1 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,808 This is nice, that we all get to eat together. 2 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:20,640 Absolutely. 3 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:30,846 Can we maybe put the phones down and have an actual human conversation? 4 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:35,210 We can, but thanks to Steve Jobs, we don't have to. 5 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,648 Guys. Guys, you're never gonna believe this. 6 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,962 - What happened? - I just got a part on a TV show! 7 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,451 That's great! Congratulations! 8 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,847 - Guys! - Oh, yeah! 9 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,402 - Yay, Penny! - What's the show? 10 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:53,009 NCII, or, you know, NCSTD... 11 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:54,730 I don't know, it's... 12 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,531 It's the one with all the letters and I'm gonna be on it! 13 00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,489 - That's amazing! - Yeah. 14 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,961 - What's your part? - I play a customer in a diner 15 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:03,844 and I flirt with Mark Harmon. 16 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,203 Ooh, Mark Harmon, he's a dreamboat. 17 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,121 - So it's just flirting? - Well, yeah. Why? 18 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,964 No reason. I just think it's sexier 19 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,681 when things are left to the imagination. 20 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,250 He's wrong. 21 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:47,800 So I read a study that says a man with a dog 22 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,287 is three times more likely to get a woman's phone number. 23 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,408 Is it true even when the man lets his dog 24 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,927 lick peanut butter off his tongue? 25 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,287 I don't see why not. 26 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,241 If you're really desperate to meet women 27 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,362 and like having food eaten out of your mouth, 28 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,488 I could set you up with my mom. 29 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,689 Why is that funny? 30 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,809 That's just unhygienic. 31 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,725 - It's a joke. - I don't think so. 32 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,610 I believe that a joke is a brief oral narrative 33 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,047 with a climactic humorous twist. 34 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:24,164 For example, Wolowitz's mother is so fat 35 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,402 that she decided to go on a diet, 36 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:29,370 or exercise, or both. 37 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:36,965 See? The twist is that people don't usually change. 38 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,609 Well, they don't. 39 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,724 Hey, guys, don't forget, my episode's on TV tomorrow night. 40 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:47,520 - We'll be there. - Can we bring anything? 41 00:02:47,674 --> 00:02:50,234 Oh, that's so sweet of you, but I was gonna steal food from here. 42 00:02:50,258 --> 00:02:52,305 You know, my treat. 43 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:57,410 Wait, if Howard's mother is coming, then you should also steal marbles. 44 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,971 Because she's obese, and hippos are obese, 45 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:08,051 and in the popular board game Hungry Hungry Hippos, they eat marbles. 46 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,361 Maybe I need to dumb these down for you. 47 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,761 - Leonard, do you think I'm funny? - No. 48 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,442 - Do you? - I think I'm hysterical. 49 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,886 I take it back. That was funny. 50 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,728 The philosopher Henri Bergson says it's funny 51 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,645 when a human being behaves like an object. 52 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:44,168 I bet that bit killed at The Chuckle Hut. 53 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:49,201 Oh, he didn't perform stand-up comedy, he was a philosopher. 54 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:54,164 You know, I think we're zeroing in on your problem. 55 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,008 Perhaps I'll spend some time 56 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,447 developing a unified theory of comedy, 57 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:03,207 which will allow me to elicit laughter from anyone at any time. 58 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,762 Unless they're German, 'cause that's a tough crowd. 59 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,247 Are you set on people laughing with you? 60 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,210 'Cause if you're cool with at you... 61 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,362 I don't get it. 62 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,561 Raj, when you said you were gonna bring a date 63 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,200 to watch Penny's thing tonight, I didn't think you meant Stuart. 64 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:35,402 Really? I never for a second thought it'd be anything else. 65 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:38,086 I almost met someone last night, but I blew it. 66 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:41,323 I was walking Cinnamon and this girl introduced herself, 67 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,245 but she was so cute I panicked and said, 68 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,164 "Wouldn't it be easier if instead of talking 69 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,084 we could just sniff each other's butts?" 70 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,162 Well, Stuart's cute in his own way. 71 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:55,563 When I was a baby, my mother called me her little possum. 72 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:59,361 - Are possums cute? - Not at all. 73 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:03,404 If you're so intimidated by talking to attractive girls, 74 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:06,291 maybe you should practice by talking to regular people. 75 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,330 You mean like fatties and uggos? 76 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,768 Or maybe just stop talking. 77 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:17,209 I'm serious. Go to the mall, talk to anybody, practice. 78 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,440 That way, when you eventually do talk to a cute girl, 79 00:05:19,464 --> 00:05:23,264 - it won't be so scary. - Or just keep dating the possum. 80 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,721 Parsa doesn't have those kind of resources. 81 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,326 No, and that's why he had Erin Pace rewire it... 82 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:33,481 I'm so proud of you. 83 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,409 We haven't even gotten to my scene yet. 84 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,321 I know, but you're going to be a TV star and you haven't left me yet. 85 00:05:38,344 --> 00:05:40,073 That takes guts. 86 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,125 I don't know about you, but I'm very uncomfortable with all this. 87 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:47,290 - Why? - I've never seen this show before 88 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,920 and now I'm starting with episode 246? 89 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,162 It's unnatural. 90 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:58,530 Just think of the first 245 as the prequel. 91 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,489 All right. 92 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,611 Okay, shh. Guys, guys, this is it. 93 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,643 I guess it's you and me, kid. 94 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,122 - What are you doing? - I'm trying to make peace. 95 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:10,441 - We're good. - Good. 96 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,325 - Are you kidding me? - What's wrong? 97 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,927 Well, the diner scene. Where's my diner scene? 98 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,970 Don't ask me. Until I see the prequel, I'm lost. 99 00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:23,400 No, there was supposed to be a big scene with me and Mark Harmon, 100 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,089 but it's... gone. 101 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,403 - What happened? - They must've cut it. 102 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,927 Oh, Penny. 103 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,128 I'm... I'm sorry. 104 00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:34,881 - That stinks. - I'm sure you were great. 105 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,571 This doesn't make any sense. I mean, I... 106 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,802 I thought I did a really good job, I... 107 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:43,890 Excuse me. 108 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,845 I've been studying how to make people laugh. 109 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:59,721 They say that comedy is tragedy plus time. 110 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,531 - Let's tickle some ribs. - No! 111 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,846 No, Dad, I don't think they cut me out of the show 112 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,241 because I was too pretty. 113 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:17,891 No, I don't need you to come out and kick Mark Harmon's ass. 114 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,805 Daddy, I gotta go. I love you. Bye. 115 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:27,090 - How you doing? - This is such a disaster. 116 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,527 My parents had all my relatives over. 117 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:32,286 They got one of those six-foot sandwiches, 118 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:35,523 and got my brother a day pass out of rehab and... 119 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,527 now he's missing and the sandwich is missing, and... 120 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:45,004 They're probably in Mexico by now. So humiliating. 121 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,607 You still got the part. That's a huge accomplishment. 122 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:49,841 But this was supposed to be my break, okay? 123 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,440 People were gonna see me in this show 124 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:52,647 and it was gonna lead to bigger things. 125 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,444 More auditions, more parts. Now none of that's gonna happen. 126 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,365 Honey, you only had three lines. That wasn't gonna happen anyway. 127 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,530 - Unbelievable. - Oh, come on. 128 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:08,081 - That's not what I meant. - Then what did you mean? 129 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,767 I don't... You know, words don't always have to mean things. 130 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,446 I think you meant that you don't believe in me. 131 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,888 Nope. Uh-uh. I might not know what I meant, 132 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,769 but I know that I didn't mean that. 133 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,002 Not this guy. Oh, no way. 134 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:25,960 I want you, right now, to give me your 100 percent honest opinion. 135 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,841 Do you think I have what it takes to really make it as an actress? 136 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,604 - Yes. - So you think I'll be on TV 137 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,330 and in movies and win awards. 138 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,005 - Honestly? - Yes, honestly. 139 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:40,087 - I don't. - How could you say that? 140 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:43,210 I don't know... I got all confused when you said "honestly." 141 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:44,964 Oh! 142 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,287 Look, do I think that you are talented 143 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,647 and that you are beautiful? Of course I do. 144 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,002 But isn't Los Angeles full of actresses 145 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:57,642 who are just as talented, just as beautiful? 146 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,087 Look, we'll come back to that. 147 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,810 No, please. Don't stop, go on. 148 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,320 Tell me how I'm gonna be a waitress for the rest of my life. 149 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:08,081 That is not what I said. Look, I think you're really good. 150 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:09,969 I truly do. 151 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,600 But this is an incredibly hard thing that you're shooting for. 152 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,003 I mean, the odds of anyone becoming a successful actor 153 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:19,921 - are like a million to one. - Wow, thank you. 154 00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,762 Should've let Sheldon come. 155 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,642 This is interesting. 156 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:39,322 Apparently, a key component in some forms of humor 157 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:43,087 - is the element of surprise. - Well, that makes sense. 158 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,607 The prefrontal cortex is responsible 159 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:47,683 for planning and anticipation, 160 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,002 - and patients with brain lesions... - Brain lesions! 161 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,320 Sheldon, you scared me. That wasn't funny. 162 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,529 Or maybe you have a stick up your prefrontal cortex. 163 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,848 Okay, the notion that you can read a few books and come up 164 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,611 with a definitive theory of comedy is absurd. 165 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:14,845 I mean, humor is a complex neurological... 166 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:22,523 - Okay, that's pretty good. - Excellent. 167 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,811 - How about her? - No! No pretty girls! 168 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,724 The point is to talk to regular people 169 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,484 and work our way up to pretty girls. 170 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,051 Fine. 171 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,049 How about that old lady with the walker? 172 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:47,529 That depends. On any level, do you think she's hot? 173 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,723 We'll find somebody else. 174 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,364 Kumquat? 175 00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,370 I guess. 176 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,444 Ointment? 177 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,770 Sure. 178 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,120 Now, would you say ointment 179 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:14,763 is more, equal to, or less funny than kumquat? 180 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,924 I don't think I want to go out with you anymore. 181 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:24,287 Would you please stop joking around? I'm trying to figure this out. 182 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,205 Sheldon, how many words are you gonna go through? 183 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:28,930 All of them. 184 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,762 You didn't get your part cut. 185 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,730 And you didn't get your part cut. 186 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,805 Yep, bunch of old guys rocking out in a band, 187 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,328 all with erectile dysfunction, you didn't get your part out! 188 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,163 Hey. Can we talk? 189 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,847 We can, but the part of Penny might get cut. 190 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,122 That was really crappy of me. 191 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,642 What you're trying to do is hard, but people do make it, 192 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,202 and I really do believe you could be one of them. 193 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,011 Thank you. 194 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,960 And... to show you how much I believe in you, 195 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,726 I kind of got you an audition. 196 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,490 Are you serious? For what? 197 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,768 - The new Star Wars movie. - What?! 198 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:25,242 - How did you manage that? - There's this thing online, 199 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:28,483 you put yourself on tape and just send it in, anyone can do it. 200 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,847 Come on, Leonard, this is just a PR stunt. 201 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,083 So? Even if it is, you have a huge advantage 202 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,810 because you're an actual actress. 203 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,645 Most of the people doing this are just weirdoes and nerds. 204 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,291 Wolowitz sent his in two days ago. 205 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,284 - Really, let it go. - Look, maybe it is a long shot, 206 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,522 but sometimes long shots happen. 207 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:55,162 Luke Skywalker was only given one chance to destroy the Death Star. 208 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,800 He had to get a torpedo into an exhaust port 209 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,447 that was only two meters wide, but with the help of The Force, he... 210 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,649 Wow, I can feel you hating me right now. 211 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,125 How about that lady in the sweat suit, speed-walking? 212 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,806 Yeah, she seems friendly and easy to... 213 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,724 Never mind, she's gone. 214 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:20,402 Maybe talking to people is too hard. 215 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:25,411 We could go over to that department store, practice on the mannequins. 216 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,403 I don't know. They're dressed very stylishly. 217 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:29,608 They're probably stuck-up. 218 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,490 This is ridiculous. 219 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:37,804 The next person that walks by, no matter who it is, they're the one. 220 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:43,923 We're gonna die here. 221 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:47,766 - Hello. - Hey. 222 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:51,367 - Where's Sheldon? - He's home trying to use science 223 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:53,249 to determine the basis of humor. 224 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,448 - That's interesting. - It's exhausting. 225 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,165 Do you have any idea how hard it is 226 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,561 to laugh at a knock-knock joke that starts with, 227 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,600 "Knock-knock-knock, Amy, knock-knock-knock, Amy, 228 00:14:01,624 --> 00:14:03,274 knock-knock-knock, Amy"? 229 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,161 If you want him to stop, 230 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:08,011 sometimes the easiest thing to do is just fake a laugh. 231 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,328 Fake a laugh? 232 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:17,047 - Do you ever do that with me? - No, of course not. 233 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,487 Well, I'd be able to tell anyway. 234 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,881 I don't think you would. 235 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,327 Please, I've made plenty of girls laugh, 236 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,767 sometimes just by asking them out. 237 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,566 Yeah? Well, I fake my orgasms. 238 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:08,931 Yes, how much for a hundred long-stemmed, red roses? 239 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,605 Really? 240 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,121 How much for three? 241 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,401 - Hey. - Yeah, I'll call you back. 242 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,446 Look, I know you were just trying to help 243 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:25,888 with your Star Wars thing. I didn't mean to call it idiotic. 244 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,281 Well, I don't think you called it idiotic. 245 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:31,125 Oh. Sorry, I meant to. 246 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:38,690 Anyway... I was just upset with myself. I wasn't mad at you. 247 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:42,003 I just feel like everything is falling apart. 248 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,640 - Come on. It's okay. - No, it's not okay! 249 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,202 Look at me, okay? I took a temp job as a waitress forever ago, 250 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,125 and I'm still doing it. I can't quit, because guess what? 251 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:52,520 I can't do anything else. 252 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:57,203 And I finally get my big break, and it goes away! I'm such a mess. 253 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:58,885 - No, you're not. - Really? 254 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,361 'Cause this morning at Starbucks, 255 00:16:00,384 --> 00:16:03,547 a pair of old underwear fell out of my pant leg! 256 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:08,371 And it wasn't the only one in there. 257 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,561 Okay, listen to me, this is just a minor setback. 258 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,326 No, it's not, okay? I've been out here for, like, ten years! 259 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,882 - I've nothing to show for it! - Well, you have me. 260 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,402 You're right. 261 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:25,481 I do have you. 262 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:27,961 Mmm. 263 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,084 Let's get married. 264 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,081 What? 265 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,205 Whoo. 266 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:44,367 Leonard Hofstadter, will you marry me? 267 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,569 Um... 268 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,490 Did you seriously just say, "Um"? 269 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,563 Look, you know I love you, 270 00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:00,167 but you're... you're drunk and sad and feeling lost... 271 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,005 Okay, so you don't want to marry me?! 272 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,480 - That is not what I said. - No, forget it! I take it back! 273 00:17:05,504 --> 00:17:09,429 - Offer's off the table! - Who's in the mood to laugh?! 274 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:12,641 Really not a good time. 275 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,411 But I used science to construct the perfect joke. 276 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,130 - I'm gonna go. - Penny, don't. 277 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,282 No, no, I just need to be alone. 278 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:27,651 So, a sandwich, a rabbi and yo mama walk into a bar. 279 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:30,600 - Where are you going? - To my room. 280 00:17:30,624 --> 00:17:32,971 - Should I follow you? - No. 281 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,407 - Leonard, wait. - What? 282 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:38,609 I forgot to tell you the sandwich is promiscuous. 283 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:53,049 How about those guys on that bench over there? They look pathetic. 284 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,168 I bet we could talk to them. 285 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,322 That's a mirror. 286 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,649 Oh, yeah. 287 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:04,244 Hey, fellas, mall's closing. 288 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,607 - Sorry. - Yeah. Good night. 289 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,122 - Excuse me. - Yeah? 290 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,161 Do you like being a mall security guard? 291 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:20,201 - It's all right. - Okay, nice talking to you. 292 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,767 Smooth! 293 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:40,331 - Can't sleep? - No. 294 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,402 Would you like to talk about it? 295 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,688 Penny proposed, and I didn't say yes. 296 00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:58,969 - Why not? - That's a good question. 297 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,403 Does that mean the relationship is over? 298 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,450 I don't know. 299 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:08,926 Why don't you ask her? 300 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:15,042 Because I'm afraid to know the answer. 301 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:23,240 Well... I'm sorry. 302 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:29,766 That's it? You're not gonna make some dumb joke 303 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,729 or some inappropriate comment? 304 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,450 No. 305 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:38,804 You're my friend, and... I'm sorry. 306 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,449 Did you just put a "kick me" sign on my back? 307 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,208 No. 308 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,601 That wouldn't be funny at all. 309 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,682 Star Wars audition, take one. 310 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:18,488 Starring Howard Joel Wolowitz, real-life astronaut. 311 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,962 Vader is here, 312 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,811 now, on this moon. 313 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,610 I felt his presence. 314 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:35,003 He's come for me. He can feel when I'm near... 315 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,040 How many times do I have to tell you 316 00:20:37,064 --> 00:20:39,829 to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?! 317 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,961 - I'm in the middle of something! - So am I!