1 00:00:04,389 --> 00:00:07,085 Guess who I found at LAX? My baby sister, Priya. 2 00:00:07,258 --> 00:00:08,885 It's nice to see you again, Leonard. 3 00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:11,051 Yeah, it's good to see you too. 4 00:00:11,229 --> 00:00:13,060 - Here you go. - Thanks. 5 00:00:16,367 --> 00:00:19,131 - You slept with my sister? - Yeah. 6 00:00:19,304 --> 00:00:21,602 - This is a terrible betrayal. - Would it help... 7 00:00:21,773 --> 00:00:26,608 if I told you that I offered her my heart and she kind of stomped on it? 8 00:00:26,778 --> 00:00:29,076 - How hard did she stomp? - Very hard. 9 00:00:30,381 --> 00:00:32,474 Okay, I'm good. 10 00:00:37,789 --> 00:00:40,349 - What's so funny? - Nothing. 11 00:00:40,525 --> 00:00:44,154 Just thinking about the noises people make during sex. 12 00:00:45,530 --> 00:00:48,931 I do sometimes get a bit carried away, don't I? Ha, ha. 13 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:50,494 It's cute. 14 00:00:50,668 --> 00:00:54,001 You sound a little like a drunken monkey. 15 00:00:59,410 --> 00:01:01,640 You know, it's meant as a compliment. Ha, ha. 16 00:01:01,813 --> 00:01:03,508 That's how I take it. 17 00:01:04,916 --> 00:01:07,043 This is perfect. 18 00:01:07,218 --> 00:01:10,949 - I hope this moment never ends. - Me too. 19 00:01:12,924 --> 00:01:14,983 - Well, gotta go. - Oh. 20 00:01:17,862 --> 00:01:21,730 - Already? Why don't you stay over? - Well, I'd love to... 21 00:01:21,933 --> 00:01:25,733 but you know my mother needs me in the morning. 22 00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:31,266 Please, I think the woman can manage to put a wig on by herself. 23 00:01:31,442 --> 00:01:33,876 Look, it's not just the wig. 24 00:01:34,045 --> 00:01:38,004 It's pinning her hair up, drawing on her eyebrows. It's a two-person job. 25 00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:40,877 It's just... 26 00:01:41,052 --> 00:01:45,921 When you leave right after we make love, it makes me feel cheap. 27 00:01:46,090 --> 00:01:50,959 - Oh, honey, I'm sorry. What can I do? - Stay. 28 00:01:51,896 --> 00:01:53,158 Okay. 29 00:01:58,870 --> 00:02:00,861 Like, what, another five, 10 minutes? 30 00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:05,441 - Go home. - Your call, eh? 31 00:02:08,179 --> 00:02:13,549 Howard, have you ever considered us living together? 32 00:02:13,751 --> 00:02:15,742 Boy, I don't know. 33 00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:18,855 You, me, Ma, living under the same roof? Ha, ha. 34 00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:22,624 No. I mean just you and me. 35 00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,889 You can move in here, or we can find a place. 36 00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:27,720 - I've got a solution. - What? 37 00:02:27,899 --> 00:02:30,891 Wait for my mom's heart to explode from all the salt she eats. 38 00:02:31,936 --> 00:02:35,372 Stick her in the ground, flip her mattress and move into the bedroom. 39 00:02:37,075 --> 00:02:38,099 Great. 40 00:02:38,276 --> 00:02:41,609 Look at us. Planning a future together. 41 00:02:47,752 --> 00:02:50,312 Who's there? Are you a sex criminal? 42 00:02:52,624 --> 00:02:56,060 Sex criminals don't have keys, Ma! 43 00:02:56,928 --> 00:03:00,091 - Where were you so late? - I was out with Bernadette! 44 00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:02,129 I know what that means! 45 00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:04,825 I watch Dr. Phil! 46 00:03:05,536 --> 00:03:08,835 I hope to God you used a condom! 47 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,770 I'm not having this conversation with you, Ma! 48 00:03:11,943 --> 00:03:17,108 God forbid you get one of those new fancy sex diseases! 49 00:03:17,548 --> 00:03:20,847 - Nobody has a disease! - I hope not! 50 00:03:21,052 --> 00:03:23,987 I share a toilet with you. 51 00:03:25,757 --> 00:03:30,091 Is that what you want? To give your mother herpes? 52 00:03:30,795 --> 00:03:32,319 I don't have to take this! 53 00:03:33,931 --> 00:03:37,560 Good luck with your eyebrows in the morning! 54 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,871 Who's there? Are you a sex criminal? 55 00:03:47,612 --> 00:03:50,445 I'm still leaving, I just forgot my Claritin! 56 00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:22,005 - Hey, what's up? - I need a place to crash. 57 00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:23,772 Sure. 58 00:04:23,948 --> 00:04:26,746 - Why? - Big fight with my mother. 59 00:04:26,951 --> 00:04:30,944 Hmm. Still arguing over which CSI is the best? 60 00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:35,352 No, we agreed they all have their merits. 61 00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:36,959 This was about Bernadette. 62 00:04:38,262 --> 00:04:40,457 - What's going on? - Howard's gonna sleep here. 63 00:04:40,665 --> 00:04:44,658 - He had a fight with his mother. - Did you offer him a hot beverage? 64 00:04:52,677 --> 00:04:54,474 No. 65 00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:58,208 Leonard, social protocol states when a friend is upset... 66 00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,543 you offer a hot beverage such as tea. 67 00:05:00,885 --> 00:05:03,217 Tea does sound nice. 68 00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:06,489 You heard the man, Leonard. 69 00:05:08,826 --> 00:05:12,284 While you're at it, I'm upset that we have an unannounced house guest... 70 00:05:12,463 --> 00:05:13,725 so make me cocoa. 71 00:05:17,301 --> 00:05:21,169 Point of inquiry, given that Leonard is your secondary friend... 72 00:05:21,339 --> 00:05:23,500 and Koothrappali is your primary friend... 73 00:05:23,708 --> 00:05:25,903 why didn't you seek refuge under his roof? 74 00:05:26,077 --> 00:05:28,568 There's no room. His sister is staying with him. 75 00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,771 Wait, wait. What? 76 00:05:31,215 --> 00:05:34,514 Cocoa, Leonard. Focus. I'm down in the dumps here. 77 00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:39,278 - What? Priya's in town? - Yeah, some work thing. 78 00:05:39,457 --> 00:05:41,584 My mother seems to think that Bernadette... 79 00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:46,196 - Hold on, when did Priya get here? - I don't know, a couple days ago. 80 00:05:46,364 --> 00:05:49,026 Bernadette doesn't like that I take care of my mother... 81 00:05:49,233 --> 00:05:51,201 and my mother doesn't trust Bernadette. 82 00:05:51,369 --> 00:05:54,634 Yeah, that's a real pickle. Bye. 83 00:05:58,476 --> 00:06:04,381 Don't worry, as your tertiary friend, I am prepared to step in and comfort you. 84 00:06:04,982 --> 00:06:08,042 - That's not really necessary. - No. I'll finish making the tea... 85 00:06:08,252 --> 00:06:12,245 while you narcissistically ramble on about whatever's troubling you. 86 00:06:13,491 --> 00:06:17,052 - Thanks. - That's what tertiary friends are for. 87 00:06:21,065 --> 00:06:23,192 - Who is it? - It's Leonard. 88 00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:25,696 You can't come in. 89 00:06:26,370 --> 00:06:29,464 - Well, I just wanna talk to her. - I forbid it. 90 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,904 - Open the door, Rajesh. - You heard me. 91 00:06:32,076 --> 00:06:34,067 I forbidded it. 92 00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:35,911 Forbidded it? 93 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:37,807 Forbaded it? 94 00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:41,311 Get out of the way. 95 00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,919 - What are you doing here? - What are you doing here? 96 00:06:44,088 --> 00:06:46,852 - I have business in Los Angeles. - Why didn't you call? 97 00:06:47,024 --> 00:06:50,425 Clearly she was sending you a message to take a hike, Mike. 98 00:06:51,362 --> 00:06:53,262 I'm sorry. I thought about calling... 99 00:06:53,431 --> 00:06:56,525 but I wasn't sure if seeing you was such a good idea. 100 00:06:56,701 --> 00:06:58,601 I know, last time I came on too strong. 101 00:06:58,803 --> 00:07:00,828 - Can we talk in private? - No. 102 00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:02,063 Sure. 103 00:07:03,207 --> 00:07:06,699 It's inappropriate for a single woman to entertain a man in private. 104 00:07:06,878 --> 00:07:09,244 If you insist on talking, do it on the couch. 105 00:07:11,115 --> 00:07:15,176 All right, you may talk in the bedroom, but I want this door to remain open. 106 00:07:16,420 --> 00:07:18,445 Just this once you may close the door. 107 00:07:18,623 --> 00:07:22,024 But keep in mind I'll be right out here monitoring the situation. 108 00:07:35,940 --> 00:07:38,101 Oh, damn it. 109 00:07:38,276 --> 00:07:41,609 Leonard, when you get this message, call me. 110 00:07:47,084 --> 00:07:49,814 Priya, this your brother. 111 00:07:49,987 --> 00:07:53,718 When you get this, tell Leonard to check his voice-mail. 112 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,390 Would you be sleeping over again this evening? 113 00:07:58,562 --> 00:07:59,927 Because you're welcome to. 114 00:08:00,097 --> 00:08:02,122 Very nice of you, but I made other plans. 115 00:08:02,767 --> 00:08:08,467 Just keep in mind that should you ever need a slightly apathetic tertiary friend... 116 00:08:08,639 --> 00:08:10,436 I stand at the ready. 117 00:08:12,009 --> 00:08:13,943 - Hi, Howard. Hi, Sheldon. - Hello. 118 00:08:14,111 --> 00:08:17,080 Why are you holding hands? I forbid you to hold hands. 119 00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:20,577 Rajesh, you know Leonard and I spent the night together. 120 00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:24,517 Yeah, but you were just sleeping because I forboded you to have sex. 121 00:08:26,023 --> 00:08:27,513 The word is forbade. 122 00:08:27,692 --> 00:08:30,786 You sure? That doesn't sound right. 123 00:08:30,962 --> 00:08:34,420 Listen, Rajesh, Leonard and I decided to see each other again... 124 00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:38,932 and you don't get to tell me who I can or can't have a relationship with. 125 00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:40,297 Actually, he can. 126 00:08:40,471 --> 00:08:44,874 The Hindu Code of Manu is very clear in these matters. 127 00:08:45,042 --> 00:08:47,135 If a woman's father is not around... 128 00:08:47,311 --> 00:08:49,506 the duty of controlling her base desires... 129 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:53,844 falls to the closest male member of her family, in this case, Raj. 130 00:08:54,018 --> 00:08:57,181 The code also states that if she disobeys... 131 00:08:57,355 --> 00:09:03,021 she will be reborn in the womb of a jackal and tormented by diseases. 132 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:10,066 If true, that seems like an awfully large gamble, given that the prize is Leonard. 133 00:09:15,139 --> 00:09:18,006 There it is, Priya. We're Indian. We believe this stuff. 134 00:09:19,844 --> 00:09:21,903 It also says that if you eat beef... 135 00:09:22,079 --> 00:09:25,981 you need to live with cows for three months and drink their urine. 136 00:09:26,317 --> 00:09:27,978 Some makes sense, some is crazy. 137 00:09:28,152 --> 00:09:31,087 My point is you can't go out with Leonard. 138 00:09:31,455 --> 00:09:33,821 - Who can't go out with Leonard? - My sister. 139 00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:36,391 Penny, this is Raj's sister, Priya. 140 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:39,085 - It's very nice to meet you. - Oh, yeah. You too. 141 00:09:39,263 --> 00:09:43,097 Priya, if you're experiencing any tension or awkwardness... 142 00:09:43,267 --> 00:09:46,259 it may stem from the fact that Leonard and Penny used to... 143 00:09:46,470 --> 00:09:49,906 if I may quote Howard, "Do the dance with no pants." 144 00:09:54,745 --> 00:09:57,543 - Sheldon. - Really? 145 00:09:58,215 --> 00:10:00,080 Hey, Bernadette. Can I talk to you? 146 00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:02,048 Sure. 147 00:10:02,553 --> 00:10:05,215 Penny, you became disenchanted with Leonard as a lover. 148 00:10:05,389 --> 00:10:07,755 Would you please tell my sister why. 149 00:10:09,193 --> 00:10:11,627 My mom's going to Palm Springs to visit her sister. 150 00:10:11,796 --> 00:10:14,731 That's two nights in a row I can sleep over with you. 151 00:10:15,132 --> 00:10:16,793 Unless the air dries her sinuses... 152 00:10:17,001 --> 00:10:20,266 in which case I'll have to schlep out there with the humidifier. 153 00:10:21,672 --> 00:10:24,368 That's your big solution to all of our problems? 154 00:10:24,542 --> 00:10:27,636 If your mom's nose holds up, we get two nights together? 155 00:10:28,412 --> 00:10:32,212 - Isn't that great? - No, it's not great. 156 00:10:32,383 --> 00:10:34,613 You need to make a choice. Me or your mother. 157 00:10:35,519 --> 00:10:36,543 Uh... 158 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:40,315 - Wrong answer. - No, wait, you didn't let me finish. 159 00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:43,618 - I'm listening. - Uh... 160 00:10:52,670 --> 00:10:55,104 I came as quickly as I could. 161 00:10:56,874 --> 00:10:59,968 Okay. Why? 162 00:11:00,978 --> 00:11:02,275 To comfort you, of course. 163 00:11:02,613 --> 00:11:05,207 Sheldon told me about Leonard dating Rajesh's sister... 164 00:11:05,382 --> 00:11:09,011 so I hightailed it over here to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. 165 00:11:09,587 --> 00:11:11,282 Okay. Amy, I'm fine. 166 00:11:11,455 --> 00:11:13,286 You don't have to be strong for me. 167 00:11:14,658 --> 00:11:17,889 Now, let's talk about Priya, that man-stealing bitch. 168 00:11:19,663 --> 00:11:20,960 What? 169 00:11:21,132 --> 00:11:24,693 In situations like this, best girlfriends are often catty about the other woman. 170 00:11:27,838 --> 00:11:31,171 No, really, I am not upset about Leonard and Priya. 171 00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:35,506 Oh, then perhaps you don't understand what's going on. 172 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:39,342 Your former boyfriend has replaced you with a very suitable mate. 173 00:11:39,517 --> 00:11:41,678 Arguably much more suitable than you. 174 00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:45,684 Oh, well, good for him. 175 00:11:45,856 --> 00:11:48,120 Hey, what do you mean "more suitable"? 176 00:11:48,726 --> 00:11:52,856 Well, granted, Penny, you're secondary sexual characteristics are bodacious... 177 00:11:54,398 --> 00:11:57,731 but Priya is highly educated, she's an accomplished professional... 178 00:11:57,902 --> 00:12:01,531 she comes from the culture that wrote the book on neat ways to have sex. 179 00:12:02,740 --> 00:12:05,538 You, on the other hand, are a community-college dropout... 180 00:12:05,709 --> 00:12:08,872 who comes from the culture that wrote the book on tipping cows. 181 00:12:09,947 --> 00:12:12,916 Yeah, okay. I got it. I got it. 182 00:12:13,217 --> 00:12:15,117 So, what is all that stuff? 183 00:12:15,286 --> 00:12:17,584 This is a portable electroencephalogram. 184 00:12:17,755 --> 00:12:20,121 I'm doing research on emotions and brain activity. 185 00:12:20,291 --> 00:12:24,250 When you start crying, I can see which region of the brain is activated. 186 00:12:24,929 --> 00:12:29,525 Then I'll stimulate the analogous area in a rhesus monkey and see if he cries. 187 00:12:31,101 --> 00:12:32,728 Cool, huh? 188 00:12:47,785 --> 00:12:49,719 I choose you. 189 00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:51,445 - Really? - Yep. 190 00:12:51,622 --> 00:12:55,991 I moved out of my mother's house. The cord is cut. I'm all yours. 191 00:12:57,094 --> 00:12:58,959 What did she say when you told her? 192 00:12:59,129 --> 00:13:01,825 I don't know, she hasn't responded to my email yet. Ha, ha. 193 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,098 - This is so great. - Ha, ha. 194 00:13:05,269 --> 00:13:07,999 - I love you, Howard. - I love you too. 195 00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:10,799 - So, what's for dinner? - Um... 196 00:13:10,975 --> 00:13:13,136 I don't have much of anything in the house. 197 00:13:14,011 --> 00:13:17,139 That's fine. Why don't we go fool around in our bedroom? 198 00:13:18,916 --> 00:13:20,315 And then you can go shopping. 199 00:13:23,487 --> 00:13:26,320 I thought maybe after we eat we could see an early movie. 200 00:13:26,490 --> 00:13:27,514 I'd love that. 201 00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:31,322 I love the way you say, "I'd love that." 202 00:13:31,996 --> 00:13:33,793 She says it the same way I do. 203 00:13:36,367 --> 00:13:40,804 I'd love that. Everybody in India says it that way. It's not a big deal. 204 00:13:42,439 --> 00:13:45,135 - Rajesh, don't be a child. - I'm not being a child. 205 00:13:45,609 --> 00:13:49,306 Leonard, if your sister ever comes to town, I shall have my way with her. 206 00:13:51,649 --> 00:13:53,742 My sister's 38 and married. 207 00:13:54,018 --> 00:13:57,146 All the more shame that will fall upon the house of Hofstadter! 208 00:14:00,658 --> 00:14:03,456 - Ooh! I thought I smelled pizza. - That's remarkable. 209 00:14:03,627 --> 00:14:05,720 If pepperoni were an explosive substance... 210 00:14:05,896 --> 00:14:09,297 you could replace German Shepherds at our nation's airports. 211 00:14:10,534 --> 00:14:13,059 - Hi. Penny, right? - Oh, yes, hi. 212 00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:15,966 Sorry, didn't know you had company. I don't wanna impose. 213 00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:17,869 It's not an imposition. 214 00:14:18,042 --> 00:14:21,011 At this point in our ecosystem, you are akin to the plover... 215 00:14:21,178 --> 00:14:22,839 a small scavenging bird... 216 00:14:23,013 --> 00:14:25,982 that eats extra food from between the teeth of crocodiles. 217 00:14:28,152 --> 00:14:30,985 Please, fly into our open maw and have at it. 218 00:14:33,557 --> 00:14:37,015 If I had more than a box of baking soda I wouldn't have to take that. 219 00:14:39,930 --> 00:14:41,830 Hi, bestie. 220 00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:45,365 Hi. 221 00:14:46,837 --> 00:14:51,171 - So, um, Priya, you're a lawyer, right? - I know, pretty boring, huh? 222 00:14:51,342 --> 00:14:54,778 Oh, come on, it's not boring at all. 223 00:14:54,945 --> 00:14:58,176 Uh, she's currently helping set up a secondary derivative market... 224 00:14:58,349 --> 00:15:01,876 which would allow overseas car firms to hedge their investments... 225 00:15:02,052 --> 00:15:06,045 against potential advancements in battery technology. 226 00:15:06,557 --> 00:15:09,822 Thank you, Leonard. That doesn't make it sound boring at all. 227 00:15:12,096 --> 00:15:14,064 - I'm sorry, but... - How you holding up? 228 00:15:15,866 --> 00:15:17,424 I'm fine. 229 00:15:17,601 --> 00:15:20,069 Who are you kidding? She's breathtaking. 230 00:15:22,373 --> 00:15:24,898 So, Penny, Leonard tells me you're an actress. 231 00:15:25,075 --> 00:15:28,442 - That must be pretty exciting. - Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's real great. 232 00:15:28,612 --> 00:15:32,378 Today I drove to an audition I thought was gonna be for a cat food commercial. 233 00:15:32,549 --> 00:15:33,948 Turned out to be porn. 234 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,849 Did you get the part? 235 00:15:40,257 --> 00:15:41,724 I didn't do the audition. 236 00:15:42,126 --> 00:15:45,289 Given the state of your career, can you really afford to be picky? 237 00:15:48,132 --> 00:15:51,431 I took acting classes when I was at Cambridge. I loved it. 238 00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:55,299 - We did Taming of the Shrew. - Oh, wow, I love Taming of the Shrew. 239 00:15:55,472 --> 00:15:57,133 I did a paper on it in high school. 240 00:15:57,775 --> 00:16:00,505 Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting? 241 00:16:00,677 --> 00:16:02,941 - In his tail. - In his tongue. 242 00:16:03,113 --> 00:16:05,274 - Whose tongue? - Yours, if you talk of tails... 243 00:16:05,449 --> 00:16:06,916 and so farewell. 244 00:16:07,084 --> 00:16:08,915 What, with my tongue in your tail? 245 00:16:16,460 --> 00:16:20,453 I'm regretting my earlier cattiness. She is an absolute delight. 246 00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:27,066 Wow. 247 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:34,843 Wow indeed. 248 00:16:35,846 --> 00:16:39,282 - I can't believe we're living together. - Yeah. 249 00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:41,315 You know what would make this perfect? 250 00:16:41,485 --> 00:16:43,146 - What? - A little snack. 251 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,481 You got any string cheese? 252 00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:48,949 No. I might have some cheddar. 253 00:16:49,827 --> 00:16:52,660 Not as good. You can't make strings with it. 254 00:16:53,831 --> 00:16:56,664 Remind me to put it on your shopping list. 255 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,024 Okay. 256 00:16:58,202 --> 00:17:00,898 - Do you have hypo-allergenic detergent? - No. 257 00:17:01,071 --> 00:17:02,333 Better put it on the list. 258 00:17:02,506 --> 00:17:05,964 If you wash my underwear with regular soap, I get little bumps on my tuchus. 259 00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:13,211 Wait a second, I'm doing your laundry? 260 00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:16,812 Well, honey, it's not gonna do itself. Heh, heh. 261 00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:20,355 Oh, tomorrow morning you're driving me to the dentist. 262 00:17:20,891 --> 00:17:22,358 I have to take you? 263 00:17:22,893 --> 00:17:25,453 You don't have to take me. You get to take me. 264 00:17:27,030 --> 00:17:31,057 Wait a minute, are you telling me your mother usually takes you to the dentist? 265 00:17:31,235 --> 00:17:35,365 Well, it's not weird. There's lots of kids there with their moms. 266 00:17:37,174 --> 00:17:38,573 I can't believe this. 267 00:17:38,742 --> 00:17:40,334 What? It's fun. 268 00:17:40,511 --> 00:17:44,572 If I have no cavities, afterwards we go out for a treat. 269 00:17:45,582 --> 00:17:48,016 Howard, let's get something straight right now. 270 00:17:48,185 --> 00:17:49,880 I am not going to be your mother. 271 00:17:50,087 --> 00:17:53,181 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where did that come from? 272 00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:05,224 Who's there? Is it a sex criminal? 273 00:18:06,436 --> 00:18:09,769 Nobody wants to do that to you, Ma! 274 00:18:10,607 --> 00:18:13,269 - Where were you? - Didn't you read my email? 275 00:18:13,443 --> 00:18:17,641 You know I can't turn on that farkakt computer! 276 00:18:18,148 --> 00:18:21,208 I left you some brisket on the kitchen counter. 277 00:18:21,385 --> 00:18:22,409 Thank you! 278 00:18:22,586 --> 00:18:27,080 Remember to floss after, we have the dentist in the morning! 279 00:18:31,395 --> 00:18:33,795 - Oh, hey. What's up? - I wanted to check in on you. 280 00:18:34,231 --> 00:18:36,495 - Why? - Seems like the appropriate thing to do... 281 00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:40,501 when one's best friend finds herself replaced by a smart, beautiful woman... 282 00:18:40,671 --> 00:18:43,902 with the smoldering sexuality of a crouched Bengal tiger. 283 00:18:45,409 --> 00:18:47,240 I already told you, I'm okay with it. 284 00:18:47,411 --> 00:18:52,212 I mean, if anything, I'm quite pleased that Leonard has found someone... 285 00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:55,078 that makes him so happy. 286 00:18:55,252 --> 00:18:58,813 - Oh, it's okay, it's okay. - Thank you. 287 00:18:59,256 --> 00:19:01,019 Let's get these electrodes attached... 288 00:19:01,191 --> 00:19:03,682 and see what's going on in that noggin of yours. 289 00:19:03,860 --> 00:19:06,260 Okay. 290 00:19:13,437 --> 00:19:15,428 I smell Chinese food. 291 00:19:16,106 --> 00:19:19,769 It's actually Thai. You're slipping. 292 00:19:20,844 --> 00:19:24,302 - Are Leonard and Priya here? - They went to Catalina for the weekend. 293 00:19:24,481 --> 00:19:28,542 - Oh, where's Raj? - At home, forbidding it. 294 00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:29,946 How about Howard? 295 00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:34,318 I'm given to understand his mother grounded him for running away. 296 00:19:34,891 --> 00:19:37,860 Oh, okay. 297 00:19:38,328 --> 00:19:41,695 Well, I guess it's just the two of us, huh? 298 00:19:41,865 --> 00:19:43,492 Actually, it's the three of us. 299 00:19:43,667 --> 00:19:45,692 What up, bestie? 300 00:19:48,338 --> 00:19:51,535 Good news. Thanks to you, I was able to make a rhesus monkey cry... 301 00:19:51,708 --> 00:19:53,573 like a disgraced televangelist. 302 00:19:55,545 --> 00:19:56,569 Great. 303 00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:59,010 - So you feeling better? - Not really. 304 00:19:59,716 --> 00:20:03,709 - Sheldon, you have a guest who's upset. - Right. I'll make tea. 305 00:20:03,887 --> 00:20:07,050 - It's okay, I don't want tea. - I'm sorry, it's not optional.