1
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,249
SHELDON:
I must say, Leonard...
2
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:10,606
...when I first heard your idea
for Giant Jenga I was skeptical.
3
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:16,605
I can't blame you,
Tiny Twister was a complete bust.
4
00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,000
Oh. But I was wrong.
5
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:22,762
The looming threat of being crushed
under a pile of lumber...
6
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,321
...does add a certain spice.
7
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,610
I've never felt so alive.
8
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:28,966
(CHUCKLES)
9
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:30,360
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
10
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:36,127
Oh, hello, Alex. Let me go get you
last night's recordings.
11
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:37,446
What recordings?
12
00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,961
Remember when you told me
I talk in my sleep?
13
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:44,284
It occurred to me that like most things I say,
it's probably pure gold.
14
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,282
So I started recording it all and...
15
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,130
...now Alex gets to comb through...
16
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,965
...eight hours of what I like to call
"Sheldon After Dark."
17
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:54,806
- Hey, Leonard.
- Hey.
18
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,769
Just playing a little Giant Jenga.
19
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,571
I know, I'm the one who
had to buy him the helmet.
20
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,450
So do you have plans this weekend?
21
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:06,321
Most of Saturday's gonna be figuring out
where to put this game when we're done.
22
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,006
How about you?
23
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,847
I'm gonna go hear Kip Thorne give a
lecture about subatomic space-time.
24
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,971
Oh, that's his take on John Wheeler's
quantum foam. That should be great.
25
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,491
Well, you can come with me.
26
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,490
I'd love to, but I'm supposed to
hang out with Penny.
27
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:24,002
- Well, bring her.
- Oh, she's not really into in that kind of stuff.
28
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:29,009
Well, if you want to hear about the lecture,
I can tell you all about it at work...
29
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,003
...or, you know, over dinner sometime.
30
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,366
What?
31
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,208
Giant Jenga! I win!
32
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,680
Oh, come on, that can't be true.
33
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:10,842
I did the research. Tony the Tiger...
34
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:15,642
...Dig 'Em the frog, Cap'N Crunch, Toucan
Sam, Count Chocula, Trix the Rabbit...
35
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,683
...Snap, Crackle and Pop.
36
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,011
Not one cereal mascot is a girl.
37
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,484
It's a total breakfast sausage fest.
38
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:27,851
Are we done with this?
39
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:32,728
Almost. Franken Berry, Boo Berry,
Sugar Bear, and the Honey Nut Cheerio Bee.
40
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,048
I believe his name is Buzz.
41
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,761
Terrific. Something weird happened
and I don't know what to do about it.
42
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,849
- What's going on?
- Sheldon's assistant...
43
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,081
...asked me on a date.
44
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:43,925
How could you do that to me?
45
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,560
You know I've been working it
with Alex for weeks.
46
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,200
Working it? You can't even talk to her.
47
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,886
I talk with my eyes.
48
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,886
You look like my little cousin when
he's dropping one in his diaper.
49
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:06,445
She knows I have a girlfriend.
It's so weird.
50
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,250
Oh, my God. You're loving this!
51
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,561
To my bones.
52
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,768
(CHUCKLING)
53
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,962
I'm not gonna do anything about it.
I love Penny.
54
00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:18,250
It's just nice to have a young, attractive
woman sniffing around the goods.
55
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:24,760
I both hate you and want to be you.
This is Ryan Gosling all over again.
56
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:28,970
Aww. Gentlemen. What is on the
conversational menu this morning?
57
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,009
Leonard stole my woman,
and he knew...
58
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,164
...I was only six to eight months away
from making my move.
59
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,764
I didn't steal anyone.
60
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,810
Your assistant is totally hitting on this jerk
and he loves it.
61
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,567
Well, that's not acceptable. I'm her boss.
62
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,326
She needs to be solely focused
on my needs...
63
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:51,088
...not distracted by your pasty,
androgynous brand of sexuality.
64
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,365
I'm androgynous?
65
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:58,849
Oh, please. Look at you with your
pouty bee-stung lips.
66
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,011
What do you think I should do?
67
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,050
I say you tell Alex your heart
belongs to Penny.
68
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,443
I provide her a shoulder to cry on,
then roughly half a year later...
69
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:08,846
...I give it to her good.
70
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:16,482
I want to thank you all for coming on such
short notice. In the past...
71
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,530
...I've reached out to each of you
individually...
72
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:25,005
...but I believe my present situation
requires the collective wisdom of the group.
73
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:30,001
Which, as you can see from
your commemorative t-shirts, I've dubbed...
74
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:34,125
...Sheldon Cooper's Council of Ladies.
75
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:38,047
What is happening?
76
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:43,047
I need your advice about a delicate
workplace situation.
77
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,727
To protect those involved,
I'll be changing their names.
78
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,211
Who's involved?
79
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,250
A short, bespectacled colleague of mine...
80
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:55,200
...who lives in the shadow
of his brilliant roommate.
81
00:04:55,440 --> 00:05:00,128
Uh... Let's call this colleague
Ricardo Shilly-Shally.
82
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,851
- You're talking about Leonard.
- No, no.
83
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:10,246
Shilly-Shally has red hair and
briefly served in the Mexican Navy.
84
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:16,084
Anyway, despite the fact
that he has a girlfriend...
85
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,527
...Shilly-Shally has been the recipient...
86
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:22,241
...of inappropriate workplace flirtations
from a young lady.
87
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,444
- It's your assistant Alex, isn't it?
- No.
88
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:30,290
No, it's Tondelaya della Ventimiglia.
89
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,641
What the hell is going on
with Leonard and Alex?
90
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:37,247
I'm sorry, who's talking about
Leonard and Alex?
91
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,445
Fine. Ricardo and Tondelaya.
92
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,444
It's not really about
Ricardo and Tondelaya.
93
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,602
It is really about her boss...
94
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:50,448
...who doesn't quite know how to handle
this situation and could use your advice...
95
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:54,446
...which is surprising, because
Dr. Einstein Von Brainstorm...
96
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,327
...he's usually pretty smart
about these things.
97
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,566
Ugh. I'm gonna kill her!
98
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,849
You've got nothing to worry about.
Leonard would never cheat on you.
99
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:08,164
She's right. But say the word, I got a lab
full of cocaine-addicted monkeys...
100
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:09,810
...with nothing to lose.
101
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,290
One of them could end up
in the back seat of her car.
102
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,329
Or her shower.
103
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:21,163
Ladies, ladies, please.
We're not here to talk about Penny.
104
00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:25,120
We're here to talk about me.
I mean Einstein Von Brainstorm! Darn it.
105
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,641
All right, I guess the cat's out of the bag.
106
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,210
Let me explain what's going on.
Ricardo is really Leon...
107
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,522
We know what's going on, Sheldon!
108
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,330
But what should I do?
109
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,371
Alex is your employee.
If she's doing something that's...
110
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,171
...making Leonard uncomfortable,
you should talk to her.
111
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,687
Oh, he's not uncomfortable at all.
He's loving it.
112
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:48,168
He's strutting around
like he's 5-foot-6.
113
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,491
What? He's loving it?
114
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,162
Sheldon, you need to talk to Alex
right away.
115
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,322
Talk to her. That's all you've got?
116
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,324
With a cool name like
Sheldon Cooper's Council of Ladies...
117
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,329
...I really expected more.
118
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,842
Give me back the t-shirts.
119
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:18,882
Alex, check my schedule.
What does my afternoon look like?
120
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:23,051
I think it's pretty wide open. Oh, wait.
Here's something at 4:00.
121
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,681
"Give Alex a talking to"?
122
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,568
Well, that snuck up on us, didn't it?
123
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:34,366
- Is there a problem?
- Let's not call it a problem...
124
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,363
...let's call it an opportunity.
125
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,204
To solve a serious problem.
126
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,286
What did I do?
127
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,723
You don't know? Oh, you poor dear.
128
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,884
Your ovaries are squirting so much
goofy juice into your brain...
129
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,088
...you don't know which way is up.
130
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:55,282
You made an inappropriate
sexual advance towards Dr. Hofstadter.
131
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:59,126
What? I didn't make a sexual advance
on anybody.
132
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,448
Now, there's no need to get defensive.
133
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,841
I'm not unsympathetic to your plight.
134
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:07,971
My father used to say
that a woman is like...
135
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:12,091
...an egg salad sandwich
on a warm Texas day.
136
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,764
What?
137
00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:19,766
Full of eggs and only appealing
for a short time.
138
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,088
This conversation
is making me uncomfortable.
139
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:25,129
Yeah, you and me both, sister.
140
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:32,606
Please understand, I don't hold you
responsible for your behavior.
141
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:37,766
From an evolutionary standpoint,
you're a slave to your desire to reproduce.
142
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,490
But during the work day...
143
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,770
...when you feel possessed
by amorous intent, may I suggest...
144
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,407
...you suppress it by leafing through
this illustrated book...
145
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,483
...of sexually transmitted diseases.
146
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,928
(SHELDON SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
147
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,169
Oh, yes. Check out this oozy doozy.
148
00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:58,487
I have to go.
149
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:02,162
So does this fellow, but he
can't without it burning like hot soup.
150
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,002
(LEONARD WHISTLING)
151
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,962
Hey, pretty lady.
152
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,689
You seem extra happy.
153
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,406
- I guess I am.
- Any particular reason why?
154
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,489
No, just having a good day.
155
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,166
This morning Sheldon fell asleep
on the way to work...
156
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,641
...so I got to listen to the radio.
That was crazy.
157
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,802
Mm-hm. Anything else?
158
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:30,005
Mm... I found this quiz online called
"Which Star Trek Character Are You?"
159
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,527
It only took me four tries
to get Captain Kirk. Heh.
160
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:34,526
- That's great.
- Oh.
161
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:36,284
(MIMICS CAPTAIN KIRK)
It. Was.
162
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,680
(GIGGLES)
163
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,686
Hmm.
I'm glad you're having such a great day.
164
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:45,641
And the one thing that could make it
better is an evening with my special girl.
165
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:46,847
Oh, and who's that?
166
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:48,527
What do you mean?
167
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,161
I just didn't know if you meant me
or Alex.
168
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,211
Why would I mean Alex?
169
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,046
Because I know she hit on you
and I know you liked it!
170
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,480
(NERVOUSLY)
What?
171
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:04,051
Don't play dumb with me,
Ricardo Shilly-Shally!
172
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,051
I'm missing something.
173
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,047
Did you say something to Penny
about Alex?
174
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:22,242
Yes, and a fat lot of good it did me.
All she did was get mad at you.
175
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,569
Why would you do that?
176
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,404
I needed advice about a woman.
177
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:31,161
I would have asked you, but
if the last few years have proven anything...
178
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,891
...it's that you can't tell a uterus
from a unicycle.
179
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:39,291
At least I know not to blab to a girl
about somebody flirting with her boyfriend.
180
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:40,487
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
181
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,722
Good to know.
A few more helpful hints like that...
182
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,406
...you may find yourself
on the Council of Ladies.
183
00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,562
Hello?
184
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,570
I see. What time?
185
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,725
Very well, then.
186
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:58,763
Huh. That was the Human Resources
Department at the university.
187
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,970
Apparently my assistant, Alex,
has filed a complaint accusing me of...
188
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,600
...inappropriate behavior
in the workplace.
189
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,240
Oh, my God. What did you do?
190
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,923
Oh. Let me think...
191
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,605
Nothing, I'm a delight.
192
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,524
Human Resources Department.
193
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,123
Human Resources Department.
194
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,049
Human Resources Department.
195
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,006
Come in?
196
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,804
- Hello.
- Ah. Dr. Cooper, have a seat.
197
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,126
Thank you.
198
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,442
I called you in today because
your assistant...
199
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,285
...Alex Jensen has
lodged a complaint against you.
200
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:45,445
So I've been told. But I can't understand
what she has to complain about.
201
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,769
She has a front row seat as I
make scientific history...
202
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:52,811
...there's string cheese in my mini-fridge
and that's for anyone...
203
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:58,650
...and just yesterday I led her away
from a life of sexual promiscuity...
204
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:02,361
...by making her look at pictures
of disease-ridden genitalia.
205
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:12,121
Cancel my next appointment.
This is gonna take a while.
206
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,926
Dr. Cooper, you said things
to your employee...
207
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,162
...that you just cannot say
in the workplace.
208
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:19,841
Like what?
209
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,123
Well, according to Ms. Jensen you said...
210
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:25,682
...that she was a
"slave to her biological urges"...
211
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,287
...and called her an "egg salad sandwich."
212
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,083
I don't even know what that means...
213
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:37,050
...but I'm gonna go ahead
and tell you you can't say it.
214
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:41,364
Oh, I see the confusion here.
215
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,729
Alex thought I was singling her out. No.
216
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:49,647
I meant that all women
are slaves to their biological urges.
217
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,205
Even you.
218
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,044
You're a slave.
219
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,009
I'm a what?
220
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:05,886
I'm just saying. At a certain point
in a woman's menstrual cycle...
221
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,804
Uh-uh. Oh.
222
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,889
You can't talk about that either.
223
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,163
Your language is entirely inappropriate,
and I'm going to advise...
224
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,129
...that you shut your mouth right now.
225
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,170
I don't see why I'm the one being
persecuted here.
226
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,688
Dr. Hofstadter was bragging about his
sexual desirability...
227
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,444
...to anyone who would listen.
228
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:28,047
Howard Wolowitz spent two years
using university resources...
229
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,402
...building a six-breasted sex robot.
230
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:35,125
And at the office Christmas party,
I heard Rajesh Koothrappali...
231
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,124
...refer to you several times
as "Brown Sugar."
232
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:46,081
Hofstadter, Wolowitz and
that last one was Rajesh Koothrappali?
233
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:51,531
Yes. But in his defense,
that wasn't racist. He's also brown.
234
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,649
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
235
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:02,924
(SINGING)
I'm sorry Alex hit on me
236
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:07,768
Hit on me, hit on me
237
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:13,120
Sorry Alex hit on me
I had no idea I'm cute
238
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:18,771
Aw. Damn it, you are.
239
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:20,007
(CHUCKLES)
240
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,289
Please forgive me,
I should have told you about Alex.
241
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,171
I don't care about Alex. Fine, I care.
242
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,084
Okay, I hate the bitch.
243
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:31,447
But what really hurt
is that you liked it so much.
244
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:32,801
Do I need to be worried?
245
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,809
Of course not. No. Why?
246
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,850
Because she's pretty and smart
and when you talk about work...
247
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,651
...she doesn't have to look up words
in the dictionary...
248
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,609
...to understand what you said.
249
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:44,922
- You do that?
- No.
250
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:50,601
Hang on. Are you feeling insecure?
Because that's my thing.
251
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:54,446
And if you take it away, I don't know
what I'm bringing to this relationship.
252
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,849
Yes, Leonard, I am insecure. Happy?
253
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,202
No, I'm not happy.
254
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,126
Why are you smiling?
255
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,841
I'm sorry, it's just I never think of you
having feelings like that.
256
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,365
- Well, I do.
- Why?
257
00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:14,171
Nothing is ever going to happen
between me and Alex.
258
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:16,805
Good.
259
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,923
Come here.
260
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,166
- Can I tell you a secret?
- What's that?
261
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:28,604
With all these women chasing me,
I kind of do feel like Captain Kirk.
262
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,001
- Can I tell you a secret?
- Sure.
263
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,761
Keep talking about Captain Kirk
and we're all gonna stop.
264
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,644
(MIMICS CAPTAIN KIRK)
Message. Received.
265
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,447
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
266
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,329
Excuse me.
267
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,290
Hello.
268
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,522
This is Dr. Hofstadter.
269
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,889
Okay.
270
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,762
All right, thank you.
271
00:15:56,040 --> 00:16:00,090
That's weird.
I'm getting called into Human Resources.
272
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:02,686
What did you do?
273
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,809
I don't know.
274
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:09,845
Huh. I just got called into Human Resources.
275
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:11,167
Why?
276
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,085
I don't know. Heh.
277
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:18,407
Huh. That is so strange. Human Resources
wants to talk to me tomorrow.
278
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:22,087
Could you stop licking your ass
for two minutes? I have a problem here.
279
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,370
Do you really think
you should be drinking right now?
280
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:39,246
How else am I supposed to talk
to the human resources lady?
281
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,926
I don't know, seek professional help?
282
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:46,324
I did. The guy at the liquor store said
this stuff tastes great in coffee.
283
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,330
You got called in too? What is going on?
284
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,369
Sheldon threw us all under the bus.
285
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:56,046
I feel like I've been called
to the principal's office.
286
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,811
Although I wouldn't mind
if Brown Sugar suspended me...
287
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,170
...from a sex swing. Heh.
288
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,562
This may have been a mistake.
289
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,409
Relax, everything's gonna be fine.
290
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,643
Before I met Bernadette,
I was in here every other day.
291
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:20,807
Little tip, turn off your "I Like Big Butts"
ringtone before you go in.
292
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:23,767
- This is all your fault.
- How is this my fault?
293
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,849
If you weren't screwing around
with Sheldon's assistant...
294
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,810
- ...this wouldn't have happened.
- I wasn't screwing around.
295
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,009
Oh, of course not, she was just
sniffing around your goods...
296
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,162
...because she was hunting for truffles.
297
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,011
Ah. Mr. Wolowitz, it's been a while.
298
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,522
Hey, Janine. Heh. How're Tom and the kids?
299
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,446
Fine.
300
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,011
You must be Dr. Hofstadter?
301
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,084
Yes, but I think this is all
a big misunderstanding.
302
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,487
Yeah, me too. I didn't do anything.
303
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,290
Is that alcohol on your breath?
304
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,681
Howard built a sex robot.
305
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,004
That is not true.
All I did was build a robot.
306
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,650
Did it have six breasts?
307
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:08,844
I'm sorry, I'm a feminist. Heh.
I don't notice things like...
308
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,367
...how many breasts a robot has.
309
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:13,486
Well, hello.
310
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:14,766
What are you doing here?
311
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,402
- Actually, I came to speak to Mrs. Davis.
- And I'm a little busy right now.
312
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:22,326
But I came to file a complaint. Somebody
has made me feel uncomfortable...
313
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:26,690
...in the workplace by using language
of an inappropriate and sexual nature.
314
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,208
- And who is that?
- You, you dirty birdy.
315
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,041
I thought about the things
you said yesterday...
316
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,009
...and I realized I'm deeply offended.
317
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,891
Now, be a dear and get me
one of those complaint forms.
318
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:42,967
That's it. All of you, in my office now.
319
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:49,489
Thanks to you, I know better
than to ask if you're menstruating.
320
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,049
Based on your behavior, I don't have to.
321
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:04,403
It has been pointed out to me that
some of the things I said to you...
322
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,291
...could be construed as offensive.
323
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:12,520
And I would like to offer you
my sincerest apology.
324
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,564
Thank you, Dr. Cooper.
325
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:18,441
Additionally, you should know
that the university has mandated...
326
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:23,083
...that I take an online sexual harassment
seminar so that this sort of thing...
327
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,924
...doesn't happen in the future.
328
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,091
- Okay.
- Now, unfortunately...
329
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:33,610
...my time is much too valuable
to waste on nonsense like this...
330
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:37,401
...so I'm going to need you
to take it for me.
331
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:44,291
Oh, and you'd better ace it,
they're pretty mad.
332
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:54,286
- I was thinking about that stuff with Alex...
- Would you stop worrying about that?
333
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,767
I can't help it. But I figured
I could sit around...
334
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,480
...and feel insecure, or
I could do something about it.
335
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:03,886
So, I got a course catalog at school
and looked at some of the science classes.
336
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,690
- That's great.
- No, it isn't...
337
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,322
...they are extremely boring, how do you
not kill yourself, like, every day?
338
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:15,330
Anyway, I decided I don't need to be
a scientist, I could just look like one.
339
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,010
So I bought these.
340
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,764
Glasses? I really don't think
that's gonna change...
341
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,049
Oh, my God, you look so smart and hot!
342
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,681
I know, right? Watch this.
343
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:33,969
Molecules.
344
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,048
- Okay, come with me.
- Where are we going?
345
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:42,205
To my bedroom so I can take everything off
but those glasses.
346
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:45,170
And maybe the boots.