1 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:06,401 BARNADETTE: What you doing? 2 00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:09,564 HOWARD: You said clean up. I'm cleaning up, heh. 3 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:13,322 You can't just throw everything in the closet. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:16,484 You can tell me what to do or you can tell me how to do it... 5 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:19,849 ...but you can't do both. This isn't sex. 6 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,644 Well, what if someone looks in there? 7 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,724 They're coming over for dinner, no one will look in the closet. 8 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,203 You don't know that. What if someone's looking for the bathroom? 9 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:31,407 It could work out. 10 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:34,484 For all we know, there's a toilet in there somewhere. 11 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,491 Fine. After tonight, we need to get a handle on this mess. 12 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:40,728 We should show the closet to Sheldon. 13 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,166 Why? 14 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,846 Ha. Are you kidding? He's like a savant at organizing. 15 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,207 Everything in his apartment has a label on it... 16 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:51,246 ...including his label maker, which has a label that says "label maker." 17 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:56,849 If you look really close at that label-maker label, you'll see a label that says "label." 18 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,769 No, he's our guest. We can't ask him to straighten our closet. 19 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:02,809 No, we wouldn't ask him. 20 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:08,285 We'd just show him the closet and let the goblins in his head take it from there. 21 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,361 HOWARD: Hey, guys, come on in. 22 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,171 AMY: Hi. - Ooh, it smells good. 23 00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:17,210 Thanks. Sheldon, I know tonight's the night you eat Thai food. 24 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:20,648 I went to the Asian market, got the ingredients, made it from scratch. 25 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,723 Oh, you shouldn't have. 26 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,166 It was my pleasure. 27 00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:26,482 No, you really shouldn't have. 28 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,683 I brought my own. 29 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,164 You stopped and got him takeout? 30 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,682 I had no choice. He kept kicking the back of my seat. 31 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,922 Sheldon, I've been cooking all day. 32 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,447 Well, now don't you feel silly? 33 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:43,566 Show him the closet. 34 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,567 These spring rolls are amazing. Good job, Bernadette. 35 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,526 That's the takeout that Sheldon brought. 36 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:25,001 I'm sure they wouldn't have tasted nearly as good if I hadn't tried your food first. 37 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:33,649 Howard, did you want your clothes arranged seasonally or by color? 38 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,611 - Color's fine. - Wrong, they'll be arranged seasonally. 39 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,481 Aren't you gonna spend a little time with Amy? 40 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:42,091 Oh, it's okay, I'm used to it. 41 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:46,689 The other day at Whole Foods, he spent an hour optimizing the cheese aisle. 42 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:47,966 And some thanks I got. 43 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:51,567 The assistant manager chased me out with an artisanal salami. 44 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,041 His quirks just make you love him more. 45 00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,725 Someone please agree with me. 46 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,802 Come on. It's getting late. Time to go. 47 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,691 Oh! Five more minutes. 48 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,409 That's what you said five minutes ago. 49 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,688 Amy and Penny are already in the car, move it. 50 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:19,043 How come I never get to do anything I wanna do? 51 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,363 If he really wants to stay and finish, I can give him a ride home. 52 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,444 Please, Leonard. He said it's okay. 53 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,523 Sheldon, it's... Wait, I can go home without you? Bye. 54 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,566 Howard, I have a few questions. 55 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,371 I found three bowling pins. 56 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:40,730 Now, do you juggle these or are you missing seven? 57 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,881 - Juggle. - You health nuts kill me. 58 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,050 Oh, my God, it's beautiful! 59 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,931 And look, you found the juggling pins I hid. 60 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,004 Now, a couple more items. 61 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,164 Howard, I found this letter from your dad in a box. 62 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:03,211 - Based on content, it could either be filed... - Wait, you opened this? 63 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,364 I had to find out if it's personal correspondence or memorabilia. 64 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,126 - Based on the content... - I couldn't be less interested. 65 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,723 Now, come on, I'll take you home. 66 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:18,169 - Don't you want to know what's in it? - If I did, I would've opened it years ago. 67 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,766 The closet looks great. Let's get out of here. 68 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,925 Can I bring this box of extra shirt buttons to sort on the ride? 69 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,166 - Do whatever you want. - Thanks. 70 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:32,207 Oh! 71 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,648 Great party. 72 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,802 When I first met Howard, he'd pull his scrotum out of his shorts and say: 73 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,361 "Oh! I sat in gum." 74 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:50,561 What is your point? 75 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:55,362 It's kind of weird how grown up he is now. Happily married, throwing dinner parties. 76 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:59,724 Really? You couldn't just say that? You had to tell the scrotum story? 77 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,362 LEONARD: Trying to paint a picture. 78 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:09,329 It was a nice change of pace, not eating takeout around a coffee table. 79 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:13,769 We could throw a dinner party too. Maybe even ask everyone to get dressed up. 80 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:17,242 Sure. Just, when you say "dressed up," you mean nice clothes, right? 81 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,210 Not like capes and tights and crap. 82 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,566 Yeah. 83 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,489 - Although... - No. 84 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:36,689 - Howie, you okay? - Yeah, I just couldn't sleep. 85 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,525 I told you you shouldn't have espresso after dinner. 86 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:43,366 I know the little cups make you feel big, but it's not worth it. 87 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,445 It's this stupid letter. 88 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,411 - Did you read it? - No. 89 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,611 - You must be curious. - Of course I'm curious. 90 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:58,402 I haven't seen the man since I was a little kid. 91 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,444 And a letter shows up on my 18th birthday. 92 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:02,726 What's that about? 93 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,406 Then why don't you read it? 94 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,444 Maybe he apologizes or explains why he left. 95 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,364 He abandoned me and my mother. 96 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:14,287 Why does he deserve a chance to explain anything? 97 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,124 I get that. 98 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,729 So, what do you wanna do with it? 99 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,931 Something I should've done a long time ago. 100 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,764 Really? Are you sure? 101 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,410 Yep. 102 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:37,446 Feel better? 103 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,165 I do. 104 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,527 (SMOKE ALARM BEEPING) 105 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:44,280 Great. 106 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,569 Neither one of us is tall enough to reach that. 107 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,042 I can't believe he set it on fire. 108 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,931 Yeah, just seeing that letter really freaked him out. 109 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:03,608 And he was already having a tough day. He accidentally wore my pants to work. 110 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:12,321 I don't know why he was upset. They were bigger on him than me. 111 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,601 I'm really curious what's in that letter. 112 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,888 Me too, but I guess now we'll never know. 113 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,367 You said Sheldon read it. Why not ask him? 114 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:25,605 I can't do that. What kind of wife would I be if I didn't respect my husband's privacy? 115 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,162 What if I ask and you happen to be in the room? 116 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,970 - That works. - Okay. 117 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,765 (SIGHS) 118 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,405 Blech! 119 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:58,486 It's like cleaning out the entire building's belly button. 120 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,441 - Hey, Sheldon. SHELDON: Oh, hello. 121 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,045 What can I do for you ladies? 122 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:08,087 - You have something we want. - Oh, dear. 123 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:12,811 My mother warned me this is what happens to pretty boys in the big city. 124 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,248 No, we just want information. 125 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:20,086 Oh. Oh, I've got that in spades. Ravage me. 126 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,001 We heard you read the letter from Howard's father. 127 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,924 - I did. - What did it say? 128 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,250 I can't tell you that. 129 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:32,411 I'm bound by closet organizer-organizee confidentiality. 130 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,930 Sheldon, that's not a real thing. 131 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,880 Neither is the rule that you have to hold your girlfriend's hand at the movies. 132 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,208 But that doesn't stop you from pawing at me... 133 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:45,364 ...like you're a bear and I'm a trash can full of sweets. 134 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,686 Why do you even care? Just tell us what it says. 135 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:54,242 Control over the information contained in that letter belongs to Howard. 136 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,368 By happenstance, I came to know it. 137 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,649 That doesn't give me the right to disseminate it freely. 138 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,805 The letter was found in Bernadette's closet. Doesn't that count for something? 139 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,282 Are you pointing out that California is a community-property state... 140 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:13,122 ...and since Howard and Bernadette are married, intellectual property in the letter... 141 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,641 ...is jointly owned by the two spouses? 142 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,809 Yeah, obviously. 143 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:25,880 Well played. 144 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:30,164 Sometimes I don't give you enough credit, Penny. 145 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,928 Dude, you made the right choice coming to me for help with this party. 146 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,401 Actually, all I did was invite you. 147 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,603 Well, put your mind at ease. 148 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,367 I'm here to make sure your dinner party kicks Howard's dinner party's ass. 149 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:48,211 Now, the first thing we need is a theme. 150 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:52,649 I'm thinking, ah, turn-of-the-century Moulin Rouge. 151 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,529 I'm thinking you need a testosterone patch. 152 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,202 Penny and I just wanna do something low-key. 153 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:05,170 You know, cocktails, light jazz music, hors d'oeuvres. 154 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:11,606 So your theme is "I saw a rerun of Mad Men and bought crab puffs from Trader Joe's"? 155 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,488 I'd hate to miss that. Ahem. 156 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,042 Hey, where have you been? 157 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:20,850 Oh, Leonard. 158 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,809 If I was prone to sarcasm... 159 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:27,727 ...I'd say I was pulling off a major heist at the Museum of Laundry Baskets. 160 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:33,763 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10. 161 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,689 I meant, golly, Sheldon, you've been gone a long time. 162 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:42,044 Oh, well, I was waylaid by Penny, Bernadette and Amy. 163 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,528 They made me reveal confidential information about Howard's father. 164 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,570 - What information? - I can't tell you that. 165 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:52,930 I'm bound by closet organizer-organizee confidentiality. 166 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,204 Come on, we won't tell anyone. 167 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,170 Sorry, badgering me won't work. What you should have said is: 168 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,926 "It's pointless to keep this a secret. Penny will tell." 169 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,321 - Fine, then that. - All right, I'll tell you. 170 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:08,721 My goodness, everyone's on their game today. 171 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:15,647 This is really fun. 172 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,087 Yeah, it's nice to get dressed up once in a while. 173 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,770 And the hors d'oeuvres are delightful. 174 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,082 - As is the company. - Aw. 175 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,726 My shirt is itchy, and I wish I were dead. 176 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,884 (UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) 177 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:31,050 Hey, everybody, before Howard gets here, let's all just agree... 178 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,248 - ...to not bring up the letter. - Of course. 179 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,765 PENNY: Sure. AMY: Absolutely. 180 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,004 If I say yes, can we turn off that Latin orgy music? 181 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,962 It's ridiculous that we still have to walk up all these flights of stairs. 182 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:47,045 - Yeah, try doing it in heels. - I am. 183 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,725 Wait. There's something I have to tell you. 184 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,407 - What? - I know what was in your dad's letter. 185 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,921 Sheldon, I swear to God I'm gonna kill you! 186 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,844 Hey! 187 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:07,880 I made him tell us. 188 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,529 "Us"? Who else knows? 189 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:11,806 - I know. - Me too. 190 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,047 Same here. 191 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,725 Shame on all of you. 192 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,407 You know too. 193 00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,881 Couldn't leave him with one friend, could you? 194 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:24,049 So everybody knows what's in that letter except for me? 195 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,010 Yes, it's six against one. Stand down, sir. 196 00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:29,806 How could you do this? 197 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,361 I'm sorry. 198 00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:34,723 - If you want, we could tell you. - I don't want to know. 199 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,930 I mean... 200 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,969 I do, but... 201 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,849 I gotta go. 202 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,251 Used me as a human shield? 203 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:50,609 I panicked. 204 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,728 He looked taller than usual. 205 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,126 BERNADETTE: Howard? 206 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,486 In here. 207 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,160 Sorry. 208 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,084 I should've left it alone. 209 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,642 It's okay. I'm sorry I ran off like that. 210 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,890 What are you looking at? 211 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,361 Pictures of my dad and me when I was a kid. 212 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,085 - That's nice. - I gotta tell you... 213 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,925 ...as angry as I am at Sheldon for blabbing... 214 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:23,085 ...he did a hell of a job organizing this closet. 215 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:24,887 Look at this. 216 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:29,329 "Photos of Wolowitz Family Before Father Left Forever." 217 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:35,650 Look. Check out 9-year-old Howie with cornrows. 218 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,964 Neither race was happy to see me with those. 219 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:45,771 Think you can take a break? 220 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,207 - Why? - Got a little surprise for you. 221 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,771 Come on. 222 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,804 Oh, honey... 223 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,964 ...I am in no mood to have sex tonight. 224 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,882 I mean, I'll lay there if you absolutely have to have it, but... 225 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,087 Oh. 226 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,649 What are you guys doing here? 227 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,327 You weren't sure whether you wanted to know what was in your dad's letter... 228 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,006 ...so we came up with kind of a cool solution. 229 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:13,801 Oh, yeah? What's that? 230 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,246 It's simple, really. 231 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,483 It occurred to me that knowing and not knowing... 232 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:23,680 ...can be achieved by creating a macroscopic example of quantum superposition... 233 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:29,887 ...the principle that a physical system exists partially in all its possible states at once. 234 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,929 We were all thinking it, really. 235 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:36,847 It was kind of the elephant in the room, so... 236 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,965 Anyway, um, I realized if we each present you... 237 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,646 ...with an account of what your father wrote to you... 238 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:49,725 ...only one of which is true, and we don't tell you which one it is... 239 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:54,044 ...you will forever be in a state of epistemic ambivalence. 240 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:58,006 Yeah, and I said if it wasn't epistemic, we might as well not do it. 241 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,724 Sit down, honey. 242 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,291 - Raj, you're up. - Okay, um, ahem. 243 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,607 It was a card for your 18th birthday. 244 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:14,886 Inside it said, "Happy birthday, Howard. I love you. Dad." 245 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,804 Oh, and it was a "Far Side" card... 246 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,851 ...the one where the frog has its tongue stuck to the underside of an airplane. 247 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,802 Thinks it's a fly. 248 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,403 Silly frog. So funny. 249 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:31,687 Sheldon? 250 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,171 (CLEARS THROAT) 251 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,970 It was a map... 252 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:39,722 ...leading to the lost treasure of famous pirate "One-Eyed Willy." 253 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,210 Nice try. That's the plot for Goonies. 254 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,168 - Told you. - Don't. 255 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,166 Amy? 256 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,569 You didn't know it... 257 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:58,606 ...but your father was in the auditorium at your high school graduation... 258 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,127 ...and he cried because he was so proud of you. 259 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,161 Really? 260 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:06,927 Or that's complete poppycock which Amy made up. It still could be the map. 261 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,121 Penny? 262 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:15,406 It was a letter explaining that your dad wasn't who he said he was. 263 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,688 Eventually his other life caught up to him... 264 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,764 ...and the only way to keep you and your mom safe was to leave. 265 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,843 I would like to change mine. 266 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:29,809 The pirate's name was Peg-Leg Antoine. 267 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,090 Now it's completely different from Goonies. 268 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,524 - No, it's not. - Don't. 269 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,644 Okay, my turn. 270 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:44,129 Your dad wrote about how family is the most important thing... 271 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,931 ...and that you should never throw it away like he did. 272 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,605 Hmm. 273 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,290 Bernadette? 274 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:57,283 In the envelope was a picture of your dad holding you the day you were born. 275 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:02,566 On the back he wrote, "Howard, my son, my greatest gift." 276 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:12,766 You okay? 277 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,410 Yeah. 278 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,125 I'm terrific. 279 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,329 So...? 280 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,687 Which one do you think it is... 281 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:27,730 ...matey? 282 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,048 Actually, I don't wanna know. 283 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:36,966 I want all of them to be true. 284 00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:38,360 Well, one of them is. 285 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,409 That's pretty cool. 286 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,684 Thank you, guys. 287 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:46,250 Hey, it's still early. Why don't we go back and have that party? 288 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,289 - Yeah. - Okay. 289 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,600 Yeah, surprisingly... 290 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:55,446 ...the letter from your father wasn't the most interesting thing in the closet. 291 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,729 Bernadette's diary has some saucy passages. 292 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,609 - Sheldon, don't you dare. - Nothing to worry about. 293 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,330 Your secret's safe with me. 294 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,249 That's more like it. 295 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:12,088 Although copyright law would allow me to quote snippets in the context of a review. 296 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,002 (UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) 297 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,365 I'm glad you're feeling better. 298 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:28,806 Me too. 299 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,561 But if I'd known we were gonna be dancing, I would've wore my flats. 300 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,488 - Well, this turned out pretty well, huh? - Yeah, I think so. 301 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:41,884 I agree. That is, if you've never been to or heard of a party before. 302 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,168 If you'd let me pierce your brain with a hot needle in the right place... 303 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,408 ...you'd be happy all the time. 304 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:57,123 Penny, I have a couple of questions about your closet. 305 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:01,245 Is there any reason you're keeping this dead goldfish? 306 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,890 Damn, I forgot to feed him. 307 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,609 And that I had him. 308 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,411 Well, now, did you also have a dog? 309 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:15,690 Because I found what appears to be a battery-operated chew toy... 310 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,446 PENNY: Party's over! Party's over!