:04:23,873 --> 00:04:27,741 I got it. But what I was going for was, you know, how's your life? 72 00:04:27,943 --> 00:04:29,376 Like everybody else's. 73 00:04:29,545 --> 00:04:32,480 Subject to entropy, decay and eventual death. 74 00:04:34,216 --> 00:04:37,049 Thank you for asking. Why is she not taking our order? 75 00:04:37,219 --> 00:04:38,413 I should have warned you. 76 00:04:38,587 --> 00:04:41,522 One has to navigate a labyrinth of social nonsense... 77 00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:43,487 before one can be fed here. 78 00:04:44,226 --> 00:04:47,320 I assumed that an establishment called the Cheesecake Factory... 79 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,327 would function more efficiently. 80 00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:52,695 It's how they lure you in. I believe it's called "bait and switch." 81 00:04:53,903 --> 00:04:57,669 Okay, I'm just gonna walk away because I don't wanna be here. 82 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:05,677 So this is nice. First time we've all gotten together to eat. 83 00:05:06,382 --> 00:05:08,748 You're right, he's a festival of humdrum chitchat. 84 00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:13,917 Okay, that's all I got. Howard, you're up. 85 00:05:14,290 --> 00:05:19,250 - Um, tell us about your work, Amy. - I doubt you'd understand. 86 00:05:19,428 --> 00:05:21,919 Sheldon tells me you only have a Master's degree. 87 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,300 Raj? Do you have any questions for Amy? 88 00:05:30,239 --> 00:05:32,730 I'm curious as to why we're not eating alone. 89 00:05:32,908 --> 00:05:34,637 They can't function without me. 90 00:05:34,810 --> 00:05:38,906 I'm the social glue that holds this little group together. 91 00:05:40,049 --> 00:05:41,107 You're welcome. 92 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,320 Listen, can I talk to you about your girlfriend? 93 00:05:46,522 --> 00:05:47,989 She's not my girlfriend. 94 00:05:48,157 --> 00:05:50,057 She's a girl and she's my friend... 95 00:05:50,226 --> 00:05:51,625 but there's no touching... 96 00:05:51,794 --> 00:05:54,922 or unsanitary exchange of saliva. 97 00:05:55,764 --> 00:05:56,788 Got it. 98 00:05:56,966 --> 00:05:58,558 Although, on one occasion... 99 00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:01,225 she licked her thumb to remove raspberry jelly... 100 00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,098 from the corner of my mouth. 101 00:06:03,272 --> 00:06:05,968 It was an action we both regret to this day. 102 00:06:06,141 --> 00:06:09,076 Uh-huh. Anyway. I'm not sure she's the best fit... 103 00:06:09,245 --> 00:06:12,646 for our little, how should we call it, rebel alliance. 104 00:06:12,815 --> 00:06:15,978 Oh, I never identified with the Rebel Alliance. 105 00:06:16,151 --> 00:06:18,619 Despite their tendency to build Death Stars... 106 00:06:18,787 --> 00:06:21,756 I've always been more of an Empire man. 107 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,855 - Yeah, not my point. - I know what your point is. 108 00:06:25,060 --> 00:06:29,656 You're intimidated by Amy's intellect. To that, I say buck up. 109 00:06:29,832 --> 00:06:31,527 Okay, let me just get right to it. 110 00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:37,468 Amy is judgmental, sanctimonious and frankly, just obnoxious. 111 00:06:38,474 --> 00:06:40,374 So? 112 00:06:40,576 --> 00:06:42,476 So we already have you for all that. 113 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:47,272 Are you suggesting I terminate my relationship with Amy? 114 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:51,818 No, no, of course not. Just have your relationship someplace else. 115 00:06:51,987 --> 00:06:54,888 May I point out that for eight long months... 116 00:06:55,090 --> 00:06:57,888 I suffered in silence as your female companion... 117 00:06:58,093 --> 00:07:03,360 filled our apartment with her off-key country music caterwauling... 118 00:07:03,532 --> 00:07:06,899 the unappetizing spectacle of her grinding a pumice stone... 119 00:07:07,102 --> 00:07:09,798 against her calloused feet in our living room... 120 00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:13,169 and night after night of uninformative TV documentaries... 121 00:07:13,342 --> 00:07:15,810 about the Jersey Shore. 122 00:07:17,413 --> 00:07:20,246 Suffered in silence? 123 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,311 Yes. 124 00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:26,386 And I'd thank you to do the same. 125 00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:30,317 Real... Silence? 126 00:07:33,629 --> 00:07:36,598 Ah. Nothing makes beer taste better... 127 00:07:36,765 --> 00:07:40,724 than cool clear Rocky Mountain spring water. 128 00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:42,998 Where are the Rocky Mountains? 129 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,437 Philadelphia. 130 00:07:47,443 --> 00:07:49,343 I thought they were out west someplace. 131 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:53,777 Think about it, Raj. Where did the movie Rocky take place? 132 00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:56,278 Philadelphia. 133 00:07:56,452 --> 00:07:58,181 Okay, now I get it. 134 00:07:59,922 --> 00:08:05,053 So this is the plan? We're gonna hide out here to avoid the Shamy? 135 00:08:05,227 --> 00:08:06,694 I'm very comfortable here. 136 00:08:07,363 --> 00:08:11,231 Penny, dear, why don't you shoot another Silver Bullet my way. 137 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,231 Get one yourself. 138 00:08:13,402 --> 00:08:16,462 Ooh, somebody's been taking bitchy pills. 139 00:08:18,107 --> 00:08:20,200 God, he's an ass when he drinks. 140 00:08:20,376 --> 00:08:23,209 Well, he's an ass when he doesn't. You just don't hear it. 141 00:08:24,413 --> 00:08:26,711 We need to start entertaining the possibility... 142 00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:28,577 Shamy could go on for years. 143 00:08:28,751 --> 00:08:31,151 If that's the case, Penny will get satellite TV... 144 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:35,120 and maybe once a week, run a vacuum through this place. 145 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,058 I thought you were gonna talk to Sheldon? 146 00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:41,924 - I did. - Well, what did he say? 147 00:08:42,097 --> 00:08:45,430 Well, he pointed out that he kind of, sort of, had to put up with you. 148 00:08:45,634 --> 00:08:48,728 - Kind of, sort of, had to? - Well, I didn't agree with him. 149 00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:51,600 - Well, you defended me, right? - I tried, but... 150 00:08:55,944 --> 00:08:58,913 He made a fairly well-reasoned argument. 151 00:09:00,282 --> 00:09:03,115 - You're not doing that right. - What? 152 00:09:03,652 --> 00:09:04,744 - Give me. - No. 153 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:05,944 - No, trust me. - No. 154 00:09:06,121 --> 00:09:08,112 I do this for my Mom all the time. 155 00:09:10,359 --> 00:09:13,522 See? With the grain. 156 00:09:14,430 --> 00:09:16,227 Wow, that is better. 157 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:19,158 And someday, when you have varicose veins... 158 00:09:19,334 --> 00:09:21,768 I'll show you how to massage them. 159 00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:27,870 Oh, God, never again. 160 00:09:28,043 --> 00:09:31,479 I assume you mean never again will you drink all of Penny's beer... 161 00:09:31,647 --> 00:09:34,138 run to the gas station for a couple of 40s... 162 00:09:34,316 --> 00:09:38,548 a box of Slim Jims and the latest issue of Bombay Badonkadonks. 163 00:09:40,255 --> 00:09:42,155 I was homesick. 164 00:09:42,691 --> 00:09:44,522 The highlight was when you showed us... 165 00:09:44,693 --> 00:09:46,354 your Bollywood break-dancing skills. 166 00:09:54,336 --> 00:09:58,500 - That's very offensive. - Yeah, we all thought so. 167 00:10:00,008 --> 00:10:01,805 - Oh, no. - What? 168 00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:04,070 John and Yoko. 169 00:10:05,013 --> 00:10:06,981 More like Yoko and Yoko. 170 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:08,377 - Greetings. - Hey. 171 00:10:08,550 --> 00:10:12,145 I brought Amy here to show her some of the work I'm doing. 172 00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:15,381 It's very impressive. For theoretical work. 173 00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:18,657 Do I detect a hint of condescension? 174 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,590 I'm sorry, was I being too subtle? 175 00:10:21,697 --> 00:10:24,860 I meant compared to the real-world applications of neurobiology... 176 00:10:25,033 --> 00:10:28,491 theoretical physics is... What's the word I'm looking for? Hmm, cute. 177 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,501 Oh. 178 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:35,234 Are you suggesting the work of a neurobiologist like Babinski... 179 00:10:35,410 --> 00:10:38,106 could ever rise to the significance of a physicist... 180 00:10:38,313 --> 00:10:40,873 like Clerk Maxwell or Dirac? 181 00:10:41,049 --> 00:10:42,539 I'm stating it outright. 182 00:10:42,718 --> 00:10:47,314 Babinski eats Dirac for breakfast and defecates Clerk Maxwell. 183 00:10:49,625 --> 00:10:51,320 You take that back. 184 00:10:52,828 --> 00:10:56,264 Absolutely not. My colleagues and I map the neurological substrates... 185 00:10:56,431 --> 00:10:58,763 that subserve global information processing... 186 00:10:58,934 --> 00:11:02,631 which is required for cognitive reasoning, including scientific inquiry... 187 00:11:02,838 --> 00:11:05,932 making my research, ipso facto, prior in the ordo cognoscendi. 188 00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:10,405 That means it's better than his research, and by extension, of course, yours. 189 00:11:13,982 --> 00:11:16,041 I'm sorry, I'm still trying to work... 190 00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:19,483 on the "defecating Clerk Maxwell." So... 191 00:11:20,956 --> 00:11:26,292 Excuse me, but a grand unified theory, insofar as it explains everything... 192 00:11:26,461 --> 00:11:29,897 will, ipso facto, explain neurobiology. 193 00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:33,501 But if successful, I will map and reproduce your thought processes... 194 00:11:33,669 --> 00:11:35,637 in deriving a grand unified theory. 195 00:11:35,804 --> 00:11:38,739 And therefore, subsume your conclusions under my paradigm. 196 00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,774 That's the rankest psychologism... 197 00:11:41,944 --> 00:11:44,105 and was conclusively revealed as hogwash... 198 00:11:44,279 --> 00:11:46,873 by Gottlob Frege in the 1890s. 199 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:51,845 - We appear to have reached an impasse. - I agree. 200 00:11:52,020 --> 00:11:55,183 I move our relationship terminate immediately. 201 00:11:56,191 --> 00:11:58,421 - Seconded. - There being no objections? 202 00:11:58,594 --> 00:11:59,754 No. Uh-uh. 203 00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:02,457 The motion carries. 204 00:12:02,631 --> 00:12:06,533 - Good day, Amy Farrah Fowler. - Good day, Sheldon Cooper. 205 00:12:11,139 --> 00:12:12,766 Women, huh? 206 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:17,708 Can't live with them, can't successfully refute their hypotheses. 207 00:12:17,913 --> 00:12:19,676 Amen to that. 208 00:12:26,188 --> 00:12:29,351 - Hey, Sheldon. - Hello. 209 00:12:31,059 --> 00:12:33,823 I hear you broke up with Amy. 210 00:12:33,996 --> 00:12:36,760 A breakup would imply she was my girlfriend. 211 00:12:36,932 --> 00:12:42,370 She was a girl who was my friend who is now a girl who is not my friend. 212 00:12:42,537 --> 00:12:45,700 Wow, that's, like, the worst country song ever. 213 00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:50,202 So how are you doing? 214 00:12:50,379 --> 00:12:52,711 - Regarding what? - Amy. 215 00:12:53,348 --> 00:12:54,906 I don't follow. 216 00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:56,448 Well, breakups... 217 00:12:56,652 --> 00:13:00,110 or whatever the hell this is, can be tough. 218 00:13:00,289 --> 00:13:02,257 Penny, I assure you, I'm fine. 219 00:13:02,424 --> 00:13:05,450 My relationship with Amy was purely intellectual. 220 00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:07,253 There were no emotional bonds... 221 00:13:07,429 --> 00:13:10,091 the severing of which would cause me any discomfort. 222 00:13:10,265 --> 00:13:12,699 The relationship simply outlived its utility... 223 00:13:12,868 --> 00:13:15,701 and I'm continuing on with my life as before. 224 00:13:16,405 --> 00:13:17,702 Okay. Good. 225 00:13:17,873 --> 00:13:21,240 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy a pussycat. 226 00:13:23,879 --> 00:13:26,939 I gotta tell you guys, I'm a little worried about Sheldon. 227 00:13:27,115 --> 00:13:29,777 We're all a little worried about Sheldon. 228 00:13:29,952 --> 00:13:32,785 No. I mean, since the Shamy hit a reef. 229 00:13:32,955 --> 00:13:34,980 Oh, I thought you were making a generalization. 230 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:38,785 I'm worried about Sheldon someday setting off a low-yield nuclear device... 231 00:13:38,961 --> 00:13:41,259 because the cafeteria ran out of lime Jell-O. 232 00:13:42,297 --> 00:13:45,266 - What does "hit a reef" mean? - Uh, went splitsville. 233 00:13:45,801 --> 00:13:48,895 - Pardon? - Turned to boom-boom. 234 00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:50,736 Ah. 235 00:13:51,306 --> 00:13:53,240 I think Sheldon really misses Amy. 236 00:13:53,442 --> 00:13:57,435 You should lend him your copy of Bombay Badonkadonks. 237 00:13:58,013 --> 00:14:00,573 - He got a cat to keep him company. - You're kidding. 238 00:14:00,749 --> 00:14:03,650 He takes it everywhere. To bed, to the bathroom. 239 00:14:03,819 --> 00:14:05,616 He takes the kitty to the potty? 240 00:14:06,588 --> 00:14:08,283 I thought we discussed the P-word. 241 00:14:08,457 --> 00:14:11,790 Don't try to change me, dude. I am what I am. 242 00:14:12,527 --> 00:14:13,926 - Oh, gentlemen. - Hey. 243 00:14:14,096 --> 00:14:15,563 Oh, ho, ho. 244 00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:18,859 Aren't you gonna introduce us to your little friend? 245 00:14:19,034 --> 00:14:24,939 My apologies. Raj, Howard, I'd like you to meet Dr. Robert Oppenheimer. 246 00:14:26,308 --> 00:14:28,367 - Hello. - Hi. 247 00:14:28,543 --> 00:14:31,341 Now, if you'll excuse me, the father of the atomic bomb... 248 00:14:31,513 --> 00:14:32,980 wants a saucer of milk. 249 00:14:35,183 --> 00:14:37,310 Okay, I get it. We're worried about Sheldon. 250 00:14:37,486 --> 00:14:38,612 Yeah. 251 00:14:42,024 --> 00:14:45,323 Hey. Oh, no. 252 00:14:45,994 --> 00:14:48,827 Robert Oppenheimer was lonely. 253 00:14:48,997 --> 00:14:52,330 So you decided to get the whole Manhattan Project? 254 00:14:52,501 --> 00:14:55,698 Yes. This is Enrico Fermi, Richard Feynman... 255 00:14:55,871 --> 00:14:57,668 Edward Teller, Otto Frisch. 256 00:14:58,340 --> 00:15:01,707 - Zazzles. - Zazzles? 257 00:15:01,877 --> 00:15:04,175 I was going to name him Hermann von Helmholtz... 258 00:15:04,346 --> 00:15:06,837 but he's so zazzy. 259 00:15:09,651 --> 00:15:13,485 - Okay, we need to talk. - About what? 260 00:15:13,655 --> 00:15:15,054 Cats, Sheldon. 261 00:15:15,223 --> 00:15:17,316 You're clearly upset about Amy being gone... 262 00:15:17,492 --> 00:15:19,858 and you're trying to replace her with cats. 263 00:15:20,028 --> 00:15:21,495 - Clowder. - What? 264 00:15:21,663 --> 00:15:24,894 - Group of cats is a clowder or a glaring. - Okay, yeah... 265 00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:29,197 It's the kind of thing you ought to know now that we have one. 266 00:15:29,805 --> 00:15:34,606 Terrific. My point is, you need to face up to what you're feeling with this breakup. 267 00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:37,608 It wasn't a breakup. A breakup would imply that Amy was... 268 00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:40,077 Okay, I got it. She's not your girlfriend. 269 00:15:40,248 --> 00:15:44,207 Now, listen to me. I know about loneliness. 270 00:15:44,386 --> 00:15:47,082 I know about trying to replace someone with other stuff. 271 00:15:47,255 --> 00:15:50,247 When I broke up with Penny, I got back into my cello... 272 00:15:50,425 --> 00:15:52,393 built a bunch of model rockets. 273 00:15:52,561 --> 00:15:56,463 I got those weightlifting gloves and that five-pound dumbbell. 274 00:15:57,766 --> 00:16:00,257 You didn't break up, she dumped you. 275 00:16:00,435 --> 00:16:03,598 She didn't dump me. It was mutual. 276 00:16:03,772 --> 00:16:06,605 - I was there. She dumped you. - Okay, fine. 277 00:16:06,775 --> 00:16:09,767 Live with cats. Be like my Aunt Nancy. She had dozens of them. 278 00:16:09,945 --> 00:16:13,073 And you know what happened after she died? They ate her. 279 00:16:13,648 --> 00:16:16,742 You don't have to sell me on cats, Leonard. I'm already a fan. 280 00:16:21,289 --> 00:16:25,851 All right, fellas, who's in the mood for Fancy Feast? 281 00:16:26,428 --> 00:16:29,158 Well, that's not fancy at all. 282 00:16:33,502 --> 00:16:35,163 Hi, Mrs. Cooper. Thanks for coming. 283 00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,997 - Where is he? - He's in his bedroom. 284 00:16:37,172 --> 00:16:40,073 Now, when you said on the phone "he broke up with a girl"... 285 00:16:40,242 --> 00:16:42,107 you meant an actual girl... 286 00:16:42,277 --> 00:16:44,939 not something you kids whipped up in a lab? 287 00:16:45,747 --> 00:16:48,614 - No, she's real. - Did they sin? 288 00:16:48,783 --> 00:16:52,150 No, no. It's not like that. It's, uh... 289 00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:54,480 I don't know it's like. 290 00:16:54,656 --> 00:16:56,749 There is something I should prepare you for. 291 00:16:56,925 --> 00:17:00,122 Oh, relax, Leonard, I have raised that boy. 292 00:17:00,295 --> 00:17:02,627 I've seen him at his best, seen him at his worst. 293 00:17:02,797 --> 00:17:05,129 There's nothing he can do that'll surprise me. 294 00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:07,759 Hold on to that thought. 295 00:17:08,436 --> 00:17:09,801 Come in. 296 00:17:14,176 --> 00:17:15,803 Surprise. 297 00:17:16,011 --> 00:17:18,605 Mom, what an unexpected pleasure. 298 00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:22,511 My, my, that's a powerful smell. 299 00:17:22,684 --> 00:17:28,281 I'd like you to meet Oppenheimer, Frisch, Panofsky, Feynman, Weisskopf... 300 00:17:28,456 --> 00:17:30,390 Yeah, I get it. You got a lot of cats... 301 00:17:30,559 --> 00:17:33,119 and you gave them cute Jewish names. 302 00:17:33,328 --> 00:17:36,491 - What are you doing here? - Leonard called. 303 00:17:36,665 --> 00:17:39,498 He said that you were pining for a young lady. 304 00:17:39,668 --> 00:17:43,468 Oh, that's preposterous. I'm not pining over anyone. 305 00:17:43,638 --> 00:17:45,970 Oh, lamb chop, we can quibble what to call it... 306 00:17:46,141 --> 00:17:49,542 but I think we can both agree it's creepy. 307 00:17:50,178 --> 00:17:51,839 I do not agree. 308 00:17:52,013 --> 00:17:54,208 Cats make wonderful companions. 309 00:17:54,382 --> 00:17:58,512 They don't argue or question my intellectual authority. 310 00:17:58,687 --> 00:18:04,648 And this little guy here, I think you'll find to be quite zazzy. 311 00:18:06,228 --> 00:18:08,492 - You should have called sooner. - Yeah. 312 00:18:10,031 --> 00:18:11,999 Shelly. Dinner's ready. 313 00:18:12,167 --> 00:18:13,930 - Coming. - No cats. 314 00:18:14,102 --> 00:18:15,592 Aw. 315 00:18:19,874 --> 00:18:22,570 - What is she doing here? - I called her. 316 00:18:22,744 --> 00:18:25,440 Your mother thinks you might be losing your mind over me. 317 00:18:25,614 --> 00:18:28,242 As a neurobiologist, I was curious. 318 00:18:28,416 --> 00:18:31,874 Well, rest assured, I am in full possession of my faculties. 319 00:18:32,420 --> 00:18:34,513 Twenty-five cats! 320 00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:36,350 Oh. 321 00:18:36,524 --> 00:18:37,923 God bless you, dear. 322 00:18:38,093 --> 00:18:41,062 Sheldon, sit down. Let's talk. 323 00:18:41,229 --> 00:18:44,130 You're not fooling me. Whenever you say we have to talk... 324 00:18:44,299 --> 00:18:45,960 it means you want me to listen. 325 00:18:46,134 --> 00:18:47,965 - Then stop talking. - Yes, ma'am. 326 00:18:48,136 --> 00:18:50,934 Now, the reason I called Amy over... 327 00:18:51,106 --> 00:18:53,438 was to find out what type of person she is. 328 00:18:53,608 --> 00:18:55,200 And after chatting a bit... 329 00:18:55,377 --> 00:19:01,043 I have to say that while she is a perfectly unique young woman... 330 00:19:01,216 --> 00:19:04,515 you two are definitely not suited for each other. 331 00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:06,883 That's a peculiar conclusion. 332 00:19:07,055 --> 00:19:09,421 By any standard, Amy is more similar to me... 333 00:19:09,591 --> 00:19:11,081 than anyone I've ever met. 334 00:19:11,259 --> 00:19:13,887 Oh, I'm sorry, Shelly, I can't see it. 335 00:19:14,062 --> 00:19:16,428 Well, whether you see it or not is irrelevant. 336 00:19:16,598 --> 00:19:20,557 I can't see subatomic particles, but nevertheless, they're there. 337 00:19:20,735 --> 00:19:23,397 - Excellent point. - A physics point. 338 00:19:24,105 --> 00:19:25,834 Touché. 339 00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,270 Well, putting aside the pig Latin... 340 00:19:29,411 --> 00:19:32,175 it's a good that you decided to end the relationship... 341 00:19:32,347 --> 00:19:34,338 so I didn't have to end it for you. 342 00:19:37,085 --> 00:19:40,816 Amy, after consideration, I believe we may have acted rashly. 343 00:19:40,989 --> 00:19:45,153 I propose we resume our relationship and attempt to resolve our differences. 344 00:19:45,327 --> 00:19:46,487 Only if you stipulate... 345 00:19:46,661 --> 00:19:49,289 80 percent of our difficulties were caused by you. 346 00:19:49,464 --> 00:19:50,988 - I'll go as high as 40. - 65. 347 00:19:51,166 --> 00:19:52,599 Done. 348 00:19:53,768 --> 00:19:57,966 You understand we deal with the fact that my mother does not approve? 349 00:19:58,506 --> 00:19:59,871 I do. 350 00:20:00,075 --> 00:20:03,476 I find being cast in the role of bad girl oddly titillating. 351 00:20:06,014 --> 00:20:08,141 - Would you like to see my cats? - I would. 352 00:20:08,316 --> 00:20:10,648 I love cats. They're the epitome of indifference. 353 00:20:10,819 --> 00:20:14,152 Ah. Then you may find Zazzles a little cloying. 354 00:20:15,623 --> 00:20:17,284 I saw what you did there. 355 00:20:17,459 --> 00:20:20,656 He thinks he's such a smarty pants, he's no different from any man. 356 00:20:20,829 --> 00:20:23,525 Tell them not to do something, that's all they wanna do. 357 00:20:23,698 --> 00:20:27,099 If I hadn't told my brother Stumpy not to clear the wood chipper by hand... 358 00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:28,860 we'd still be calling him Edward. 359 00:20:30,872 --> 00:20:33,397 Now, don't you move, I'll bring over all the food. 360 00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:35,337 No, no, no, I can do it. 361 00:20:37,412 --> 00:20:39,710 Well, isn't that sweet? 362 00:20:46,221 --> 00:20:48,314 Thank you, Amy. 363 00:20:48,490 --> 00:20:49,514 Here's your cat. 364 00:20:50,992 --> 00:20:53,392 And here's your $20. 365 00:20:53,895 --> 00:20:55,089 Next. 366 00:20:55,263 --> 00:20:58,061 Thank you, Amy. Here's your cat. 367 00:20:59,334 --> 00:21:00,892 And here's your $20. 368 00:21:02,837 --> 00:21:04,702 Next.