1
00:00:03,713 --> 00:00:05,382
Oh, hey, if you guys are free
this weekend,

2
00:00:05,548 --> 00:00:07,175
I won a night of wine tasting from work.

3
00:00:07,592 --> 00:00:08,760
- That sounds fun.
- Mmm-hmm.

4
00:00:08,927 --> 00:00:12,138
Like, how come scientists
don't win free stuff like sales people do?

5
00:00:12,305 --> 00:00:15,433
'Cause we're not in it for the stuff.
(CHUCKLES) We're in it for the groupies.

6
00:00:17,936 --> 00:00:20,689
Personally, I find the notion
of external rewards demeaning.

7
00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:23,942
I pursue science
for the intrinsic joy of discovery.

8
00:00:24,609 --> 00:00:26,945
But you always say
that you wanna win a Nobel Prize.

9
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,489
I also say, "Don't contradict me
in front of my friends,"

10
00:00:29,656 --> 00:00:30,699
but that you don't remember.

11
00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:33,660
All right. Well, let me know
if you guys wanna go.

12
00:00:33,827 --> 00:00:34,828
I would love to.

13
00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:37,956
I do enjoy the complexity
of an aged Pinot Noir.

14
00:00:38,123 --> 00:00:41,042
I'm sure that would pair nicely
with your five nuggets of chicken.

15
00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:45,088
Well, it sounds like a nice night.
We should go.

16
00:00:45,255 --> 00:00:47,382
Wine again? Yeah, no, thank you.

17
00:00:47,549 --> 00:00:50,468
I like my grapes the old-fashioned way,
in a juice box.

18
00:00:51,928 --> 00:00:52,971
Well, I'm going.

19
00:00:53,138 --> 00:00:54,973
You couldn't stop me
from getting a massage at the mall,

20
00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:56,474
and you're not stopping me now.

21
00:00:56,808 --> 00:01:00,311
I shouldn't have to see my girlfriend
get groped in public by another man.

22
00:01:01,563 --> 00:01:02,564
And I shouldn't have to see

23
00:01:02,731 --> 00:01:05,316
my boyfriend riding on a train
for children, around the mall.

24
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:08,987
The little choo-choo for toddlers?

25
00:01:09,154 --> 00:01:10,989
And now you know why I needed the massage.

26
00:01:12,532 --> 00:01:13,533
Well, we're out.

27
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,702
Bernie can't drink, 'cause she's pregnant.

28
00:01:15,869 --> 00:01:20,081
And she's pregnant because we had sex,
and we had sex because, well... (CHUCKLES)

29
00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:21,249
Come on.

30
00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:24,961
It's okay, you should go.

31
00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:26,713
- You sure?
- Of course.

32
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,798
Yeah, give her a break from...

33
00:01:28,965 --> 00:01:30,300
Well, come on.

34
00:01:32,427 --> 00:01:34,804
Well, Bernadette, looks like
Saturday night, it's you and me.

35
00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:36,431
Me? How? Why?

36
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:39,225
Well, it makes perfect sense.

37
00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:42,896
Look, because you're an expectant mother,
you can't drink alcohol, I don't like to.

38
00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:45,231
You can't have sushi, and I don't like to.

39
00:01:45,398 --> 00:01:46,900
You can't go in hot tubs.

40
00:01:47,066 --> 00:01:49,694
I consider them
vats of sweaty-people soup.

41
00:01:51,696 --> 00:01:53,031
Gee, Sheldon, I don't know.

42
00:01:53,198 --> 00:01:56,868
Oh, come on. Well, roller coasters,
caffeine, runny eggs.

43
00:01:57,035 --> 00:01:58,745
I've been avoiding these things
all my life.

44
00:01:58,912 --> 00:02:00,872
And now, because you're pregnant,
you have to.

45
00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:04,209
The difference is,
she's bringing life into the world,

46
00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,376
and you sucked it out.

47
00:02:07,754 --> 00:02:08,963
I guess we could give it a try.

48
00:02:09,589 --> 00:02:11,633
Well, little lady,
you've heard of party hardy.

49
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,384
Get ready to party hardly.

50
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,180
I bet you'd like a drink right now.

51
00:02:20,058 --> 00:02:22,060
(THEME SONG PLAYING)

52
00:02:46,709 --> 00:02:49,045
Hey, you think it'd be okay
if I brought Claire to the wine tasting?

53
00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:50,296
Sure, I'd like to meet her.

54
00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:52,298
Oh, that's great. I've been wanting
her to meet you guys, too.

55
00:02:52,465 --> 00:02:54,092
So, this seems
like the perfect opportunity.

56
00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:55,635
But I won't be there.

57
00:02:55,802 --> 00:02:56,886
Funny how that worked out.

58
00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:00,974
Does this mean
Emily's not in the picture anymore?

59
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:02,183
No, I'm still dating her.

60
00:03:02,642 --> 00:03:03,726
Okay, help me out.

61
00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:06,396
How are you doing this?
Do they know about each other?

62
00:03:06,563 --> 00:03:10,316
They know that we're not exclusive,
and we just don't ask too many questions.

63
00:03:10,483 --> 00:03:13,111
You know what, it's like how I play
<i>Warlords of Ka'a</i> with you,

64
00:03:13,278 --> 00:03:15,905
and <i>Elder Sign</i> with Frank and Alicia.

65
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,367
Who's Frank and Alicia?

66
00:03:20,285 --> 00:03:24,247
You and I spend a lot of time together.
Can there be a little mystery between us?

67
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,917
Okay, everything's hooked up, we're ready.
(CHUCKLES)

68
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,712
I am going to record this for posterity.

69
00:03:30,879 --> 00:03:32,505
All right, here goes nothing.

70
00:03:32,839 --> 00:03:33,923
"Here goes nothing"?

71
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:35,758
This is the initial test
for our prototype.

72
00:03:35,925 --> 00:03:38,344
- Can we give it a little more gravitas?
- Fine.

73
00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:39,971
<i>Preliminary trial</i>

74
00:03:40,138 --> 00:03:42,765
<i>of the infinite persistence
gyroscopic navigational system,</i>

75
00:03:42,932 --> 00:03:44,142
<i>phase one, commencing.</i>

76
00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:45,852
Uh... Maybe it's your voice.

77
00:03:46,019 --> 00:03:48,146
I'm gonna see if I can get
James Earl Jones to do it in post.

78
00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:51,482
(WHIRRING)

79
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,067
(CHUCKLES)

80
00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:54,235
(EXCLAIMS SOFTLY)

81
00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:57,655
Ah...

82
00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:00,742
It's... It's beautiful.

83
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:04,829
Actually, it's making me dizzy.

84
00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:06,706
Good, it's not just me. (CHUCKLES)

85
00:04:13,546 --> 00:04:15,006
- CLAIRE: <i>Hello.</i>
- Hey, Claire.

86
00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:18,259
- Hey, what's up?
- Hi, yeah, um, I was wondering

87
00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:20,553
if you're free Saturday night. (CHUCKLES)

88
00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:22,722
All my friends
are going to a wine tasting.

89
00:04:23,348 --> 00:04:24,432
Sure.

90
00:04:24,599 --> 00:04:27,769
I guess. If you don't think
meeting your friends is too big a step.

91
00:04:28,478 --> 00:04:30,355
Why would it be too big a step?

92
00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:33,316
I don't know,
I just don't want things to get weird.

93
00:04:34,484 --> 00:04:36,444
Nothing to worry about.

94
00:04:36,653 --> 00:04:39,238
People meet people all the time,
and it isn't weird.

95
00:04:39,614 --> 00:04:40,657
I met Bon Jovi once,

96
00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:43,576
which you'd think might be weird.
Turns out, total sweetheart.

97
00:04:45,787 --> 00:04:49,457
Okay, but you and I
have been keeping things casual.

98
00:04:49,624 --> 00:04:52,335
Will you introduce me as your friend
or as your girlfriend?

99
00:04:53,044 --> 00:04:55,004
What if I like them
and they don't like me?

100
00:04:55,171 --> 00:04:57,173
What if they like me
and I don't like them?

101
00:04:58,091 --> 00:05:00,176
Boy, it wasn't this hard with Bon Jovi.

102
00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:03,096
I said, "You rock!"
He said, "Thanks, man." And that was that.

103
00:05:06,099 --> 00:05:07,892
(SCRATCHES AND SNIFFS)

104
00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,357
- Hey, you ready to go?
- Hang on.

105
00:05:14,607 --> 00:05:15,608
What are you doing?

106
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,695
Oh, I found a scratch-and-sniff book
about wine tasting.

107
00:05:20,196 --> 00:05:22,448
It teaches
the different flavor notes to look for.

108
00:05:22,615 --> 00:05:26,244
- You actually smell the wine?
- I mostly just smell my nasal spray.

109
00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:30,373
- Are your sinuses acting up?
- Since my preschool got a bunny.

110
00:05:32,125 --> 00:05:34,085
Hey, are you still hanging out
with Bernadette tonight?

111
00:05:34,252 --> 00:05:37,922
Yes, and we're going to prove that
we don't need alcohol to enjoy ourselves.

112
00:05:38,214 --> 00:05:39,215
Oh, good for you.

113
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:43,970
Or caffeine, tobacco, sushi, soft cheese,
processed meats and Jacuzzis,

114
00:05:44,137 --> 00:05:46,139
which can all be harmful
to an unborn baby.

115
00:05:47,265 --> 00:05:49,183
No honey-baked ham in a hot tub, got it.

116
00:05:50,268 --> 00:05:51,352
No, and no bubble baths either.

117
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,271
They can increase the risk
of a urinary tract infection--

118
00:05:53,438 --> 00:05:54,439
- Okay, have fun.
- Yeah.

119
00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:57,734
Oh, and no swordfish, king mackerel,
shark or tilefish,

120
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:58,943
which are all high in mercury.

121
00:05:59,110 --> 00:06:00,153
We're leaving now!

122
00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:02,989
And no contact with guinea pigs
or hamsters or their droppings.

123
00:06:03,156 --> 00:06:05,616
No cat litter boxes, no paint fumes--

124
00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:07,118
Okay, we're leaving. Love you, bye!

125
00:06:09,996 --> 00:06:11,414
Boy, do I love restrictions.

126
00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:17,128
- (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
- Hey. (CHUCKLES) Where is everybody?

127
00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:18,796
Oh, we're the first ones here.

128
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:20,423
Oh.

129
00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:21,883
Cool.

130
00:06:22,884 --> 00:06:25,136
Yeah. (CHUCKLES) Cool.

131
00:06:28,473 --> 00:06:29,474
(SIGHS)

132
00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:35,438
Now, I don't remember the last time
it was just you and me hanging out.

133
00:06:35,605 --> 00:06:37,690
Oh, I do, it was three years ago.

134
00:06:38,316 --> 00:06:41,903
Oh, yeah, then we said
we should do it more often.

135
00:06:42,070 --> 00:06:43,946
(CHUCKLES) And... And then, here we are.

136
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,161
(SIGHS)

137
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,290
So, Sheldon and Bernadette
are hanging out.

138
00:06:54,874 --> 00:06:57,585
I know. What are they gonna talk about?

139
00:06:57,752 --> 00:06:58,753
(BOTH LAUGH)

140
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:00,588
I don't know.

141
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:03,132
I really don't know.

142
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:05,593
Hey.

143
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,011
- Oh, good!
- Oh, thank God!

144
00:07:08,221 --> 00:07:09,222
You guys been here long?

145
00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:11,015
- No, two minutes.
- But, yes.

146
00:07:13,226 --> 00:07:14,227
Where's Claire?

147
00:07:14,519 --> 00:07:15,603
Oh, she's meeting us here.

148
00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:18,773
Hey guys, do me a favor, and don't ask
too many questions about the relationship.

149
00:07:18,940 --> 00:07:20,525
We're just keeping it casual.

150
00:07:20,817 --> 00:07:24,529
Oh, so, I shouldn't ask her how she feels
about being a member of your harem?

151
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:28,491
Yeah, I know you're teasing,
but watch out for karma.

152
00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:31,160
Hey, Penny,
isn't that your old boyfriend, Zack?

153
00:07:32,245 --> 00:07:33,329
Oh, yeah.

154
00:07:33,538 --> 00:07:35,623
- Are you gonna say hi to him?
- Uh, I don't know.

155
00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:38,459
Hey, while you decide,
who's better in bed?

156
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:41,045
Big, hot Zack or wheezy little Leonard?

157
00:07:44,257 --> 00:07:45,591
Neener-neener.

158
00:07:48,219 --> 00:07:50,221
- I brought sparkling cider.
- Oh...

159
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:52,765
The bubbles tickle my nose.

160
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:56,561
I'll just open this now, so it can get
nice and flat before we drink it.

161
00:07:58,729 --> 00:07:59,730
So, what do you wanna do tonight?

162
00:07:59,939 --> 00:08:01,732
Oh, I have quite the evening planned.

163
00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:05,236
Yeah, our fetus-friendly
festival of fun begins,

164
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:08,531
with an in-depth look
at the world of model trains.

165
00:08:08,698 --> 00:08:10,199
And then, we'll kick things up a notch,

166
00:08:10,366 --> 00:08:12,952
and explore all the different ways
that you can make toast.

167
00:08:14,579 --> 00:08:15,746
There's more than one?

168
00:08:17,081 --> 00:08:18,624
- You've heard of French toast?
- Yeah.

169
00:08:18,791 --> 00:08:19,917
- And cinnamon toast?
- Yeah.

170
00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:21,127
- Melba toast?
- Yeah.

171
00:08:21,294 --> 00:08:22,336
You get where I'm going here?

172
00:08:24,714 --> 00:08:25,756
Yeah.

173
00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:30,887
I'm getting an earthy note.

174
00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:33,097
Yeah. There's definitely some oak.

175
00:08:33,264 --> 00:08:35,057
Also, uh, cherries?

176
00:08:35,433 --> 00:08:36,475
I smell nothing.

177
00:08:38,603 --> 00:08:40,605
Really? Nothing?

178
00:08:41,147 --> 00:08:43,149
It's just a whole lot of Afrin.

179
00:08:44,984 --> 00:08:46,027
Penny?

180
00:08:46,444 --> 00:08:48,446
Oh, Zack, hi. You guys remember Zack?

181
00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:49,614
- Yeah. Hey, buddy.
- Hello.

182
00:08:49,906 --> 00:08:51,407
Hey, did you two get married?

183
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:52,783
- Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
- We did.

184
00:08:53,201 --> 00:08:54,702
To each other?

185
00:08:56,287 --> 00:08:57,288
Yes.

186
00:08:57,705 --> 00:09:00,750
Cool. 'Cause other than
when you broke up with him and dated me,

187
00:09:00,917 --> 00:09:03,127
then broke up with me,
and then dated me one more time

188
00:09:03,294 --> 00:09:04,629
before going back to him,

189
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:06,130
I was always rooting for you two.

190
00:09:07,423 --> 00:09:08,466
Thanks.

191
00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:11,135
So, how's the science world?
What're you guys up to?

192
00:09:12,053 --> 00:09:15,139
We've actually been working on a prototype
for a navigation system we invented.

193
00:09:15,306 --> 00:09:16,474
But we won't bore you with the details.

194
00:09:16,641 --> 00:09:18,768
Are you kidding? I love science.

195
00:09:18,935 --> 00:09:22,271
Einstein, Stephen Hawking,
Mike deGrasse Tyson.

196
00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:25,650
Mike deGrasse Tyson?

197
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:29,320
Yeah, you know, the boxer who grew
a mustache and became a scientist.

198
00:09:31,155 --> 00:09:32,240
So, what's your invention?

199
00:09:32,949 --> 00:09:37,662
Well, we're using quantum vortices
to replace gyroscopes in guidance systems.

200
00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:40,915
And what's neat is that they can
maintain angular momentum indefinitely.

201
00:09:41,499 --> 00:09:44,210
Angular momentum.
I was wondering about that.

202
00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:51,133
You could put it in a satellite
or a rocket, and it'll run forever.

203
00:09:51,342 --> 00:09:52,593
Cool.

204
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,845
Could it be used
for missiles and war stuff?

205
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:58,349
Yeah, but we didn't create it for weapons.

206
00:09:58,516 --> 00:10:01,435
And I doubt the military would be
interested in our little guidance system.

207
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,020
Is it better than the one they use now?

208
00:10:03,229 --> 00:10:04,522
- A lot!
- Way better!

209
00:10:06,107 --> 00:10:07,108
Huh.

210
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,026
You sure you guys are smart?

211
00:10:16,701 --> 00:10:20,037
H-O gauge trains are 1:87th scale.

212
00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:22,957
N gauge are 1:160th scale.

213
00:10:23,291 --> 00:10:25,459
And that brings us to Z gauge at a

214
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:30,214
"You could easily swallow it,
don't ask how I know," 1:220.

215
00:10:30,715 --> 00:10:32,049
I'm sorry, I have to ask.

216
00:10:32,925 --> 00:10:35,594
When I was five,
I ingested a Z gauge locomotive.

217
00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:37,179
I spent the next three days saying,

218
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:40,516
"I think I can pass it, I think
I can pass it, I think I can pass it."

219
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,396
What is it about trains
that you like so much?

220
00:10:45,563 --> 00:10:47,690
(SIGHS) Interesting question.

221
00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:52,403
When I was a child,
life was confusing and chaotic for me,

222
00:10:52,570 --> 00:10:54,155
and trains represented order.

223
00:10:54,405 --> 00:10:58,242
I could line them up,
categorize them, control them.

224
00:10:58,659 --> 00:10:59,744
I guess you could say

225
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:03,080
that they gave me
a sense of calm in a world that didn't.

226
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,083
- That's lovely, Sheldon.
- Yeah.

227
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:07,918
Other than when they're
chugging through your bowels,

228
00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,253
these things are magic.

229
00:11:13,591 --> 00:11:14,675
I have to admit, I've been worried

230
00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:17,720
about the military applications
since we started talking about this.

231
00:11:17,887 --> 00:11:19,055
Me, too.

232
00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:20,473
Why didn't you say something?

233
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:24,101
Same reason I don't talk about ass cancer,
it's not a pleasant topic.

234
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:27,396
Hey, you can't let this stop you.

235
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:30,775
Almost any scientific advancement
can be used for destructive purposes.

236
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:33,235
That's true.
Even Einstein's theory of relativity

237
00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:35,863
was later applied
to the development of nuclear weapons.

238
00:11:36,030 --> 00:11:37,615
E equals MC squared.

239
00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:41,619
Yeah, "E" is energy, "M" for mass
and "C" for the speed of light.

240
00:11:41,786 --> 00:11:42,787
(CLICKS TONGUE)

241
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:45,581
How do you know that?

242
00:11:45,790 --> 00:11:48,417
Oh, Leonard mumbles it
when he wants sex to last longer.

243
00:11:52,213 --> 00:11:53,214
Hey, Raj.

244
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,674
Hey, Claire. Good, you're here.

245
00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:57,760
Guys, this is my friend, Claire.

246
00:11:57,927 --> 00:12:00,721
We're casually dating, and there's no need
for any further questions about it.

247
00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:05,726
- Would you like a glass of wine?
- I said no questions.

248
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:10,856
SHELDON: And last but not least,

249
00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:14,151
this is one
that I like to call <i>Star Wars</i> Toast

250
00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:18,406
because it has a light side
and a dark side.

251
00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:24,286
All righty,
it's time for <i>Dungeons and Dragons.</i>

252
00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:27,998
<i>Dungeons and Dragons,</i>
(SIGHS) that sounds about right.

253
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:32,837
You're going to enjoy this,
I designed it especially for you.

254
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,338
Okay, but just for a little bit.

255
00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:36,549
Oh, I have a feeling that once you start,

256
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:39,009
you're not gonna want to,
or be allowed to, stop.

257
00:12:39,969 --> 00:12:41,178
All right.

258
00:12:42,555 --> 00:12:44,098
- Ready?
- You bet.

259
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:47,518
Your name is Bernatrix.

260
00:12:47,685 --> 00:12:52,022
You are a warrior queen.
You're strong, beautiful, and tall.

261
00:12:52,398 --> 00:12:54,608
Ooh, I like the idea of being tall.

262
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,862
I think you're gonna like a lot of things
I have in store.

263
00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:00,823
For example, in this world,
only the men get pregnant.

264
00:13:00,990 --> 00:13:04,201
So, your husband is home
trying not to pee when he laughs.

265
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,163
This is getting fun. What's next?

266
00:13:07,455 --> 00:13:09,707
You're parched and weary from battle.

267
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:11,584
You stand in front of a tavern

268
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:15,296
that serves the coldest,
most delicious ale in all the realm.

269
00:13:16,005 --> 00:13:17,465
Oh, I haven't had a drink in months.

270
00:13:18,174 --> 00:13:19,258
What do you do?

271
00:13:20,426 --> 00:13:22,761
I storm in, slam my sword down, and say,

272
00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:24,930
"Barkeep, bring me
the strongest ale you have

273
00:13:25,097 --> 00:13:26,807
"and serve it in the skull of a goblin!"

274
00:13:30,311 --> 00:13:31,520
He wants to see ID.

275
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:38,527
So, Claire, we've heard
so many wonderful things about you.

276
00:13:39,153 --> 00:13:40,905
Really? Like what?

277
00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:44,825
Uh, mostly Penny's heard them.

278
00:13:48,621 --> 00:13:51,165
Boy, you get some dirty looks over there
when you ask for ice.

279
00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:55,294
Zack, this is my friend, Claire.

280
00:13:55,461 --> 00:13:56,879
You're hot. You seeing anybody?

281
00:13:59,173 --> 00:14:01,258
- She's seeing me.
- Why'd you say she's your friend?

282
00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:02,426
We're just keeping it casual.

283
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,637
Why is he being casual with you?
You seem great.

284
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,096
I don't know. Ask him.

285
00:14:06,347 --> 00:14:08,265
Why are you being casual with her?
She seems great.

286
00:14:16,941 --> 00:14:19,193
Maybe we should take a step back.

287
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,529
Take a step back?
I'm not a young man anymore.

288
00:14:23,948 --> 00:14:27,326
No, I mean re-evaluate what we're doing
with the guidance system.

289
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:31,288
But (SCOFFS) I got a baby on the way.
I gotta make some money.

290
00:14:31,664 --> 00:14:34,959
What good is money gonna do if we
inadvertently bring about Armageddon?

291
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:36,418
Okay, let me stop you right there.

292
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:40,631
We absolutely know our invention
will not be used to destroy the world.

293
00:14:40,798 --> 00:14:41,799
How?

294
00:14:41,966 --> 00:14:44,426
Because no one from the future
has come back to kill us.

295
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:50,057
- (SIGHS) Very funny.
- You got something better?

296
00:14:50,641 --> 00:14:52,351
- No, not really.
- Okay, then.

297
00:14:54,687 --> 00:14:55,980
(TOILET FLUSHES)

298
00:14:58,566 --> 00:15:00,150
How much wine did you drink?

299
00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:03,153
Not a lot, I just couldn't start
until you walked away.

300
00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:09,994
The Hell Prawn
lunges out of the hot spring.

301
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,161
(DICE CLATTERS)

302
00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:14,206
You block it with your shield.
Do you attack?

303
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,457
Does it have eyes?

304
00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:18,961
Yeah, three giant red ones,
and they never blink. It's unsettling.

305
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,047
I stab it in the middle eye.

306
00:15:22,506 --> 00:15:23,507
(DICE CLATTERS)

307
00:15:23,674 --> 00:15:25,217
Good choice! Critical hit!

308
00:15:25,384 --> 00:15:28,095
Your sword goes through its eye,
into its tiny brain.

309
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:30,514
With its final dying gasp, it says,

310
00:15:30,681 --> 00:15:33,892
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
"You have reduced me to a pile of sushi.

311
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:37,563
"Enjoy me with this packet of soy sauce.

312
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,899
"It's low sodium. Ah..."

313
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:44,862
Okay, I guess I should eat the Hell Prawn.

314
00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:48,240
Using your sword,
you prepare a beautiful sushi dinner.

315
00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:52,536
You slip into the hot spring, and enjoy
the warm water on your aching joints.

316
00:15:52,703 --> 00:15:56,707
As you happily close your eyes, you recall
the incredible evening you've had,

317
00:15:56,874 --> 00:15:58,876
and notice that your (DICE CLATTERS)

318
00:15:59,752 --> 00:16:02,546
feet and ankles
are smaller than they've ever been.

319
00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:04,923
The end.

320
00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:08,719
Oh. This night turned out to be
so much more fun than I thought.

321
00:16:08,886 --> 00:16:10,387
Ooh, the fun doesn't stop.

322
00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:12,306
You're still going home
with a goodie bag full of toast.

323
00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:17,394
Thank you for this.

324
00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:20,856
You know, ever since people found out
I'm having a baby,

325
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:23,275
I feel like I became
"Pregnant Bernadette."

326
00:16:23,442 --> 00:16:25,194
It was nice
to take a little break tonight.

327
00:16:25,778 --> 00:16:27,529
I can understand that.

328
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:29,615
From the moment
people realized I was a genius,

329
00:16:29,782 --> 00:16:31,241
I've been "Sheldon the Genius."

330
00:16:33,077 --> 00:16:35,079
Although I've never really
wanted a break from that,

331
00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:36,664
so I suppose I don't understand.

332
00:16:37,623 --> 00:16:40,668
Which is ironic 'cause, you know, genius.
(CHUCKLES)

333
00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:45,589
- Well, thanks again.
- You're welcome.

334
00:16:45,798 --> 00:16:48,467
And any time you need a break
from being "Bernadette the Pregnant,"

335
00:16:48,634 --> 00:16:50,719
"Bernatrix the Warrior Queen"
is here waiting.

336
00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:52,763
I might just take you up on that.

337
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:56,433
Well, now mind you, that offer's only good
until the third trimester.

338
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,061
I can't risk getting amniotic fluid
on my spot.

339
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:05,693
Hey, dude, you're killing me with Claire.

340
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:06,860
What're you talkin' about?

341
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:09,363
Oh, I mean, come on, look at you.

342
00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:12,449
You're classically handsome,
you've got a swimmer's body.

343
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:14,618
Next to you, I look like me.

344
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,539
Oh, man, I didn't mean to do that.

345
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:21,375
But I do appreciate you recognizing
my swimmer's body.

346
00:17:23,127 --> 00:17:26,255
Which, incidentally, I got from playing
Marco Polo at the YMCA.

347
00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:30,426
Yeah, okay.

348
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:34,638
Just do me a favor, and stop
talking about how great Claire is.

349
00:17:35,723 --> 00:17:37,224
Anything for you,
my little foreign friend.

350
00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:42,354
So I gotta ask,
does Raj bring around other girls?

351
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:47,151
Uh, you know,
I'm not really around that much.

352
00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:48,694
- Amy knows much more than I do.
- (SPUTTERS)

353
00:17:50,738 --> 00:17:52,114
I don't think
you have anything to worry about.

354
00:17:52,281 --> 00:17:54,867
Raj is a terrific guy, loyal to a fault.

355
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:57,035
Yeah, I mean, he still has an AOL address.

356
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:00,998
I see what you're sayin'.

357
00:18:01,957 --> 00:18:03,000
She's not so great.

358
00:18:08,964 --> 00:18:11,633
Don't listen to him.
He says crazy things all the time.

359
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,177
- Watch. Marco.
- Polo.

360
00:18:16,889 --> 00:18:19,725
So, uh, what are you guys talking about?

361
00:18:19,892 --> 00:18:22,936
Your friends were just telling me
about all the other girls you're dating.

362
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:27,983
Why would you do that?
I specifically asked you not to do that.

363
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,360
- We didn't.
- You just did.

364
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,532
Wow. Maybe none of you guys are smart.

365
00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:46,460
- Morning.
- Morning.

366
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:49,254
Ugh. Too much wine.

367
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:52,758
Oh, I overdid it myself last night.
Hair of the dog.

368
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:56,887
Hey, did you ever think about

369
00:18:57,054 --> 00:18:59,431
the military applications
for the guidance system?

370
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:01,058
Of course.

371
00:19:01,350 --> 00:19:02,351
Does it bother you?

372
00:19:03,811 --> 00:19:05,312
No. It did at first.

373
00:19:05,479 --> 00:19:08,565
But then I talked it through
with Frank and Alicia,

374
00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:14,238
and they really helped
put things into perspective.

375
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:16,532
Who are these people?

376
00:19:18,242 --> 00:19:19,409
Leonard.

377
00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,245
Friends are like toilet paper.

378
00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,581
It's good to have extras under the sink.

379
00:19:58,365 --> 00:19:59,366
English - SDH