1 00:00:07,881 --> 00:00:11,112 - Problem? - This is the worst cobbler I've eaten. 2 00:00:11,284 --> 00:00:15,380 It tastes like it's made of actual ground-up shoe maker. 3 00:00:15,555 --> 00:00:19,047 Amusing. A play on the two meanings of cobbler. 4 00:00:21,828 --> 00:00:25,423 Hey, guys. My baby sister Priya. 5 00:00:25,598 --> 00:00:27,589 Excuse me, I object. 6 00:00:27,767 --> 00:00:31,794 You propose a guessing game, yet you don't give me time to guess. 7 00:00:32,806 --> 00:00:35,639 For the record, I was going to say, "Your sister Priya." 8 00:00:36,609 --> 00:00:39,271 Oh, Sheldon, you haven't changed a bit, have you? 9 00:00:39,813 --> 00:00:41,405 Why would I change? 10 00:00:41,581 --> 00:00:44,709 The hope has been that you'd eventually bend to public opinion. 11 00:00:45,985 --> 00:00:47,782 So, what brings you back to L. A? 12 00:00:47,954 --> 00:00:50,013 I have a layover on my way to Toronto. 13 00:00:50,223 --> 00:00:52,020 - Corporate merger. - Can you believe it? 14 00:00:52,225 --> 00:00:55,194 Priya is a lead attorney for the biggest car company in India. 15 00:00:55,361 --> 00:00:58,330 Given that when we met her, she was finishing law school... 16 00:00:58,498 --> 00:01:01,490 and planning an internship at a large Indian car company... 17 00:01:01,668 --> 00:01:03,533 it's actually extremely plausible. 18 00:01:04,104 --> 00:01:06,868 And your poll numbers just keep dropping. 19 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,967 I want to catch up with all of you, but first I really must visit the loo. 20 00:01:11,144 --> 00:01:12,904 Ah, I'm going too. I'll show you where it is. 21 00:01:14,881 --> 00:01:17,179 This goes without saying, but I'm gonna anyway. 22 00:01:17,517 --> 00:01:19,451 Hands off my sister. 23 00:01:19,619 --> 00:01:23,282 Why would I touch her? She's covered with airplane germs. 24 00:01:23,990 --> 00:01:26,959 I am so not talking to you, I'm talking to him. 25 00:01:28,027 --> 00:01:29,619 Hey, heh, I've got a girlfriend now. 26 00:01:29,796 --> 00:01:33,630 Oh, please. My sister is much hotter than your girlfriend, and you know it. 27 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,358 Let's agree they're both hot. 28 00:01:35,535 --> 00:01:38,060 What...? Dude, that's my sister you're talking about. 29 00:01:38,838 --> 00:01:41,966 Okay, forget who's hotter. The first time Priya came to L. A... 30 00:01:42,142 --> 00:01:46,135 Leonard and I made a pact out of respect to our friendship and to you... 31 00:01:46,312 --> 00:01:48,371 that neither of us would hit on her. 32 00:01:48,548 --> 00:01:49,879 Did you pinkie swear? 33 00:01:52,685 --> 00:01:54,346 Yes. 34 00:01:55,655 --> 00:01:57,179 Okay, then. 35 00:01:57,590 --> 00:01:59,080 Cobbler. I'm still laughing. 36 00:02:01,594 --> 00:02:03,653 It's really nice to see you again, Leonard. 37 00:02:03,830 --> 00:02:05,855 Yeah, it's good to see you too. 38 00:02:06,032 --> 00:02:07,829 - Here you go. - Thanks. 39 00:02:11,604 --> 00:02:13,538 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 40 00:02:15,341 --> 00:02:16,808 Okay. 41 00:02:42,835 --> 00:02:44,962 You got any special plans with your sister? 42 00:02:45,138 --> 00:02:47,436 Oh, not really. Just hang out. 43 00:02:47,607 --> 00:02:51,134 I always tell people if you have only one day in Los Angeles... 44 00:02:51,311 --> 00:02:53,609 make it a train day. 45 00:02:54,113 --> 00:02:55,444 "Train day"? 46 00:02:55,615 --> 00:02:58,516 The fun starts with brunch at Carney's in Studio City... 47 00:02:58,685 --> 00:03:01,848 a hot dog stand in a converted rail road dining car. 48 00:03:02,055 --> 00:03:03,955 Next stop, Travel Town... 49 00:03:04,123 --> 00:03:07,684 an outdoor museum featuring 43 rail road engines, cars... 50 00:03:07,860 --> 00:03:10,920 and other rolling stock from the 1880s to the 1930s. 51 00:03:11,097 --> 00:03:14,624 Then finally, we're off to the glitz and glamour of Hollywood... 52 00:03:14,801 --> 00:03:17,793 for dinner at, that's right, the Hollywood Carney's... 53 00:03:17,971 --> 00:03:23,671 a hot dog stand in a different converted rail road dining car. 54 00:03:24,711 --> 00:03:26,872 I don't think we're gonna do that. 55 00:03:28,081 --> 00:03:30,106 Well, then apparently you hate fun. 56 00:03:34,254 --> 00:03:37,712 Hmm? Priya's not back yet? Well, I guess that's not unusual. 57 00:03:37,890 --> 00:03:40,017 Women, men, the whole sitting-standing deal. 58 00:03:40,193 --> 00:03:42,127 So, what are we talking about? 59 00:03:42,295 --> 00:03:43,660 Uh, my plans with Priya. 60 00:03:43,830 --> 00:03:45,695 He rejected train day. 61 00:03:45,865 --> 00:03:50,063 Did you make it clear it's two different train cars turned into hot dog stands? 62 00:03:50,236 --> 00:03:51,828 Abundantly. 63 00:03:52,005 --> 00:03:53,700 I guess he just hates fun. 64 00:03:54,674 --> 00:03:57,006 That's what I said. 65 00:03:59,646 --> 00:04:01,978 Okay, so, what's new with you guys? 66 00:04:02,148 --> 00:04:04,810 - I have a girlfriend now. - Hey. Good for you. 67 00:04:04,984 --> 00:04:06,508 I just wanna put it out there... 68 00:04:06,686 --> 00:04:10,053 in case I inadvertently squirt any pheromones in your direction. 69 00:04:11,190 --> 00:04:12,748 Happy? 70 00:04:14,527 --> 00:04:16,722 So, uh, what are your plans while you're here? 71 00:04:16,896 --> 00:04:18,864 I don't know, I just have the one day. 72 00:04:19,565 --> 00:04:21,499 Do you like trains? 73 00:04:22,235 --> 00:04:24,066 Not particularly. 74 00:04:26,739 --> 00:04:30,539 You might as well just wait at the airport for your flight. 75 00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:34,172 "You are in a forest. 76 00:04:34,347 --> 00:04:39,375 There is quicksand to the west, a path leads to the east." 77 00:04:40,286 --> 00:04:42,754 Go east. 78 00:04:42,922 --> 00:04:46,255 "An iron gate blocks your way." 79 00:04:46,893 --> 00:04:49,555 Open gate. 80 00:04:49,729 --> 00:04:52,562 "It's locked." Hmm. 81 00:04:53,299 --> 00:04:55,392 Well, so much for that. 82 00:04:58,304 --> 00:05:01,899 - It's pretty late. You're still up? - I found an emulator online... 83 00:05:02,075 --> 00:05:06,876 that lets you play classic text-based computer games from the 1980s. 84 00:05:07,046 --> 00:05:08,479 - That's pretty cool. - Oh, yes. 85 00:05:08,681 --> 00:05:11,275 It runs on the world's most powerful graphics chip: 86 00:05:11,451 --> 00:05:13,476 Imagination. 87 00:05:14,487 --> 00:05:17,183 You've really got to get out more. 88 00:05:18,324 --> 00:05:20,087 Go north. 89 00:05:20,259 --> 00:05:22,124 "You can't go that way." 90 00:05:22,295 --> 00:05:24,160 Go west. 91 00:05:24,330 --> 00:05:26,389 "A troll blocks your passage." 92 00:05:26,566 --> 00:05:28,761 Okay, fasten your seat belts. 93 00:05:30,570 --> 00:05:32,470 Kill troll. 94 00:05:32,638 --> 00:05:34,230 "With what?" 95 00:05:34,407 --> 00:05:35,635 With sword. 96 00:05:37,009 --> 00:05:38,977 "You don't have the sword." Good golly... 97 00:05:39,278 --> 00:05:41,746 it's as if it's actually happening to me. 98 00:05:43,916 --> 00:05:46,111 - Raj finally went to bed. - Yeah... 99 00:05:49,622 --> 00:05:50,953 Sheldon's still up. 100 00:05:51,124 --> 00:05:52,785 You said he goes to bed at 9. 101 00:05:52,959 --> 00:05:55,291 He got caught up in a computer game and... 102 00:05:55,461 --> 00:05:58,225 Hit troll with axe. 103 00:05:58,731 --> 00:06:02,963 Hit troll with axe. Hit troll with axe. 104 00:06:03,736 --> 00:06:06,534 Oh, my, this is one tough troll. 105 00:06:07,140 --> 00:06:08,334 Can't you get rid of him? 106 00:06:08,508 --> 00:06:11,102 If the past is any indication, no. 107 00:06:11,277 --> 00:06:16,044 Leonard, I'm trapped in quicksand. The axe is dragging me down. 108 00:06:16,249 --> 00:06:19,548 - Drop axe. - Drop axe. Brilliant. 109 00:06:21,988 --> 00:06:23,888 Give me a minute. 110 00:06:25,892 --> 00:06:27,519 - Sheldon. - Hold on. 111 00:06:27,693 --> 00:06:29,854 I need to figure out how to get the bucket... 112 00:06:30,029 --> 00:06:32,122 so I can carry the mud past the dragon. 113 00:06:33,032 --> 00:06:35,330 - You need to work in the morning. - I know. 114 00:06:35,501 --> 00:06:38,061 - Well, then bed, mister. - Five more minutes. 115 00:06:38,838 --> 00:06:40,635 Really? You'll risk getting sleepy... 116 00:06:40,807 --> 00:06:43,674 in the middle of your thermodynamic fluctuations seminar? 117 00:06:43,876 --> 00:06:46,538 You know what happens when you yawn in public. 118 00:06:49,782 --> 00:06:53,274 Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvula. 119 00:06:54,787 --> 00:06:57,017 And you don't want that, do you? 120 00:06:57,290 --> 00:06:58,723 No. 121 00:06:59,559 --> 00:07:04,360 But it's a shame our society mocks the differently uvulated. 122 00:07:05,998 --> 00:07:07,022 Who was at the door? 123 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,033 Uh, building manager. 124 00:07:09,202 --> 00:07:13,536 Uh, they have to fix a pipe, so the water will be off tomorrow from noon to 2. 125 00:07:13,706 --> 00:07:16,698 That's unacceptable. We're supposed to be given written notice. 126 00:07:16,876 --> 00:07:18,901 No, it doesn't matter. We'll be at work. 127 00:07:19,078 --> 00:07:22,241 What if I spill tomato soup on my shirt and come home to change... 128 00:07:22,415 --> 00:07:25,009 only to find there's no water for an enzyme soak? 129 00:07:25,184 --> 00:07:27,084 Bifurcated uvula, Sheldon. 130 00:07:28,321 --> 00:07:30,915 I'll have the chicken noodle. Good night. 131 00:07:34,427 --> 00:07:37,021 We're gonna have to be very quiet. 132 00:07:41,067 --> 00:07:42,864 I know how to get the bucket. 133 00:07:43,035 --> 00:07:47,199 I can turn the axe around and use the handle to reach it. 134 00:07:47,373 --> 00:07:49,136 Let's see... 135 00:07:49,909 --> 00:07:52,139 Go north. 136 00:07:52,345 --> 00:07:53,573 "You are in a forest." 137 00:07:53,746 --> 00:07:55,145 Go north. 138 00:07:55,348 --> 00:07:56,906 "You are in a forest." 139 00:07:57,083 --> 00:07:59,051 Go north. "You are in a forest." 140 00:07:59,218 --> 00:08:03,086 Oh, dear, I believe I'm lost. I'll have to get a fresh start tomorrow. 141 00:08:03,256 --> 00:08:06,748 No, no, no. You... You just need to map it out. Come on, I'll help you. 142 00:08:06,926 --> 00:08:10,453 So, uh, you stopped at the stream and you turned north three times? 143 00:08:10,630 --> 00:08:13,224 - Yes. - You're right, you're lost. Good luck. 144 00:08:20,106 --> 00:08:21,130 Oh. 145 00:08:21,307 --> 00:08:23,434 - Leonard, wake up. - Huh? What...? Uh, sorry. 146 00:08:23,609 --> 00:08:24,974 - For what? - I don't know. 147 00:08:25,144 --> 00:08:28,136 When I'm in bed with a girl, it's my go-to response. 148 00:08:28,881 --> 00:08:32,442 I have to get back to Raj's before he wakes up and realizes I'm gone. 149 00:08:32,618 --> 00:08:35,109 Oh, right. Sure. 150 00:08:35,621 --> 00:08:38,613 - Wish you could stay a while longer. - Hmm, me too. 151 00:08:38,791 --> 00:08:40,156 You know, I was thinking. 152 00:08:40,326 --> 00:08:43,124 There are some great research facilities in India. 153 00:08:43,296 --> 00:08:45,787 Where are you going with this, Leonard? 154 00:08:46,499 --> 00:08:49,957 Oh, I'm just saying, you know, I don't have any real ties here... 155 00:08:50,136 --> 00:08:55,130 so if I were to move to New Delhi, we could, you know, go out. 156 00:08:56,475 --> 00:08:59,308 Leonard, didn't we have this conversation five years ago? 157 00:08:59,478 --> 00:09:03,141 Well, yes, but things have changed. You're older, I'm older. 158 00:09:03,316 --> 00:09:05,341 Look, no more superhero bed sheets. 159 00:09:05,851 --> 00:09:09,014 Sweetheart, just because we have fun when I come to town... 160 00:09:09,188 --> 00:09:12,021 doesn't mean I want to have a serious relationship. 161 00:09:12,725 --> 00:09:14,056 - It doesn't? - Mm-mm. 162 00:09:14,226 --> 00:09:17,923 And besides, I could never bring a white boy home to my parents. 163 00:09:19,065 --> 00:09:22,694 They'd have a cow. Which is a much bigger deal in India. 164 00:09:23,469 --> 00:09:24,993 I'm not that white. 165 00:09:25,171 --> 00:09:27,162 My great-great-grandmother was half Cherokee. 166 00:09:27,340 --> 00:09:29,581 That's not the right kind of Indian, but it is something. 167 00:09:29,742 --> 00:09:32,006 Ha, ha, you're funny. Ha-ha-ha. 168 00:09:33,379 --> 00:09:35,813 Leonard. Leonard. Leonard. 169 00:09:37,183 --> 00:09:39,515 - What? - I heard a woman laughing. 170 00:09:39,685 --> 00:09:43,746 Oh, uh, yeah. I was trying to see if I could laugh as a woman. 171 00:09:45,925 --> 00:09:49,088 Oh. Well, good job. Quite convincing. 172 00:09:49,395 --> 00:09:52,091 - I smell perfume. - Air freshener. 173 00:09:52,264 --> 00:09:55,062 And is that lipstick on your cheek and neck? 174 00:09:55,234 --> 00:09:56,997 Uh, rash. That's a bad rash. 175 00:09:57,169 --> 00:09:58,193 My sympathies. 176 00:09:58,371 --> 00:10:01,966 I'm no stranger to the crimson scourge that is dermatitis. 177 00:10:03,576 --> 00:10:08,172 Can I interest you in a topical steroid from my lotion and unguent collection? 178 00:10:09,382 --> 00:10:11,043 Uh, yeah, yeah. That sounds great. 179 00:10:11,217 --> 00:10:15,551 Very well. I'm sure I can find something that will help you ditch that itch. 180 00:10:17,523 --> 00:10:19,514 Okay, he's in the bathroom. Let's go. 181 00:10:21,994 --> 00:10:24,224 Do you prefer ointment or cream? 182 00:10:24,397 --> 00:10:25,591 Uh... 183 00:10:27,299 --> 00:10:29,733 - Cream. - With or without a numbing agent? 184 00:10:29,902 --> 00:10:31,631 - Without. - Really, Leonard? 185 00:10:31,804 --> 00:10:34,568 There are no heroes when it comes to dermatitis. 186 00:10:35,641 --> 00:10:36,699 Fine, with. 187 00:10:36,876 --> 00:10:39,936 - Prescription or nonprescription? - Use your best judgment. 188 00:10:40,112 --> 00:10:44,412 Well, I think I have a nice 2009 AnaMantle HC. 189 00:10:44,583 --> 00:10:47,643 It's usually indicated for acutely inflamed hemorrhoids... 190 00:10:47,820 --> 00:10:52,314 but it also goes nicely with non-mucosal body parts. 191 00:10:53,826 --> 00:10:57,023 - Sounds great. - Excellent choice. 192 00:10:58,597 --> 00:11:00,428 Hurry. Hurry, hurry. 193 00:11:01,567 --> 00:11:03,728 Come on, come on, come on. 194 00:11:05,771 --> 00:11:07,466 Priya? 195 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,267 Good morning, Sheldon. 196 00:11:10,276 --> 00:11:13,768 For shame, Leonard. For shame. 197 00:11:15,347 --> 00:11:17,076 And to think... 198 00:11:17,249 --> 00:11:21,948 I was ready to waste the last of my good hemorrhoid cream on you. 199 00:11:29,161 --> 00:11:31,459 Making pretty good time, huh? 200 00:11:31,864 --> 00:11:35,027 Is that really what you wanna talk about, Leonard? 201 00:11:35,201 --> 00:11:37,692 - No. - What do you wanna talk about? 202 00:11:37,870 --> 00:11:40,430 Don't tell anyone I spent the night with Raj's sister. 203 00:11:40,606 --> 00:11:42,267 There it is. 204 00:11:43,576 --> 00:11:45,134 What if someone asks? 205 00:11:45,311 --> 00:11:47,939 No one will ask if I spent the night with Raj's sister. 206 00:11:48,114 --> 00:11:49,547 Perhaps. 207 00:11:49,715 --> 00:11:52,047 But they might ask me something else. 208 00:11:52,218 --> 00:11:53,412 Like what? 209 00:11:53,586 --> 00:11:57,886 Like, "Has Leonard betrayed any of his friends recently?" 210 00:11:58,057 --> 00:12:01,788 Priya and I are both adults. I didn't betray Raj. 211 00:12:01,961 --> 00:12:05,294 In fact, you did. But I was referring to Howard. 212 00:12:05,464 --> 00:12:08,262 - What are you talking about? - April 12, 2005. 213 00:12:08,434 --> 00:12:10,402 Bob's Big Boy, Toluca Lake. 214 00:12:10,569 --> 00:12:14,061 Raj had just introduced us to Priya for the first time... 215 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:17,334 and she was enjoying the sweet taste of Hindu rebellion... 216 00:12:17,510 --> 00:12:19,944 in the form of a Bob's Super Big Boy hamburger. 217 00:12:20,446 --> 00:12:22,346 In order to preserve your friendship... 218 00:12:22,515 --> 00:12:24,415 you and Howard made a pinkie swear... 219 00:12:24,583 --> 00:12:26,463 that neither of you would attempt to woo her. 220 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,715 I had a patty melt. 221 00:12:30,122 --> 00:12:31,851 Okay, fine, I betrayed Howard. 222 00:12:32,024 --> 00:12:33,787 - And Raj. - All right. And Raj. 223 00:12:33,959 --> 00:12:35,426 And me. 224 00:12:36,095 --> 00:12:37,119 You? 225 00:12:37,296 --> 00:12:41,198 Violation of the Roommate Agreement's overnight guest notification clause. 226 00:12:41,367 --> 00:12:46,168 Okay, fine. I'm a horrible human being. I'm the Darth Vader of Pasadena. 227 00:12:46,338 --> 00:12:48,670 You're far too short to be Darth Vader. 228 00:12:49,975 --> 00:12:52,671 At best you might be a turncoat Ewok. 229 00:12:53,112 --> 00:12:55,103 My point is Priya's gone... 230 00:12:55,281 --> 00:12:58,614 and it would be much better if no one else found out about us. 231 00:13:00,019 --> 00:13:02,544 - You want me to keep a secret? - Yes. 232 00:13:02,755 --> 00:13:04,347 You know I can't keep a secret. 233 00:13:04,523 --> 00:13:06,684 You can if you try. Think about it this way: 234 00:13:06,859 --> 00:13:11,489 Um, if I were Batman and you were Alfred, you'd keep that secret, right? 235 00:13:12,198 --> 00:13:14,291 Why do you get to be Batman? 236 00:13:14,466 --> 00:13:16,400 Because, uh, Batman has the secret. 237 00:13:16,569 --> 00:13:18,867 - Well, Alfred has secrets too. - Like what? 238 00:13:19,038 --> 00:13:21,905 Alfred knows that Barbara Gordon is Batgirl. 239 00:13:22,074 --> 00:13:25,771 Which I've now just told to Batman. See, I cannot keep a secret. 240 00:13:29,548 --> 00:13:31,345 Ta-da! 241 00:13:31,584 --> 00:13:32,778 What? 242 00:13:32,952 --> 00:13:33,976 Ta-da. 243 00:13:34,687 --> 00:13:35,711 It's short for: 244 00:13:35,888 --> 00:13:37,219 Da-da-ta-da. 245 00:13:38,524 --> 00:13:40,151 I'm kind of busy here, Sheldon. 246 00:13:40,326 --> 00:13:42,556 I know, that's why I shortened it. 247 00:13:43,996 --> 00:13:45,088 What do you want? 248 00:13:45,297 --> 00:13:48,755 I came to go over your alibi for last night. 249 00:13:48,934 --> 00:13:50,492 What alibi? 250 00:13:50,669 --> 00:13:53,502 You've asked me to lie on your behalf, and as you know... 251 00:13:53,672 --> 00:13:56,368 I'm deeply uncomfortable with impromptu dishonesty. 252 00:13:56,542 --> 00:13:59,943 So I've provided you with an ironclad alibi. 253 00:14:00,112 --> 00:14:02,512 You couldn't have spent last night with Priya... 254 00:14:02,681 --> 00:14:04,512 because you were with another woman. 255 00:14:04,683 --> 00:14:09,916 Oh, I'm so sure I'm gonna regret this, but who was I with? 256 00:14:10,089 --> 00:14:13,957 The fun-loving and morally loose Miss Maggie McGarry. 257 00:14:14,126 --> 00:14:15,457 Oh, God. 258 00:14:15,628 --> 00:14:19,724 You met her at Pasadena's most popular Irish watering hole, Lucky Baldwin's... 259 00:14:19,899 --> 00:14:22,265 where Maggie spends her nights tending bar... 260 00:14:22,434 --> 00:14:25,232 with a head full of curls and a heart full of dreams. 261 00:14:25,404 --> 00:14:29,101 "Leonard, call me if you're interested in coitus." 262 00:14:30,609 --> 00:14:32,907 "Sincerely, Maggie McGarry." 263 00:14:33,078 --> 00:14:39,313 And if anyone were to actually call that number, they will hear this: 264 00:14:39,485 --> 00:14:42,113 Top of the morning to you. 265 00:14:42,288 --> 00:14:43,915 You've reached Maggie McGarry. 266 00:14:45,124 --> 00:14:48,525 Leave a message after the wee little beep. 267 00:14:49,895 --> 00:14:53,422 It's pretty convincing, huh? That wasn't even a real person. 268 00:14:53,599 --> 00:14:55,567 And here is the clincher. 269 00:14:55,734 --> 00:15:00,296 A lock of Maggie's flaming auburn hair. 270 00:15:00,806 --> 00:15:04,401 - Where'd you get that? - From an orangutan in the Primate Lab. 271 00:15:04,576 --> 00:15:05,600 An orangutan? 272 00:15:05,778 --> 00:15:08,611 Well, no one's going to run a DNA test on it, Leonard. 273 00:15:08,781 --> 00:15:10,612 Honestly, you over-think everything. 274 00:15:10,783 --> 00:15:14,082 Look, Sheldon. Ugh, I don't need an alibi. 275 00:15:14,253 --> 00:15:17,984 Nobody's going to ask about last night as long as you just zip your lip. 276 00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:24,959 Thank you. Now, don't worry, everything's gonna be fine. 277 00:15:39,211 --> 00:15:40,439 - Hey. - Hey, Leonard... 278 00:15:40,612 --> 00:15:43,412 will you please tell Howard my sister's never been attracted to him? 279 00:15:44,249 --> 00:15:48,481 Well, come on, Raj, how am I supposed to know who she's attracted to? 280 00:15:48,654 --> 00:15:50,622 Or was attracted to? 281 00:15:50,789 --> 00:15:54,657 Or who she might be attracted to in the future? 282 00:15:55,527 --> 00:15:59,361 And I have nothing to contribute to this conversation... 283 00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:03,564 because I, too, know absolutely nothing... 284 00:16:03,736 --> 00:16:06,330 about Priya's preferences in male companionship. 285 00:16:07,206 --> 00:16:09,572 And with that, I will re-zip my lip. 286 00:16:12,177 --> 00:16:14,907 What did you guys think of Caprica last night? 287 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:18,311 - I didn't see it. - Didn't see it? Heh, what were you doing? 288 00:16:22,488 --> 00:16:25,321 - I... I was out. - What? On Caprica night? 289 00:16:25,491 --> 00:16:27,482 Yeah, uh, I went for a drink. 290 00:16:27,659 --> 00:16:31,527 Really? Heh, you? Where'd...? Where'd you go? 291 00:16:31,697 --> 00:16:33,528 To, uh... 292 00:16:39,738 --> 00:16:41,603 Lucky Baldwin's. 293 00:16:42,341 --> 00:16:45,538 Oh, I've heard of that place. 294 00:16:45,711 --> 00:16:49,306 Isn't that Pasadena's favorite Irish watering hole? 295 00:16:50,682 --> 00:16:53,617 - Yes. - Did you meet anyone interesting there? 296 00:16:53,786 --> 00:16:57,916 Perhaps a promiscuous redheaded barmaid? 297 00:16:58,090 --> 00:17:01,355 Uh, as a matter of fact, I... l... I can't. I can't. I can't do it. 298 00:17:01,527 --> 00:17:04,496 Sure, you can. You're doing fine. It's very believable. 299 00:17:05,397 --> 00:17:09,197 I'm sorry, Raj, but the truth is I was with Priya last night. 300 00:17:09,368 --> 00:17:10,392 Don't listen to him. 301 00:17:10,569 --> 00:17:14,369 He's lightheaded from all the whiskey and pickled eggs in his system. 302 00:17:14,540 --> 00:17:17,065 - What were you doing with Priya? - I believe coitus. 303 00:17:17,242 --> 00:17:20,439 But more importantly, if Leonard had not abandoned his story... 304 00:17:20,612 --> 00:17:22,477 would you have found it plausible? 305 00:17:22,648 --> 00:17:25,617 - Did you...? You slept with my sister? - Yeah. 306 00:17:25,784 --> 00:17:27,775 How could you? We had a pact. 307 00:17:27,953 --> 00:17:29,944 Excuse me, I think "She's my sister"... 308 00:17:30,122 --> 00:17:32,750 takes precedence over a five-year-old pinkie swear. 309 00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:36,753 May I point out in a parallel universe your friends are saying: 310 00:17:36,929 --> 00:17:39,159 "Maggie McGarry? She sounds lovely." 311 00:17:40,032 --> 00:17:42,728 Now, I admit it, I may have crossed a line here. 312 00:17:42,901 --> 00:17:45,961 But come on, Raj. Your sister is a grown woman. 313 00:17:46,138 --> 00:17:49,039 And to her, I'm a forbidden piece of white chocolate. 314 00:17:50,476 --> 00:17:53,104 I don't believe it. This is a betrayal of my trust. 315 00:17:53,278 --> 00:17:56,611 No, no, no. Would it help if I told you that I offered her my heart... 316 00:17:56,782 --> 00:17:59,080 and she kind of stomped on it? 317 00:17:59,918 --> 00:18:01,909 How hard did she stomp? 318 00:18:02,788 --> 00:18:03,812 Very hard. 319 00:18:05,157 --> 00:18:06,784 Okay, I'm good. 320 00:18:09,428 --> 00:18:13,762 Okay, well, Raj, I just wanna say that I'd never betray your trust. 321 00:18:13,932 --> 00:18:16,264 Unlike Leonard, I respect you. 322 00:18:16,869 --> 00:18:18,632 - Really? - Mm-hm. 323 00:18:19,972 --> 00:18:22,304 Was it out of respect that you didn't tell Raj... 324 00:18:22,474 --> 00:18:25,602 about the time you dropped his iPhone in a urinal? 325 00:18:25,811 --> 00:18:28,780 Dude, I put that thing on my face. 326 00:18:28,947 --> 00:18:31,541 I think a more amusing violation of Raj's trust... 327 00:18:31,717 --> 00:18:33,344 is when Howard convinced him... 328 00:18:33,519 --> 00:18:35,959 that foreigners give presents to Americans on Thanksgiving. 329 00:18:38,357 --> 00:18:42,521 Hey, I didn't see you giving back your Snoopy Sno-Cone maker. 330 00:18:42,694 --> 00:18:45,822 Wait, that was all a lie? This year's gifts are already wrapped. 331 00:18:45,998 --> 00:18:47,363 As long as we're talking... 332 00:18:47,533 --> 00:18:50,730 how about the month Sheldon spent grinding up insects... 333 00:18:50,903 --> 00:18:52,734 and mixing them into Leonard's food? 334 00:18:52,905 --> 00:18:55,738 Well, excuse me. That was not a betrayal. 335 00:18:55,908 --> 00:18:57,375 - Oh. - That was an experiment... 336 00:18:57,543 --> 00:19:02,037 to determine at what concentration food starts tasting mothy. 337 00:19:02,881 --> 00:19:05,042 You put moths in my food? 338 00:19:06,351 --> 00:19:08,478 For science. 339 00:19:09,221 --> 00:19:11,485 I can't believe you kissed my sister with moth mouth. 340 00:19:11,657 --> 00:19:15,718 Well, uh... I can't believe you'd use Sheldon's toothbrush. 341 00:19:15,894 --> 00:19:18,089 You used my toothbrush? 342 00:19:18,263 --> 00:19:21,027 Not the brush part. Just the little rubber thing... 343 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:24,636 to pick food from my teeth and massage my gums. 344 00:19:31,210 --> 00:19:33,178 Okay, I... I think it's safe to say... 345 00:19:33,345 --> 00:19:36,508 that we've all done some things we're not particularly proud of. 346 00:19:38,016 --> 00:19:40,007 But come on, we're friends. 347 00:19:40,185 --> 00:19:42,676 Friends overlook each other's minor lapses. 348 00:19:44,189 --> 00:19:46,851 For the record, Howard, I'm sorry that I broke our pact. 349 00:19:47,793 --> 00:19:49,260 Thank you. 350 00:19:49,428 --> 00:19:53,762 And I'm sorry about your phone and Thanksgiving. 351 00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:58,397 And while we're at it, you don't have to wash our clothes on the 4th of July. 352 00:19:59,738 --> 00:20:04,368 As long as we're apologizing, Sheldon, I'm sorry I used your toothbrush. 353 00:20:04,876 --> 00:20:06,400 And I'm sorry... 354 00:20:06,578 --> 00:20:09,911 but that behavior is beyond the pale and cannot be tolerated. 355 00:20:10,082 --> 00:20:11,982 We are no longer friends. 356 00:20:12,718 --> 00:20:15,983 I got you a talking Thomas the Tank Engine for Thanksgiving. 357 00:20:16,622 --> 00:20:18,988 With real puffing smoke? 358 00:20:19,324 --> 00:20:20,757 Yes. 359 00:20:21,827 --> 00:20:23,294 All right. 360 00:20:24,963 --> 00:20:26,328 But I'm watching you. 361 00:20:39,811 --> 00:20:42,006 You got Snoopy out. Can I have a snow cone? 362 00:20:42,514 --> 00:20:44,141 Well, sure. 363 00:20:47,519 --> 00:20:49,578 This is pretty good. What flavor is this? 364 00:20:49,755 --> 00:20:51,416 Guess. 365 00:20:52,190 --> 00:20:53,589 - Papaya? - No. 366 00:20:53,759 --> 00:20:56,319 - Guava? - You're so close. 367 00:20:56,495 --> 00:20:59,658 - I give up. - Mango caterpillar. 368 00:21:01,867 --> 00:21:04,131 What are you doing? 369 00:21:05,871 --> 00:21:08,066 You said you liked it.