1
00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:06,246
I was unstoppable. I mean, I was on fire.

2
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:09,762
It was like my mind and my body
were totally connected.

3
00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:13,925
Like athletes must feel
when they're in the zone.

4
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,209
PENNY:
Again, it was miniature golf.

5
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,247
Admit it, you're a little turned on.

6
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,050
You can't be this proud.

7
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,761
- Why not?
- Because I beat you.

8
00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:28,926
- Hey.
- Hi.

9
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:30,605
Oh, good, you're back.

10
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,361
We have some exciting news.

11
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,405
Okay.

12
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:40,201
As you know, Amy and I
have been together a long time...

13
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:44,046
...and a lot of things
I never thought possible...

14
00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:45,929
...now seem possible.

15
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,768
Okay.

16
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,171
After a careful evaluation
of our relationship...

17
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:56,928
...we decided that the time was right
to take a step forward.

18
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,528
Okay.

19
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,725
Do you wanna say it?

20
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,048
Let's say it together.

21
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,170
- We're getting a turtle.
- We're getting a turtle.

22
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:20,325
See, this is why I've been saying
we should keep champagne on ice.

23
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,809
- Sarcasm?
- Yes.

24
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:26,248
That was tricky, because when it comes
to alcohol, she means business.

25
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,369
- Well, we're very happy for you.
- Yes.

26
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:34,764
Thank you.
Acquiring a joint pet is a big step for us.

27
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,924
No, it's true. It means that
we care so much about each other...

28
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,845
...there's enough left over
for an 8-ounce reptile.

29
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,406
Why a turtle?

30
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,803
Well, after much deliberation,
we've determined that a turtle...

31
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,286
...is the ideal pet.

32
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,569
They don't shed fur, they don't make noise...

33
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,405
For Halloween,
we can dress him as a cobblestone.

34
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:59,128
And if he ever goes berserk,
I know I can outrun him.

35
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:02,602
Coincidentally, that's also
why I chose you as a roommate.

36
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:04,846
Well, congratulations.

37
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,482
Who would've thought you would be
the first in our group to start a family?

38
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,931
That's what I said.

39
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,003
So where's your roommate tonight?

40
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,130
Well, I thought it was a little unfair
that she's always here...

41
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,487
...and you never get a chance
to stay over...

42
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,682
...so I killed her.

43
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:50,840
Remember our agreement.

44
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:56,211
You can joke about murdering people,
but you have to say "just kidding."

45
00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:00,564
And the more important thing to remember
is that I'd never hurt you.

46
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,249
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]

47
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:08,286
Oh, crap.

48
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:11,325
I have to run over to the hospital
and check on a patient.

49
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:15,048
- That's okay. I can come back later.
- No, no, don't be silly.

50
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,929
I won't be gone long. Just stay here.

51
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:21,251
Okay, cool. You're sure your roommate's
not gonna come back while I'm here alone?

52
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,004
Because that would be awkward.

53
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,527
- Don't worry, she's in Palm Springs.
- Oh, good.

54
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,882
Well, her torso is.

55
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,646
Just kidding.

56
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,850
I put her in a wood chipper.

57
00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,727
Oh, dear Lord. Oh, dear Lord.

58
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,564
It's okay.

59
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:45,520
- You made it, we're fine.
- That was a lot of puppies.

60
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:51,407
Let's forget about them
and pick ourselves out a nice turtle.

61
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,728
Oh, how about this one up on the log?

62
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:55,570
Oh, I don't know.

63
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:57,407
He looks like a jerk.

64
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:01,931
How about this one?

65
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,402
He's barely moving. He looks half dead.

66
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,961
I know. I like him too.

67
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:10,926
Hi, little guy.

68
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,921
How'd you like to come home with us?

69
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,721
You'll be living with me,
because we don't live in the same house.

70
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,120
But that's not your fault.

71
00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:22,529
Like you, we're taking it ridiculously slow.

72
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:28,806
You'll stay with me when he's at Comic-Con,
or away for work.

73
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:33,443
Yeah, or if they accept
Daddy's application to live on Mars.

74
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,443
What are you talking about?

75
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,241
Well, there's this company that's attempting
to establish a colony on Mars...

76
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,482
...and I applied to be among the first to go.

77
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,244
What should we name him?

78
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:48,286
You know, I came in thinking "Seth"...

79
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:51,446
...but he kind of looks Italian.

80
00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:55,762
You applied for a mission
to be a colonist on another planet...

81
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,968
...and couldn't be bothered to tell me?

82
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,610
Would you have approved?

83
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,000
Of course not.

84
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:07,001
Well, based on your reaction,
it looks like I made the right choice.

85
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,130
Isn't that right, Giuseppe?

86
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,450
Hey. Hey.

87
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,331
Listen, I have a little confession to make.

88
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,131
Aw. Is this your first time?

89
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:29,049
No, I got you something for Valentine's Day,
and I was too embarrassed to give it to you.

90
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,531
Well, why?

91
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:34,645
Because I got it at the dirty store.

92
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:38,290
You went to the dirty store without me?

93
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,450
In sunglasses and a hat
after I parked two blocks away.

94
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,728
- Well, get it. Get it for me.
- Yeah?

95
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,360
- Yeah.
- Okay. Uh, well, I hope it's fun.

96
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:51,809
It comes with paints
and it's kind of creative and artistic.

97
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,204
Okay, did you go to the dirty store,
or Michaels?

98
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,047
No, no, we cover ourselves in body paint...

99
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,727
...and then we get on this big canvas
and do our thing.

100
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:09,407
Whoa. It's kind of a big step for a guy
who only recently agreed to take his socks off.

101
00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:13,090
- You're making fun of me. Forget it.
- No. No, I wanna do it.

102
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,401
- Really?
- Yeah.

103
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:18,286
Let's you, me and your very, very pale feet
make some art.

104
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:19,527
[LEONARD CHUCKLES]

105
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,160
When you go back to the store,
I wanna go with you.

106
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:26,001
Okay. But it's a drive.
The one I went to is in San Diego.

107
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:31,323
- How are the taxes going?
- Okay.

108
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,643
But you got a lot of receipts
for the Lego Store in here.

109
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,603
Those are business expenses.
You can write those off.

110
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,725
A $200 R2-D2 is a business expense?

111
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:49,803
Oh, Bernie, you're gonna have to sound
a lot more confident when we get audited.

112
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:53,405
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

113
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,491
Hey. What's up?

114
00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:00,720
Oh, Emily ran back to the hospital,
so I'm just hanging out at her place.

115
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,202
- What are you, uh...? What are you doing?
- Just playing video games...

116
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,050
...while Bernie does the taxes.

117
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,487
What are you, a little kid?

118
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:11,564
Is she gonna cut your dinner
into little pieces too?

119
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:16,085
She doesn't have to,
I filled up on jelly beans.

120
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,561
So, uh, what game are you...?

121
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,121
Oh, crap.

122
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,765
- What's wrong?
- I can't get Emily's nightstand to close.

123
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,645
- So?
- She's gonna know I was looking in it.

124
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,848
Why were you looking in it?

125
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,925
Well, there's a question I better have
a good answer to before she gets back.

126
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:38,243
Okay, calm down.
There's probably something jammed behind it.

127
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,687
- Just pull it out and see what's there.
<i>- Hang on.</i>

128
00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,448
Oh, no. Oh, no.

129
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,648
<i>Oh, God, no.</i>

130
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,768
You know what? You sound busy.
I'm gonna let you go.

131
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,409
Dude, the whole front came off.
Now, she's gonna know I was snooping.

132
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,686
What's happening?

133
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,724
Raj was snooping through
Emily's drawers and broke one.

134
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,649
Aw. I'm gonna miss her.

135
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,365
So, what do you think?

136
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,844
I thought it'd be a little more...

137
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,968
Just more.

138
00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:21,721
I'm not even sure
why we were out of breath.

139
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,325
I mean, did we move at all?

140
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:28,685
Maybe along the Z axis...

141
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,162
...but X and Y are looking pretty sad.

142
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:36,731
Come on, we are not old, boring people.
We could do better than this.

143
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,287
That's true.
How late did we stay up last night?

144
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,968
Almost 1 a.m.

145
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,121
Damn straight, almost 1 a.m.

146
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:51,643
And we weren't even watching TV,
we were watching Netflix like the kids do.

147
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,846
Yeah. Is it a comedy? Is it a drama?
Nobody knows.

148
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,645
Come on. We are gonna do this.

149
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:03,249
You get the paint, I'll rest for 30 to 40 minutes,
and then we do this.

150
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:10,251
I can't believe you almost had me
bring a wild animal into my home.

151
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,807
No one told you to poke the turtle's face.

152
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,645
I was playing Got Your Nose.

153
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,530
That's how you get children to like you.

154
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,563
I'm surprised you care if he likes you...

155
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,644
...since you're leaving the planet
the first chance you get.

156
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,725
This again. Amy, I've already had
one new hole torn in my body today...

157
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,491
...I don't need another one.

158
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:38,403
Sheldon, I know the odds of you
even going to Mars are incredibly small...

159
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:41,245
...but it hurts that you would volunteer
for something...

160
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,448
...that would take you away from me forever.

161
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:45,885
You wouldn't leave me...

162
00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:49,567
...for the chance to be one of the first humans
to colonize another planet?

163
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,406
I would at least mention it
before filling out the application.

164
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:57,929
Huh. That's exactly what Leonard, Wolowitz,
Koothrappali, Bernadette and Penny said.

165
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:03,129
And who says you could even survive
an interplanetary mission anyway?

166
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,442
You could barely survive a tiny turtle bite.

167
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,605
First of all, this...

168
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,411
...has only made me stronger.

169
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:13,723
But beyond that,
all I did was fill out an application.

170
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:18,047
You know what? Go to Mars, Sheldon.

171
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,248
Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?

172
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:24,641
No, forget it.

173
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:29,128
- What if I play the <i>Star Trek</i> theme on my nose?
- Please don't.

174
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:32,206
[HUMMING "STAR TREK" THEME
THROUGH NOSE]

175
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:38,891
Yep, you're mad.

176
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:47,245
- Okay, let me see the damage.
RAJ: <i>Hang on.</i>

177
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,610
I think you broke the dowels.

178
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,331
You won't have time to glue it.
You'll have to nail it.

179
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,128
<i>- With what?</i>
- Does she have any pillows or wine glasses?

180
00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,325
- She does.
<i>- Great.</i>

181
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,046
Neither of those. Try a hammer!

182
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:08,164
Did that feel good?
You feel like a big man now?

183
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,845
I was going to make you Red Zinger...

184
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:20,046
...but since Mars is the red planet,
I went with peppermint.

185
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,409
Why do you even wanna do this?

186
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,569
Actually...

187
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:32,362
...as part of the application,
I was required to make a short video...

188
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,568
...answering that very question.

189
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,561
- You wanna see it?
- Can't you just tell me?

190
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,168
But I made a video.

191
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,124
SHELDON [ON VIDEO]:
<i>I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper...</i>

192
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:48,281
<i>...and I'd like to tell you
why I should be chosen to...</i>

193
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,521
[ECHOES]
<i>...go to Mars!</i>

194
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:56,203
<i>I'm exceedingly smart.
I graduated college at 14.</i>

195
00:11:56,400 --> 00:12:00,450
<i>While my brother was getting an STD,
I was getting a PhD.</i>

196
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,560
<i>Penicillin can't take this away.</i>

197
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:10,161
<i>Being in close quarters,
cleanliness is important.</i>

198
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:13,324
<i>And my hygiene is impeccable.</i>

199
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,528
<i>In fact, animals don't trust me...</i>

200
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,286
<i>...because I smell like nothing.</i>

201
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:19,566
[SNIFFS]

202
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,404
<i>Literally nothing.</i>

203
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:27,370
<i>During the seven-month space flight,
I can keep up morale...</i>

204
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,921
<i>...with my wacky sense of humor.</i>

205
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:33,401
<i>Hey, Leonard...</i>

206
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:36,610
<i>...is there any peanut brittle left in that can?</i>

207
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,604
<i>You mean this weirdly suspicious one?</i>

208
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,730
<i>Yes. Open it and check.</i>

209
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,605
<i>I don't get it. There's actually peanut brittle...</i>

210
00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:59,921
<i>Please go to Mars.</i>

211
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,085
<i>But on a more serious note...</i>

212
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,720
<i>...the most important reason
I wanna go to Mars...</i>

213
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:08,360
<i>...is that I believe, as a scientist...</i>

214
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:13,128
<i>...it's my duty to push the boundaries
of human knowledge forward.</i>

215
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:16,284
<i>Now, I know that life on Mars will be difficult.</i>

216
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:19,245
<i>But life here on Earth is no picnic.</i>

217
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,090
<i>Also, picnics are no picnic.</i>

218
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:26,203
<i>"Where should we go for lunch?
Oh, I know, the ground."</i>

219
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,291
<i>In conclusion,
thank you for considering me...</i>

220
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,171
<i>...for this journey of a lifetime.</i>

221
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,485
[ECHOES]
<i>To Mars.</i>

222
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:43,690
Afterwards, Leonard blew his nose
and pie came out.

223
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,129
LEONARD:
Right there.

224
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,248
Right there. Oh, God, that's it.

225
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:59,528
- How did you get paint in your eye?
- You wouldn't let me wear safety goggles.

226
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,007
This looks terrible. She... She's gonna know.

227
00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:09,640
<i>It's fine. You just need two more nails.</i>

228
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:13,088
- Okay, where should I put them?
<i>- In Emily's eyes.</i>

229
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,165
You're not helping.

230
00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:18,808
<i>Well, maybe this is what you get
for snooping.</i>

231
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,048
- It's bad enough that I have to deal...
EMILY: Raj?

232
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,170
- I'm back.
- Oh, no.

233
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,525
- Hey.
- Hi.

234
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,840
How...? How's the hospital?

235
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:32,891
Fine. What were you doing in there?

236
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,568
Uh, we... Well...

237
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,800
Look, I don't wanna lie to you.
I got curious, I was looking around...

238
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,201
...and I broke the drawer on your nightstand.

239
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,485
- You were looking in my nightstand?
- Yeah.

240
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:51,202
So the first time I leave you alone,
you snoop on me?

241
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:54,846
- You've never snooped around my apartment?
- No.

242
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:59,287
Come on, think back.
It would really help if you had.

243
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,883
EMILY: <i>I can't believe you don't trust me.</i>
- She sounds really mad.

244
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:09,049
- We should hang up.
- Yeah, we should.

245
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,090
- But we're not going to, are we?
- Not a chance.

246
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,766
What happened to "snooping is wrong"?

247
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,208
Oh, we're already going to jail for tax fraud.
Who cares?

248
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,048
Well, we did it.

249
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:25,890
We sure did.

250
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:27,724
I mean, I was on fire.

251
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,087
I was in the zone like an athlete.

252
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:32,648
Sweetie, I beat you at this too.

253
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,251
So where do we wanna hang it?

254
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,562
What, are you kidding?
We're not hanging it.

255
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,604
But it's an expression of our love.

256
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,087
And our butts. Not hanging it.

257
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,562
Seems a shame to throw it away.

258
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,605
Yeah.

259
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:52,442
Oh. We can give it to Sheldon
and tell him William Shatner painted it.

260
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,406
God, I love you. I love you so much.

261
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,408
I think I'm gonna go home.

262
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,210
Why?

263
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,486
I really don't understand
what's happening here.

264
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,450
You know, Sheldon, at any other time...

265
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,286
...learning that you had plans to go live
on Mars would be a slow news day.

266
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:19,566
But a couple of hours ago,
we were getting a turtle.

267
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,166
And silly as it sounds...

268
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,966
...I thought that meant something.

269
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:27,844
Amy.

270
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,642
Why didn't I give her Sleepytime tea?

271
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:34,680
Amy, wait.

272
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,764
Getting a turtle meant a great deal to me too.

273
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,605
Sure. Unless something better comes along.

274
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,247
Do you want me to withdraw my application?

275
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:50,010
What I want is for us to be
planning our future together.

276
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,526
And in that future...

277
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,409
...are we on the same planet?

278
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,763
Because I've seen people
make the long-distance thing work.

279
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,524
- We're on the same planet!
- Okay.

280
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,602
Does that planet have to be Earth?

281
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:12,249
Are you asking me to go to Mars with you?

282
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:13,846
I am.

283
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:18,002
Yeah, if I'm going to a barren,
lifeless environment...

284
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:22,370
...where the chances of survival
are slim to none...

285
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,050
...I want you there with me.

286
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:33,011
Why don't we go back to the apartment
and fill out your application?

287
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,289
Okay.

288
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,245
I suppose being the first people
on a new planet...

289
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:40,890
...would be incredibly exciting.

290
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,845
I know.

291
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:46,408
We could be the first
to plant a flag on Mars.

292
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:50,042
We could be the first
to watch <i>Mars Attacks!</i> on Mars.

293
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,291
We could be the first to say:

294
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,489
"Good Lord.
What on Mars are you talking about?"

295
00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:02,245
You know, we could also be
the first people to procreate on Mars.

296
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:07,089
You just can't keep it in your space pants,
can you?

297
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:13,563
Think about it. If we had a family there,
our kids would be Martians.

298
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:18,410
They would, wouldn't they?

299
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,561
We could give them cool Martian names...

300
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,961
...and we could teach them
about Martian history.

301
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:25,844
Like, "Who planted those flags?"

302
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,931
And, uh, "Where'd that copy
of <i>Mars Attacks!</i> come from?"

303
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,490
I guess we'll have to make
a new video together as a couple.

304
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,931
Good idea. Yeah...

305
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,761
And since you've had such a rough day...

306
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,321
...I'm gonna let you throw the pie
in Leonard's face.

307
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,210
- Thank you for forgiving me.
- It's okay.

308
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,880
At some point,
we were bound to have our first fight.

309
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:59,849
Well, it almost happened
when you called my apple-pie crust doughy.

310
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:05,641
The truth is you were right,
and I was just angry at myself.

311
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,803
Can I ask you one thing?

312
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,206
Of course. What?

313
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,809
Did you look in my closet?

314
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,884
- No, just the drawer.
- You promise you didn't look in the closet?

315
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,327
I promise. Why, what's in there?

316
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,403
Don't worry about it.

317
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,525
Good night.

318
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,042
[English - US - SDH]