1 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:05,607 I got to tell you, the more I read about the primordial 2 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,525 gravity wave discovery, the more excited I get. 3 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:10,489 I know. Being an astrophysicist right now 4 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:11,766 is like being a rock star. 5 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,570 Only without the sex. 6 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,923 Yeah, literally, none of it. 7 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,040 What do you think about it, Sheldon? 8 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:21,650 Meh. 9 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,643 Are you kidding me? 10 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,848 This may be the biggest scientific breakthrough 11 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:27,121 of our lifetime. 12 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:30,602 How can you, as a theoretical physicist, not care about this? 13 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,768 Maybe it's because I'm not an elitist. 14 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:34,126 What I'd like to know is: 15 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:36,169 How does this gravity wave breakthrough 16 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:37,970 help the man on the street? You know? 17 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,884 Who's looking out for Joe Six-Pack 18 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,407 and all his quantum physics concerns? 19 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,206 Oh, my God, you're jealous. 20 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,283 Why would I be jealous? 21 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,767 I don't know. Maybe because the origin of the universe 22 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,605 just got proven, the Higgs field just got proven 23 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,411 and you've been working on string theory for the last 20 years 24 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,006 and you're no closer to proving it than when you started. 25 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:00,929 Yeah, well, I've had a lot on my plate. 26 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,771 We happen to live in a golden age of television. 27 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,401 Excuse me, fellas. 28 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,401 Sorry for eavesdropping, but there actually was 29 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,529 some big string theory news today out of the Hadron Collider. 30 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,001 Really? Did they find evidence to support 31 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,924 extra dimensions or supersymmetry? 32 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,926 No, but they did find evidence that you'll believe anything. 33 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:25,171 Why would you do that? 34 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,288 You're a string theorist as well. 35 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,211 Incorrect. I am a string pragmatist. 36 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,721 I say I'm gonna prove something that cannot be proved, 37 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:34,166 I apply for grant money, 38 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,567 and then I spend it on liquor and broads. 39 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,569 Later. 40 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,727 Do you think he's right? 41 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:48,050 Am I wasting my life on a theory that can never be proven? 42 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:54,521 Maybe. But how great is Game of Thrones? 43 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,883 Hey, you're up early. 44 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,122 I couldn't sleep. 45 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:29,205 I told you those Walking Dead pillowcases were a bad idea. 46 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,243 No, that's not it. 47 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:32,925 Is something bothering you? 48 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,890 Yes, but you wouldn't understand. 49 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,168 Come on, try me. 50 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,123 All right. 51 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,771 I've devoted the prime of my life to string theory 52 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:49,766 and its quest for the compactification of extra dimensions. 53 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:53,083 I've got nothing to show for it, and I feel like a fool. 54 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,009 OK. I get it. 55 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,367 I mean, not all the jibber-jabber in the middle, but... 56 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,840 I know what it's like to put your heart and soul into something 57 00:03:02,864 --> 00:03:04,354 and get nothing out of it. 58 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,125 You mean your acting career? 59 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,971 - No. - Your relationship with Leonard? 60 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:13,487 No. 61 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,280 Your failed attempt to go back to college? 62 00:03:15,304 --> 00:03:16,749 No! 63 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,046 I'm saying you and string theory sound like a relationship, 64 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,680 and I know what it's like to be in one 65 00:03:21,704 --> 00:03:24,025 and realize it's never gonna turn out the way you want. 66 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,963 I said Leonard, you said no. 67 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,048 I'm talking about other guys. 68 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:34,091 OK. Well, what do you do? 69 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,720 You have to have the courage to end the relationship. 70 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,724 You know? Break it off, shake hands, walk away. 71 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,721 I don't know if I can do that. 72 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,326 I know it's hard, honey, but in the end, that's how you grow. 73 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,367 Penny, have you seen my good inhaler? 74 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,601 Break it off, shake hands, walk away. 75 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,370 Hey, how's dating two women going? 76 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,682 Um, kind of hit a bump. 77 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,649 When I was honest and told Emily 78 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:13,041 she wasn't the only person I was seeing, it went great. 79 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,850 So I tried the same thing with Lucy. 80 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:19,210 - And? - She had mixed feelings. 81 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,681 But when I said, "Emily was cool with it. 82 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:24,001 Emily's the best. Why can't you be more like Emily?"... 83 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:29,123 those feelings became less mixed. 84 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,211 Women. Who knows what'll set 'em off? 85 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:38,124 At least now I can focus all my energies on just one girl. 86 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,123 I hope I get to meet her as soon as possible. 87 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,930 Why the rush? She isn't going anywhere. 88 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,367 She is. But I like that attitude. 89 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:50,081 Gentlemen, is anybody interested in my old string theory books? 90 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,890 You're really going to do this? 91 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,088 I am. Yeah, Penny pointed out 92 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,971 that what I'm going through is essentially a breakup. 93 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,885 And according to Cosmopolitan magazine, 94 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,202 one of the most effective techniques for moving on 95 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,971 is to get rid of all reminders of the relationship. 96 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,441 - You're reading Cosmo? - Yes. 97 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,489 As it turns out, there's an article 98 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,530 on how to get over a breakup in literally every issue. 99 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,880 Anyway, it suggests that I set these on fire, 100 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,128 but the smell of burning books 101 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:22,124 reminds me of church picnics in East Texas. 102 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,650 What's this? 103 00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:29,481 That's just a doodle of a hyperelliptic Riemann surface. 104 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,604 Oh, yeah. Wasn't that the basis of your postdoc fellowship? 105 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,091 It was. 106 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,720 This seemed so elegant at the time, 107 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:40,043 but now I realize I was just a simple country boy, 108 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,726 seduced by a big city theory 109 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,201 with variables in all the right places. 110 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,162 - It's going to be OK. - I know. 111 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,368 As hard as this is, I have to move on. 112 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,251 I can't keep postulating multidimensional entities 113 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,084 and get nothing in return. 114 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,050 I have needs, too. 115 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,169 So, you and Emily still together? 116 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,207 I spoke to Bernadette. She's free tomorrow night. 117 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:16,441 OK, great. 118 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,961 But if we're really gonna do a double date, 119 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,282 then we have to go over some ground rules about Emily. 120 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,562 Like when it turns out she's made of rubber, 121 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,051 I don't say anything? 122 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,565 She's very real. 123 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,848 That's what it says on the box. 124 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,087 Right next to "dishwasher safe." 125 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,368 See? This is exactly the kind of thing 126 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,329 I'm worried about you saying in front of her. 127 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,448 I promise I'll be on my best behavior. 128 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:46,161 You better be. No jokes about how close I am with my dog. 129 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,802 Or the truth about how close I am with my dog. 130 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,331 You got it. 131 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:53,164 No jokes about the year I took ballet. 132 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,924 You took ballet? 133 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,924 God, you never listen. 134 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,889 Are you sure you want to do this? 135 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,520 The magazine articles suggest that one of the ways 136 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,967 to get over a breakup is a new look. 137 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:12,045 What about your old look, well-groomed ventriloquist doll? 138 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,966 - "Oh, my God, I do look like that." - Stop it! 139 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,642 So, how do you want me to cut it? 140 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:25,964 How about Bill Gates meets Nikola Tesla? 141 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,050 So, business in the front, science in the back. 142 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,568 Or I don't cut it and maybe just style it a little. 143 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,125 I'm in your hands. 144 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,648 Do a good job and I'll tell you Cosmo's ten dynamite tips 145 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,723 to enjoy your PMS. 146 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,086 Can you keep him quiet? 147 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:44,760 Maybe jangle some keys in front of him? 148 00:07:44,784 --> 00:07:45,926 That doesn't work anymore. 149 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,367 He just thinks I'm taking him to the doctor. 150 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,725 So, now that you're no longer invested in string theory, 151 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,325 what are you gonna pursue? 152 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,403 There are so many exciting areas: 153 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,211 Black holes, dark matter... 154 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,044 Leonard was telling me about dark matter, 155 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,561 but I didn't really understand it. 156 00:08:02,584 --> 00:08:05,235 Don't feel bad. Neither does he. 157 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,089 OK... 158 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,489 what do you think? 159 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,766 Have you ever even seen a picture of Tesla? 160 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,610 It actually looks good, Sheldon. 161 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:22,649 - Doesn't it? - Yeah. 162 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,765 I suppose I could see myself in a scientific boy band. 163 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,206 Of course, I'd be the dreamy one and the smart one. 164 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,491 Sorry I'm late. 165 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:37,490 - What did you do? - I gave him a new look. 166 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:41,281 - It's cute, huh? - Yeah, it's cute. That's the problem. 167 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,602 I don't need other girls to see him walking around 168 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,410 like sex on a stick. 169 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,048 She's right. I'm too hot. 170 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,610 I'm excited to meet Emily. 171 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,644 Me, too. I just hope he doesn't blow it. 172 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,131 Why would you say that? 173 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:05,080 Because he's Raj. That's his thing. 174 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,249 Beckham can bend it, Ralph can wreck it, Raj can blow it. 175 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,643 Look, I don't want it to happen, 176 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,167 but odds are he's gonna find a way to... 177 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,129 Oh, crap, I know that girl. 178 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:20,642 - How? - In a bad way, very bad. 179 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:21,926 Hey, guys. 180 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,160 Whatever you hear tonight, just remember I love you. 181 00:09:24,184 --> 00:09:25,310 Hey! 182 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,650 Emily, these are my good friends, Howard and Bernadette. 183 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,808 - Guys, this is Emily. - Nice to meet you. 184 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,166 - Hi. - Hello. 185 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,970 Have we met before? 186 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,490 No. 187 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,687 I don't... I don't... think so. 188 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,285 You sure? You look familiar. 189 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,687 Well, you sure don't. 190 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,411 You I know, you I know, you? 191 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,562 Total stranger. 192 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:57,770 Even if you had yummy candy, I would not get in your van. 193 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,723 Did you go to that spin class on Green Street? 194 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,609 That must be it. 195 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:05,047 Since when do you go to spin class? 196 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,283 Wow. Now who doesn't listen? 197 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,606 Sheldon, your food's getting cold. What are you doing? 198 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:16,810 Looking through my textbooks for a new field of inquiry. 199 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,804 Why do we have a geology book? 200 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:23,089 Leonard, did you throw a children's party 201 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,651 while I was in Texas? 202 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:27,524 Wait. What's wrong with geology? 203 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,206 Let me put this in a way you'll understand, Penny. 204 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,089 You remember how you explained to me 205 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,322 that the Kardashians aren't real celebrities? 206 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:38,246 Well, geology is the Kardashians of science. 207 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,251 Have you considered studying standard model physics? 208 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,243 You want me to give up string theory 209 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,323 for something that's less advanced? 210 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,160 You know, why don't you break up with Penny 211 00:10:49,184 --> 00:10:51,346 and start dating a brown bear. 212 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:55,484 Like you could get a brown bear. 213 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,210 Hey, I've got a good job. 214 00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,203 I could buy salmon. You don't know. 215 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,569 Maybe you could make your new field of study 216 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,440 the calculation of nuclear matrix elements. 217 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:05,641 Oh, please. 218 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:09,043 If I wanted to take up a fad, I'd get a tramp stamp. 219 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,763 What about loop quantum gravity? 220 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,729 Oh, Duchess, look at me! 221 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,804 My quantum gravity's positively loopy! 222 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:22,970 Who's the duchess? 223 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,924 One of the people that lives in his head. 224 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,091 I hope he's this distraught if he ever breaks up with me. 225 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,846 Well, if he does, I'll see if my bear has a friend. 226 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,040 Sheldon, have you ever considered not rushing into something new? 227 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,640 I mean, why don't you take your time, enjoy your freedom? 228 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,889 Maybe something new to study will find you. 229 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,043 That's actually not bad advice. 230 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,680 You know, I didn't seek out string theory. 231 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,246 It just hit me over the head one day. 232 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:52,561 How does that happen? 233 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:54,961 A bully chased me through the school library 234 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,885 and hit me over the head with the biggest book he could find. 235 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,846 OK, how about we toast your newfound freedom? 236 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,241 Normally I refrain from alcohol, 237 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,449 but since my cerebral cortex is twiddling its proverbial thumbs, 238 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,329 why not soak it in grape juice 239 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,767 that's been predigested by a fungus? 240 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,965 And you wonder why other children beat you with books. 241 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:18,326 Cheers! 242 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,043 Emily, what do you do? 243 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,487 I'm a dermatology resident at Huntington Hospital. 244 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,364 And you know what that means. 245 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:31,127 Someone's skin's about to be softer than ever. 246 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,483 This is making me crazy. I know I know you from somewhere. 247 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,803 Howard was an astronaut. Maybe that's where you saw him. 248 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:42,288 Wow, that's amazing. What was that like? 249 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:45,250 It was the most incredible experience of my life. 250 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:48,131 Up there in the space station, you're... 251 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,248 Oh, my God, I remember. 252 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,328 Can I finish my astronaut story? 253 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:54,766 It was four years ago. 254 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,161 - Please don't say it. - We were set up on a blind date. 255 00:12:57,351 --> 00:12:59,311 - Please don't say it. - You came to my apartment. 256 00:12:59,335 --> 00:13:00,848 You're saying it. 257 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,485 Well, what happened? 258 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,483 - Yeah, what happened? - OK, I'll say it. 259 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:09,049 I was on the way to pick her up. 260 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,202 My stomach felt a little funny. 261 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:14,489 When I got there, I asked if I could use her bathroom. 262 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,483 Please don't say it. 263 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,521 One roll of toilet paper and 20 minutes later, 264 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:24,001 I was so humiliated, 265 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,891 I snuck out the window and never saw her again. 266 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,530 You know what else I never saw again: 267 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,728 My security deposit. 268 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,450 I'm sorry. 269 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,570 I tried to unclog it, but you didn't have a plunger, 270 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,245 and water was spilling out everywhere. 271 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,050 Right, just water. 272 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,401 Look, I have felt terrible about this for years, 273 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:47,565 and I'm glad I have the opportunity to tell you just how sorry I am. 274 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,762 It's fine. 275 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:51,410 All my friends love this story. 276 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,728 They call you Clogzilla. 277 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,206 Get it? Because you clogged up her bathroom 278 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,966 like a radioactive monster! 279 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,526 - Yeah, yeah, I get it. - Howie. 280 00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:05,286 Well, hey, it's not like cotton candy comes out of you. 281 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,441 Come on, let's get you to bed. You've had a lot to drink. 282 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,011 No more than Penny. 283 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,089 That's what I'm saying. 284 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,409 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait... 285 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:18,268 Empty room. 286 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,127 If somebody says "Come in," I'm gonna freak out. 287 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,770 So, Emily, why did you decide to specialize in dermatology? 288 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,922 I like cutting people with knives, 289 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,641 and all the other jobs where you get to do that are illegal. 290 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,408 You're kidding, right? 291 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,644 She's scary, but it's a cute scary. 292 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:52,806 Can I say just one more thing? 293 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,611 I had some kind of food poisoning that day. 294 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,445 Sure, in retrospect, gas station sushi... 295 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,011 maybe not the best choice. 296 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:03,004 Nor was climbing out your window and running away. 297 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,845 But I think we can all understand how humiliating that was, 298 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,920 and I'd really appreciate it if we could move on. 299 00:15:07,944 --> 00:15:09,323 Howie, we moved on a long time ago. 300 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,801 - I'm just saying... - We moved on. 301 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,971 OK. Fine. 302 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,962 - How's your soup? - It's all right. 303 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,963 They could've filled the bowl a little more. 304 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,525 - Excuse me. - Where are you going? 305 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,650 - I need some fresh air. - Been there. 306 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,642 Oh, no. 307 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,882 What have I done? 308 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,842 How you feeling? 309 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,161 Not so good. 310 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,050 Are you gonna introduce me to your friend? 311 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,090 It's not my friend. 312 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,242 Nothing happened. 313 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:40,849 I don't know, I heard you reading pretty loud last night. 314 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,607 Oh, dear Lord. 315 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:45,807 Where's Amy? 316 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,962 After she put you to bed, she went home. 317 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,080 Oh. 318 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,327 I should call her and apologize. 319 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,208 - Oh, no. - What? 320 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:02,206 Apparently, I called Stephen Hawking last night. 321 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,448 First new message. 322 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,409 Hawkman! 323 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:12,848 It's your old buddy Sheldonoscopy! 324 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,281 How come you didn't pick up the phone? 325 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,011 Oh, right. My bad. 326 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,922 You're awful quiet. Everything OK? 327 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,484 Not really. 328 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,723 I had a bit of an embarrassing evening. 329 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,121 Me, too. What happened? 330 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,129 I drank alcohol 331 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:40,121 and may have left an unfortunate voice mail for Stephen Hawking. 332 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,570 I wouldn't worry about it. 333 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:44,688 He's got a pretty good sense of humor. 334 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,524 I hope so. 335 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,682 What happened to you last night? 336 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,689 Well, turns out 337 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,486 I'd already met the girl Raj is seeing 338 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:58,281 when I did a number on her bathroom. 339 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,289 And that number was two. 340 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,730 Well, you know, I've always been a fan 341 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,724 of a story told by Attar of Nishapur, 342 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,805 about a king, who assembled a group of wise men 343 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:19,646 to create a ring that would make him happy when he was sad. 344 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:23,168 And that ring was inscribed with the phrase, 345 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,402 "This, too, shall pass." 346 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,561 - Hey, Cooper! - Oh, my God. 347 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:33,247 I heard you drunk-dialed Stephen Hawking last night? 348 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,084 Classic! 349 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:36,366 Get out of here, Barry. 350 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,363 Whatever you say... 351 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,887 Clogzilla. 352 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,124 Clogzilla. That's pretty funny. 353 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,561 I don't think that's gonna pass. 354 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,923 Next message. 355 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,809 It's me again! 356 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,088 I gave up string theory. 357 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,009 You should give up black holes, 358 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:07,410 and we can totally solve crimes together! 359 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,204 Next message. 360 00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:10,805 Do you know what's great?! 361 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,968 Geology. 362 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:14,206 Woo! 363 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,083 Look at this geode! 364 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,368 That's fun to say! 365 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:23,809 Gee... ode! Gee... ode! 366 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,450 Next message. 367 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,642 Gee... ode! 368 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,607 Gee... ode! 369 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,967 I kiss girls now. 370 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:36,441 Next message. 371 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,570 Hey, guess who I am! Beep, bop, boop, bop! 372 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,927 I'm you! Get it?! 373 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,009 Next message. 374 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:48,170 Are you mad at me? 375 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,170 Oh, no, you're mad at me. 376 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,368 I am so sorry! 377 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,166 Beep, bop, boop, bop! 378 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,125 Next message. 379 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:03,127 Thiospinel sulfide. Thiospinel sulfide. 380 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,648 That's even more fun than gee... ode. 381 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,887 Hey, did you see The LEGO Movie? 382 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,926 What a jackass.