1 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:06,085 And here's another interesting weather fact. 2 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,766 Another? Great! 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:12,003 Changes in jet streams can affect the speed 4 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:14,447 at which the Earth rotates on its axis, 5 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,922 so bad weather can actually make the day longer. 6 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:21,567 Well, there must be a hell of a storm somewhere. 7 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:26,645 Joke if you must, but you're going to miss these moments. 8 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,529 With Leonard home in a few days, 9 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,524 this was your last time driving me to the grocery store. 10 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:33,842 You know, I will miss this. 11 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,526 I'll tell you what, if my apples are mealy, 12 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:41,203 we'll hit the produce section for one last crazy blowout. 13 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,283 Heck, you can even push the cart. 14 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:47,962 Please don't take my looking forward to Leonard's return 15 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:51,647 as criticism of the job you've been doing in his absence. 16 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,165 I won't. 17 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:57,160 That criticism will come later in your report card. 18 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,243 Yeah, I didn't stay for the detention, 19 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,289 I'm not gonna read the report card. 20 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:08,283 - Hello. - Leonard! Hi! 21 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,044 - Sh! Keep your voice down. - Oh, my God. You weren't supposed 22 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,168 - to be here till Sunday! - We finished the experiment early, 23 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:13,845 so I thought I'd come home and surprise you. 24 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,361 Oh, my gosh, why are we whispering? 25 00:01:15,384 --> 00:01:17,966 I didn't tell Sheldon so we could have a few days alone. 26 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:22,489 - Oh! That is so romantic. - Sure, that's why I did it. 27 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,968 I just cannot believe you're here. 28 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,884 Penny, it's your lucky day! 29 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,408 Three of the eggs are clearly not jumbo. Grab your keys. 30 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,847 Stuart, I was wondering if you could help me find something. 31 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,731 Happy to, unless it's hope or a reason to live. 32 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,924 Oh, you make me laugh, sad clown. 33 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:15,043 Anyhoo, Leonard will be back in a couple days 34 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,407 and I need a welcome-home gift for him. 35 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,927 As he's been at sea, perhaps something 36 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,481 with a nautical theme might be appropriate. 37 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:25,371 Okay, well, I don't know how much you want to spend, 38 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,569 but I do have this pretty cool Aquaman statue. 39 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:36,850 Aquaman? This isn't a gag gift, Stuart. 40 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,925 Yeah, just as well. It's a pretty rare piece. 41 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,128 I'd rather just sell it to a real collector. 42 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,409 I'm a real collector. 43 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,762 How rare is it? 44 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,526 I shouldn't even have mentioned it. How about a Batman squirt gun? 45 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:52,801 Ye... 46 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,641 Don't try and trick me into buying something I don't want. 47 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,723 Now, let's talk Aquaman. 48 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:02,965 What were they thinking, putting Doctor Octopus's mind 49 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:04,810 in Spider-Man's body? 50 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,803 Well, I've been quite enjoying that. 51 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,281 It combines all the superhero fun of Spider-Man 52 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,250 with all the body-switching shenanigans of Freaky Friday. 53 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,090 Original and Lohan. 54 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:19,562 "Original and Lohan." You're an idiot. 55 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:21,728 Hey, what's your problem? 56 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:24,042 I'm sorry. I've been kind of snippy lately. 57 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,407 It's probably this stupid diet I'm on. 58 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,968 - Why are you on a diet? - I've put on a couple pounds. 59 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:33,809 Had to buy these pants in the men's section. 60 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,404 Well, we've all seen your mom. 61 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,249 That Butterball turkey was bound to come home to roost. 62 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:47,321 Twelve-hundred dollars! That's my final offer! 63 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,524 All right, Sheldon, you win. 64 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,728 I'm sure Leonard is gonna love this. 65 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,440 Oh, right, a present for Leonard. 66 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:58,041 You better throw in that squirt gun. 67 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:02,603 Hm... Yeah, I don't know. This squirt gun, it's... it's pretty rare. 68 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,171 Oh! 69 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:11,041 And this is me doing the Titanic pose on the boat. 70 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,889 Oh! 71 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,924 And... oh, that's me getting rescued after I fell in. 72 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,246 Oh. 73 00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:20,524 - Oh. That's the pizza. - Yep. 74 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,603 - Here's some money. - Thank you. 75 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,364 And I'm gonna hit the head. 76 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,410 That's what us salty sea dogs say when we have to go pee-pee. 77 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:31,491 - Hey. - Twenty-two, fifty. 78 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,483 Okay, here's 25. Keep the change. 79 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:37,361 Seriously? I just walked up, like, four flights of stairs. 80 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:41,411 Oh, okay. Well, here's, um... 81 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,164 Thirty-something cents, 82 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,561 and a promise I won't call your boss 83 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,445 and tell him you reek of marijuana. 84 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,521 Oh, Penny, I see you've ordered pizza. 85 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,001 - I have Chinese food. - That's nice. 86 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,164 Oh, that's a rather earthy cologne. 87 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,400 My uncle used to wear that. 88 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,567 Perhaps we can enjoy one last meal together before Leonard returns. 89 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,240 Yeah, thanks, but I kind of feel like eating alone tonight, so... 90 00:05:10,264 --> 00:05:13,641 Are you sure? With your Italian pizza and my Chinese noodles, 91 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,290 we could play Marco Polo. 92 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,171 I mean, of course, a reenactment of a meal 93 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,721 in the life of Marco Polo the Venetian explorer, 94 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:24,163 not Marco Polo the terrifying water sport. 95 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,528 Uh, yeah. It sounds fun, but no thanks. 96 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,080 Have a good night! 97 00:05:29,104 --> 00:05:32,082 - What, now, do you have company? - No. No, no, no. 98 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:33,960 You know what? The toilet's been doing that. 99 00:05:34,115 --> 00:05:36,795 - I called the building manager, so... - Oh, I can take a look at it. 100 00:05:36,819 --> 00:05:39,091 - Well... - I'm quite familiar with plumbing. 101 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:43,325 Not to brag, but I spent most of fifth grade with my head in a toilet. 102 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,165 Yeah, no, no, no. You know what, Sheldon, it's okay. 103 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,010 You don't have to go into the bathroom. 104 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:50,931 That's curious. If there's no one here, 105 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:54,203 why are there two glasses of wine on the table? 106 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,443 Oh. Well, you know, I've got two hands 107 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,807 and a bit of a drinking problem. 108 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,571 Of course. Ask a silly question. 109 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,889 - That's odd. - What? 110 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,327 There are takeout containers in the trash can. 111 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,926 So? That's my dinner from last night. 112 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,004 What's odd is they're in the trash can. 113 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,640 Okay. Look, honey, I promise there's no one's here. 114 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,400 I've had a long day. I just want to have a quiet dinner by myself. 115 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,681 Oh, very well. 116 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:27,084 I'm no stranger to enjoying the pleasures of solitude. 117 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:29,521 - Oh! - What? 118 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,560 Have you gotten Leonard a welcome-home gift yet? 119 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:32,641 - No. - Oh, great. 120 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,690 Do you want to go halfsies on a 200 dollar squirt gun? 121 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,003 - Hi, honey. - Hey. 122 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,650 I made some brownies. You want one? 123 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,330 You're kidding, right? 124 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:49,484 I mean, you know I'm trying to lose weight. 125 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,008 God, I thought we were partners in this marriage. 126 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,562 We are. Stop it. And for the last time, you're not fat. 127 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,563 Really? Tell that to the bathroom scale, 128 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,927 'cause one of you is lying. 129 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:05,402 Fine, forget I asked. How was dinner at your mom's? 130 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,928 Awful. I had to rub her ointment all over her again. 131 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,491 Why can't she do it? 132 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,769 'Cause we've got a deeply unhealthy relationship. 133 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,445 Which reminds me, 134 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,887 do you think you can get any samples of this from work? 135 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,560 This was supposed to last her a month, 136 00:07:20,584 --> 00:07:23,633 but they didn't take into account the square footage of her back. 137 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:27,009 Let me see. 138 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:29,800 How long have you been putting this on her? 139 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,762 I don't know. Few weeks. Why? 140 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,651 This is really strong estrogen cream. 141 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,440 Please tell me you've been wearing gloves. 142 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,768 Like these swollen sausages could fit in gloves. 143 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,611 Howie, the estrogen's getting absorbed by your skin. 144 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,808 That's why you've been all bloated and moody 145 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,327 and a giant pain in the ass. 146 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,609 You're full of estrogen and you don't act like that. 147 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:56,448 That's 'cause I'm a woman. I've had years of practice riding the dragon. 148 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:00,681 Fine. I'll wear gloves next time. 149 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,730 It's still gonna take a few weeks for the hormones to leave your system. 150 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:08,130 I feel so stupid. And fat. 151 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,250 It's okay. You still look great to me. 152 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:16,564 In fact, why don't we go in the bedroom and I'll prove it to you? 153 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:20,287 Sex? Really? I mean, that's just your solution to everything! 154 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:24,763 Oh, and here's a fun thing. 155 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:27,651 I worked it out so that there are two different words for spoon: 156 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,451 "Planko" and "janko." 157 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:34,446 "Planko" is a spoon with food, "janko" is a spoon without food. 158 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:39,289 "Janko" is spelled with a silent "ptang." 159 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:44,880 Sheldon, you're not even listening to the rules of my made-up language. 160 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:48,289 - Yes, I am. - Then what does "tweepadock" mean? 161 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,646 Uh... 162 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,327 Elephant? 163 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,447 Lucky guess. 164 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,361 I'm sorry. 165 00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:00,569 I'm just distracted by something that happened over at Penny's. 166 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,721 What happened? 167 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,565 I fear Penny is being unfaithful to Leonard. 168 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:07,530 - What? - She claimed to be alone 169 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,809 when there was obviously someone else in her apartment. 170 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,327 I have no choice but to assume the worst, 171 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,482 given Leonard's lengthy sea voyage 172 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,803 and her famously ravenous nether regions. 173 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,844 I don't think Penny would cheat on Leonard. 174 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,082 Oh, really? 175 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,770 She and I once had a staring contest. 176 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,566 She clapped really loud and made me blink. 177 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:37,045 It's a small leap from there to sexual infidelity. 178 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,208 You're being ridiculous. 179 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:45,287 Amy, there were Chinese food containers... in the trash can. 180 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,445 Poor Leonard. 181 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:58,001 - Do you hear anything? - I hear a woman's voice. 182 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,726 - Is it Penny? - No, it's you. 183 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,691 All right, I hear whispering and giggling. 184 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,365 Now I think I hear kissing. 185 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,285 Yeah, like you know what kissing sounds like. 186 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:14,001 There's kissing in Star Trek, smarty-pants. 187 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:15,685 Let me listen. 188 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,766 - Sounds like Leonard. - Please. 189 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:24,766 Why would Leonard come home early and waste his time kissing Penny 190 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,571 when he could be hanging out with his best buddy? 191 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,124 Yeah, that's it. I'm catching her in the act. 192 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,442 No, Sheldon, don't. 193 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:35,563 A-ha! 194 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,320 - What the hell?! - Leonard? 195 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,400 Sheldon, you cannot just barge in here like that! 196 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,771 Right. 197 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:48,370 Penny! Penny! Penny! 198 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,560 Are you going to answer the door or should I open it 199 00:10:54,584 --> 00:10:56,029 and say "a-ha" again? 200 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,161 I'm sorry, Sheldon. I should've told you I was back. 201 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,400 I just wanted to have a couple days alone with Penny. 202 00:11:05,424 --> 00:11:07,562 Oh, no, I should apologize. 203 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:11,361 I never realized to what extent our friendship was a burden to you. 204 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,085 That is not fair. 205 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,403 I complain about what a burden it is at least once a month. 206 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,164 Oh, no, no, let's not sugarcoat this. 207 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,842 You find me finicky, pedantic and annoying. 208 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,206 No, he doesn't. 209 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:26,762 I actually have used those exact words before. 210 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:29,121 In that order. 211 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,443 Well, Leonard, I think it's high time 212 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,729 you and I address the "tweepadock" in the room. 213 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,400 - The what? - Amy? 214 00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:41,211 - Please leave me out of this. - Fine. 215 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:45,160 Leonard, there's no need for you to pretend to like me anymore. 216 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,403 - Come on, I said I was sorry. - No, no, you save your apologies 217 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,763 for after you've had disappointing coitus with Penny. 218 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,487 It was fine. 219 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,130 Come on, this is silly. 220 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:02,609 Hey, I brought you back a little present from my trip, huh? 221 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:07,530 It's that sailor cap that you wanted. It's neat, huh? 222 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,807 You honestly think you can buy back my friendship with a cheap souvenir? 223 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:17,129 I don't. No, I really don't. Just try it on. 224 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,041 - Oh, yeah. - Hello, sailor. 225 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,963 Now we're talking. 226 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,281 Excuse me. 227 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,883 This changes nothing. 228 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,367 Except the Halloween costume I'm wearing this year. 229 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:46,843 Amy, you're going to be Olive Oyl. Lay off the donuts. 230 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,682 - Thanks for coming over. - No problem. 231 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,171 Ooh! You made little sandwiches! 232 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,926 Yeah, that's cucumber and cream cheese. 233 00:12:58,080 --> 00:12:59,605 That's turkey and loganberry. 234 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:03,481 And don't tell my hips, but I'm warming up a brie in the oven. 235 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,483 Nice. So... 236 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:07,361 What's up? 237 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,729 Okay, well, I've been reading up on all the side effects 238 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:15,681 you can get from estrogen, and... I need you to be honest with me. 239 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,127 Do my boobs look bigger to you? 240 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:22,808 Well, it's kind of hard to tell. 241 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,803 Come on, Raj, it's a "yes or no" question. 242 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,691 I'm not sure. Um... Wait. 243 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,684 Jump up and down, let's see if they jiggle. 244 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:41,090 No, I... I still can't tell. Uh... 245 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:44,443 Oh, you know what? Okay, give me some of this. 246 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,082 - Seriously? - Do you want my help or not? 247 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,250 Fine. 248 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,084 Okay, yup- 249 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:02,608 See, see, that looks like... that looks like they could be bigger. 250 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,641 But, you know, I bet... I bet when I do it, mine do the same thing. 251 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,523 - Yeah, they kind of do. - Hm... Let me see something. 252 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,444 Hey, easy! 253 00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:22,366 - My nipples are sensitive. - Oh. Sorry, sorry. 254 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:25,484 Okay. 255 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,683 I mean... 256 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,202 Yeah, maybe. 257 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:38,647 Okay, let me feel. 258 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,963 No, I am definitely up a cup size. 259 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,930 You know, but they're very firm, so you've got that going for you. 260 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,124 - You think? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, very perky. 261 00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:00,370 Thank you. I really needed to hear that today. 262 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,366 - Ooh! Brie's ready! - Yay! 263 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,088 - Good morning. - Hello. 264 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,405 So am I driving you to work, or are you still mad at me? 265 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,011 I'd like a ride. 266 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,765 Assuming you actually do take me to work. 267 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,570 Where do you think I would take you? 268 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:28,930 Who knows? You said you'd be home yesterday, 269 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:30,809 but you came home three days ago. 270 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:34,203 You say you're taking me to work, but for all I know, 271 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:38,160 I'll end up in a deserted amusement park. 272 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:41,005 Or a cornfield maze. 273 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:44,164 Or a back-alley dog fight. You tell me. 274 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,569 I'm going to work. You can come if you want. 275 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:49,404 Okay. 276 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:53,170 By the way, you have something on your shirt. 277 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,449 - No, I don't. - Hurts, doesn't it? 278 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,210 You know, I find myself wondering 279 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:06,284 if anything you've ever told me is true. 280 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:09,768 I didn't make it back. The ship sank, I'm in hell. 281 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:16,689 You say you're from New Jersey, but how can I believe you? 282 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:20,242 Why would anyone claim to be from New Jersey if they weren't? 283 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,402 All right, I'll give you that one. 284 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,850 Hey, I said I was sorry. What else do you want from me? 285 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,241 I want you to admit that what you did was wrong. 286 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:34,404 Fine. What I did was wrong. 287 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,483 I wish I could believe you. 288 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,922 You know what? I'm not driving you to work, 289 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:41,650 because you're incredibly annoying. 290 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,007 You say one thing and do the other, 291 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:48,245 so then you are driving me and you find me a delight. 292 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,204 - Stop it. - Keep it up? 293 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,562 - Bye! - Hello! 294 00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,568 So I guess you're really holding up the other four fingers? 295 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,764 Oh, hey, what are you doing here so early? 296 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,566 - Driving Sheldon to work. - He's still mad at Leonard, huh? 297 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,131 He's mad at you, too. 298 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,762 He says you're the succubus who led his friend astray. 299 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:18,683 I don't know what "succubus" is, but... 300 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,047 it has "suck" in it, so that can't be good. 301 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,362 - Thought I heard you out here. - Hey, Sheldon. 302 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:28,723 You don't get a "hey." You get a "hmm." 303 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,644 Come on, don't be like that. 304 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,041 We had so much fun together the last couple of months. 305 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:36,124 You're right. Which makes your betrayal all the more devastating. 306 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:37,970 - Sheldon... - I let you buy 307 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,164 feminine hygiene products with my supermarket club card. 308 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:46,128 You have any idea the kind of coupons I'm going to get in the mail now? 309 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,324 Sheldon, your fight's with Leonard. Penny's got nothing to do... 310 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:51,970 Careful, Amy. 311 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:55,841 The friend of my enemy's girlfriend is my enemy. 312 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,490 - Really? - Yes. 313 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,483 You're either with me or against me. 314 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,762 You want to take the bus to work? 315 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:04,881 Maybe there's a third option. 316 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:11,166 FYI, I had a doughnut for breakfast, you jerk. 317 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,642 So now we're just waiting for the data 318 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,361 from the ship to be crunched, but the numbers look pretty promising. 319 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:23,366 That's so great. If you guys prove the existence of Unruh radiation... 320 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,409 Hey, hey, hey! My eyes are up here. 321 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,843 Howard, Raj, Judas. 322 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,685 You know what? You're a crazy person. 323 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,882 A crazy person with a long memory, 324 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:40,010 and if all goes according to plan, a robot army. 325 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,088 - Stop it. - Or a mutant army. 326 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,720 It depends on how my Kickstarter goes. 327 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,487 I said stop it! 328 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,768 Now, listen to me. 329 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,969 You two aren't just friends. 330 00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:56,929 You're best friends. 331 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,281 And that's a beautiful thing. 332 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,806 I mean, Leonard, you know why he's so mad at you? 333 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,281 It's 'cause he missed you! 334 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,364 Yeah, and as his friend, you should be happy 335 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:15,206 he has love in his life. 336 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:17,283 As I do. 337 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,767 This man held my breast the other day, and I love him for it. 338 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,842 A little loud, dude. 339 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:33,211 So can we please put aside these petty differences 340 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,688 and just be glad we're here together? 341 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:40,485 - Okay. - I suppose so. 342 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,449 Thank you. 343 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,165 It wasn't anything weird. It was just to see how big they were. 344 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,290 And then Leonard took me to the barber and the dentist, 345 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:58,204 and then to cap off the perfect day, 346 00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:01,409 the Los Angeles Bureau of Weights and Measures. 347 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,280 I thought the measures were going to be the stars of the show. 348 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,091 Turns out it was the weights. 349 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,084 I'm so glad you guys are friends again. 350 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,369 And I'm glad you and I are friends again, too. 351 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,928 Which reminds me. This came in the mail, and I want you to have it. 352 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:21,448 "Fifty cents off Vagisil." 353 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,611 Think of me when you apply it. 354 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:31,768 Can I just say, I've missed all of us hanging out together. 355 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,445 - Yeah. - Me, too. 356 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,810 Um, since when can Koothrappali talk in front of the girls without a beer? 357 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,968 Oh, that happened right after you left. 358 00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:41,485 And no one told me? 359 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:45,087 Can't believe we forgot to tell him. 360 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,684 Ahem. Think of Sheldon when you apply it.