1 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,926 Sheldon, it's not a great time! What do you want? 2 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,731 Hello to you, too. 3 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,927 I'm sorry, but this is important. 4 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:22,645 What is it? 5 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:27,283 Back to the Future 2 was in the Back to the Future 3 case, 6 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,966 and Back to the Future 3 was, get this, 7 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,691 in the Back to the Future 2 case. 8 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,291 So? 9 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:39,321 So, did you do that, or am I in the house with an intruder? 10 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:45,088 Sheldon, I got to go inside. It's getting rough out here. 11 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,803 You're dodging the question. I knew it was you. 12 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,885 - What was that? - What was what? 13 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:57,565 This isn't a very good connection, 14 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,690 But it sounded like someone just released a Kraken. 15 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,489 Okay, I'm hanging up now. 16 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:07,210 You know there's no such thing as a... 17 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:11,849 No! 18 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,610 Penny! Penny! Penny! 19 00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:19,651 What's the matter? 20 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,770 Um... 21 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:25,203 Well, I was worried that you might be missing Leonard. 22 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,961 And that might be causing you to have bad dreams, 23 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,407 like the kind you'd get if you watched Clash of the Titans 24 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,403 right before you went to bed. 25 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,928 Sweetie, did you have a bad dream? 26 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,522 - To be honest, I did. - Aw. 27 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:46,123 Back to the Future 2 was in the Back to the Future 3 case. 28 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:47,964 Leonard did it. 29 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,441 - Good night. - No, wait. 30 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:56,286 Perhaps I should sleep here, so you don't miss Leonard as much, 31 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,250 'cause you're being kind of a baby about it. 32 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,247 You know what? That would make me feel better. 33 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,084 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 34 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,200 Good night. 35 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:45,048 I think you'd be pleased to hear that this morning in the parking garage, 36 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,931 I saw this oil stain on the ground that was shaped just like 37 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:51,926 my ex-girlfriend, Lucy, and I didn't get upset at all. 38 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,082 I'm proud of you. 39 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,891 Well, you should be, 'cause she was looking good. 40 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,888 Dear Lord! You're an astronomer. 41 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,886 Although you may have earthly woes, get your mind back on the stars. 42 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:08,203 Gee, even the lowly dung beetle chooses to plot its course 43 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,647 - by using the Milky Way. - Is that true? 44 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,451 Everything I say is true. 45 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,921 Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys 46 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:20,404 eating feces, living in feces and making little balls out of feces. 47 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:24,042 So, you know, pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle 48 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,725 you want to embrace. 49 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,808 Come on, you can talk to girls now. 50 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,008 It shouldn't be hard for you to meet someone new. 51 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,846 How can I meet someone new when everywhere I look, I see Lucy's face? 52 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,891 Tell me you don't see her smile in the crust of this chicken pot pie. 53 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,522 Would you stop it! 54 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:46,881 Now, listen to me. 55 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,447 There's a welcome party for incoming post-docs tonight. 56 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:54,162 Go to it and meet someone who isn't made of grease or pie. 57 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,403 You think you're so cool because your wife is a person? 58 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,084 Look, Bernie's at a neuroscience conference with Amy. 59 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,081 - I'll go with you. - You would do that for me? 60 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,646 Of course. You're my friend. I want you to be happy. 61 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:09,847 Thanks. 62 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:13,203 Oh, Sheldon, since Amy's out of town, would you like to join us? 63 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,403 I want you to be happy, too, 64 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,040 but not enough to do anything about it. 65 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:26,405 Howie, stop. I can't talk like that. Amy's right here. 66 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:31,168 Sheldon, stop. For the last time, I will not bring home bed bugs. 67 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,884 The hotel's nice. There's a pool, a gym, 68 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,286 the bar looks like fun. 69 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:40,126 Because I looked in the bed, and there are no bugs. 70 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,762 I love you, too. If I don't talk to you before you go to sleep, 71 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:47,003 - I'll meet you in dreamland. - Good night. 72 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:51,083 No, I will not consider sleeping in my garment bag. 73 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,528 Penny, did you ever wonder how Starfleet captains... 74 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,250 No. 75 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,762 Well, now that I've piqued your interest, 76 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,402 welcome to the exciting world of 3D chess. 77 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,761 Why don't you just admit you only want to play this game 78 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,247 because you always play it with Leonard and you miss him? 79 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,886 You overestimate his significance in my life. 80 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,166 Hm... 81 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:22,406 Do I miss how he makes a face on my toaster waffle with syrup? 82 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:23,891 No. 83 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:28,684 Do I miss the way he fixes the zipper on my jacket when it gets stuck? 84 00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:30,490 I don't think so. 85 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,368 Do I miss how we say good night to each other 86 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,291 through the walls of our bedroom using Morse Code? 87 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,364 Okay, I get it, I get it. You are an emotionless robot. 88 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,443 Well, I try. 89 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,440 All right, let's just get this stupid game over with. 90 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,523 - Great. I'll go first. - Okay. 91 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,160 By the way, how are you with zippers? 92 00:05:53,184 --> 00:05:54,366 - Why? - Well, I really need 93 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,763 to go to the bathroom, and this one's gone all cattywampus. 94 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:05,210 Wow, your work on jellyfish neural nets sounds so interesting. 95 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,921 It is. You can download my paper off the university server. 96 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:12,289 I will. You can download my paper on the Van Allen Belts 97 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,444 - from the university server as well. - I will. 98 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:18,761 All right. 99 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:34,967 How'd it go? 100 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:36,969 Well, if you like dry, factual statements 101 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,642 interspersed with painful moments of silence, it was bananas. 102 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:45,131 Check it out. Mrs. Davis from Human Resources is here. 103 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,886 She's probably on the lookout for sexual harassment. 104 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,965 Oh, great. There go my chances of being sexually harassed. 105 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:56,641 I heard her husband left her for a hot, young undergrad. 106 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,371 That's so much better than the old, ugly ones. 107 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,688 Mr. Wolowitz, Dr. Koothrappali. 108 00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:09,411 Mrs. Davis, nice to see you. 109 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,881 You know, I recently read a fascinating article 110 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:17,080 - on infidelity among penguins. - Okay. 111 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,925 So if the fact that your husband left you 112 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:23,203 makes you feel unattractive, just remember, penguins get cheated on, 113 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,521 and they're adorable. 114 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,365 It was better when you couldn't talk to women. 115 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:44,960 I was thinking of going to the lecture 116 00:07:44,984 --> 00:07:46,683 on posterior cingulate cortex lesions 117 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,729 in the formation of autobiographical memory. 118 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,848 Oh, brain lesions are fascinating. 119 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,810 Unless they're yours, then they're a drag. 120 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,400 To the advancement of science. 121 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,330 And to the sick and dying who make it possible. 122 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:04,689 This is fun. We never really get to talk shop with Penny around. 123 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:06,480 We usually just end up talking about boys. 124 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,921 Which is fine, but it's nice to mix it up 125 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,650 with a little intellectual conversation. 126 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,286 From the two gentlemen at the bar. 127 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:16,284 Oh, my gosh, boys bought us drinks! Boys bought us drinks! 128 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,330 Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. 129 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,127 - Be cool. - You be cool! 130 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:26,523 Guys are hitting on us, and not just to get to Penny. 131 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,323 You're right. Thank you! 132 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:38,771 - Oh! Bad move. - Really? Why? 133 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,924 My queen can now take your rook from below. 134 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,803 So that means I lose, right? It's over! 135 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,247 If I make this move... 136 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,491 But I won't because we're having too much fun. 137 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:59,169 - Okay, let's take a break. - We're all out of alcohol. 138 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:00,924 I wasn't going to get alcohol. 139 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,368 Gosh, I wonder what Leonard's doing right now. I miss him so much. 140 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,888 Well, if you'd like, we could call him. 141 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:16,565 I mean that you could call him. 142 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:20,486 As I've explained, the absence of my friends does not cause me pain. 143 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,642 As rock and roll bad boy Paul Simon once said, 144 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:26,725 "I am a rock. I am an iiiisland." 145 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,407 - I'm calling him. - Oh, goodie! Put him on speakerphone! 146 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,006 Excuse me, ladies, but my pants are buzzing. 147 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:48,002 North Sea, how can I "kelp" you? 148 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,968 - Leonard? - Penny? 149 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,248 Hey, it's Penny. Everybody say "Hi" to Penny. 150 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,090 Hi, Penny! 151 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,601 Ha! Sounds like you're having a good time. 152 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,366 Best time of my life! 153 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:07,331 - Isn't it 5:30 in the morning there? - Is it? 154 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:10,723 Hey, everybody, it's 5:30 in the morning! 155 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:17,049 Okay, well, we were just calling you because we were missing you. 156 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,362 - Iceberg! - Oh! Hang on. 157 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,729 - Are you in danger? - No, it's a drinking game. 158 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,565 Whenever we see an iceberg, we take a shot! 159 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:29,008 Berg! Berg! Berg! Berg! Berg! Berg! 160 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:33,129 Leonard? Leonard? 161 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,926 I cannot believe we were missing that jerk. 162 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:39,683 You were. 163 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:46,410 So what happened? How'd it go? 164 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:49,321 It's fine. I thanked them again and let them know we're not available. 165 00:10:49,345 --> 00:10:53,251 So I can drink this without having to give up the goodies? 166 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,641 Yes, it's all cool. 167 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:59,765 Although, if you wanted to talk to one of them, no one would blame you. 168 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,365 And why would no one blame me? 169 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,766 I don't know what I'm saying. 170 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:09,970 Well, it sounds like you're saying that I could do better than Sheldon. 171 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,248 Boy, these drinks are strong! 172 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:17,965 Oh, Mama, I'm gonna be hugging the toilet tonight! 173 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,606 No, tell me. I want to know what you meant by that. 174 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,127 I just meant that you're not married, 175 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:31,285 and your boyfriend's kind of... Sheldon. 176 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:36,604 And your husband is extremely Howard. What's your point? 177 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:41,407 Sorry, I have no point. That was a stupid thing to say. 178 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:43,528 Can we please just go back to having a nice time? 179 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:47,088 We could, but unfortunately my brain is lesion-free 180 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,847 and I remember that rotten thing you just said about my sweet baboo. 181 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,844 Come on, I apologize. Can we please just let it go? 182 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,124 - Sure. - Thanks. 183 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,847 Your husband's weird and his clothes are ridiculous. 184 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,046 I can't believe it! All this time I've been doing nothing 185 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:10,050 but sit around and miss that guy. And you know what the worst part is? 186 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:15,047 That you're having to process your emotional pain without vodka? 187 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:20,930 No. 188 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:23,005 Yeah. 189 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,524 But you know what the second-worst part is? 190 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:31,009 - He does not miss me at all. - Allow me to comfort you. 191 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,686 At least you've got your health. 192 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,808 Really? That's it? That's comforting? 193 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,051 Um... 194 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:46,002 In a hundred years, you'll both be dead and it won't matter? 195 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,888 No! Come on! You're supposed to say, "Of course he misses you. 196 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,811 The only reason he's partying is to cover up his pain." 197 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,401 Oh, no, I don't think that's true at all. 198 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:00,406 This is ridiculous. 199 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,961 Why am I upset just because he's off having a good time? 200 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:07,728 Well, perhaps you're obsessively picturing him 201 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:11,327 engaged in drunken coitus with another woman. 202 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,366 Is that it? Did I get it right? 203 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,365 Okay, that's great. You can stop trying to make me feel better now. 204 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,045 Actually, I can't. 205 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:27,562 Before Leonard left, he made me promise that I'd take care of you. 206 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,166 - He did? - Yes. 207 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,721 Oh! That's really sweet. 208 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:36,726 Plus, if I do a good job, he said he'd bring me back a sailor's cap. 209 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,169 Well, now I miss him even more. 210 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,962 Well, if it's any consolation, I'm sure Leonard's tormented 211 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:51,081 every moment he's away from your warm embrace and cherry lips. 212 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,366 - Thanks. - Oh! Seriously? 213 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,885 - Excuse me, Mrs. Davis? - What? 214 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,930 I'd like to apologize for being insensitive. 215 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,286 And for possibly making penguins seem like jerks, 216 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,603 because 99 percent of them are stand-up guys. 217 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,001 Forget about it. 218 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,601 You know, you and I... you and I have a lot in common. 219 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,728 - Is that right? - Oh, yes. I... 220 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,526 I, too, am in the throes of heartbreak. 221 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:27,285 Okay, fine, I'll tell you about it. 222 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:32,806 Here is a hot beverage to comfort you. 223 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:37,367 It's in a to-go cup. Make of that what you will. 224 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,006 Come on. It's still early. Let's do something. 225 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:48,569 Well, I have been toying around with an idea for 4D chess. 226 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,929 - How about we just talk? - All right. 227 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:53,570 - In 4D chess... - No. 228 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,329 Come on, let's talk about our lives. 229 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,323 Tell me something about you I don't know. 230 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,686 I own nine pairs of pants. 231 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,089 Okay, that's a good start, 232 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,521 but I was thinking maybe something a little more personal. 233 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,195 - I see. - Hm. 234 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:19,042 I own nine pairs of underpants. 235 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:23,161 How about I go first? 236 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:26,847 But I don't want to know how many underpants you own. 237 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,129 Although, based on the floor of your bedroom, I'd say it's a thousand. 238 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:34,370 Okay, look, here's something people do not know about me. 239 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,443 When I first moved out to LA, 240 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,080 I did a topless scene in a low-budget horror movie 241 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,368 about a killer gorilla. 242 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:43,124 After I did it, I felt so ashamed. 243 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:46,204 Thankfully, that thing never came out. 244 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,408 I've seen that. 245 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:52,609 Yeah. Serial Apeist. 246 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:57,011 Howard found it online the day we met you. 247 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,686 - Oh, God. - I mean, it was literally 248 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,490 the moment you walked out the door. 249 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,721 But I see the type of personal revelations you're going for. 250 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:11,564 Okay, here's one I thought I'd take to the grave. 251 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:12,926 Okay. 252 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:19,485 A while back, YouTube changed its user interface 253 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:24,680 from a star-based rating system to a thumbs-up rating system. 254 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:29,164 I tell people I'm okay with it, but I'm really not. 255 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:38,047 - That's your big revelation? - Yes. 256 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,047 Whoo! I feel ten pounds lighter. 257 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,763 Okay, you know what? I give up. I'm going to bed. 258 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,282 Here's something else you don't know about me: 259 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:52,643 - You just hurt my feelings. - What did I do? 260 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:56,009 I opened up and shared something deeply upsetting to me, 261 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,168 and you treated it as if it were nothing. 262 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:03,645 - I didn't think it was a big deal. - It is to me, that's the point. 263 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,120 Sheldon, you are right. I'm really sorry. 264 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,966 - I should've known better. - Your apology is accepted. 265 00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:16,329 Thank you. How about a hug? 266 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:19,086 - How about a hearty handshake? - Come on. 267 00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:27,887 Now I know how you felt getting mauled by that sex-crazed gorilla. 268 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:45,685 - Good night. - Mm-hm. 269 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,689 It was rather flattering to have strangers send us drinks. 270 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,042 Yeah, that felt nice. 271 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,169 Maybe tomorrow morning we put on some hot pants 272 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,005 and see if we can score us some free omelets. 273 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,646 So, hypothetically, if we were to have gone with them, 274 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,080 which one would you have picked? 275 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,001 I think I would have gone with the short one with the goofy haircut. 276 00:18:20,024 --> 00:18:22,446 Oh, good, 'cause I liked the tall thin one. 277 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,648 He seemed intelligent, kind of a loner, 278 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,041 maybe a little sexually inexperienced, 279 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,726 like I'd have to teach him a thing or two. 280 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:35,601 Not my guy. I caught him staring at my rack. 281 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:37,920 It'd be nice to be with a man 282 00:18:37,944 --> 00:18:40,754 who wants to know what's underneath my cardigan. 283 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:44,331 FYI, it's another cardigan. 284 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,849 Your short, sexed-up guy kind of sounds like Howard. 285 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,083 Your brainy virgin kind of sounds like Sheldon. 286 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,049 - Good night. - Night. 287 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,971 All right, Dr. Koothrappali, it's been nice talking to you, 288 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,040 but I need to go home and relieve my babysitter. 289 00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:08,170 I can relate to being a single parent. I have a dog. 290 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:12,325 Yeah, it's exactly the same thing. Good night. 291 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:13,891 Mrs. Davis... 292 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:17,931 I, uh... I must confess, I came here tonight 293 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,924 in a futile attempt to pick up some lonely post-doc, 294 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:25,005 but instead I got to connect with you at a human level. 295 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,766 That's a much better evening. 296 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,723 You're a lovely person. 297 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,771 - Are you hitting on me? - No, no, no, that would be crazy! 298 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,761 I mean, if I were hitting on you, you'd know it 299 00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:39,549 'cause you'd feel uncomfortable and a little sad for me. 300 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,564 You're sweet. 301 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:49,640 - Good night, Dr. Koothrappali. - Good night. 302 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,404 Looks like she accepted your apology. 303 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:57,281 And then some. I think we had a moment. 304 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,920 Please, you did not have a moment. 305 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,969 Who died and made you king of moments? 306 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,041 Okay, fine. Let's say there was a moment. 307 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,965 - There was. - There wasn't. But... 308 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:13,044 But even if there was, what are you gonna do about it? 309 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:18,923 I will slowly seduce her until she falls helpless into my bed, 310 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:20,923 hungry for the pleasure only I can give her. 311 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,730 - So nothing. - No, not a thing. 312 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,447 I'm so glad the police finally caught 313 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:36,491 that psychotic genetically-engineered ape. 314 00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:44,170 That is my girlfriend! I swear to God! 315 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:48,408 Leonard! Leonard! Leonard! Leonard!