1 00:00:03,981 --> 00:00:06,245 Hey, do me a favor and take Table 7? 2 00:00:07,218 --> 00:00:10,676 You mean, the one with my 118-pound rock-hard stud of a fiancé... 3 00:00:10,855 --> 00:00:14,154 who's prone to canker sores and pinkeye? 4 00:00:14,325 --> 00:00:17,089 I prefer to look at it as the one with my ex-boyfriend... 5 00:00:17,261 --> 00:00:22,289 and his gorgeous, successful girlfriend who makes me feel like a toothless Okie. 6 00:00:24,135 --> 00:00:26,126 Do you want me to spill hot soup on her? 7 00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:29,370 Please, you're not that kind of person. 8 00:00:29,540 --> 00:00:30,598 I know. 9 00:00:30,775 --> 00:00:35,474 But if she orders something low-fat, I'll totally give her the full-fat version. 10 00:00:37,748 --> 00:00:38,976 That's my water. 11 00:00:39,383 --> 00:00:41,351 - What? - My water, you're drinking it. 12 00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:43,987 Dear Lord. 13 00:00:44,789 --> 00:00:47,656 - Have you been drinking it? - Yes, it's my water. 14 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:51,526 Well, that's it then. I'm dead. 15 00:00:52,163 --> 00:00:53,790 Here we go. 16 00:00:53,964 --> 00:00:56,296 I'm sorry, do I need to connect the dots for you? 17 00:00:56,467 --> 00:00:57,957 The backwash into this glass... 18 00:00:58,135 --> 00:01:01,036 is every pathogen that calls your mouth "home sweet home." 19 00:01:01,205 --> 00:01:03,833 Not to mention the visitors who arrive on the tongue... 20 00:01:04,008 --> 00:01:05,839 of your subtropical girlfriend. 21 00:01:07,178 --> 00:01:10,341 Hey, that's my sister and my country you're talking about. 22 00:01:10,514 --> 00:01:12,004 Leonard may have defiled one... 23 00:01:12,183 --> 00:01:15,277 but I won't have you talking smack about the other. 24 00:01:15,486 --> 00:01:17,078 - You guys ready to order? - Yes. 25 00:01:17,288 --> 00:01:19,347 I'd like a seven-day course of penicillin... 26 00:01:19,523 --> 00:01:23,687 some syrup of ipecac to induce vomiting and a mint. 27 00:01:24,595 --> 00:01:27,359 - I don't understand. - He drank from Leonard's glass. 28 00:01:27,531 --> 00:01:29,055 "He drank from Leonard's glass." 29 00:01:29,233 --> 00:01:31,827 The words they'll be carving into my tombstone. 30 00:01:32,403 --> 00:01:35,201 - That's actually my napkin. - Oh, this is a nightmare. 31 00:01:36,106 --> 00:01:37,164 Where are you going? 32 00:01:37,341 --> 00:01:39,707 To the bar to sterilize my mouth with alcohol. 33 00:01:40,511 --> 00:01:42,877 Gangway, dead man walking. 34 00:02:09,473 --> 00:02:12,499 All right, here we go. Two lemonades... 35 00:02:12,676 --> 00:02:14,337 one iced tea... 36 00:02:14,512 --> 00:02:16,742 and a root beer for Priya. 37 00:02:16,914 --> 00:02:20,441 - Is it diet? - That's what you ordered. 38 00:02:22,686 --> 00:02:26,178 Thank you. Hey, have you and Howard started planning your wedding yet? 39 00:02:26,390 --> 00:02:30,121 Yeah. We're thinking of having it on a cliff overlooking the ocean. 40 00:02:30,294 --> 00:02:32,353 Nothing soothes those pre-wedding jitters... 41 00:02:32,530 --> 00:02:35,192 like the thought of falling and drowning. 42 00:02:36,133 --> 00:02:38,658 What'd your mother say when you told her? 43 00:02:38,836 --> 00:02:41,498 He hasn't told her yet. He's waiting for the right time. 44 00:02:41,672 --> 00:02:45,130 I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy. 45 00:02:45,543 --> 00:02:48,103 Howard, you've got to tell your mother. 46 00:02:48,279 --> 00:02:52,010 Have you told your parents you're dating this short glass of skimmed milk yet? 47 00:02:54,218 --> 00:02:57,051 That's different. First of all, we're not engaged... 48 00:02:57,221 --> 00:03:00,952 and second, Indian parents are very protective of their children. 49 00:03:01,125 --> 00:03:06,290 Right. Whereas Jewish mothers take a casual la-di-da approach to their sons. 50 00:03:09,033 --> 00:03:12,196 I gargled with tequila and may have swallowed a teeny bit. 51 00:03:12,369 --> 00:03:15,065 - You all right? - Fine. Thank you for asking. 52 00:03:15,239 --> 00:03:16,706 I love you so much. 53 00:03:20,844 --> 00:03:21,936 Fire demon. 54 00:03:23,747 --> 00:03:27,239 Fire demon. Sheldon's turning up the heat. 55 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:30,548 Troll master. 56 00:03:30,721 --> 00:03:34,213 Check it, Howard pulls one out from under the bridge. Nice. 57 00:03:36,193 --> 00:03:37,251 Water nymph. 58 00:03:37,461 --> 00:03:40,521 Oh, yeah, she's got puddles in all the right places. 59 00:03:41,665 --> 00:03:44,930 Could you please play the game without commenting on every card? 60 00:03:45,102 --> 00:03:46,729 Sorry. 61 00:03:46,904 --> 00:03:49,202 Walking tree. 62 00:03:53,410 --> 00:03:56,607 - Last one. - I'm taking a stroll and sporting wood. 63 00:04:02,119 --> 00:04:05,179 - Okay, the eagle has landed. - What's going on? 64 00:04:05,356 --> 00:04:09,258 Bernadette and my mother are having a get-to-know-you lunch at the deli. 65 00:04:09,426 --> 00:04:10,586 That sounds lovely. 66 00:04:10,761 --> 00:04:13,059 Hope so. Course, if history is any indication... 67 00:04:13,230 --> 00:04:16,757 my mother will swallow her whole and spit out her bones like an owl. 68 00:04:18,435 --> 00:04:21,802 - Have you met Bernadette's parents? - You mean Adolf and Eva? 69 00:04:23,941 --> 00:04:27,604 Not yet. One goose step at a time. 70 00:04:28,078 --> 00:04:29,443 Sheldon, that's my water. 71 00:04:29,613 --> 00:04:32,138 Oh, dear Lord. 72 00:04:34,952 --> 00:04:36,146 That's not your water. 73 00:04:37,421 --> 00:04:39,013 I know. 74 00:04:41,058 --> 00:04:43,618 Where's the mouthwash? 75 00:04:43,927 --> 00:04:45,952 Where indeed. 76 00:04:48,732 --> 00:04:51,428 Ma, I'm home! 77 00:04:51,835 --> 00:04:56,169 - Where are you? - I'm in the toilet! 78 00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:58,298 So how'd it go? 79 00:04:58,475 --> 00:05:01,842 Too soon to say, I'm not done yet! 80 00:05:03,947 --> 00:05:06,575 No, I mean lunch today with Bernadette. 81 00:05:06,750 --> 00:05:07,808 Oh! 82 00:05:07,985 --> 00:05:12,115 I had a pastrami sandwich. She had eggplant lasagna. 83 00:05:12,289 --> 00:05:15,452 Like that's what a person orders in a Jewish deli. 84 00:05:17,261 --> 00:05:19,161 Besides food, did you get along? 85 00:05:19,329 --> 00:05:21,126 - Did you talk? - Oh, sure. 86 00:05:21,665 --> 00:05:26,125 Did you know she's going to school to become a microbiologist? 87 00:05:27,271 --> 00:05:30,570 No, she never mentioned it. 88 00:05:31,075 --> 00:05:34,772 I bet she did and you didn't listen. 89 00:05:36,146 --> 00:05:38,205 Yeah, that's probably it. What do you think? 90 00:05:38,382 --> 00:05:40,441 Do you like her? I mean, she's great, huh? 91 00:05:40,617 --> 00:05:43,677 She's a lovely girl. Cute as a button. 92 00:05:43,854 --> 00:05:47,722 That's good to hear because I've got some news. 93 00:05:47,891 --> 00:05:49,483 I hope it's good news... 94 00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:52,595 because I've got nothing but disappointment in here. 95 00:06:01,371 --> 00:06:05,102 Bernadette and I are getting married. 96 00:06:09,146 --> 00:06:10,977 Ma? 97 00:06:11,615 --> 00:06:14,880 You too busy bearing down? 98 00:06:16,253 --> 00:06:18,050 Ma? 99 00:06:20,424 --> 00:06:24,986 Oh, my God. Ma? Ma? Stand back, I'm gonna break the door down. 100 00:06:32,236 --> 00:06:35,205 Son of a bitch. Ma, help. 101 00:06:38,375 --> 00:06:40,366 - Hey. - Hello. 102 00:06:40,844 --> 00:06:43,005 I haven't seen you in a while. How's it going? 103 00:06:43,714 --> 00:06:46,342 Other than waiting out the exponential growth period... 104 00:06:46,517 --> 00:06:49,850 of the virulent organisms trooping through my microvilli... 105 00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:54,218 into my circulatory system, hunky-dory. 106 00:06:59,363 --> 00:07:00,796 Did I say something amusing? 107 00:07:01,565 --> 00:07:04,466 I don't know, maybe. I have no idea what you said. 108 00:07:04,968 --> 00:07:07,801 So your mirth is merely a discharge of nervous energy... 109 00:07:07,971 --> 00:07:10,303 with no semantic content at all? 110 00:07:10,874 --> 00:07:13,308 My "mirth." Classic. 111 00:07:14,444 --> 00:07:15,934 Is there a station coming up... 112 00:07:16,113 --> 00:07:19,310 where I can board your giggling train of thought? 113 00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:23,978 It's not a big deal. It's just ever since Leonard's been dating Raj's sister... 114 00:07:24,188 --> 00:07:28,625 I've had to keep my distance. I don't get to hear all your jibber jabber. 115 00:07:28,792 --> 00:07:31,727 Jibber jabber? I don't jibber jabber. 116 00:07:32,162 --> 00:07:33,686 What are you doing at work these days? 117 00:07:33,864 --> 00:07:37,630 Oh. I'm working on time-dependent backgrounds in string theory. 118 00:07:37,801 --> 00:07:41,897 Specifically, quantum field theory in D-dimensional de Sitter space. 119 00:07:43,473 --> 00:07:46,237 Come on, even you have to admit that's jibber jabber. 120 00:07:48,245 --> 00:07:52,079 Interesting. Do you know where the phrase "jibber jabber" comes from? 121 00:07:52,482 --> 00:07:56,282 Oh, my God. You're about to jibber jabber about jibber jabber. 122 00:08:00,090 --> 00:08:02,422 Howard and his mother are at the hospital. 123 00:08:02,593 --> 00:08:05,858 - Oh, my God, what happened? - I don't know, I just got a text. Hurry. 124 00:08:09,766 --> 00:08:11,427 Sheldon, let's go. 125 00:08:11,969 --> 00:08:14,870 To a hospital? Full of sick people? 126 00:08:16,506 --> 00:08:18,371 Oh, I don't think so. 127 00:08:18,842 --> 00:08:21,310 Your friend and his mother are there, we're going. 128 00:08:22,112 --> 00:08:23,170 I can't. 129 00:08:23,747 --> 00:08:25,510 Don't tell me you're afraid of germs. 130 00:08:25,682 --> 00:08:28,480 Not all germs. 131 00:08:28,685 --> 00:08:30,243 Just the ones that will kill me. 132 00:08:31,455 --> 00:08:33,719 The same way I'm not afraid of all steak knives. 133 00:08:33,891 --> 00:08:36,758 Just the ones that might be plunged in my thorax. 134 00:08:37,828 --> 00:08:41,821 I'll tell Howard you're more concerned about your own well-being than his. 135 00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:44,399 I would think he would know that. 136 00:08:46,203 --> 00:08:48,068 You know what? You are unbelievable. 137 00:08:48,272 --> 00:08:51,969 You buy all these superhero T-shirts but when it's time for you to step up... 138 00:08:52,142 --> 00:08:55,373 and do the right thing, you just hide in the laundry room. 139 00:08:55,846 --> 00:08:57,074 Fine, I'll go. 140 00:08:58,315 --> 00:09:02,012 Just for the record, my Aunt Ruth died in a hospital. 141 00:09:02,185 --> 00:09:05,313 She went in to visit my uncle Roger, caught something... 142 00:09:05,489 --> 00:09:07,719 and bit the dust a week later. 143 00:09:07,891 --> 00:09:11,224 The two of them now share a coffee can on my mother's mantel. 144 00:09:16,366 --> 00:09:19,767 So I knocked down the bathroom door, picked up my unconscious mother... 145 00:09:19,937 --> 00:09:23,600 carried her to the car and drove like a madman to the emergency room. 146 00:09:23,807 --> 00:09:27,766 - You're a real hero, Howard. - No, I did what any son would do. 147 00:09:28,245 --> 00:09:31,214 Hang on a second, you picked up your mother? 148 00:09:33,083 --> 00:09:35,950 Her own legs are barely able to do that. 149 00:09:37,454 --> 00:09:39,388 I was filled with adrenaline. 150 00:09:39,556 --> 00:09:42,218 It happens to be how women lift cars off babies. 151 00:09:42,392 --> 00:09:44,883 Yeah, I'm saying it'd be easier to lift a car. 152 00:09:46,396 --> 00:09:48,728 What can I tell you, after I found the courage... 153 00:09:48,899 --> 00:09:51,834 to put her pants back on, I was unstoppable. 154 00:09:53,704 --> 00:09:56,798 - So how is she? - They're running tests, I don't know. 155 00:09:56,974 --> 00:10:00,637 It may have been a heart attack or heart-attack-like event. 156 00:10:00,811 --> 00:10:03,336 - What's the difference? - A heart-attack-like event... 157 00:10:03,513 --> 00:10:06,414 is an event that's like a heart attack. 158 00:10:07,417 --> 00:10:09,442 Thanks for clearing that up. 159 00:10:09,619 --> 00:10:12,179 Regardless, coronary problems are eminently treatable. 160 00:10:12,356 --> 00:10:14,517 What's more likely to kill Howard's mother... 161 00:10:14,725 --> 00:10:16,784 are the antibiotic-resistant superbugs... 162 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:20,521 festering in every nook and cranny of this hospital. 163 00:10:20,764 --> 00:10:21,992 Okay, you're not helping. 164 00:10:22,766 --> 00:10:24,324 Disagree. 165 00:10:25,335 --> 00:10:27,963 Go sit over there. 166 00:10:28,372 --> 00:10:31,170 I'll sit over there. It looks cleaner. 167 00:10:33,643 --> 00:10:35,668 Is there heart disease in your family? 168 00:10:35,846 --> 00:10:39,543 My family is the history of heart disease. 169 00:10:39,750 --> 00:10:44,244 There's a cave painting in France of one of my ancestors doing this: 170 00:10:47,324 --> 00:10:50,350 - So it's probably genetic. - Well, maybe. 171 00:10:50,527 --> 00:10:54,293 Mom also had just gotten some news that might have upset her. 172 00:10:54,464 --> 00:10:56,864 - What? - It's not important. 173 00:10:57,034 --> 00:11:00,470 Howard, I'm gonna be your wife, you can share anything with me. 174 00:11:00,971 --> 00:11:03,337 You'd think that, but no. 175 00:11:07,711 --> 00:11:11,203 You told her we were gonna get married and she had a heart attack? 176 00:11:11,381 --> 00:11:14,509 You can't take that personally. 177 00:11:15,185 --> 00:11:18,154 How else is she supposed to take it? 178 00:11:18,355 --> 00:11:22,086 What you've gotta keep in mind is that ever since my dad left... 179 00:11:22,292 --> 00:11:24,590 I've been the whole world to my mother. 180 00:11:24,795 --> 00:11:29,755 I mean, she'd be threatened by any woman who can give me what she can't. 181 00:11:29,933 --> 00:11:32,401 You mean, sexual intercourse? 182 00:11:35,238 --> 00:11:38,696 Well, when you say it like that, you make it sound creepy. 183 00:11:38,909 --> 00:11:41,571 - What happened? - Howard's mother had a heart attack... 184 00:11:41,745 --> 00:11:45,545 because I have sex with him and she can't. 185 00:11:48,518 --> 00:11:51,112 Bernie, wait. 186 00:11:51,955 --> 00:11:55,447 I'll give you $1000 if you'll drive me home. 187 00:11:57,761 --> 00:11:59,456 Nice of you to come for Howard. 188 00:11:59,629 --> 00:12:02,223 Well, he's my friend. It's what you do. 189 00:12:05,202 --> 00:12:06,829 I'm sorry, did I miss something? 190 00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:10,696 It's just so weird. Howard Wolowitz is my friend. 191 00:12:10,874 --> 00:12:14,605 You know he tried to stick his tongue down my throat and I broke his nose? 192 00:12:15,445 --> 00:12:18,380 That's a little easier to believe than he's your friend. 193 00:12:18,548 --> 00:12:20,379 Yeah, tell me about it. 194 00:12:20,550 --> 00:12:23,041 My brother had a group of friends like this in India. 195 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,085 They dressed up in leotards and goggles. 196 00:12:25,255 --> 00:12:27,621 And called themselves the New Delhi Power Rangers. 197 00:12:29,459 --> 00:12:30,926 You mean, when he was little. 198 00:12:31,094 --> 00:12:33,494 Not as little as you'd want him to be. 199 00:12:36,266 --> 00:12:39,463 This stuff is horrible. Wanna see if we can find real coffee? 200 00:12:39,636 --> 00:12:42,434 Sure. We're going to the cafeteria to get some coffee. 201 00:12:42,606 --> 00:12:44,631 - You want anything? - I'm fine. 202 00:12:45,575 --> 00:12:47,566 That's nice that they're getting along. 203 00:12:47,744 --> 00:12:50,440 Your girlfriend and ex-girlfriend hanging out together? 204 00:12:50,614 --> 00:12:53,583 Oh, yeah, that can only be good for you. 205 00:12:56,887 --> 00:12:59,481 - What are you talking about? - One broke up with you. 206 00:12:59,656 --> 00:13:02,090 Do you really want her telling the other one why? 207 00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:06,093 I don't care. I don't have anything to hide. 208 00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:09,255 Good, good. Then you have nothing to worry about. 209 00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:13,500 No, I do not. 210 00:13:15,972 --> 00:13:17,963 You are a mean little man. 211 00:13:19,776 --> 00:13:22,438 You'd think it'd be because my parents didn't love me... 212 00:13:22,612 --> 00:13:24,671 but actually, they loved me a great deal. 213 00:13:25,615 --> 00:13:27,640 Bernie, it's not you. 214 00:13:27,817 --> 00:13:30,445 - She's just set in her ways. - How can we be together... 215 00:13:30,620 --> 00:13:33,646 if the thought of us getting married might kill your mother? 216 00:13:34,424 --> 00:13:37,416 It's the circle of life, sweetie. 217 00:13:38,962 --> 00:13:43,194 One day our son will marry someone and it will kill you. 218 00:13:45,502 --> 00:13:48,835 Howard, I have to go to the bathroom and no one will take me home. 219 00:13:49,005 --> 00:13:52,736 - What's wrong with the bathroom here? - Pneumococcus, streptococcus... 220 00:13:52,943 --> 00:13:56,344 staphylococcus and other assorted coccuses. 221 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,814 Sheldon, my mother is on her deathbed... 222 00:13:58,982 --> 00:14:01,815 and my fiancée is grief-stricken over putting her there. 223 00:14:01,985 --> 00:14:04,545 I'm not taking you home. 224 00:14:04,721 --> 00:14:08,054 At least go with me so you can open the door and flush the urinal. 225 00:14:08,225 --> 00:14:10,056 No. 226 00:14:10,227 --> 00:14:12,195 This might be a good time to point out... 227 00:14:12,362 --> 00:14:15,263 that friendship requires a certain give and take. 228 00:14:16,399 --> 00:14:18,492 Hold the door. 229 00:14:24,507 --> 00:14:25,997 Mr. Wolowitz? 230 00:14:26,176 --> 00:14:28,235 - Is she okay? - It wasn't a heart attack. 231 00:14:28,411 --> 00:14:31,778 She's awake, she's resting comfortably and we're still running tests. 232 00:14:31,982 --> 00:14:33,745 - Can I see her? - Actually, she said... 233 00:14:33,917 --> 00:14:37,216 and I quote, she'd like to see "the little Catholic girl first." 234 00:14:40,423 --> 00:14:42,084 Me? Why me? 235 00:14:42,259 --> 00:14:46,252 Jews have been asking that for centuries. There's no real good answer. 236 00:14:48,598 --> 00:14:50,759 Okay, well, wish me luck. 237 00:14:50,934 --> 00:14:53,926 Don't worry, you'll be fine. Let's just hide Mr. Cross. 238 00:14:55,071 --> 00:14:58,097 If it touches her, it burns, so... 239 00:15:01,077 --> 00:15:03,136 Brought a Catholic girl home to your mother? 240 00:15:03,313 --> 00:15:04,371 Yeah. 241 00:15:04,547 --> 00:15:07,573 Why don't I write you a prescription for Xanax? 242 00:15:11,788 --> 00:15:14,256 Finally. 243 00:15:27,804 --> 00:15:29,795 Oh, what fresh hell is this? 244 00:15:29,973 --> 00:15:32,305 Wait, you can't leave here, you've been exposed. 245 00:15:35,812 --> 00:15:37,780 No, I haven't. 246 00:15:38,782 --> 00:15:40,807 It's all good. 247 00:15:42,619 --> 00:15:44,109 Wanna talk about crazy mothers? 248 00:15:44,287 --> 00:15:46,949 Leonard's mom wouldn't give him any approval growing up. 249 00:15:47,123 --> 00:15:48,317 Oh, the poor thing. 250 00:15:48,491 --> 00:15:50,425 It makes him desperate to please women. 251 00:15:50,593 --> 00:15:53,289 That's why the foreplay goes on and on. 252 00:15:53,596 --> 00:15:54,858 It does, doesn't it? 253 00:15:55,065 --> 00:15:57,625 It's like he's trying to win a prize. 254 00:15:57,801 --> 00:16:01,430 A word of advice, don't doze off. You will never hear the end of it. 255 00:16:01,604 --> 00:16:05,370 Help me! Come back! 256 00:16:05,575 --> 00:16:06,701 Penny! 257 00:16:08,845 --> 00:16:12,838 There are a couple of things I did with Penny that might be a little silly, but... 258 00:16:13,016 --> 00:16:14,881 Like what? 259 00:16:15,118 --> 00:16:17,348 Every once in a while, before we'd go to bed... 260 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,182 I'd put on a little show for her. 261 00:16:22,625 --> 00:16:24,183 What do you mean "a show"? 262 00:16:24,661 --> 00:16:29,155 Well, you know, like the way I took my clothes off. 263 00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:31,597 Like to music? 264 00:16:32,836 --> 00:16:36,397 I'd look pretty stupid if there was no music. 265 00:16:37,374 --> 00:16:38,841 So you'd do a striptease. 266 00:16:39,509 --> 00:16:42,535 Well, I wasn't swinging around a pole. 267 00:16:43,613 --> 00:16:45,740 Good, good. 268 00:16:46,916 --> 00:16:50,352 There was one time I put body glitter on. 269 00:16:51,554 --> 00:16:54,546 I don't think you have to worry about Penny telling my sister. 270 00:16:54,724 --> 00:16:58,558 - No, she wouldn't. - Your big problem is me telling her. 271 00:17:01,030 --> 00:17:03,055 You really are a mean little man. 272 00:17:04,567 --> 00:17:07,058 Oh, God, that is so true. 273 00:17:07,237 --> 00:17:08,431 Yeah. I know, eh? 274 00:17:08,638 --> 00:17:10,833 Hey, what took you guys so long? 275 00:17:11,007 --> 00:17:12,269 Oh, we were just chatting. 276 00:17:12,442 --> 00:17:13,909 That's nice. What about? 277 00:17:14,277 --> 00:17:17,405 We were just comparing notes about how you are in the sack. 278 00:17:20,817 --> 00:17:23,285 - That's funny. - Yeah. 279 00:17:24,387 --> 00:17:25,752 What if she wasn't kidding? 280 00:17:26,256 --> 00:17:30,158 Doesn't matter. I'm the king of foreplay. 281 00:17:33,196 --> 00:17:34,754 Hey, how'd it go? 282 00:17:34,931 --> 00:17:36,865 You're a putz. 283 00:17:37,033 --> 00:17:41,436 - You know what that means? - Yeah. Do you? 284 00:17:41,771 --> 00:17:43,398 Your mother just taught it to me. 285 00:17:43,573 --> 00:17:46,041 She thinks she got food poisoning from that deli... 286 00:17:46,209 --> 00:17:48,370 and she wanted to make sure I was okay. 287 00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:50,035 And are you? 288 00:17:50,213 --> 00:17:53,273 No, because I'm engaged to a putz. 289 00:17:55,485 --> 00:17:58,613 You let me believe I was the reason she had a heart attack. 290 00:17:58,788 --> 00:18:01,916 - Well, based on the available evidence... - Shut up! 291 00:18:02,125 --> 00:18:04,923 She said I'm a wonderful girl and you're lucky to have me. 292 00:18:05,295 --> 00:18:06,387 Where are you going? 293 00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:08,963 To the toilet! Is that okay with you? 294 00:18:15,071 --> 00:18:18,802 Is it just me, or does she sound sexy when she's angry? 295 00:18:28,284 --> 00:18:29,615 Mountain elf. 296 00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:36,356 He takes the elf from off the shelf. 297 00:18:39,028 --> 00:18:40,154 Hell hounds. 298 00:18:40,330 --> 00:18:41,354 Hell hounds. 299 00:18:41,531 --> 00:18:45,524 Who let the satanic dogs out? Who? Who? Who? 300 00:18:47,537 --> 00:18:48,834 Colossal serpent. 301 00:18:49,005 --> 00:18:51,974 I got a colossal serpent right here. 302 00:18:54,477 --> 00:18:55,637 Must you? 303 00:18:55,812 --> 00:18:57,871 Sorry. I'm just trying to cheer my buddy up. 304 00:18:59,549 --> 00:19:01,744 Rotting zombie. 305 00:19:02,018 --> 00:19:03,918 Sheldon's new Facebook photo. 306 00:19:09,025 --> 00:19:12,654 Zandor, wizard of the north. Ha! I win. 307 00:19:13,062 --> 00:19:15,553 If you skip the part about being under quarantine... 308 00:19:15,732 --> 00:19:18,895 because you were exposed to a deadly disease, absolutely.