1 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:06,251 In the lead, the left-side competitor. 2 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:09,844 Wow, you're really good at this. 3 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,321 Well, I have an extremely low center of gravity. 4 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,770 I'm like a pyramid. 5 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,411 How you doing over there? 6 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,602 Oh, I hope it's just a sprain. 7 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,684 I cannot walk into that ER 8 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,529 with another video game injury. 9 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,441 Hey, Sheldon, you want to play next? 10 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:34,040 Oh, I would, but I'm on my way out. 11 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,730 - Where? - Texas. 12 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,448 Right now? Why? 13 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,005 - Is someone sick? - Yes. 14 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:44,283 My sister's uterus came down with a baby. 15 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,484 Oh, she's pregnant? That's great. 16 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,443 You're gone an uncle... Uncle Sheldon. 17 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:51,961 No, I will be Uncle Dr. Cooper. 18 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:55,128 How come you never said she was pregnant? 19 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,163 Well, I never told you about my brother's kidney stone. 20 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:58,641 You want to hear about everything 21 00:00:58,664 --> 00:01:00,393 that comes out of my family's genitals? 22 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,045 Well, congrats, and it's nice 23 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:04,640 you're gonna be there for your sister. 24 00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:07,206 Yes. I'm filling in for her husband who's recovering 25 00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:09,482 from a horrible motorcycle accident. 26 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,722 Lucky duck. 27 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:14,528 Wow, so, how long will you be gone? 28 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,324 Well, she's due tomorrow. 29 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:18,721 Although it did take her six years to finish high school, 30 00:01:18,744 --> 00:01:20,075 so who knows? 31 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,125 Can I give you a ride to the airport? 32 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,846 Oh, no, thank you, I don't want to be an inconvenience. 33 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,847 Chop-chop, Leonard. We leave in ten minutes. 34 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,280 All right, here's the deal. 35 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,762 Sheldon is gone, so the tree decorating rules are out the window. 36 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:02,763 Yeah, which means we don't have to use 37 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,804 his ridiculous ornament-spacing template. 38 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,848 And I'm happy to report its Kickstarter campaign 39 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,689 is holding strong at zero dollars. 40 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,047 Wait, so Star Wars and Star Trek characters 41 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,725 can go on the same branch? 42 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:17,481 I know, it's crazy. 43 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,489 Welcome to the Thunderdome, people! 44 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:20,761 Woo! 45 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,681 I've never done this before. It's kind of fun. 46 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,367 Yeah, if your mom could see her little Bar Mitzvah boy right now, 47 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,520 she'd have a heart attack. 48 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,523 Good idea, I'll take a picture. 49 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,080 Honey, I'm a little strapped for cash this year, 50 00:02:36,104 --> 00:02:38,675 so for Christmas I was thinking of giving you... 51 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,401 this. 52 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:43,446 I love it. 53 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:44,806 Okay. 54 00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:46,763 But it is what you got me last year. 55 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,922 - Yeah. - And last night. 56 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,446 Hello. 57 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:53,601 Hi, Stuart. 58 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:56,207 Oh, good, I'm glad you guys didn't wait for me to start. 59 00:02:56,360 --> 00:03:00,251 Although you said 7:00 and it's 7:00. That's fine. 60 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,286 Oh, it's probably Sheldon. 61 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:07,240 Hi, Sheldon. 62 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,288 Everybody's here, say hi. 63 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:10,440 - Hi. - Hey, buddy. 64 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:11,129 Hey. 65 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:12,122 - Howdy. - Hi. 66 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,566 Hello. 67 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,360 The second I go out of town 68 00:03:17,384 --> 00:03:19,088 you throw a Christmas party without me? 69 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,965 Yeah, kind of. 70 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,289 That's so thoughtful. You guys are the best. 71 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,165 Hey, how's your sister? 72 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:29,442 She went into labor an hour ago. 73 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,161 That's wonderful. So you're at the hospital? 74 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,965 No, she chose to have a home birth... because she wants 75 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:38,641 to live in the Stone Age and a cave wasn't available. 76 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,002 You know, many people believe 77 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,009 that home births are better because the mother 78 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:45,640 is in a warm, comfortable environment 79 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,648 where she can be nurtured by loved ones. 80 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,410 And turn the bedroom floor 81 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,126 into an amniotic Slip 'n Slide. 82 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,084 Shelly, come on! 83 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,202 Your sister's fully dilated 84 00:03:58,240 --> 00:03:59,651 and she wants a nice family picture 85 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,810 before there's blood everywhere! 86 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,410 On, boy. 87 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:08,206 I picked the wrong day to wear my good robot T-shirt. 88 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,050 If you were having Sheldon's baby 89 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:13,969 would you really want him in the room? 90 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,321 Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby, 91 00:04:16,344 --> 00:04:18,153 I'll give you ten dollars. 92 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,161 Hey, I brought over It's a Wonderful Life 93 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:22,720 if you guys want to watch it later. 94 00:04:22,744 --> 00:04:24,682 - Oh, I love that movie. - I've never seen it. 95 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,569 - Me neither. - It's great. 96 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,525 It's Christmas time and Jimmy Stewart's really depressed 97 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,041 and he's gonna jump off a bridge and kill himself... 98 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,043 Don't need to see it. Living it. 99 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,840 But then he gets to see what the world 100 00:04:36,864 --> 00:04:38,841 would be like if he'd never been born. 101 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,761 Hey, you ever imagine what that would be like? 102 00:04:40,784 --> 00:04:41,561 Not being born? 103 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,330 What do you think? 104 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:44,771 What do you think? 105 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,724 What do you think? 106 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,763 You make jokes about Sheldon, 107 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,086 but if it weren't for him, 108 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:55,204 I don't think any of us would be sitting in this room right now. 109 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:56,971 Really? Sheldon not being here 110 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,481 is the main reason I'm in this room. 111 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:02,686 It's true. 112 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,404 None of you would know me. 113 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,130 You wouldn't know Bernadette. 114 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,567 - You wouldn't be dating Penny. - You don't know that. 115 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,760 I've been going to the Cheesecake Factory for years. 116 00:05:10,876 --> 00:05:11,957 I could have picked her up. 117 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,246 Oh, you weren't joking. 118 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,168 No. 119 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:20,691 Okay, sweetie, let me tell you 120 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,649 exactly how that would have gone down. 121 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,444 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna ask her out. 122 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,609 I'm gonna squirt chocolate milk out of my nipples. 123 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,810 Sorry, I thought we're saying things that are never gonna happen. 124 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,161 Maybe this time he's going to do it. 125 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:40,169 Hope you're thirsty, here it comes. 126 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:43,921 Watch me. 127 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,607 Hey, you guys ready to order or you need a few minutes? 128 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,564 A few minutes it is. 129 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,844 You didn't ask her out, but that was a lot of sounds. 130 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,164 You guys are making me nervous. 131 00:05:58,280 --> 00:05:59,760 Fine, then go talk to her on your own. 132 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:01,721 I Will. 133 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,282 - Excuse me. - Yeah? 134 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,564 Hi... I'm Leonard? 135 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,121 Really? You don't sound so sure. 136 00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:19,964 No, I am he. 137 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,645 Anyway... 138 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:29,323 There's been something I've wanted to ask you for a long time. 139 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:30,487 What's that? 140 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,365 I was wondering, if you're not too busy... 141 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,771 if you'd be interested in... 142 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,404 telling me where the restroom is? 143 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,125 I think you're too late. 144 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,846 Come on, I would not have peed my pants. 145 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,889 - She nailed it. - Sounds about right. 146 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:58,089 But, you forget, I did ask you out in real life. 147 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,482 Which couldn't have happened if you didn't live across the hall from her 148 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,320 which couldn't have happened without Sheldon. 149 00:07:02,344 --> 00:07:03,685 Same goes with you guys. 150 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,046 If Leonard wasn't with Penny, 151 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:06,685 she never would have set you up. 152 00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:08,444 Doesn't matter. Bernadette still would've been working 153 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:09,721 at The Cheesecake Factory, 154 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,889 and I still would've been working this beefcake factory. 155 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,645 You would've been all over me. 156 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,206 Well... 157 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,924 Hey, Penny, can I take that table? 158 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,041 Sure, why? 159 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,764 The one in the turtleneck is cute. 160 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,887 Open wide, here comes the happy train. 161 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:35,646 Mm-hm... Chug-a chug-a, yum, yum. 162 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,804 Hang on. 163 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,200 You got a... You got a little something. 164 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,130 Never mind. 165 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,881 Oh, man, that is so us. 166 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,083 You know, maybe you and I wouldn't be together, 167 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,960 but you wouldn't have done so great yourself. 168 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,405 - Why? - Because I know exactly 169 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,682 the kind of guy you would've ended up with. 170 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:10,771 Hey, babe. 171 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,003 Hey. Did you remember to pay the rent? 172 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,691 Better. I used the money to buy these magic beans. 173 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:20,129 He may be an idiot, but at least he didn't pee himself. 174 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,210 Hold on. 175 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,882 Aw, babe, I peed myself. 176 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,642 Me, too. 177 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,931 The end. 178 00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:46,561 Hi, Sheldon. 179 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:47,886 Everything okay? 180 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,044 No, it's not. 181 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,604 I've seen things. 182 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,286 Lady things. 183 00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,809 Listen to me. 184 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,531 That is not the way they usually look. 185 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:06,971 It doesn't matter. 186 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,441 This is no way to make new humans. 187 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,569 People coming out of people. 188 00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:15,409 It's some kind of dirty magic show. 189 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,564 Sheldon Lee Cooper. 190 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:21,126 You get back in this room right now. 191 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,571 And bring a mop. 192 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:24,925 Did you hear that? 193 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:26,167 A mop- 194 00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:29,040 I have two PhDs yet somehow I'm the janitor 195 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,650 of my sister's birth canal. 196 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,001 Hey, Sheldon sent us all an e-mail. 197 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,243 "Happy holidays from Texas." 198 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:43,925 And there's pictures. 199 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,168 Ah! Don't open them. Do not open them. 200 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:50,960 Oh, come on. Childbirth is a natural, beautiful... 201 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,129 Oh, it's like someone sawed a cow in half. 202 00:09:56,320 --> 00:10:00,370 My father's a gynecologist, I think I can handle it. 203 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,881 And, now I'm gay. 204 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:06,686 You know, I was thinking, 205 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,720 without Sheldon most of us would have never met, 206 00:10:08,744 --> 00:10:10,667 but Penny would still live across from him. 207 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,444 And with Leonard out of the picture, 208 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:15,050 we all know what that would mean. 209 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:16,847 We do? 210 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:21,600 Hey, Sheldon. 211 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,165 Hello. 212 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,928 Doing laundry? 213 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:32,968 Of course I'm doing laundry. 214 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:34,684 Saturday night is laundry night, 215 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,167 and I'm in a laundry room, so... 216 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,049 I believe your inference is justified. 217 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,607 My inference is justified. 218 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,291 Sheldon, you are so funny. 219 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,442 Anyway, I need to do my laundry, too, 220 00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:52,404 because these clothes are so dirty. 221 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:56,846 Almost as dirty as the dirty girl who's wearing them. 222 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:00,168 Okay, that's enough. 223 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,851 - Disagree. - Keep going. 224 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,202 So, what do you think? 225 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:12,167 A tad asymmetrical, but nothing to be concerned about. 226 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,723 Please, Sheldon. I need you. 227 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,087 To... what? 228 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,206 To take me. 229 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,244 I'm not taking you anywhere till you put on a shirt. 230 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:29,286 Come on, Sheldon. You and me right here. 231 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,966 Penny, for the thousandth time, 232 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,124 I'm saving myself for someone special. 233 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,921 Perhaps a cute bespectacled neuroscientist 234 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,884 with hair the color of mud. 235 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,083 I think I know how to change your mind. 236 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,320 That's enough. 237 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,601 I was okay with it. 238 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:57,451 How's it going, Sheldon? 239 00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:59,449 Actually, much better. 240 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,045 Oh, good. Ls the baby born yet? 241 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,208 I don't know. I just got back. 242 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:04,360 Where'd you go? 243 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,330 My mother asked me to get some towels. 244 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,363 I took advantage of the vague request 245 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,608 and went to Bed, Bath & Beyond. 246 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,164 Excuse me! I'm on the phone! 247 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,165 So rude. 248 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:27,202 Here's another one. Penny, if it weren't for Sheldon, 249 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:31,723 you never would have met comic book legend Stan Lee. 250 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,371 Great. 251 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,244 At least Leonard, Howard and I would have always been friends. 252 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,041 Hey, how come you three never got an apartment together? 253 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,288 We talked about it, but Howard was in 254 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:48,006 a pretty serious relationship with his mom. 255 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,169 I lived with her to save money. 256 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:52,760 Yeah, you didn't have to buy groceries 257 00:12:52,784 --> 00:12:54,064 because you were breast-feeding. 258 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,400 So I guess if it weren't for me, 259 00:12:58,480 --> 00:12:59,920 you'd still be living with her, huh? 260 00:12:59,944 --> 00:13:01,649 Not exactly. 261 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,000 What do you mean, not exactly? 262 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,850 Well, things would be a little different. 263 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:10,888 Howard, where's my lunch? I'm starving! 264 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,563 I know you're starving. The neighbors know you're starving. 265 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:18,684 There's starving people in Africa who know you're starving! 266 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,411 That's it? There's not enough food! 267 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:27,246 Well, you cleaned out Earth! I don't know what else to do! 268 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,969 How is this any different? 269 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,884 You didn't let me finish. 270 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,403 Here you go, Mother. 271 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,447 You're a good boy, Howard! 272 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:42,406 Such a good boy! 273 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,567 Wait, did she die or did you kill her? 274 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,331 Tomato, tomahto. The important thing is she's dead. 275 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,968 Hey, so how come you two didn't move in together? 276 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,730 This guy wanted a place of his own 277 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,127 because he was sure he was gonna be a ladies' man. 278 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:07,769 Yeah, I was wrong. 279 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,571 But I do think you and I would have had a great time. 280 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:14,445 Come on, Leonard, dinner. 281 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,523 Coming. 282 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:26,281 Hang on. 283 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,209 Why would I be fat? 284 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,521 You'd have no girlfriend to see you naked, 285 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:34,286 you'd try to fill the void with food, 286 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:37,165 and I'm an enabler who once deep-fried a pancake. 287 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,884 Why can't you be fat too? 288 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,570 What do you want to do for dessert? 289 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:49,081 I think there's still half a cake from breakfast. 290 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:52,726 No, there's not. 291 00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,481 Hey, guys. 292 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,164 Stuart! 293 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,290 What are you doing? 294 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,164 I... 295 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,489 just wanted to be in anyone's story. 296 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,649 Yeah, but why are you fat? 297 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,003 Because Leonard was fat. 298 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,010 Amy, what about you? 299 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,441 What do you think you'd be doing if you never met Sheldon? 300 00:15:25,465 --> 00:15:27,362 It's hard to say, 301 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,602 my life would be so... different. 302 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,845 You can say "better." Sheldon can't hear you. 303 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,091 I don't know. 304 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,604 I'll stop now. 305 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,565 How's it going, Sheldon? 306 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:19,721 That's it. 307 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,161 The baby's here. 308 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:22,880 It's a boy. 309 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,684 Congrats. 310 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,410 Oh, thank you. 311 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,841 I wasn't sure I was going to make it. 312 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,131 But my mother gave me some ice chips, 313 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:35,402 my sister told me to breathe. 314 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,403 And I just thought to myself, "Sheldon", 315 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,602 if you can make it through the Green Lantern movie, 316 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,449 "you can make it through this." 317 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,085 Well, good for you, buddy. 318 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,605 We'll let you get back in there. 319 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:47,449 No, no, I'm not going back in there. 320 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,290 That baby is so irritating. 321 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,964 He has literally been crying his entire life. 322 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:57,320 Oh, he's already taking after Uncle Shelly. 323 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,486 - Come on, Sheldon, you should go. - Why? 324 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,884 Well, you always complain that you never 325 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,963 had an intelligent role model growing up, 326 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:07,770 and now you can be one for your nephew. 327 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,128 All right, I'll go. 328 00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:15,408 But from what I've seen, his attention span 329 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,409 is as limited as his bladder control. 330 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,129 You actually got him to do it. 331 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,050 Yeah, you keep saying how much Sheldon has affected all of us, 332 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,447 but you've clearly had an impact on him. 333 00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:29,160 If that were true, I wouldn't still be living alone. 334 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,325 Well, not exactly alone. 335 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,642 I do have a 50 pound sack of rice 336 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,569 with one of Sheldon's T-shirts on it. 337 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,130 I'm telling you, Sheldon cares for you more than you think. 338 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,841 I wish I could believe you. 339 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,685 I also wish there wasn't a mouse living in Rice Sheldon. 340 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,849 Hang on, I'm gonna give you a little early Christmas present. 341 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,286 I'm gonna show you something, but if you ever told Sheldon, 342 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,289 he'd probably never speak to me again. 343 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,329 So, if you want to tell him, that's fine. 344 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,007 Look. 345 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,524 I don't understand. 346 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:10,571 He made you his screensaver. 347 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:13,361 Oh. 348 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,570 Wow. 349 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,444 I had no idea. 350 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:20,842 He is so into me. 351 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,249 Wait, wait, where'd I go? 352 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,167 Oh, well, it's you, Swamp Thing, 353 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,204 Stephen Hawking, Spider-Man... but, look, you're in the mix. 354 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:35,245 I am in the mix. And I'm the hottest one. 355 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:37,201 Who's that? 356 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:40,244 - Oh, Madame Curie. - That's fine, she's dead. 357 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,445 You Okay? 358 00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:58,442 Just really glad you're back. 359 00:18:58,640 --> 00:18:59,641 Me, too. 360 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,164 I got a lot of TV to catch up on. 361 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,084 I missed you. 362 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,287 To quote Han Solo, "I know." 363 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,002 Did you miss me? 364 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,441 I would've preferred to have you there with me. 365 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:24,560 Oh... 366 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,405 Or instead of me. 367 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,809 Did you hold the baby? 368 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,888 - I did. - And? 369 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,887 How did it make you feel? 370 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,606 Looking into the blank, innocent eyes 371 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,162 of a creature that couldn't begin to comprehend anything I was saying? 372 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:45,801 Basically just another day at the office. 373 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,289 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna ask her out. 374 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,890 Yeah, and chocolate milk is gonna squirt out of my nipples. 375 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,001 Put up or shut up. You make it, I'll drink it. 376 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:10,651 You guys need anything else? 377 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,842 Your phone number and one more cheesecake. 378 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,290 I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend. 379 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,205 In fact, there he is now. 380 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,486 Ready to go, sweetheart? 381 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,090 Not until I get my kiss.