1 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:07,526 LEONARD: I don't know why I avoided the Harry Potter books for so long. These are great. 2 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,803 - I just started number six. - That's a good one. 3 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,570 SHELDON: Dumbledore dies in that one. 4 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:18,446 Yeah, I know, I didn't see it coming, either. 5 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,931 Why would you say that? 6 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,522 You brought up a subject, I contributed a fact on that subject. 7 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,929 It's called the art of conversation. Okay, your turn. 8 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,524 That was a huge spoiler. 9 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:33,330 Good. 10 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:38,404 What is wrong with you? If I did that, you'd bitch about it for weeks. 11 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:40,961 Really, Leonard? Gonna have one of your hissy fits? 12 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:43,124 Hissy fits? I have hissy fits? 13 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,891 Yes. And I have a theory why. 14 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:50,210 Because of your lactose intolerance, you switched over to soy milk. 15 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,762 Soy contains estrogen-mimicking compounds. 16 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:59,126 I think your morning Cocoa Puffs are turning you into a hysterical woman. 17 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,323 You are unbelievable. I don't know why I put up with you. 18 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:11,122 - You're controlling, you're irritating... - There you go again. Nag, nag, nag. 19 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,327 You're only proving my point, little lady. 20 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,169 You know what, screw you, Sheldon. 21 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,761 You're the most annoying person I've ever met. 22 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:23,931 I'm annoying? You criticize my behavior all the time. 23 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:28,170 "Sheldon, don't talk about your bowel movements over breakfast." 24 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,647 "Sheldon, when the president of the university... 25 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,606 ...is giving a eulogy at a funeral, don't yawn and point at your watch." 26 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,644 "Sheldon, don't throw away my shirts because they're ugly." 27 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,171 You're impossible. 28 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,202 That's it, I don't have to put up with this. 29 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:46,411 Actually, I have your signature on a roommate agreement that says you do. 30 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:50,167 Aww. Here's what I think of your roommate agreement. 31 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:51,526 (GASPS) 32 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,041 - You pick that up right now. - No. 33 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,282 Roommate agreement, section 27, paragraph 5: 34 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:02,326 "The roommate agreement, like the American flag, cannot touch the ground." 35 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,044 I don't care. 36 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:10,730 I don't have to do anything you say, because I don't think I wanna live here anymore. 37 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,642 - Where are you going? - To live with Penny... 38 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,325 ...not you, you crazy bastard. 39 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,488 - Crazy bastard? - Yes. 40 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,050 - Leonard, wait. - What? 41 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,690 Dobby the Elf dies in book seven. 42 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:55,767 Here you go. 43 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,770 - Great. Come on in. - What, you don't say thank you? 44 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,603 It's my suitcase. I lent it to you two years ago. 45 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,560 I should tell you I broke the wheel and the handle. 46 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,203 So is everyone from Bernadette's company going to Vegas? 47 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,131 No, just me, her, and a couple of the bigwigs. 48 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,044 It's part of a bonus she got. 49 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,368 Cool. Did she discover a cure for something? 50 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:23,645 Not exactly. They spent a ton of money developing this dandruff medication... 51 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:27,361 ...that had the side effect of horrible anal leakage. 52 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,807 Is there a good anal leakage? 53 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:39,089 Anyway, it was Bernie's idea to rebrand the stuff as a cure for constipation. 54 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:44,646 Way to make lemonade, you know, from around the corner where fudge is made. 55 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,730 - Hey, I got a favor to ask. - Sure. 56 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,605 My mom's been kind of an emotional wreck... 57 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,764 ...since that dentist she was dating dumped her. 58 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,810 Dumped her? What did he use, a forklift? 59 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:03,925 Sorry. 60 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,805 There's nothing funny about morbid obesity. 61 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,288 She's huge, it was funny. 62 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,846 Anyway, I was just hoping that maybe you could check in on her tomorrow night... 63 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,926 - ...make sure she's doing okay. - Dude, I'm a single man. 64 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,646 Saturday night is my party night. 65 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,687 Really, what do you got going on? 66 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:26,161 I don't know, maybe drive down to Hollywood... 67 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,641 ...hit a few hot spots, see if I can get lucky. 68 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,204 Tell me if this sounds familiar. Ahem. 69 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,003 You pay $15 to park, you stand on the sidewalk for an hour... 70 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,044 ...until you break down and give the bouncer 20 to let you in. 71 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,647 You push your way to the bar where you drink an $18 cosmopolitan. 72 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,282 Then you stare at a pretty girl and imagine your perfect life together. 73 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,290 Children, grandchildren. Meanwhile, she leaves with a guy... 74 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,881 ...who claims he wrote Beverly Hills Chihuahua. 75 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,721 Then you give up on love, go to Marie Callender's... 76 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:59,009 ...buy a pie and eat it in your car in the parking lot. 77 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,850 - What time should I be at your mother's? - I told her around 7. 78 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:11,528 I swear, that man is the most egotistical, insufferable human being I have ever met. 79 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,611 Yeah, but you two make such a cute couple. 80 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,929 Like Bert and Ernie. 81 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:22,528 You guys even teach me stuff about words and numbers. 82 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,171 Well, I've had it, I am done. 83 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,203 I can't live with him one more minute. 84 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,209 Wow, where are you gonna go? 85 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,323 Well, I was thinking here with you. 86 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,251 Oh. 87 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,646 Is that a problem? 88 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,446 No, no, no. It's great. 89 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,889 It's terrific. You know, I just can't help feel bad about Sheldon. 90 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,209 I mean, how's he gonna get by without you... 91 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,050 ...Ernie? 92 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,844 - He's got Amy now. - Yeah, he does... 93 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,560 - ...but it's not the same. - Why? 94 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,205 Um... 95 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,362 Well, all right, you know how in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince... 96 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:05,928 ...Ron didn't abandon Harry because Harry started dating Ron's sister? 97 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,771 Harry and Ginny get together? 98 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:17,722 Sorry, spoiler alert. My point is, as much as I want to live with you... 99 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,287 ...I can't do it knowing how much Sheldon needs you. 100 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,484 Please. The only thing he needs me for is to be his whipping boy. 101 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,484 His stooge, his doormat. 102 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,485 Well, you know what they say, if it ain't broke... 103 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:34,208 Wow, it sounds to me like you don't want us to live together. 104 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:39,804 No. No, no, I do. I do. It's just... It's a really big step. 105 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,482 Is it? We're together all the time. Financially, it makes great sense. 106 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,809 Can you think of one reason why we shouldn't do this? 107 00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:49,328 Well, um... 108 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,765 Heh. I'm just a little thirsty. 109 00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:59,330 I got nothing. 110 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,851 Great. I'll go get my stuff. 111 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:11,127 Okay. All right, don't freak out. You can make this work. 112 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:16,167 Oh. Could you clear off a shelf for me in the bathroom? I take a lot of medicine. 113 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,251 Oh, please, let some of it be Xanax. 114 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,011 MRS. WOLOWITZ: Are you ready for dessert? 115 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,131 No, thank you, Mrs. Wolowitz. 116 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:33,211 As is, I'm going to have to carry my stomach out of here... 117 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,761 ...like I'm a fireman rescuing an infant. 118 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:41,210 Oh, please, you're a tall glass of brown water. 119 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,124 - Have dessert. - I really couldn't. 120 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:49,041 But I've had a lovely time eating your brisket and hearing about the things... 121 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:52,210 ...you've had removed from your body over the years. 122 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,243 I didn't know you could have a cyst inside another cyst. 123 00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,281 The doctor said they were like Russian nesting dolls. 124 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:06,088 Well, if you have to go, how about I put a little doggie bag together for you? 125 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,049 That would be lovely, thank you. 126 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,964 (MRS. WOLOWITZ CRIES) 127 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,283 Mrs. Wolowitz... 128 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:16,486 ...are you okay? 129 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,006 Don't mind me. 130 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:21,921 I just cry when I'm lonely and have nothing to live for. 131 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:28,690 I... 132 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,368 I suppose I could stay for some dessert. 133 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,722 Great. You like chocolate chip cheesecake? 134 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,526 - Sure. - I'll make one. 135 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:43,402 One vintage Mr. Mxyzptlk action figure. 136 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:47,687 - That's Leonard's. - Children's toy. 137 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,969 One Star Trek: The Next Generation phaser. 138 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,247 That's Leonard's. 139 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,088 Children's toy. 140 00:08:55,600 --> 00:09:00,640 One Game of Thrones collector's edition Longclaw sword. 141 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,366 Leonard and I bought that together. 142 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,080 That's a bit of an ethical conundrum. 143 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,930 I'll keep it. 144 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,722 So, what's your plan moving forward? 145 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,288 I suppose I'll have to find and cultivate a new roommate. 146 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,244 What a task that will be. 147 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,922 Do you know how uncivilized Leonard was when I took him in? 148 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,842 - No. - It took me forever... 149 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,128 ...to get him on a bathroom schedule. 150 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,009 He would just go whenever the mood struck him. 151 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,243 - Like a dog boy. - Exactly. 152 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,603 What if you could find a roommate who was a scientist... 153 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,411 ...and already familiar and comfortable with your ways? 154 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,005 That would be ideal. 155 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:47,451 If a person like that existed, I would sign on, no further questions asked. 156 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:49,642 Great, here I am. 157 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,451 Wait. 158 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,529 Here who is where? 159 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:03,489 Me. Aren't I your perfect roommate? 160 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,604 - Um... - Think about it, Sheldon. 161 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,485 I'm not a stranger, we're intellectually compatible... 162 00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:12,968 ...I'm willing to chauffeur you around, and your personality quirks... 163 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:17,370 ...which others find abhorrent or rage-inducing, I find cute as a button. 164 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,329 What do you think? 165 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,131 Um... 166 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,931 Tell me one reason why this isn't a fantastic idea. 167 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,570 Um... 168 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,802 See? You can't. 169 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:39,402 I'm gonna go see if Leonard's room is big enough for my water bed. 170 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,890 Um... 171 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,131 Good buddy Leonard? Good buddy Leonard. 172 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,004 Good buddy Leonard? 173 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,324 - What do you want? - Hey, good buddy. 174 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:58,927 So I was just talking to Amy... 175 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:02,004 ...and she made me realize that this little dust-up... 176 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,601 ...between you and me is much ado about nothing. 177 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,844 - Is that so? - Yes. All is forgiven, so come back home. 178 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:12,487 I'll make you some soy hot chocolate and then I'll tell you about... 179 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:16,207 ...our exciting new devil-may-care bathroom policy. 180 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,485 Cut to the chase, Sheldon. 181 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:24,251 Okay. Amy has decided she wants to move in with me... 182 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,922 ...so I need you to come back home, you lovable scamp. 183 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:30,964 That's a lot of product. 184 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,564 - Hey. What's going on? - Get this. 185 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:37,128 Suddenly, Sheldon wants me back because Amy wants to move in with him. 186 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,288 Really? Interesting. 187 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,362 Well, too late, pal, I'm not going anywhere. 188 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:45,803 Penny and I are very happy living together. Isn't that right? 189 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,890 It's like the happiness won't ever leave the apartment. 190 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,842 Leonard, please, you know Amy moving in... 191 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,964 ...marks a level of intimacy our relationship isn't ready for. 192 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:59,523 Yes. That is a real thing. And it doesn't mean you don't care about each other... 193 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:03,884 ...it just means things are moving at a pace you're not comfortable with. And that's fine. 194 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,209 If he doesn't wanna live with her, he should tell her how he feels. 195 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,404 Maybe he doesn't know how to say it without hurting her feelings. 196 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,888 Feelings? Who am I, a hippie at a love-in? No. 197 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:18,125 The problem is she laid out a series of logical arguments that I couldn't refute. 198 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,051 - That is the worst, isn't it? - Yes. 199 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,208 I'm sorry, Sheldon. I can't help you. 200 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,768 Oh, spoiler alert: this door's about to slam in your face. 201 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:33,087 Oh, there you are. When do I get a key to our apartment? 202 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,690 Um... 203 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,490 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 204 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,166 - Hello? HOWARD: Hey. 205 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,489 - How'd it go last night with my mom? - Okay, I guess. 206 00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:56,841 What time did you leave? 207 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:58,201 (YAWNS) 208 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:02,006 Actually, I'm still here. 209 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:06,681 - What? You spent the night? - Yeah. 210 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,806 After dinner, we watched a rerun of Rockford Files... 211 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,446 ...and then she opened a bottle of cream sherry... 212 00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:17,571 ...and the next thing I know she was tucking me into your bed. 213 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,165 You wore my pajamas? 214 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:22,566 Mm-hm. 215 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:26,123 How do you sleep in these things? Silk pajamas on satin sheets? 216 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,091 I slid out of the bed like three times. 217 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,369 MRS. WOLOWITZ: Rajesh? You up? 218 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:33,846 You ready for breakfast? 219 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,684 Oh, boy, breakfast. 220 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,407 Okay, Raj, listen. You need to get out of there. 221 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,730 But I have a cream sherry hangover and I smell blintzes. 222 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:49,404 If you don't leave now, she'll use food and guilt to keep you there the rest of your life. 223 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:50,687 Oh, Howard, stop. 224 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,724 Trust me, you're not Jewish, that's how they get you. 225 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,724 You're being silly. I can leave whenever I want. 226 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,605 Oh, really? Where are your clothes and your shoes? 227 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,121 They're on the chair right over... 228 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,249 Oy vey. 229 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:13,406 Hello, homewrecker. 230 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:17,761 What did I do? 231 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,923 You gave Leonard somewhere to go. 232 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,408 Thanks to you, Amy's out buying his and hers bath towels. 233 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:27,321 Like I'd ever dry myself with something that has a possessive pronoun on it. 234 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,881 Okay, listen... 235 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,322 ...the truth is I don't want him living with me. 236 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:37,161 Great. Kick him out, break his heart, everybody wins. 237 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,441 No, I don't wanna break his heart, I love him. This is happening too fast. 238 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:42,721 You think this is fast? 239 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:46,447 It is just a matter of time before I see Amy's leg stubble in my shower. 240 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,649 Yeah, and I've seen those legs. You might wanna get some Drano. 241 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:56,089 Hold on. If you don't want to live with Leonard, why don't you just tell him? 242 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,011 Well, you know how he is. He's sensitive and emotional. 243 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,646 That's because he drinks too much soy milk. 244 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,891 I don't know what else we can do but tell them the truth. 245 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,931 I suppose there's no choice but to face the crying... 246 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:13,170 ...angry accusations, and the high-pitched wails of despair. 247 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:16,409 Yeah. And who knows how Amy will react. 248 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:21,801 Here's some more ice. 249 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,530 - Thanks. - What were we thinking? 250 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,451 We should have just done it the regular way. 251 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:33,769 Those Chinese acrobats in Cirque Du Soleil made it look so easy. 252 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,686 Honestly, if I could bend that far, what would I need with you? 253 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,323 If you could bend that far, you'd be doing us both a favor. 254 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,165 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 255 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,491 Hey, Raj, what's up? 256 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,644 You were right. I can't get out of here. 257 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,165 - You're still at my mother's? - I'm trapped. 258 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,569 My clothes have been in the laundry all day, and she hid my keys. 259 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:07,970 I think they might be in her bra because she jingles when she walks. 260 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:09,681 What do I do? 261 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,850 Hey, you wanted a woman in your life, now you got one. 262 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,244 Come on, Howard, help me. 263 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:19,286 MRS. WOLOWITZ: Rajesh, tatellah, I ran you a bath! 264 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:24,084 Oh, my God, she's not gonna bathe me, is she? 265 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,050 Gee, I wish I could tell you no. 266 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,487 All right, well, thanks again for helping me out. 267 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,205 Howard... 268 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:43,049 - Should we go back and rescue him? - Too late. We'll see him at his bar mitzvah. 269 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,007 Here you go. 270 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,443 I picked up the Chinese food just the way Leonard used to. 271 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,165 - Is it kung pao chicken? - Yes. 272 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,050 - Brown rice, not white rice? - Yes. 273 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,203 - Spicy mustard from the Korean deli? - Yes. 274 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,687 - I did good, right? - Yes. 275 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:05,121 Amy, are you worried that us living together... 276 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,721 ...will take the mystery out of our relationship? 277 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,089 - No. - Yeah, why would you? 278 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,850 Oh, and check this out. 279 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:17,568 I took the liberty of scripting a new outgoing voicemail message for both of us. 280 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,004 "Hello, this is Sheldon." 281 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,247 "And this is Amy." 282 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:25,925 "We're not home right now." 283 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,771 "'Cause we out dropping science, son." 284 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,888 - "Leave a message." - "Leave a message." 285 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,803 Beep. Heh. 286 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,009 You can't live here. 287 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,243 What? Why? Is it the message? 288 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:54,002 I only used urban slang to sound tough so people wouldn't break in. 289 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,406 It's not the message. 290 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:59,082 Well, what is it then? I did everything just the way you like it. 291 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,965 - You did. - Then what the hell, Sheldon? 292 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:08,929 We have been going out for over two years, and I've been nothing but patient with you. 293 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:13,091 I watch your dopey space movies, I signed your ridiculous contracts. 294 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,802 I stopped wearing lip gloss because you said it made my mouth look slippery. 295 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,440 I am the best girlfriend you're ever gonna have. 296 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,246 You give me one good reason why I can't live here. 297 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,370 It's Penny's fault. 298 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,248 - What? - She doesn't wanna live with Leonard... 299 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:34,001 ...so he has to come live here again. She's the snake in our garden. 300 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,049 She's the reason we can't be happy. 301 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,963 - Hey, Ames. - Yeah, "Hey, Ames" nothing. 302 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,925 I was all set to move in with Sheldon and I can't because... 303 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,924 - ...you don't wanna live with Leonard. LEONARD: What? 304 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,801 Sheldon, what did you say? 305 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,004 The truth. You don't wanna live with Leonard and you know it. 306 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,522 - Since when don't you want to live with me? - You decided to move in... 307 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:02,645 - ...without even asking me if I was ready. - I think we should talk about that. 308 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,010 Since you love the truth so much... 309 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,562 ...why not tell Amy you don't wanna live with her instead of blaming me? 310 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,047 I thought we were talking about the other thing. 311 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:16,491 - You're a coward. - Well, the evidence does support that. 312 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:23,010 Come on, Amy. Let's go drink wine and talk about what jerks our boyfriends are. 313 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,727 You know what would show them? I should move in here with you. 314 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,609 Um... 315 00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:45,569 So you wanna catch up on some Walking Dead? 316 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:47,607 Okay. 317 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,402 Have you seen the one where Lori dies? 318 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,245 No. 319 00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:02,651 Or maybe she doesn't, let's find out. 320 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,803 MRS. WOLOWITZ: Where are you going? - No!