1
00:00:03,672 --> 00:00:05,674
- Would you pass the mustard?
- Sure.
2
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,884
Hey. Wanna hear a fun fact about mustard?
3
00:00:08,093 --> 00:00:10,595
Is it that the glucosinolates
which give mustard its flavor
4
00:00:10,762 --> 00:00:14,224
were evolved by the cabbage family as
a chemical defense against caterpillars?
5
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:17,185
Yeah.
6
00:00:18,812 --> 00:00:20,897
Well, that was fun. Good for you, Leonard.
7
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:23,733
- Hey there.
- Hey, you're early.
8
00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:25,151
The movie doesn't start for an hour.
9
00:00:25,318 --> 00:00:27,570
Actually, we're not going to the movies.
10
00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:30,115
- We are here to kidnap you.
- (CHUCKLES)
11
00:00:30,448 --> 00:00:31,491
What are you talking about?
12
00:00:31,658 --> 00:00:34,744
Well, you eloped and we didn't get
a chance to throw you a bachelor party,
13
00:00:34,911 --> 00:00:36,329
so there's a van downstairs
14
00:00:36,496 --> 00:00:39,958
and we're here to take you
to a surprise location for the weekend.
15
00:00:40,625 --> 00:00:42,460
Well, I'd hardly call this kidnapping.
16
00:00:42,627 --> 00:00:44,462
Where's the blindfold?
Where's the duct tape?
17
00:00:45,755 --> 00:00:47,799
Where's the part where you call me
and demand ransom
18
00:00:47,966 --> 00:00:51,219
and I try to keep you on the phone but
you hang up seconds before I can trace it
19
00:00:51,386 --> 00:00:54,264
and then I say,
"I'm getting too old for this crud"?
20
00:00:57,434 --> 00:00:58,810
When do we leave?
21
00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:01,312
- Right now.
- Yeah, Penny packed you a bag.
22
00:01:01,479 --> 00:01:02,772
(CHUCKLING) Wow, okay.
23
00:01:03,148 --> 00:01:05,316
You're seriously going to get in a van
and let these two take you
24
00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:07,652
to an unknown destination
for an entire weekend?
25
00:01:07,819 --> 00:01:09,612
Oh, not just him, you're coming, too.
26
00:01:09,821 --> 00:01:12,157
Oh, and how do you think
you're going to get me to do that?
27
00:01:12,365 --> 00:01:14,325
Unhand me! This is ridiculous!
28
00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:16,244
- I told you to put tape on his mouth.
- (SHELDON GRUNTS)
29
00:01:16,411 --> 00:01:18,079
And I told you he bit me.
30
00:01:19,581 --> 00:01:21,583
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
31
00:01:46,608 --> 00:01:49,068
It's bad enough
I'm being taken against my will.
32
00:01:49,402 --> 00:01:52,489
I don't see why it has to be
in some hippie's mobile sex dungeon.
33
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,493
Well, Sheldon,
there's something about this van
34
00:01:56,659 --> 00:01:58,870
that you're going to find
very interesting.
35
00:01:59,329 --> 00:02:01,039
What? It runs on syphilis?
36
00:02:02,832 --> 00:02:07,170
This van was owned and driven by
your personal physics hero,
37
00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:08,838
Richard Feynman.
38
00:02:10,048 --> 00:02:11,049
- No.
- HOWARD: Yeah.
39
00:02:11,216 --> 00:02:14,803
- A buddy of mine let me borrow it.
- This was Feynman's van? That's so cool.
40
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:17,096
Yeah, nothing's been changed
since he drove it.
41
00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:19,891
I bet he picked up a lot of
cute grad students in this bad boy.
42
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:22,644
Yeah, and talked about physics with them.
(GASPS)
43
00:02:24,479 --> 00:02:26,898
So, are you gonna give us a clue
where we're headed?
44
00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:29,067
Uh, okay. Let's see.
45
00:02:29,359 --> 00:02:32,904
They've got spicy food
and there's a chance you'll get diarrhea.
46
00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:36,032
India.
47
00:02:37,951 --> 00:02:39,202
We can drive there.
48
00:02:39,369 --> 00:02:40,745
Your house?
49
00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:44,707
We are going to México!
50
00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:46,668
Fun, I've never been there.
51
00:02:46,835 --> 00:02:52,173
Leonard, don't be fooled. I'm from Texas.
"Me-he-co" is Spanish for Mexico.
52
00:02:53,591 --> 00:02:54,968
What's wrong with Mexico?
53
00:02:55,134 --> 00:03:00,557
Uh, mariachi bands, wild dogs, beans that
jump around 'cause there's a worm inside.
54
00:03:01,391 --> 00:03:03,810
Okay, calm down.
There's a theme to this weekend.
55
00:03:04,269 --> 00:03:08,940
We are going to Mexico in Feynman's van
to stay at the vacation house
56
00:03:09,107 --> 00:03:11,776
Feynman bought
with the money from his Nobel Prize.
57
00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:14,779
¡Viva la Imodium! (EXCLAIMS)
58
00:03:18,491 --> 00:03:20,451
Come on. Leonard's doing bachelor stuff.
59
00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:22,287
You sure we can't take you
to a strip club?
60
00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,622
No, if I wanna see a naked dancing man
61
00:03:24,831 --> 00:03:27,292
I just flush the toilet
while Leonard's in the shower. (CHUCKLES)
62
00:03:31,296 --> 00:03:32,297
- Hi.
- Hey.
63
00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:35,133
I know we're not making a fuss, but,
64
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,385
in the spirit of bachelorette parties,
65
00:03:37,552 --> 00:03:40,513
I made cookies
in the shape of male genitals.
66
00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:44,809
You really didn't have to--
Whoa!
67
00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:48,605
That is anatomic.
68
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,691
Thank you. The veins are gummy worms.
69
00:03:56,446 --> 00:03:58,907
Oh, look, Jewish and gentile.
70
00:04:01,326 --> 00:04:02,827
I had extra dough.
71
00:04:03,745 --> 00:04:04,746
(PHONE CHIMES)
72
00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:07,999
Oh, that's Leonard.
He said they're about to cross the border.
73
00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:10,168
I hope the boys don't get too crazy
in Mexico.
74
00:04:10,543 --> 00:04:12,337
Oh, yeah, right, lock up your daughters
75
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:16,090
or Sheldon might lecture them about
the North American Free Trade Agreement.
76
00:04:17,717 --> 00:04:19,761
Boy, that was a long night for me.
77
00:04:23,181 --> 00:04:24,182
Uh-oh.
78
00:04:24,349 --> 00:04:26,768
According to this Mexican Customs website,
79
00:04:26,935 --> 00:04:31,397
visitors may not bring more than
five laser discs, 20 compact discs
80
00:04:31,564 --> 00:04:33,358
or 12 VHS tapes.
81
00:04:35,151 --> 00:04:37,320
We don't have any of those.
82
00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,072
How can you be sure?
83
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:42,033
Uh, VHS was king when
Feynman drove this van.
84
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,868
And for all we know,
there are hidden compartments
85
00:04:44,035 --> 00:04:46,245
lousy with Jane Fonda workout videos.
86
00:04:47,914 --> 00:04:49,290
If there was a hidden compartment,
87
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:51,459
don't you think
you'd be stuffed in it by now?
88
00:04:53,795 --> 00:04:56,547
Are we all up-to-date
on our Yellow Fever inoculations?
89
00:04:57,382 --> 00:04:59,842
You don't need a Yellow Fever shot
to go to Mexico.
90
00:05:00,093 --> 00:05:01,594
You can never be too careful.
91
00:05:01,844 --> 00:05:03,846
I got one last year
before I went to Epcot.
92
00:05:07,725 --> 00:05:09,477
So, Penny, how's married life?
93
00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:10,728
Oh, it's good.
94
00:05:10,895 --> 00:05:12,480
Just wish Leonard
would work up the courage
95
00:05:12,647 --> 00:05:14,440
to tell Sheldon he's moving in here.
96
00:05:15,066 --> 00:05:16,567
You guys still aren't living together?
97
00:05:16,818 --> 00:05:18,736
We are, I mean, he sleeps here,
98
00:05:18,903 --> 00:05:21,322
but it's only a matter of time
before Sheldon has a bad dream
99
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:24,701
and tries to climb into bed
with the Leonard-shaped pile of pillows.
100
00:05:26,953 --> 00:05:29,163
Speaking of Sheldon,
how's single life treating you?
101
00:05:29,664 --> 00:05:32,417
Fine, I guess. I've been focusing on me.
102
00:05:32,917 --> 00:05:34,460
I was thinking about
changing my wardrobe.
103
00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:35,962
- Yes!
- Good for you!
104
00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:40,091
But then I decided
I don't wanna go changing who I am
105
00:05:40,258 --> 00:05:41,718
just because of some man.
106
00:05:42,010 --> 00:05:43,261
- Yes.
- Good for you.
107
00:05:45,263 --> 00:05:48,599
You know, it is normal to wanna change
your look after a breakup.
108
00:05:48,975 --> 00:05:51,269
Actually, I was thinking
of making one small change.
109
00:05:51,436 --> 00:05:52,437
- Your sweater?
- Your glasses?
110
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:53,855
- Your hair?
- Your shoes?
111
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:56,649
Piercing my ears.
112
00:05:56,941 --> 00:05:57,942
Oh...
113
00:05:58,151 --> 00:05:59,402
You really never had that done?
114
00:05:59,569 --> 00:06:02,989
My mom said pierced ears were for whores,
pirates and genies.
115
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,702
Okay. Well, you're a grown woman now.
116
00:06:07,869 --> 00:06:11,456
I know, but Sheldon had this clause
in the relationship agreement
117
00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:14,667
forbidding cosmetic surgery
unless it's to look like a Klingon.
118
00:06:17,128 --> 00:06:18,671
We'll take you to the mall to get it done.
119
00:06:18,838 --> 00:06:20,214
Why? I can do it right here.
120
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,216
- Really? You have a piercing gun?
- PENNY: No.
121
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:25,178
All you need is a needle and an ice cube.
I've done it like a dozen times.
122
00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:28,598
- Oh, I don't know.
- Oh, come on. I'll be gentle.
123
00:06:28,765 --> 00:06:30,516
Let me take your ear virginity.
124
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,562
This party's weird.
125
00:06:38,274 --> 00:06:41,235
Hey, watch your speed.
I hear Mexican police target tourists.
126
00:06:41,486 --> 00:06:43,738
Oh, not a problem. If anything goes down,
127
00:06:43,905 --> 00:06:45,698
we just put Koothrappali
in the driver's seat
128
00:06:45,865 --> 00:06:47,533
and slap a sombrero on his head.
129
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,413
Dude, how many races
can you offend in a single breath?
130
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:55,166
I don't know.
Have you watched the Olympics with me?
131
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:59,504
Sheldon, can you believe that
we're driving in a van that was owned
132
00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:02,673
by one of the greatest scientific minds
of the twentieth century?
133
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,675
It's like the Batmobile. (CHUCKLES)
134
00:07:05,093 --> 00:07:06,302
If Batman was real.
135
00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:09,180
And a physicist. And his car wasn't cool.
136
00:07:11,099 --> 00:07:12,350
It is extraordinary.
137
00:07:13,184 --> 00:07:15,812
Perhaps some of his mojo
will rub off on us.
138
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:19,607
Maybe between this and his beach house,
we'll be inspired to greatness.
139
00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:23,236
I usually don't put too much stock
in charms and talismans,
140
00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:28,574
however even I must admit feeling Richard
Feynman's butt dent cupping my own bottom.
141
00:07:28,741 --> 00:07:29,742
(INHALES SHARPLY)
142
00:07:30,159 --> 00:07:32,537
That does get the creative juices flowing.
143
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:38,084
Hey, I have to return this van.
Keep your creative juices in your pants.
144
00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:39,335
(TIRE RATTLING)
145
00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:42,755
- What was that?
- I think it's a tire.
146
00:07:43,047 --> 00:07:44,715
What if it's bandidos shooting at us?
147
00:07:45,383 --> 00:07:46,884
What if we get kidnapped?
148
00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:48,219
What if we end up in a factory
149
00:07:48,386 --> 00:07:51,264
making Bart Simpson piñatas
for the rest of our lives?
150
00:07:52,557 --> 00:07:53,933
It's the tire.
151
00:07:55,226 --> 00:07:57,061
- Leonard?
- What?
152
00:07:57,228 --> 00:07:59,188
I'm getting too old for this crud.
153
00:08:03,234 --> 00:08:06,737
Amy, I noticed your status still says
"in a relationship" on Facebook.
154
00:08:07,572 --> 00:08:10,908
You're right. I should probably let
all of my Facebook friends know.
155
00:08:12,285 --> 00:08:14,495
Penny, I'm no longer in a relationship.
156
00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:18,166
Did you change yours to "married" yet?
157
00:08:18,791 --> 00:08:21,794
Uh, no, not yet. There's still
a few people I haven't told personally.
158
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:25,631
- Who?
- Oh, just my parents and my entire family.
159
00:08:25,798 --> 00:08:26,799
(CLEARS THROAT)
160
00:08:27,383 --> 00:08:28,551
- What?
- Why?
161
00:08:28,718 --> 00:08:30,094
Well, I don't wanna hurt my dad.
162
00:08:30,261 --> 00:08:33,181
You know, he always wanted to dance
with his daughter at her wedding.
163
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:34,640
What about your sister's wedding?
164
00:08:34,807 --> 00:08:37,310
They started to but then her water broke.
(SCOFFS)
165
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:41,939
You know, if he finds out we eloped,
that's gonna break his heart.
166
00:08:42,106 --> 00:08:44,025
How long do you think
you can keep it from him?
167
00:08:44,192 --> 00:08:46,527
Yeah, isn't it gonna get worse
the longer you wait?
168
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:49,655
Well, not necessarily.
You know, Dad's not getting any younger.
169
00:08:49,822 --> 00:08:51,324
So if I wait long enough,
170
00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:54,535
I'll just tell him he walked me
down the aisle and it was magical.
171
00:08:59,916 --> 00:09:01,584
When did you learn how to change a tire?
172
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:04,670
Every self-respecting gentleman
should know how,
173
00:09:04,921 --> 00:09:08,090
in case he comes across a damsel
in distress by the side of the road.
174
00:09:09,425 --> 00:09:13,304
If I see one scorpion, I'm getting on
someone's shoulders and never coming down.
175
00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:15,306
And there's your damsel.
176
00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:16,515
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
177
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:20,228
Wow, this one's really stuck.
178
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,146
Are you turning it the right way?
179
00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:25,816
No, I took the other four off
and when I got to this one, I thought,
180
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,027
"I'm in a rut, let's shake things up."
181
00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:30,404
Here, let me try.
182
00:09:32,198 --> 00:09:33,199
(GRUNTING)
183
00:09:36,661 --> 00:09:38,621
You're right.
It doesn't turn the other way.
184
00:09:47,213 --> 00:09:49,173
There you go, you're all done.
185
00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:50,758
That wasn't so bad.
186
00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:53,302
(GASPS) Nice.
187
00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:57,181
Boy, if my mom could see me now,
she'd lock me in the sin closet.
188
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:01,644
That's a joke, right?
189
00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:05,106
Actually, the joke was on her, I could
still see the TV through the slats.
190
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,652
I'm starting to see why you and your mom
aren't very close.
191
00:10:10,945 --> 00:10:12,863
Bet she'd still tell her
if she got married.
192
00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:14,740
You're not gonna let this go, are you?
193
00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:16,575
Well, it's kind of sad
that they don't know.
194
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:18,035
I mean, they love Leonard.
195
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,705
Fine, you want me to call, I'll call.
196
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:25,251
- (SIGHS) Why am I so nervous?
- It's understandable.
197
00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:27,920
Amy was afraid to tell her mom
she broke up with Sheldon.
198
00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:31,632
Yeah. How did it go? Did she make you
crawl into the breaking-up drawer?
199
00:10:33,551 --> 00:10:36,721
Uh, well, actually, to be honest,
I haven't told her yet.
200
00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:38,723
You've been giving me a hard time
201
00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,725
and you haven't even told
your mom about Sheldon?
202
00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:43,060
I'm feeling a little dizzy
from all the blood loss.
203
00:10:43,227 --> 00:10:44,770
I don't know what you're talking about.
204
00:10:46,105 --> 00:10:47,106
(SIGHS)
205
00:10:47,273 --> 00:10:50,318
Fine. I'm calling home, but when I'm done,
you're calling your mother.
206
00:10:51,402 --> 00:10:55,072
Easy for you to say. You never had
to watch 60 Minutes like this.
207
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,577
- Hey, Daddy.
- Hey, slugger.
208
00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:02,705
- How's my girl?
- Uh, good. Is Mom around?
209
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,957
Ah, she took your brother
out to celebrate.
210
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:07,585
He just got his tenth
one-month sober chip.
211
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,505
Yeah, she's gonna make him
a little necklace.
212
00:11:13,132 --> 00:11:14,175
Okay. I'll talk to her later.
213
00:11:14,342 --> 00:11:15,926
Uh, Dad, there's something
I need to tell you.
214
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:19,180
(INHALES DEEPLY)
Leonard and I got married.
215
00:11:20,014 --> 00:11:21,599
You did? When?
216
00:11:21,766 --> 00:11:23,309
Last week.
I'm sorry, I should've told you.
217
00:11:23,476 --> 00:11:24,894
It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.
218
00:11:25,061 --> 00:11:27,396
I feel terrible.
Please don't be too disappointed.
219
00:11:28,606 --> 00:11:29,774
Are you happy?
220
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,776
Very. Leonard is so great.
221
00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:33,944
Well, then, I'm happy for you.
222
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:36,781
Aw, thank you, Daddy. That means so much.
223
00:11:37,198 --> 00:11:39,450
Well, I understand it's hard
to tell someone something
224
00:11:39,617 --> 00:11:41,410
if you think it's gonna upset 'em.
225
00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,954
It is. You're the best dad ever.
226
00:11:44,497 --> 00:11:46,457
Yeah, uh, hold that thought.
227
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,835
I've been sitting on a little news myself.
228
00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:51,754
Well, what is it? (CHUCKLES)
229
00:11:52,046 --> 00:11:54,715
Oh, you know that rototiller
I got for the tractor?
230
00:11:54,924 --> 00:11:56,884
- No.
- Oh, you should see it.
231
00:11:57,301 --> 00:11:59,637
It is a beautiful piece of machinery.
232
00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:01,847
Anyway, uh...
233
00:12:02,473 --> 00:12:04,266
I backed over your pet pig with it.
234
00:12:06,394 --> 00:12:07,728
Moondance?
235
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:10,147
Yeah, he's not dancing anymore.
236
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,150
You killed my pig?
237
00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:16,237
I did not kill him.
The vet took care of that.
238
00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:19,865
- When?
- Oh...
239
00:12:20,658 --> 00:12:22,118
Ten, 12 months ago.
240
00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:24,954
You didn't tell me for a year?
241
00:12:25,121 --> 00:12:27,331
Well, apple doesn't fall
far from the tree, does it?
242
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:30,709
Uh, love you, slugger. Gotta go.
243
00:12:34,505 --> 00:12:36,006
Okay, Amy, your turn.
244
00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:41,220
(ALL GRUNTING)
245
00:12:42,096 --> 00:12:43,514
(BREATHING RAPIDLY)
246
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,185
What are you doing?
247
00:12:48,394 --> 00:12:51,021
It's called Lamaze breathing.
It helps you push.
248
00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,526
Great. He's pushing with his uterus.
249
00:12:58,279 --> 00:13:00,239
There's gotta be
a smarter way of removing it.
250
00:13:00,406 --> 00:13:02,700
Yeah, this is nothing more
than a physics problem.
251
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,369
Right. Archimedes once said,
252
00:13:05,536 --> 00:13:08,289
"Give me a lever long enough
and a fulcrum on which to place it,
253
00:13:08,456 --> 00:13:09,915
"and I shall move the world."
254
00:13:10,541 --> 00:13:15,671
Of course, all we need is to find stuff
to make a lever big enough to fix this.
255
00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:19,383
Exactly. I'll bet there's something
around here that could be a lever.
256
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:22,052
Let's see. A lever, a lever.
257
00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:25,264
Everybody hold on. Let's take this problem
one step at a time.
258
00:13:25,598 --> 00:13:29,185
First, we need to decide whether
we're calling it "leever" or "lever."
259
00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:34,732
And the sooner we decide it's "leever,"
the sooner we can roll up our sleeves
260
00:13:34,899 --> 00:13:37,109
and not "slehves" and get to work.
261
00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:39,862
We're gonna be here "for-eever."
262
00:13:43,491 --> 00:13:44,742
Thanks a lot, guys.
263
00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:46,869
- What did we do?
- Before I made that call,
264
00:13:47,036 --> 00:13:49,747
my pig was alive and happy
and rolling around in the mud.
265
00:13:50,164 --> 00:13:53,667
Now he's illegally buried in our backyard
next to my great-grandmother.
266
00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:57,630
Really? They didn't eat him?
267
00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:03,969
No, he was a beloved member of the family.
268
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,305
The breakfast meat family?
269
00:14:09,642 --> 00:14:11,936
It's not funny. You're up.
Call your mother.
270
00:14:12,353 --> 00:14:15,022
Oh, maybe later.
Your pig dying made me sad.
271
00:14:16,524 --> 00:14:19,443
- And a little hungry.
- Phone. Now.
272
00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:22,196
Okay. Okay. Fine.
273
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:28,369
- Hi, Mom.
- Try dialing.
274
00:14:30,371 --> 00:14:31,747
You saw that, huh?
275
00:14:36,794 --> 00:14:38,379
Hi, Mom. How are you doing?
276
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,257
Oh, good. How's work?
277
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,676
That's nice.
278
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:46,804
I'm fine. Hey, listen.
I've been meaning to ask
279
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:50,307
how come Aunt Doe and Aunt Florence
never got along?
280
00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:51,934
Okay. That's it, give me that.
281
00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:53,852
Amy broke up with Sheldon,
she got her ears pierced
282
00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:55,771
and she made us eat penis cookies.
283
00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:02,820
Hang on. She wants to talk to you.
284
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,368
I don't think the lever's working.
285
00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:10,995
What makes you say that?
286
00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:18,502
There's gotta be something else
we can try.
287
00:15:19,253 --> 00:15:22,464
Well, if this was Star Trek,
we could use a phaser to blast it off.
288
00:15:22,715 --> 00:15:24,341
Oh, it's too broad of a beam.
289
00:15:24,508 --> 00:15:27,636
You'd need something more precise,
like Superman's heat vision.
290
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:31,515
Ooh, the Green Lantern's ring could make
a big green hand that unscrews it.
291
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:34,310
Well, if you need a green hand,
why not just use the Hulk?
292
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,521
Oh, please. The Hulk would never get
across the border with that temper.
293
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:41,650
Guys, excuse me,
not that calling one of the Avengers
294
00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:45,404
isn't a perfectly reasonable choice,
but we're scientists.
295
00:15:45,571 --> 00:15:48,198
Don't you think we can figure this out
using actual science?
296
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:52,077
Yes. We could use science,
but it's your bachelor party. Lighten up.
297
00:15:55,289 --> 00:15:56,457
(CLATTERING)
298
00:16:02,254 --> 00:16:04,006
(TAPPING AND CLAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)
299
00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:11,722
(SINGING)
We will, we will, percussive shock you
300
00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:17,728
BOTH: (SINGING) We will, we will,
percussive shock you
301
00:16:19,313 --> 00:16:21,565
Buddy, you're a boy, make a big noise
302
00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:24,735
Playin' in the street
gonna be a big man some day
303
00:16:24,902 --> 00:16:27,404
You got mud on yo' face, you big disgrace
304
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:30,449
Kickin' your can all over the place
305
00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:38,040
I have an eidetic memory,
sometimes it's a curse.
306
00:16:40,668 --> 00:16:41,669
(MATCH STRIKES)
307
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:47,299
I had no idea tortilla chips
were such a good fuel source.
308
00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:50,135
They're basically pure hydrocarbons
soaked in fat.
309
00:16:50,928 --> 00:16:52,721
Let's hope the lug nut expands.
310
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,265
What if that burning food
attracts animals?
311
00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,434
We have plenty of food for the animals.
312
00:16:57,685 --> 00:17:00,562
- We do?
- Yep, six-foot wiener in a Flash t-shirt.
313
00:17:02,398 --> 00:17:03,732
That's not very nice.
314
00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:05,567
It's a bachelor party. Lighten up.
315
00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:09,738
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
316
00:17:11,782 --> 00:17:13,617
Oh, what is that awful smell?
317
00:17:13,784 --> 00:17:17,413
It's burning salsa. I'm hoping the acidity
and salinity combined with electricity
318
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:19,081
will corrode the lug nut off.
319
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,291
What an innovative solution.
320
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:24,795
Perhaps I don't give your MIT education
enough credit.
321
00:17:25,129 --> 00:17:27,089
Yeah, I saw it on Mythbusters.
(CHUCKLES)
322
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,135
(CLATTERING)
323
00:17:33,137 --> 00:17:34,138
All right.
324
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,807
This rust combined with the aluminum
325
00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:39,017
- recovered from the van is now thermite.
- (SIGHS)
326
00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:42,271
Great.
Couple pinches ought to do the trick.
327
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:44,732
Is that enough to melt the lug nut?
328
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,817
Well, let's start small.
We can always add more.
329
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,361
You put up a good fight, lug nut.
330
00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:53,282
But you've met your match.
331
00:17:53,449 --> 00:17:54,992
(RAJ CHUCKLES)
332
00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,343
Hey, look. The lug nut's off.
333
00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:31,028
What? What are you doing back?
334
00:18:34,198 --> 00:18:36,408
We got a flat
and couldn't get the tire off.
335
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:39,536
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Thank you.
336
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,538
Yeah, if it makes you feel any better,
337
00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:44,541
I pierced Amy's ears
and her mom made her sit in my closet.
338
00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:51,381
We blew up Feynman's van.
339
00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:53,884
My dad killed my pig with his tractor.
340
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:56,345
I spent the night in Mexico with Sheldon.
341
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:57,888
You win.
342
00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:31,046
English - SDH