1 00:00:03,713 --> 00:00:05,924 Did you hear about this study that found people 2 00:00:06,216 --> 00:00:09,552 that were cool and popular at 13 have problems succeeding later in life? 3 00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:11,930 Hmm. I'm doing okay and I was very popular at 13. 4 00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:13,848 - In school? - Oh, no, at home. 5 00:00:15,475 --> 00:00:18,186 The servants would sing to me, laugh at my jokes. 6 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:21,940 I wish I knew their names. 7 00:00:23,483 --> 00:00:25,944 Does the study say what happens to the unpopular kids? 8 00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:28,196 You tell me. You woke up in bed with one. 9 00:00:30,699 --> 00:00:34,077 Listen to this. I just received an email from Wil Wheaton. 10 00:00:34,411 --> 00:00:37,122 Leonard Nimoy's son is working on a documentary 11 00:00:37,372 --> 00:00:39,541 that he started with his father before he passed away. 12 00:00:39,708 --> 00:00:42,127 It's about Mr. Spock and his impact on our culture. 13 00:00:42,669 --> 00:00:43,837 Why is he writing to you? 14 00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:46,131 Well, they're looking for fans to interview 15 00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:48,550 - and Wil thought I'd be good for it. - Oh. Hey, high five. 16 00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:49,884 Absolutely not. 17 00:00:51,803 --> 00:00:54,556 Yeah, Penny, you've spent some time in front of the camera. 18 00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:56,141 Any words of advice? 19 00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:58,977 Yes, don't take your shirt off just because the director said so. 20 00:01:00,645 --> 00:01:02,313 This is a documentary about Mr. Spock. 21 00:01:02,564 --> 00:01:04,399 I'm sure if there's nudity it will be tasteful. 22 00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,653 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 23 00:01:33,219 --> 00:01:34,888 (SWORDS SLASHING ON TV) 24 00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:38,892 Hey, you got a minute? 25 00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:42,520 Not really. Visigoths are kinda up my butt right now. 26 00:01:44,022 --> 00:01:45,690 Pause the game, Howard. 27 00:01:46,232 --> 00:01:48,610 Howard? Oh-oh. Make room, Visigoths. 28 00:01:50,737 --> 00:01:51,738 'Sup? 29 00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:54,115 We need to talk about redecorating this place. 30 00:01:54,324 --> 00:01:56,075 (SIGHS) No, not this again. 31 00:01:56,409 --> 00:01:58,787 (SIGHS) Look, I get that you grew up here, 32 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,372 and you're attached to things looking a certain way, 33 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,708 but I want this to feel like my house, too. 34 00:02:04,042 --> 00:02:06,920 (CHUCKLING) Oh. Honey, of course it's your house. 35 00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,379 Why else would you be cleaning it all the time? 36 00:02:10,089 --> 00:02:11,090 (CHUCKLES) 37 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,676 All right, let's start over. 38 00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:17,222 I'm redecorating. The furniture, the carpeting, the walls. 39 00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:20,141 I'm changing everything that depresses me when I look at it. 40 00:02:20,558 --> 00:02:22,060 Try not to be one of those things. 41 00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:24,979 May I say something? 42 00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:26,898 Is it about how I can't have new wallpaper 43 00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:29,150 'cause your dad left when you were little and your mom died? 44 00:02:29,609 --> 00:02:30,777 Never mind. 45 00:02:34,572 --> 00:02:36,032 Hello, Amy. It's Sheldon. 46 00:02:36,241 --> 00:02:39,494 Yeah, I know that we're broken up but I'm leaving this message because 47 00:02:39,661 --> 00:02:42,205 I thought perhaps you'd like to watch me be interviewed 48 00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:44,249 for a documentary about Mr. Spock. 49 00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:47,836 Or as I like to call it, a Spockumentary. (LAUGHS) 50 00:02:48,837 --> 00:02:50,922 Yeah, I'm going to use that joke in the interview, 51 00:02:51,089 --> 00:02:53,049 so try to laugh like you're hearing it for the first time. 52 00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,301 You know, hysterically. 53 00:02:55,885 --> 00:02:58,388 And with a tinge of sadness that I'm no longer in your life. 54 00:02:59,931 --> 00:03:01,766 I'm the one who thought of Spockumentary. 55 00:03:02,267 --> 00:03:04,269 And I'm laughing like I did the first time I heard it. 56 00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:06,604 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 57 00:03:08,940 --> 00:03:10,483 - Hello. - Hey, Sheldon. 58 00:03:10,859 --> 00:03:12,485 - This is Adam Nimoy. - Nice to meet you. 59 00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:14,279 Oh, it's nice to meet you. 60 00:03:14,529 --> 00:03:16,656 I admire your father's work very much. 61 00:03:16,823 --> 00:03:18,324 It's not every day I get to meet someone 62 00:03:18,491 --> 00:03:20,743 whose life's journey began in my hero's scrotum. 63 00:03:24,706 --> 00:03:26,457 I told you, this guy is gold. 64 00:03:31,796 --> 00:03:32,922 Whatcha doing? 65 00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:34,632 Oh. Making myself a bologna sandwich 66 00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:37,969 like my mom used to make me after my dad left but before she died. 67 00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:46,185 Okay, listen, I'm thinking that maybe we can compromise on the house. 68 00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:48,563 I'm listening. 69 00:03:49,022 --> 00:03:51,441 Let's just redo one room and see how it goes. 70 00:03:52,317 --> 00:03:54,819 That is reasonable, but what room? 71 00:03:55,737 --> 00:03:57,906 - How about this one? - No way, no. 72 00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:00,950 This is the room I associate the most with my mom. 73 00:04:01,534 --> 00:04:04,537 - Then how about the bathroom? - I wanna change my answer. 74 00:04:07,165 --> 00:04:08,791 Fine, then the dining room. 75 00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:12,754 I guess we didn't use it very often. Unless we had company. 76 00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:15,673 Which didn't happen much after my dad left but not at all after my mom-- 77 00:04:15,882 --> 00:04:17,592 Great, I'm gonna go pick out paint samples. 78 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,931 All right. We're just gonna have a conversation, 79 00:04:23,139 --> 00:04:24,515 pretend the camera's not here. 80 00:04:25,183 --> 00:04:26,184 All right. 81 00:04:26,476 --> 00:04:29,312 But this better not be some elaborate scheme to get me out of my shirt. 82 00:04:32,023 --> 00:04:34,233 - How long have you known Adam? - A few years. 83 00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:37,445 - And what are you getting him back for? - (CHUCKLES) 84 00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:40,531 Let's start with your name and occupation. 85 00:04:41,074 --> 00:04:44,535 Doctor Sheldon Cooper, Theoretical Physicist, Caltech. 86 00:04:45,203 --> 00:04:48,039 ADAM: And what is your earliest memory of the character Spock? 87 00:04:49,499 --> 00:04:53,211 The first episode of Star Trek: The Original Series I ever saw 88 00:04:53,378 --> 00:04:55,046 was The Galileo Seven. 89 00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:58,383 Uh, Spock had just landed on the planet Taurus II. 90 00:04:58,758 --> 00:05:02,303 Then my brother came in, sat on my head and said, "Eat farts." 91 00:05:04,681 --> 00:05:06,057 After that day I was hooked. 92 00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:10,103 On Star Trek, not my brother's sphincter-based cuisine. 93 00:05:13,106 --> 00:05:15,400 What was it about Spock that appealed to you? 94 00:05:16,234 --> 00:05:18,486 I think the same thing that appeals to people everywhere. 95 00:05:18,903 --> 00:05:23,449 The dream of a cold rational world entirely without human emotion. 96 00:05:24,993 --> 00:05:27,662 Spock came from a planet governed only by logic. 97 00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:30,081 You know, on Vulcan, when your brother asks, 98 00:05:30,248 --> 00:05:32,542 "Why are you hitting yourself?" The answer is, 99 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:35,420 "I'm not. You're moving my arm." 100 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,132 To which he says, "Fascinating." 101 00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:41,884 And then you both watch educational television. 102 00:05:43,970 --> 00:05:47,390 Oh. When he says things like that I just wanna hug him and make everything better. 103 00:05:47,932 --> 00:05:50,768 - My brother was mean to me, too. - Yeah, you probably had it coming. 104 00:05:53,104 --> 00:05:54,814 Do you have any Spock collectibles? 105 00:05:55,273 --> 00:05:56,274 I have many. 106 00:05:56,441 --> 00:05:58,818 My most treasured is an autographed napkin 107 00:05:59,027 --> 00:06:01,195 given to me by my very thoughtful friend, Penny. 108 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:02,530 That's her over there. 109 00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:06,909 Hi. 110 00:06:07,869 --> 00:06:10,621 (CHUCKLES) Look at that, I'm in a movie, my shirt stayed on. 111 00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,543 - Can we see the napkin? - Of course. 112 00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:17,503 Excuse me. This will just take a moment. 113 00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:31,350 When did we get a wall safe? 114 00:06:33,686 --> 00:06:35,438 When there was no more room in the floor safe. 115 00:06:36,856 --> 00:06:38,608 When did we get a floor safe? 116 00:06:39,692 --> 00:06:41,360 When we got the security camera. 117 00:06:41,986 --> 00:06:43,654 There's a security camera? 118 00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:47,909 Aquaman. Protecting your home since 2012. 119 00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,872 Oh, my God, we've done things on that couch. 120 00:06:53,081 --> 00:06:54,373 Yeah, you don't have to tell me. 121 00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,088 So, your father-in-law is in there right now? 122 00:07:00,338 --> 00:07:02,507 Yes, so back me up. The house is good the way it is. 123 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:03,841 Okay. Got it. 124 00:07:05,093 --> 00:07:07,011 - Hey, what's going on? - Hey. 125 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:10,056 Hey, Raj, Dad and I were just talking about taking down this wall. 126 00:07:10,765 --> 00:07:13,267 You sure? It's a pretty great wall. 127 00:07:15,353 --> 00:07:16,729 What's so great about it? 128 00:07:17,939 --> 00:07:19,357 I'm sorry, I did what I could. 129 00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,903 Seriously? You brought Raj over to take your side? 130 00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:25,446 Your dad's on your side. 131 00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:28,074 He's not on my side. He's doing all the work for free. 132 00:07:28,950 --> 00:07:31,077 That is so generous of you. 133 00:07:32,245 --> 00:07:33,412 I'd like to switch sides. 134 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:39,043 Look, I don't even think you can take this wall down 'cause it's load-bearing. 135 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:42,630 Well, it's easy to find out, just go into the crawlspace under the house and check. 136 00:07:43,256 --> 00:07:44,715 When is your visa up? 137 00:07:48,761 --> 00:07:50,555 Not only is it signed to me, 138 00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:52,765 but this is where he wiped his mouth. 139 00:07:52,974 --> 00:07:56,602 So, we are currently in the presence of Leonard Nimoy's DNA. 140 00:07:57,478 --> 00:08:00,148 Um, doesn't Adam count as Leonard Nimoy's DNA? 141 00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:04,694 No offense, but this is pure 100 percent Nimoy. 142 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:07,238 Now, because of your mother, you're only 50 percent. 143 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:12,451 Which isn't bad, but anything that you wipe your mouth on gets thrown away. 144 00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:17,248 Okay, enough about the napkin. What else you hiding in there? 145 00:08:17,415 --> 00:08:18,916 - Wouldn't you like to know. - I would. 146 00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:20,293 Yeah, all right, then. 147 00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:24,881 See, it's just my valuables. My passport, my will. 148 00:08:25,298 --> 00:08:26,966 - You have a will? - Yeah, my one-eighteenth scale 149 00:08:27,175 --> 00:08:28,384 Wil Wheaton action figure. 150 00:08:29,969 --> 00:08:34,557 Yeah, I also have the other kind of will. And in it I will my Wil back to Wil. 151 00:08:36,017 --> 00:08:37,435 - Will Wil want it? - Wil won't. 152 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:43,065 - What's that ring box? - Oh, that is an engagement ring, 153 00:08:43,316 --> 00:08:45,151 that I was going to give my girlfriend Amy. 154 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:46,444 What? 155 00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:50,031 You bought her a ring? 156 00:08:50,281 --> 00:08:52,283 No, no, no, this has been in my family for generations. 157 00:08:52,617 --> 00:08:55,286 No, except for a short time when Comanches 158 00:08:55,453 --> 00:08:57,955 cut off my great-great-great grandmother's finger and stole it. 159 00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:00,333 Sheldon, that's awful. 160 00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:03,085 No, the Texas Rangers tracked them down to their village 161 00:09:03,294 --> 00:09:04,754 and slaughtered every last one of them. 162 00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:07,131 It was a happy ending. 163 00:09:08,424 --> 00:09:09,926 Well, for my nine-fingered nana. 164 00:09:11,636 --> 00:09:14,138 Okay, back to the ring. Does Amy even know about this? 165 00:09:14,472 --> 00:09:17,475 No, she broke up with me before I could broach the subject. 166 00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:19,769 Man, I'm sorry. That must've been devastating for you. 167 00:09:20,144 --> 00:09:21,229 No, not at all. No, I'm fine. 168 00:09:21,479 --> 00:09:23,731 You know, Amy had reservations about our relationship 169 00:09:23,898 --> 00:09:25,107 so all worked out for the best. 170 00:09:25,358 --> 00:09:26,901 - I know, it's just-- - I said I'm fine! 171 00:09:33,491 --> 00:09:34,825 We've gotten a little off topic. 172 00:09:36,494 --> 00:09:40,331 Allow me to make things entertaining again in this little Spockumentary. 173 00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:46,837 That was Leonard's joke. 174 00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:57,431 As a child, when faced with a dilemma, 175 00:09:57,598 --> 00:10:00,685 my mother encouraged me to ask, "What would Jesus do?" 176 00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:04,021 The answer to that was always, "Love thy neighbor." 177 00:10:04,355 --> 00:10:07,358 But my neighbor had a dead tooth, 178 00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:10,444 so that wasn't going to happen. 179 00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:16,033 But that's why I changed it to, "What would Spock do?" 180 00:10:17,702 --> 00:10:18,619 Did you find that helpful? 181 00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:21,247 Yes. No, for example, three years ago 182 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,958 when I discovered Penny was eating all my Pop-Tarts, 183 00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:28,296 instead of getting angry or vindictive, you know, I got a floor safe. 184 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,382 I knew I could smell 'em. 185 00:10:33,092 --> 00:10:35,636 - What about from when you were a kid? - Oh, certainly. 186 00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,388 Uh, when I was eight years old, 187 00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,765 Billy Sparks cornered me in the playground. 188 00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:42,059 I asked myself, "What would Spock do?" 189 00:10:42,268 --> 00:10:47,106 Then I grabbed Billy on his shoulder and performed my first Vulcan nerve pinch. 190 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,777 - Did it work? - Oh, no, he broke my collarbone. 191 00:10:54,405 --> 00:10:56,073 Yeah, I can still hear it click. 192 00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,243 That must have been very upsetting for you. 193 00:10:59,869 --> 00:11:01,579 Oh, not at all. As I said, 194 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:05,333 the entire point of emulating Spock was to rise above human emotion, 195 00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:07,543 which I've spent a lifetime mastering. 196 00:11:07,752 --> 00:11:08,919 Oh. (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 197 00:11:11,047 --> 00:11:13,549 - Excuse me? - I'm sorry, I'm not here. 198 00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:16,260 No, you went... (BLOWS RASPBERRY) What does... (BLOWS RASPBERRY) Mean? 199 00:11:17,428 --> 00:11:19,263 - Uh... - You did go... (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 200 00:11:20,431 --> 00:11:21,432 Okay, fine. 201 00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,894 Sheldon, I'm no expert, but aren't you completely missing the point of Spock? 202 00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:28,189 He liked to act like he had no emotions, but he was still half-human. 203 00:11:28,481 --> 00:11:29,607 Just like you. 204 00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:32,443 I'm just saying, you pretend you don't, 205 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:34,362 but you have feelings just like everybody else. 206 00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:36,655 Not true. No, look at me. 207 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:40,576 I had an engagement ring to give a girl, and instead she rejected me. 208 00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:43,037 And am I emotional about that? No. 209 00:11:43,204 --> 00:11:44,789 No, I am sitting here on a couch 210 00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:47,458 talking about my favorite TV character like nothing happened. 211 00:11:47,625 --> 00:11:50,294 'Cause I am just like him. All logical, all the time. 212 00:11:50,628 --> 00:11:53,089 - Sweetie, you're yelling. - Because when I speak at a regular volume 213 00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:56,300 no one seems to believe me that I've put this Amy nonsense behind me. 214 00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,137 (DOOR SLAMS) 215 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,683 This documentary is gonna be awesome. 216 00:12:08,521 --> 00:12:10,648 - You gonna be okay down here? - Yeah. 217 00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:12,316 I feel like an archeologist. 218 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:15,152 Indiana Jones and the Single Family Dwelling. 219 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:20,157 Hey. Look. Found a seashell. 220 00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:22,868 - Yeah, that's a rat skull. - Oh! 221 00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:28,457 Relax, there's enough droppings down here without you making more. 222 00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:32,336 Sorry. You have a sense of where we are? 223 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,131 - Yeah, I think that's the den. - Oh. 224 00:12:35,673 --> 00:12:37,758 Okay. So we must be under the dining room. 225 00:12:38,092 --> 00:12:41,679 Uh-huh. Yep. You know, I know you don't wanna hear this, 226 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:45,599 but it wouldn't take that much work to turn that den into a nursery. 227 00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:50,312 - Oh, why wouldn't I wanna hear it? - 'Cause Bernie said you didn't want kids. 228 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:52,648 That's not true at all. 229 00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:55,693 Well, I wish she'd get pregnant. Believe me. 230 00:12:56,068 --> 00:12:58,946 I'm climbing on top of her every chance I get. 231 00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:00,656 (EXHALES) 232 00:13:01,699 --> 00:13:03,868 In a loving and respectful manner. 233 00:13:04,243 --> 00:13:06,203 Oh. (CLEARS THROAT) 234 00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:10,207 The point is I really do want kids. 235 00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:12,293 Huh. 236 00:13:13,002 --> 00:13:14,753 I don't know why she's lying to you. 237 00:13:15,129 --> 00:13:16,714 She's the one who doesn't want kids. 238 00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:19,216 In fact, every time I bring up the subject she's always-- 239 00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:20,759 Earthquake! 240 00:13:22,386 --> 00:13:24,430 Oh, my God. We're gonna die. 241 00:13:27,892 --> 00:13:29,393 Aftershock! 242 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,440 I can't believe Sheldon was gonna ask Amy to marry him. 243 00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:35,649 I know. 244 00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:38,903 I also can't believe he watched what we did on that couch and still sits on it. 245 00:13:39,111 --> 00:13:40,237 Yeah. 246 00:13:42,698 --> 00:13:44,492 - Hello. - Hey, buddy, how you doing? 247 00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:45,701 Better. 248 00:13:46,202 --> 00:13:47,703 - Did Wil and Adam leave? - Yeah. 249 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:51,415 Do you think they're going to put my outburst in the documentary? 250 00:13:51,582 --> 00:13:52,875 - Oh, yeah. - Definitely. 251 00:13:54,919 --> 00:13:56,921 Well, there's no point dwelling on it. 252 00:13:57,463 --> 00:13:58,631 As the Vulcans say... 253 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,424 (SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE) 254 00:14:03,302 --> 00:14:05,429 - Do you know what that means? - No. 255 00:14:05,763 --> 00:14:06,931 Are you telling the truth? 256 00:14:07,473 --> 00:14:08,599 (SPEAKS OTHER LANGUAGE) 257 00:14:10,226 --> 00:14:11,519 Well, this is ridiculous. 258 00:14:11,769 --> 00:14:14,772 Being upset about Amy all the time isn't accomplishing anything. 259 00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:17,942 If I wanna resolve this situation then I need to take action. 260 00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:19,902 - What are you gonna do? - I'm going to find her 261 00:14:20,069 --> 00:14:21,153 and ask her to marry me. 262 00:14:21,654 --> 00:14:24,990 And if she says yes we can put this behind us and resume our relationship. 263 00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:29,328 If she says no, well then she can just... (SPEAKS OTHER LANGUAGE) 264 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:34,625 He didn't mean that. 265 00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:42,800 So, I should probably explain why I kinda fibbed. 266 00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:48,889 That would be nice. 267 00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:52,560 I told my dad that you were the one who didn't want kids 268 00:14:52,810 --> 00:14:54,270 because I didn't wanna disappoint him. 269 00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:56,939 But you were okay throwing me under the bus? 270 00:14:57,690 --> 00:14:59,441 Turns out, yeah, I didn't think twice about it. 271 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,862 Bernie, you don't need to worry about me. 272 00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:06,657 But I don't wanna see you miss out. 273 00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:10,661 Raising children was the most rewarding experience of my life. 274 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:12,288 Oh, please. 275 00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:14,039 Mom did everything, all you did was 276 00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:16,375 come home from work, sit on the couch and drink beer. 277 00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:18,210 How is that raising kids? 278 00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:23,007 This is really a conversation for husband and wife. (CHUCKLES) 279 00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,426 I'm gonna go clean up, hit the road. 280 00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:27,845 If your mother asks, I was here till 10:00. 281 00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:34,018 It's interesting. Your father didn't help around the house 282 00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:36,270 and Howard doesn't help either, 283 00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:39,732 so in a way, Howard's not only like your father 284 00:15:40,024 --> 00:15:42,526 but he's also like the child that you're afraid to have. 285 00:15:45,321 --> 00:15:46,822 Why are you still here? 286 00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:54,163 Fine, I'll leave. But it sounds like somebody needs a fresh diaper. 287 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,128 All right. 288 00:16:01,545 --> 00:16:02,588 I admit... 289 00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:04,923 That I don't help out a lot. (CHUCKLES) 290 00:16:05,466 --> 00:16:06,925 And I need to work on that. 291 00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:10,304 But if we had a kid, it would be different. 292 00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:12,598 - Why? - Because... 293 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:16,477 When my dad left, I promised myself that... 294 00:16:17,269 --> 00:16:20,689 If I ever had a chance to be a father... 295 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,233 I'd always be there. 296 00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,363 Okay, I'll think about it. 297 00:16:27,905 --> 00:16:29,573 And this is an actual "I'll think about it?" 298 00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:32,576 Not like the "Can we get a motorcycle with a sidecar? 299 00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:33,869 "I'll think about it?" 300 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:41,085 - It's an actual "I'll think about it." - And I really believe I'd be a great dad. 301 00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:44,213 - I know you would. - (CHUCKLES) 302 00:16:45,464 --> 00:16:47,424 Speaking of making babies, 303 00:16:47,675 --> 00:16:50,678 what do you say I wash up and poke around your crawlspace? 304 00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:03,065 (INAUDIBLE) 305 00:17:24,378 --> 00:17:26,463 Dr. Dehner feels he isn't that dangerous. 306 00:17:26,714 --> 00:17:28,549 What makes you right and a trained psychiatrist wrong? 307 00:17:28,841 --> 00:17:32,302 Because she feels. I don't. All I know is logic. 308 00:17:32,553 --> 00:17:33,637 (SCOFFS) Yeah, right. 309 00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:37,141 You can just shut your feelings off. 310 00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:39,476 There goes television, lying to us again. 311 00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:42,521 We let you raise our children and this is the thanks we get? 312 00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:46,483 Leonard, how could I have been so foolish? 313 00:17:46,817 --> 00:17:50,821 To try and follow in the footsteps of a made-up alien race with no emotions? 314 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:52,740 (EXHALES) Well... 315 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,617 Now instead of idolizing fictional characters, 316 00:17:55,826 --> 00:17:58,537 you can focus on the real people who are already in your life. 317 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:03,876 - Those are very wise words. - Thank you. 318 00:18:04,460 --> 00:18:07,212 They'd just be so much more comforting if they came out of a television. 319 00:18:37,326 --> 00:18:38,327 English - SDH