1 00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:03,588 HOWARD: Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 2 00:00:04,589 --> 00:00:06,132 Well, there was this girl. 3 00:00:08,093 --> 00:00:09,678 - What did you do? - Nothing! 4 00:00:10,095 --> 00:00:12,138 Really, it was just kissing. 5 00:00:14,766 --> 00:00:15,767 (SIGHS) 6 00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:19,479 - All right. - So we're still getting married? 7 00:00:21,606 --> 00:00:22,607 Yes. 8 00:00:24,651 --> 00:00:25,944 Because we love each other. 9 00:00:26,820 --> 00:00:27,862 Yes. 10 00:00:28,321 --> 00:00:30,699 And it's the happiest day of our lives. 11 00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:32,325 (LAUGHS) Don't push it. 12 00:00:34,786 --> 00:00:36,204 I need some time 13 00:00:36,621 --> 00:00:39,624 to take a step back and re-evaluate our situation. 14 00:00:42,252 --> 00:00:43,253 Oh. 15 00:00:43,503 --> 00:00:44,754 Bye, Sheldon. 16 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,342 Well, Gollum... 17 00:00:52,137 --> 00:00:53,888 You're an expert on rings. 18 00:00:55,765 --> 00:00:57,308 What do I do with this one? 19 00:01:01,604 --> 00:01:02,981 So what package are you thinking? 20 00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,066 Mmm, this one comes with music and flowers. 21 00:01:05,442 --> 00:01:08,069 Oh, they even stream the whole thing live on the Internet. 22 00:01:08,653 --> 00:01:09,821 Why would we want that? 23 00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:12,407 'Cause there's a lot of gorgeous blondes out there 24 00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:14,993 who don't believe they can land a short, nearsighted scientist. 25 00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:16,453 Let's give them hope. 26 00:01:17,996 --> 00:01:19,330 Whatever, put us on the Internet. 27 00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:21,624 I always wanted a wedding with a comments section. 28 00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:26,004 Hey, if you're not into this, we can do it another time. 29 00:01:26,296 --> 00:01:27,338 No. 30 00:01:27,505 --> 00:01:30,550 No, I want to. Look, we've put this off long enough. Let's do it. 31 00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:34,512 Aw! It's exactly what you said the first time we slept together. 32 00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:35,805 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 33 00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:37,766 Oh, excuse me. 34 00:01:38,683 --> 00:01:40,226 It's Sheldon. Hey. 35 00:01:40,393 --> 00:01:43,354 - Leonard, have you gotten married yet? - No, why? 36 00:01:43,563 --> 00:01:45,273 - Good, don't do it! - Why not? 37 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,609 Some important new information has come to light. 38 00:01:47,776 --> 00:01:49,152 Women are the worst. 39 00:01:50,612 --> 00:01:52,322 I thought it was paper cuts, but I was wrong. 40 00:01:52,489 --> 00:01:54,115 No piece of paper ever cut me this deep. 41 00:01:55,825 --> 00:01:56,868 What happened now? 42 00:01:58,453 --> 00:02:00,205 Amy has ended our relationship. 43 00:02:00,914 --> 00:02:02,791 - Oh, no. Seriously? - What's going on? 44 00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,209 Amy broke up with Sheldon. 45 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,376 She did? 46 00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:06,669 Is Penny crying? 47 00:02:08,046 --> 00:02:09,881 - No. - No, of course not. 48 00:02:10,048 --> 00:02:11,508 They thrive on our suffering. 49 00:02:13,343 --> 00:02:16,095 Buddy, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do? 50 00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:18,681 Yes. If I ever talk about going out with a girl again, 51 00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:21,851 roll your eyes at me like I do to you when you say dumb things. 52 00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:26,189 Sheldon, okay. Just because you're going through this with Amy 53 00:02:26,356 --> 00:02:27,899 doesn't mean all women are bad. 54 00:02:28,066 --> 00:02:29,234 Whatever. 55 00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:33,404 Hey, I just heard about you and Sheldon, are you okay? 56 00:02:34,072 --> 00:02:35,782 Not really, can you come over? 57 00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:39,661 Uh, actually, I'm in Vegas. Leonard and I are about to get married. 58 00:02:40,745 --> 00:02:43,581 Hold on. You're getting married and you didn't invite me? 59 00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:46,251 Well, it was kind of a spur of the moment thing. 60 00:02:46,668 --> 00:02:47,669 Wow. 61 00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:49,796 Hope I can catch the bouquet from here. 62 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,258 Amy, don't be like that. 63 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,176 Why did I just hear Amy's name? 64 00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:56,427 Penny's on the phone with her. 65 00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:59,180 Did she say anything about me? Never mind, I don't care. 66 00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:01,391 Well, if you care, you can find out and tell me. 67 00:03:01,558 --> 00:03:03,434 Just don't be shocked when you find out I don't care. 68 00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:07,355 Okay, will you relax? You're not missing anything special. 69 00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:09,774 Hey. 70 00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:12,777 She's upset. Look, it's gonna be a great wedding. 71 00:03:12,944 --> 00:03:14,320 Look at you in your little suit. 72 00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:17,407 Amy's upset? Is it about me? 73 00:03:17,574 --> 00:03:19,117 No, I think it's because we're eloping. 74 00:03:19,868 --> 00:03:22,620 Your marriage is causing her pain? Yeah, great, I take it back. 75 00:03:22,787 --> 00:03:24,455 Go ahead and do it. Yay for love. 76 00:03:25,707 --> 00:03:26,958 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 77 00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:53,902 - Hello. - Oh! 78 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:56,821 What are you doing here? 79 00:03:57,447 --> 00:03:59,657 When last we spoke, you said you needed time. 80 00:04:00,992 --> 00:04:02,577 Well, it's only been 11 hours. 81 00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:05,830 The Lord of the Rings trilogy was nearly 11 hours. 82 00:04:05,997 --> 00:04:07,957 I made you watch that, you said it was an eternity. 83 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:12,378 Sheldon, when I'm ready to talk, I'll let you know. 84 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:13,755 Very well. 85 00:04:14,464 --> 00:04:16,007 You seem to be headed somewhere. 86 00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:17,592 May I walk with you? 87 00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,511 Sure. 88 00:04:22,347 --> 00:04:23,973 Boy am I glad we're going out again. 89 00:04:25,725 --> 00:04:27,352 We're not back together. 90 00:04:27,644 --> 00:04:29,604 Why? Well, is there someone else? 91 00:04:29,771 --> 00:04:32,607 Just couldn't wait to put that first notch on your bedpost, could you? 92 00:04:34,025 --> 00:04:37,570 If you must know, I'm going to Howard and Bernadette's to watch the wedding. 93 00:04:37,737 --> 00:04:38,905 And who's this guy you're taking? 94 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,114 There's no guy! 95 00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:42,200 Oh, you're going to a wedding alone? That's sad. 96 00:04:43,493 --> 00:04:45,787 I'm not gonna be alone, I'll be with my friends. 97 00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:48,623 Your friends. Well, I think you mean my friends. 98 00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:50,500 And why wasn't I invited to this? 99 00:04:50,667 --> 00:04:54,379 Maybe because the two of us being there would make them feel awkward. 100 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:57,882 We make everyone feel awkward. That's our thing! 101 00:05:00,593 --> 00:05:02,136 They're running a little behind. Should be pretty soon. 102 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,388 Okay. 103 00:05:03,638 --> 00:05:07,141 Hey, if you're hungry there's a breakfast buffet at the strip club next door. 104 00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:11,396 Thanks, but I don't like glitter on my scrambled eggs. 105 00:05:13,106 --> 00:05:15,608 I don't think the strippers prepare the meal, but okay. 106 00:05:18,903 --> 00:05:22,573 Look, it's not how I pictured it, either, but I'm still glad we're doing it. 107 00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:24,325 - Me, too. - You sure? 108 00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:26,744 - Yes. - And you promise you're okay 109 00:05:26,911 --> 00:05:27,996 with everything from the car? 110 00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:29,580 Oh, my God, would you stop bringing it up? 111 00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:30,915 You're right. I'm sorry. 112 00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:35,336 We have the rest of our lives to dredge up stuff from the past and fight about it. 113 00:05:38,423 --> 00:05:40,758 So what do you think? Should we run next door and grab a bite? 114 00:05:41,134 --> 00:05:42,385 Well, what if they call our names? 115 00:05:42,552 --> 00:05:44,846 Don't worry, they gave me this vibrating coaster. 116 00:05:46,639 --> 00:05:48,558 Oh, and the fairytale continues. 117 00:05:52,687 --> 00:05:54,772 - Thank you for doing this. - Our pleasure. 118 00:05:55,273 --> 00:05:56,274 You feeling okay? 119 00:05:56,774 --> 00:06:00,570 We were together for so long, I honestly don't know what I'm feeling. 120 00:06:01,029 --> 00:06:04,532 Well, that's understandable. You forgot. It's called "happy". 121 00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:08,619 - Howard. - I'm not saying anything bad. 122 00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:11,372 Just that she was in love with her captor and somehow managed to escape 123 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,041 from his dark and crazy dungeon. 124 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:18,713 I know what you're going through, my last breakup was pretty tough. 125 00:06:19,297 --> 00:06:21,215 Oh. What was her name? 126 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,760 Hey, it's a true story. I don't need the third degree! 127 00:06:25,678 --> 00:06:26,679 (GASPS) 128 00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:32,143 For God's sake. Sheldon, what are you doing? 129 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:36,522 I didn't want to come in. I was told it would make everyone feel uncomfortable. 130 00:06:37,148 --> 00:06:40,651 So I'll just stay out here and pretend that I don't have to go to the bathroom. 131 00:06:44,864 --> 00:06:47,408 - Howard, do something. - I'm on it. 132 00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:58,836 Sheldon, you being here might not be making things better. 133 00:06:59,504 --> 00:07:03,216 I see. And is that why everybody was invited but me? 134 00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:05,384 They didn't invite everybody but you. 135 00:07:05,718 --> 00:07:08,429 Bernadette invited me and Stuart lives here. 136 00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,848 Who wants hot cinnamon rolls? 137 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:18,189 So, when you hear the music, that's your cue. Any questions? 138 00:07:19,023 --> 00:07:22,860 The package we paid for said the aisle was supposed to be strewn with rose petals? 139 00:07:23,194 --> 00:07:25,279 - Where are the rose petals? - WOMAN: We're out. 140 00:07:25,780 --> 00:07:26,948 You know what, it's fine. 141 00:07:27,365 --> 00:07:29,826 WOMAN: We can use the potpourri from the bathroom. 142 00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:30,993 Okay. 143 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,788 - Really, we're good. - Yep, just wanna get married. 144 00:07:33,955 --> 00:07:35,706 - Yeah. - Great, I'll see you two up there. 145 00:07:39,377 --> 00:07:40,670 - This is it. - I know. 146 00:07:43,339 --> 00:07:44,340 I love you. 147 00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:45,758 I love you, too. 148 00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:48,594 WOMAN: Was that a yes or no on the potpourri? 149 00:07:48,761 --> 00:07:50,346 - No thank you. - We're good. 150 00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:56,060 Raj, you're probably wondering why 151 00:07:56,227 --> 00:07:58,646 Amy and I aren't showing any affection to one another. 152 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,399 Didn't even crack the top ten. 153 00:08:03,860 --> 00:08:06,237 Well, you should know she recently broke up with me. 154 00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:08,614 I said I needed time to think. 155 00:08:09,574 --> 00:08:11,242 I'm sure you guys will figure something out. 156 00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:13,953 You hear that? Raj is devastated. 157 00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:17,081 Sheldon, shh, the wedding's starting. 158 00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,876 I see what's happening. Sides are forming. 159 00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:22,253 Well, if Bernadette's on Amy's team, I pick Howard. 160 00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,714 - I'm not taking sides. - Fine, I guess I'm stuck with Raj. 161 00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,341 - Really? - At least you got picked. 162 00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:33,806 Before I go any further, have either of you prepared your own vows? 163 00:08:34,015 --> 00:08:35,099 LEONARD: Yes. PENNY: No. 164 00:08:37,059 --> 00:08:38,603 - You wrote vows? - Yeah. 165 00:08:40,146 --> 00:08:42,273 I don't have any, you're kind of making me look bad. 166 00:08:44,275 --> 00:08:46,110 It's okay, I don't have to say them. 167 00:08:46,277 --> 00:08:49,405 No, go ahead. I'll come up with something mushy, you'll cry. We got this. 168 00:08:51,616 --> 00:08:52,617 Penny. 169 00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,744 "We are made of particles that have existed 170 00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:56,579 "since the moment the universe began. 171 00:08:57,622 --> 00:08:59,290 "I like to think those atoms traveled 172 00:08:59,457 --> 00:09:02,543 "14 billion years through time and space to create us 173 00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:06,297 "so that we could be together and make each other whole." 174 00:09:07,632 --> 00:09:08,633 Wow. 175 00:09:10,426 --> 00:09:11,469 Penny? 176 00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,931 Right, um, okay. 177 00:09:18,351 --> 00:09:19,769 Leonard. Um... 178 00:09:20,478 --> 00:09:22,688 You're not only the love of my life, I mean, you're my best friend. 179 00:09:23,064 --> 00:09:24,065 And... 180 00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:27,735 (RECITING "YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME" FROM TOY STORY) 181 00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,133 Is that the song from Toy Story? 182 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,927 - He loves that movie. - (VOICE BREAKING) I do. 183 00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:58,599 - Aw, that was beautiful. - Yeah. 184 00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:01,852 - I mean, not like our wedding beautiful. - No, we totally won. 185 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,231 You know what, Amy? I don't understand. 186 00:10:05,398 --> 00:10:07,984 Are we broken up or not? It's like you can't make up your mind. 187 00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:10,653 It's because you're not giving me any space to think. 188 00:10:11,195 --> 00:10:14,949 Well, you should think fast because men can sire offspring their entire lives, 189 00:10:15,116 --> 00:10:17,159 but those eggs you're toting around have a sell-by date. 190 00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:24,333 You know what, Sheldon. You've made this really easy. 191 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:27,878 You're immature, you're selfish. You just insulted me to my face. 192 00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:30,047 I don't need any more time to think. We're broken up. 193 00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:31,716 Amy. 194 00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:33,467 MINISTER: (ON TV) ...take this man to be your husband? 195 00:10:33,718 --> 00:10:36,721 - Will someone take me home? - Yeah. Come on, I'll give you a ride. 196 00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:38,973 MINISTER: (ON TV) ...symbolizes your eternal love. 197 00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:42,393 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 198 00:10:44,729 --> 00:10:48,232 - We did it! - I'm so glad you guys could watch. 199 00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:52,695 We'll say it was beautiful in the comments section. 200 00:11:01,454 --> 00:11:02,455 Hang on. 201 00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:05,041 I believe I'm supposed to carry you across the threshold. 202 00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:06,584 Can you? 203 00:11:08,336 --> 00:11:11,630 Who do you think carries Sheldon to bed when he falls asleep in front of the TV? 204 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:13,758 Okay, let's do it. 205 00:11:15,593 --> 00:11:16,635 (LEONARD GRUNTS) 206 00:11:23,768 --> 00:11:25,394 - You gonna make it? - I'm okay. 207 00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,273 Nicely done. 208 00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:30,775 Thank you. 209 00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:33,778 Finally there's a Mrs. Hofstadter who isn't disappointed in me. 210 00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:37,740 - Oh, the night is still young. - (CHUCKLES) 211 00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:50,961 Everything all right? 212 00:11:52,797 --> 00:11:54,673 Yeah, I guess. 213 00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:56,801 Just tell me. 214 00:11:58,302 --> 00:11:59,595 It's just, when we were kissing, 215 00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,847 I couldn't help but picture you with that other girl. 216 00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:03,891 Oh, no, no. Come on. 217 00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:05,976 I have a friend in you, you said so. 218 00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,147 You're right. Just forget it. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 219 00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:16,487 Okay, listen. 220 00:12:17,446 --> 00:12:20,741 If you're imagining that it was sexy, it wasn't. 221 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:23,786 We were both drunk, and she smelled like an ashtray. 222 00:12:23,953 --> 00:12:26,122 The boat was moving a lot so I chipped her tooth. 223 00:12:27,832 --> 00:12:29,125 Did you feel guilty? 224 00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:31,210 No, she had dental insurance. 225 00:12:33,671 --> 00:12:36,215 Did you feel guilty after kissing her? 226 00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:41,095 Yes, I felt guilty as soon as it happened. I feel guilty every time I see her. 227 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,765 What do you mean every time you see her? 228 00:12:45,558 --> 00:12:46,559 What 229 00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:48,477 do I mean? Boy, that's a toughy. 230 00:12:50,855 --> 00:12:52,356 - You still see her? - Well-- 231 00:12:53,149 --> 00:12:55,693 No, not socially. But you know, just at work. 232 00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:57,736 - You work with her? - (SIGHS) 233 00:12:58,112 --> 00:13:00,573 - How could you not tell me that? - I wanted to tell you in the car, 234 00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:04,201 - but you told me to stop talking! - Okay, so you're saying this is my fault? 235 00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:06,871 No, of course not. Okay, look. 236 00:13:07,538 --> 00:13:13,586 Instead of fighting, why don't we dim the lights, get naked and make a baby? 237 00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:23,721 I was trying to lighten the mood. 238 00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:26,223 It's not easy, you try it. 239 00:13:29,101 --> 00:13:32,021 - Hello, Mother. - Shelly, how's my baby doing? 240 00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:36,734 I just wanted to let you know you can remove Amy from your nightly prayers. 241 00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:39,904 Unless you're open to praying for a beehive to fall on her head. 242 00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:42,865 Oh, what's going on? 243 00:13:43,324 --> 00:13:45,910 - She broke up with me. - Oh, Shelly. 244 00:13:46,118 --> 00:13:50,539 I'll be okay, but I think that I'd like to send the ring back to you. 245 00:13:50,915 --> 00:13:53,959 Well, let's not be hasty. Are you sure it's over for good? 246 00:13:54,210 --> 00:13:56,587 It's over for me. I'm done with women. 247 00:13:56,921 --> 00:14:00,049 Like when I swore off Pop Rocks. They both hurt you on purpose. 248 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,886 You wanna tell me what happened? 249 00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:06,055 Are you going to say it's all part of God's plan? 250 00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:07,932 - Good chance. - Then no thank you. 251 00:14:09,475 --> 00:14:11,310 Well, honey, don't send it back yet. 252 00:14:11,477 --> 00:14:14,522 Your sister's married, and I'm not letting your brother give my grandmother's ring 253 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,106 to that whore he's dating. 254 00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:20,736 Wasn't Mary Magdalene a woman of ill repute? 255 00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:23,280 When your idiot brother redeems mankind 256 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,574 he can date whoever he wants. 257 00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:31,288 I know it hurts now, but it's gonna get better. 258 00:14:31,664 --> 00:14:33,499 Yeah, everything's gonna be okay. 259 00:14:33,791 --> 00:14:36,043 You've got so much to offer. 260 00:14:36,627 --> 00:14:37,670 Thank you. 261 00:14:38,212 --> 00:14:39,838 Any man would be lucky to have you. 262 00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:41,549 That's true. 263 00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:43,801 I just hope I did the right thing. 264 00:14:44,093 --> 00:14:45,344 I'm sure you did. 265 00:14:45,803 --> 00:14:48,222 Maybe that's the problem. You always do the right thing. 266 00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:51,141 Maybe it's time to do the wrong thing? 267 00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:00,943 Like you're doing right now? 268 00:15:03,696 --> 00:15:04,863 Exactly. 269 00:15:10,411 --> 00:15:12,329 I asked you over and over if you were okay. 270 00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:14,540 Why would you go through with the wedding if you weren't? 271 00:15:14,707 --> 00:15:17,167 I thought I was okay, but it turns out I'm not! 272 00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:20,379 Okay, listen. I may not have been entirely faithful, 273 00:15:20,546 --> 00:15:22,423 but you, you are not easy to lift. 274 00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,345 Wow! 275 00:15:28,679 --> 00:15:32,808 Well, marriage must agree with you. You are just glowing. 276 00:15:37,688 --> 00:15:39,940 I'm not glowing, I'm upset. 277 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,402 Well, whatever it is, it agrees with you. 278 00:15:54,038 --> 00:15:56,081 SHELDON: Knock, knock, knock, Penny. 279 00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:58,751 Knock, knock, knock, Penny. Knock, knock, knock, Penny. 280 00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:02,421 What's this? 281 00:16:02,588 --> 00:16:03,922 Leonard told me what happened. 282 00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:06,592 So I took it upon myself to make you a hot beverage. 283 00:16:06,884 --> 00:16:09,136 - Oh, that's so sweet of you. - Yeah, I know. 284 00:16:11,263 --> 00:16:14,933 But turns out being sweet isn't enough to keep a girl these days. 285 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,352 I blame Madonna. 286 00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:19,688 I'm sorry to hear about you and Amy. 287 00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:21,690 I'm sorry about Leonard. 288 00:16:21,857 --> 00:16:23,067 I thought I raised him better than that. 289 00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:26,612 You know, it's bad enough what happened, 290 00:16:26,779 --> 00:16:28,238 but then he tried to hide the fact that 291 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:30,741 he sees her all the time at the university. 292 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,826 He does? Who is it? 293 00:16:33,077 --> 00:16:35,120 Ugh. Some girl named Mandy. 294 00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:38,248 - Mandy Chow? - Yeah. 295 00:16:38,749 --> 00:16:40,250 Oh, you don't need to worry about her. 296 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:43,128 She's brilliant and attractive. She can do way better than Leonard. 297 00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:50,719 That's great. (CLEARS THROAT) 298 00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:54,640 (STAMMERING) Wait a minute, I know this may sound far-fetched, 299 00:16:54,807 --> 00:16:56,600 but I'm on the market now. 300 00:16:56,850 --> 00:17:00,979 You know, if I dated Mandy, that would teach both Leonard and Amy a lesson. 301 00:17:01,772 --> 00:17:03,023 That's ridiculous. 302 00:17:03,232 --> 00:17:05,192 Oh, you're right. I could never be with a woman 303 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,611 whose self-esteem was so low she'd be with Leonard. 304 00:17:09,697 --> 00:17:10,698 I'm with Leonard. 305 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,408 Yeah, I know. Forever. 306 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:15,285 (SIGHS) 307 00:17:15,494 --> 00:17:18,080 Who would have believed these things would happen to us? 308 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,456 Right? (SCOFFS) 309 00:17:20,416 --> 00:17:22,459 You know, I can't believe Amy actually went through with it. 310 00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:25,295 Hang on. 311 00:17:25,796 --> 00:17:27,673 You knew that she was going to end it with me? 312 00:17:28,132 --> 00:17:29,466 Did you try and stop her? 313 00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:33,470 Well, I told her to be true to herself and do what makes her happy. 314 00:17:33,679 --> 00:17:35,055 Do what makes her happy? 315 00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:38,809 She plays the harp and her car is paid for. How much happier can she be? 316 00:17:40,978 --> 00:17:44,565 Okay. Look, it's not my fault that she thought you were a bad boyfriend. 317 00:17:46,984 --> 00:17:48,110 I see. 318 00:17:48,277 --> 00:17:49,278 Well... 319 00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,201 I think I'll be going. 320 00:17:57,161 --> 00:17:59,163 - Sheldon. - No, no, no. We are done here. 321 00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:00,330 (PENNY SIGHS) 322 00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:02,916 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 323 00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:08,589 Would you mind opening the door and then angrily slamming it behind me? 324 00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:12,634 - Sure. - Thank you. 325 00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:16,388 And slam it hard because I am pretty steamed. 326 00:18:20,017 --> 00:18:22,770 All right, Leonard, hang in there. Talk to you tomorrow. 327 00:18:25,731 --> 00:18:27,524 What happened? They just got married. 328 00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:31,737 I don't know, it's a mess. They had a huge fight in Vegas. 329 00:18:32,404 --> 00:18:33,530 Think they'll break up? 330 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,866 I don't know, sounds pretty bad. 331 00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:38,494 Penny's back in her apartment all by herself. 332 00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:40,996 Really? 333 00:18:49,922 --> 00:18:52,216 Would you like to hear another reason why men are better than women? 334 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,053 Sure, let's make it an even hundred. 335 00:18:57,846 --> 00:19:01,350 You would never kiss me and make me say I love you and then break up with me. 336 00:19:01,934 --> 00:19:03,060 I wouldn't. 337 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:08,023 Yeah, and you know why? Because you're a man. 338 00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:10,192 The champagne of genders. 339 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,907 Well, I may be a man, but I think I'm the one that screwed up on this one. 340 00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:19,326 Yeah, well, and you admit it, like a man. 341 00:19:21,078 --> 00:19:24,039 All you hear women say is, "I'll just have a salad," you know. 342 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,416 "Where's my lip gloss?" 343 00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,044 "I think this element should be called radium." 344 00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:32,923 That last one was Madame Curie. 345 00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:35,801 I figured that out. 346 00:19:36,552 --> 00:19:38,595 You know what? She was kind of an honorary man. 347 00:19:39,263 --> 00:19:41,348 She had a penis made of science. 348 00:19:46,395 --> 00:19:48,689 I can't believe I'm spending my wedding night with you. 349 00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:50,691 Really? 350 00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:52,651 I never imagined it any other way. 351 00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:24,057 English - SDH