1
00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:05,522
Leonard, what time
does your mom get in?
2
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,923
- I don't know. Tomorrow morning?
- Don't you want to know for sure?
3
00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:11,327
As soon as she flies
into California airspace...
4
00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:14,364
...I'll feel a disturbance in the Force.
5
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:18,724
It's so nice both of your moms are
coming in to see you guys get an award.
6
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,846
Well, my mother's been there
for every honor I've won...
7
00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:25,402
...since I beat out my twin sister
for the "Did It On The Potty" trophy.
8
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,971
- How does this look?
- Aw, it's so nice. She's gonna love it.
9
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:32,244
Sure, his mom gets roses.
10
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:36,240
When I want them they're a
"bouquet of severed plant genitals."
11
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:41,162
You act like I didn't get you
that mushroom log on Valentine's Day.
12
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,969
He's right, roses die,
but a moist, rotting log...
13
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:48,767
...will pump out mushrooms
for two or three magical years.
14
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:51,366
Your mom's never been thrilled
with our relationship.
15
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,046
Maybe I should get her something
so she warms up to me.
16
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:57,961
If you could run out and get a PhD,
that might make her like you.
17
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,521
- Really? It didn't work for you.
LEONARD: Mm-hm.
18
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,609
- Think the moms will get along?
- They're pretty different.
19
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,489
Maybe they'll be best friends.
20
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,411
One of them is brilliant.
One is sweet and simple.
21
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,489
Sound familiar?
22
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:41,729
Shelly, I'm so proud of you
and Leonard for getting this award.
23
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,241
- Thank you, Mother.
- I tried to read your paper...
24
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,846
...but it was very hard for me to understand.
25
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:48,844
It's quite straight-forward, actually.
26
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,846
It describes a new model of
the universe that conceptualizes it...
27
00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,281
...as the surface of
an n-dimensional superfluid.
28
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,244
Interesting. You can believe that...
29
00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:03,288
...but God filling an Ark with
animals two-by-two is nonsense.
30
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,522
What did they feed the lions, Mother?
31
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:12,565
The floating bodies
of drowned sinners, of course.
32
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:21,043
Listen, Leonard's mom is a renowned
psychiatrist and woman of science.
33
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:25,251
Can you please keep the Bible babble
to yourself while she's here?
34
00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:29,286
- Are you ashamed of me?
- Of course not, I love you.
35
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:34,407
I'm just embarrassed by
the things you believe, do and say.
36
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:39,927
Well, I love you too.
37
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,201
My little bowl of lion chow.
38
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,762
So have you and Penny
set a wedding date?
39
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,327
No, we're kind of taking it slow.
40
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,289
I see.
41
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:57,646
What does that mean?
42
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,650
You've been on and off
with this woman for seven years...
43
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:04,811
...and engaged for one year.
One has to wonder if there's a problem.
44
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,083
Are you having satisfactory intercourse?
45
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,368
Yes, Mother.
46
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:17,043
BEVERLY:
Only satisfactory, I see.
47
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:22,408
I change my answer. It's amazing, it's hot.
48
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,524
We can barely keep
our hands off each other.
49
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:31,161
Seems odd to try and impress
your mother with your sexual prowess.
50
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:35,890
But then you always did have
that unresolved Oedipal complex.
51
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,048
See, this right here, what you're doing...
52
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,925
...can you please not do that
around Sheldon's mom?
53
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,885
BEVERLY:
Why, are you attracted to her too?
54
00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:48,645
Of course not. She's just
a very sweet and God-fearing lady...
55
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,041
...and you have to be
respectful of her beliefs.
56
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,931
Leonard, I'm an adult,
I know how to conduct myself...
57
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,521
...around people
from different walks of life.
58
00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:58,529
- Thank you.
- Where is she from again?
59
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,768
- East Texas.
- Ugh.
60
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,285
Hey, look who's here.
61
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,201
Dr. Hofstadter, it's so good to see you again.
62
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,882
Likewise. I read your paper,
it was very impressive.
63
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,731
- Thank you.
- We just spent two hours in traffic.
64
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:20,163
Did you think to mention to me
that you liked our paper?
65
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:24,041
Of course I did. But it's a mother's job
to make sure her child's self-esteem...
66
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:26,328
...is not dependent on anyone's approval.
67
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,085
That's so sweet,
you think I have self-esteem.
68
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,086
Dr. Hofstadter, I want you to
meet my mother, Mary.
69
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,328
- So nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too.
70
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,887
- How was your flight?
- Very pleasant. And yours?
71
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,606
Lovely. Almost as if someone...
Not saying who.
72
00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:45,320
...was watching over the plane.
73
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,770
You're kidding, right?
74
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,966
Subtle, Mom. Real subtle.
75
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:03,008
- Stuart...
- Morning.
76
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:05,564
We talked about this.
77
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,286
I don't mind you living here,
but we gotta have rules.
78
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,448
And rule number one is pants.
79
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,929
Hey.
80
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,043
You must be very proud of your son.
81
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:26,565
Oh, yes. He recently argued
a case before the Supreme Court.
82
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,689
He did?
83
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,967
Oh, you mean this son.
84
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,801
Sure, he's terrific.
85
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,284
Beverly, would you like
to see the math I worked out...
86
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,085
...to support our hypothesis?
87
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,971
You mean my hypothesis.
I hypothesized it all by myself.
88
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,123
Calm down, dear.
89
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,961
Mary, I'm curious,
when did you first realize...
90
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,328
...that your son had
such a remarkable mind?
91
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,449
Oh, good question.
92
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:58,281
Everyone loves stories
about Sheldon Cooper, boy genius.
93
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,684
Well, I have to say when he was 13...
94
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,810
...and tried to build
a nuclear reactor in the tool shed.
95
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,765
Oh, this is a good one.
96
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,569
First thing you have to know
about Shelly is, since he was little...
97
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:14,321
...he was always concerned
with the well-being of others.
98
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:20,642
And he didn't think that it was fair
for people to pay for electricity...
99
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:24,162
...so he was gonna power
the entire town for free.
100
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,328
Tell her about the uranium!
101
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,763
Oh, well. Oh, this is adorable.
102
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:33,328
When he arranged to
get some yellow cake from Chad...
103
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:37,366
...I thought he was talking about
Twinkies from one of his friends.
104
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:42,525
But I wasn't because
I didn't have any friends.
105
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,205
[LAUGHS]
106
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:48,601
It turns out that this little scallywag
was trying to use my Visa card...
107
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:51,491
...to buy uranium from an African warlord...
108
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,166
...in the country of Chad.
109
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,369
Sounds like Sheldon was a handful.
110
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,051
Oh, he was a handful.
111
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,487
I was a handful.
112
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,043
You still are.
113
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,322
Mom, tell Mary the story...
114
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:14,000
...about how I made
a Van de Graaff generator...
115
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:15,844
...out of our vacuum cleaner.
116
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:20,525
All right.
He broke the vacuum cleaner.
117
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,285
[GUNFIRE AND SWORD SWOOSHING
ON TV]
118
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,721
For a while, everything was vampires...
119
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,365
...now it's all zombies.
120
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,040
I wonder what the next monster fad will be.
121
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,607
We haven't had
a good invisible man in a while.
122
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,366
Clearly you've never seen me
try to talk to a woman.
123
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,242
Guys, in the time you've been
sitting here playing video games...
124
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,569
...I got the car washed,
picked up supplies and went to the bank.
125
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,842
I put on pants.
126
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,529
Kiss ass.
127
00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,442
Okay, I don't know
when I became the mother...
128
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,807
...to three lazy teenagers,
but it stops today.
129
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,441
You guys are cleaning
the kitchen, top to bottom.
130
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,331
Hey, I don't even live here.
131
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,247
Yes or no, do you have clothes
in my laundry now?
132
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,565
I do.
133
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,964
And some of it is wool,
so dry flat if possible.
134
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:22,123
Here's a picture of me receiving
my Bachelor of Science degree.
135
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,970
You don't look very happy.
136
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,487
Well, I had just begun puberty...
137
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:32,849
It was figuratively and literally
one of the hairiest moments of my life.
138
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,288
Shelly does not like change.
139
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,767
True, but all the clenching in the world...
140
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,645
...will not keep testicles in your abdomen.
141
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,643
Hey, sorry, I got caught up at work.
142
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,002
- Hi, Beverly.
- Hello.
143
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,889
Oh, okay.
144
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:52,160
Sorry, I forgot.
145
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,482
- You remember my mother.
- Oh, yes. Hi, Mary.
146
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,881
MARY:
Good to see you again, dear.
147
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,491
That's what I'm talking about.
148
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,640
So, Mom, you haven't seen Penny
since we got engaged.
149
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,127
- Here, let me show you the ring.
- Oh.
150
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,846
Lovely. Must've been very expensive.
151
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,924
Oh, no. Not at all.
We found a place online...
152
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:14,966
...that repurposes diamond drill bits.
153
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,523
We did not, that's not true.
154
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,528
Can I speak to you alone for a second?
155
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,170
Oh, sure.
156
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,328
It came from Tiffany's.
157
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,841
- You mean the box, right?
- Keep walking.
158
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,806
It really doesn't matter to me
how much he spent on the ring.
159
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,650
I think.
160
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,204
Did I misspeak about the ring?
161
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,926
Yes, and we'll get back to that.
162
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,565
Even with your mother here...
163
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,564
...you're deliberately hogging
all the attention from my mom.
164
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,723
You're like those elephant seal pups...
165
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,440
...that steals the milk from two mothers.
166
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:55,921
Do you mean what marine biologists
refer to as super weaning?
167
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,044
Yes, you are a super weaner!
168
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,323
Well, now I have to correct you.
169
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,251
As a bit of an elephant seal buff...
170
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:10,962
...the more accurate comparison
would be when two mother seals...
171
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:13,322
...actively seek to nourish the same pup.
172
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,522
So I believe the term you're looking for...
173
00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,650
...is a "double mother suckler."
174
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,921
You're right.
That is the term I'm looking for.
175
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:26,448
You are a dirty double mother suckler.
176
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,764
Okay. Now that we have
the terminology straightened out...
177
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,610
...how dare you?
178
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,051
Not in a rush.
We'll set a date when the time's right.
179
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:39,605
It doesn't matter, sweetie.
180
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,731
The moment a man lays with a woman,
they are married in the eyes of the Lord.
181
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,006
BEVERLY:
Ugh.
182
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:54,251
"Ugh"? The Bible is "ugh" to you?
183
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,408
No, I'm sorry, that was inappropriate.
184
00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:02,209
As a psychiatrist, I know how important
people's superstitions can be to them.
185
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,682
You wanna talk about superstitions?
Sheldon sent me the books you wrote.
186
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:10,360
All that nonsense
about super-egos and ids.
187
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,888
What bull dropped that on the barn floor?
188
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,801
His name is Sigmund Freud.
189
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:20,891
Hey, look at that.
You both believe in Jewish bearded guys.
190
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,721
Stay out of this.
PENNY: Mm-hm.
191
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:29,605
At least the bearded man that I believe in
preaches love and compassion.
192
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,371
All yours talks about is
why you hold in your poop...
193
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:35,450
...and wanna crawl back inside your mama.
194
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,881
It's fascinating. How can someone
as enlightened as Sheldon...
195
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,651
...come from someone like you?
196
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,088
I know the answer, you're not gonna like it.
197
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,768
- Try me.
- When I was pregnant with Shelly...
198
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:54,884
...I was driving to church,
and I was praying to the Lord...
199
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:58,368
...to give me a son
smarter than his dumb-ass daddy.
200
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:02,523
And I looked over
and I saw a Jesus bobblehead...
201
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:06,725
...in the Subaru next to me nodding "Yes."
202
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,690
What is that supposed to mean?
203
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:18,367
It means I can't believe
we're having this conversation.
204
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:19,925
Well, do it some more.
205
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:23,488
Maybe you can knock
some sense into yourself.
206
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,768
How about we all stop hitting ourselves...
207
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,201
...and talk about
something safe like shoes...
208
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,085
...or how cute little Chinese babies are.
209
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,329
It's not my fault your mother
likes me better than she likes you!
210
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:38,360
Don't flatter yourself! She likes
everybody better than she likes me!
211
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,524
How old is this Jell-O?
212
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:50,566
Well, it's carrots, so I'm gonna say very.
213
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,045
Sorry we have to do this.
214
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,570
Bernadette's not wrong.
She does work hard around here.
215
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,684
Yeah, maybe it's a good thing
if she stops babying you so much.
216
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:02,763
She doesn't baby me.
217
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,201
I saw her pull you home in a wagon.
218
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,686
For your information, I twisted my ankle
chasing the ice cream truck.
219
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:15,042
Face it, dude, Bernadette treats you
the same way your mother used to...
220
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,447
...and that was not a healthy relationship.
221
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,129
You're right, it's time for me...
222
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,443
...to act like an adult in this marriage.
223
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,291
Starting with my husbandly duty...
224
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:32,529
...of taking out the trash.
225
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,608
Bernie, I made a mess!
226
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,289
I'm terribly sorry that I upset your mother.
227
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,124
It's all right, she'll forgive you.
228
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,529
She has to or she goes to hell.
229
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:58,046
I can't help but notice
how her unconditional love for you...
230
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:01,881
...is diametrically opposed
to my own parenting strategies.
231
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:07,530
Well, you doled out affection
as a reward for achievement...
232
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:12,044
...a proven way to
raise a child or train a rat.
233
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,444
But look how well you turned out.
234
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:18,486
I'd feign modesty at this point,
but who would believe me?
235
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:23,283
Still, you need to consider how successful
Leonard's brother and sister are.
236
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,084
I suppose.
237
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:29,171
While my brother and sister
are mouth-breathing idiots.
238
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,848
Do you suppose
you would've flourished more...
239
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,684
...in a reward-based environment?
240
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,851
Perhaps. But my mom made me
spaghetti with chopped-up hot dogs...
241
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,805
...whenever I wanted, so who cares?
242
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:47,687
Not once did my mother
ever give me any love or affection...
243
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,201
...for just being myself.
I always had to earn it.
244
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,244
Oh, Leonard, I'm sure
she loves you very much.
245
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,842
In her own cold, godless way.
246
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,761
Yeah, and you certainly
don't have to earn my love.
247
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,167
- Thank you.
- Of course, you already knew that...
248
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,603
...when you bought me this
princess-cut drill bit.
249
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:11,086
- That's not what it is.
- I know, I know.
250
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,209
[PENNY IMITATES DRILL WHIRRING]
251
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,607
When your mom gets back,
I need to apologize...
252
00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,171
...for the way I spoke to her.
253
00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:20,124
Come on, she did kind of start it.
254
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,051
A good Christian would've
turned the other cheek.
255
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:26,926
On the other hand,
a good Texan would've shot her, so...
256
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,241
I kind of split the difference.
257
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,571
Hey, who's in the mood
for spaghetti and hot dogs?
258
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:36,886
- Oh, me!
- Yeah, me too!
259
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,884
Coming up.
260
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:42,091
I don't really feel I deserve it.
261
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,691
That was a big sticky mess...
262
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,571
- ...but I think I got it.
- Looks good.
263
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,331
Look at that,
you cleaned it up all by yourself.
264
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,201
Yes, I cleaned it up all by myself.
265
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,244
Honestly, I don't know why you complain...
266
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,964
Okay, maybe I missed one spot.
267
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,050
Just leave.
268
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,721
I'm so glad you and I
were able to bury the hatchet.
269
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:19,009
Me too. And I respect
your right to your beliefs.
270
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,288
And I will pray for you.
271
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,728
Okay. Mom, let's get you
back to your hotel...
272
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,610
...before anyone says anything else.
273
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:31,287
One moment, there's something
I need to say to you.
274
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,960
Oh, really? That's too bad.
275
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,642
Leonard, I always
made you earn my affection...
276
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:41,970
...but today I realized that there's
more than one way to raise a child.
277
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,686
I taught her that.
278
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:48,363
Therefore I would like to
initiate a new protocol...
279
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:50,961
...wherein I shower you...
280
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,731
...with unconditional love.
281
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,600
Wow. When does that start?
282
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,603
So needy.
283
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,002
Come to Mommy.
284
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,041
It's okay. Go ahead.
285
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:20,482
Oh, my son.
286
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,887
Oh, my mother.
287
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,442
Oh, my God.
288
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,684
[WHISTLING TUNE]
289
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:47,045
[HUMMING TUNE]
290
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:54,044
[SINGING]
It's the hard-knock life
291
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,362
ALL [SINGING]:
It's the hard-knock life for us
292
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:02,524
It's the hard-knock life for us
293
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,445
Instead of treated, we get tricked
294
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,564
Instead of kisses, we get kicked
295
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,371
It's the hard-knock life
296
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,484
Got no folks to speak of, so
297
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,724
It's the hard-knock row we hoe
298
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,242
Cotton blanket 'stead of wool
299
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:24,171
Empty bellies 'stead of full
300
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,880
It's the hard-knock life
301
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,442
[English - US - SDH]