1 00:00:04,714 --> 00:00:07,926 Sheldon Cooper's descent into madness. Day two. 2 00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:14,641 It's 2:25 a.m. and I feel the urge to urinate. 3 00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:18,978 My normal urination time is 7:10 a.m. 4 00:00:19,896 --> 00:00:24,359 But here I am, in the middle of the night, struggling to keep my mind sharp, 5 00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:26,528 and my pajamas dry. 6 00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:32,867 It's only a matter of time before my tenuous grasp on reality fades. 7 00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:37,872 I suppose I should pee while I still know what a toilet is. 8 00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:47,298 (SHELDON HUMMING) 9 00:00:53,805 --> 00:00:56,349 - Since when do you hum songs? - What are you talking about? 10 00:00:56,516 --> 00:00:58,226 - You were just humming. - Are you sure? 11 00:00:58,393 --> 00:01:02,021 Sometimes, when my brain really gets moving, it makes noise. 12 00:01:03,356 --> 00:01:06,651 How does your brain feel about calculating the surface tension of the domain walls? 13 00:01:06,818 --> 00:01:08,153 Let's see. 14 00:01:10,655 --> 00:01:13,199 (CONTINUES HUMMING) Hey, I was humming. 15 00:01:13,825 --> 00:01:15,285 One point for Hufflepuff. 16 00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:23,418 - What song is that? - Well... Hum it again. 17 00:01:23,835 --> 00:01:26,045 (SHELDON HUMMING AGAIN) 18 00:01:26,379 --> 00:01:28,006 Is that the SpongeBob song? 19 00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:30,175 (SINGING THE SPONGEBOB SONG) 20 00:01:30,341 --> 00:01:31,384 (No. 21 00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:33,720 Whatever, can we just get back to this? 22 00:01:33,887 --> 00:01:36,556 I feel like I know what song that is, but I can't put my finger on it. 23 00:01:37,849 --> 00:01:39,517 (SINGING) 24 00:01:39,684 --> 00:01:40,685 No. 25 00:01:41,186 --> 00:01:43,438 It's just an earworm, it'll come to you. 26 00:01:43,772 --> 00:01:44,939 Okay. 27 00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:49,652 (SHELDON SINGING AGAIN) 28 00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:50,820 No. 29 00:01:52,363 --> 00:01:53,823 Is this what we're doing the rest of the night? 30 00:01:54,032 --> 00:01:56,117 (SINGING) I'm surprised you have to ask 31 00:01:57,577 --> 00:01:59,621 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 32 00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:26,481 Hello, yes, I'm hoping you can help me. What song is this? 33 00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:29,150 (SINGING) La la la la la la la 34 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:34,864 You don't know? How dare you call yourselves a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? 35 00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:39,285 My goodness, do you sing along to the greatest hits of Elvis Presley 36 00:02:39,452 --> 00:02:40,870 with that mouth? 37 00:02:41,496 --> 00:02:43,248 Well, they were no help at all. 38 00:02:43,498 --> 00:02:47,460 Which is crazy since rock and roll is all about good customer service. 39 00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:50,630 Yeah, so you have a song stuck in your head. It happens to everybody. 40 00:02:50,797 --> 00:02:53,341 Yeah, well, I'm not everybody, I have an eidetic memory. 41 00:02:53,508 --> 00:02:55,760 I should be able to remember what this song is, but I can't. 42 00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:57,595 Something's wrong with me. 43 00:02:57,846 --> 00:03:00,974 I told you if we were patient, he'd figure it out for himself. 44 00:03:01,891 --> 00:03:03,810 Oh, I was always afraid this day would come. 45 00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:07,146 This might be the first step of my descent into madness. 46 00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:10,400 Where I gradually test the limits of public nudity. 47 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:15,113 - Public nudity? - Yeah, that just means going barefoot. 48 00:03:24,122 --> 00:03:27,292 - DAVE: Hello. - Hi, Dave. Uh, it's Amy. 49 00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:29,627 - Oh, how are you? - I'm fine, how are you? 50 00:03:29,836 --> 00:03:33,047 Terrific, and pleasantly surprised to hear from you, 51 00:03:33,298 --> 00:03:35,216 given how I acted on our last date. 52 00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:39,178 Yeah, well, we both made mistakes. You know, I took the last breadstick, 53 00:03:39,345 --> 00:03:41,139 you gushed over my ex-boyfriend 54 00:03:41,306 --> 00:03:44,309 like he was Leonard Nimoy and you were my ex-boyfriend. 55 00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:47,312 So, to what do I owe the pleasure? 56 00:03:47,937 --> 00:03:51,816 Well, I was wondering if you'd like to get dinner again sometime? 57 00:03:52,025 --> 00:03:53,651 Yes, please. 58 00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:55,778 Uh, great. 59 00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:58,489 "Let me just check my schedule," he said, 60 00:03:58,740 --> 00:04:01,117 trying to seem like a man with things on his schedule. 61 00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:04,329 - How about Saturday? - Uh... 62 00:04:04,746 --> 00:04:08,291 Let me see. Uh, Friday, farmer's market with Jay-Z. 63 00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:12,045 Sunday, piano shopping with Elton John, Saturday works. 64 00:04:15,632 --> 00:04:17,717 Uh! Did you know, at the United Nations, 65 00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:20,845 there's a department for Outer Space Affairs? 66 00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:22,472 Really? Why? 67 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,767 They exist in case we ever make contact with an alien civilization. 68 00:04:26,184 --> 00:04:30,146 Oh, boy, that's one of those jobs that's boring, boring, boring, 69 00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:33,316 then, "Oh, God! Where's the memo with what we do now?" 70 00:04:34,359 --> 00:04:35,360 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 71 00:04:35,777 --> 00:04:36,945 Oh, this is cool. 72 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:41,199 So, a few weeks ago I set up a fan page on Facebook for our band and I-- 73 00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:45,370 Wait a second, how could you do that without consulting me? 74 00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:47,705 It's not a big deal. Just took, like, five minutes to set up. 75 00:04:47,872 --> 00:04:49,248 That's not the point. 76 00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:52,377 When we created Footprints on the Moon, 77 00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:55,546 we agreed that every band decision would be mutual. 78 00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:58,174 Now you're just trying to take over the whole thing. 79 00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,760 You know, maybe I should go solo. 80 00:05:01,803 --> 00:05:05,723 But someone joined our page. We have an actual fan. 81 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:10,603 All right, this thing's bigger than you and me, band's back together. 82 00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:13,690 So, listen to what he wrote. 83 00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:17,568 "Uh, I saw you play at the comic book store. You guys rock." 84 00:05:17,819 --> 00:05:21,364 And then there's an animated smiley face raising the roof like this... 85 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,577 - We did raise the roof that night. - Yeah, we totally did. 86 00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:30,623 I mean, why do rock stars do drugs when this feels so great? 87 00:05:33,251 --> 00:05:35,753 (SINGING) Why can't I recall this song? 88 00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:41,009 This is taking far too long 89 00:05:42,427 --> 00:05:44,429 The urge to bang my head against the wall 90 00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:47,640 again and again and again and again and again is strong 91 00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:49,475 Put on some headphones. 92 00:05:49,684 --> 00:05:52,061 (SINGING) No, they make my earlobes sweat 93 00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:56,524 Hey, sweetie, what don't you take a break, and do something else for a while? 94 00:05:57,233 --> 00:05:59,444 There was a project I've been thinking about starting. 95 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,863 - Okay, great. What is it? - I'll show you. 96 00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:11,080 Dear crazy, future Sheldon, you were driven mad by an earworm. 97 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:15,793 Your mind, once your most trusted asset, is now a sack of parrots and monkeys. 98 00:06:17,003 --> 00:06:19,839 So, I'm going to tell you everything you need to know. 99 00:06:20,173 --> 00:06:22,133 Uh, first, music is dangerous, 100 00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:25,053 the movie Footloose tried to warn us, but we wouldn't listen. 101 00:06:25,678 --> 00:06:26,679 Oh, wait! 102 00:06:27,055 --> 00:06:28,723 (SINGING) 103 00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:29,891 No. 104 00:06:30,308 --> 00:06:33,311 I would pay $1000 to watch you cut footloose. 105 00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:37,398 SHELDON: This is Penny. 106 00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:40,568 She is your friend. 107 00:06:41,736 --> 00:06:45,990 If she offers you food, it's safe to take it. You probably paid for it, anyway. 108 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:50,870 So, you're really going out with Dave again? 109 00:06:51,204 --> 00:06:53,289 Why not? He's actually a very nice guy. 110 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:57,293 He spent an entire date talking about how much he loves Sheldon. 111 00:06:57,627 --> 00:06:59,837 It's nothing Sheldon hasn't done before. 112 00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:03,549 Dave's just a big fan of his work. 113 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,927 Besides, he said he wouldn't bring it up again. 114 00:07:06,094 --> 00:07:08,221 Okay, so where's he taking you? 115 00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:11,349 Oh, he's coming here. I'm actually making dinner. 116 00:07:12,183 --> 00:07:14,644 - That's a big step. - It is? 117 00:07:14,811 --> 00:07:18,356 Yeah. You're inviting him into your home. It's intimate. 118 00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:20,358 It's where your underpants live. 119 00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:24,112 You know what? Good. 120 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,406 I mean, I tried to get back together with Sheldon, he shot me down. 121 00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:31,160 Dave likes me. Maybe intimate is what I need. 122 00:07:31,911 --> 00:07:35,957 Are you sure? You've never really been with a man. 123 00:07:36,666 --> 00:07:39,544 Do you really want to start with one that's 6'7"? 124 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:41,963 Why not? 125 00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:45,383 'Cause it's like taking your driver's test in a bus. 126 00:07:49,554 --> 00:07:52,849 Maybe we should post a comment back to our fan and thank him. 127 00:07:53,057 --> 00:07:54,392 What should we write? 128 00:07:54,684 --> 00:07:56,727 How about... Oh, how about, 129 00:07:56,894 --> 00:08:01,774 "We might be Footprints on the Moon, but your kind words sent us over the moon." 130 00:08:03,234 --> 00:08:06,362 Someday, you're gonna make an amazing grandma. 131 00:08:07,405 --> 00:08:08,698 What do you wanna write? 132 00:08:08,865 --> 00:08:11,242 Something badass. You know, like, 133 00:08:11,409 --> 00:08:17,039 "Thanks for diggin' our vibe. We'll keep rockin' if you keep rollin'." 134 00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:22,545 Dude, if I was wearing a bra, I'd throw it at your head right now. 135 00:08:23,421 --> 00:08:25,506 I'll keep rockin', you don't do that. 136 00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:29,927 Okay. I posted it. 137 00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,345 So, who is this guy? 138 00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:36,267 - Let's see, his name is Trent Monaco. - Cool name. 139 00:08:36,434 --> 00:08:41,647 Yeah. He's 24. He's a DJ. He brews his own beer. 140 00:08:41,814 --> 00:08:46,027 He's got awesome tattoos. Dude, he's got a hot girlfriend, too. 141 00:08:46,444 --> 00:08:49,906 Damn, I don't know if he's our biggest fan or I'm his. 142 00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:51,782 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 143 00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:53,910 Hey, Trent just liked our comment. 144 00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:59,624 He is so cool! No hard feelings, but I'm throwing my hypothetical bra at him. 145 00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:07,465 (SHELDON PLAYING KEYBOARD) 146 00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:15,389 Oh, my God, he won't stop. 147 00:09:15,765 --> 00:09:18,643 How does he keep coming up with new ways to be annoying? 148 00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:22,647 Nobody knows, that's why he's number one. 149 00:09:24,357 --> 00:09:25,858 Can you please go talk to him? 150 00:09:26,025 --> 00:09:28,653 Oh, come on, I take care of him all day long. You do it for once! 151 00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:31,781 Once? Who got the gum out of his hair? 152 00:09:31,948 --> 00:09:34,492 What do you want, a medal? It was your gum. 153 00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:37,828 Fine. 154 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,831 - I love you. - Who cares? 155 00:09:43,918 --> 00:09:47,505 SHELDON: What are you doing in my room? I-- Stop it, that's mine! 156 00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:50,466 Why are you so strong? 157 00:09:55,137 --> 00:09:56,389 Problem solved. 158 00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:58,307 Oh! 159 00:10:02,228 --> 00:10:04,689 (SHELDON PLAYING TUBA) 160 00:10:07,692 --> 00:10:09,485 Oh, yeah, he got a tuba. 161 00:10:15,950 --> 00:10:18,035 Dear crazy, future Sheldon, 162 00:10:19,829 --> 00:10:21,747 this is a thermostat. 163 00:10:23,082 --> 00:10:25,042 It controls the temperature of the apartment. 164 00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:28,921 The ideal setting is 72 degrees. 165 00:10:29,297 --> 00:10:31,757 If you find this too cold, then put on a jacket. 166 00:10:32,091 --> 00:10:35,594 A straightjacket, 'cause 72's the best and you're crazy. 167 00:10:36,721 --> 00:10:40,683 Now, this is your spot. 168 00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,227 You're very protective of it. 169 00:10:43,394 --> 00:10:46,731 When anyone else tries to sit here, you berate them relentlessly. 170 00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:50,401 And it sounds mean, but somehow, you make it adorable. 171 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:55,489 People are also delighted by your love of pranks. 172 00:10:56,282 --> 00:10:59,994 For example, Leonard has no idea what I did to his coffee. 173 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:06,167 It wasn't replace it with Folgers crystals, I'll tell you that much. 174 00:11:07,126 --> 00:11:09,045 Hey, can we please get back to work? 175 00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:12,590 This is Leonard. He's your best friend in the world. 176 00:11:12,757 --> 00:11:14,759 Just stop, this is ridiculous. 177 00:11:17,428 --> 00:11:19,263 Sometimes he gets cranky, 178 00:11:20,056 --> 00:11:21,932 but you can trust him with your life. 179 00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:25,478 And he does more things for you than I can even begin to list. 180 00:11:26,604 --> 00:11:27,938 Thank you. 181 00:11:28,647 --> 00:11:30,441 Oh, no, he's drinking it! 182 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:38,699 Look at this. Trent is rebuilding a vintage motorcycle. 183 00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,786 That is so cool! 184 00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:45,664 Old broken things are so much better than new things that work. 185 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,585 - Who's Trent? - Oh, he's our fan. 186 00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:50,961 Fan of what? 187 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:54,048 Uh, did you forget? We're in a band. 188 00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:57,843 You mean, because you played one time in the comic book store? 189 00:11:58,010 --> 00:12:01,222 And at the children's hospital until they asked us to leave. 190 00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:06,435 Hey, dude, Trent just checked in at the coffee shop on Fair Oaks. 191 00:12:06,811 --> 00:12:08,896 Really? You wanna go down there and meet him? 192 00:12:09,063 --> 00:12:11,399 Are you stalking him? That's creepy. 193 00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:15,486 It's not creepy. I built the Footprints on the Moon fan page. Trent joined it. 194 00:12:15,653 --> 00:12:17,154 After that, all I did was check out his profile, 195 00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:19,657 go back in the archive of his feed until I found his Twitter handle. 196 00:12:19,824 --> 00:12:21,575 From there it was easy to find him on Instagram, 197 00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,661 Snapchat and pretty much track his every movement. 198 00:12:23,828 --> 00:12:27,081 So, if you think that's creepy, you married the wrong guy. 199 00:12:28,666 --> 00:12:30,126 Maybe I should marry Trent. 200 00:12:30,668 --> 00:12:32,711 Yeah. Like she could get Trent. 201 00:12:33,671 --> 00:12:34,672 (CHUCKLING) 202 00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:38,676 - This is delicious. - Thank you. 203 00:12:38,843 --> 00:12:41,178 Been a long time since I had a home-cooked meal. 204 00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:43,389 When you were married, did your wife cook? 205 00:12:43,556 --> 00:12:44,849 Uh, not at first, no. 206 00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:47,143 But when she started cheating on me with the French chef, 207 00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:50,104 she became quite the wiz in the kitchen. 208 00:12:50,980 --> 00:12:53,774 - So, a little silver lining. - I suppose. Yeah. 209 00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:55,943 Nothing takes the sting out of a shattered life 210 00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:58,529 like a properly seasoned bowl of onion soup. 211 00:13:00,865 --> 00:13:02,867 - How long have you lived here? - Uh... 212 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,036 About five years. I'm actually thinking about moving to a better place, 213 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,372 now that I don't need to be so close to-- 214 00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:11,542 - Well, you know. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) - I do. 215 00:13:11,709 --> 00:13:15,421 The brilliant physicist that I now know lives in the area. Not that I care. 216 00:13:16,464 --> 00:13:20,593 Yeah. Anyway, he doesn't drive, so I pretty much had to take him everywhere. 217 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,511 Had to or got to? 218 00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:24,054 Sorry. 219 00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:25,931 - My fault, I brought him up. - Yeah. 220 00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:29,393 Well, let's change the subject. No more mentions of you-know-who. 221 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:31,896 That's a cool train. Where did you get that? 222 00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:36,942 (HUMMING) 223 00:13:44,158 --> 00:13:46,827 (GARGLING) 224 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,206 This song is never going to stop. 225 00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:53,459 Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating? 226 00:13:56,128 --> 00:13:58,047 That's a trick question, right? 227 00:13:58,923 --> 00:14:00,257 Now, I shouldn't be surprised. 228 00:14:00,424 --> 00:14:04,261 There's a rich history of brilliant minds descending into madness. 229 00:14:04,470 --> 00:14:06,222 Come on, Sheldon, there are plenty of smart people 230 00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:07,806 who don't have mental problems. 231 00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:10,768 Yeah, she's right. For every Newton who had a psychological issue, 232 00:14:10,935 --> 00:14:14,396 there's an Edison who was just a jerk. That could totally be you. 233 00:14:15,773 --> 00:14:18,859 Empedocles thought he was a god and jumped into a volcano. 234 00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:22,112 You know, Pythagoras had an irrational fear of beans. 235 00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:26,492 Tesla fell madly in love with a pigeon who he claimed loved him back. 236 00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:29,954 Maybe he just had bread in his pocket. 237 00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:37,169 The list extends outside of science. Painters like Van Gogh and Pollock. 238 00:14:37,378 --> 00:14:40,965 Chess champion Bobby Fischer. Brian Wilson of The Beach-- 239 00:14:44,343 --> 00:14:46,428 (DARLIN' PLAYING) 240 00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:57,731 I remember the song! It's called Darlin' by The Beach Boys! Thank goodness! 241 00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:02,570 I'm not crazy! I don't have to take a pigeon as my bride! 242 00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:08,158 There goes our shot at him living on the roof. 243 00:15:12,121 --> 00:15:13,747 All right, there he is. 244 00:15:14,665 --> 00:15:19,378 - So, should we introduce ourselves? - No, let him spot us. 245 00:15:20,129 --> 00:15:23,173 I wonder if he's listening to our music right now. 246 00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:26,635 Could you imagine? What a cool way for us to meet. 247 00:15:26,802 --> 00:15:30,014 He's playing our song and looks up and there we are. 248 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:33,183 His favorite two-piece acoustic sci-fi novelty rock band. 249 00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:38,522 And he's all, like, "Aren't you the guys from Footprints on the Moon..." 250 00:15:38,731 --> 00:15:40,691 Ooh! What is he doing? 251 00:15:44,528 --> 00:15:48,324 - I can't watch. - It's okay. Oh, it's okay, he's done. 252 00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:50,993 Why is he looking at it? 253 00:15:52,411 --> 00:15:55,289 No, he's not going to eat it, is he? 254 00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:57,333 Come on, Trent, you're better than-- 255 00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:58,667 BOTH: No! 256 00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:04,590 Let's just go. 257 00:16:06,717 --> 00:16:07,885 Hey, aren't you the guys from-- 258 00:16:08,052 --> 00:16:09,803 - Nope! - Never heard of them! 259 00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:14,725 (DARLIN' PLAYING) 260 00:16:16,352 --> 00:16:19,480 I wonder why it was this particular song that was stuck in my head. 261 00:16:19,647 --> 00:16:21,065 I don't know, it's pretty catchy. 262 00:16:21,315 --> 00:16:22,900 Yeah, do you even like The Beach Boys? 263 00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:26,070 They have "beach" right in the name, what do you think? 264 00:16:27,363 --> 00:16:28,697 Well, now that you can focus again, 265 00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:31,575 what do you say we get back to surface tension of domain walls? 266 00:16:31,784 --> 00:16:35,704 Of course, I'm already seeing a more efficient way of taming the-- 267 00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:38,832 I know why the song was in my head. 268 00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:41,210 - Why? - It's about Amy. 269 00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:43,754 Okay, look. I know Amy's like an old lady, 270 00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:48,008 but she's not old enough to have a song from the '60s written about her. 271 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:51,220 It's about how she made my life better. Consider the lyrics. 272 00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:53,430 (READING OUT LYRICS) 273 00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,774 She did soften your life, didn't she? 274 00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:07,778 Yes! She's like the dryer sheets of my heart! 275 00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:11,657 I have to go. 276 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:15,452 Aw. 277 00:17:15,703 --> 00:17:18,372 Am I like the dryer sheets of your heart? 278 00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:23,001 Better. You're the lint trap of my love. 279 00:17:33,554 --> 00:17:38,058 - That's an interesting tie clip. - Oh, thanks. It's Avogadro's constant. 280 00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:40,769 It's useful for calculating the number of atoms in a substance, 281 00:17:40,936 --> 00:17:43,981 or causing regret in anyone who asks about it. 282 00:17:45,524 --> 00:17:48,318 No, I think it's neat. (CHUCKLES) 283 00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:50,654 - Oh! - Sorry, sorry! 284 00:17:50,821 --> 00:17:54,408 No one's ever liked the tie clip before, so I just lost all control. I... 285 00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:58,662 No, it's okay, and we are on a date. I'm... 286 00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:00,706 I'm just a little nervous. 287 00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:03,667 Well, no need to be nervous with me. 288 00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:06,837 I'm just a harmless giant from a foreign land. 289 00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:11,925 You know, I'm just being silly. I... 290 00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:14,595 I don't know what I'm waiting for. 291 00:18:17,973 --> 00:18:21,101 - (KNOCK ON THE DOOR) - SHELDON: Amy. Amy. Amy. 292 00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:26,190 - That's Sheldon. - You're kidding! How's my hair? 293 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,615 Sheldon, this isn't a good time. 294 00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:38,827 I don't care. Amy, there was a song I couldn't get out of my head. 295 00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:41,747 Eventually, I realized the song was about you, 296 00:18:41,914 --> 00:18:46,543 and like that earworm, I can't get you out of my heart. 297 00:18:46,877 --> 00:18:49,379 So, what I'm trying to say is, 298 00:18:50,005 --> 00:18:51,381 you're my heartworm. 299 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:56,845 The metaphorical kind, not the poodle-killing kind. 300 00:18:58,013 --> 00:18:59,056 What? 301 00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,433 If I may. 302 00:19:02,226 --> 00:19:05,395 I believe what he's saying, in a charming and delightful way, 303 00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,898 is that he loves you and wants you back. 304 00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:11,276 Dave Gibbs, huge fan of your work. Don't mind me. 305 00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,699 I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were on a date. 306 00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:20,619 No, it's okay, keep going. 307 00:19:21,078 --> 00:19:25,582 Amy, if you want to be my girlfriend again, I really want to be your boyfriend. 308 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,418 I really want that, too. 309 00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:30,170 Good. 310 00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:31,839 Because I love you. 311 00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:35,884 I love you, too. 312 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:37,761 (SIGHS IN RELIEF) 313 00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:40,305 Kiss her, you brilliant fool! 314 00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:55,612 Well... 315 00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,699 I'll let you get back to your date. 316 00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:01,118 Get back here. 317 00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:24,850 Okay, then. 318 00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:28,645 I'll, uh, see myself out. 319 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,982 Amy, thank you for dinner. 320 00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,527 Dr. Cooper, pleasure to meet you, sir. 321 00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,158 Uh, if, perhaps, sometime, you have a spare moment, 322 00:20:41,325 --> 00:20:46,038 I'd love to discuss physics or shoot the breeze, as you Yanks say. 323 00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:54,004 Oh! What a lovely evening! 324 00:21:22,866 --> 00:21:23,867 English - SDH