1
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,588
Gentlemen, I think I've come up
with a fun way...

2
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:09,508
...to get young peopIe
interested in science.

3
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,344
Physics Mad Libs.

4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,681
Now, give me a number.

5
00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,641
-Five.
-Uh-huh.

6
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,102
And an irrational constant.

7
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:21,729
E.

8
00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:23,313
And a funny Greek letter.

9
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:26,316
-Gamma.
-I said funny.

10
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,445
-UpsiIon?
-Heh, good one.

11
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,406
And an electrical charge.

12
00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:35,034
-Positive.
-Ha, ha! Perfect.

13
00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:37,911
Okay, get this. Ahem.

14
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,539
"Professor Jones
told the symposium...

15
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:44,835
...he had a new method
for calculating the mass of a muon.

16
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,880
Five times the limit of, heh...

17
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:51,467
...E to the upsilon as it approaches--"

18
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:52,801
Ha, ha, oh, my gosh. Okay.

19
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,386
Okay, no, no. Ahem.

20
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:56,388
I'll start over.

21
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:57,681
"Professor Jo--"

22
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,850
[LAUGHlNG]

23
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,311
I haven't seen him laugh that hard...

24
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,772
...since the day Leonard
made that multiplication error.

25
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:07,399
Oh, Lord, that multiplication error.

26
00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,777
He thought he carried the one,
but he didn't.

27
00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:12,154
[LAUGHlNG]

28
00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:14,740
It's not funny.
That mistake got published.

29
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:17,618
Stop, I'm gonna wet myseIf.

30
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:20,746
Guys. Guys, President Seibert
is headed this way.

31
00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:23,248
HOWARD: l wonder what he wants.
-He doesn't look happy.

32
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:24,750
I'm guessing he wants Sheldon.

33
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,627
-Dr. Cooper.
-Told you.

34
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:28,295
SHELDON:
Ah, President Seibert.

35
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,214
I assume you'd like to respond...

36
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:33,258
...to one of the suggestions
I put in the box by your office.

37
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:36,678
No, and stop instaIling
suggestion boxes everywhere.

38
00:01:37,305 --> 00:01:38,931
You don't like written suggestions.

39
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:42,101
You don't like when l give them
to you while in the men's room.

40
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:45,437
If I didn't know any better,
I'd say you're one of those people...

41
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,981
...who are not open to suggestions.

42
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:51,860
Dr. Cooper, the Physics Department
tells me you're refusing to take vacation.

43
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:54,738
-I don't need a vacation.
-You're obligated to take one.

44
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,866
And l'd like you to know
the most often received suggestion...

45
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,869
...in my suggestion box you installed
without asking me is:

46
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,038
"Can Dr. Cooper take a vacation?"

47
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:07,167
Okay, it's settled, then. l'll see you all
on Monday. Except for you.

48
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:10,087
But if l don't come into work,
what am l supposed to do?

49
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,548
Read, rest, travel.

50
00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:15,259
I hear Afghanistan is nice
this time of year.

51
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,012
Sarcasm?

52
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,973
No, you should go.

53
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:49,835
[THE BLACK EYED PEAS'
"l GOTTA FEELlNG" PLAYlNG ON RADIO]

54
00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:51,879
[SlNGlNG]
Tonight's gonna be a good night

55
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:55,507
And tonight's gonna be a good night

56
00:02:55,842 --> 00:03:00,304
And tonight's gonna be a good, good night

57
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,932
Tonight's the night, uh, uh
Let's live it up, uh

58
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,977
l got my money
Let's spend it up--

59
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,146
Good Lord.

60
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,356
Would you stop that caterwauIing?

61
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:14,151
[PANTlNG]

62
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,819
What the hell are you doing?

63
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:18,572
BIeeding from my ears.

64
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:21,783
-What are you doing hiding back there?
-I'm sneaking into work.

65
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:25,204
Now, if the guard at the university
asks what's under the bIanket...

66
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,706
...you telI him it's some lobster traps.

67
00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:29,958
-Lobster traps?
-Yes.

68
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:34,171
That's how Velma and Scooby smuggIed
Shaggy into the old lighthouse.

69
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,382
What are you gonna do
when you get to the university?

70
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:38,884
People are gonna recognize you.

71
00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:40,469
[SCOFFS]

72
00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:42,679
Will they, Leonard?

73
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:50,520
Fine. Just get back under your blanket
and I'll drive you there.

74
00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:53,357
And no more singing.

75
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,694
Fine.

76
00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:05,535
SHELDON: l have GPS on my phone.
I know you turned around.

77
00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,414
I'm so glad you talked Howard...

78
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:12,918
...out of having your wedding invitations
in Klingon.

79
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:15,754
Turn it over.

80
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,759
I'm hoping my reIatives
think it's Hebrew.

81
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,136
[SlGHS]

82
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,721
This is really happening.

83
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,473
I'm gonna be a maid of honor.

84
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:29,559
'l'm gonna wear a beautiful dress
and walk down that aisle...

85
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:33,397
...and finally,
I wiIl have my special day.

86
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,148
You mean my special day.

87
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,111
They're gonna need an extra-large veiI
for somebody's head.

88
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,615
-If I actually ever get married.
-Why wouldn't you?

89
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:46,743
My dad. Because l make
a lot more money than Howie...

90
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,121
...he's putting a lot of pressure on me
to get a prenup.

91
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,081
-Ouch!
-Yeah.

92
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,668
-Howie's gonna freak out.
-Parental pressure can be daunting.

93
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:58,297
I remember the battle with my mother
about shaving my legs.

94
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:02,134
Last year, l finally gave in
and let her do it.

95
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:07,097
I just don't know
how I'm gonna break it to him.

96
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,392
I'm a believer in breaking bad news
to a guy when you're in bed.

97
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:13,312
That's how I told my high school
boyfriend l slept with his brother.

98
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,898
That's how I told his brother
the same thing.

99
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,278
I don't know.
I don't wanna manipuIate him with sex.

100
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:23,613
Oh, sweetie, that's what sex is for.

101
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:27,784
The connection between marriage
and money is nothing new.

102
00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:30,662
The term "wed" referred
to the money and livestock...

103
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,581
...the groom paid the bride's father.

104
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:36,209
For exampIe, you're adorable,
intelligent and a good earner.

105
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:40,213
I could conservatively see you going
for at least two oxen and a goose.

106
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:44,468
You would fetch a unicorn.

107
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:50,974
Sheldon, there are a million
great vacations you could take.

108
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,351
What about Hawaii?

109
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:57,189
Hawaii is a former Ieper colony
on top of an active volcano...

110
00:05:57,398 --> 00:06:00,692
...where the disappointing ending
to Lost was filmed.

111
00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:05,864
Mahalo for nothing, Hawaii.

112
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,366
How about Florida?

113
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,534
They got Cape Canaveral,
they got Disney.

114
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:13,246
They got my Aunt lda and the world's
Iargest collection of diabetic candy.

115
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,207
And plus, if you get sweaty enough...

116
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:18,001
...her pIastic-covered furniture
is Iike a flume ride.

117
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:22,005
My family took a trip to FIorida
when I was a child.

118
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:26,176
A seagull stole a hot dog from me
on the beach.

119
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,552
I got the message.

120
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,222
If I had a week off...

121
00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:33,600
...I'd go back to the Two Bunch Palms
Resort and Spa in the desert.

122
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,395
I tell you, an hour on the massage table
with Trevor...

123
00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:39,815
...and you'll feel like you were born
without bones.

124
00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:43,944
I don't think I could ever let a guy
give me a massage.

125
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:47,572
Really? What was I doing to your neck
Iast night whiIe you were playing Xbox?

126
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:51,868
Guys, l am Iiving in a dictatorship.

127
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:56,957
[lN DEEP VOICE] "You must take a vacation.
You must have fun. You must enjoy life."

128
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:01,294
I don't think you have a good handle
on dictatorships.

129
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,255
Sheldon, everybody takes vacations.

130
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:06,591
[lN NORMAL VOlCE] One time, they tried
to make Richard Feynman take a vacation.

131
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,594
But he chose instead to expand his mind
and learn something new.

132
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,888
He went to work
in his friend's biology lab.

133
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,808
Richard Feynman
was a famous American physicist...

134
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:17,394
...part of the Manhattan Project.

135
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:20,897
Everyone in the world of science
knows who Richard Feynman was.

136
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:23,150
Yeah, now you do too.

137
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:30,782
Oh. l have a brilliant idea.
Amy's a biologist. I'll go work in her lab.

138
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,410
Isn't that just Feynman's idea?

139
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:36,329
Ten seconds ago you never heard
of him, now you're an expert.

140
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,127
-Hey.
-Hey, you.

141
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:44,629
That your laundry?
You have six things in there.

142
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,131
I didn't have any quarters.

143
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:49,759
So I've been sneaking stuff
into other people's loads all day.

144
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:52,888
If I tell you something,
you promise not to tell anybody?

145
00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:55,390
Doesn't matter what I say,
you're gonna tell me anyway.

146
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,977
Wha--? That is not true.

147
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,772
Bernadette wants a prenup.

148
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:04,399
LEONARD:
Wow.

149
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,067
That's rough.

150
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:08,778
If I became a famous movie star
and we got married...

151
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:12,115
-...you wouldn't sign a prenup?
-Heh, absolutely not.

152
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,451
If I'm gonna be at home
with the kids...

153
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:18,747
...while you're on location
cheating on me with Ryan Gosling...

154
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:22,626
...then Leonard gots to get paid.

155
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:26,171
So do you think about us
getting married?

156
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:27,797
I think about a Iot of things.

157
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,592
I think about us getting married,
about us breaking up.

158
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:34,971
Once in a while, I think about how l didn't
Ieave a note on that Mercedes l dinged...

159
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,807
...but then I have a glass of wine
and it passes.

160
00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:41,102
Joke all you want,
but you think about it.

161
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:46,274
WeIl, tell you one thing, if I ever do
get married, no Klingon invitations.

162
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:49,486
Good luck catching a man
with that attitude.

163
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:55,909
Boy, oh, boy, this vacation
is off to a wonderful start.

164
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,537
The smell of formaldehyde.

165
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,831
The whir of the centrifuge.

166
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:06,044
The distant chatter of lab animals
being dispatched for dissection.

167
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:10,715
Mm, l can already feel my cares
just melting away.

168
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,552
I'm excited to work with my boyfriend.
It's romantic.

169
00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:16,221
Way to kill the mood.

170
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:20,433
Come on, Sheldon. We can be like
Marie Curie and her husband, Pierre...

171
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,852
...who spent their days
working side by side...

172
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:26,356
...bathed in the glow of their love
and the radium that ultimately kilIed her.

173
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:31,278
Screw Beauty and the Beast,
that's the love story Disney should teIl.

174
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,239
Okay. what do we start with?

175
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:38,034
Maybe, uh, splicing some genes.
Clone a sheep.

176
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:41,371
Perhaps, uh, grow a human ear
on a mouse's back?

177
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,748
[AS MlCKEY MOUSE]
"Ha, ha! l'm a freak."

178
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,919
WeIl, I'm gonna be doing
some brain stem histology...

179
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,964
...while you put yourself
on the business end of a sponge...

180
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:52,591
...and wash those beakers.

181
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:56,177
Wash those b-- Oh, l get it.

182
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,973
Little hazing for the new feIlow. Yeah.
Better keep an eye out for, what...

183
00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:01,975
...shoe polish on the microscope...

184
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:04,894
...or mad cow disease
in my grilled cheese sandwich?

185
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:08,982
No, I just need those beakers washed.
Hippity-hop, quick like a bunny.

186
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:12,235
Excuse me, you have
Dr. Sheldon Cooper in your lab.

187
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,987
You're gonna make him
do the dishes?

188
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:17,824
That's like asking the lncredible Hulk
to open a pickle jar.

189
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:22,120
Sheldon, you've never worked in a lab
Iike this before.

190
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,623
You have no experience
in the fieId of biology.

191
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:27,125
I have plenty of experience in biology.

192
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,961
I bought a Tamagotchi in 1 998...

193
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:33,882
...and it's still alive. Let's do this.

194
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:41,931
Where's Howard?

195
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,059
No, "Hi, Raj," no, "How are you, Raj?"

196
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:46,936
Just straight to,
"Where's the other white guy?"

197
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:49,522
I'm sorry.

198
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:53,735
So, listen, l heard something about him.
Can you keep it between us?

199
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,446
Ooh, gossip. When l first got here...

200
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,157
...I thought Americans really gossiped
around the water cooler.

201
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,369
I hung out there for a month,
but the only gossip l heard...

202
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:05,789
...was about some creepy guy
hanging out by the water cooler.

203
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,334
Bernadette wants to get a prenup.

204
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,337
Oh, that's a shame.
He's gonna be devastated.

205
00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:14,631
I never know what to do
in these situations.

206
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,841
-Should l give him a heads up?
-Hmm.

207
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,386
I'm gonna give you the advice
I yell at the TV...

208
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:22,263
...when the Bachelor
is handing out roses.

209
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:25,308
Follow your heart.

210
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,311
Check it out.

211
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:33,108
Look at the size of that
Rice Krispie Treat. Same price, ha, ha.

212
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,527
Ahem, hey, Howard,
I need to tell you something.

213
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:39,197
I know, it's not on my wedding diet.
I don't care.

214
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:47,414
No. Listen, l heard that Bernadette's thinking
about asking you for a prenup.

215
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:49,708
A prenup?

216
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:51,751
Heh, wow.

217
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:53,545
What are you gonna do?

218
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:57,215
I don't know.

219
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,384
Follow your heart.

220
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:09,018
You know what?
It's not a big deal.

221
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,187
I mean,
she makes more money than me.

222
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,816
She wants to protect
her financial interests.

223
00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:17,944
-It's completely reasonable.
-Good, that's a heaIthy attitude.

224
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:21,448
Actually, it's good for both of us.
I have assets to protect too.

225
00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:23,533
Like what?

226
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,744
WeIl, I've got some rare comic books.

227
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,246
You know,
the Vespa's aImost paid off.

228
00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:32,375
Ma and I have a primo
double cemetery pIot at Mt. Sinai...

229
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,837
...right near the guy who played
Mr. Roper on Three's Company.

230
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:38,256
Mr. Roper's dead?

231
00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:43,011
You can't just spring that on a guy.

232
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,556
Here you go.

233
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:50,727
This is now the only lab with glassware
washed by a man with two doctorates...

234
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:54,272
...and a restraining order
signed by Carl Sagan.

235
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,108
Soap spots. Wash them again.

236
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:01,154
You're being ridiculous.
Those are perfectly clean.

237
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,365
This beaker used to contain
cerebrospinal fluid...

238
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,618
...from an elephant
that died of syphiIis.

239
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:09,162
If it's, in fact, perfectly clean,
drink from it.

240
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,713
Biologists are mean.

241
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,593
Perhaps this task
will be a little bit more up your alley.

242
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:26,763
I need you to count the bacteria spores
on these petri dishes.

243
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,098
There was something wrong
with that detergent.

244
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:32,268
-That was way too bubbly.
-I'm sure it was.

245
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,814
I intend to write that soap company
a strongIy-worded letter.

246
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:38,983
Yeah, good for you.
Now start counting.

247
00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:41,069
You know what this place needs?

248
00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:43,863
A suggestion box.

249
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:49,452
Three hundred sixty-six.
Three hundred sixty-seven.

250
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,954
How's it going?

251
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:53,081
How's counting going?

252
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,666
When l was in kindergarten...

253
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:58,878
...I recited pi to a thousand places
for the school talent show.

254
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,548
-I think I got this.
-Great.

255
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,138
Aw, nuts.

256
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,226
One.

257
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,688
This is preposterous.

258
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,315
You're giving me these tasks
because you're afraid...

259
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:22,986
...if you give me anything meaningful
to do, I'll show you up.

260
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,029
Really? Is that what you think?

261
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,447
Yes, that's what l think.

262
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:29,659
And l'm super smart,
so it's probably true.

263
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,830
Hey, I've been training in the field
of neurobiology for 1 2 years.

264
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:37,542
You've been here three hours and
you spent one of them in the bathroom.

265
00:14:37,751 --> 00:14:42,714
WeIl, I'm sorry, it takes me a while to get
things going on an unfamiliar toilet.

266
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:47,343
I've given you the simplest things to do
and you haven't done one of them right.

267
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,554
That's because
I'm not being challenged.

268
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,723
It's the same reason
Einstein failed math.

269
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:54,058
Maybe the math
was too bubbly for him.

270
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,228
You think you're doing science
by cutting up that brain?

271
00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,105
They couId do the same at Quiznos.

272
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,567
And they'd offer to toast it for me too.

273
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,986
Okay, smart guy.

274
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:09,157
I'm about to remove the locus coeruleus,
which is incredibly delicate work.

275
00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:11,409
Have at it.

276
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,370
AIl right.

277
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:18,291
I'm no stranger to a little gray matter.

278
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,376
[SHELDON SNlFFS]

279
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:28,509
Locus coeruleus.

280
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,888
You're getting warmer.
It is indeed in the brain.

281
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,601
Hope your hands are steady.
It's the width of a single hair.

282
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:40,063
But this is just biology,
so it's no probIem for a genius like you.

283
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:43,358
It's not. l will have you know
in the fieId of physics we work...

284
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:47,236
...with particles so small they make
fat jokes about the locus coeruleus...

285
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,783
...ie, when your locus coeruleus
sits around the house...

286
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:54,077
...it sits around the house.

287
00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,582
Oh.

288
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,502
-Are we nervous, Dr. Cooper?
-No.

289
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:08,341
What you see
is a man trembling with confidence.

290
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:14,138
Does the Iocus coeruIeus
normally bleed that much?

291
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,724
No, but your thumb does.

292
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,980
Oh, dear.

293
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,944
Yeah, you're a biologist.

294
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:33,616
What are you doing here?

295
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:35,910
I'm on vacation.

296
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:40,623
Social convention dictates that l let
my hair down at a local watering hole.

297
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:46,295
Social convention is stupid.

298
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,340
What happened to your thumb?

299
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,509
Yeah, l have ten fingers
and ten toes.

300
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:55,805
If I tell you a story about each of them,
we'll be here all day. Let's move on.

301
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:58,599
-What can l get you?
-Ah.

302
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:02,729
Seeing as l'm on vacation,
a piña colada seems appropriate.

303
00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:05,440
Extra pineapple slices,
extra whipped cream...

304
00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:09,861
...extra cherries, extra umbrellas,
and, uh, hold the rum.

305
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,740
Don't Iet me have too many of those.

306
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,200
Hey. What are you guys doing here?

307
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:19,370
We're grown men.
We drink at bars, heh.

308
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:21,831
No and no.

309
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,960
Everything okay
with you and Bernadette?

310
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,463
Oh, yeah, sure.

311
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:32,175
-You and Amy? Good?
-Oh, better than good.

312
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:36,512
Those girls text me every detail
of their lives as it happens.

313
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,015
I'm not signing a prenup.

314
00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:43,186
AIl right, wolowitz, listen up. You
sign anything she puts in front of you.

315
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,146
You are the luckiest man alive.

316
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:48,107
If you let her go, there is no way
you can find anyone else.

317
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:51,861
Speaking on behalf of aIl women, it
is not gonna happen, we had a meeting.

318
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,572
And you.

319
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,533
A grown man fainting at the sight
of a little blood.

320
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:02,497
Excuse me,
this is a fairly substantial wound. You--

321
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:08,461
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

322
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:09,754
Amy. Amy.

323
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,465
Amy.

324
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:15,676
What do you want?

325
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:20,848
I was kind of hoping l could continue
vacationing in your laboratory.

326
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,601
After all, I did book the whole week.

327
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:28,231
Do you honestly think
you can just waltz back in here...

328
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,358
...after the way you behaved
yesterday?

329
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:35,738
I was not myself.
I had lost a lot of thumb blood.

330
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:41,119
-That's not an apology.
-That is your opinion.

331
00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:43,329
I want a real apoIogy.

332
00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:49,752
-I'm sorry that you weren't able to--
-No.

333
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,964
-That my genius got--
-No.

334
00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:56,592
-That the soap was so--
-Sheldon.

335
00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:00,054
Fine.

336
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,226
Sorry.

337
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,937
You're forgiven.

338
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,480
Now, if you wanna stay...

339
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,984
...get started on those beakers.
They're still dirty from yesterday.

340
00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:19,490
Next year, l'm going to Epcot.

341
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:27,123
Are you mad at me?

342
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,041
No. I'm not mad at you.

343
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,878
I just wish you would've come to me...

344
00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:35,590
...so I didn't have to hear it
through the nerd-vine.

345
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:40,011
So, what are we gonna do?

346
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:44,056
-You really want me to sign a prenup?
-I don't know.

347
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:46,392
My dad's pretty insistent on it,
though.

348
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:48,519
Why don't I talk to your dad?

349
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,688
-Man to man.
-Really?

350
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,900
-Oh, that'd be so great. Heh.
-Done.

351
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:59,030
I should probabIy give you a heads up
about a couple things.

352
00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:03,659
Even though he's retired from
the poIice force, he still carries his gun.

353
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:07,705
But don't worry, he won't shoot it.
It's more of a fashion statement.

354
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,917
Okay, heh.

355
00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:13,377
And just to be safe,
when you talk to him...

356
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:16,047
...don't bring up Jimmy Carter,
gardeners...

357
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:19,550
...foreign peopIe, homosexuals,
Sean Penn, Vatican lI, gun controI...

358
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,886
...organic food,
the designated hitter rule...

359
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:24,472
...recycling
or the fact that you're Jewish.

360
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:31,437
Got it, got it.
Will you e-mail me that list, heh?

361
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:36,275
So the thing to watch for,
if he's shouting at you, you're okay.

362
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,277
But if he starts to get real quiet...

363
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:42,198
...leave as quickly as you can
without making eye contact.

364
00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:46,786
Not in a straight line,
throw some zigs and zags in there.

365
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:49,247
[SlGHS]

366
00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:51,249
You know, this isn't that pressing.

367
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:53,834
Why don't I talk to him about it
in May, heh?

368
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:57,588
In May you're gonna be on
the International Space Station.

369
00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,757
They got a phone.

370
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,994
[English - US - SDH]